Chapter 5

Thankfully, the guys left me alone while I worked, and I felt calmer the longer I worked on the car. As I worked on the car, I didn't let any other thought come to mind. I found out, at an early age, that if I wanted to calm down from something, I had to focus completely on something else. And it had to be something that I could do with my hands. When I was young, it was cars on which I could work. When I was older and Tig was teaching me how to shoot, he also taught me how to clean the guns. I found that it worked the same way.

Clay called for lunch, and the guys got up to go eat. I stayed where I was, trying to get the alternator out so I could put a new one in. There was the sound of heavy boots that stopped next to the car, but I didn't look up. "You gotta eat," Happy's rasp sounded next to me.

I finally got the alternator out and turned to him with an exasperated look. "I'll eat after everyone is done Happy," I told him. "I'm not in the mood for them to try to convince me that my Pop did the right thing."

Happy sighed as he ran a hand over the snake tattoo on his head. "You can't be living in the past. You have changed, so she could have as well."

I scoffed at that. "Yeah, I highly doubt that." I looked over at him after placing the alternator down. "You love your mom, that means you had a good childhood. Gemma was more my mother than anyone else, and she was always there when I would fight with my mother."

"I was a difficult child Sav," Happy admitted to me as he leaned against the car. "I'm man enough to admit it, and I know I caused my ma a lot of problems."

"Yeah, but she still supported your decisions," I shot back. "She still supports you to this day, no matter what." I walked over and leaned against the car next to him. "All my mother ever did was put me down and make me think that I was worthless. I never really told anyone how bad it really was." I glanced over at him, and he met my eyes with no judgement in his own. "Are we really having our first fight over my mother?" I inquired quietly.

Happy chuckled with a wide smile. "This isn't a fight."

"Yes, it is," I whispered as I gave him a look.

He kept the smile on his face as he took my hand, lacing our fingers together and held it between us. "Might as well get it out of the way now." I chuckled with him, and he squeezed my hand to get my attention. "You don't have to face her alone."

I smiled at him but before I could answer, there was shouting coming from the clubhouse. We separated, standing, and stepped out from behind the car. There was a woman with light hair that fell to her shoulders and a little heavy set that was arguing with my Pop. I recognized her immediately, as she really hadn't changed much in the last ten years. Sighing, I wiped my hands on a clean oil rag.

Happy turned to me with a curious look. "You know who that is?"

I looked at him with a weary look. "You wanted to meet my mother," I muttered to his shock.

"That's your mother?" he asked for clarification.

I gave him a sardonic smile as I walked towards the clubhouse and my fighting parents, Happy trailing behind me. The yelling got louder the closer I got, and I soon heard what my mother was saying. "Where is she Piermont?" she demanded.

"Still as demanding as always, aren't ya?" I spoke up and everyone turned to me. I could feel Happy come to stand behind me, not too close, but close enough for me to know that he was there. And I greatly appreciated it. "How you doin' mother?"

My mother, Mary, looked like she had seen a ghost. She went pale and looked me up and down to take me in. Then her expression turned thunderous, and she marched up to me. She raised her hand, and I knew exactly what she was going to do. With my training, it was easy for me to lean my head back to avoid her hand as she swung, and it passed by my face. Everyone looked shocked that she would try to slap me.

"Do you have any idea what you put us all through when you didn't come back?!" she shouted at me, ignoring my brother and Pop shouting at her.

I just narrowed my eyes at her. "I had every intention of coming back mother. I would never do that to any of the guys intentionally."

"But you would willingly do that to me?" she growled at me. "Is that it?"

I let out a mocking laugh. "When you never cared that I was there or not, I really didn't give you a thought."

"Okay, you two, that's enough," Opie tried to placate by walking to stand next to the both of us. "We don't need you to fight here."

"So, you don't care about your own mother?" she spat at me, ignoring Opie again. "You hate me that much?"

"I don't hate you," I scoffed at her suggestion, and she looked confused. "I don't love you either. I really don't have any feelings towards you. You were never there for me and would put me down all the time. Me not having any feelings towards you is better than me hating you."

I went to walk away, but her voice made me stop in my tracks. "Have you told them about why we fought?"

Turning around to her slowly, she had a haughty look, like she just won. I marched right up to her and got in her face. Opie put his arm out to separate us, and I felt someone grab my arm. I held fast in my spot. "You need to walk away old woman," I growled at her. "If you want to tell them what you thought you saw, go ahead. But be prepared for me to tell them what you used to tell me all the time when you would get drunk."

She looked at me startled as I kept going. "Don't forget that I have plenty of dirt on you. Whatever you say though, no one will believe a woman who abandoned her family and kids."

I stepped back and ripped my arm away from Happy, who was the one that had a hold of my arm. Turning to my Pop, I gave him a sarcastic look. "Thanks for calling her Pop."

I walked away, passing Happy and headed back to the garage. I could hear my Pop telling my mom to get lost. Getting back to the car I had been working on, I braced myself against the front of the car. I was being blocked from view of the others with the hood that was still up as I tried to breath deep and keep the tears from falling.

Living with my mother as a kid and young teen was horrible at the best of times. She would constantly put me down emotionally and mentally. It never mattered if she was drunk or sober. I tried to stay out of the house if she was drunk though. When she was drunk, she would get physically abusive, but never enough to cause any bruises. I swore to myself that I would never let anyone else treat me that way or make me feel worthless again. Especially after I had been kidnapped.

I got to work putting in a new alternator in the car to keep my emotions in check. I could hear someone come into the garage and lean against the wall, just watching me. I didn't look in their direction, but judging from the heat of the stare, it was Happy. After putting in the alternator, I wiped my hands on an oil rag and glanced up when footsteps approached me. His dark eyes met my brown eyes before nodding his head to the clubhouse.

I sighed in response, letting out a long breath. "You need to eat," he rasped out. "After everything that happened, you need to refuel."

"I'm coming," I muttered, and I followed him out of the garage and to the clubhouse as the others headed back to work.

*Coming Home*

It was the end of the day, and I had finished up with the car. Just as I was closing the hood, Opie, Jax and Tig all closed the bay doors. I looked around confused, especially at seeing everyone gathering around me. I looked over at my brother with a raised eyebrow. "What's going on?" I voiced when they all stayed quiet.

"You're going to answer some questions," my Pop answered. "Answers to some of the topics you have avoided."

"And what would those be?" I wondered with a heavy sigh.

"Why did you and Ma fight?" Opie started off and I glanced down at my hands. "Sav, we need to know the whole story. You've been here for over half a year. We deserve to know."

I looked up into his serious blue eyes, and I felt my resolve start to crumble a little bit. I tossed the oil rag over to the case with the tools and sat down on the hood of the car. "I wanted the Reaper," I announced, looking down at my hands to avoid everyone's eyes.

"What?" Jax's voice asked in disbelief.

I took a deep breath to gather my strength and looked up to give him a defiant stare. "I wanted to be a member of the Sons of Anarchy," I elaborated, and my father scoffed. "I managed to convince John to give me a chance and sponsor me when I turned eighteen. At that point, I would be a legal adult, and no one could say anything."

"You were supposed to go to college after high school," Pop growled, stepping forward. "That was the plan."

I scoffed and shook my head. "The plan was that I would prospect for a year, get in and then go to college. That was the one thing that John was adamant about. Most teenagers take a year between graduation and college anyway, but going was the only way that he would agree."

"But why would you want to be a member?" Bobby questioned in confusion.

I let out a loud sarcastic laugh. "You all aren't self-aware at all, are you?" I questioned with a glare at him. "As the daughter of one of the first nine members, I was off limits to any member in any charter. And when a guy outside of the club was brave enough to ask me out, he was chased off by all of you. If I was going to be alone, I might as well have made the time worth it. I just wanted to protect my family."

There was silence following my rant, and as I looked around, some seemed to be considering what I said. "And the fight with your mom?" Tig asked, shattering the silence.

"She walked in on the last conversation we had and heard him agree to sponsoring me," I explained. "She freaked out and kicked John out. Then she went in on me. Said that she wouldn't allow me to follow into the club life that she apparently tried to keep me out of. Even though he never had any high hopes for me anyway."

"What does that mean?" Gemma asked in concern.

I sighed, blowing out a breath slowly. I didn't want to tell them about anything, especially after they found out what I had been through. But I knew that Gemma especially wouldn't let it go until I answered her. "She used to say that I would never amount to anything but being a croweater whore," I told them, and all the boys looked shocked while Gemma only gasped. I looked down at my hands as I continued. "When she would get drunk was when things got bad. Slapping me and pushing me. She always made sure there was no bruises or at least make sure that no one could see them."

I heard a crash and looked up to see Opie had kicked a toolbox and stood there with a furious expression. Glancing around at the guys, they all were angry and sad. Taking a chance, I glanced over at Happy briefly. His face was neutral, but his dark eyes were darker than usual, and his hands were curled into tight fists.

I looked back at my brother before anyone could notice when he turned towards me. "Why didn't you say anything to anyone?" he growled, but I knew that it wasn't aimed at me. "Someone would have gotten you out of there."

Shrugging, I glanced down at my hands. "I guess I thought that things would get better," I said. "It never did, and our fight was mainly me having enough of her hypocritical bullshit."

Looking around the room, my gaze went to my Pop and brother. "Are we done?" I inquired. "Because I would like to go home."

"One more," Clay said, and I turned to him as he stood next to Gemma. He looked concerned, but I couldn't tell if it was because of what I had said or for my answer to his question. "When you were down in Mexico, you had all those privileges. Did you ever try to escape?"

I closed my eyes as he spoke. I had been hoping against hope that no one would ask me that. I stood and took my work shirt off and went to put it up. "Where are you going?" Tig asked as he came to stand in front of me, blocking my path. "You didn't answer the question."

"Because you don't want to know the answer to the question," I snapped at him in irritation. "The answer isn't as simple as you think it is."

"Then explain it to us!" Jax raised his voice as he walked over to me. I turned around to see him giving me a pleading look in his blue eyes as he put his hands on my shoulders. "We're your family Savannah. You can always tell us anything. You've kept this secret long enough."

My eyes stung as they watered at what he said, but also as my resolve came crumbling down. I knew that what I was about to tell them would shake them. Sighing, I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I tried to escape five times in the first six months," I answered him. "But I was caught each and every time."

"And they still let you have all those privileges?" Chibs questioned in confusion.

His question made a tear fall and I took another deep breath to keep the breakdown at bay. Wiping my cheek, I glanced at him before looking to my Pop and brother as I spoke. "I guess that they were hoping that I would behave. The fifth time that I tried to escape, they put me in an animal cage," I explained, my voice cracking. "After two days, they came back and said that if I didn't behave then they would come here."

"What are you talking about?" Jax asked looking concerned and confused. "Come where?"

Taking a shuddering breath, I looked him in the eyes. "They had pictures that were time stamped from that week."

"Pictures of what?" Bobby prompted when I didn't continue.

I threw my arms out and gestured around me. "Here. The garage, the clubhouse, everyone on the lot." They all looked shocked, and I turned my eyes to Gemma and Clay. "Gemma at the nail salon and at home. A few of the guys at Floyd's. Everyone at their houses. Donna."

Opie looked startled when I said his wife's name. A few more tears fell as I let out another shuddering breath. "It wasn't just Charming. They had pictures of other charters too. SAMTAC, SAMTAZ, SAMLIN, SAMDINO, Vegas, Phoenix, Reno. They even had a few of the Nomads, including Quinn. They would come back once every month with new pictures."

Everyone looked shaken that someone had taken pictures of them, and they had no idea about it. I placed my hand on Jax's shoulder as he shared a look with Clay. When he looked at me, I gave him a serious stare. "All I have ever done whether I am here in Charming or not, is protect this family. It's what I was taught and it's all I have done these past ten years.

"When the Hell Cats got me out, some of the cartel escaped. They helped me track them down the past five years to make sure that I could come home safely and not have to look over my shoulder for anyone. I burned all of the pictures so no one would come after any of you."

Everyone seemed to be in their own worlds, and I sighed deeply for what felt like the hundredth time. I patted Jax's shoulder and moved past Tig to put up my shirt. Grabbing my bag and keys, I closed my locker and walked towards my brother and Pop. I leaned up and kissed my brothers cheek first, then my Pops. "I will always protect this family," I announced as I glanced at Gemma and Clay, then I turned to Opie and Pop. "Whether you like it or not."

I then walked out of the garage through the office and onto the lot. I walked over to my car, unlocking it and getting in. Putting my forehead on the steering wheel, I took several deep breaths in order to keep the tears back. When I got myself together, I turned over the engine and drove home. I got to the house and walked slowly up to the door. I got the door unlocked and open when I heard a bike approaching.

Turning around, I saw Happy on his bike pull into my driveway. Walking over to my garage, I opened it and let Happy park in there. I went inside, closing the front door and met Happy in the kitchen where the door to the garage was. I would let Happy park his motorcycle in there when he would come over, that way none of the SONs would be able to see his bike. Emma and Anton knew about our relationship. Both of them had already interrogated him and he didn't even flinch, which was a good sign.

"What did you tell them?" I asked as I placed my bag on the kitchen table.

Happy came to stand beside me as he spoke. "Said that I needed to go," he rasped, and I closed my eyes at the sound. Something about the gravel in his tone was comforting to my frayed nerves. "But I said that I would make sure that you made it home."

I nodded as I wiped away a stray tear. "Do you have to go to another charter? Because if you do, you can go. I will be okay. I just need to have some time to myself."

He came closer that my shoulder met his chest. "I don't have to go for another two days," he whispered to me. Happy then pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. "If you have to cry, go ahead and cry. I'm not going anywhere until you feel better."

My eyes watered even more, and I buried my face in his chest as the sobs took over. My body shook as I cried and Happy tightened his hold on me. One of his arms held me across my back as his other hand took my hair out of its bun. He ran his hand threw my hair as he leaned his head on top of mine. We stood there, just holding each other as my crying slowed to a stop.

Once I'm done, I pull away from his chest and wipe at my cheeks to get rid of the tears. "I'm sorry," I whispered in a thick voice.

"What are you sorry for babe?" Happy asked in confusion. "There's no reason for you to be sorry."

I let out a shaky laugh as I wiped my eyes again. "I know that you're not one to talk about feelings," I said. "And dealing with me crying isn't something that you should want to deal with."

"It's not about what I want," he countered, and I looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. Happy's arms tightened around my waist. "It's about what you need. And right now, you need something to lean on. If I'm what you need to lean on, then so be it."

I gave him a watery smile and let out a choked breath. "I feel like I was reliving it. They made me feel like my every move would put my family's lives in danger. I always felt so broken, I still do."

"You're not broken," he growled. Happy cupped my face in his hands and forced me to look at him. "You're not broken," he repeated. "And you lived through it. We're all alive and that's what matters. I'm sorry that your brother and Pop brought it all up again, but they needed to know about it. I do partially agree with them, you can't keep those secrets in like this in or it'll destroy you."

I let out a watery laugh. "You don't like to talk much to anyone, but you can be very personable when you want to be." Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before trying to take a step back. However, Happy wrapped his arms back around my waist and held tight. "I'm okay now Happy."

He smiled at me with a certain look in his dark eyes. "I like holding you," he teased me, and I chuckled at him. "And I don't get to hold you very much around your family."

I smiled at him. "Do you want dinner?"

Happy leaned back. "I could eat."

We separated so I could get him a beer as I went to get food together. I made steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans while Happy just watched me and drank his beer. Once it was done, I dished it out and we ate in comfortable silence. We were both tired from the day and after putting the dishes in the sink to soak, we went upstairs. I led him to my bedroom and went to the adjoining bathroom with some clothes to change.

When I walked back into the bedroom in a large t-shirt and a pair of underwear, Happy was laying in my bed in just his boxers leaning against the headboard. His kutt was on my desk chair and his clothes were folded neatly on the desk next to his gun and knife. I smiled at him as I made my way to the bed. Happy smiled softly at me and scooted down to the pillow under the covers.

I got under the covers next to him and he pulled me to lay with my head on his chest. I snuggled closer, enjoying his warmth. "I got you babe," he whispered, but it sounded like a rasp, and it gave me goosebumps as a shiver went down my spine. Happy chuckled and I could feel the rumble in his chest. "Go to sleep. I'll still be here in the morning."

I yawned lightly before snuggling into his chest. "I'm glad that you're here Happy," I muttered.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard Happy whisper in my ear. "I'm glad that you're here too."