Previously:
He kissed me before kissing down my neck. At the crook, he whispered into my skin, "I'm sorry." Then, his teeth punctured my skin, and I could feel him drawing out my blood, drinking my life force. I was still in after-sex bliss and did not even mind if I was going to die. I was dying happy.
That is, until the fire started, and he pulled away to bite on the other side of my neck, both wrists and both thighs until finally, right above the heart.
He was changing me.
The burn spread throughout my body faster than I expected. I thought that I had a sense of what to expect, with the bite from James in Phoenix. But this, this was a million times worse than my wrist from that time.
I began to writhe and scream out; the pain more than I could manage quietly. A hand rested on my forehead, and I could barely make out words around me through the agony pounding and burning in my ears.
"I'm sorry, Isabella. I am so sorry you must deal with this. Remember your life. Remember your dad. Remember Charlie and how great of a man and father he was! Remember your friends and family. Focus on it. I am here. If you let me, I can take some of your pain away. Please, share this with me. You do not have to do this alone."
Jasper?
No. I could not let him take any of this pain. He had suffered more than his share in his existence. I would not let him even dare take an ounce of my pain. Stiffening up and letting a blood-curdling scream tear up my throat, I focused all energy I could to protecting Jasper from me.
Sound halted and the world stood still. I did not dare open my eyes, the pain still too great to let an ounce of control slip. But my mouth was now firmly shut. I focused on remembering as I had been directed by Jasper and previously Rose.
I thought of Charlie – dad. How he loved me so much he kept photos of me, even though I barely gave him the time of day until I wanted to move in with him. I remembered the fishing trips he tried to take me on. The dinners at the diner. His face as he cheered and whooped at my graduation as I walked across the stage to get my diploma. His face in his final moments as he protected me the only way he could from Victoria.
Rage at how he had died burned throughout me stronger than the flaming venom. I gripped my fists tight, and an overwhelming sensation covered me. It felt like a full body weighted blanket – similar to the lead protective vests used in x-rays. The weight soothed me and allowed the rage to subside some as I tried to think on other memories I didn't want to lose.
My mother and her flighty ways raced through my brain – one crazy shenanigan after the other. Me trying to protect her and take care of her.
My friends from school. Both in Arizona and in Forks. How friendly Angela was. How bubbly and annoying Jessica could be. The frustratingly persistent flirting of Mike and Tyler and Eric at the beginning there in Forks. How the severed heads of some of them rolled to my feet, blank eyes staring up at me – accusing me. I screamed.
Then, the Cullens and the cruel way that Edward had treated me. I focused on remembering how Carlisle, Esme and Alice all sided with him and did not truly understand me. I pulled all memories from when Edward and I had dated to when he left me alone in the woods, desperate and falling apart. How Alice came to get me to bring me to Volterra to save him. That Aro, Caius and Marcus, leaders of the Volturi had spared our lives but threatened that I had to be changed. But the memory of how Aro could not read me. The evil twin, Jane, could not hurt me. How Alice could not see me. How Edward could not hear me.
A smile spread as I gasped through the pain.
Jasper. His face and how me made love came next. The southern drawl he allowed out the more we were here, in Texas. How his brother, Peter, loved to annoy and fluster people. His mate Charlotte and her down-to-earth frankness and acceptance. Rose and Emmett with their history and friendship we are growing. The homestead we were at.
The homestead! It was a place to be protected. It was a place that Jasper managed to keep hidden from Alice and Edward and the rest of the Cullens, even after several decades with them. It was precious and a safe place.
But it was at risk. Peter said Volutri were coming. I had to protect this place.
The weighted blanket feel grew until I felt suffocated, and I thought perhaps the entire world was being flattened.
These thoughts continued on repeat, fluctuating between the various needs of people to protect and the anger and rage when remembering my dad's death and those of my friends from school to the sex I had with Jasper.
I love him!
With that thought, the pain evaporated, and the world was silent. My heart no longer beat, and I jumped out of bed. Focusing on the world around me, I was confused at what I saw.
The furniture was all toppled over, displaced or simply flattened and shattered. The walls appeared intact, along with the roof, but they were shimmering.
The dust in the air floated by my eyes and I got distracted, wondering at how much of it I could see.
"Isabella?"
The voice. That smooth, southern voice. It whispered out and wrapped around me and I purred. Turning towards the man that had spoken, I smiled and reopened my eyes that I did not remember closing.
Except the sight shocked me and I cried out.
"Jasper! What happened?!"
The blonde man was stuck, in the middle of the air. Floating but tightened up into a small space that he was having trouble in. He could only be described as uncomfortable. He shimmered though, like the walls and roof around me.
"Darlin'. I need you to stay calm like you are now. Breathe and focus. Pull back your shield. Gently."
I gasped out and ran to him, pulling him in my arms and out of the air. I sat down, uncertain what to do as he was still stuck in my shield, even though I held him in my lap.
Sobbing without tears, my eyes burning, I wailed, "I am so sorry! Did I hurt you? How long did I keep you trapped? Oh, I can't even change into a vampire correctly."
I was rocking back and forth with my frozen Jasper as he tried to calm me.
"Easy now. It's okay. You didn't hurt me. I'm still here. But I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths. Focus on my voice. Remember riding Nugget? Do you remember your first horse ride? How the flowers were in bloom in the fields and the wind whipped through your hair. The speed and freedom of letting the horse gallop wherever he wished to go. His herd, racing beside us. Whinnying and enjoying the freedom."
The memory was fuzzy at first, but as soon as I focused on it, it cleared. I relaxed as a smile captured my mouth with a soft sigh.
Suddenly, Jasper's strong arms wrapped around my waist, and I focused on him.
"Thanks, darlin', for releasing me. I will say, that was the most interesting 31 hours I have ever had." With that, we switched positions, him flipping me until I was in his lap. A small yelp escaped before I giggled.
"Still don't warn a lady, do you?"
"Not if it means I get to hear your laugh." I laughed again at that. "Now, what do we say about getting you fed."
At the mention of food, my throat burned, and I clawed at it with my hand, whimpering. Jasper stood to his feet, took my hands, and pulled me along behind him, out of the house. As we went, I noticed the whole house was still in a weird glow but most of the contents and furniture were destroyed. Just like my bedroom.
Once outside, we took off running into the fields. At first the sensation shocked me, the speed surprising while still being able to clearly see everything as if it were slowed down in time. I squealed as I jumped and leapt over a tree. When I landed, I clapped my hands together like a child and then proceeded to hop over all the trees that I could.
After 20 minutes, Jasper who had been leaning against a tree trunk chuckled. "Amazing you are. A newborn who forgets she has not had her first meal yet."
The reminder had me clutching my throat again and I took off on instinct. Not a sound was made as I weaved through the woods until I slowed. Closing my eyes, I focused on the heartbeat I could hear. My mouth filling with venom before I pounced.
The wolf did not even know it was dead until it had already happened. My teeth sinking into the animal's neck, blood shot out and dripped down my cheek and chin. When the blood was gone, I whimpered, not fully sated from the animal.
"I know. You will get used to the taste. And animals never quite fill you. Would you like to find more?"
Without looking his way or responding, I took off, needing more blood.
An hour later and after several more animals, I was covered in blood, mud, and dirt. As I looked down at myself, I realized I was still naked.
"I just hunt in the nude?"