Chapter 10 - Worship of Beauty in Disguise

"Are you sure what you saw? " asked Maidono Hoshimi, her gaze flickering towards the direction of the spiky-haired boy. "Your eyes—"

"I know what I saw," he interjected, interrupting her and releasing a sigh.

After that flare went off, a rescue team led by Maidono personally escorted them back to base. The two now found themselves in the opulent office of their fearless leader. The chair she offered him was as comfortable as it could be, yet that did little to ease his tension. The ordinary high school boy had been profoundly shaken at dawn.

Another person was present with them.

"Konori-san, confirm for me please," said Maidono, pacing in circles, anxiety evident in her voice.

Kamijou had the impression that he had met that glasses girl in the past, but when he tried to search his memories, he couldn't remember when, so he was probably wrong. Or maybe not... how strange.

"It's there," said Konori, pointing with her index finger at Kamijou's neck and surrounding areas. "There's no doubt about it, he's one of them."

That revelation should have unsettled him. In truth, he still harbored a faint glimmer of hope in the recesses of his mind, burning slowly. However, the coldness of those words extinguished it. He bit his lip and noticed, from his peripheral vision, that Maidono had mirrored the gesture.

"That's between us, understand, Konori-san? No one from our faction should know. Not even Tina-san."

It was the first time he had seen her speak so stiffly, she even seemed more shaken than he was. Maidono wasn't exactly close to Kamijou, no matter how anyone looked at it, but over the last few days, that was definitely changing. He had now not only fought against her, but by her side too, so it was safe for him to say that she already considered him to be someone important in her life. Her words that day in the hospital had already hinted at this, but now it all seemed more real, this girl really cared about him.

"Leave us alone," Maidono ordered, her eyes fixed on Kamijou's. She waited for Konori to leave before continuing. "The same goes for you, Kamijou-senpai. Don't tell anyone about this, not even your teammates."

"Yakumaru already knows, so is that really necessary?"

"I'll talk to her too."

Her response came with a certain rigidity, and regret lingered in her gaze as it shifted hesitantly. Recognizing this, the boy locked eyes with her, wearing the most serious expression he had ever given her.

He was about to ask her something that would also shake her.

"How much time do I have?"

The air passed his lips to form those words, but it was so soft that he hardly felt it. It was as though he were stepping into an ethereal, fantastical realm, his mind instinctively recoiling, yet he resisted. He settled into the chair that was supposed to comfort him and spoke once more.

"How long before I turn into a monster?"

Maidono only offered him silence.

The girl's index finger touched her temple, and after an expression of pain surfaced, she pulled a modern chair close to Kamijou, attempting to meet his gaze once more.

"I can't say," she replied seriously.

"Tell me the truth, Maidono, please."

The words flowed out automatically, driven by a past experience that made him realize that not knowing everything wouldn't contribute to solving the problem. If a solution existed, that is.

"Days," she replied, as if spitting up blood. "Weeks, depending on the stage of the infection. But no more than that."

"I see." Those simple words were accompanied by the slightest shake of the head and a quick glance at his right hand, which he raised to eye level.

As if Maidono had sensed something about to happen, she grabbed that fist and brought it down as if to disarm the boy.

"It's not the end yet," she assured him, taking a deep breath. "For now, occupy your mind with other things. You still have that Queen to kill, right?"

The mere mention of the word "Queen" made him tremble in place. Maidono gave him a serious look when he noticed the slight stagger.

"I'll help you with that," she continued. "I don't want to involve my faction in this but... considering your problem, I definitely can't just watch."

"You don't have to go that far."

"It's not a question of 'having.' You're a strong guy, but you can never have too much extra firepower. And... I think that will be productive."

"What do you mean?"

"What was that thing again? Magic?" She looked away for a moment, a slender finger now resting on her chin. "If something fantastic like that exists, it must surely be useful."

At this point, he barely had the strength to tell her to stay back, or maybe he actually wanted her to help him? They say there are sides to you that you only discover in desperate situations, and although that wasn't the case, Kamijou Touma put a faint smile at the corner of his mouth and decided to embrace that false feeling.

What else could he do?

"Can I go now?" he asked.

"Of course." She held out her hand to stop him when he stood up. "Hey, don't give up, okay?"

He wouldn't.

x-2-x

The corridors of their base now seemed more like a blur, something extra and unnecessary in his vision since his mind was more concerned with making sure he felt that cold sensation right there, like icy hands gripping his spine. The parasite that was changing his body little by little had been agitated during the day, but now that night had fallen, the feeling of numbness was at least easing little by little.

"Oh, I found ya!"

Kamijou raised his head to see his teammate walking towards him down the wide corridor.

"Hey, Yakumaru-san." He looked around, dodging the stream of people heading towards the stairs. That was his subtle way of saying that he didn't want to be bothered right now. "Where are the others?"

At this time of night, everyone should have already received their missions, but considering the number of people there, they were still packing their supplies before heading out into the cold night.

"They're already on a mission," she replied. Her expression turned somber for just an instant.

Now that Kamijou stopped to think about it, he realized that the others used to embark on far more missions than Yakumaru. Even that day in the kitchen, the only reason Naru hadn't gone with them was because she was the one primarily interested in his food, but that wasn't the case with the girl standing in the hallway, clutching her elbow with an air of nervousness.

"Did you say you were looking for me?" he asked, trying to change the awkward atmosphere. "If it's about... that..." He subtly gestured towards his own eyes.

His eyes no longer had that sinister gleam, just their usual dark blue. That meant the infection wasn't advanced enough yet.

"No... it's just..." Yakumaru displayed her palms, taking a deep breath as if mustering her courage. Her hand moved to her utility belt. "Here, I want you to have this."

In her outstretched hand, she presented a well-worn circular metal container, its surface bearing signs of meticulous polishing for enhanced visual appeal.

"I considered wrapping it, but... just take it!" She pressed the item into his hands, averting her gaze.

Kamijou carefully opened the object, his inquisitive eyes subtly shifting between the girl and the bestowed gift. Upon unscrewing the cap, he immediately noticed the sticky, transparent substance inside, prompting a faint smile to grace his features. It was a rare find amid the events of the day.

"Is that hair gel?" The boy smeared his fingertips to test the consistency and took a whiff to confirm. "How did you manage to get this?"

"My powers." Yakumaru's facial muscles even seemed to relax when she noticed the smile on the boy's face. "The only thing that makes you different from the average person is that weird spiky hair, so I thought you'd like to keep your 'individuality'. No one wants us to start mistaking you for any random boy on the street."

"Very funny, Yakumaru-san."

"Thanks, I'm great," she said, throwing her hair back in a rather arrogant way. Yes, she had decided to let her hair down today. Kamijou appreciated that.

"Anyway, thanks for the gift. Unfortunately, I have nothing to give you in return."

"Really? What am I going to do now? I've spent hours adjusting the consistency and quality." Yakumaru put her hand to her forehead dramatically. "So much work... and for what? Just to get a mere 'thank you' and nothing more. I knew I should have done something for Seike-kun instead."

Sometimes, Kamijou couldn't tell if that meant she was more comfortable in his presence, or if it was the other way around. In Kamijou's case, he certainly felt less nervous in her presence.

At this thought, the boy sighed, his hand now clutching that object with unnecessary strength, as if it were the edge of a precipice, and if he let go, everything would come to an end.

Then he allowed his mouth to move and said something that was necessary at that moment.

"Yakumaru." Kamijou raised his head, that serious tone making the girl look at him with narrowed eyes. "Would you mind if I shared one more secret with you?"

Yakumaru tilted her head, a strange smile appearing on that cute face.

"Oh, so you thought of something like compensation, huh?"

x-3-x

"You can come in and make yourself at home," said Yakumaru, opening the door to her room.

The space, although compact, was organized in a way that made it seem larger. Benches glistened with vials of multicolored fluids that reflected the essence of a personal laboratory, Kamijou not knowing exactly where to focus with so much going on. There were also meticulously organized notebooks, full of equations and annotations, sharing space with weathered volumes of poetry, their pages stained with ink scribbles.

Kamijou was impressed, but for the wrong reasons. The place wasn't exactly what he had expected, and the first thing that seemed so out of place was the size of the room. Why was there so little space here?

Even that arrangement didn't make things much better, that place barely had half the space his room had, and that seemed worse considering the extra things she had in there. If he remembered correctly, Naru's room was almost as big as his, but if this girl was also part of the elite, she was expected to have something better.

"I know what you're thinking," said Yakumaru as she settled onto the bed in the corner of the room. "Not everyone is privileged in this world."

Those words held a deeper significance, but Kamijou couldn't discern the underlying meaning. He stood in silence, observing her as she lay down, positioning herself close to the wall.

Yakumaru gestured with her hand to attract attention.

"Come here," she said, her voice much quieter than usual. "There's nowhere to sit, so we'll have to use my bed."

"Um... I can stand."

"Come on, I invaded your 'bed' that time, so it's only fair that you do the same."

Perhaps he'd reconsider under different circumstances, but fatigue overwhelmed him, and the bed seemed irresistibly inviting, even though it was too small for two people. God, it was already too cramped for just one.

"Don't you think that's... strange?" he asked, sitting down on the bed as if he were testing the water in a swimming pool with his hands before diving in.

"You said you wanted to tell me a secret, but you don't feel close enough to lie in the same bed as me. Am I missing something here?" She tugged him, making him lie down abruptly. "Things only get weird if you think about it too much. Does your teenage mind get stimulated by literally anything? Boys."

Their proximity made him feel his breathing become more ragged, and his pulse had certainly quickened too. Of course, there was room for the two of them not to have any skin touching, but that was all. It was a bit uncomfortable, though...

He laid his head down and tried to relax, but his eyes focused on the ceiling above him, something he hadn't done before. How had he missed that?

"Beautiful, don't ya think?" she asked when she saw his reaction, a giggle echoing around the room.

A starry sky.

Again, he didn't know how he hadn't noticed. Of course, the entire ceiling was painted a deep black, but only the part closest to the wall where the bed was leaning had those stars drawn in such a surreal way that he seemed to have traveled to another place. This effect was magnified by the dim, comfortable light, and the paint was fluorescent, highlighting the realistic painting.

"I made it myself," she continued, her hand reaching as if to touch that painted sky, or perhaps the real one concealed beyond. "It's not finished yet, but who knows, maybe one day."

"Is it an accurate representation?"

"Yes. It's the Centaurus constellation, but it was originally supposed to be the Sagittarius, but I left it alone. By the way, what's your sign?"

"Aquarius." He shrugged nonchalantly. The horoscope was never accurate for him. "Are you all obsessed with the zodiac or something?"

"No, just Naru. We just like teasing her."

Yakumaru paused, creating a makeshift monocle with her fingers to focus on the stars above her.

"That's 'Proxima Centauri'," she said. "It's actually the closest star to us, apart from the sun of course. Approximately 4.2 light years away."

"Yeah, I know. Strange that the nearest one is still so far away. It makes you think how insignificant this planet is compared to the rest of the universe."

"Don't go having an existential crisis; it's not a good time considering your situation."

Upon hearing that, an icy sensation slid down his spine again. Even the bed seemed extremely uncomfortable now.

"Sorry, bad joke... and a bit too soon," she apologized, turning her body to face him. As her soft breath drew closer, she continued, "So, about that secret..."

"Um... first, I want to ask you something. At that time, at dawn, you spoke as if you were already suspicious."

"As I mentioned, things were starting to become obvious," her words were accompanied by a sigh. She played with a glass vial between her fingers, distorting the image between them as she examined it closely. "It makes sense about that cryo-sleep thing now."

"What do you mean?"

"Cold." She blew on the vial, causing it to suddenly fog up. "PBs hate the cold. We've mentioned it to you before, I believe. There's no way you could have been recently infected, unless you've found a way to hide it."

"I haven't."

"So the only option left is..." Her hesitation hung over them, creating an awkward silence. "You're not only a Shattered, but you're one of the first of them. Perhaps the very first. Your memories are strange, so it's safe to assume that you were infected before the world became like this, but you've forgotten."

"And that cryogenic chamber delayed my transformation." Almost instinctively, he brought his right hand up to his neck but pulled back as if repelled by a magnetic force. "There's no way of removing that thing, I imagine."

"If the problem were just removing it. It's connected to your nervous system, Kamijou, and it's a living thing. If it were that simple, we wouldn't be killing Shattereds on sight."

The way she looked at him now, other than through the transparent vial, was of someone who didn't quite know what to say. Most people struggle to find the right words when faced with someone who has lost a loved one or is terminally ill. At that moment, Kamijou felt as though he belonged to both categories, yet the girl was valiantly trying to avoid making the situation more awkward.

Yakumaru reclined on her back, fixing her eyes once again on the artificial stars above, one eye closed, the other focused through the transparent glass.

"If only things were that simple," she whispered, then set the vial aside. "Kamijou, have you ever stopped to think that things are sometimes not what they seem?"

"Sometimes, but why the question?"

"Remember what I said? Proxima Centauri is more than 4 light years away from us, which means that if one day it simply ceases to exist, for whatever reason, we won't know for another four years. That time is even longer for other stars."

Kamijou had heard this kind of curiosity before, but he couldn't fathom why the girl had brought it up at this particular moment. As she lingered in silence, closing her eyes, he sensed it was an opportune time to address what he needed to do.

His heavy breathing gradually steadied, though it proved to be no easy task.

"Yakumaru. Up on top of that building... I had a 'fight' with the White Queen."

"Yeah, I thought so. But she got away, didn't she? Thanks for saving our lives. It was quite a chance you had there, I mean, if anyone can kill that thing, it has to be you, doesn't it?"

Without meaning to, Kamijou bit his lip at that moment. His chest tightened, causing physical pain as if something was breaking within.

"Even if I could, I wouldn't," he said, earning a strange look from the girl watching the stars.

"Huh? That's kind of a change of gear. It was you yourself who said that wanted to find a way to put an end to all this, wasn't it? Not that I think killing that thing is going to solve all our problems anyway."

"It's not a thing."

Only after saying this did he realize a slight irritation, and the girl even narrowed her eyes, unsure of what was amiss.

"Kamijou... about that secret. What did you see there?"

There was no turning back; he let the words slip out of his mouth.

"My friend," he murmured, too quietly, but the girl was so close that he couldn't escape her hearing. "The White Queen is the person I'm looking for... Index... she's the leader of these things."

Yakumaru's face became indecipherable. Her mouth moved, but no words emerged; the shock was so profound that her words seemed to get stuck halfway. She blinked a few times, as if waiting for the boy to elaborate, her gaze locked on his.

"It doesn't make sense," she finally said, her head shaking from side to side in denial. "Is the White Queen really a person? A flesh and blood person, like you and me? Not an unbeatable creature that even number one had trouble facing? Kamijou, you..."

Whatever she wanted to say, she gave up when she looked at the boy's face. What kind of expression did he have there?

"I'm sorry, I guess I was a bit insensitive just now."

"No need to worry about it," he replied, glancing away and subtly distancing himself. "It's surreal, isn't it? I've only got a few days left before I transform into a monster, and that's not even the worst part." Kamijou stared at his right hand, the perpetual source of his misfortune. "It feels different when it's not just me."

Yakumaru had no way of knowing exactly what he was talking about, but Kamijou admired her for trying to respect what he was feeling at that moment. Despite learning that he was a Shattered, essentially a walking dead man who could pose a threat at any moment, she never exhibited a negative reaction. In the end, that petulant girl was kinder than he expected.

"Things aren't always what they seem," he said, for the first time turning fully towards her, lying on his side on the bed.

"Yeah, they're really not." She mimicked his gesture, which brought their faces closer than ever. "Hey, you don't mind if I tell you a secret too, do you? Actually, it's not really a secret, since someone has probably figured it out by now, but I don't usually talk about it with anyone."

"Go ahead."

"Remember when I said I was working on a tight budget? Well, I didn't lie."

"Yeah, I realized that. It would be nice if you prepared better next time, your skills are very useful."

It was a sincere compliment, but it only served to push the girl away from him. Once more, she reclined on her back, her gaze fixed on the fluorescent painting overhead.

"I don't think you understand, I meant that I'm working with a limited budget. Always."

"Hmm?"

Yakumaru shut her eyes; her breath had abruptly hastened. Even from the corner of his eye, he observed her lips stiffening, forming a perfect, straight line.

"My esper ability is called Mix Master. With it, I can separate liquids by manipulating their specific gravity. It's a useful skill, but all I can do is mix what's already there, I can't create matter out of nothing. That wouldn't be a problem in the normal world, but this isn't a normal world. Resources are more precious than people, remember?"

The boy wasn't sure what to say, so he remained silent, but nodded as she sought some kind of refuge by looking at him.

"Our faction isn't that big," she continued, "which limits what we can use. A skill like mine that consumes resources every time it's used isn't ideal."

"I still think it's a good skill."

"No... it's completely useless."

The attempt to reassure her failed, so much so that she shook her head as she sighed wearily. Something told Kamijou that it was better if he let her continue.

"I'm a part of the elite team here." A self-deprecating smile broke the rigidity on the girl's face. "It's kind of funny, don't ya think? Naru and Seike boast incredible skills that turn them into frontline monsters, Leader wields impressive support abilities, and you can literally destroy those things with your bare hands without breaking a sweat. When you compare it to the real elites, the dreamy girl here who can only throw random things while emptying the faction's coffers is completely…" She paused, the peculiar smile fading. "I can't even label myself as useless. At best, I'm a liability."

Kamijou found himself speechless once again. Was that why her room was so modest? It was still an improvement over the communal spaces, but it felt unjust, even after hearing her story. He couldn't see her ability as inferior to his, but he understood it's all about perspective. And come to think of it, was that the reason the girl had chosen to treat him so coldly?

It made sense.

Someone appears out of nowhere with a power that seems incredible, and becomes close to her teammates, especially her best friend, almost instantly because of this mysterious power. How would he feel in her place? It was as if someone was stealing what little sparkle she still had, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I think you understand now," she continued, after a few awkward seconds of silence. Her voice was so tired now. "I'm a fake. Just like one of those stars in the future, my shine has long since faded, but people continue to admire this beautiful illusion, without realizing that there's nothing else behind it. Elite, eh? Only in the minds of people who don't know the whole story."

Her words hung heavily in the air, casting a tangible tension between them. She sighed, and with that exhalation, the weight of her secret lay bare, revealing her vulnerability. The petulant, sarcastic facade of the girl seemed to evaporate, exposing the authentic face behind the mask, the true essence that remained once all the pretense was stripped away.

What she had told him in his apartment made a lot more sense now. Someone who felt useless in this desolate world, a pathetic existence who sank into her own stories, desperately trying to keep her mind occupied in a fantasy world, because the one she inhabited rejected her.

Kamijou felt an unwarranted sense of inadequacy, as if he were not the right person for her to confide in. But even so, he wanted to be there for her. Yet, he questioned whether merely being present was the extent of his capability.

"But..." Kamijou managed to muster the strength to speak. He couldn't just watch as that girl hurt herself like that. "Your skill isn't just about direct combat, right?"

"I understand what you're trying to do, but it won't work. Yes, I can focus on other areas, but that's not what Mai-sama expects of me."

"Then change her expectations."

Once again, the boy turned towards her, patiently waiting for her to approach him. Their faces drew close on the narrow bed, and despite its peculiarity, he found himself surprisingly at ease with the proximity.

"I can talk to Maidono," he suggested, his tone infused with a touch of enthusiasm, attempting to instill a sense of optimism in her. "There must be people out there in need of medicine or anything else you can create with your powers. If I ask her to allocate more resources to you, but this time, focusing on your creativity rather than combat, I believe your ability could become a valuable asset for this faction."

"Would you do that for me? I know that you and Mai-sama have quite a history and that she trusts you, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't invest your chips in this pathetic girl."

"Don't talk like that." His hand moved instinctively, initially aiming for her face, but he hesitated, realizing it wasn't appropriate. "You saved our lives in that chaotic fight. There's nothing pathetic about it."

"It was more of a team effort really, almost anyone in this faction—"

"It doesn't matter," he interrupted her, before she sank any further. "You were the one there. You offered to help, and that's exactly what you did. I couldn't have done it without you, so let me do this for you as a thank you."

These might not have been the most eloquent words he had ever uttered. True, they wouldn't miraculously solve her emotional struggles, make her stronger, or bring back the lost glow. But still...

"You're a piece of work, ya know that?" she said with a smile, a genuine one this time. "I asked you to take care of Naru since she's worth more, but here you are, trying to take care of me too."

"Wait, is there a rule that says I can only save one person at a time?"

"Save?" Yakumaru was momentarily confused but decided to focus on his blue eyes. She even straightened her hair, tucking a messy strand behind her ear. "You're a strange person. I kind of like that."

"Huh?"

"I don't think I mind sharing your attention with her. But can I ask for a little more, or would that be selfish of me?"

Only now did Kamijou realize that she had leaned towards him, her warm and now calm breath caressing his face, and he could even hear her heart racing slightly.

The momentary trance that Kamijou had entered while concentrating on that girl suddenly ended. A loud noise came from the wooden door of that cramped room.

"Strange," said Yakumaru. "Naru and the others are on a mission, so maybe it's Kongou-san?"

She got out of bed, which for some reason made him both relieved and disappointed, although he didn't know exactly why.

Kamijou looked at her answering the door, now sitting down, feeling the back of his neck with his left hand. Something was moving there, he was sure. If he didn't close his eyes and calm down, that sudden revulsion would make him vomit.

"Kamijou, you have a visitor."

Yakumaru's voice had sounded distant, fragmented like radio static. On autopilot, the boy rose to approach the door, suppressing the feeling of repulsion that had gripped him earlier. His expression shifted to one of surprise as he discerned the identity of the person standing in the doorway.

It was a girl. The rigid countenance on her lovely face eased as he drew nearer, the hand she had on her waist now not the only one she had.

"I finally found you, what a drag," said the girl, crossing her arms, her serious gaze locked on his.

"Mugino-san?"

"Why the surprise?" The level 5 with tea-colored hair took a step towards him. "I hope you're not busy, we have a queen to slay."

Hey there, readers. Not much happened in this chapter, it was more of an epilogue to the mini-arc that was going on. Here I reveal more of how Yakumaru feels about herself in this world, a continuation of that scene in 'Kamijou's bed', but here the situation is reversed. The point of view is completely the opposite now, instead of hearing what she thinks through the narrative, we hear it through Kamijou's ears now.

As for Kamijou himself, the situation is complicated. He's working on a time limit now, and on top of that, he has to find a way to save his friend before the worst happens. And don't forget that he's committed to helping Hamazura too. What a situation, eh?

Now on to the reviews:

5had0wHand: Welcome back. What happened to Hamazura will be revealed almost completely in the next chapter. And also what happened to Takitsubo. I'm glad you liked their connection and also Yakumaru's dream. Thanks a lot, I'll try to keep it that way.

Trjz: Thank you too. Basically, it was better explained here.

Jaya2002: The symptoms are more subtle (apart from the eyes glowing constantly in advanced stages), but I may make some reference to this in the future.

Zatil Hidayah Spensa: Yeah... the big problem here is that I have no idea what Kamachi is cooking up in regards to Anna. New freeloader perhaps?

Spark: Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Nicko2545: That's fine, lol. Well, Kamijou has to keep the promise made by his other self from the past. Thanks for the compliments.

Guest: Did I take you by surprise? I'm glad you liked it overall.

5queso: Sometimes I wonder if those who follow all my stories already expect a twist to happen at any moment, lol. It's great to hear that you found it so interesting. I'll keep working hard, thank you very much.

Dasgun: :)

BlueJack22: That's a really misfortunate moment, don't you think? But he's the kind of person who works best under pressure. Let's hope.

See you next time!

By the way, I wonder if anyone has noticed the "gimmick" in my chapter titles. Oh, and I think someone noticed something strange about all this talk of "dead stars". Yes, I know. I'm trying to slow down the pace of the story a little, but don't expect too many quiet moments. That's all I have for you for now. Moon leaving.