Author Notes: Thanks for the kindness in following along with this story and for those who have shared their thoughts.

This chapter is still a bit angsty (shocking I'm sure) but softer angst. Emma has a nice long conversation with Henry. Lots of feels.

This wasn't as hard (nor as cathartic) to write as the prior chapter but hopefully has been handled well. I tend to overthink a bit. Let me know what you think. :)

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Chapter 14: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

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"Hi Ma," Henry offered softly as he approached and sat down next to Emma. She was sitting on a bench in the gardens staring blankly in front of her. Had Henry not known any better he would imagine her stoic features meant she was fine. But he did know better.

He tried again to garner a reaction, settling on humor to gain her attention, "I know you have a lot you're dealing with right now, but your son did come through a portal to see you." Gently, he placed a hand on hers.

Emma looked up at her son, acknowledging his presence with barely masked surprise. "Henry," she quickly wiped down her face and attempted to school her features more, likely to try and hide the fact that she'd been crying. She managed a tight lipped smile. "It's been too long kid."

Henry returned her expression with an understanding grin of his own. One mother brooded and the other exploded with emotions. Henry wouldn't have them any other way.

He gently squeezed her hand. "You know, I'm not a kid anymore…"

"You'll always be 'kid' to me, Hen." Emma interceded earning her a raised eyebrow and a side grin in response.

"Be that as it may," Henry scratched at his five o'clock shadow as if to not so subtly emphasize his age, "you don't have to hide or pretend for me anymore." He sized up his blonde mother before continuing, "What happened between you and Snow..." Henry purposely didn't refer to her by her familiar honorary of grandma. "She was wrong, Ma."

Emma looked away, unable to stop more tears from flowing down her face and not wanting the kid to see them. Old habits die hard apparently. While factually it was true that he was an adult now, her heart would always strive to protect him as her kid, it was part of how she had tried to make peace with letting him go as a baby. Her penance if you will.

"It is ok to feel… well, whatever you're feeling. Angry, sad, hurt, betrayed…" Henry's words trailed off.

They sat in silence for a bit; Henry still with his hand resting on hers. He looked at the tree sitting in front of them and contemplated the fact that it was an apple tree. It was apropos that his blonde mother had chosen this particular bench to sit on with such a perfect view of his other mom's favorite garden addition.

He wondered briefly if they would ever get their act together, then realized that perhaps now they stood a chance. If what had transpired was true and there had been a curse keeping them apart... One cast by his grandmother, her fairy godmother, and his grandfather on his dad's side… God his family tree was weird and his family member's choices even weirder. Regardless, perhaps now they stood a chance.

If they could get out of their own way that is.

Perhaps he could help move things along. He had matured a bit past employing another operation (or so he hoped). He understood the complexities of relationships a bit more now than he had when he was ten, though Lucy might disagree. He would proceed delicately and with more finesse than in the past. Jacinda was probably rolling her eyes somewhere.

Leaning forward he began to share the thoughts circling in his mind. "Having a kid didn't make me any smarter. As cliche as it sounds, I really didn't wake up as Lucy's dad and suddenly have all the answers. When I was younger, though, I didn't know that. I used to think once you were a parent you somehow just knew everything." Henry chuckled at the black and white thinking of his youth.

"I'm sure it didn't help having Regina for your mother." Emma offered half jokingly, looking down at her hands for a moment.

"Exactly," he smiled. "I still sometimes wonder if she knows almost everything,"

"I'm sure she would disagree with the almost." Emma responded with a muffled chuckle.

While not her usual jovial response when picking on the former mayor, Henry would take the small glimmer as an improvement.

"Probably. She's a bit more open now and honest with both me and herself." Henry's head turned in contemplation, "when I was younger, she wasn't as open or self aware."

"I think she was just so scared of losing you." Emma whispered. She could relate. Over the years she had often been afraid of losing his affections or that of her family. It was partly what had led her into this mess. She had married Hook in part in a misguided attempt to feel loved, or at least chosen, and to make her parents happy. That train of thought brought with it a wave of fear. Would she really never be able to experience true love with Regina due to a stupid curse cast by her own mother? She frowned and sighed down at her hands.

"Yeah, I know that… now." Henry frowned at the sigh, intuiting that his mom had once again gone back to her ruminations. Wanting to pull her back into the moment, he continued to speak, hoping it would help in some way, "I didn't as a kid. Back then when I discovered that she was lying to me, well, I got it in my head that she was… bad."

Emma nodded, smiling a little, still gazing at Regina's apple tree. Both she and Henry had long ago stopped using the word "Evil" to describe Regina. Despite everything she was currently dealing with, it still made her happy that her son was so considerate towards his mom. They had all come a long way.

Noticing his mother's contemplation of his words, Henry continued to share his thoughts, "I had way too much black and white thinking as a kid." He shook his head at the memory, "Back then I figured if mom was bad because she was a villain, then that meant you, because you were the "hero," well then you must know it all."

Emma snorted in response.

"Yeah, exactly! You kind of threw a wrench into that belief pretty quickly." Henry smiled cheekily at his Ma, who smirked in response.

"Gee, thanks kid," she responded sarcastically, though not disagreeing with the sentiment, it wasn't like she could really argue with him.

Seeing her spirits improving, he continued to tease, "I mean, you made some weird calls, Ma. It made me start to question my logic… like spaghetti-o's for breakfast?" Henry pushed her shoulder and laughed, still keeping his gaze facing forward to allow her the space to feel her emotions even when he spotted from the corner of his eye that she had turned partially to scoff at him.

"That was a delicious idea, I'll have you know." Emma pushed his shoulder back with hers as she fully turned around to face him. "And a nutritious breakfast."

"Mom there isn't a hint of nutrition in that stuff." Henry rolled his eyes, smiling though.

"It's made with tomatoes." The blonde countered enjoying the temporary reprieve her son offered her.

"I'm pretty sure the massive amounts of salt in that can removed any possible benefits of one fruit passing itself off as a vegetable." Henry beamed happy to see his mom re-emerge and pick with him.

"Regina ruined you from childhood staples."

"As a parent I can now admit she gave me a great foundation for eating healthy," Henry smirked, "but I'll always be fond of pop tarts thanks to you."

Emma's smile, in response to that admission, was genuine. She enjoyed the brief moment of respite before crashing back down to the reality of the situation.

"I know being a parent means making mistakes, Hen. I made enough with you. So did your mom." Glancing around briefly she whispered, "don't tell her I said that."

Henry chuckled then crossed his heart.

"She made up for them though. She worked so hard to do right by you and to fix her mistakes." The blonde rubbed at her cheeks to finally dry them. She wanted to be done with the tears.

"She did." He agreed.

"The thing about Regina, she always, always put you first Henry. Her choices were based on what was best for you. Hell, she even allowed David to take care of you when she realized that at that time she wasn't what was best for you." Emma paused and took a steadying breath.

He nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"It wasn't like that with my parents. They never once made a choice or a decision based on what was best for me. It was always what was best for them, or the town, or their people. It was never about what I would want or choose for myself." Emma shook her head as she mentally stacked all of Snow and Charming's choices on a scale and it tipped far too far away from her. "Now this. My mom took away my free will. She, and Blue, and Gold imposed their own version of a "happy ending," on, not only me, but on Killian, and Robin, and your mom."

Henry squeezed her hand, unable to imagine having his choices taken from him. As a child he had seen Snow and David as infallible. They were heroes after all. Now as an adult he saw how their decisions were fraught with one sided thinking.

He had his moms and his wife to thank for helping him expand his view of the world. Jacinda had been a big influence in helping him understand the value of seeing other sides to situations and learning to question the legitimacy and impartiality of the decisions of those in positions of power. He was pulled from his musings of gratitude when Emma continued.

"Whenever there was even a tiny risk to your safety Henry, your mom would be in front of you, protecting you. You were, you are, everything to her." Emma allowed one sole tear to escape her eye and roll down her face untouched. "I never had that from my parents. I've always been their Saviour, but they've never been mine. It was never about what they could do for me but what I could do for them."

Not knowing what else to say, Henry simply shared how he felt, "I'm so sorry mom."

"Regina even… she let you go to protect you, Henry. Not just once either. She always put you first." Emma shook her head and wiped away more tears. "I've learned so much from her about what it means to be a good mom. And not just what she gave me, what she gave us, in New York."

Henry knew. Both how much New York had meant to Emma and how hard it had been for his other mom. He and Regina had discussed her feelings at length during their time together exploring together. He also knew how much Emma had wished they could go back to New York. She had spoken so much about leaving Storybrooke and returning to their life there. He knew deep down if it hadn't been for his insistence they stay, she probably would have skipped town at the first opportunity.

Regina had even mentioned that she and Emma had argued about them returning. Now he wondered if her anger had been about more than just the thought of Henry leaving. There was also the fact that Robin had been in the picture then. Perhaps there was more to Emma's desire to leave too. He didn't have time to go too far down that rabbit hole, as his blonde mother continued speaking, pulling him from his train of thought.

"Growing up, kid, I always wanted a family. I, I think that's why I moved forward with Hook, even though all the warning bells were going off in my head..." she sighed, "I just… wanted to be part of a unit, I wanted to be wanted. It felt good. Even if I wasn't really loved for who I was, I was still accepted as someone who… made the whole better than just its parts…" Emma looked at Henry with a sad lopsided attempt at a smile. "I don't know if I'm making any sense, kid."

"I think I understand, Ma." Henry responded reaching up to squeeze her shoulder gently. "You know you are part of something more already right? Maybe not in the traditional sense, but you have me and Hope. Plus Lucy and Jacinda. We're your family and we love you, not because you're the Saviour but just because you're you."

"Henry…" the blonde started to respond before her son held up his hand to stop her.

"No, really. I know that I may not have made that clear to you when I was younger." He frowned remembering how much he had focused on her role instead of the wonderful woman who turned out to be his mom. "I put a lot of pressure on you to break the curse. I was so focused on the curse and you're role as the Saviour and proving mom wrong that I got caught up in it all and I… I didn't understand. I know better now." Henry bit his lip and searched his mother's eyes, hoping he was conveying this right. "While I'm proud of you, I don't want you to think that that is the reason I love you; it's not. What you accomplished is amazing, and you're amazing, but it's not why I love you."

Henry paused, making sure he captured her gaze. Gently resting his hand on top of hers, he continued. "I love you because you're you. Not because of anything you did. I love how you try so hard and always have, whether you succeeded or not. The outcome never mattered. I love that you didn't leave me. You could have. I know that first year, when I was so wrapped up in the story book and ending the curse, you could have left so many times. But you didn't. You never left us, even though I'm sure there were a lot of times you really wanted to."

Emma blushed and looked down briefly, unsure how to respond, but when she felt her son squeeze her hand in comfort she looked back up, recapturing his gaze. He smiled softly at her.

"I love how you were, how you are, always there for me. And just like mom, you were there, even when you couldn't physically be there." Henry looked away for a moment lost in thought, remembering one of the hardest times of his childhood. Unintentionally, he spoke that thought aloud, "it was really hard when you took on the darkness."

"I'm so sorry about Violet, Henry." Emma interrupted. It spilled out of her before she realized it.

"I know, Ma. Mom and I talked a lot when we were exploring together. She explained a lot about the pull of the darkness and how it warps your sense of right and wrong." Henry shrugged and pushed her shoulder with his. "It hurt then, but I've been through a lot worse. It worked too. You got Merlin out of that tree."

"The ends don't justify the means, kid." Emma sighed. "I purposely hurt you."

"And I hurt you with my dad." Henry countered. "He let you take the fall for him and then left you in prison as a kid. I didn't get that then but I understand how sh-crappy that was. I know I put you and mom against each other and then you and dad." Henry sighed, mirroring his blonde mother. "I'm sorry too."

"You were a kid." Emma shrugged it off. "Rebelling against your parents is par for the course, or so I'm told. It was probably also a little karma from my complete disregard of Regina that first year." Emma rolled her eyes and smiled at the memory, before getting serious again. "Guess I just feel blessed I got to experience that - your rebellious years. I never thought I'd get to be a parent to you at all and then I got my chance. Even the hard times were worth it kid. Being able to be your mom is worth all that and more."

Henry smiled cheekily, "bet you can't wait to see how Hope rebels?" He joked.

"She's already a handful. Just like her brother." The sheriff teased back.

"She's lucky to have you, Ma. Just like I am. You and mom always made sure I felt loved and wanted. Despite what you both went through with your own parents. Even in Neverland, I knew you both would find me, I wouldn't be forgotten or abandoned."

"But… I failed you so many times, Henry." Emma's voice broke on her son's name, tears streaming down her cheeks in response to her son's heartfelt words. "I messed up. I gave you away!"

"You never failed me." Henry shook his head and interrupted her when he saw her start to protest, "You put me first. Just like Mom. You did what was best for me," Henry wiped the tears from his mother's face, "even though it had to be unbelievably hard for you, you chose to give me my best chance."

She sobbed at that, hugging him tightly, and whispering, "I'm so so sorry, Henry. I never wanted to let you go."

"I know, Ma," he hugged her tighter, "I understand why you did it. As a parent now I can't imagine how hard that decision was for you to make."

"It was awful," she hiccupped, pulling back and wiping at her tears. "I couldn't even look at you, kid. I knew I would break if I did. They took you and I couldn't… I didn't even hold you, Henry. You were wanted though kid, please don't ever doubt that, despite everything, I knew I couldn't take care of you. I had nothing and no one and I was in prison, but I still wanted you…I am sorry I couldn't be the mom you needed."

"That's the thing, Ma, you are the mother I needed and still need. You gave me my best chance. You gave me the other mom I also needed and who needed me… and who also needed you." Henry rubbed her arm, "real family is not about being perfect, or always making the right choice, or saving each other. It's about being free to be yourself and to make mistakes knowing the people you love will love you regardless, maybe even because you're not perfect. They believe in you and support you even at your worst. They love you as you are."

"I love you, kid." Emma smiled through the sobs, "you and Hope amaze me everyday. I still don't understand how two such amazing people could come partly from me."

Henry tilted his head to the side, in a gesture that was just so Regina. Reaching out to again hold her hand, he squeezed gently. His next words were like a balm to her soul.

"Family is also about forgiveness. I forgave you a long time ago, you know."

She nodded, amazed by her son.

He took in his mother. Sure she had made mistakes but she always kept trying. She did everything she could to help everyone else. It was way past time for her to be truly happy.

An inkling inside told him he was on the right path. Writer's instinct maybe, or perhaps it was having the heart of the truest believer. Whatever it was, he had learned over his life to go with his instinct. He trusted it once again, giving her a final push.

"Ma, I think maybe it's time you forgive yourself."

Emma had been just about able to calm herself and stop the flow of tears when her son's words registered unleashing a tidal wave of emotions. She crumpled into herself, some distant part of her brain registered that Henry had wrapped his arms around her.

Henry hugged his mother close as she broke down in his arms. He didn't say anything, simply sat with her as she processed through her emotions. He had some experience with navigating self doubt and inner judgment. He had dealt with his own enough times in his life, not to mention his other mother's struggle. So he held her and let her come to her own decision on what he had said.

Emma's head swirled with emotions long trapped in her subconscious. The proverbial floodgates had opened and she couldn't stop the onslaught. Emma hadn't even realized that she was physically capable of crying this much.

Her son's words echoed in her mind.

Forgive herself. Was that even possible?

Emma was a woman of action. She jumped in head first usually, not often considering the consequences. Emotions were not her strong suit.

Yet her son had forgiven her. If he could, could she? Was she ready to let it all go?

Could she forgive herself for giving up her son? For messing up and falling for Neal? For allowing the influence of what she thought others wanted and expected of her to impact her choices? For losing herself under the burden of their expectations? For all the pain she had inflicted as the dark one? For all the times she hurt the people she loved, whether intentionally and deliberately or just by existing?

What about what had been done on her behalf? How her parents had stolen Lily from Maleficent and then gave her Emma's darkness. Then there was this curse. Emma hadn't had a choice in any of those decisions but her parents had, in their minds, made those choices for her.

If she forgave herself, would that also mean having to forgive them? To forgive her mother? Emma wasn't sure she was ready to go down that road. She was so angry. Justifiably angry.

Shw wondered if this was the kind of anger Regina had felt. If anyone could understand what she was going through, it was Regina. How had Regina done it? How had she looked at all the wrong choices she had made, all the pain and hurt and horrors, and come back from that?

Almost as if the Queen was responding to the question in Emma's mind, Regina's words echoed in her memory. It was as if Emma could see Regina in her mind's eye responding to Pan's goading in Neverland, "Yeah, there's one problem with that. I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I've done some terrible things. I should be overflowing with regret, but... I'm not. Because it got me my son."

Regina's words resonated with Emma.

All of it. All the past mistakes and hurts. They had all led Emma to this point. If she hadn't been in the wardrobe she wouldn't have met Neal. If she hadn't been running from a crappy childhood she might never have tried to steal the bug. They might have never met. Without Neal there was no Henry.

If August hadn't been in the wardrobe too, then he wouldn't have told Neal about her and the prophecy. Without August to tell Neal, maybe Neal wouldn't have sent her to prison for his crimes. She might not have had to give Henry up, but what kind of life would they have had? And if Henry had never gone to Regina, what would have happened to her? Henry had helped the Queen realize the strength in love. Where would Regina be without Henry?

Then there were her parents. As angry as she was with her mother now, what If Henry had never brought her to Storybrooke? She would never have met her parents.

She would never have met Ruby, or Granny, or Mulan.

She would never have met Hook.

She wouldn't have Hope:

If the curse had never been cast She might have ended up a singing princess in a petticoat. Just the memory of the wish verse version of herself made her shudder.

Henry squeezed her in response causing her to smile.

Her son. Her and Regina's son. He meant the world to them, to her. So did her daughter. The daughter she wouldn't have had without the curse that brought her and Hook together.

Had it been right? No.

Was she still pissed? Yes.

But there was no way to change the past. She knew that more than most. She had always adapted and kept moving forward. That was the story of her life.

Perhaps the kid was right.

She had released her husband. She didn't need Hook to help her feel wanted and not alone. She would be true to herself. She deserved to be happy.

She had told off the stupid Blue Fairy. 'Savior' or not, no one else would dictate her choices. Her life choices were forevermore her decision.

Hell, she had even called out her mother. Fear of rejection be damned. She didn't need parental validation. She didn't need anyone's validation.

She might not be perfect, but she was enough. Just the way she was. It was ok for her just to be Emma.

She liked Emma. She likes Emma.

While she may not be perfect, Emma deserves the chance to be herself. She deserves the chance to be happy as herself. She deserves the chance to have a family of her own choosing.

If Emma Swan could let go of all that, had let go of all of that, then she was just as capable of releasing herself from the guilt she had been carrying around. She deserved the chance to be without it.

Without hesitation, she acknowledged it to herself.

'I forgive me. I deserve it.'

Though the thought went through her mind, Emma felt it in her heart. The phantom weight lifted from her shoulders and the tears finally stopped. She released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

Henry had been keeping his mother close, held to his side in a tight embrace. Unaware of her internal thoughts, he didn't connect the dots when a cool breeze blew around them. Momentarily distracted, he gazed around in wonder at the flower petals that circled them, caught in the gentle gust. A sweet smell of honeysuckle and lavender enveloped them. He was so caught up in watching the floral whirlwind that he missed the flash of red and blue lights in his mother's eyes as she looked around in shared wonder.

When the final petal landed softly on the ground, Emma sighed. She extricated herself from her son's embrace and sat up, wiping at her cheeks. Scooting down the bench, she tried to put a little distance between her and her son. Regardless of what all had just transpired, it wasn't fair to lay this burden on his shoulders. He had his own wife and kid to take care of and watch out for, he didn't need to worry about his grown-ass mother too.

As if reading the track of her thoughts, Henry tilted his head capturing her eyes, "No matter what you're thinking right now, you are not alone. You are never going to be alone. You have me, Hope, Lucy, Jacinda, you have all of us, Ma … and you have mom. She loves you. It's apparent to anyone who knows you both. She sees you as part of our family."

"I appreciate that kid. I really do. You know how much I love you and Hope and Lucy and Jacinda." Emma hiccupped and rubbed at her eyes, "As for your mom, well, I… I love her Henry. God! So, so much."

"You should tell her." His smile soft as he encouraged her to share her feelings. "You both more than deserve the chance at a happy ending together."

Emma chuckled. "If it were only that simple."

"It is, Ma," Henry shrugged, "you both just seem to like to complicate it."

"We complicate it? I think you mean Snow complicated it." Her words came out harsher than she intended. Emma sighed, recognizing that it wasn't Henry's fault. "Sorry kid, I didn't mean it."

"I know, Ma."

"It's just… that for a moment, I just, I thought… I thought this was it. You know? That finally I could have it, really have it. That this time would be different, that your mom and I, well that we could, we could be together, we could be a real family. With you and Hope and Lucy and Jacinda." Emma smiled up at the sky lost in that happy thought for a moment, before her face fell. "But then, just like always, I'm reminded that I can't have it. It's like all those times as a kid, when everyone else was chosen, and I was passed over. It was like a constant reminder that I wasn't enough, that I'm not worthy. There was no family for me. Emma Swan wasn't meant to get her happy ending."

Henry had no idea how to respond to his mother's despair. He looped his arm around her and hugged her to his side as she sat beside him defeated.

Her shoulders sagged in defeat as she tried to explain the hurt she felt inside. "That's how it felt. And now I get so, so close to… to everything, to happiness and a family I choose, and with whom I can finally be accepted as myself, and… what happens? My own mother, the poster child for true love and the damn purveyor of hope speeches, tells me I can't have it! That there is no way I can have my happy ending…"

They both jumped when a raspy voice startled them out of their sad bubble.

"Well, that's just bullshit!"

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Author notes: Approaching the end of the story. Thank you for reading and commenting. Your feedback helps more than uou may realize!