Audrey.
Audrey was sitting across from him at the table in front of the counter. Flipping through one of those fancy plant books as she often did when there were no customers in the shop. Which was most of the time. Her bewildering ability to distract him from the comic book cleverly hidden in front of a not often called upon book on flower symbolism, though... that was new. The sneering and almost sarcastic list of effects that he might hope to experience as a result of their dealings with the black market and ambrosias in the eye of the beholder, kindly procured by Audrey on his behalf, had been surprisingly and wondrously accurate so far in spite of the admittedly not entirely trustworthy source it had come from. Except for that. Not once in his practically continuous life-long fantasy of being a guy had he considered the possibility of his extremely logical aversion to anything even slightly resembling the shit that had made him and his siblings' lives a living hell and ended Tony's being challenged. Her curves, her legs, her chest... were certainly... worthy foes, though...
"...Anybodys? Are you feeling okay?"
He almost instinctively repositioned the suddenly convenient book he was holding over his crotch. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Audrey appeared to find much more intrigue in the book than he ever had for a long moment before shyly looking back down at her book and smiling slightly. "Just making sure." ...She's... is she tryin' ta do this to me?! Or are guys just like this, cursed ta want a girl 'till they're not wantin' for nothin' no more cause they're dead, or "worse than dead" if everything that old geezer shouted at Ma before the crack of dawn is to be believed... she does feel good though... wait, when did our legs start touchin'?! Did I do that?... Wonder what else I could do... Encouraged by a subtle shy glance upwards at him from that book she was smart enough to understand, Anybodys reached out to tuck a strand of her silky hair behind her ear, freezing as he remembered the many times his father in genetics and law and other stupid ways that didn't count only treating his Ma with a much less gentle touch. And then aborting whatever that stupid mission had been by immediately retracting his arm and returning to the much less perilous adventures of Batman and Robin.
See, this is the way to go, friendship. Friendship's never lead to anyone bleedin' out on a crappy basketball court or nearly doin' so on the kitchen floor... Her passive tapping at the table broke through his awareness. Like everything about her, especially nowadays. ...Then again, no one ever said friends can't help each other get their kicks... no law against it or anythin'... not that I or anyone else with a lick a sense'd pay it any mind if there was... Her now much less annoying and in fact quite charming voice put a very temporary end to his contemplations. "Oh! I've got something to show you, I...I think you'll really like it-her." ...Wait, her? He returned her smile before she started heading towards the door to his room, his temporary confusion displaced by that alluring look of hers... or maybe all of her looks were alluring now... and its rival in enticingness, her swaying hips and... Anybodys shook his head violently and forced himself to imagine his former best friend and betrayer's bullet wound. Alarmingly, this exercise did not have the intended effect of returning him once again to sanity, even after he invented a new detail of intestines spilling out of it. Which would be pretty cool if it wasn't on Tony. Even if he did betray him and then die to a stupid mistake that he had tried to stop him from making immediately afterwards.
I can't make the same dumb decision he did, he deserves ta have some kinda positive legacy from his death even if he was bein' a krupin' bastard right before and a dopey lovesick idiot for long before... and I guess the fact that he stopped the fighting counts too... Suddenly, Audrey emerged from Anybodys' room, carrying something in her elegant hands that he wished were pressed against... "I'm afraid she isn't feeling very well today." Audrey's luscious voice prompted him to pay attention to what exactly was in her hands, which turned out to be some kind of plant that was admittedly mildly more interesting than the shop's standard fare of stupid delicate girly flowers. "...Huh, that's interesting. Didja pick that one up yerself? What is it? Why's it look different than the others?" Anybodys' chest swelled with pride as Audrey beamed at his uncharacteristic interest in what was one of her favorite hobbies, once again sitting across from him... and being the one to press her legs up against his this time. "Well... Remember that total eclipse of the sun... nevermind, the story won't end up mattering unless my plan for her works, and you know how likely that is on Skid Row..." Her voice and demeanor regained their previous cheeriness after a pause. "Anyway, I got her at the wholesale flower district. I think she might be related to Venus fly traps somehow, but it's hard to tell for sure when she's not in any of Seymour's books."
She leaned in slightly closer to Anybodys in her enthusiasm, and he felt himself unexpectedly caring slightly about one of her plants for once despite the many other competing matters on his mind. "So, I was thinking, maybe when she's more presentable we could display her in the window for the customers to see. A strange and interesting plant like her could attract business for the shop, especially if we used her to improve its... atmosphere, make it feel homey and welcoming for everybody." Anybodys made a half-hearted attempt to feel anything other than elation at the definite flirtatious note that was now in her voice and to do anything in response besides eagerly leaning in closer to her, which caused her to smile slightly. "Of course, that's only the second biggest reason that I named her Everybodys'..." Audrey had barely finished her sentence when Anybodys closed the distance between them in a bold and surprisingly undisgustingly romantic lunge. His confidence increased further as he felt her smile against his lips for a moment before returning his kiss, and he cupped her cheek in his hand... jerking away from her a second later at Mr. Mushnik's unexpected and very much unwelcomed voice. "Well... It seems the plot is thickening among my employees. James..."
Whatever stupid inane bullshit the boss was now saying after he had uttered Audrey's fake name faded into the background where it belonged behind the ringing that was now in Anybodys' ears as he jolted upwards, nearly knocking the table over. He managed to charge approximately one and a half strides closer to that zhlob before he became aware of Audrey attempting to hold him back and begrudgingly let her do so, almost regretting that decision as Mr. Mushnik... Mushnik, he didn't deserve the title of Mr... gave a short derisive laugh at his expense before thankfully leaving the store front again. Anybodys turned back towards Audrey, and his regret was partially mitigated by the at least slightly anxiety-tinged admiration in her eyes and her hand sliding down to his. "It's okay, really, he's... always called me that... but you more than make it up to me." Her kind words, despite their-her charm, fell extremely short of completely subduing his anger. "Still, I'll get 'im to stop."