A/N: And she feels like home. If the shoe fits, walk in it, everywhere you go. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

Loneliness

[Summer 124 AG]

There is an unnerving power to belief. Believing in something can do the most unimaginable things. Belief moves mountains and moves people. It brings true believers to fight in wars and to die for their beliefs. It would be incredible if it wasn't entirely terrifying. Such is the power of belief, to accomplish the impossible; to bring doubters to the light; to save; and to kill. True belief can do anything. If we believe something, really believe it, then we can never lie when we speak on it. If we believe it enough, we aren't lying: we are testifying.

In a way, Azula is the truest believer to ever live.

She never lies to anyone, she only tells them what she believes. She is everything she has ever said about herself. Azula the Crown Princess. Azula the Dragon Empress. Asuna of Lanxi. The Lady in Red. Akola of Ember Island. It's how she blocks the Seismic Sense. It's how she has survived. It's how she lives with herself. A life of terror, and more blood on her hands than there is water on Earth to wash it all away. She must be the truest believer to convince herself that she is a good person. To even consider the opposite may be true is a weight so great that it threatens to instantly crush her.

So she presses onward, believing. She used the power of her belief to convince Aiwei, Jin, and On Ji that she could get the young boy a bright new life, away from the streets of Ba Sing Se. Some part of her knows it's wrong. She knows she is condemning him to a life of abuse and manipulation. She knows the Red Lotus will corrupt him.

But what Azula believes is entirely different than what she knows.

Akola sits in the studio apartment that she used to share with Siq. There's a soft albeit uncomfortable chair by the door, where she curls up and does something she rarely does: she tries to stifle an onslaught of tears. Thinking of Aiwei and what will become of him weighs heavy on her. What really spurred this along though was not Aiwei himself but what he represents. The Red Lotus takes him from her, takes him from the world. She wonders what would have happened if they had come for her in Lanxi? Would she have given Yasuko up just as easily, if it meant to protect herself? Or would she have faced the wrath of the fire for her Little Dragon? It's been over four years since she left Lanxi in the dark of night. She fears for the girl and what would happen if the Red Lotus went after her, as Xai Bau has assured her he would, if Asuna appeared again empty handed.

She is stuck between a rock and a hard place, metaphorically. She is fighting back tears on an uncomfortable couch, physically. And it is this state of duress she finds herself in when the door to her apartment swings open.

"Hey Akola, do you have any-"

Siq stands before her, having keyed in just a moment ago. It takes a moment for everything to register and he immediately begins to plan an escape.

"Ah, so sorry-"

"What?" She asks, standing up quickly and rubbing the loose tears out. "Do you need something, Siq?"

The young man still kept a key to their old apartment. Akola had rightfully assumed she could be left alone, but the boy from the Southern Water Tribe showing up has been a surprise all around.

"No! No! Nothing that can't wait." He hastily tries to exit.

Siq closes the door and all but runs away. He had never seen Akola cry before this moment and he's still stunned that it happened. He runs through his mind what could cause such a powerful woman to lay in a heap of tears by herself. He wonders if someone she loves had died and if she was quietly in mourning. He doesn't know anything about her family, but perhaps it had been a sibling. Or perhaps, like himself, she has lost a parent. Siq's mind races out faster than his steps carry him away.

In those hurried steps, a seedling springs roots in his mind. An idea begins to form about what to do and how he can help his best friend in her silent suffering.

Dearest Akola,

I'm compelled to write to you with aching, longing hands. My visit this past spring was not nearly long enough. You see, since leaving, I lay awake at night feeling unsatisfied. The coolness of your side of the bed, juxtaposed with the warmth of your body on mine. I miss it so. I'll return in the winter or sooner, if I can.

Your new crew is an exceptional group of people. They remind me of the old ones, but entirely different, and special in their own ways.

I know the day is fast approaching and it does not come easy for you. I still don't know if it's right, but all avenues have been explored. Just remember:

For every living being self-preservation must come first.

I love you, my dearest.

Yours, Truly,

Ty

Akola stands at the door, waiting for Aiwei. He slings a bag over his shoulder and approaches. He stops at the door to his apartment and takes one last look around, taking it all in. He's trying to commit it to memory.

The sun is up, but between the buildings and the overcast sky, not much light breaks through. It provides a sort of greyness that envelopes the world around them. It is all that Aiwei sees: a pale grey world that will soon be behind him. A life he will leave behind. Perhaps one he will not miss, or perhaps one that he will look back up on fondly someday. But assuredly, he looks upon it now with ambivalence.

"Ready?" She says to him.

He turns back to her.

"Me and you?" She continues. "It's time we got going."

Aiwei steps away from the door and leaves his life behind. They walk through the filth ridden and trash covered streets of the Lower Ring Ba Sing Se. The grime and the uncleaned stains of beverage and urine line the very walls and floors beneath them. Aiwei had grown accustomed to this city over his lifetime. A relationship of convenience, rather than choice. The decision had been difficult, but not laborious. The only part he regrets is not sharing the news with Siq.

"Don't look so glum. There are worse fates in life."

"Are there?" He asks ruefully at first, before dropping the charade. "I suppose you're right. So what shall we do today?"

"We meet after sunset, so I've got a whole final day planned."

For the first time, a bit of sun breaks through the clouds and the rooftops.

"First, we steal some lunch from the market."

"Excellent."

They walk side by side as she continues, "A light afternoon eavesdropping on the pai sho players in the park."

"I find out the liars-"

"And we try to guess what truth they're hiding."

"I like it. What else?"

"A few final hours in the library."

"A fitting end."

"Before an early supper and then head to the rendezvous."

"We're going to go out to eat? We can afford that?"

"No, we can't. But we're going to do it anyway."

The sun fully escapes the clouds. The path before them opens up. What was once grey and dead, now breathes to life with color.

"I always liked your hair more when it's short like this." The teenager tells her.

"Oh?" She replies in between bites of her dinner. "And I'm supposed to do what about that?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Aiwei sighs. "It's just a compliment, Akola. Relax!"

The two friends sit at the boys' last supper. Akola has saved money for this moment, treating him to something special for his last day. They treat it like any other meal, but the entire day has been trending towards a more somber tone. By all accounts it was a perfect day for Aiwei, just as Akola had dreamed it up. Yet as each checkpoint was reached, she found herself thinking more and more about the young black haired girl in Lanxi. Her little dragon. It was a sinking feeling, and it is at this exact moment that Aiwei asks her a most jarring question.

"Do you believe in the Spirit World?"

She chews on the question as she chews on her food.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because I believe you'll be honest."

"That's a funny thing to say, considering."

"You can say anything, and it will come across as true. But why lie about your own personal beliefs? Between friends, someone I may not see again for a long time. Why should I fear you lying?"

"I see."

"So, do you believe?"

"I believe in many things. Most of all, I believe in myself."

"That's a powerful thing to believe in."

She decides to answer his question and not string him along any further. "I've heard things about the Spirit World in my many years. As a child, I heard legends. As a teenager, rumors. But as an adult, I don't have any experiences. And real life experiences trump all when you get to my age."

"I've been reading about it and I'm convinced it exists."

"You sound like many others."

He laughs and they put their utensils down, neither one still eating.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Excellent, so I'll ask anyway."

"Piece of shit." She chides him and they both laugh.

"Have you always been hungry?"

"Lunch didn't really do it for me either. But this should hold me over."

"I think you've always been hungry, Akola."

Confused, she rebuffs her head. "What are you-"

"I think we've both always been hungry."

She narrows her eyes as realization settles upon her. "Is that right?"

He looks out into the crowds all around them. The Lower Ring is buzzing. He says to no one, "I've always been hungry."

"Don't be fooled by the emptiness of hunger." She warns him.

"Hmm?"

Unbeknownst to the two sitting, a certain set of twins spots them from across the way. The two quietly and quickly work their way towards them.

"You may think that the hunger drives you. You run faster, you work harder, you fight more. The struggle to survive, just to make it to the next meal. But that hunger you feel is masking the emptiness. None of us, Aiwei, can go it alone."

"I see."

"Another word for it is-"

"Surprise!"

Akola jumps a little. Their rendezvous is coming up, but she has feared that they would come to collect earlier. She looks up at the twins in cloaks and grunts.

"Bing! Beng! How lovely to see you!" Aiwei chirps.

"You two again. What are you doing here?"

"We spotted you."

"And decided to come over."

"Always good to see you again, Akola."

The two have a serious reverence for Akola. Perhaps her general disdain for them and disregard for their antics is what drew them to her. Nonetheless, the relationship is a thorn in her side as the degenerates often get caught up into trouble that Akola must either bail them out of, or suffer their consequences.

"What do you two want?"

Bing smiles lopsided, clearly already a little intoxicated. "We're headed to that equalist rally. Heard they're giving out sandwiches."

"And for the cause!" Beng adds, sincerely.

"Hoping they'll have some cactus juice or some bender supremacists fucks that we can fight."

"You two are going to get yourselves or others killed someday if you keep this up." Akola accosts them.

"Aye, if it means putting some of those supremacists shits in the ground-"

"-then we're all for it!"

"Do you agree with them, Akola?" Aiwei asks, curiosity sparking.

"I stay out of these matters, all of you know that."

"The Peacekeeper, Akola of Ember Island." Bing chirps.

"If you don't choose a side, that is choosing a side, and it's the side of those assholes."

"Some of the best people I've ever known are non-benders, including my wife. I just don't care for all of the drama that comes with this."

"Care to join us, then?"

"Sorry, we can't." Aiwei breaks the news. He stands up from his seat and Akola does as well. With a knowing glance he replies, "We were just heading home actually."

Akola nods. The cover story is set. The escape is ensured. The twin cloaks billow in the wind as they depart. Akola and Aiwei disappear into the dark streets of Ba Sing Se as well.

In the pale moonlight, two weary travelers walk through the abandoned streets of the Lower Ring. Their steps are heavy and fraught with thoughts. One of them weighs the potential dangers of handing over a powerful bender to a group of extremists, against the very real dangers they pose to her life and her loved ones. The other contemplates leaving behind everything he's known for a chance to finally quench his hunger.

"How will we know if they're here?"

"They wouldn't back out now."

"But what if something happened?"

Azula remembers how much control Xai Bau wants over her. How far he's willing to go to get it. As they approach the library entrance she sees it long last. In the shadows, just within sight, is the woman with the lightning scar.

"They wouldn't miss this for the world."

They come to a stop in front of the woman. Aiwei doesn't know any better. He earnestly greets her, "Hello! Are you -"

"No, she's not." Akola cuts him off.

The door to the library opens and out steps a short, tan, bald man. He wears a light cloak for the summer weather. Akola wants to smite him from the earth right here and now, but she knows that would not give her the safety she craves.

"But I am." Xai Bau greets the young earthbender. "And who do I have the pleasure of meeting today?"

"My name is Aiwei, of Ba Sing Se."

"Aiwei. What a lovely name."

"Thank you, it was my grandmother's."

"So, my good friend Akola here says that you have a special talent."

The shadows close in on the group as all of Xai Bau's disciples make their appearance known to Azula and company.

"Aye," he replies. "I know when people lie to me."

"So she says. So the rumors go. But can you prove it?"

"Try me." Aiwei replies confidently, wanting to assert himself and impress.

"That's the spirit. How's about this?" He says with a smile. "My sister was my closest friend as a child, or my hair has always been bald since I was about your age."

Akola cocks an eyebrow at this, both bening nothing's which could be equal parts truth and lies. Aiwei doesn't blink.

"Neither is true."

"I loved my sister, so I'm afraid-"

"My abilities are never wrong. I can't tell who was your best friend, or if you became close after childhood. But you're lying."

Akola turns her attention to Xai Bau, trying hard to contain the smile on her face. Aiwei proving himself in real time was something to see. But her glory is short-lived as the master of Red Lotus turns his attention to her.

"Very well. It is easy to lie to strangers. Harder to lie to friends. Prove you can read her. Tell us all something that we know that the boy does not, and tell us all a lie."

Akola slowly turns to face the boy with dark skin and green eyes. They meet each other head on. Xai Bau relishes this moment as the rest of onlookers consider actions to take. Depending on what she says next, they very well make their decision on what to do with her. This is no casual moment between friends. This life and death.

"I pledge my undying loyalty to Xai Bau," she starts with a pause. She turns and nods towards the man dangling all of the chips. "Or my name is Akola of Ember Island."

The code is clear.

"You're lying about who you are."

Xai Bau laughs audibly. "Incredible. But you've only known her as such this entire time?"

"That's her name," he replies, looking at Azula with confident and whispering eyes. "It's been her name from the start."

"You never considered she was lying?"

"I didn't check for her name. I believed her."

"So it's a bending you need to activate?"

"Yes." He himself lies. "It's not always on. I need to focus. And her name isn't something I ever thought she'd be lying about."

Both things had come across as the truth. Azula knew it. Aiwei knew it. But they shared this secret. They shared this lie. He did not know why she lied, but he understood Akola better than almost anyone so he kept this to himself.

Xai Bau steps forward and puts his hand on Aiwei's back. He smiles broadly while looking at Akola.

"You may not know her name, but I have always known her as The Immortal Soldier."

Akola is thrown back in time. All the way back to that Air Temple. A gamble of high stakes political stratagem Pai Sho. The overnight retreat to further discussions. The alignment of the Dragon Empress and the Pale Lotus. Two names that could be forever forgotten now. But here Xai Bau stood, bringing back another name from the dead.

"Do you want to know why?"

Xai Bau and Aiwei stand side by side and make eye contact. The young boy is still hungry. He protects her now out of respect but he does want to know more about the woman who has brought him to this point. Ever so subtly, he nods his head.

"Because there's no such thing as peace time for her; her life is just one battle after another."

"Are we done here, Xai Bau?" She interjects.

"Yes, Master, we should get going. The night is young, but our travel arrangements await." The woman with the scar says.

"Of course, of course." He waves her off. "Let us make our leave with our young protege. From here on out, you will only know luxuries you had dreamt of before."

"Very well, Master Xai Bau. But before I go, may I say my goodbyes?"

"Yes, but with all of us present."

Once again the gang of villains turn their attention to Azula. However it is Aiwei who speaks first.

"Will you miss me?" He asks.

She yields.

"I'll never think of you again." She replies with a smile.

He gasps slightly. The realization washes over him. He had felt her lie. Perhaps it was her own emotions getting the best of her in the moment. Perhaps she was tired. No matter what, she had allowed him to know.

The True Believer is made a liar.

It's late in the evening when Sokka wakes up on the couch. He jumps awake from a particularly realistic nightmare. Groggily he looks around, trying to reconstruct his surroundings. He recognizes it as Suki's bedroom. The lights are out in the room, but the door is slightly ajar and a sliver of orange-yellow light stretches into the room. The councilman sits up and rubs his eyes for a few moments. He stops and rests his head on his palm trying to recount the night.

He'd come here in the hopes of having a peaceful conversation. He'd practiced it a dozen times in his mind and thought he knew how it would all unfold. They shared a delicious meal that he made and afterwards he broached the topic: the quiet quitting on a long failed venture.

It's been over a year of investigating Yakone. At first it was a worthwhile investment as they learned more about his empire. However, as time has gone on, the task has become cumbersome and time-consuming. In order to protect his peace, Sokka had relegated it to something he focused on with his spare time, of which he has sparingly little these days. Meanwhile, it was increasingly taking more of Suki's time, and her attention away from Kyoshi Island. Lomen was practically operating solo for the last two, maybe even three months.

The conversation could've gone better. At one point, his temper got the better of him as Sokka asked Suki where 'this deep seeded desire to prove something' had come from. They've lost money, time, resources, and we're no closer to nailing the low level mobster down. It felt much like the years when the entire Avatar Gang was in search of Azula and how Ty Lee had never been willing to surrender the chase. Sokka remembers Suki falling into similar depths searching for Azula, after she passed. It lasted years. He fears the same will take place now with Yakone.

When things went south he simply headed to the bedroom. At first he was alone with his thoughts. Eventually he lied down and without meaning to he had drifted off into sleep. Then he had a nightmare about fire and lightning.

He stands at last and goes to the door. He opens it and steps lightly across the wood panel flooring. It's late but it's clear where his wife is located. He comes to a stop at the entrance to her office. She stares at the wall of yarn and pictures which has become her home these days. She stands staring at it, holding some news clippings in her hands, trying to piece the puzzle together.

"Suki."

She looks over her shoulder for a fraction of a second, if even that.

"Come to bed."

She doesn't move.

"In a minute." She replies, not meaning a word of it.

He nods his head. He stares at her for a few seconds, watching her stand as still as a statue. After a pause he finally retreats. He remembers where he is now, but he fears that his wife is the one who is truly lost.

Akola of Ember Island has lost something dear to her. She has sacrificed a young boy and all of his talents and potential so that she can continue to live in anonymity, and her loved ones can be safe and secure. The reach of the Red Lotus had dug deep into her life and clenched into her. Perhaps they were not quite done yet with her, but they are appeased temporarily. As for now, she walks through the streets, headed home, guided by the moonlight.

She finds her door and places the key into it. She opens it and pushes inward. With a flip of her finger the lights come on around her and she stops at the sight that is exposed from the darkness.

Sitting on the table by the door is a large porcelain pot and two dozen flowers sticking out. She stares at it in surprise and disbelief for a brief moment before moving towards it. At first she runs her hands through the flowers. She wonders if they are a gift from Ty Lee, but that wouldn't explain how they got into her small space. Just as she is considering how it is that someone broke into her home she notices a tiny card. She flips the envelope open and pulls the paper from it. A handwritten note left for her.

Akola,

You seemed down this morning. I don't know what has happened, but I am here for you. So is Mama, and On Ji, and Aiwei. We want to help you and support you. If you care to share your burdens, I'll be honored to assist you in carrying them. In the meantime, please consider this saying that my Auntie taught me while I was a boy in the Southern Water Tribe:

Our minds are bountiful gardens, needing to be tended. The thoughts we have every day fill them with seeds and water and care. It is our choice if we grow flowers or if we grow sharp thorns. Spend a little time every day deciding which you will plant.

Sincerely,

Siq

A/N: This chapter's OST is "Hunger" by Florence+ The Machine.

Love always. Tyzula forever.

Notorious