About the Author: Often confused for a Bad Dragon toy with Potato Head parts jammed into the sides, Buster Manwomb has had extreme luck evading capture since photo's of them committing their many petty crimes invariably resemble cursed AI images.

Chapter 1: Meanwhile, in the emergency room

"Circumcision?!" Sonic yelped like a man who's new girlfriend just explained what he'll need to get to have sex with her.

"Against all odds, yes." Said the doctor who had a face of a man who'd just explained how a hedgehog's husband was in a plane crash, miraculously having the extent of his injuries be a surgically precise circumcision from the awry propeller. "He's completely dead. The explosion blew him into so many pieces, the most intact parts of his body were his pocket, with his cellphone open to an unsent text to Sonic that said 'I finally got that circumcision, Sonic! Will you make an honest woman out of me now?' and a magnificently long and girthy, freshly circumcised penis.

"It was easily the most violent remains we'd ever scooped off the pavement in from of the sexual health clinic he got his circumcision at!" The nurse added. "and that clinic does abortions, so that's an especially high bar to reach."

"It's a good thing I was there!" The doctor said, pulling up Instagram of his cell phone after Sonic refused to pull out his phone so he could check the doctors Instagram and maybe give him a follow while sonic was there. He went to his newest photo: a selfie of him in clubbing clothes doing a duckface over a greasy donair, with 'I'm breaking up with Daniel so I don't have a love affair with this donair! Lol just kidding, I've been having this love affair for years, because I can get more meat from these kebabs than I ever can from Daniel. Do you hear that Daniel? I cheated because of your unsatisfactory sexual performance. Sergei, the guy that runs 'The Donair Shack'? He's been pumping me raw in his walk-in freezer in exchange for jumbo donairs every weekend and weekday, and now he told me he'll throw in onion rings too if I dump your bitch-ass and go exclusive with him. I left your stuff on the curb beside that deep puddle cars drive over. Also could you please still keep me on your Paramount+ account? I'll let you fuuuuuuck me 😉. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE HEADLIGHTS COMING FRO' and cutting off. Miles was directly behind the doctor, getting pulped by a garbage truck that had swerved onto the sidewalk, headlights facing right at the doctor.

'"How did I survive that?" The doctor asked.

"Did you get to the body fast enough?" Sonic asked, grabbing at the doctors collar desperately. "Give it to me straight, doc, can you save him?"

The doctor looked down at the pile of giblets that really had no need to be taking up an ER bed. "I just told you he was dead!"

And then the pile of giblets that in some very different alignment than they were in now would have resembled the Miles 'Tails' Prower we all knew and love, coughed. "S-Sonic?"

Sonic and the doctor looked at the pile of giblets with relief and horror respectively, and they ran to the giblet's side and sprinted from the ER respectively. Sonic got closer and spoke clearly. "Tails, my love, my dear wife and husband, my bro and my bra! Are you okay?"

"I don't think so." Tails coughed. At least, it coughed about as recognizably at it spoke. There wasn't as much a mouth as there was a clump of bubbles forming at the top of the mess that made words each time one of them popped. "Sonic, I don't have much time before I wake up in a fantasy world and am automatically given a twelve-episode season that'll blend in with the rest of isekais on Crunchyroll, quickly! I haven't much time! Sonic, are you listening?"

"Yes."

"Closely?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes.

"Say it!"

"I swear that I am listening closely to yo-"

"Then we need to hurry, damn it! I haven't much time!" The giblets explained. "Are You listening, Sonic?"

"Kinda."

"Avenge me!" Giblet Tails said. "Avenge me and fuck me! Right Now! Fulfill your promise and make me your go-to butt boy! Don't let my circumcision be for nothing!"

"Are you sure?" Sonic checked. "The doctor just rushed back in with a crash cart, morphine, and some of the world's best surgeons!"

"OH GAWD THE LIGHT IS COMING CLOSER!" Giblet Tails yelled, not letting anything, not even his own life get in the way of Sonic's girthy spout sausage.

"Okay Tails, I'm coming!" Sonic said, inflating his penis and thrusting it into the piles of giblets.

Tails moaned like the English voice actor of a 90s yaoi you found on vhs in a pawn shop in 2006 and somehow keep around despite the fact that you haven't had a vcr since 2017 when your last one broke. "Yes sonic! Burst within and upon me after using my orifices to our mutual pleasure!"

"I don't know where your butthole is on your anymore!" Sonic girthily and dutily grabbed Tails by what he thought were his love muffins, but he'll eventually realize were Tail's liver and lower right thigh. "It may take a few tries!"

"Oh, yes Sonic!" Tail's mewled sluttily as Sonics penis bashfully penetrated upon the gory pile that was progressively getting literally fucked into a puddle. "You feel so good in all my holes!"

Tails was not exaggerating, either. Every time Sonic loudily thrust into Tail's giblet mass, it was all but a statistical guarantee that in Tail's current orientation, it was a statistical guarantee that sonic would strike at least one of Tails' erogenous zones. With one thrust Sonic fucked through Tail's mouth hole, earhole, earlobe, rib-hole, and pancreas hole. This the next thrust, he penetrated Tails' retina, sclera, bicep, left lung, and the right half of his butthole. The third thrust actually his Tails' prostate, making the giblets shutter, tighten, and mewl as he declared "I'm so close!"

The doctor and the staff were all still standing there out of shock or genuine arousal. The doctor himself was having his worst panic attack since his days working as a gynecologist in Banff, Alberta. The scene reminded him of his very first shift, back when he was the only doctor on hand during the events of 69 Hues of Mini: Osmosis Jones Witnesses an Organ Orgy, only now with Sonic the hedgehog, glazed in his patient's blood and viscera, massaging his own prostate and carnally glazing Miles 'Tails' Prower.

"Dear God!" The doctor said. "How is he still alive?!"

"I feel kinda fine, actually!" Miles bubbled enthusiastically, immediately dying. One of the nurses finally found a finger, and put on the sensor for Sonic could hear the flatline for dramatic effect.

"TAAAAAAILS!" Sonic wailed, falling to his knees, his spent penis dragging behind him. Crying against the doctor's torso, Sonic wailed a good long time as the nurses collected Tail in several buckets. "I was going to pregnant him, doc! I was going to pregnant him so HARD!"

"You… neither off you have wombs."

"I'm no fucking quitter, doc!" Sonic said, grabbing the doctor by the collars again, splashing residual blood all over him. "We would have talked so long to figure that out if you didn't spoil…. Wait."

Sonic looked at the doctor's phone, which was still in his hand. He never put it away, as he was trying to think of the best moment to say 'I know this isn't a good time, but would you follow my Instagram page?'

Sonic grabbed the phone, and looked in the selfie with the moment of Tail's likely but not apparent death in the background. "What is that?"

What's what?" The doctor asked.

Sonic grabbed the phone, and zoomed in on the truck window. The driver was clearly on his phone.

"Texting while driving!" The doctor declared. "How illegal! I hope you sure."

"Wait" Sonic said.

Zooming in even further, the message the trucker was typing said 'I see him, boss! I'm running him over now, Doctor Eggman, my boss. My boss whose order to kill is what I'm currently obeying.

"Eggman killed my beloved circumcised butt boy!" Sonic yelled. "That son of a bitch! I'll kill kim!"

"But he's on his moon fortress at the moment!" The doctor said, pulling up doctor Eggmans recent photo, of him playing Warhammer 40k with some friends on the moon. The comments were all aggressive insults from flat earthers.

"Then I'm going to the moon!" Sonic declared, pointing at the moon.