The next morning, it opens on Octavia asleep in Lincoln's bed, when…
Moxxie: *off-screen, flabbergasted* WHAT THE FUCK?!
Octavia's eyes snap open as she sits up, looking confused. Putting on a robe over her pajamas, she walks out of the room and to the kitchen, where Moxxie and Lincoln are standing in the doorway in pure shock.
Octavia: Lincoln? What's going on?
She turns to see what they're looking at, and her eyes bulge out at what she sees.
Slumped against the side of the fridge was Millie with a slightly bloated stomach, food wrappers and containers spread amongst the floor as if tossed about, and the fridge door wide open with a massive chunk bitten out. Millie lets out a loud burp as she sighs, then spots everyone else.
Millie: Mornin', y'all…
Lincoln: Mom, what the fuck did you do?!
Millie: What? I was hungry?
Moxxie: Enough to eat a chunk of the fridge?!
Millie gives a sheepish grin, but then lets out another burp.
Millie: Sorry, fellas…
Octavia: *in her head* That's odd… I've known Lincoln's mom for years, and she's never once done this…
Cut to the living world as the words "LATER" appear on the screen, then fade as Moxxie gets kicked against a tree in a forest. He glares up and dodges a knife thrown at him, as the knife embeds into the tree. Moxxie then shoots at a manic looking man, who dodges the bullet. Lincoln tackles the man down and bites his shoulder. The man screams and headbutts Lincoln, then elbows him in the stomach and kicks him off.
Man: FUCKING MUTT! THAT LITTLE SLUT MEGAN SENT YOU WEAKLINGS AFTER ME?! WHAT A COWARD!
He sees Millie picking herself up in anger, having been kicked down earlier, and he grins like a maniac as he charges at her with his knives drawn. Millie glares and lifts her axe to swing at the man's head, but she suddenly turns green in the face, then throws up onto the ground. The target slips on the throw up and falls onto his back. His knives spin in the air and then fall, embedding into the man's neck and forehead, killing him instantly.
Millie: *woozy* Ugh… that works…
Moxxie and Lincoln pick themselves up and go to Millie's aid.
Moxxie: Honey, you okay?!
Millie: *nods* I'm fine… just felt the sudden urge to throw up…
Lincoln: Probably all the food you ate this morning. It's not sitting well.
Millie: Maybe…
She suddenly gets the urge again and goes behind a tree, throwing up. Lincoln and Moxxie are even more concerned.
Cut to a bustling metropolis where the words "THE NEXT DAY", appear in white. Pan down to the city into the murky sewers, waste being poured into the filthy river from the pipes in the walls. Cut to a pool of dumped ooze and garbage where we can see a bit of bubbling. Then, a giant splash occurs, revealing a massive demonic-looking alligator roaring as it is currently trying to crush a panicking Blitzo in its large jaws.
Blitzo: *panicking* How the FUCK did this scaly bastard get to the living world?!
Millie leaps onto the gator's back and drives her knife into its neck, but her blade just snaps off and she gets flung off. Lincoln leaps up and catches her, then brings her to the ground as they both avoid the gator's tail.
Lincoln: *under his breath* Leviathan wasn't kidding when he said his gator gets restless at new places... *speaks up* Okay, Mom. Let's form a tag-team stra- *sees that Millie is gone, much to his confusion* Uh, Mom? Where are you? *looks around*
Millie: *off-screen, frantic* Bathroom!
Lincoln: *flabbergasted* Wha- NOW?!
Millie: *off-screen, strained* This is important, so time out! *groaning is heard from her off-screen*
Lincoln: *face palms, quietly groans* God fucking damn it...
He turns back, only to get slammed into the wall by the gator's tail, cracking it as Lincoln snarls in anger and pain.
Lana: *off-screen* OVER HERE, YOU SCALY SACK OF SHIT! the gator turns, only for Lana to pounce on it and wrap her arms around its snout* Gotcha! *the demon gator tries throwing her off* Whoa! Easy, boy!
Not losing her grip whatsoever, Lana reaches out and pinches the right side of the gator's neck. Squealing out, the alligator quits its thrashing and drops Blitzo as it crashes into the sewage with a mighty splash.
Lana: *the gator lets off some soft snores as she smiles* Sleep tight, big fella. *pats the unconscious demon gator's head*
Blitzo: *picks himself up* Wow, you're pretty good at that.
Lana: *proud grin* I've been wrestlin' demon gators since I was six! *brief flashback shows 6-year old Lana holding an unconscious demon alligator above her head as she speaks from the present* World fuckin' champion!
Blitzo: *back to the present* Badass. *looks around* Where the fuck is Millie?
Lincoln: *picks himself up* Said she needed to use the bathroom.
Blitzo: *confused* Now?! In the middle of a mission?!
Millie soon slumps back on-screen, sighing with content.
Millie: *relieved* Oh fuck... Much better... *glances at everyone* What'd I miss?
Lana: *points at the sleeping gator* The big guy's down for the count.
Lincoln: *concerned* Mom, are you sure you're okay? I mean, first the breakfast incident, then the throwing up, now this?
Millie: *waves it off* Meh, nothin' to worry about, sweetie. Let's just go home. *heads off, much to Lincoln, Blitzo and Lana's confusion*
Cut to a raining canyon where the words "THE DAY AFTER THAT", appear in white. Pan down to the drenched terrain where there is a bloodbath of gang members, along with spilled briefcases of wet cash and containment. Our hellish gang has just ruined a business deal.
Lincoln: *he and Ronnie Anne book it on-screen* SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! *they run off-screen as barrages of bullets soared after them*
Cut to some of the gang members shooting at them with assault rifles, only for Loona to pounce on one and bite his neck out, then jam her claws into another's stomach and rip his intestines out. The third tries to get the drop on her, but Lola stabs him through the back of the head with a knife and slides it up, splitting his face down the middle as his brain spills out. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne leap behind a rock that Lana is occupying, opening fire on some approaching gang members. As Lincoln and Ronnie Anne join Lana on the gunfire, cut behind the trio to show Millie surprisingly sleeping in on the action.
Ronnie Anne: *cut back to her as she glances back, looking surprised to see the sleeping Millie* The fuck?! *elbows Lincoln* Hey, Lame-O! *Lincoln looks at her* Your mom's sleeping on the job!
Lincoln: *confused* What? *looks back and sees exactly that, so he shouts* MOM!
Millie: *snaps awake* Ah! What, what?!
Lincoln: Why are you sleeping on the job?! We're getting hammered here!
Ronnie Anne: Yeah! Help us!
Millie: *her eyes get droopy as she yawns* Eh, you guys got this... I really need some z's here... *instantly goes back to sleep, lightly snoring*
Lincoln: *annoyed* Oh for the love of-! *groans in anger* FUCK IT!
Lincoln decides to just end this now and turns into the Zodiac form he accessed in his fight with Death, then just goes ballistic on the whole gang, tearing every single one to pieces.
Loona: *annoyed* He couldn't have done this earlier?
Lola: *sighs and wipes herself off* Just be happy it's over.
Lincoln, covered in the blood of the gang, turns back to his normal form and aggressively shakes the blood off like he just got out of the shower. Lola and Loona avoid getting splashed with blood.
Lincoln: There.
Lincoln then walks over to his sleeping mother and picks her up, slinging her over his shoulder as she snaps awake again.
Millie: Wha- hey!
Lincoln: *a bit annoyed* Mission's over, Mom.
Millie: *grows sleepy again* Oh... cool... *dozes off once again*
The other hounds just stare.
Ronnie Anne: ... Okay, there's seriously something wrong with her.
Lincoln: Ya think?
Cut back to I.M.P. where the word "NOW" appears in white in front of a frustrated Blitzo.
Blitzo: *stands up in irritation and slaps the "NOW" away* Alright, THAT'S IT! *points at Moxxie* Mox, what the hell is going on?!
Moxxie: *startled* Wha- Why are you asking me, sir?!
Blitzo: You're her hubby for damn's sake, *points at Millie, who's doing her own thing at the moment* and she's been wonky in every mission for the past few days!
Moxxie: How the hell do you expect me to know?! I'm just as confused as you, sir!
Lincoln: I've never seen Mom act like this either!
Ronnie Anne: *shrugs* I've never seen someone act like this either.
Lana and Lola: Me neither./Same.
Loona: *casually as she scrolls through her phone* Maybe she's pregnant.
Everyone: *all glance at Loona with surprised* looks Huh?
Loona: *looks up* I mean, c'mon. The signs are obvious: high hunger, nausea, bathroom problems, drowsiness-
Millie: *pops up, smiling widely* WOW! We racked up so many kills today! *now looks sad* But, so many dead bodies... *starts crying as she drops to the floor*
Loona: *with an eyebrow raised at Millie's display* … and mood swings.
Blitzo: *approaches Millie* Millie, you okay?
Millie: *suddenly stands up, aggressively grabs Blitzo by the neck* BACK THE FUCK OFF! *throws Blitzo into the wall, which startles everyone else*
Blitzo: *dazed and hurt* Yeeeeah... you might be right, Loony...
Moxxie: Well, should we take her to a hospital and find out?
Ronnie Anne: *scoffs* Good luck with that, Mox. The only hospitals are in Sloth, and it takes 5 years just to book a Hellbies Shot appointment.
Lana: Yeah, by the time you do get an appointment, that little one could already be born and headin' to preschool.
Lincoln: Don't worry, guys. *Transition to the Hazbin Hotel as he speaks off-screen* I know who can help us find out.
Cut to Charlie Morningstar as she guides a new guest to a room. The guest is the same one from the Helluva Boss pilot that "lovingly" killed his wife when she cheated on him with the delivery man.
Charlie: Here's your room, sir.
Guest: Thanks. As long as I don't see *demonic voice* THAT FUCKING WHOR- *stops himself and calms down* No, no, just calm down... *sighs* Sorry about that.
Charlie: *smiles* Hey, it's alright. *hands him his key* I'm just glad you're able to calm yourself down.
The guest enters his room as Charlie then walks off, only to encounter Alastor.
Alastor: Charlie, my dear, Lincoln has just arrived and brought his co-workers from the Immediate Murder Professionals.
Charlie: *surprised* Lincoln's here?
Millie: *downstairs, aggressive* OUTTA THE WAY, FUCKING SPIDER BITCH! *glass is heard shattering*
Angel Dust: *downstairs, in pain* OW! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!
Alastor: *Charlie cringes from the sound* Sounds like a quirky bunch.
They go downstairs and see Lincoln and Ronnie Anne holding back a growling Millie as Angel Dust rubs his head. Niffty is cleaning up the broken glass.
Angel Dust: Jeez, I can see where you get your aggression, Linc.
Charlie: *as Lincoln rolls his eyes from Angel Dust's comment* What happened here?!
Lori: *walks over with Vaggie and Leni, sighing at the broken glass Niffty is carrying away* Did Husk literally forget to clean up again?
Husk: *scoffs off-screen* Oh please. *pan to show him sipping beer at the bar* I don't break what I drin, Lori.
Lincoln: *grunts* Hey, guys. *forces Millie to her knees, which seems to calm her down* We came here to find out if Mom's pregnant. She just had a mood swing on Angel Dust.
Ronnie Anne: And the hospitals in Sloth take way too long to even book an appointment, so Lincoln suggested coming here.
Charlie: *quietly to herself* That sounds like Aunt Belle's Ring alright. *speaks up* Well, I don't normally do this, but I'd be happy to take a look at her.
Lincoln: Thanks, Charlie.
Cut to one of the empty rooms in the hallway. Everyone stands before it as Lincoln paces back and forth.
Lana: Linc, you need to stay calm. Your mom's gonna be fine.
Lola: If she is pregnant, then that's gonna be good!
Lincoln: *nervous* I know, but still! What if it's something worse, like a sickness?!
Alastor: Now, now, Lincoln. I may not have met your mother, but I recognize a fighter when I see one. I'm certain she's fine.
Lincoln: *deadpan* That doesn't mean a damn thing coming from you, Radio Demon.
Alastor: *casual shrug* I didn't expect it to.
Niffty: He's not wrong though, Lincoln.
Angel Dust: Yeah, man. Chillax.
Vaggie: As much as I hate agreeing with Alastor and Angel Dust, he's right.
That's when Charlie opens the door and peeks in, looking absolutely giddy.
Charlie: *giddy* Lincoln, Moxxie, you two need to come in here!
Surprised, Lincoln and Moxxie follow Charlie into the room, which soon shuts again.
Blitzo: *confused* So... is this good? *everyone shrugs*
Cut inside to show Lincoln and Moxxie following a smiling Charlie.
Moxxie: *concerned* So, what did you find out?
Lincoln: *concerned* Is Mom okay?
Charlie: *smiling* She's more than okay.
They enter the room where Millie is laying on a bed. She looks up when she sees Charlie enter, Moxxie and Lincoln right behind.
Millie: *sits up a bit* Hey, boys.
Moxxie sits next to her and hugs her, as Lincoln hugs her too.
Lincoln: Are you okay, Mom?
Millie: *grinning* I'm on top of the world, Linc! Look! *points at her belly, which looked a bit bigger*
Moxxie and Lincoln stare for a moment, their eyes widening.
Moxxie: *looks back up at his wife* Millie, are you really-?!
Millie: *starts to tear up* I am, Mox...! I'm pregnant...! We're havin' a baby...!
Cut back to the others, when...
Lincoln: *off-screen, extremely excited* NO FUCKING WAY!
Husk: *almost startled that he nearly drops his beer* What the hell?!
Vaggie: *startled* What was that?
Lori: *smiles* I think that literally confirms the pregnancy.
Cut back to Lincoln and his parents.
Moxxie: *starting to tear up in excitement* Y-You're serious?! We-We're gonna have a baby?!
Millie: smiling Yep. *wipes her tears and looks at Lincoln* Know what that means, Linc?
Lincoln: *his eyes are teary* I'm gonna be a big brother...!
Lincoln hugs his parents happily, his tail wagging faster than ever before.
Lincoln: *excitedly* I'm getting a baby brother or sister...!
Breaking the hug, he looks at a touched Charlie.
Lincoln: Thank you so much, Charlie. This... *sighs* This really means a lot to us.
Charlie: *smiles* It was my pleasure, Lincoln.
Cut to Joe and Lin's farmhouse as the family works on the ranch. The phone is heard ringing inside, catching Lin's attention. She's currently a bit busy with moving hay bales.
Lin: *calls out* Sallie May, ya mind answerin' that?!
Sallie May: Sure thing, Ma! *runs into the house*
Lin: *moves the last bale into place* There... *wipes the sweat off her forehead* Phew!
Cut to the ringing phone in the living room, where Sallie May runs on-screen and answers it.
Sallie May: Hello? *gibberish is heard* Oh, howdy, Linc! *more gibberish, which makes her surprised* Huh? *gibberish, and then her eyes widened* Wait, what?! *cut outside the house* WHAT?!
The whole family was startled by her yell, and a Hellbull even kicks Zeke into the fence out of panic as then runs across the field.
Zeke: *gets up like nothing happened* The hell's got her screamin'?
Sallie May bursts out of the house, grinning like a child as she shouts loud enough for the entire farm to hear.
Sallie May: MILLIE'S PREGNANT!
The whole family's eyes bulged out.
Millie's Family: *shocked* WHAT?!
The family drops whatever chore they're doing and quickly surrounds Sallie May.
Sallie May: *smiling* It's true! Linc just called, he said that Millie's gonna grace us with a new bundle of joy!
Lin: *excited* We're getting another grandbaby?!
Joe runs into the house, then comes back out with the keys to the truck.
Joe: *excited* Everyone in the truck! Now!
The family runs to the truck as Joe and Lin get in the front seats, and their children leap into the truck bed.
Joe: *he and Lin buckle up* Now hang on! *slams on the gas pedal*
The back wheels squeal before the family races out of the ranch at full speed, Sallie May and her brothers cheering.
Cut to Moxxie and Millie's apartment, then inside the living room as Lincoln and Moxxie are seen helping Millie to the couch.
Millie: *chuckles* Boys, boys, I can handle myself.
Moxxie: We know, but we're just making sure you and the baby are okay!
Lincoln: *as Millie sits down* I still can't believe this, Mom! You're pregnant! How far along did Charlie say you were?
Millie: About six, almost seven weeks.
Lincoln: *smiles* I can't wait. *someone is heard knocking on the door* I'll get that. *walks up to the front door and opens it*
Zeke, Teke, Deke, Eke, and Sallie May: *off-screen, excitedly* DOGPILE THE NEWPHEW!
Before Lincoln could react, his uncles and aunt rush inside and tackle him to the floor.
Lincoln: OOF! *laughs* Every time!
He throws them off as they laugh, then pick themselves up and hug as Joe and Lin walk in.
Millie: *smiles* Mama! Daddy!
Lin: *she and Joe walk up to Millie, she smiles* Howdy, sweetie!
Joe: *smiles* How's our little girl?
Millie: Feelin' really good, Daddy.
Moxxie: *shakes hands with Lin* Good to see you two again, Lin and Joe. *shakes hands with Joe* But, uh, pardon me asking: what brings you here?
Joe: *chuckles* Ain't it obvious? Our grandson shared the news over the phone!
Lincoln: *chuckles* They'd have kicked my ass if I didn't tell them sooner.
Deke: Damn right we would've.
Octavia: *off-screen* Tell them what?
Everyone looks and sees Octavia enter the room, curiously tilting her head.
Lincoln: *smiles* Hey, Via. *approaches her* I'm gonna be a big brother!
Octavia: *her eyes widen* What?! *points to Millie* You mean she's-?! *Lincoln nods, as she smiles* Linky, that's great!
Lincoln: *nods* Yep! In fact, when the time comes, *takes her hands* I was hoping to appoint you as the official babysitter.
Octavia: *blushes and smiles* Linky, I'd be happy to do so.
Lincoln: *smiles* I knew I could count on my owl princess. *kisses her cheek*
Millie: You'll do great, Octavia. Now, anyone wanna take a feel? *her belly shuffles a bit* I think I can feel the baby move.
Moxxie puts his hand on his wife's stomach, feeling it move slightly.
Moxxie: *smiles* They're definitely moving, Millie.
Lincoln takes a turn to feel it.
Lincoln: You're right, Da- *the shift turns into a kick, which sends Lincoln off-screen* GAH! crashes* Ow!
Octavia: *startled* Lincoln! *rushes to his side, as he's slightly indented into the wall* Are you okay?!
Lincoln: *a bit dazed as Octavia pulls him out of the wall* The baby definitely has Mom's strength...
Lin: *laughs* That's how Wrath Imp Pregnancy is, sugar. The baby is a hella strong kicker. I know from experience.
Joe: *lets out a heartfelt laugh* Our new grandbaby's gonna be great in the festival!
Zeke: And around the farm!
Deke: *cut outside the apartment as the conversation goes on* Maybe she can handle Brutus the hellbull!
Eke: *inside* Or beat Zeke at arm wrestling.
Teke: *inside, laughs as Zeke is heard growling* Yes, please!
Lin: *inside, chuckles* It's a little too soon for all of that, everyone!
Sallie May: *inside* Hey, Mil. Can I show your kid how to kick your ass in the festival?
Millie: *inside, scoffs* Fuck off, Sal!
It fades to later in the evening. Cut to Moxxie in bed as he wakes up a bit, noticing Millie not in the bed with him. A bit concerned, he climbs out of bed and leaves the room, looking for his wife.
Moxxie: *whispers* Millie?
He notices a light on and music coming from the living room. He peeks his head in, seeing Millie on the couch with music playing next to her. Then… Moxxie hears his Angel of Death start to sing.
Millie: 6 pounds and 9 ounces, lookin' up at me
Like I have all the answers
Moxxie hadn't heard his wife sing in a while, but he remembered just how beautiful her voice was.
Millie: I hope, I have the ones you need
I've never really done this, now I know what scared is
Moxxie knew she was singing to their baby, and he couldn't help but smile.
Millie: Sometimes, I'll protect you from everything that's wrong
Other times, I'll let you just find out on your own
But that's when you'll be growin'
And the whole time I'll be knowin'
Moxxie walks into the room and sits next to Millie, who notices him and smiles.
Millie: You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair but if you hang in there
Moxxie puts his hand on Millie's stomach, feeling the baby gently moving inside.
Millie: You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be
Moxxie: *smiles* I almost forgot how beautiful your singing voice is.
Millie blushes a deeper shade of red as she smiles, continuing to sing.
Millie: I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes
Lord knows I'll be trying, oh, to give you what it takes
What it takes to know the difference between getting by and livin'
Moxxie's tail intertwines with Millie's.
Millie: Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make
So make sure you're always givin' way more than you're takin'
Moxxie decides to join his wife in singing to their baby.
Moxxie and Millie: You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you just hang in there
Moxxie puts his arm around his wife and unborn child.
Moxxie and Millie: You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be
Someone's everything
You're gonna see
Just what you are to me
The baby's movement in her stomach begins to slow down.
Moxxie and Millie: You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be, always loved by me
The couple smile at each other as Millie then lays her head on Moxxie's shoulder. Moxxie smiles and kisses her on the forehead.
Fade to a bit later in the evening as Lincoln walks out of the bathroom and goes to head back to his room, but passes the living room and looks in. He stops and smiles as he sees his parents laying on the couch, with Millie resting her head on Moxxie's chest. He walks in and picks up the blanket off the chair and puts it over them both, then puts his hand on Millie's stomach, feeling it briefly move from the inside.
Lincoln: *smiles, quietly* Goodnight, little sibling.
With that, he leaves the room to let his parents sleep.
A/N: The song was "You're Gonna Be" by the legendary Reba McEntire.