Happy Thursday! In today's chapter things begin to change for our ODC. Thanks again for all you support and comments. Enjoy! Lily B.
Chapter 8
March 1812
Cheapside, London
Dearest Lizzy,
I hope you are well and enjoy living in Derbyshire. I could wait no longer to share the news of our recent reversal of fortune. As you know, your uncle's previous business partner turned out to be a scoundrel who took all our money and fled the country. The other importers in London knew about the treachery that robbed us of our livelihood, but knew Edward was in no way responsible. I am so proud of my husband's stellar reputation and three months ago, he was asked to join R. Johnson and Son, a well-established import firm as a partner. It seems, the present Mr. Johnson's father ran the business until his untimely death and his son was ill-prepared for his new position. That is why he was so eager to partner with your uncle.
I am delighted to tell you that things are back to how they once were, in fact, even better. We are moving to a larger home and have already started attending parties, the theatre, and the opera. We would be delighted to welcome you back to live with us in London for as long as you wish. Please let us know when we can expect your arrival.
With love,
Madeline Gardiner
P.S. I do remember hearing stories about the cottage at Pemberley Park. The details escape me, but I remember thinking it must be a magical place.
Elizabeth was so happily surprized by what she read, her hand rose to her chest, and she shook her head in disbelief at this wonderful turn of events for her beloved relatives. She had taken the letter outdoors to read in the fresh air; Darcy was walking toward the cottage when he spotted her sitting alone. "Are you well, Miss Bennet? You have an unusual look on your face. I hope your letter does not contain any bad news. Is your family well?"
"I was so absorbed in reading I did not hear you. Everyone in my family is well, I thank you. My aunt has written their happy news; their financial woes are over, and she has invited me to rejoin the family in London."
His face fell and he struggled to speak. He cleared his throat and forced himself to ask, "will you be leaving Derbyshire soon?"
"I hardly know what to do." Hoping beyond reason he would suggest her staying there and marrying him. "What would you advise?"
"You should do what is best for you. You are a gentleman's daughter forced into service by unfortunate circumstances. If you can live the life you should, why not jump at the chance?"
She rose from the bench and angrily brushed the dirt from her skirt. "If you wished me to leave, you should have told me long ago."
"It is not my wish, leaving or staying is your choice."
"Pray excuse me, sir, I must return to the house and prepare for dinner." As she walked past him, he could not control himself and held her arm to stop her. When she looked up at him, she thought she could see tenderness in his eyes. He said nothing as he nodded and gently removed his hand.
Insufferable man! Does he care about me or not? I should leave in the morning and teach him a lesson! Perhaps I should 'accidently' meet Mr Butler again. He seems eager to spend time with me and is a very pleasant gentleman. I can see myself being happy as a vicar's wife. If I leave here tomorrow, I will never see Mr Darcy or Mr Butler again.
Elizabeth was walking near the manor house several days after receiving her aunt's letter when she saw Mr Butler coming toward her. I had no idea I would meet Mr Butler again so soon.
"Good afternoon, Miss Bennet. You look very well today."
"Mr Butler, how nice to see you. I did not expect to see you here."
"I have a meeting with Mr Martin and thought I would stop here in hopes of seeing you again."
"I was just looking at the damage to the exterior of the house again. It must have been a magnificent structure if this is what remains."
"Someone mentioned the fire to me; do you know what happened?"
"I was not here then; all I heard was that the blaze was so widespread it could not be put out; the gardens, orchards and crops were also destroyed. Mr Darcy was badly injured ensuring everyone was outside."
"Several of his former tenants are worshiping with me in Lambton and told me they are looking forward to returning to Pemberley Park." She stumbled on a small rock and lost her balance; Mr Butler took hold of her arm until she was upright.
"Thank you, sir. The ground here is quite uneven" She was happy he did not immediately let go of her once they began walking again.
Elizabeth spotted Darcy nearing them and indicated as such to her companion. "I must be going but it was a pleasure seeing you again."
She watched Mr Butler tip his hat as he walked past Darcy, climbed into an old phaeton and rode away. She was innocently following the vicar's progress when Darcy neared her and asked brusquely, "what was he doing here?"
She did not know why he was speaking to her in that way, but she knew she did not like it. "He stopped by on his way to see Mr Martin."
"Do you and he have an understanding?" He asked coldly.
"We do not, sir! And if we did, it would not be any of your concern." She bobbed a shallow curtsey and walked toward the cottage. Now it was his turn to watch her walk away.
If I would have known what a nuisance Butler would become, I would never have awarded him the living in Lambton.
Darcy was working at the desk in the library when Mrs Reynolds announced Mr Martin's arrival. Darcy stood holding onto his desk for balance and offered the vicar his hand. "You are looking very well, sir. I am happy to see you at work on what I am confident is estate business."
"Yes, there is so much to do and consider. The tenants and crops are the easy part, dealing with the repairs and construction is quite another matter."
"In time, sir, in time. Pemberley House was not built in a day, and it will take time for it to be restored. Several tenants told me they have moved back and are looking forward to the upcoming growing season."
"It will not be long before we start planting. The livestock are doing well, and I hope the orchards will bear fruit again in the next year or two."
"I am delighted with the progress you and Pemberley Park are making; I see you are no longer using your cane."
"I will have an uneven gait for the rest of my life, but I am satisfied that I can walk on my own."
"I understand you have been spending a great deal of time with Miss Bennet. She is a lovely young woman who appears to be well bred."
"She is a gentleman's daughter who was recently forced into service by circumstances beyond her control. Her previous employer was injured in a carriage accident, and she helped Mrs Murray walk again. Miss Bennet has been kind to me and helped me with the exercises I need to strengthen my leg. She undoubtedly pities me as I feel sorry for her."
"Is there nothing more to it than that? Do you have any affection for her? How do you think she feels about you?"
"I know I feel better whenever I am with her, and she makes me laugh and smile as no one has ever done before. She has a lively manner and a cheerfulness about her that always makes me feel happy. As you know I did not have the best attitude following the fire and she has made me feel alive again. She was educated by her father, knows as least as much as anyone I knew at Cambridge. We have been walking longer distances almost daily and have discussed topics about which I never dreamed a young woman could be so knowledgeable."
"Sounds like you may be falling in love with her."
"To what end?" Darcy scoffed, "my family will never approve of her, a servant! How can I disregard my loyalty to my family and our legacy? They expect me to marry for wealth; someone from the best families in the ton. I know what my duty demands of me. I could never consider her as mistress of Pemberley Park."
"You just said she is a gentleman's daughter who has helped you become yourself again and aided you learning to walk on your own. Do you truly need the approval of others? Why does anyone need to know about Miss Bennet's brief period of employment? You are your own man, quite wealthy and can marry whomever you choose. Your family loves you and will support whatever decisions you make. Mr Butler has visited me several times for my advice and each time he does, he asks after Miss Bennet."
"Yes, sometimes he stops here on his way to Kympton to spend time with her. She told me they do not have an understanding." Both men were silent for a moment. "Thank you for your visit, Mr Martin, you have given me a great deal to think about." If only it was as easy as he suggested. True, I may choose anyone I wish to marry but the repercussions of such a decision will affect many people. Perhaps she would be better off with the vicar; he said he is from a wealthy family so she would always be well provided for.
That night the master of Pemberley Park was engaged in a happy dream…
How I wish we could leave this blasted party! My wife looks too tempting in her new gown with the Darcy jewels sparkling around her neck. I wish I could hold her and kiss her as passionately as I would like but I am forced to control my urges. Georgiana's debut season compels us to accept invitations to all these ridiculous balls and I will do everything I can to ease my sister's way into society. I would much rather be at home in bed with my lovely Elizabeth in my arms. I am so happy I listened to my heart and chose the perfect woman for me. Darcy smiled as he rolled over in bed and reached out to the empty space beside him dreaming Elizabeth was there. Touching the cold sheet woke him. I should not be dreaming of Elizabeth Bennet, I owe it to my family to marry well, even if I am crippled and my face is scarred.
Elizabeth was alone in the kitchen when Mrs Reynolds entered. "Do you have a few minutes to spare, ma'am?"
"Of course, I was just coming in to have a cup of tea."
When she was seated, Elizabeth told her about the contents of her aunt's most recent letter and Darcy's response. "You are a perceptive woman and can probably tell I have deep feelings for Mr Darcy. When I told him of my aunt's invitation to return to London, his reaction was dismissive. Spending so much time together has only served to encourage my affection for him but evidently not his feelings for me. Mr Butler and I have seen each other several times; although our encounters have lasted only a few moments, unlike Mr Darcy, he appears to hold me in some esteem."
"My dear girl, I have known Mr Darcy since he was a little boy and I can see by the way he behaves that he cares very deeply for you. He has been isolated here for most of the past five years and is often awkward and unable to express his thoughts to other people. In my opinion, he does not know what to do with his feelings – he is badly scarred and until recently, depended on a cane to walk; he believes no woman would want him as he is. Life has dealt my dear Master Fitzwilliam some very hard blows; losing his parents has made him even more cautious to care for someone lest they too be taken from him. His parents would be so proud of the way he has cared for his sister and recovered from the fire, but he does not see things that way. I have seen his eyes following you wherever you go, and his face lights up when you enter a room. Pray stay here a little longer and I feel certain you will soon learn how much he cares for you. As for Mr Butler, only you can decide if you return his feelings."
"I hardly know him; our encounters have been brief and infrequent. My feelings for Mr Darcy are the only emotions I can think about."
Not long after Elizabeth received the letter from her aunt, Darcy asked her to sit beside him in the drawing room. He looked in her eyes and spoke quietly, "I hope you will decide to stay here. I am grateful to you; you have changed my life for the better. Please say you will not go."
"I thank you for saying that. I am inclined to remain in Derbyshire but when I told you of my aunt's invitation to live in London, you seemed not to care whether or not I remained here."
"Your question surprised me, that is all. I was unprepared to say anything at that time. I have been trained to make important decisions only after careful deliberation."
"Very well, I will stay for now." After a short pause, she continued. "Why are you staring at my face?"
"I apologize. I remember you saying your sisters said your birthmark looks like a plum; I was just thinking it looks more like a map of England." He smiled mistakenly thinking he had said the right thing.
"Excuse me, I must return to my duties." Although she had few responsibilities in the cottage, she knew she could not remain seated beside him. How terrible! He thinks my face looks like a map! He asked me to stay here but will not come near me in any way. I am a fool to think this man could ever care for me as I do him. Should I encourage Mr Butler to see me more often or arrange my transportation to London? I must soon decide what will be best for me.
Darcy watched her walk away suddenly gripped with anxiety. Have I made a terrible mistake asking her to stay here? Have I given her false hope? Will she think asking her to stay is tantamount to a proposal? I care for her but despite her status as a gentleman's daughter, she is a maid; nothing can ever change that. What would my family say? Would they refuse to meet her? She is a wonderful young woman and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. We both may be better off if she marries the vicar. I hope I have done the right thing.
After asking Elizabeth to remain in Derbyshire, he had trouble sleeping; he could not get the words he spoke to her out of his mind. Night after night he debated with himself about what he should do. He did not wish to hurt her feelings but was asking her to remain in Derbyshire the same as asking for her hand? I need her in my life and do not wish to lose her to another man. What of my family's reaction? If need be, Lady Matlock can sponsor my sister's debut and Georgiana will not be adversely affected by my choice of wife. Mr Martin was right, I am my own man, able to make any decision I believe will make me happy. She makes every day worth living and I cannot see a future without her. Are my feelings for her love? Can I tell her my thoughts if I am unsure myself? She always seems happy when we are together, but does she care for me? I must decide what I should do.
April 1812
Pemberley
Dearest Georgiana,
I cannot tell you how much I miss you and hope you are well and happy staying with our aunt and uncle in London. It may surprise you to learn that I am planning to ask a young woman I met in Lambton for her hand. Her name is Elizabeth Bennet and her father's estate is in Hertfordshire. When you meet her, I know you will love having her as a sister.
All the Darcy jewels were stolen during the fire but I am relieved to tell you they have been recovered and Richard will bring them when he next comes north. Your silver jewellery box was found in the rubble and I would like to give Elizabeth one of our mother's rings. I will replace it with one of the family jewels and return our mother's bequest to you as soon as may be. I will write again when my plans are finalized, and I will tell you more about my future wife. Please say nothing to anyone until it is all settled.
For now, I remain,
Your loving brother
Fitzwilliam
April 1812
Matlock House, London
Fitzwilliam,
I am so happy for you! Elizabeth must be someone very special and I am excited to meet her as soon as you tell me I may. Of course, you may give your betrothed one of mother's rings and she may keep it as long as she likes. My dear brother, I believe our parents are smiling down on you and wishing you all the happiness you deserve. We shall return to Derbyshire soon and I look forward to seeing you and your betrothed soon.
Your loving sister,
Georgiana
Darcy asked Elizabeth to join him on one of the benches in the garden. "Thank you for meeting me, Miss Bennet. There is something important I would like to ask you." She was sitting on his right side, and he looked at the perfect left side of her beautiful face, her delicate brows, her sparkling eyes, and her full pink lips. She will never say yes - she does not care for me; she pities a crippled, scarred man.
Her heart raced as she looked straight ahead. He will never ask me what I want him to ask. I am but a servant in his house and he could never ask me to be his wife. Perhaps he wishes to know when I would like to return to London.
"Elizabeth you are a kind, compassionate person; you have an exuberance that lights up every room you enter. You are more knowledgeable than any woman I have ever met, and you are not afraid to express your own opinions. I hope you will say you will be my wife."
She was glad he could not see her face, lest he detect the look of shock and sadness. That was his proposal of marriage? He said I am kind but spoke no words of affection for me, much less love. As much as I have dreamed of his asking for my hand, there was absolutely no emotion in his abrupt request. If he does not care for me, why did he ask me to be his wife? "Mr Darcy, I am grateful for your offer but I cannot marry you. I am a housemaid with a hideous red mark on my face. You should marry a belle of the ton."
"My aunt introduced me to so many of these so called belles that their names and faces are nothing but a blur in my mind. They had no real interest in me, only my wealth and connexions. All they sought was a life of affluence and extravagance. I am a gentleman, and you are a gentleman's daughter; we are equals."
"Perhaps in station but not in consequence. You are the affluent grandson and nephew of an earl and I have no connexion to anyone in the ton. Even before my father's death we lived a simple life, nothing compared to the way you are used to living. I fear if my mother fails to control my sisters' unsuitable behaviours,my family will be dangerously close to losing its respectability."
"I understand. I am scarred and can hardly walk on my own; that is why you will not have me."
"You should not say those things; I have not seen you use your cane in many weeks. You must trust in yourself once again."
"How can I? I am filled with nothing but fear and self-doubts."
"Do you remember you told me everything you did before the fire? You were an excellent master of this vast estate, and you will be once again. Before you were injured, you managed your tenants, the crops, and the livestock; not to mention all your other properties and investments. So many people depended on your guidance and good sense; nothing can prevent you from fulfilling that role once again."
"But how? There is so much to be done and I am uncertain I am up to the challenge. I must relearn everything I once knew about land drainage, crop rotations, estate management and so much more. Everything sounds easy to accomplish when you say it. You will know what the right decisions should be. I need someone I can trust by my side; I need you."
Elizabeth ignored his last statement as her mind was still buzzing with his startling proposal. "Start slowly and restore Pemberley Park to what it once was. Begin to rebuild the manor house one section at a time. It is time to cultivate the land so new crops can be planted. Have the burned sections of the orchards pruned back so they can once again bear fruit."
"I see you have already planned my future for me. Mrs Reynolds gave me similar advice when I was overwhelmed by what was required of me when my father died. How can I accomplish any of those things without you? Please say you will be my wife."
She looked at the man beside her, Am I awake? This cannot be happening. Me, married to Fitzwilliam Darcy and the mistress of Pemberley Park? Me, on the arm of this tall handsome man? I love looking at his dark wavy hair and his strong chin, but he has yet to say a word about how he feels about me. Besides, such a man could never truly love me. What should I say? "You are only asking because you think no one else will marry you except someone who looks like me. I do not have the education or experience that would have prepared me properly for such a role."
"Elizabeth, you are wrong, I like being with you. You are not afraid to suggest I rest in my room when I feel sorry for myself, and my mood turns dark. I hope you have noticed that the more time we spend together, I have experienced fewer episodes of melancholy. I love the sound of your laughter, how you pour all your emotions into your playing and singing. You lift my spirits every time you walk into the room. Is being together not better than being alone?"
"I cannot be your wife simply because you feel you should be married, and I am conveniently here."
"I am a fool to think you could ever care for me. A hideous face and a bad leg," he muttered as he hung his head. "I suppose you would rather marry Mr Butler."
"That is not it; I hardly know Mr Butler. I have come to think of you as much more than a friend."
He took her hand, "thank you, Elizabeth. I hoped you cared for me."
Does he have feelings for me? I want to say yes but what kind of marriage would we have if my feelings are one sided.
"What say we make it official and tell everyone we are getting married?"
She took a deep breath and sighed, "it seems there is no arguing with you. Yes, Mr Darcy, I would be honoured to be your wife."
He took his mother's ring from his pocket and placed it on her finger. "Pray call me Fitzwilliam."
"It is so beautiful, thank you."
"When the Darcy jewels are returned, you will have many other rings to choose from."
"Fitzwilliam, I could never love another ring more than this one."
He took her hand in his as he helped her stand. "Shall we return to the cottage?"
Elizabeth was disappointed that her betrothed failed to kiss her or show her any sign of affection.
"I suppose I will have to move out of the cottage until we are married."
"For propriety's sake I believe you are right. Would Mrs Hopkins welcome you to stay with her again?"
"She was very kind to me when I first arrived in Lambton, but she will soon have a full house as her son and his family will be visiting her."
"In that case Mrs Reynolds will hire a lady's maid to stay with you at the Rose and Crown. I will send a carriage for you every morning so we can spend the day together as we do now."
"I think that is an excellent plan, sir."
They walked back to the cottage arm in arm; Elizabeth was thrilled to be walking so close to him and felt safe and protected for the first time since her father's death. I only have one wish: my betrothed will soon speak of his feelings for me. I will not speak of how much I love him until then.
May 1812
Asking Elizabeth to become his wife was the motivation Darcy needed to plan the rebuilding. Since his recovery, he had spent many hours at his desk, listing the necessary changes from the original structure he wanted and sketching possible ideas for the new manor house. When he was certain he knew what he wanted, he met with his steward, John Bethel, and presented his ideas. "Rebuilding the north side of the house should come first, the family wing, a small drawing and dining room, kitchen, and the servants' quarters first. Parts of the old house were always dark; the number of windows must be increased to allow for as much natural light as possible. I have drawn out some ideas of how I would like the new Pemberley House to look." After he finished showing Bethel his plans, he asked, "how long do you think it will take?"
"It all depends on how many men we can hire and how soon we can acquire all the lumber, tools, and furnishings. Before we do anything else, we must repair the damage to the roof and build a temporary staircase before we can make the floors on the second storey safe for the builders."
"I plan to be married soon and would like to move into the manor house as soon as possible. I will give you as much money as you need to accomplish the job; the future Mrs Darcy and Mrs Reynolds can order all the furnishings as soon as the framing of the rooms is completed."
Bethel shook Darcy's hand, "I congratulate you on your forthcoming nuptials, sir. If you will excuse me, I will ride to Lambton and see where we stand with building supplies and hiring the right men to do the work."
"Thank you, Bethel. Spare no expense, I want the job done well."
He wanted to be generous but his nagging doubts about his betrothal caused him to hesitate to decide the terms of the marriage settlement. Shortly after asking for her hand, he and Elizabeth had decided to marry at the end of June. Sending his requests to London and waiting for Mr Hartford to respond would take too long and he was unwilling to travel to town. If there were any changes that needed to be made to the settlement, the process could take many months. He heard there was a new young solicitor in Lambton and Darcy planned to call on him soon.
"Will you describe what one would see when they entered the house? It was obviously a very large structure judging from the brick and stone which remain."
As they entered through the charred front door, Darcy pointed out different areas to her. "This was the entry hall, and as you can see, the towering ceiling was adorned by a magnificent fresco which I hope can be restored or repainted one day. Lady Beatrice told me she was planning to paint it over because 'frescoes were so passe'." They shook their heads at the absurdity of her comment. "During the times we were not in residence, visitors were welcome to tour the gardens and some of the public rooms of the house." Darcy pointed to the charred remains on one side of the entrance, "there was, and will be again, a grand staircase leading to the upper floors. If you look down through the soot, you will see the pattern of black and white marble tiles which remain. These portraits of my Darcy ancestors hung in the gallery upstairs and the furniture and other artwork were chosen by my mother. I remember her chambers had lovely lace curtains and beautiful wallpaper replicating the colours of her garden. When the rebuilding is complete, you will decorate your rooms to your liking. It is not yet safe to show you the library. Until the floors above us are no longer in danger of collapse, this is as far as we can go."
"You have lost so much for one so young."
He placed his hand over hers, "yes, but since I met you, look how much I have gained."
"Fitzwilliam Darcy, I knew you could be romantic if you tried."
"I can be charming at times," he replied playfully, "until now, I never met anyone I wanted to charm." He had a sinking feeling in his stomach as the words left his lips and knew he was acting a part; not speaking the truth about his feelings but what he felt Elizabeth wanted to hear.
"When my younger sisters described some handsome young man as charming, my father always said, 'there is no charm equal to the tenderness of the heart'."
"Your father sounds like a wise man." More than anything, he wished he felt some tenderness for the woman beside him.
"Yes, he was wise and intelligent and a scholar. However, he did our family a great disservice with his lack of initiative to care more for his estate and provide something for his family's future after he left us. My mother is also responsible."
"How so?"
"She should have demanded my father make provisions for his family after his death. She never thought about the future; she was too busy gossiping and finding husbands for her daughters to think beyond what her girls would wear to the next assembly."
"Your family has been resourceful since your father's death; no one is starving or sleeping in a barn."
"Yes, I suppose you are correct. I loved my father, but I will always be disappointed in his lack of foresight. After their weddings, I was looking forward to being a loving aunt to Jane and Mary's children." Tears filled her eyes as she continued, "but I was the Bennet sister forced to go into service and that disgrace will never leave me." They walked in silence until she regained her composure. "On a happy note, I would never have met you if I had not been forced to move to Lambton." Darcy did not reply but patted the hand that rested on his arm.