I sat there on the couch, with a black T-shirt on and a pair of cargo pants, staring at the wall. I didn't want to smoke. What kind of monster would go to a barbecue high on her balls. Well ovaries, cuz I don't have balls. What the fuck is my thought process? I sat there, waiting for Lily to finish taking a leak in the bathroom. Perhaps it was number 2, judging by her loud grunts. Or 3? Fucking phantoms now is she? It's already six PM.
"How long are you gonna butter your muffin up?!" I yelled from the couch, jokingly.
"I'm almost off! Don't ruin it!" She yelled back, jokingly too. Well, it sounded like she was joking. Silence, and flush. She opened the door and she got out. "I regret eating the TV dinner. Why the hell didn't I listen to ya when you told me not to eat that shit. I should've put it in the fridge."
"I don't want to say that I told you so, but, I told you so," I said smugly. "Need to go to the clinic? I can rain check the barbecue with Crown." I asked as I got up from the couch. Lily held her hand up telling me to stop.
"Don't you fucking dare stop me from getting free food." She replied as she slid her jacket on.
"How the fuck are you still skinny?" I replied as I grabbed my jacket.
"I have a parasite growing in me," Lily said as she rubbed her belly. "Is it considered a parasite or fermented jizz?"
"I don't want to answer that question," We got out of the house, and we went down to the sidewalk. Not even 15 minutes later, a blue late 90s model sedan pulled over and the windows rolled down.
"Hey Luna! Lily too! Get in," Jim said from the driver's seat. I reached for the backseat but Lily pushed my hand to the front seat. I entered the car on the passenger's seat and I sat down. The car felt homely. It felt like something I've missed a lot. Something nostalgic.
"Hey Crown," I said. I looked at him. I swear to god, this relationship is weird, but I need it. Somehow? I don't know why. But I feel great. I like feeling great. "Umm... Nice car-" I couldn't finish my sentence. Lily sniffed loudly.
"It smells like Vanzilla," Lily groaned. I looked at the back and I saw her melted on the seats.
"Can't you be more polite?"
"You smoke like a chimney, you cuss a lot, get high and puked on carpet, isn't that very hypocritical of you? Cunt?" Lily replied as she puts her legs up on the seat. Crown laughed.
"touché," I nodded.
"LORI, YOU IDIOT! HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Lincoln yelled from his new old car. Lori slowly, drunk, smells like a skunk, threw the luggage in the boot and jumped in the back seat. " WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRUNK?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DRIVE!"
"I'm tired, good night," Lori arrived in dreamland. Lincoln's face turned red in anger. Pissed. Very fucking pissed.
"God give me patience, I really don't want to strangle this bitch today," Lincoln muttered to himself.
I saw the scenery change from pines to oak, and finally, a bit of grassland. There's a house, a white 1-story wooden house, down on the dirt side road. Though it's only one story, I'm pretty sure there's more than one stories told inside. Crown drove the car through the side road and parked the car in front of the house. "You guys are early, the other guests aren't here yet, so umm... You can run around if you'd like." Crown said as he killed the engine. We got out of the car and he showed us the door. "I'm home!" He yelled. "My cousin's preparing the food in the kitchen I think, come on in." Crown said.
"Pardon the intrusion!" Lily yelled as she rushed in. Shameless.
"Damn it Lily," I slapped my face. Crown laughed.
He lead us to the kitchen, and I saw two women marinating beef in barbecue sauce. The young one looked younger than me, and the other one looked older than mom by a decade. "Ah, it's John," The young one said as she pulled her head up. "I didn't know you had a dick," She teased him. The older woman slapped the back of the young one's head and turned around to look at us.
"Shut it," Crown replied. "Well, um, this is Luna Loud, and the shorter one is Lily, her sister."
"You weren't lying when you said you're bringing that rockstar home," The older woman had her mouth agape. "Anyways, the name's Janice, the dumbass here is Debra. Nice to meet you two, Luna and Lily." She washed her hands and she reached in for a handshake. I quickly shook her hand. "I hope my nephew here didn't cause you too much trouble," She smiled. "He's a bit of wet blanket sometimes, I still don't know how he became a cop. This dumbass is like that pink dog in that old cartoon, forgot his name though," I saw Crown's face turn a bit red in embarrassment. She laughed and she went to the fridge, turning her back.
"It's Courage mom,"
"Ah, that dog,"
"Oh," I thought. So that's what the sheriff meant.
"Also, John, did you get the beer?" Debra asked as she threw a piece of marinated meat in a basin.
"Shit, I forgot!" Crown slapped his own face disappointedly.
"Language!" Janice said as she stuck her head out of the cold confines of the ice box.
"Sorry!" Crown replied. "I'm gonna go fetch the beer,"
"Bring your girlfriend with you!" Janice shouted from the fridge.
"Oh, um, we're not... we're not together like that, we're not in that relationship. Yet." Crown said. "I mean, we kissed once, just once,"
"Yeah, we're just friends for now," I continued. I looked down.
"Whatever you two are right now, get the dang beers," Janice replied as she took out a tub of moose tracks. "Lily was it, I hope you like moose tracks because that's the only flavor we have right now,"
"I never say no to free food," Lily replied as she sat down. How can she be so shameless sometimes?
Janice looked at me, her eyes wide in shock, but not anger shock, it was delighted. I don't know how to describe her face. "I like your sister, can I take her in?" She teased. "Go now you two,"
"Hey Jord..." Lincoln said to his phone. His seat reclined and his feet on the steering wheel. He had parked the car on the side of the road. "Any news at home front?"
"Nothing much, Lynn had to go back to work, she flew back home yesterday. Leni and Chaz had to go home too, Chaz got work." Jordan's voice buzzed through. Mom is still going town to town. Still no news though." She sighed. "Anyways,"
"How are you, hon?" Lincoln stretched a small smile.
"I'm okay. How about you dear?"
"I'm... Well Lori crashed the Camaro, we're still not there yet, would probably spend the night on the road and continue trying to find Luna in the morning, hopefully Lily's with her as Lisa theorized." He said with a slight chuckle. "God, the gas is expensive."
"Yeah, we all need some good news here," Jordan chuckled. "How are you feeling?"
"I told you I'm alright, I'm really fine,"
"Okay then, I won't press you on it,"
"How's mom?"
"She's... She's not doing too well. She collapsed last night, we found out that she haven't been sleeping in a while." Her voice buzzed through, she sounded worried.
"Did you take her to the hospital?"
"No..."
"WHY NOT?!"
"She won't let us, she kept insisting that we find Lily." Jordan said. Lincoln sighed.
"I see... Please tell mom that she needs to watch her health too,"
"I will hon,"
"I have to go now, good night dear," Lincoln kissed the phone and ended the call. He sighed. He straightened the seat and he grabbed the wheel. From the rear view mirror he saw Lori sleeping on the seat. "You're so fucking dead."
"Beer, beer, beer, beer," Crown mumbled as he carried three packs of beer in his arms. I had two in my hands. We queued at the cashier and we waited. We didn't go to the usual place I go to. We went to a bigger store, just out of the county, a rip off of Walmart, Florvendor. There were more people here, three times the amount of cashiers, and louder speakers. Better prices too. But I won't be visitting this place anytime soon, I don't have a car. "Do you need anything? My treat,"
"No, thanks, I'm alright."
"C'mon, this supposed to be a date, and here we are running errands for a barbecue, which isn't a part of the date at all by the way, I still owe you that." He smiled.
"It's alright, I'm good,"
"How about eggs?"
"It's fine Crown, it's good,"
"You know you can call me John right?"
"There's at least three Johns in this town dude," I replied.
"Oh yeah, that is true." He mumbled. "Call me Art then."
"Art?"
"Art as in Arthur, it's my middle name." He said. "I know, cool name in the middle, common as fuck name in the front, it gets on my nerves sometimes." He joked.
"That's fucking sad," I laughed. "Alright then Art, I don't know anyone named Art so far, so I'll call you that,"
"You're calling me by my middle name, it's fair if I call you by yours,"
"I don't like loans, it's Marie," I said. "It'll be a bit confusing around Lily though,"
"Erm?"
"We share the same middle name,"
"Oh!"
"Well Marie, I don't give a crap," He laughed.
"Dumbass,"