KS: Hey, I'm not dead! Even though it seemed that way for who knows how long. Yeah, I won't bore you with the details, but rest assured, I'm still alive. Speaking of alive, my GLG/DMC crossover has another chapter written by yours truly. I haven't give up on this in the slightest, but I will probably need to dig up some of my older stories and bring them back to the surface. But enough about that. Back to the regularly scheduled (or severe lack thereof) excitement

Despite the fact that she was moonlighting as a demon hunter, Ichiko was still a regular girl. Okay, that's not entirely true. After all, nobody who could be considered regular would ever in their right mind have a side job of killing devils and other unworldly monsters.

But we're getting off topic. Ichiko is still a girl, and like most girls her age, she goes to school. Unlike most girl, Ichiko is driven to school in a fancy car, driven by her butler Suwano, who opened the door for her.

"Have a good day, Miss Ichiko," he said.

Ichiko stepped out of the car, school bag in hand and a spring in her step (among other things).

"Thanks," she said. "Well, I guess I'm off. And make sure to drop off the goods for me, will you?"

Suwano bowed. "Of course. I shall give our business partner your regards."

Ichiko smiled as she walked towards the school, and was immediately surrounded by most of the male students.

"Hey, Ichiko!" they greeted with enthusiasm. "Good morning!"

"Morning, boys," Ichiko greeted in return as she walked past them.

The moment she walked into the building, two boys knelt before her with her slippers presented.

"We got your slippers for you!"

"Your bag, miss?" another student said, offering to take her back.

"Thank you," Ichiko replied, giving him her bag.

In case it wasn't obvious earlier, Ichiko was very popular at school. Aside from her good looks, she was gifted physically and academically, getting perfect marks in all of her subjects. Plus, all the boys spent most of the their time fawning over her, and she just went along with it.

Of course, that kind of popularity wasn't without some detractors. And three in particular couldn't help but voice their discontent on her.

"God, I can't cannot stand Ichiko Sakura," Akane complained, applying another layer of lip gloss.

"You mean Titchiko?" the girl applying her own makeup asked. "Talk about overboard, right? If she's gonna be that stacked, she should at least be dumb."

"Seriously, what the hell?" Akane groaned. "I wish she would do us favor and die already."

"Getting possessed by a demon would be fine too," the other girl joked, causing both of them to laugh out loud as they walked out of the washroom. Unbeknownst to them, the girl they were insulting was hiding out in the stall, visibly shaking. However, this shaking was not of sadness, but of anger. Once the girls were gone, Ichiko slammed her fist on the wall.

"Get possessed by a demon, they said" she seethed. "If only they knew who my father was, or better yet, my grandfather. I'd like to see them talk all of that crap when they learn they just threw shade at the granddaughter of the Dark Knight Sparda." She let out sigh, finally calming down. "But I can't say that. Dad always said that name-dropping was surefire way to get everyone to hate you. And I would prefer to stay popular, even if I had to put on the act of a girl who thinks she's better than everyone else."

Ichiko stretched her arms, causing her developments to jiggle slightly.

"Alright, enough sad talk!" she said enthusiastically. "Who cares what they think? I actually had to work to get where I was, and I have never been proud of it." She opened the stall door and walked out. "After all, I am-"

She stopped her speech and movement when she saw something shocking: a girl lifelessly hanging from a noose, that was held up by a dark portal. Now, any regular person would freak out, along with scream and/or flee in terror. But as we stated earlier, Ichiko, for the most part, was anything but regular. So what did she do in this situation?

Simply blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes and saw that nothing was there.

"Must be a hallucination," she said.

"Fortunate girls who have such little concern for others… need a lesson in misfortune."

Ichiko's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as she heard a menacing voice come from behind. "Dammit, I wasn't hallucinating."

A slovenly-looking woman slowly rose from the toilet, looking and sound threatening.

"I have come to this realm to force you back onto equal footing with the rest of humanity."

The woman parted her hair, revealing a dull, yellow eye.

"Does that work for- mmph!"

And she was interrupted by Ichiko shoving her pistol in her mouth.

"Just try it," she said in a deadly serious tone. "I'll make you regret it."

The mysterious woman took no more than three seconds to register what was going on, then started to flail about, letting out panicked muffles with the gun still in her mouth.

"Mmph! Mmmmhmhhmph!"

"Hey, watch it!" Ichiko snapped, trying to keep the gun the mysterious woman's mouth. "I'm trying to threaten you, here!"

Eventually, the woman pulled the gun from her mouth, breathing heavily while doing so.

"Holy hell… I am not getting paid enough for this." She looked up and saw Ichiko pointing her gun at her head. "Oh yeah, I forgot you had that."

"How do you forget a gun that's been in your mouth?" Ichiko sighed. "Which, by the way, I'm gonna have to clean out since it's got two sets of germs on it. I don't even wanna know what sewer your raggedy-ass crawled out of."

Growing a tick mark, the woman got very annoyed with her target's attitude. "Look here, you little punk. I got a job to do, and like it or not, I need your over-priviliged ass to accomplish it. So just do me a favor and let do-"

The sound of a phone ringing interrupted her. Ichiko reached into her skirt pocket with her free hand, pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ichiko," a deep male voice from the other line said. "Got another job for you. Swing by after school when you can."

Ichiko grinned. "Awesome. I'll be sure to do that. See you later."

She hung up and put the phone away. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was dealing with some wackjob. As I was saying-"

Ichiko looked towards the spot where the mysterious woman was, noticing she was long gone.

"Huh. Guess she got the memo."

The bell rang, signaling that classes were about to start.

"Welp, better get to class. Still got an hour of normal school life to take care of."

She left the washroom, ready to continue with her day.

After school, Ichiko walked down the street while singing a little tune.

"All of these thoughts runnin' through my head

Arm on fire, veins burnin' red

Frustration is gettin' bigger

Bang, bang, bang, pull my Devil Trigger

Embrace the darkness that's within me

No hiding in the shadows anymore

When this wickedness consumes me

Nothing can save you and there's no way out~"

As she sang, the mystery woman from earlier followed her closely from behind, keeping out of her sight.

"Damn good singer, as much as I hate to admit it," she grumbled. "Another byproduct her syphoning all the good fortune from decent living folk."

Standing next to her was a sentient teddy bear that has seen all kinds of wear-and-tear. It held up a sign that read: "Do you even know what you're doing?"

The woman looked at the bear and smirked. "Come on, do I look scared of some girl who may or may not be the descendant of one of the strongest demons the world has ever known?"

The bear held up another sign that read: "I don't know. Why don't you ask your knees?"

True enough, the woman's knees were shaking.

"They're shaking out of anticipation, not fear," the woman denied. "So I had a bad first impression on her. Doesn't mean I'm scared or anything. I just got caught off guard that time."

"How'd you like to be caught off guard a second time?" a familiar voice asked.

"Gah!" the woman screeched while jumping in surprise. She turned around and saw Ichiko standing near her, looking all kinds of annoyed.

"Has anyone told you're a lousy stalker?" she asked.

"I'm not a stalker," the woman replied indignantly. "I'm a poverty god."

Ichiko tilted her head in confusion. "Poverty god?"

"Yeah," the woman said. "The name's Momiji. Better remember that."

Momiji

Alleged Poverty God and Wannabe Stalker

"Hey, what the hell is with that title card?!" Momiji shouted in frustration. "I deserve something more respectable, dammit!"

Ichiko snickers. "Even the writer doubts your creditability."

"Why the hell should he?" Momiji seethed. "He's the one writing this fic!"

"I wouldn't know," Ichiko replied, taking out her phone and checking the time. "Look, I need to get going. I'll get back to… whatever you want with me later."

She quickly ran off, leaving Momiji alone and more than a little annoyed.

"Damn cow thinks she can brush me off," she grumbled. "She's got another thing coming." She picked up the bear and and carried it under her arm. "I'm getting that energy, no matter what."

Momiji quickly followed after Ichiko.

Ichiko briskly walked over into a secluded alleyway, looked around, then sighed in relief.

"I finally lost her," she said. "Now I can get to work."

She walked towards a door with a peculiar symbol and opened it, walking down a rather long flight of stairs. At the bottom were a pair of red velvet doors. Taking a deep breath, Ichiko opened the doors, greeted with a familiar sight.

(Bayonetta OST: The Gates of Hell)

She walked along the tiled floors and passed the numerous tables and chairs, making her way over to the counter and taking her seat. She flashed a grin at the man on the other side, who was currently wiping a glass.

"Hey, Rodin. How's business?"

Hearing her speak led to Rodin turning towards her, flashing his own grin and putting down the glass.

"Going smoothly as usual," he said. "Nice of you to drop by, Ichiko."

Rodin

Proprietor of the Gates of Hell

"Always a pleasure to come around," Ichiko replied. "I'll have the usual."

Rodin picked up a glass from under the counter, then opened the freezer and took out a tub of ice cream.

"And what does your friend want?" Rodin asked, taking out a scoop and putting it in the glass.

Ichiko gave him a confused look. "Friend? I came here alone."

"The girl next to you begs to differ," Rodin replied.

Ichiko slowly turned to her left, and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when she saw Momiji sitting next to her, picking her nose.

"…Didn't I lose you when I was ducking through numerous streets and passageways?"

"Not enough to shake me off," Momiji said casually. "Hey, Boss. What's the best drink you've got here?"

"You got ID, kid?" Rodin asked.

Momiji scoffed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a card that looks very worn out. "I'm no kid. I'm a lot older than her, I'll tell you that much."

Rodin picked up the ID card and inspected it. It had her name, a photo of her picking her nose for some reason, and her age was listed as "Lil' Over 100." That last part made Rodin gave her a skeptical look through his shades.

"To be fair, I don't know how old I am myself," Momiji admitted. "Time tends to slip around us poverty gods."

"Poverty gods, huh? Alright, I'll take it," Rodin said, pouring root beer into the glass with the ice cream inside of it. He put a straw in it and pushed over to Ichiko. "Here's your root beer float."

Ichiko squealed happily as she took the glass and began to sip with the cutest expression anyone could muster. Momiji looked at her in disbelief.

"Can't believe this is the same broad who shoved a 10mm in my mouth," she muttered.

"Alright," Rodin said to Momiji. "What are you having?"

"Mmm… let me have a Yamazaki," she said.

Rodin scoffed. "Jumping right out the gate, are you?"

Despite this, he took a bottle from the display and poured it in a glass until it was half full, giving it to her. In return, Momiji handed him a roll of money.

"Do I want to know where you got that money from?"

"Does it matter as long as I pay for my drink?" Momiji responded in a deadpan tone.

"Fair enough," Rodin said, taking the money.

Momiji took a sip from her glass, and was in ecstasy of the rich flavor of the liquor, nearly swooning while doing so.

"Alright, Ichiko, let's talk business," Rodin said, immediately remembering that Momiji was still in the room. "Is it a problem if she's here?"

Ichiko paused in mid-sip to answer. "Makes no difference, honestly. Not like she can stop me."

Momiji smirked. "Ah, finally come to terms with me hanging around you, huh?"

Ichiko just ignored her. "As you were saying, Rodin?"

"Right," the man said. "There's been a distubance in the mines as of late. Workers reported about loud tremors that threaten to cause cave-ins. Best to resolve this now before it becomes a problem later."

"Business as usual," Ichiko sighed while stretching her arms. "What's the payout if I'm successful?"

Rodin smirked. "250,000."

Momiji nearly spat out her drink in shock from hearing such a high number.

"Wow, this must be a high priority," Ichiko commented. "Guess I better make the necessary preperations." She finished off her root beer float and put 5,000 yen on the counter. "Thanks for the float. I'm off to work!"

She cheerfully left the bar, leaving Rodin alone with Momiji.

"She sounds rather excited," the goddess said while swirling the drink in her glass.

"Yeah, she's a real go-getter," Rodin commented, picking up the glass Ichiko drank from and putting it in the sink. "Takes after her old man. Always eager for a fight."

"You sure it wasn't just the amount of paper you offered if she succeeds?" Momiji asked skeptically. "Doesn't strike me as the type to do this out of the kindness out of her heart."

Rodin gave Momiji a scrutinizing look, which didn't go unnoticed by her.

"Do you have some kind of problem with Ichiko?" he asked.

"Me, personally? No," Momiji replied. "I'm just here to do my job."

"Which is?"

Momiji finished her drink and put the glass down. "Putting her back on equal footing with the rest of mankind. That's all."

Rodin stared at her for a few minutes, then sighed.

"If that's all, then I won't press you." He gave her a serious look. "Just know that if anything happens to her and you had a hand in it… you'll answer to me personally."

Momiji waved off the threat as she stood up and began to walk off.

"One more thing… give Yamabuki my regards."

Momiji paused for a moment, surprised some bartender knows the name of her superior. She dismissed it and continued on her way.

"Looks like your life is about get a whole lot crazier, Ichiko," he said with a chuckle. "But knowing you, you'll handle it."

KS: Yep, this will be yet another mass-crossover fanfic, as I have planned. Not the first, or will it be the last. Perhaps I'll plan another in the distant fut- (receives a whisper) What? (receives more whispers) Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot. I need to give my old works more attention as well. As usual, I can't make any promises on getting on them soon, but I will, rest assured. Until next time, I'll see you when I'll see you. Peace.