Chapter 20 Answers

I sat, taking deep breaths while on Antonio's couch. He stared intently at me, still wearing the paint-covered smock he wore when he and I had been painting. Normally, being on the receiving end of a gaze that intense would cause me to recoil, but not this time. This time, I welcomed it with open arms.

"So," he said, his voice soft but just as serious as his face. "You think some answers have been given to you?"

I let out a breath. "Yeah." I looked down into my lap, thinking about this long and hard. "Some aspects of my life, my past, who I was before whatever happened to me happened… it was restored to me." I frowned. "At least, somewhat."

Antonio laughed. "Well, if I were you, I wouldn't just settle for 'somewhat.' Somewhat isn't satisfactory no matter what angle you choose to look at things with." He took a step closer. He took hold of my hand, stroking it with a tender touch that was somehow very familiar to me. "Try to think, Morton. Try to reach back into your memory. The answers regarding who you are and what you were are stashed away in that cabeza of yours. All you have to do is unlock them."

I bit my lip. "Unlock them." I leaned back, even though I didn't feel anywhere close to relaxed. My mind filled with wonder, and I tried my best to do what Antonio suggested. To make the task easier, I closed my eyes. I allowed my heartbeat and the air flowing into my lungs to guide me, and act as the anchor to the world that I wanted to access. I… I feel like I can unlock my memories. They had come to me before, and they had done so in a vivid way. I wanted to access my past in an even more vivid way, in a way where every part of me was laid out on the table for me to see, analyze, and inspect.

"You can do it, Morton." Antonio squeezed my hand. "I believe in you. I know you can do it; you just have to believe you can."

I nodded, concentrating harder. I once again focused on my heartbeat. The constant rhythm washed over me, caressing my ears and calming my mind. The darkness that had so commonly haunted me cleared away, as did the haze that rested on the part of my mind that was supposed to house my identity. I pressed my lips together, exploring the area of my mind that had been opened up to me.

"Hmm." I allowed my body to relax. "I…I can see things." I concentrated on what was popping up. I saw colors, beautiful colors. Colors so vibrant, so eye-catching, so comforting and familiar. Looking at these colors, I felt safer. I felt a little less tense, a little more happy.

But… wait. Those colors weren't isolated, they didn't exist in a vacuum. They were attached to forms. I had trouble picturing these forms, placing where exactly I had seen them before. I concentrated on them, fishing around in my mind for the answers. They… they…

"I…I think I can see… people." A small smile graced my lips. "Six other people. They're all different shapes, all different sizes. They're very colorful, and they… they know me!" My smile grew. "And I know them! I've known them my whole life!"

"Who are they?" Antonio asked. He leaned forward, so much so that I could feel his breath on my face. "Are they friends?"

"No, I don't think they're friends…" I said, concentrating harder on the forms.

"Hmm. Okay. Are they tu familia? Your family?"

My mind latched onto those words. "My… family?" I gasped, my eyes opening up. I grinned as I looked into Antonio's eyes, my entire being feeling happier than I could ever remember feeling. "Yes! Yes, they are my family!" I closed my eyes. "They're… they're my brothers and sisters!" My heartbeat picked up some. "Oh my word, I have a family. I have siblings…"

"Are they nice siblings?" Antonio asked. I nodded, and Antonio leaned closer to me still. "What are their names?"

I bit my lip, groping around in my mind for the answer to that question. "Their names… their names are…" I focused so much I think I popped a blood vessel. My head began to hurt from all this digging, but I still continued on. "I… L… Le…" I kept digging through the headache until suddenly, miraculously, the answers came to me. "Lemmy."

"Lemmy?" Antonio said. "That's the name of your brother?"

"One of them, yes."

Antonio giggled. "You said that you remembered them before. You said he had colorful hair?"

I beamed. "Yeah! Yeah, that's Lemmy alright!" A warm feeling surged through me. Lemmy… oh man, just thinking that name filled me with a very real sense of cheer, as well as innocence. "And… and of course there's Roy." I clung to that name, focusing on the face that the name was attached to. "Roy is… strong. He's kind. He's tough." I chuckled. "I like Roy. He's… he's a cool guy."

Antonio laughed. "Well, that's good. He seems like the perfect older brother." He paused. "He is your older brother, right?"

"Yes, I believe he is." When I said that, all sorts of emotions made themselves known within me, both good… and bad, unfortunately. As I thought about how awesome Roy was, I couldn't help but compare myself to him. He had amassed strength that I could never in a million years hope to match. He had a better grasp on who he was and what place he had in the world than I ever had. He was so cool… and in comparison, I seemed like just a measly, weak creature. A nobody, a nothing.

"Morton, are you okay?"

I sniffled. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just…" I dried a tear from my closed eye. "Just let me try to find more." I thought some more, moving away from Roy for the time being. One by one, the names of my other siblings were restored to me. "Ludwig," I said out loud, smiling as I did. "Larry. Wendy. Ig… Iggy?" I paused at that name. "Wait." I opened my eyes, blinking before I looked back at Antonio. "I… there's some significance to that name." I put my hand to my pounding head. "He's extra important, I feel."

"How so?"

I frowned. "He… he's… I think he's…" A whole slew of emotions laid themselves on top of me. So many of them, all overwhelming and scary. Tears welled in my eyes. "He… I don't know if I like him."

"Oh." Antonio's face fell. "Well, that's too bad. It is understandable though." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I mean, you named six siblings in total. Statistically speaking, I think you would have a rocky relationship with at least one of them."

I sniffled again, my heart beginning to hurt. "I know. But… I don't… I don't know if I want to have a rocky relationship with him." I whimpered. "I want to be closer to him, but for some reason… something is holding me back. I… I think it is…" I started to cry. Little whimpers escaped from my mouth, and the tears began to flow. At that moment, I didn't care that Antonio was watching me break down; all I felt were sorrow and despair.

"Hey, hey." Antonio put his hand to my cheek. I opened my eyes as he stroked it, looking into his smiling face while feeling as though I was about to melt. "Let's not think about that, okay?"

I sniffled for the thousandth time and wiped my eyes. "Okay." I put my hand on top of his. "So… I have a family. I know who they are, and I know their names." I looked down at the floor. "But even with that said, I don't know who I am…"

"You're Morton!" Antonio exclaimed, his eyes glittering.

"I know, I know. But still, I feel like there's more to me. Something…" I tapped my fingers against the couch cushion. "Something about me still feels off. Wrong, somehow. I don't… I do think I am Morton, but at the same time, I feel like something else entirely. I don't… feel complete, like an actual koopa." I was puzzled by those words. "I know that doesn't make sense, but it's how I feel. I feel so strange, so… weird."

"You're not weird," Antonio said. "You're just a normal kid." I frowned when he said that, so he pulled his hand away from my face. "But let's go from there. Let's try to figure out exactly what you are. Go back into your memory, do some digging."

I nodded. "I can do that." I closed my eyes again. A… a memory was starting to come to me. It was a sort of pain, coupled with this bright, blinding white light. It enveloped me, making me feel as though my very soul was splintering off into multiple shards. These broken pieces, as numerous as they were… I felt some sort of familiarity thinking about this. I felt as though I was heading down the right track when it came to finding out who I was, and what I was.

"I'm… I'm a broken piece," I mumbled.

"A broken piece?" Antonio asked. "What do you mean by that?"

I grunted. "I don't… know what I mean by that. At least, not yet. Let me… let me dig back a little deeper." I put my hand to my head. I needed to think about what happened to me before I became a broken piece. That blinding white light from before… it held the answers I sought. But what exactly happened to me before the light? I could almost see it, almost picture it fully in my memory.

"I… Iggy…" I said. I could definitely see his face; I definitely knew that he was involved somehow.

"Okay. Iggy," Antonio said. "What did he do?"

"What did he do, what did he do…?" I remembered him holding this ray gun. That… that was weird, right? Why would my brother hold a ray gun in front of me? That made no sense.

Unless… unless he wanted me gone. Oh good God, did he want me gone? Did he want to take me out of the picture? Did he want to get rid of me? That was terrible… but at the same time, it made perfect sense in my mind.

"What's wrong, Morty?" Antonio took hold of my hands, squeezing them as he spoke to me in the most concerned voice. "What happened to you?"

I opened my eyes, feeling my eyes fill up with the hottest, worst kind of tears that I had ever experienced. "I think Iggy tried to kill me."

"Iggy tried to kill you?" Antonio shook his head. "No, no, that can't be."

"I… I think it is."

"But how does that fit in with the broken piece thing?"

"I don't know." I whimpered, tears coming out at a much faster rate. Trying to wipe them away would be a fool's errand. "All I remember is that he held a ray gun right at me. I… he said something like 'I'm doing this for you, Morty. This is for your own good.'"

Antonio gasped. "That's horrible!"

I almost collapsed onto the floor right then and there. "Yeah." When I spoke, my voice came out in a watery squeak.

Antonio shook his head. "There… there has to be more to it than that." He looked me right in the eyes. "Maybe the ray gun had some other purpose?"

I trembled now, my hands shaking. "I don't… I don't know if…" I started to sob. My wails carried throughout the house, no doubt heard by Rosa while she was up working in her bedroom. I should probably be embarrassed, but I'm too hurt by the truth of the situation to care.

Iggy tried to kill me. He held a ray gun straight to my face. My own brother wanted me dead…

"Oh, muchacho." Antonio wrapped me in a hug as I continued to sob. "There there." He patted me on the back. "Maybe that is enough soul-searching for right now."

I sniffled. "Y… yeah." I buried my face in his clothes. Again, I was too hurt to care about getting his outfit dirty. "I don't… I don't know if…"

"It's okay, Morton," Antonio said, his voice soothing. "Look, if Iggy tries to come at you again, I promise that I'll protect you with every last fiber of my being."

I sniffled. Swallowing my tears, I pulled away and looked into Antonio's smiling face. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."