A/N: It's been far too long for an update, and I am deeply sorry for that. To be candid with you all, I think I tried so hard to focus on exploring scenes that I wanted to see from the manga (i.e. Nagant and Hawks relationship, Hawks and Tokoyami after the Dabi fight, more of the Todoroki family, Endeavor comparing Deku to Touya, etc...) that I feel as though I made my own story come to a screeching halt. I feel as though the story began to drag, and then writing this become more of a chore. Every time I thought about writing, I would just feel dread at the pacing that the story fell into.
I never want to give you all an update that I am not proud of, but TBH, I hate this chapter. It's disjointed, has a million time skips, is more show than tell, and is repetitive and boring IMO. But I am posting it because I feel as though it is the only way that I can get myself out of this funk and return the story back to the one that I want to tell. This is basically the bridge between "I wish we saw this in the manga" that the last few chapters were to "This is my own headcannon again".
I apologize again for the time that it took to get this chapter out, as well as the poor quality of the chapter. I hope there are still more of you in here reading this after so long! I always appreciate your support and enthusiasm with this story!
Sorry for the sad girl parade of an authors note lol. Happy Birthday to Dabi and Asami!
Chapter 62
Present Day – Day 188
She wasn't sure what she expected.
It could have gone two ways: he would be waiting for her there, hands dug deeply in his pockets, shit eating grin plastered on his face, and some snarky comeback like, "Took you long enough, Butterfly."
Or, he would have welcomed her with an outreached hand, snarl stretching against his marred face as he lights her entire body in his sapphire flames with a growl of a response like, "Serves you right, you hero's whore!"
But instead, there was… nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Initially, Asami hid out for a while at her old coworker Riku's house, having still had a spare key to her home after all these years. Once the search for her died down, she went back to her old apartment. When she returned there, she was greeted with a heaviness in the air and a sense of not belonging. She was a foreigner in her own home.
A thick layer of dust covered the apartment since the windows were blasted from tremors of Gigantomachia's rampage. Each step she took into the apartment was met with a clinking of glass breaking below her feet.
Grey goo greeted her at the entrance to her bedroom. She doesn't remember how long she stared down at the substance left behind from the double of her that was weaponized against Hawks.
She wouldn't let any feelings of betrayal bubble up inside of her, and she wouldn't allow herself a second to think about the actions that led her here. Instead, she pulled out a broom and started to clean. She cleaned the whole house until there was no evidence of Dabi, or Hawks, or Twice, or her life after the events following the Billboard Charts. The only thing she could not fix was the shattered windows.
Every night after that, she went to the Ferris Wheel, and she waited. She sat on a nearby bench and she waited. She waited, and waited for him to come back to her. For him to make his grand theatrical appearance like he likes to do.
But he never came.
What was the point of setting the Ferris Wheel on fire if he was never going to come? What was the point of burning down all of Japan to get her attention to only refuse her of his when she finally came out to stop him?
After sitting and waiting for him for hours on the park bench, she walks back to her apartment and waits for him there. The search efforts have stalled since the initial wave that was sent after her. She hated seeing Hawks and the others looking so frantically for her. She wished she could have explained herself better, but she didn't know what to say to him. She could no longer sit back and let it all burn for her. Too long had she sat back and watched Dabi rage because of her, and she needed to do something to stop it and shave those that she loves.
She wished it didn't take so dramatic of an exit, but her father's words rang so heavily in her heart, and Dabi's flames were becoming too hot to ignore. She knew Hawks would hate her for this, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself. There was no coming back from any of this. She wished that she was able to write something more to him; to give him more closure and explanation for what she was doing, but when pen came to paper, she couldn't stomach writing anything to him. It was something selfish that she would have to live with from now on.
Asami doesn't know what she wants anymore. She wants the fires to stop, and she wants people to stop reacting on behalf of her. She wants this all to end, but Dabi won't grant her that freedom. He won't come out and kill her, he won't come out to claim her, and he won't come out and show his face to her, so what is she supposed to do?
Is he watching her from a vantage point? Was this all some elaborate ruse to get her to fracture what little was left between her and Hawks and the Todoroki family? He doesn't kill her or take her back, he just makes her feel so guilty for everything, that she leaves Hawks for Dabi all over again? Dabi does this all to humiliate Hawks all over again and then not even take her as a consolation prize?
Asami grows increasingly frustrated with Dabi the more that he doesn't come out and make his point clear. She doesn't care what he does with her, she just wants him to do something.
"Come on," she snaps under her breath as her legs bounce nervously on the park bench across from the Ferris Wheel. "Touya," she whispers his name like a forbidden word. "Please," she quietly pleas. She looks down at her stomach, now large enough to clearly poke through her clothing. She runs her hand down the dome of her stomach, feeling the fluttering kicks respond to her touch. She frowns, "Just let me explain."
Present Day – Day 189
"You still haven't found her?" Natsuo's voice is laced with annoyance as he presses his father who strides towards his room for the night. "It's been four days! She could be in some serious trouble!"
His worried tone doesn't fall on deaf ears, and Endeavor responds with eyes shutting tightly in shame and fists clenching at his sides. "I know, Natsuo," he tells him. "I've been looking for her every day. So have the others."
"Well try harder!" he pushes his father, choosing to ignore his clear fatigue. "There has to be somewhere that you didn't look."
"I am doing the best that I can," the red-haired hero responds to him as they turn the corner to their hallway of rooms. Fuyumi, Rei, and Shouto all stand in the hallway outside their rooms waiting for the duo to join them. Natsuo looks down the hall at his sister, feeling his teeth grit at her gull to dawn a worried look on her face.
"Still nothing?" Fuyumi questions with her arms hugged tightly around her chest.
"Obviously," Natsuo rolls his eyes at his sister.
"Natsu," Endeavor warns.
He shakes his head at his sister, "Why did you have to be so damn abrasive towards her?" he questions with a snide tone. "If you didn't say what you did, she wouldn't have left!"
"You can't blame me for this, Natsu," Fuyumi defends. "She never told me about the baby, how was I supposed to react?"
"How about not shaming her for it!" he argues.
"You think I don't feel bad for what I said?" she unlaces her arms to toss down at her sides. "I didn't know her dad was going to react like that, and I didn't know she was going to leave!" Her eyes glisten behind her glasses as she continues, "I didn't want to make her feel like she had to leave. I never wanted any of this."
Natsuo's shoulder loosen as he sees the tears begin to stream down his sister's cheeks, seeing that she's beating herself up for what she said, and finding no point in further blaming her for it.
"There is no point in arguing this," Rei steps in as a mediator. "Is there anything we can do to help?" she asks looking up at her husband.
"We've checked her home, my agency, Hawks' agency, all of city has been cased for her," he returns with a grim tone.
"Do you think that she's successfully met with Touya?" Shouto questions with a professional tone, while Fuyumi finds herself still cringing at the use of his name.
"Hard to say," Endeavor returns. "Though the lack of sightings might suggest so."
"What would Touya do if he met with her?" he questions him. "The last I spoke with him, he believed he had killed her. His tone was…" Shouto hangs on the memory as his words echo in his skull. He can still hear Dabi's voice tearing at his cords as he announced that he killed Asami. He can still see the manic smile that was melting off of his stitched face. Yet despite the smile that might have suggested that he was reveling in her death, the pain in his eyes was palpable.
Fuyumi and Natsuo shiver at the idea as Rei speaks up, "She's pregnant with his child, surely he'll—"
"That's assuming she believes it's his," Fuyumi speaks over her. "He could think that it's Hawks'," she reminds them, and the thought makes the air even more tense. Dabi is not the type to wait around for a paternity test when faced with a revelation like this.
Shouto turns to his father, "I want to help," he tells him with a stern tone so his father will not dismiss his request. "Allow me to join you tomorrow in the search efforts."
Endeavor shakes his head, "It's dangerous out there, Shouto. You're a target to Dabi, I cannot allow you to—"
"And that is why I need to help. Asami is as much of target of Dabi as we are," he presses. "If he has not met up with her yet, and any of those villains find out who she is to him, they will turn her over to him in a heartbeat."
Endeavor looks down at his son, seeing the clear determination in his heteromorphic eyes. He knows that he cannot deny him this, because the boy is just as stubborn as him, and will find his way in the city; he'd rather allow him out and have eyes on him than the alternative.
"Alright," he sighs, "At first light, you and I can search the city."
"Thank you," Shouto nods at his father as he turns towards his room with his wife in tow.
Shouto turns to his siblings, seeing the heaviness in their eyes as they worry for their friend. Shouto wasn't around Asami much as a child since he was segregated from his siblings at such a young age, but growing up, he always remembered seeing her around the home playing with Fuyumi and Natsuo. Though he was never granted the chance to join in on their ventures, he always watched them from afar with longing eyes. Despite not being as close to her as the two of them are, he can still see how she is like a sister to the two of them, and he can see the worry weighing the two of them down.
"You two know Asami more than anyone else," Shouto begins. "If there is anywhere special to Asami or Touya, where would it be?"
Present Day – Day 190
Asami weighs her options moving forward as she walks the familiar path towards the Ferris Wheel. If Dabi is unable to make an appearance here for her, maybe she can force his hand by coming to him. Obviously, the heroes have no idea where All For One has gathered up the League during their hiding, but some straggler members of the Meta Liberation Army might know where they are. If she's able to make contact with them, maybe they can take her to Dabi and force this reunion on them.
The only problem with this plan is finding a villain roaming the streets that knows the location of the League. Since All For One released prisoners from dozens of jails, there are more violent criminals running around now than there ever were; the likelihood that any of them are members of the MLA high enough with clearance to knowledge of where the League is located is slim.
She can't really go running around Japan on a rampage trying to get his attention like he did her. Asami's Quirk is not as flashy as Dabi's, and won't garner the same attention that his flames have.
Asami finds herself getting increasingly frustrated with Dabi and this shitty plan at a reunion as she approaches the outskirts of the Ferris Wheel. There isn't much left of the metal beams as the fire dies down around the structure, and within another day or two the symbol of their past will be reduced to n0thing more than a pile of ash and rubble. But she doesn't have long to dwell on that fact when her eyes slide from the structure and down to the park bench where she sits daily for him. Only this time, there is dark silhouette of someone sitting down, looking up at the dying orange embers.
Every fiber of her being seizes up at the sight and she can't will her body to move. The back of his hooded head cranes upward as piece of white hair covering his face illuminate in the orange glow. He must sense her presence because his head turns slightly towards the right. "Would you like a seat?"
Asami can't mask the disappointment filling her chest when she hears his voice calling out to her, and as his voice reaches her, the differences between them becomes clearer, as a grey eye reach hers instead of that painfully beautiful blue.
"Shouto," Asami' voice returns flatly.
"Natsuo and Fuyumi told me I might find you here," his eyes turn from her and back to the burning structure in front of them. "They mentioned this place meant something to you and Touya." The bitterness in his voice shows as he looks onto the flames that have ravaged something deemed sacred to them. "I figured I'd wait here until you showed."
Asami sighs, moving her feet towards him and planting herself on the bench next to Shouto. Her eyes reach the same fire that he looks onto just before them. "I'm sorry about all the trouble," her voice manages. "I never meant for any of this to happen."
"I don't think any of us could have predicted any of this happening," Shouto returns.
They both sit there next to one another with a heavy silence overfalling them. Neither of them knows what to say to the other as they sit in front of the destruction caused by someone they love.
"I'm sorry about the dinner," Shouto manages to find the words. "None of that needed to be said."
Asami frowns, feeling the opposite. "It's alright," she tells him honestly. "There needs to be consequences for my actions."
"The same should apply for everyone involved," he returns with a grit in his teeth that she doesn't miss.
"You're talking about your father?" she questions.
"His actions are the ones that led to all of this happening in the first place."
Asami looks over at him, seated next to his left side that resembles his father so. "Do you hate him for that?" she asks him. She knows what Natsuo's answer would be, and she knows what Touya's would be, but out of all of his children, Shouto is the only one she can't read.
It takes him a moment to respond to her as his eyes swirl with memories from his childhood. "For a long time, yes," he admits to her with a grimace on his face that makes him look like he ate something rancid. "But then… in a moment…" he struggles on his words, eyes fixated on the orange flames that match the ones he used that day. "A friend had reached out to me."
She watches him carefully, wanting to know everything that he feels for his father, and wondering if there are similarities to Touya in that way. Maybe Asami is looking for Shouto to justify Touya's burning hate for his father, but she can't say for sure.
"For so long I hated my old man," he narrates. "I hated him for what he did to me, for the beatings, for keeping me from the others. I hated him and I wanted him dead."
Asami's lips part slightly, practically hearing Touya's voice seething through Shouto's. She's reminded of the night of their birthday where he had spoken of his father and those same words leaving his lips.
"I didn't want to be a hero, not if it meant being anything like him." He looks down at his left hand, clenching and unclenching his fist. "I wouldn't become a hero using the same flames that he used on me. Not with his Quirk.
"But you did use your flames at the Sports Festival," Asami reminds him.
Shouto smiles slightly at her words, liking the way that she worded as she's reminded of Midoriya's response to him. "Because they are my flames. My Quirk."
His words click with her and she nods at what helped him claw his way out of the depths of loathing his father. She thinks about her own Quirk and how her father manipulated her into never developing it so she could never discover that he was abusing it with his clients. She could have learned to use if for such good had she seen her Quirk the way that Shouto sees his.
"I often envied Touya back then," Shouto admits candidly to her and she turns her head towards him in shock. "He was allowed to play with Fuyumi and Natsuo, and I saw the way that you two used to smile at one another. The power and the fame of being a hero didn't seem to matter to me if it meant that I would never find someone to smile with like that," his tone drops and Asami curls her lips into her mouth.
"Natsuo and Touya were close and I watched from above as they spoke and laughed with one another. They could share anything with each other, and I… I knew nothing about them. I didn't know even know what their favorite food was. And when Touya was gone, I realized that I would never know anything about him."
Asami frowns as she turns her eyes from Shouto's and onto the burning Ferris Wheel as embers rain down around them. "But when Dabi announced that he was Touya," he continues thoughtfully. "There was a part of me that was so relieved. Looking up at him and seeing him in the flesh once more, I had so many questions I wanted to and could ask him. He was alive and I could finally learn everything about him. Past and villainy be damned, he was my brother and he was alive. I could finally get all those unanswered questions that were devouring me for years."
Shouto exhales, remembering that day and just how manic and angry his brother was at him and his father. He knew they weren't going to hug it out and talk about old times. Neither of them owed the other anything. They were strangers when Touya died on Sekoto Peak, and there was no past for them to get caught up on, but there was still something clearly holding Touya back. Something sentimentally that he kept tripping on.
"When I asked Touya what happened to you, he said that he killed you," Shouto works out the strange feeling swirling in his chest while Asami flinches in his peripheral. "He laughed when he said that, and he smiled but…"
"He wants us all dead," Asami speaks over him with eyes squinted shut. Shouto looks over at her with widened eyes at her harsh tone. "He's a murderer and he wants to kill all of us for failing him. He's said it plainly himself."
Shouto's shoulders loosen as he turns back to the fire dying before them. "I don't think he does," he muses and Asami opens her eyes to look at his pensive look. "He said he killed you, and he smiled, but his eyes… He was absolutely destroyed by the idea that you were gone." Shouto turns to Asami as his dual-colored eyes look into hers. "It was the last thing that he would ever want."
"He's a villain, Shouto. He's killed people and he enjoys doing it. What Endeavor did to him doesn't justify his actions. Your father did the same to you and you're nothing like him."
Shouto frowns, looking down at his own hands. "No," he releases with a gruff tone. "But I can't deny the hate that I felt every day before I found someone who reached out to me. I don't know what would have happened if Midoriya said anything else to me that day."
"You'll never be a hero in my eyes!"
Asami's lips part as she tries to argue, but as the words come barreling back into her memory, she finds herself shutting her mouth. He reached out to her when he needed him, and she swatted his hand away.
"I'm not saying we are responsible for Dabi's actions. He is responsible just as much as my father is for his own. I just wish I was there to say something to him when he needed to hear it the most."
"You make me want to be a better man."
Asami looks down at her stomach as the dome of her belly swells past her clothes. She places her hand on her stomach and brushes it softly. Flutters of movement respond to her touch and she finds herself smiling sadly. "Ramen," she says quietly as Shouto turns his head to her. "His favorite food was Ramen with pork belly," she says as she thinks back fondly at the many times he unceremoniously slurped on the noodles. The sound would drive her insane back then. "He would use his Quirk to heat the broth, wanting it practically boiling as he slurped it down," she finishes with a soft giggle in her voice at the memory.
Shouto looks away from her, letting out a chuckle of his own. "What is it?" she asks him.
"Nothing," he shakes his head as he's brought back to Bakugo's comment about his brother's favorite dish.
Shouto glances back at Asami, seeing the smile return on her lips as she's swimming in memories of his brother. "Did you love him?" he asks her. "Dabi," he specifies, "not Touya."
Asami's smile flattens on her lips and she looks back at the burning Ferris Wheel in front of her, reminding her that this is his doing. All because he's angry with her. But the memories and the smiles and the laughs continue to ring in her ears in a way that she cannot ignore.
"There are two parts to your brother," she tells him. "There is the angry, lost and confused part of him that responds with violence and hate. But there's a part of him that throws his head back and shakes his stomach when he laughs. I think despite all that hate that he held in his heart, I still fell… for something," she admits to him with a sigh.
"Do you think he can be saved?" He asks her and she looks at him, searching his eyes for his intention in the question. "When this war comes to a head, I will face off against Dabi—"
"Sho—"
"My father needs to occupy his strength with All For One. He is not in the right headspace to handle Touya, and we need our strongest against All For One. We've already discussed this together," he says with a finality in his tone.
"So, you want to know what to expect when you face him?" she figures.
"Did he give you any inclination into what happened to him all those years?"
She shakes her head, remembering that conversation and how cold he was towards her when she asked. Shouto responds with a hefty sigh. "You fell in love with him," he continues. "All of him. So, there is a part of him that's never changed."
"He wants us dead, Shouto," she reminds him as his promise rings so clearly in her ears. "I don't think this reunion is going to go as well as you may think."
He watches her intently, and they stare at each other for a moment with only the sound of kindling crackling behind them. "Is he capable of killing us?"
She opens her mouth to say yes, but she closes it because it doesn't seem right coming out of her mouth. She thinks about how he had his chance when she was at the Todoroki home and he could have taken them all out with one single sweep. When she asked him why he didn't, he told her that he loved her and that he couldn't.
"I…" she struggles. "I don't know," she finally settles with.
Shouto frowns, and she isn't sure if he's disappointed or not with her response. "Come back to UA, Asami," he says to her instead. "We all need you there."
She shakes her head, "I'm too much of a liability. Dabi is destroying Japan because of me."
"This isn't your fault," he tells her strongly. "My father, my family, and myself… we are all just as liable as you are for what's happening. I don't want to shoulder this burden alone. And I don't think you do either," he says carefully.
She frowns at him, looking back at the fire that has almost all died out. "Come back with me, Asami," he says reaching his hand out to her. "We will bring him back together."
Asami follows Shouto behind closely as they approach the back routes of UA that is kept from the public. Over the wall, Asami can hear the clamoring and yelling of citizens outraged about the presence of the Midoriya and the Todoroki Family at UA. She can hear their desperate cries as they call over the sound of the pour rain, calling for their removal from the shelter.
She feels a pit swirling in her stomach as she approaches the crowd and holds onto Shouto's arm, who responds with a hug against his frame. She can hear a young feminine voice powering through the crowds' shouts and jeers, and she recognizes it as Ochaco's.
Asami looks to the sky, unable to see the girl who tries to stir the citizens with her words about what it means to be a hero and their sacrifices. Asami feels herself tearing up at the idea of one person shouldering the burden of saving so many.
She looks down at Shouto who listens to his classmate with the same intensity that she does. He doesn't have to shoulder this burden alone either, and she knows that she needs to do everything in her power to help him and everyone in this shelter.
Shouto turns from the disembodied voice of the young girl, when he hears he approaching footsteps. Asami follows his lead and turns to see his father and Hawks approaching them.
Asami turns her body fully towards Endeavor, and before she can say a word to him, he steps towards her—breaking the gap between them in less than three strides before he entraps her in a hug. Crushed against his chest, Asami tenses in his grip from shock at his actions.
"I'm so glad you're safe," his voice cracks and shows a vulnerability to him that she's never seen from the hero she's known almost all her life. He pulls her at an arm's reach to search her for any signs of being hurt. He rubs her biceps with a comforting sweep before smiling at her. "You're our family, Asami. You always have been."
Asami's lips quiver and she buries herself in his chest before she can show him the tears that fall waywardly down her cheeks.
It isn't a long embrace before Asami pulls from Endeavor's grip and looks at the blonde who stands a comfortable distance from the rest.
"Hawks…" she begins as she tries to find the correct words to speak to him. She lowers the upper half of her body in a low bow. "I'm so sorry," her voice breaks as she hides her face from him with her short hair. "I never meant—"
She doesn't have a moment to finish her apology to him before he reaches for her biceps and pulls her body into a straight position. "Don't," she says with a soft tone. It's all that he can seem to manage to say as Exoplasm enters from the barricade of UA to direct them to the public entrance.
Asami follows closely behind as they all watch the aftermath of Ochaco's speech touch the hearts of the civilians around them. They all come to a realization as they watch the public accept Midoriya back into the school that maybe the heroes have been taking on too much in this war, and a reality that they are just as human as the rest of them sinks in.
Tokoyami sees Hawks approaching the crowds and he heads to his mentor with excited stride. "You've found her!" his voice is relived as he bows to Asami. "I'm glad you're safe," he tells her respectfully and she bows to him as well, thanking him for all of his efforts in helping them find her.
Asami turns back to look at Hawks when she notices the look in his eyes as his gaze is fixated on Midoriya being embraced by two civilians. She can see the longing in his eyes as he watches the exchange and she turns her attention to him.
"With Midoriya's powers, and the public's faith being restored in heroes again, I wonder if there is a future in all of this," he muses, "One where heroes do have time on their hands."
Asami has known Hawks intimately enough to know when something is eating away at him. He was always good at hiding and masking himself in front of everyone around him, but there were always moments when that mask would crack, and she would get a glimpse into what was bothering him.
She steps towards him, "You say that like you aren't part of that revolution," she questions him.
He closes his eyes, sighing heavily as his head lifts to the sky. The wind blows through his short golden hair and he misses the feeling of it blowing through his wings. "Heroes don't take lives," he tells her with a finality in his voice, as if telling her about a death.
Asami opens her mouth to speak, but it's Tokoyami who speaks first. "Hawks, that day… you saved so many people. You were—are a hero."
"Bubaigawara was a good man," Hawks says idly as his mind replays over and over the sound of his gurgled breaths after his blade penetrated his back. "He wanted to help other people, and he wanted to do what was right for those that he loved. And yet he was the villain in society's eyes."
"He was a killer," Tokoyami offers as an explanation.
"And now so am I," Hawks counters with a deep frown staining his face. "I didn't want to kill him. The room was hot and there were flames everywhere. Dabi was after me at every turn, and I just wanted to protect—" Hawks stops in his tracks when his eyes reach Asami's. He sees the reddening of her bloodshot eyes, and he's reminded of her cries that day when she yelled out his name to stop his assault on Twice.
"You did everything you could to save him, Keigo," Asami tells him now. "He didn't want to be saved."
"Would it have been a life saved? To take him from those he loved and that loved him? To lock him up and never see the light of day?" he challenges her. What good did it do to Nagant? What good could it have done for Twice? Hawks knows that the life that he offered Twice was a shit deal that would have never given him a better life.
"He may have been a villain, but he was a better man than I could have ever hoped to be," Hawks says with a pained tone. "He never took advantage of those that he loved."
Asami steps towards Hawks and places her hand softly on his cheek, lifting his eyes to meet hers. Asami thinks of Ochaco, and her words about Midoriya and the other heroes shouldering the burden for everyone around them. She will not let Hawks shoulder the burden of that night on his own.
"If you killed him, then so did I," she tells him with a strong conviction in her tone that has him blinking at her incredulously. "We all made horrible decisions that day, and we are all responsible for each of them," she says. "Dabi made his decision when he decided to use his flames instead of flee. Twice made his decision when he refused to listen to your pleas. And I… had I had better use of my Quirk, I would have saved Jin and stopped Dabi at the same time. But I made my choice. And I chose to save you instead of saving him. That guilt will follow me as closely as yours does you. It's what makes us human, and it's what makes us good. Hold onto that, Keigo because that is your humanity, and that makes you a hero."
"You may not see it this way," Tokoyami piggybacks on Asami's strong words, "But you are our hero. And we need you, now more than ever."
Hawks feels tears falling down his cheeks involuntarily as he begins to frantically wipe them away. He nods at their words, unable to say anything to them, but feeling the weight of them nonetheless.
Present Day – Day 195
After a few days of being back at UA and getting her things in order, Asami has made it a point to focus her efforts on bettering herself; mending her relationship with Hawks was the first step, and now she needs to move her efforts to Fuyumi. She fractured her relationship with her best friend over the fear of how she would react to her pregnancy. Fuyumi should have been the first to have known, and it should have been something they navigated together as best friends, and that is something that Asami wants to focus on mending now.
She finds Fuyumi in the lunchroom at UA with her mother, Rei. The purple-haired woman approaches the mother and daughter as they eat at their table. When they notice her, Asami bows her head in apology at her intrusion. Fuyumi smiles warmly at Asami, and welcomes her to sit next to them. For a moment, there is a tension in the air, Asami isn't sure if it's stemming from her, or if all the parties are aware of the feeling, but she tries to expel it.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner," she begins, "I just wanted to come here and say that I'm sorry about how everything's happened over the past few months." Asami looks at the grey eyes of her best friend. "I should have told you as soon as I knew, but I was scared of what you would think of me," she says candidly, because she knows that skirting around this apology isn't what Fuyumi deserves.
"You are my best friend," Asami tells her, "And I didn't want to ruin anything between us. After hearing what you had to say about Touya…" Asami bites her lip, "Dabi," she corrects, "I don't know, I was just worried that you would hate me for it," she finishes with a shaking of her head.
"Asami," Fuyumi begins with a compassionate tone that makes her feel even more guilt. "I should be apologizing for not making you feel comfortable enough to tell me," she scolds herself. "When I saw the video that Dabi released, and I saw his flames engulf you, I…" she shudders as the three of them are brought back to the horrific image the video had picked up. "I couldn't imagine that someone who was capable of doing that to you was the same person that I grew up with and saw loving you."
Fuyumi turns to Asami, giving her full attention to her. "I was scared to think that our actions as a family were capable of producing someone so…" it's her now who bites her lip to hold back her tongue. "That wasn't Touya to me," she decides on instead. "Touya wanted to be a hero, and he wanted to save people's lives, not take them. I just hate that this is what has become of our family."
Rei places a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder as she sighs heavily at what they've all devolved into. Asami watches Rei for a moment, wondering how she is navigating all this information given that she couldn't hold her son back from going up that mountain just as much as Asami couldn't.
"You know him better than any of us now," Rei begins with a soft tone as she looks to Asami. "You had intimate moments with Touya after the fire and," she glances down at her belly if only for a moment, "you fell in love with him." Asami feels her heart pounding against her chest as Rei speaks to her about her love of a villain.
"Shouto is going to fight against Dabi in the war," Rei continues as she comes to her point. "I'd like to think that the child in your belly is a symbol that Touya—the Touya that we all loved—was still in there somewhere. And that Touya will be there during this fight with his brother."
Asami doesn't have the heart to tell Rei what Dabi's plan is with Shouto and Endeavor as she did them. The villain often contradicted himself when it came to his emotions with her, and Endeavor, and his family. She imagines its was all very complicated for him after they all failed him in a way. But when finally faced with it, could he actually commit to the act of killing his brother and father? Could he kill her?
"I don't know how Dabi, or Touya will react during this war," Asami begins. "I don't even think he knows how he will react when he's faced with Shouto," she admits fearfully and sees Rei deflate at this. "But I do know this, Shouto has been training everyday of his life. He is a strong fighter, and an amazing hero. I believe in him," she says strongly. "And I know he will do his best."
Present Day – Day 260
Asami's hands shake as she stands facing the closed door only inches from her face. Her heart is racing and her breathing is unsteady. She shifts on her feet and she suddenly regrets wearing heels and a tight dress that accentuates her pregnant belly. She's in her final trimester, and as the days go by, she's worked closely with the hospitals and Vlad King to control her Quirk and its side effects on those she uses it on. She wants to be a helpful contributor in this war, and that is what has led her to come to this meeting.
"It's alright," Shouto whispers behind her with encouragement. "Midoriya and the others are in there as well. This meeting is open to all who can help."
She takes in a deep breath, closing her eyes and blowing out the tension building inside her. She nods once and Shouto reaches around her, opening the door and allowing her entrance into the meeting room.
All eyes are on her in the doorway and she suddenly feels like her first day at UA. Asami was cripplingly shy as a child, and it wasn't until the many classes she took at UA for public speaking and presentation that she was able to overcome that fear. But now, with all these eyes on her, she feels as though those years of training her confidence have gone down the drain.
"Ms. Hatsuse," the President of the HPSC smiles at her in as much of a genuine gesture as she can. "Please come join us."
Asami bows respectfully to the pro heroes that all watch her enter the room. She is motioned to sit next to Lock Lock and Tsukauchi as they continue to discuss the plan of attack.
"With the fall of Stars and Stripe," All Might continues his sentiments before Asami's intrusion. "We need to consider moving our plan forward. Shigaraki has been weakened by her efforts, and we must take this time to strike."
"We have the UA student connected to All For One under our protection for now," Tsukauchi adds. "He can be our connection to All For One. We can have the boy deliver Midoriya to him."
"Monoma has mastered Kurigori's Quirk," Aizawa affirms. "He can comfortably deliver backup without All For One's knowledge."
"From there, we will separate the League members into these factions," All Might presents on a whiteboard a small token of each League member and their location on a map of Japan. Next to each member is a list of accompanying Pro Heros and students that will be tasked at taking down that member. Asami cannot help but wince at Shouto's name next to the token of Dabi.
She thinks about how that fight will play out. She knows that Shouto is working hard with his Quirk and has shown such growth with his power, but she cannot help but fear that Dabi's rage will prevail over everything. She feels hot just thinking about him taking his life while she remains at Central Hospital as aid. She wants to be out there on the field with him and begging Dabi to see reason.
Asami's body temperature is rising and she feels herself getting more and more uncomfortable. She starts to fan herself in an attempt to stabilize herself. Her head begins spinning and the voices around her begin to muffle. She wonders if she's having some sort of panic attack as incoherent conversations are playing out in her head.
"This is Twice's blood, yeah?" The voice is muffled and overlapping with itself, but she knows it's his. Distorted memories play in her head as she tries to focus on his words. "—taken his life—stop his double Quirk—little psychopath—stoppin' us!—join us!"
"What about Toga?" Asami's voice cuts through the jumbled voices echoing in her head. All eyes are on her and she must look like shit because most of them look at her like she's some ghost. "Where is Toga placed?"
"We have her in Hosu," All Might answers her as he steps to show her the map.
"No!" Asami says a bit too frantically. She takes in a deep breath as she silences the overlapping voices of Dabi in her head. "We need to move her," she tells them in a more leveled tone. "Somewhere more secluded or remote."
"Himiko Toga's Quirk does not warrant a need for location secluded from civilians like All For One, Dabi, and Shigaraki's require," the President interjects.
"No…" Asami begins "Himiko had a Quirk awakening in Deika, that allows her to use the Quirk of anyone who's blood she devours."
"Yes, this was included in your dossier of her," she reminds her. "According to your report, it did not last very long.
Asami swallows and her eyes reach to the golden ones watching her from across the table. Hawks is watching her carefully with concern in his eyes. She wonders if he has any idea where she could be going with this. "What if… there's a chance that she could have gotten her hands on the blood of others."
The President mulls this over for a moment. "There is a potential that she could use her Quirk to take the appearance of the League members and use Dabi's blue flames or Shigaraki's decay," she nods thoughtfully.
"Or," Asami's voice cracks in her throat. "Double."
When the words leave her mouth, the entire room goes silent and still. The look on Hawks' eyes shows Asami that he did indeed catch onto where her mind was going, but the look of pain in his eyes still hits her painfully.
"She would have to have had access to Jin Bubaigawara's blood in order for her to take on his Quirk," the President challenges her. "Do you have proof that she took his blood?"
"This is Twice's blood, yeah?"
"Himiko enjoyed tasting blood of those that she believed that she loved. She had even asked me for my own at a time," Asami shamefully admits. "If there was anyone from the League that she loved most, it was Jin." Asami doesn't want to speculate of whatever fever dream is playing out in her head. She doesn't remember those words coming out of Dabi's mouth, but she can't ignore their influence in this moment. "If Himiko has access to the blood of Twice, she will not only be able to create an endless army of his clones, but she can also use his Quirk to create an endless army of clones of Dabi and Shigaraki. If she is placed on the mainland with that power, this war will be over in seconds."
Hawks feels himself getting sick, and all his actions that he's regrated to this point are feeling pointless with this revelation.
"We will plan for the worst then," the president nods. "Assume Himiko Toga has the power of Bubaigawara's Double Quirk and move her offshore. Gang Orca can be tasked with handling her since he will be able to retreat to the ocean should issues arise. Aizawa, please provide us with any students that may be able to assist from above should she use Decay," she finishes and the ravenette nods once to her.
Asami glances over at Hawks from across the table to send him a look of support, but his eyes are fixated on the wooden table between them. She can see the pain in his eyes that all his action were for not, and she's heartbroken at what he must be feeling right now, because she can't help but feel the same.
The meeting is soon dismissed and Asami moves towards Hawks to show her support. "You think it's possible?" he asks her.
She shrugs, "I'm sure it is," she regretfully admits. "I can't say without a doubt, but I can't go in without voicing the possibility."
"I'm glad you did; we need all the contingency that we can."
"You're going to be against All For One," Asami says, noticing his name next to the mega villain's token.
"Hatsume was able to create enough feathered prototypes to get me airborne. I haven't tested them just yet, but Endeavor needs me out there," he says sternly. He watches her, waiting for her to say something, and when she doesn't bring it up, he does himself. "Where'd the funds come from?" he asks her with no inclination in his voice to show her how he's feeling.
She rolls her lips into her mouth, not wanting to have to tell him, but knows that he has a right to know. "I gave her the ring," she returns shamefully.
Hawks responds with a tight single nod. He doesn't seem upset or angry with this information, and appears more desensitized to it all. She can't expect much else from him as he's been distancing himself from her more and more as they both focus their efforts on the war.
"Shouto is going to be stationed in Kamino," she brings up nervously. "He won't be near you or Endeavor."
"Kamino is still devastated from All For One and All Might's last battle. The President chose the location because it posed the area with the least amount of damages from his flames."
"I know," she begins timidly, "I'm just worried for Shouto."
Hawks looks down at her, seeing her eyes staring down at the clear bump of her stomach. He feels awkward around her, having closure in their last conversation that neither of them blames the other for what happened, but still feeling an unease about the entire situation. He supposes that may never go away, considering their past. He still loves her, and he always will love her, but the kind of love has shifted as he's buried that part of him to rest.
"Shouto is a strong kid," he tries to reassure her. "And Endeavor is sending his entire agency to support him." She keeps her eyes downcast on her stomach and Hawks' throat tightens as he asks, "Or are you worried about… something else?"
Asami's eyes look up at Hawks and she feels horrible for even alluding to Dabi in front of him. Hawks can feel her humiliation and gives her a rub of her shoulder to comfort her. "He's also a good kid," he says about Shouto. "He's going to do everything in his power to save Dabi."
Asami shakes her head, "He wants him dead," she says bringing up Dabi's promise to her.
Hawks watches Asami and can see in her body language just how much this is effecting her. He can tell that she's been losing sleep with this, and with her last memory of him being burning her, he can't blame her for thinking that he's completely devolved into a monster. And despite how much Hawks hates the man for taking away the woman that he loved, and destroying the country that he fought for, he is still haunted by the look on his face when he burned Asami.
Hawks never wanted to tell Asami about those moments after she was burned. Not only was he traumatized by it himself, but allowing himself to dwell on how he felt in that moment would make it real somehow, and if he did that, it would humanize the man that he hated for so long. But as the days go by and he's growing from the pain, he's healing and able to accept the ramifications of that look.
"That day," his voice is tight as he begins, the screams still playing in the back of his head. "When he realized that you jumped in front of me, his flames were immediately extinguished." Asami focuses on Hawks' words as his golden eyes stare at nothing in particular.
"When the flames cleared, and we realized what had happened… he tried…" Hawks struggles on his words as he pushes past the panic that had built in his chest that clamped down on him like a vice. "He tried to take you into his arms," he continues. "And I yelled at him," he says with a frown on his face and to Asami's surprise, a humbled tone.
"I told him that he's done enough to you, and in that moment…" he sighs, looking up at Asami for the first time since they left the meeting. "He looked at me like he was some scared kid being yelled at. He looked at me like I used to look at my dad before he hit me," he finishes with sorrow filling his voice as the knowledge of what Touya's father did to him is now known to him.
"I actually felt bad in that moment. Hell, I wanted to say sorry and console him. But I didn't say anything to him. I just looked back at you because that was easier than facing the idea that he might not be the monster I set him out to be."
"I'm telling you this because it's been gnawing at the back of my head since that day," he tells her. "I don't know if telling you this will do anything, and I still think he's a piece of shit," he admits with a half laugh as he awkwardly scratches at the back of his head. "But," he becomes serious, "I know that the knowledge that he burned you made you see him differently since that day." Asami swallows, knowing that she's been burying any love that she allows herself to feel for Dabi with the constant mantra that he burned her and he is burning Japan because he wants her dead. But this…
"We weren't able to save Bubaigawara, but maybe it's different for Dabi. Maybe there's a part of him that's wanting to be saved."
"You make me want to be a better man."
"Do you think he wants to be saved?" she asks him, knowing what she wants to hear.
Hawks can't help be see that look on his face covering his vision. There was so much pain, and so much regret in that moment that it was undeniable.
"Don't get me wrong," Hawks begins with a shaking of his head as he digs his hands deeply into his pockets. "The last thing I want is you anywhere near a potentially dangerous situation that I can't be there to get you out of," he sighs as his shoulder hits the frame of the door. "But if anyone can save him, it's you."
Present Day – Day 260
As the days go by, Asami finds herself questioning one thing in particular, and that is whether or not Dabi can be beaten and Touya can be saved. She thinks about his video often and his omission of taking countless lives. She wonders if he's even deserving of being saved with all the lives that he's ruined. Are Endeavor's horrendous actions to his young son enough to absolve him of his crimes? She thinks about Shouto and how he was worried about being on the path that Dabi's walked had it not been the intervention of his friends at UA. Is she to be blamed for not intervening the same?
What does saving Dabi even look like? Assuming he listens to any of them, he cannot be forgiven and allowed to walk amongst the free. Does he spend the rest of his life in a rebuilt Tartarus? It was a fate that Dabi predicted when she mentioned the pardon to him. Would she want that life for him? Would the President allow him to live a quiet life in the countryside with her? They could fake his death and the two of them could start anew with their child. She wouldn't have Fuyumi, or Natsuo, or any of her friends; but he would have a chance at life once more.
Asami sighs, feeling the weight of all her thoughts swirling around her head and causing her to get a headache. She wants this all to be over, but she doesn't know what the right answer is. She is desperate for anything at this point. And as she walks the concrete hallways of the prisoner cell block, she begins to question how being down here will give her the answers she seeks.
The hallways are cold and the frigid air causes her breath to cloud between her lips. She shivers at the drastic change in temperature as she descends deeper and deeper underground. Frosted crystalized snowflakes form on the walls of the cell blocks and Asami finds herself being impressed with the power of Geten's Quirk. Even equipped with Quirk-erasing handcuffs, his power is still able to manifest around him.
She hears two voices speaking to one another down the dark hallway. She strains her hearing to catch what is being said between the two villains. She catches the voice of Geten speaking about the Himura family and their archaic way of maintaining Quirk purification through interfamilial marriages. He doesn't seem to give much of an opinion on the matter, but his tone does shift when he notices Asami approaching him to a more disapproving one.
He looks at her through almost white eyes, first at her face, then down to her belly, and back to her face. He sneers at her, "Looks like regardless of all their efforts for purification, I'll be getting myself a distant cousin."
Mr. Compress perks his attention to Asami as she turns away from the white-haired man and onto the one sitting across from him. "Well, this certainly makes things interesting," Mr. Compress states as he observes the clear swelling of her belly. "And to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit? I have to say, I did not expect you of all people to come visit me here. You should have said something, we would have tidied up."
She supposes that she deserves that treatment from them considering that she was the one that sold them out and got him into this cell.
"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier," Asami begins with a roughness in her tone that she doesn't try to clear out. "Things have been complicated upstairs."
"Complicated indeed," Mr. Compress nods.
"I suppose coming does here and asking you if you know what All For One and the League have planned for their attack would be a waste of breath?" she questions him as she turns her full attention to him.
Mr. Compress feigns a contemplative gesture before he drops his features to her. "Quite the waste of breath indeed. And the trip down here."
"The heroes have planned for every contingency that they can think of. Considering how much effort they've placed in predicting All For One's next move, I'm worried how this war will pan out for the League."
"That so?" he questions her with a tilt of his head in a disbelieving way.
Asami sighs and reaches for the bars of Mr. Compress' cell. She slowly drops herself to her knees so that she is on his level. "I know it's difficult for you to believe—considering my aiding the heroes—but I never wanted things to end like this for the League," she tells him honestly. "I tried to save Jin," she releases almost involuntarily. "And I tried to get Dabi to leave before things ended terribly for everyone." She throws her face into her hands as she feels crumbling defeat all around her. "I just fucked everything up even more."
She lets out a single sob before she desperately works to regain her composure. She tenses her jaw, knowing that tears will do her nothing here, and hating herself from crumbling when she wants to be strong in this moment.
"I know it doesn't mean anything now," she begins as she brushes away the tears with the back of her hand. "But I saw you all as a part of a family to me. Giving the heroes information was meant to keep the kids fighting in this war safe. It wasn't meant to put any of you in harm's way. I thought you all could be saved. I just wanted to do what I thought was right."
Mr. Compress examines Asami as her eyes remain down cast on the cell floor and unable to reach his harsh gaze. "Do you think the heroes will save the villains that they are set to fight?" he asks her.
She tenses at his unforgiving tone. "It's a hero's job to save people."
"And did they save Twice?"
Asami cringes at this, "Twice died because of me, not Hawks," she tells him firmly. "He died because he was going to kill so many others."
"And what will happen to Toga when she moves to kill other? Will you fail to save her as well? Or Dabi? Spinner? Shigaraki?"
"I want to save them, that's why I'm here, trying to find a way to do so," she tells him in an almost begging manner.
"Saved from a family that you yourself said you experienced, only to locked away here," he says outstretching his one good arm and numb of another arm to show off his cell. "What a life to live."
"I could argue that it was warranted when you decided to take a life," she challenges him.
"And I could argue that it was an inevitable response to a fractured society that we all fell victim to. Where were the heroes when Shigaraki was walking the streets alone? Where were the heroes when Toga's family forced her into Quirk counseling for something she cannot control? Where were the heroes when Twice needed a friend? Or when Spinner asked for equality among the heteromorphs? And well," he scoffs, "We all know where the heroes were for Dabi—or should I say Touya—as he was growing up."
Asami feels a sharp pain in her stomach, but she keeps herself from reacting as she attempts to look strong and unfazed by Mr. Compress's words. "In your time with us," Compress continues, "It didn't seem like we were the villains much, did it?" Asami doesn't answer him, and that's enough of an answer for him as he smiles with approval. "Things are a lot blurrier the more you try to focus in. I'm sure Hawks came to the same conclusion in all his time spent with Twice."
"If Japan submits to All For One and Shigaraki's demands, there will be no future moving forward. There will be absolute chaos and disorder," she tells him strongly. "You know that as well as I do. So how can we save the villains? Are we to allow them to go free? Even after everything that's been done?"
She feels another horrible pain in her gut, that causes her to grunt in pain and reach for her stomach.
"Maybe," Mr. Compress begins as he looks to the ceiling of his cell, "You mend what fractures caused the villains to turn to villainy in the first place." His brown eyes turn back to Asami's "With change comes repentance. It must stem from both sides."
Asami rushes out of the cell blocks as quickly as she can, feeling a hot sweat take over her body as goosebumps cover her skin. She's breathing heavily and involuntarily shakes as her limbs weak at the tips. Her hand shakes as she reaches up her skirt. Panic sets in as her fingers touch liquid, and when she pulls her hand up to her face, she sees crimson blood staining her fingertips.
Asami's legs shake as she begins running towards the upper levels of UA. She is closer to the dorms than she is Central Hospital, and she isn't sure if she will be able to make it to the hospital on her own. She feels another wave of sharp pain in her stomach that she ignores as she runs for Fuyumi's room.
She's used her Quirk on herself before. She may have been unconscious and unable to do it since, but she has been working tirelessly with Vlad King to better her control over her power. If any time is good for her to use her Quirk on herself, it is now.
When she reaches Fuyumi's door, Asami is banging on the barricade frantically. Her fist stains the wood red as she continues to lose blood. Within seconds, Fuyumi is at the door and looking onto her best friend with frightened eyes.
"It's too early," Asami huffs out, "I can't stop the blood."
Fuyumi springs into action, snaking her arm around Asami and taking on the brunt of her dead weight. She cried out her mother's name, and Rei is quick to run out of her room to join the girls. Endeavor soon follows behind his wife, eyes widening in shock at the sight of Asami bleeding before him.
Endeavor moves so quickly that Asami doesn't register him until he scoops her into his arms as if she were to weigh nothing. "I'll get her to the hospital," Endeavor informs them. "Call Recovery Girl and have her come quickly!"
Asami tries to open her mouth to say something to him, but the room around her begins tunneling from blood loss. She moans out her attempt to speak to Endeavor, but he quickly shuts down her words.
"Rest, I have you," he reassures her, and that's the last thing she hears before all goes black around her.
Present Day – Day 261
After hours in surgery and the help of Recovery Girl, Asami's eyes flutter open to find herself in a hospital bed with wires hooked up to almost every part of her body. She groans as she comes to, but doesn't seem to feel any pain.
The first eyes that are on hers are the kind grey eyes of Natsuo, sitting anxiously in the corner of the room. He quickly jumps up from his seat and is by her side, holding her hand.
"Nat—" Asami winces when she hears just how hoarse her voice sounds.
"You're alight," he tells her with a soft smile before his eyes flash from hers and up to the opposite side of the room. His smile grows larger at what he is looking at. "And so is he."
Asami turns from Natsuo to see Fuyumi holding a small bundle of blankets in her arms. She turns to Asami and carefully bends down to her bed to show her inside the bundle of blankets is a small little baby cooing in her arms.
Asami's lips part in awe as she lifts her arms to take the baby from her best friend. The exchange is done carefully as Asami's arms shake at the delicate child she now holds. She looks down, seeing just how small they are.
Tears begin falling from her eyes and she blinks them away quickly so they don't obscure her view. Small tuffs of white curly hair greet her as a tiny arm reaches for her face. Asami lets out a soft sob as the small babe looks onto its mother with the same lilac eyes.
"He's perfect," Fuyumi smiles happily at her friend who is adjusting to motherhood naturally.
"He?" Asami chuckles out as she looks down at her baby boy. Though he is so small, she cannot help but see the many similarities between the baby and Touya, and it makes her cry knowing that he's not here to see his son healthy and alive.
Fuyumi places her hand comfortingly on her best friend's shoulder, finding herself tearing up at the same bittersweet realization.
"Do you have a name?" Natsuo asks her.
Asami wipes away the tears from her cheek as she looks down at her son. "I always liked Ryuko," she smiles with a sniffle.