"What?!" Stabler exclaimed at the news, his voice echoing loudly in the moving van.
"It was her move, Elliot," Fin put his hand on his shoulder to calm him, "Nobody knew about it until after she did it. All Jet relayed on the comms was that your drink had been spiked and that you shouldn't drink it."
The realization that she had taken such a risk, put her life in danger for him, made Elliot feel both concerned and angry. The unknown substance in the drink might have been dangerous for her health. How could she do this?!
"Who's with her?" Stabler asked.
"She took a bus directly to Mercy." Bell tried to reassure him.
"Leave me a few blocks from here, I'll take a cab." He said, only one thing on his mind.
"Stabler-"
"I'm going with her." He said adamantly, his hand already on the handle of the car.
"We need to debrief first at OCCB. She's in good hands." She insisted.
"Ayanna, she's alone at the hospital, drugged on god-knows what, just after an undercover assignment that could have her followed. I'm going with her."
He exchanged a meaningful look with Fin, conveying that he wouldn't be absent from Benson's life anymore when she needed him.
"Let him go." Fin instructed Reyes behind the wheel.
Bell sighed, understanding the gravity of the situation, even though she didn't agree with the outcome.
Once at the hospital, Elliot located Olivia's room. Her eyes were closed, her arm connected to an IV and she looked too pale for his liking. He suspected they had induced vomiting to expel the unknown substance from her system as much as possible. Trying to calm the adrenaline in his system, he took a deep breath while standing in the middle of the room, not wanting to disturb her rest. But Olivia sensed his presence and opened her heavy lids.
"I'm fine, El." She said weakly, attempting to reassure him.
Elliot jumped at her voice. He took a few quick steps to reach her side.
"What were you thinking, Liv?!" He reprimanded in a loud whisper, mostly out of concern. "You didn't even know what you ingested!"
Olivia reached out slowly to grab his wrist, needing the physical connection to reassure them both.
"You would've done the same for me." She argued, meeting his eyes gently.
He couldn't deny that. He took a breath again.
"Why didn't you just throw the drink off to the side or something?" he asked, his anger now gone.
"I didn't think that far…"
He scoffed at her lame response. He also could relate to that, replaying in his mind how his head had spun when she had been so close to him earlier.
"I'm gonna be fine, El." She squeezed his wrist again and Elliot took her hand in both of his while sitting down on the nearest chair.
He exhaled, for the first time since he went out of that bar, starting to believe her. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his heartbeat. Olivia observed him, looking out for signs of his PTSD, while he tried to control his emotions.
"I'm sorry I scared you." She offered.
He looked up in surprise. She thought he was caught up with thoughts of Kathy. But he really wasn't, and the familiar feeling of guilt resurfaced. Looking at her, Elliot was overwhelmed at how Olivia had always been a significant part of his life. Of course, he had cared for his wife of thirty-plus years, but his feelings for Olivia were as, if not, more consuming now.
The thought of losing her, tonight or any other nights, was making him sick. He could never handle that, especially if it was in a situation where she got hurt because of him. Even though they spent 12 (25) years living with that possibility in the field, he couldn't bring himself to accept it any longer.
"We can't do this anymore." He murmured, catching Olivia off guard.
"What?"
"We can't work together anymore." He repeated louder.
Her face fell before she could stop herself. Olivia found herself hearing words from the past. We can't be partners anymore. Her eyes welled up, and Elliot quickly clarified, sensing her distress.
"Tonight, when you were…when you were breathing down my neck, Liv, I swear I couldn't think straight." He tried to explain.
She frowned. That wasn't the confession she thought he was going for.
"Actually," Elliot paused to gather his courage, "all I could think about in that moment was how I wanted to grab and kiss you."
She gasped at the revelation.
"You scared the hell out of me tonight," he reiterated. "And if you're willing to put yourself in danger like that for me…" She tried to object, but he stopped her. "And me for you," he continued, "it's too dangerous. We're putting the operation in peril, along with our lives."
His words lingered, the beeping of her monitor the only sound in the room. Their gazes locked, each trying to read the other's minds.
"What are you saying?" Olivia finally asked, afraid of the answer.
Elliot, still holding her hand in-between his, took a breath before answering.
"I'm saying we can't be in the field together anymore. We can work together in other ways, but no more undercovers. No more pretending." His last words carried more weight than anticipated.
The truth stung, but Olivia knew he was right. She knew she had crossed a line tonight. A line that had been very clear in the first twelve years of their partnership, but which was now blurred, dissipating as they navigated this whatever-it-was relationship between them. Possibilities were in front of them now and working through them while in the field was definitely not a good idea. They both knew it, but maybe tonight, they finally admitted it to themselves. Still, the idea made eyes welled up.
"You don't want to be partners anymore?" She asked, her voice small and sad.
"Of course I'm always going to be your partner, Benson. Just maybe not in the field…but in life, if you'll let me." He finished softly, his tone hopeful.
Olivia took her time to absorb his words.
"Partners, for better or worse." She offered, her eyes heavy again but a glimpse of happiness behind them.
Elliot smiled back, feeling a shift in the air between them. He raised her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently.
"That's right."
The end! Hope you enjoyed it 😊
Musical-Aven
January 2024