The scene starts with Blitzo and the crew driving their gray van along the street.
Blitzo: I love this song! *poorly singing along with "Mustang Dong" on the radio* You were a spicy little- uh- Demon with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair!
Loona is shown sitting in the passenger seat next to Blitzo, looking mildly annoyed at his singing. Moxxie covers his somehow non-existing ears in the back while Millie rolls down her window and smiles. Lincoln has his ears plugged as he had his phone out, likely texting Octavia.
Blitzo: Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare…
They drive into an old crowded parking lot.
Blitzo: Thooought it might be love, but you went-
A pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.
Blitzo: UNHOLY SHIT, FU-!
Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCKS-4-LIFE".
Blitzo: Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!
Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.
Blitzo: Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!
The passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.
Blitzo: Oh, shit! Verosika?!
Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.
Verosika: Blitz-o.
Blitzo: I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because I believe the nearest ocean is…
Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.
Blitzo: …three Rings DOWN!
Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.
Blitzo: Oh, yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!
Verosika: *flips her long hair back dramatically* They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups.
Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.
Verosika: So, your sister says "Hi".
Blitzo: *angrily steps in front of Verosika* Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!
Verosika: *leans down to him* Actually, prick. It has my name on it.
Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P is crossed out on the ground.
Verosika: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building...
Loona: *watching from the van* No way…
Lincoln: *peeks out of the van in surprise* What the- Is that-?!
Verosika: ... and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.
Blitzo: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!
Verosika: *removes her sunglasses* Awww, you mad, Blitz-o? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run…
Blitzo and Verosika: … run three rings to Wrath and max YOUR/MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!
Blitzo: Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!
Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock.
Verosika flips him the bird and walks away while Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van. Blitzo follows Verosika.
Blitzo: HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I'm gonna…
A towering muscular male Hellhound and a heavily scarred female Hellhound appear behind Blitzo and growl.
Female Hellhound: You'll what, asshole?
Blitzo: *glances around and stutters in fear* Or I'll… uh… uh, I- I'll call HR!
After a second of awkward silence, Verosika, Blitzo and the Hellhounds laugh as if in a sitcom.
Verosika: Anyway, meet my new Hellhounds, Vortex and Lynn. Unlike you, they actually do their jobs well.
Verosika leaves with her bodyguards. She glances over her shoulder as she flips Blitzo off.
Verosika: *looking back* Ta-ta, fuck stain.
Blitzo: Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that.
Loona: *kicks van door open and steps out* You know Verosika Mayday?!
Blitzo: Huh...? Oh, yeah. Her, yeah. We dated.
Millie: Was it before or after she became a pop star?
Moxxie: *opens the van door and steps out* You dated a pop star?!
Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?
Lincoln: Hellooo, it's Verosika Mayday?
Millie: It's you?
Moxxie: I just… *scratches his head* Is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?
Blitzo: Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.
Moxxie/Millie/Loona/Lincoln: You do that all the time, sir!/Come on, you kinda do that./You totally do that./Yes, you fucking do!
Millie grins mischievously, eyelids lowering.
Millie: What was sex with her like?
Lincoln: *disturbed* What the fuck, Mom?!
Moxxie: *taken aback* Millie!
Millie: Whaaaat?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like.
Moxxie: *about to scold Millie but changes his mind* …Touché.
Lincoln: *thinking in disgust* I really love my parents, but seriously, do they have to say their fucked up thoughts out loud like that?!
Blitzo: Okay, look, let's just drop it! Millie, j- find a temporary spot for that truck. *tosses the keys to Millie, who gleefully catches them (with a Mario jump sound effect) and runs to driver's side* Okay, Loonie, Moxxie, Linc, let's go handle this shit.
The scene cuts to Loona, Moxxie and Blitzo stepping out of an elevator. Loona walks nervously forward.
Loona: Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my makeup shitty today!
Lincoln: *rolls his eyes* First world problems.
Loona growls at Lincoln as Blitzo smiles at her with shining eyes.
Blitzo: Oh, you look perfect, Loonie! Like always~
Loona narrows her eyes and scowls.
Loona: Shut UP, da—
Blitzo looks at her with adoration on his face. Loona catches herself almost referring to Blitzo as "dad" and shoves him aside.
Loona: Urgh! Blitzo!
Loona checks her face in a handheld mirror, stepping over Blitzo before accidentally bumping into Vortex and Lynn. She looks up in embarrassment.
Loona: Oof! Oh. Woah…
Vortex and Lynn at Loona. Loona blushes and wags her tail at Vortex. Blitzo smiles at Loona before he gasps in shock. He moves between Loona and Vortex, his arms out.
Blitzo: Hiiii, assholes. Where's your bitch bag of an employer?
Lynn: In her office.
Vortex mentions to a nearby room with neon pink hearts over double doors. "V" and "M" are spray-painted on the door windows across from I.M.P. . office room.
Vortex: There wasn't room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one. It's cheaper.
Blitzo: Oh, COME ON!
Vortex: *scoffs* Sorry, man.
Vortex walks away.
Blitzo: *mutters* Oh, no you don't, bitch.
Moxxie: Sir… how about you let me go in and try to reason with her?
Lynn: *snickers* Your funeral, punk. *walks off*
Moxxie: I don't really listen to what's classified as "pop genre" music, so her status to me is name recognition alone-
Lincoln: *covers Moxxie's mouth with his paw* Dad, you go in there, you are most DEFINITELY going to regret it... and Mom will probably- no, scratch that, will DEFINITELY slaughter everyone in that room.
Blitzo tunes Moxxie out with a glare.
Moxxie: *lowers Lincoln's paw from his mouth* In my opinion, her music is a bit derivative of-
Blitzo: Moxxie, shut the fuck up!
Moxxie: *heads over to Verosika's office* Alrighty, then.
Lincoln: Dad! *face palms* God damnit…
Moxxie pushes open the doors and goes inside. The silhouettes of Moxxie, Verosika and her gang of demons are seen through the glass window.
Moxxie: Hello, Miss Verosika, was it? I work for I.M.P, and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-
Coco: *points to Moxxie* Aw, look at the little one. He's got a wittle bow tie!
Moxxie: Please don't condescend me, ma'am. I—
Josh: Want a kissy, little guy?
Moxxie: A kind offer, but… I'm married. And a father.
The gang of demons surround Moxxie.
Verosika: Hey… why don't you send a little message from me back to your limp-dick… boss?
The demon silhouettes bare their fangs over Moxxie to sexually assault him.
Moxxie: *screams* Don't touch that!
Lincoln and Blitzo race and press their hands against the window.
Lincoln: *alarmed* DAD!
Blitzo: Moxxie, don't let her access any of your holes!
Moxxie races back into the hall, panting with his back against the door. He walks past them, battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over his face.
Moxxie: *stuttering and shaken* I… I gotta go lie down… now.
Moxxie falls face-first onto the ground offscreen. Lincoln's pupils shrink as he looks furious, growling in pure rage.
Lincoln: This! Won't! *roars* STAND!
Lincoln rips the door off its hinges, startling Verosika and her posse. He runs at Verosika, snarling and roaring, but gets held back by Loona in a Full Nelson, even though she's just as startled by his rage.
Loona: *startled* Lincoln, will you calm the fuck down?!
Lincoln: *thrashing* GET OFF ME, LOONA! I'M MAULING THAT SKANK INTO THE DIRT TILL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT!
Blitzo: Alright…! *bleep* THAT'S IT!
Blitzo stomps toward Verosika.
Blitzo: If you're gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fuckin'… challenge! *to himself* Fuck, I said that twice.
Kiki: Mmmm… Is this Imp boy starting a demon duel?
Verosika: *Chuckles* I think he is!
Verosika leans in toward Blitzo. Lincoln is still thrashing and growling.
Verosika: What's the game then, Blitz-o?
Blitzo: Every year, you STD spreaders go up topside for easy pickin's while spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds! So I bet... you succu-bitches can't fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.
The succubi laugh. Blitzo glares in determination as Lincoln growls even more. They stop laughing.
Verosika: Oh, you're serious?
She leans in close to Blitzo's face, speaking in a low whisper.
Verosika: Game on… bitch.
Later at I.M.P headquarters, Blitzo stands in front of the whiteboard. Behind him is an easel with drawings on paper. The other I.M.P members sit at a table and listen.
Blitzo: Alright, shut your assholes! Here's how we're gonna do this shit! First, we find a fuck ton of clients.
The animated drawings on the paper show Blitzo, Loona, Lincoln, Millie and Moxxie standing together. A bunch of Imps and clients surround them with bags of money.
Blitzo: We portal up.
Blitzo drawing snaps his fingers. The I.M.P figures fall down.
Blitzo: We have our fun murder time as per usual.
The I.M.P drawings kill off human drawings with guns.
Blitzo: We pile all the bodies into a big fuckin' canoe.
The human bodies are tossed into a canoe that reads S.S. Cum Gutter.
Blitzo: We push said canoe into some water.
Blitzo drawing kicks the canoe full of bodies away from the dock.
Blitzo: We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles 'n shit. Maybe a goose, too! Fuck it!
Animated drawings of sharks, snakes, eagles and creatures eat the bodies set on fire in the canoe. A large octopus chomps the entire ship and the animals.
Blitzo: They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet…
The I.M.P drawings cheer and the Loona figure wears a party hat.
Blitzo: We rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore-ass face...
The I.M.P. members give a Verosika drawing several middle fingers. The Verosika drawing bursts into tears. The scene cuts back to the meeting.
Blitzo: Do you have… any questions? *throws pointer stick through a window*
Moxxie: Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?
Blitzo: *walks over to Moxxie* That wasn't a question.
Moxxie: That wasn't a plan.
Blitzo: *puts a hand around Moxxie* I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox. It's not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs.
Moxxie: A what now?
Blitzo: I'm callin' ya slow, Moxxie. God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you *begins poking Moxxie in the chest* talentless baby dicked troll?!
Moxxie: *climbs onto table in anger* Well, why don't you *points at Blitzo and points at him* take an art class?
Blitzo: *grabs Moxxie and throws him back in his chair* Why don't you see how EXPENSIVE they are?!
Lincoln: As much of an asshole as he is, he's right. Those things are expensive.
Loona: Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?
Blitzo: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you AND Lincoln!
Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Lincoln, and Loona simultaneously break the fourth wall by glaring disapprovingly at the camera, presumably looking at Helluva Boss's furry viewers.
Loona: Well, w-we can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along.
Blitzo: Wait, say that again.
Lincoln: We can... blend in…?
Millie: Do you have human disguises?
Loona: Yeah. Don't you?
The imps nervously look at each other, eyes side to side as Lincoln shakes his head.
Loona: You four have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time… without human disguises?!
Lincoln: Look, in their defense, Imps don't have easy access to transformation magic like us. Plus, it's not like anyone sees us. They're either ignorant, stupid, or end up dead.
Loona: … Okay, that's fair enough.
Blitzo: Okay, new plan!
Blitzo quickly scribbles on a piece of paper and hangs it on the easel. It shows Loona and Lincoln surrounded by humans with hearts around them.
Blitzo: Loonie and Linc can help lure the humans to us, and we'll take care of the rest. Okay, how about that?
Millie: Flawless logic.
Moxxie: I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre!
Blitzo: I got that covered, Mox.
Later, Blitzo puts up a ratty flyer reading "Spring Break Victim, 50% Off!" with drawings of Blitzo, a dead victim and horses. Blitzo walks to Moxxie.
Blitzo: Now... we wait.
Moxxie: Sir... there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with *one poorly spelled, bad grammar flyer!*
Moxxie and Blitzo look to see demons lining up, including Travis, looking at the flyer. Blitzo grins smugly and elbows Moxxie. Blitzo strolls toward the other demons.
Blitzo: Now, who's first?
Pan over to Lincoln as his phone goes off. He pulls it out and sees a text message from Octavia.
Octavia: "Wyd?"
Lincoln: "Got into a bet with Blitzo's ex, so probably a whole bunch of killing."
Octavia: "Sounds way better than what I'm doing. All I'm listening to is my dad and that bitch arguing."
Lincoln: "Wanna come with us?"
Octavia: "And give my eardrums a break? Fuck yes."
The scene cuts to a beach in the human world. People happily walk around, relax and talk. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Lincoln, and Octavia hide behind coral-covered rocks under a dock.
Blitzo: Now, remember, we can't be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona and Lincoln can help with leading targets to a better spot to off 'em. You got the lists, Loonie and Linc?
Loona skims a long list in her hands and gives it a sniff. Lincoln simply holds his out.
Loona: Got it.
Lincoln: Yep.
Loona stands up and in a swirling flash of blue light, she transforms into a human version of herself. Lincoln stands up and calmly walks out, and the moment the light touches him, he changes into a human form too. The imps stare in shock.
Blitzo: Ohhhhh, Loonie, look at you. You look…downright awful!
Loona glares at Blitzo.
Blitzo: I am so proud.
Lincoln: *faces his parents and crush* How do I look?
Millie: You look sick, Linc!
Moxxie: Nice look, kiddo!
Octavia, meanwhile, was beet red at seeing Lincoln's human form.
Octavia: *blushing and stuttering* Y-You look… g-great…
Lincoln: *blushes a little* Heh...
Blitzo: *rolls his eyes* Yeah, yeah, flatter yourself later. Now, fetch!
Loona peers in front of her, her target humans outlined in red in her vision. Loona smirks and strolls over to a tall man wearing sunglasses. She moves a finger toward his chest and gives him a flirtatious grin. She motions behind her and to a private alleyway. Loona leads him into the alleyway and leans against the wall. The man reaches out to grab her in lust but is shot in the head by Blitzo spying on the roof. He gives Loona a thumbs up.
Lincoln is leading a brown haired girl into an alleyway. As she reaches to take her top off, Lincoln pulls out a knife and throws it through her head, killing her instantly.
In the next shot, a blonde man runs to Loona in an alleyway with a hungry lustful look on his face. He is caught in a noose by Blitzo. On a rooftop, a black haired girl leans in to kiss Lincoln, but Millie knocks her off the roof with a kick. The girl falls into a dumpster that Moxxie slams shut. Loona walks with a fat man down the sidewalk and a flower pot crashes into his head. Blitzo kills a woman with a knife, Millie kills a white haired woman with a spiked baseball bat, another woman gets shot in the head.
Blitzo and the gang put the bodies in bloodstained dark trash bags, closing them. In the background, Millie jumps on another body.
Blitzo: That's nine kills in the bag!
Lincoln: *walks over, dragging a LOT of bloodstained trash bags* Make that twenty-nine. I finished my list.
Blitzo: *checks the list and laughs* UNHOLY SHIT! Kid, go ahead and take a break! You fucking earned it!
Lincoln: You sure? *Blitzo nods* Alright. *looks around and notices something* Wait, where's Octavia?
Octavia: *off-screen* Right here.
Lincoln turns around, only for his eyes to go wide and his face turns beet red as he sees Octavia is in a human form, with fair skin, long black hair instead of feathers, black lips, and pink eyes.
Lincoln: *stunned, blushing* Wh-Whoa, Via… Y-You look… you look amazing…
Octavia: *blushes and smiles, glances away* Th-Thanks…
Lincoln: I didn't... know you had a human form too...
Octavia: It got boring under the docks, and I needed to blend in... so, I looked up a transformation spell in my father's book and gave myself a human transformation.
Lincoln: *smiles* It really works…
Octavia: *her blush gets darker* Thanks...
Blitzo: Well, with us having twenty-nine kills, I'd like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many-
Verosika: Alright, spring breakers! Y'all ready to get fucked up and make some BITCHIN' BAD CHOICES?!
The audience cheers. A fan boy rips his shirt that has her name written on his chest.
Fan boy: Verosika!
Verosika: This is your final boarding call. All aboard~
Verosika launches into "Vacay to Bonetown". "Fuck you Blitzo" appears on the screens. Blitzo growls like a rabid animal, literally foaming at the mouth.
Verosika: Pack your bags. Sun's out. Take a vacay, babe. Take it straight to bone town.
The humans make out with others around them. kiss, hug, grind on each other. A disguised Milky shows a human a popsicle with semen-like saliva on it as several other succubi and incubi grin and sneak up on the humans as Verosika continues singing.
Verosika: *off-screen* V-time, free time, baby, relax. Self-care, no hair, Brazilian wax. Hornt up succu-bus to the beach. Catch some rays while catching some D.
Lincoln: *frowning* Horny bastards…
Blitzo: God DAMMIT! That bitch started her goadish mating call! Now, she's gonna win all these sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up, guys!
A vomiting blonde man is seen next to Blitzo.
Blitzo: *points to vomiting man* He on the list, Loonie?
Loona: Huh? Yeah… I- I think so.
A distracted Loona looks at Vortex guarding the stage, with Lynn guarding as well.
Blitzo: Good!
Blitzo takes out a red and black axe.
Blonde man: Oh, whoa! What are you? A leprechaun? *Laughs*
Blitzo: *off-screen* Yeah... Pretty cool, huh?
Blitzo cleaves his head in half with the axe.
Blitzo: But, you sure as shit ain't gonna tell nobody! Alright, next one, Loonie, c'mon!
Lincoln *off-screen* Uh... Blitzo?
Blitzo: *looks over* What is it, Linc-?
Blitzo glances around to find Loona nowhere in sight. Her outline flashes. He panics.
Blitzo: Wha- Wha- Wh- *distraught, tears in his eyes* WHERE'S MY BABYYYYYY?!
Octavia points to the stage, and Blitzo looks. Loona is seen walking towards Vortex. Blitzo notices, and his fatherly dread quickly turns to seething anger. Loona checks her makeup as two men French kissing fall to the ground at her feet, and someone offscreen throws their bikini top which lands on Loona's head.
Lincoln: Octavia and I will get her. *he and Octavia walks over*
The fanboy runs toward Verosika on stage as she sings the next chorus in "Vacay to Bonetown" but Vortex and Lynn notice and punch him into the ground, head first. Vortex drags the man away in the distance as Lynn follows. Loona walks over toward Vortex, avoiding a French-kissing couple and tossing aside a bra, but is stopped by Josh, who smirks at her, eyebrows raised. She backhands him hard.
Verosika: Now, who wants a piece of this?!
Verosika tosses her Beelzejuice bottle into the ocean, creating a golden portal. A fish appears, which rapidly grows into a monster.
Loona walks over nervously toward Vortex and Lynn.
Loona: *nervously* Heyyyy… you…!
Vortex: Oh, hey. You're one of the hounds workin' for our boss's freaky ex.
Loona: Yeah. *chuckles* Sorry if that's weird.
Lynn: It's cool. Her beef ain't ours.
Vortex: We're not paid enough to care.
Lincoln: *he and Octavia arrive* What's going on?
Lynn: Nothin', dude. Just talkin'.
Loona: *nervously* Yeah! Yeah. I'm Loona!
Vortex: Okay. *mimics her nervous tone and smile* I'm Vortex!
Loona: That's hot... I mean, like, literally, y'know, 'cause vortexes... y'know, they give off heat. Probably. Right? *bites lip nervously*
Vortex: Uh, yeah. *chuckles* I guess. But my friends call me Tex.
Lynn: Name's Lynn.
Loona: Oh, yeah? I wish I had friends. *chuckles nervously* I mean... No, I mean, I don't... I… I don't have friends.
Octavia: *still hears the song and groans* This song sucks. I'd much rather hear Lincoln sing, and I mean that in a good way.
Lynn: *looks at the wide-eyed Lincoln* You sing too?
Lincoln: *scratches the back of his head* Um... y-yeah, but- um- n-not often, no…
Vortex: *smiles* Heh, I bet you're pretty damn good.
Octavia: *smiles* He is. *Lincoln goes red as he glances away*
Blitzo arrives and stands between them.
Blitzo: Am I... interrupting something?
Vortex: Nah, man. Just having a conversation.
Blitzo: *pokes Vortex* "Conversation" leads to HPV!
Lynn: … We're demons, dude. How the hell would we get HPV?
Moxxie and Millie hide behind metal barrels.
Moxxie: And... we've lost him. *sighs* It's looking like it's up to us to handle the rest of the list.
Millie: Hell yeah! Team M and M, gettin' shit done, makin' the moneys!
Moxxie and Millie run off in the sunset and kill more people starting with the ice cream shop before jumping over the rooftop to kill some more.
Loona: Blitzo, get the fuck out of here! You're gonna get us all into shit!
Blitzo: I just wanted to see what was so important that you'd be distracted from your job.
Loona: What, I can't have a break? You gave Lincoln one.
Blitzo: We have a parking spot on the line! And he earned his break!
Lincoln: *under his breath* Oh boy...
Lynn: Hey, dickhead. Why don't you chill out?
Blitzo: Why don't you stay out of it?! Okay, this is our business!
Blitzo holds up a drawing with his tail that shows a diagram of himself killing a human equaling money and earning money equals a horse.
Blitzo: Literally!
Loona: *groans in frustration, fixes bangs* Fuck, Blitzo! Why can't you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?!
Blitzo: Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something!
Loona: Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!
Blitzo: It still counts!
Loona: Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't now!
Lincoln: *quietly* … Ouch.
Millie and Moxxie hide behind a table with steel barrels of beer. Millie loads a crossbow for Moxxie to take it. He peeks over and prepares to shoot when a human man comes over and throws the beer can down.
Skool: Wooo! Yeah! Party! Let's do thiiiss!
Skool knocks the cans aside, sending Moxxie and Millie into the air. Moxxie lands in front of dozens of people. A woman points at Moxxie in disgust.
Woman: Eggggh! Oh my god, it's a fucking possum!
Moxxie: Oh, crumbs!
Moxxie tries to get away, but one of the partygoers catches him by the tail.
Skool: I got it!
Skool picks up Moxxie and shoves him into a barrel of beer. The group cheer about "beer possum" as they take turns volleying the barrel away. Moxxie drinks the beer inside and gets drunk.
Skool: *off-screen* Beer possum! Beer possum!
Partygoer 1: *off-screen* Get ready to get fucked up!
Partygoer 2: *off-screen* Ready to get fuuucked!
Loona tries to say something to the upset Blitzo, who crosses his arms.
Loona: Uh… Blitzo… I'm-
Blitzo: Enjoy your break, Loonie. *I'm* gonna go kill something!
Loona: Ugggh…
Octavia: Damn... that was kinda fucked up, Loona…
Lincoln: Yeah.
Lynn: No kidding.
Vortex: Damn, girl. That was savage. *[places a comforting hand on her shoulder]* You okay?
Loona: *blushes* Yeah, I'm fine. He'll get over it. He always does.
Vortex: *chuckles* I'm glad you could stick up for yourself, at least. Mmm! Takes guts.
Loona: Thanks.
Millie runs behind a few stacks of beer kegs toward a wobbling barrel. She opens it and the barrel tips over. Moxxie burps as the beer spills out onto the ground.
Millie: Moxxie!
Moxxie: *drunk* Millieee! Hiiii! Hey. Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em. *Makes smooching noises*
Millie picks up the drunken Moxxie. The fish monster emerges from the ocean. The humans and the succubus saw the monster. The monster crushes a relaxing human, sending blood everywhere. The humans scream and run away. Blitzo looks at the monster as he finishes choking another man. The fish monster roars.
Moxxie: *drunk* Ooooh! Fish.
The monster wraps its tongue around Moxxie, pulls him closer and closes its mouth.
Moxxie: *drunk* Hehehe… Weeeeee…
Lincoln: *sees this and immediately changes back to his Hellhound form* DAD!
Millie spots a spring breaker with a cocktail and kills him with a knife. She lights a cloth on fire and tosses a Molotov cocktail at the fish. The fish loses balance and falls down.
Millie: *glances over at her son* LINC! COME ON!
Lincoln was way ahead of her as he pounced onto the fish and used his claws to scale the fish's body. Millie was right behind him, as she sliced up the fish's body with her knife. They pry open the fish's mouth, seeing Moxxie punching the monster's uvula. Lincoln reaches out his hand toward Moxxie, who briefly gives him a high five. Lincoln grabs hold of him as Millie slices the tongue, freeing both of them, before Lincoln suddenly hurls his parents back to the beach. Moxxie smiles, closes his eyes and spreads his arms as he flies. He lands into Blitzo's arms as Millie lands on the sand. A human man celebrates after avoiding getting hit from the tongue, but Blitzo kills him with his flintlock out of annoyance. Moxxie laughs hysterically.
Millie: *sits up, worried* Lincoln!
Inside of the monster's mouth, Lincoln punches the tongue as the monster spits him out, and Lincoln starts wrestling with it.
Moxxie: *drunk* We raised that pup right...
Lincoln leaps into the air with his claws and lands inside the monster. He slices open its stomach from the inside as it falls over dead, before tiredly making his way back to shore, blood and water soaked into his fur.
Lynn: … Unholy fuck, dude!
Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah, way to show off, Linc!
Lincoln: *shakes the water and blood off* Is my dad okay?!
Blitzo: Oh, yeah. He's fine.
Octavia: *off-screen* Lincoln!
Lincoln glances over, only to get hugged and nearly knocked over by Octavia, who's discarded her human form.
Octavia: *sternly* You idiot! You had me worried sick rushing in like that!
Lincoln: Look, I'm sorry! It was either saving my drunk dad or watching on the sides like an idiot!
Octavia: *sternly pulls on his ear, making him wince* You better be more careful. Got it?
Lincoln: *wincing* O-Okay, okay! I promise!
Octavia: *lets go* Good.
As Lincoln rubs his ear, Octavia hugs him more gently, causing his tail to start wagging a bit.
Millie holds Moxxie in her arms as Moxxie grins with a doped expression.
Moxxie: *Drunken* Thiiiis is funny. I'm sooooo… drinky.
Millie hugs Moxxie, happily laughing.
Blitzo: Ooookay, this is too wholesome for my liking.
Verosika: Blitz-o.
Blitzo: Oh, perfect. That must be the whores!
Verosika: That was handled rather… obvious… Don't you think?
Millie: I don't think this belonged to any of us.
Lincoln tosses the flask back to Verosika, who catches it, then drop-passes it to Milky.
Lincoln: Would be a real shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world. *smug grin* Now wouldn't it?
Moxxie: *Laughs* Oh, Satan! You're gonna be so… FUUUUCKED! *Continues laughing drunkenly*
Verosika: Yeah, well… you three nasty-ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises!
Lincoln: Pfft, oh please! Everyone at this beach was either too drunk or too stupid!
Moxxie: *faceplants into the sand and looks up* A human called me a possum. I am not a *faceplants again* possum!
Blitzo: *as Lincoln picks Moxxie up and hands him to Millie* Y'know, we could keep this little B-movie scene on the down low if you agree to let us use that parking space.
Lincoln: Not to mention, I can smell that *smugly crosses his arms* we killed a LOT more than you whores fucked, so we win either way.
Verosika: … Fine!
Blitzo: WE FUCKIN' WOOOOOOON! *laughs triumphantly*
Millie: Fuck YEAH!
Blitzo: IN YOUR FACE, BIIIITCH!
Verosika: *scoffs* Come on, let's get out of here. Tex! Lynn!
Lynn: Well... guess it's time to bounce. See ya around, Loona.
Vortex: And hey, if you're ever down to party, I'll give you a ring sometime.
Loona: Really?! I mean, heh…yeah. Yeah.
Vortex: Yeah! My girlfriend throws a ton of crazy hound parties.
As Vortex mentions his girlfriend, Loona's expression shifts into dejection.
Lincoln: *he and Octavia overhear this and grimace* Oof... friend-zoned...
Octavia: Ouch...
Loona: *dejected* Nice. Can't wait for my first one.
Vortex: *chuckles* Let's get you some friends, girl.
Vortex gives her a playful punch before following Verosika. Loona looks downcast at seeing Vortex leave and being reminded of her confrontation with Blitzo as well as the reveal her crush already has a partner. Lynn playfully punches her arm, causing Loona to look at her.
Lynn: Hey, chin up, girl. You'll find someone.
Loona slightly smiles as Lynn returns the smile.
Blitzo: Come on, Loonie Tooney! Let's go back and park our fat fuckin' car in our fat fuckin' space!
I.M.P go through the portal. Loona falls through the portal backwards.
Blitzo jumps up and mockingly flips the double bird through the portal, making Verosika growl in anger.
Verosika and her gang huddle together in fear as the police, a clown, and a mine robot surround them, guns pointed.
Police: PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU SICK DEVIANTS!
Verosika: Alright, sluts. Get ready to suck a lot of pig dick.
Her gang all sigh and groan in disgust as they raise their hands in defeat and groan… until a blast of ice flies over them and freezes the entire army of police. Verosika and her posse look back and see Lincoln and Octavia, the latter holding the Grimoire in one hand and the other hand glowing with a frosty mist.
Octavia: *smug smirk* You're welcome.
Lincoln: Might as well take our portal back to Hell.
Verosika snarls to herself as she walks past the two teens and enters the portal. The rest of her posse approach.
Milky: Why did you two do that?
Lincoln: We may be demons, but we've got standards. We aren't letting one of our suffer in jail. *snarls a bit* Despite what you did to my father.
The posse looked away in slight embarrassment.
Lincoln: So I'll let you all off with a warning. Do that shit to someone I love again, and sucking pig dick will be the LAST of your worries. *snarls* Understand?
Apple: *nods* Yes, sir.
Ace: *nods* Loud and clear.
Lincoln: Good.
The posse enter the portal, leaving just Lynn and Vortex with Lincoln and Octavia.
Vortex: Hey, thanks for doing that.
Lynn: No kidding. I was half ready to tear those cops in half myself.
Lincoln: *shrugs* We figured it'd be less messy. Besides, you two seem the most cool out of your group.
Lynn: *smirks* Heh, we can say the same about you two.
Vortex: If you two are ever down to party, come down to the Gluttony Ring. That's where my girl throws her crazy hound parties.
Lincoln: *smiles* We'll keep that in mind.
The four of them share a fist bump as Vortex and Lynn then enter the portal. Octavia smiles at Lincoln, before she jumps into the portal as well. As Lincoln goes to enter, he suddenly hears a chilling whistle tune. He frantically turns in the direction of the frozen police squad, and sees the cloaked Hellhound bounty hunter from his past standing between the frozen cops. Lincoln's eyes widen as his breathing starts to pick up, and the Hellhound puts two gold coins on his eyes and points at Lincoln as if saying "You're next." Lincoln gasps and frantically jumps into the portal, making the Hellhound smirk cruelly.
During the credits, Blitzo sings over the rest of "Mustang Dong", his voice cracking heavily on the final line.
Blitzo: Oh, my god! I just went through puberty twice!