The scene opens up with a city shot that pans down on Imp City. Yelling can be heard in the background. Loona and Octavia can be seen each reading a copy of a magazine called "IMP GOSSIP" with Verosika Mayday on the front page. Octavia has begun hanging out at I.M.P on weekends instead of being with Stella, for obvious reasons.
Loona is drinking out of a glass bottle. She places the bottle on an open page of Stolas's grimoire and it rolls off the table. The page of the book glows and creates a portal to the human world. A tree falls through the portal, along with a severed head. Moxxie peers out of the fallen tree, carrying a chainsaw. Blitzo walks into the office.
Blitzo: Woo, that was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!
Lincoln leaps through the portal with a prideful howl. Ronnie Anne, Lana and Lola come out, howling as well. Millie crawls across the floor like a crab, with an axe between her teeth.
Lincoln: That... was FUCKIN' AWESOME!
Ronnie Anne: Fuck yeah it was!
Lana and Lola: Yeah! *high-five*
A bark is heard as Charles runs through the portal, holding a severed arm between his teeth. Following behind Charles was a dark gray Demon Cat with goat-like horns and glowing blue eyes. This is Cliff, another pet of Lana's, and he was dragging a severed leg in by the ankle, his paws soaked in blood. Lana ruffles their heads proudly.
Millie: *yells* I'm still so jazzed up!
She snaps the axe in half and laughs. She then walks over near the rest of the group.
Moxxie: Well you better stay jazzed, *points finger guns* babe, because guess where I'm taking you tonight?
Blitzo: Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence Moxxie. Besides, drinks are on me tonight. Let's hit up the new dive down the street.
Moxxie: Actually, sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary. So, I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!
Millie's eyes sparkle and she squeals in delight.
Millie: *gasps* Ozzie's?! No way!
Ronnie Anne: *stunned* That place is always booked!
Lola: How'd you manage that, Mox?
Moxxie: Yeah, well, I've been planning it for quite a while.
Millie: Moxxie!
She jumps into Moxxie's arms and kisses his face before they both start French kissing and making out. Lincoln looks away as Octavia and the female Zodiac Hellhounds snicker.
Lincoln: *disgusted* Ugh! Mom, Dad, save that for the bedroom or Ozzie's!
Blitzo: *groans* Yeah, can you two not?
Moxxie: I'm sorry, guys. Maybe another time?
Blitzo: No, it's fine! I-I can come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy.
Moxxie: Uh, no. The reservation is for us.
Blitzo: Uh huh!
Moxxie: Just us.
Blitzo: Mhm!
Moxxie: Without you there.
Lincoln: Blitzo, it's explicitly without you there.
Blitzo: I'll wear something nice. It's a big deal after all. *hugs the two tightly* See you lovebugs later!
He whistles on his way out.
Lincoln: *rolls his eyes in exasperation* Aaaaaaand, this night is ruined.
Ronnie Anne: Someone oughta keep Blitzo on a leash.
Lana: No kidding. He's got no respect for personal space or privacy at all.
Lola: Hell, Lana's pets know better than to invade personal space.
Charles and Cliff, who were chewing on the severed limbs, bark or meow in response. Moxxie growls.
Millie: Relax, sweetie, don't let him get to you today. Let's just go home and… *flirtatiously* clean this blood off.
Moxxie blushes, flustered. She drags her finger down from Moxxie's chest and makes a seductive purring sound. They walk offscreen.
Ronnie Anne: Well, at least your mom is trying to keep the mood right.
Lincoln: *shrugs* That's how she's always been.
Lana: *looks at her twin* She's definitely wearing the pants of the relationship.
Lola: *snickers* Oh, easily.
Lincoln gives them a glare, making them flinch as he snarls. Charles and Cliff are in a tug-of-war with the severed leg.
The scene cuts to Hell's version of a subway.
Intercom: Elevator 666 departing for Lust *in seductive tone* in 5 minutes.
Moxxie fixes his bowtie, Millie walks on screen. They both walk off together and Blitzo peers from on the other side of a pillar. Millie and Moxxie sit down in a waiting area as Blitzo spies on them behind a newspaper and calls Loona.
Loona: *voicemail* Yeah, it's Loona. Whoever you are, go for it.
Blitzo: Hey, Loonie. Just wanted to let you know I'm not gonna be back home until real late. I got something important tonight.
Blitzo ends the voicemail and smirks. The scene cuts to several flickering neon signs. Then it zooms out to the front of Ozzie's and cuts to Moxxie and Millie walking inside the building. Blitzo attempts to follow them in, but the bouncer, Jesse, pulls him aside.
Jesse: Woah there, buddy. Got a reservation?
Blitzo: Oh, yeah. I'm with those two.
Jesse: This club is for couples only.
Blitzo: It's what?
Jesse: No date, no reservation, *leans in with a snarl* no entry.
Blitzo looks up and down at Jesse, and tries to pick up the bouncer as his date, instead.
Blitzo: ...Y-you know, *bats eyes* you have really nice eyes, daddy?
He gets thrown into the lid of a dumpster, then shut inside. Blitzo pops up out of the trash.
Blitzo: You fucking prude! *Flips him off behind his back*
He gets out, his tail gets caught, and he ends up on top of trash bags. He crosses his arms in thought, but then gets an idea and smiles mischievously.
It cuts to Stolas in his mansion's dining area, pouring milk into his cereal. He groans as it shows him sitting at an empty table. He carries his bowl to a couch and covers himself with a blanket. Stolas turns on the TV to "Hell-a-Novela" and slumps down.
Gabriella: Ay, why won't you *love* me Alejandro?
Stolas: That's a mood, Gabriella. *eats a spoonful of cereal*
The telephone rings. Smoke comes out and says "Blitzy is calling". Stolas realizes and slightly chokes but then scrambles over to the phone, spilling his bowl and getting stuck in his blanket in the process.
Stolas: Helloo? Hello, Blitzy?
Blitzo: Stolas, heyyy. You-uh, shit… you busy tonight?
Stolas: Umm, why do you ask?
Blitzo: I was wondering if you… wanna come with me to a club tonight?
Stolas: Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy? *blushing and his pupils turn into hearts*
Blitzo: I-yes, I suppose that is what's happening. How fast can you get down to Lust?
Stolas: *already at his closet* I can be ready in twenty!
Blitzo: Alright, fantastic. See you soon.
Stolas: I'll see you, Blitzy~
Stolas pulls out an outfit, transitioning to him putting on eyeliner, looking in the mirror. He turns around and puts on blush. It switches over to Blitzo pacing back and forth on a street.
Blitzo: Come on, come on, come on…
Stolas arrives and steps through a glowing portal behind Blitzo.
Stolas: Oh, Blitzy. I'm here~
A spotlight appears on Blitzo.
Blitzo: Wow. That's a bit overkill, don't ya think?
Stolas: *chuckles as he fixes his suit* W-well, I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all.
They both walk off together, holding hands.
Blitzo: Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh.
Zoom out/Pan to the right, showing Lincoln and Octavia watching this from afar, both enraged.
Lincoln: Oh, that fucking ASSHAT!
Octavia: Using my father just to spy on your parents?! I didn't think he could sink any lower!
Jesse: You, again? Beat it, shithea-
Stolas: Ahem!
Jesse looks up and sees Stolas, who's glaring at him while holding hands with Blitzo.
Stolas: Do we have a problem?
Jesse: ...Oh! Uh, shit! Uh, my apologies, your highness. Uh, please go right in.
Blitzo pops out behind the curtain and flips off the bouncer before going inside. Cut to Lincoln, growling in anger and annoyance.
Lincoln: I can handle that piece of shit spying on us on any other day… but THIS is the last fucking straw!
Octavia: Well, what do you suppose we do?
Lincoln: *calms a bit and sighs* I don't know, Via. I just wish someone would give him some payback of some kind.
Octavia's eyes widen a bit as she smirks a bit.
Octavia: Then why don't we?
Lincoln: *looks at her in surprise, but then slowly smirks* ... Keep talking.
Blitzo and Stolas enter Ozzie's and find a table.
Stolas: *gasps* Oh, MY! Oh, no; No, but, yes! Oh, Blitzo, how romantic is this? What made you choose such a place to bring me?
Blitzo: *pulls out a pair of binoculars* Oh, it just sounded like- I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know? *spots his employees* Gotcha!
Stolas: Oh, Blitzo. What are you looking at?
Blitzo: *without looking at him* I'm looking at nothing; how about that?
A waitress named Crane comes over to their table.
Crane: Can I get you two off- I mean, start you two off with some drinks?
Stolas: Yes! Um, perhaps some wine to share; do you prefer red wine or white, Blitzo? Or perhaps some champagne?
Blitzo: *still not facing him* Yeah, whatever.
Stolas: *nervously chuckles* Well, perhaps all three. Why not? So, Blitzo, how was your day?
Blitzo: *finally looks at Stolas* Huh? Oh, good I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos
Stolas: THAT sounds fun! How did you kill them?
Blitzo: How? I-I-I mean, there was a lot of them, so I-bullets.
Stolas: Right, right... so, what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?
Blitzo: Uhhhh…
Back outside, Jesse sees Lincoln, who's dressed in an orange tuxedo, walk up in the line.
Jesse: You got a reservation or a partner?
Octavia: *off-screen* He's with me.
Octavia walks up in a beautiful astral themed dress, linking her arm with Lincoln. Lincoln goes red as his tail wags.
Jesse: Oh! *bows* Please, go right in! My apologies, Princess!
Lincoln and Octavia enter Ozzie's and find a table.
Octavia: You see them?
Lincoln: *looking around* Not yet… *spots Blitzo and Stolas* Got em.
Music starts playing and several dancers descend from the ceiling.
Fizzarolli: *voiceover* Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! *descends from the center stage* Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!
Octavia: Oh fuck… it's that fucking clown… the REAL one.
Lincoln: *growls* Fucking shit…
Stolas: Did he just say Asmodeus?
Blitzo: Oh, no fucking way. Not HIM! *hides behind a menu*
Fizzarolli: I am the one and only Fizzarolli! Some of you may recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big man himself and uh, *rolls up a sleeve, revealing a cybernetic arm* ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight: Verosika Mayday and her younger sister, Maggie Mayday, Wet Dream and The Squirterz!
Verosika appears at the bar and quickly shoves aside Wally Wackford as the latter hands her a drink. Standing next to her was a younger Succubus with pale purple skin and flat black hair, wearing an outfit she doesn't like and looking like she doesn't want to be here. Verosika then poses during a paparazzi as members of the Squirterz appear beside her, while Maggie just groans and hides her face from the cameras.
Octavia: Verosika's here too? And she has a sister?
Lincoln: Figures. She's a succubus and this is the Lust ring. But her having a sister was a shock to me too. And apparently she's dating one of the other Zodiacs. *Octavia glances at him in surprise* Read up on the Zodiac Hellhounds a while back.
Fizzarolli: But, as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all: Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?
Audience laughs.
Fizzarolli: Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah Oh, wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue!
Stolas, Blitzo, Lincoln and Octavia look away.
Fizzarolli: That robo me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean. *giggles maniacally*
Random patron: Oh, I know what you mean! I have four of them!
Fizzarolli: *pulls out hidden mic* Okay, keep that guy FAR away from me. *back to the audience* So, without wasting any more time, our little opening act is a fresh one! Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring, give it up for Moxxie... with no creative stage name whatsoever.
The audience applauds, as Moxxie gets up with his guitar before kissing Millie on the cheek.
Lincoln: *wide eyed* Dad's performing?
Octavia: Oh dear... This might not end well...
Lincoln: *looks at her* What do you mean?
Octavia: Knowing the way your father loves your mother... his song might not be... "suited" for this establishment.
Lincoln: *eyes widen* … Oh fuck.
Fizzarolli moves from his spot to another, as Moxxie takes the stage.
Moxxie: Hello, everyone - *feedback from the microphone* Oh! *clears throat* Hi, thank you for letting me be here. It's an honor to play.
Wally Wackford: *off-screen, slurring* Uh, hurry up, Bullet, and, uh, SING, boy! I say, I say-
Moxxie: This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary.
Cut to Millie with a happy look on her face.
Moxxie: I love you Millie.
He starts strumming his guitar as he begins to sing his song.
Moxxie: I love you.
More than the brimstone loves the fire.
More than Beelze loves her bub
More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs
During the song, everyone looks with a confused look on their face. Millie is just touched by the song playing, and Fizzarolli looks at his companion hidden in the shadows with a smug look.
Moxxie: You make my spirit sing
Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell
Our love is a story sweet to tell
Yeah, you cast a special Satanic spell
Over my heart
The smoke machines activate, hitting Millie directly. The scene is full of pink smoke and hearts only surrounding Moxxie and Millie.
Moxxie: Love is a journey we decided to start
Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
Singing the same line over and over, this is drowned by Fizzarolli and Asmodeus saying the same thing over him. Their silhouettes are shown laughing right behind his back. They appear from the smoke.
Asmodeus: You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?
Fizzarolli: Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds!
Asmodeus: What'd you expect from a proprietor like us?
Fizzarolli: Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lu-u-u-u-u-ust!
Fizzarolli gestures to the large Asmodeus, who has two extra faces in his neon blue hair and feather-like tails.
Asmodeus: Give me a thrust!
Moxxie nervously tugs at his collar while Fizzarolli makes trumpet sounds.
Asmodeus: Show me some lust!
Fizzarolli trumpets, again.
Asmodeus: From the groin to the bust! In desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus
Fizzarolli: *vocalizing again* Trumpet! Hah!
Asmodeus: Little Imp, you came here to sing your serenade
Perform your feelings on a velvety stage
Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts
Fizzarolli stretches his arms and wraps them around Moxxie. This doesn't escape Lincoln's notice, who growls deeply while clenching his and Octavia's table tight enough to sport cracks in it.
Fizzarolli: Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts!
Fizzarolli then spins Moxxie, before slithering across Asmodeus' shoulders like a snake.
Asmodeus: You wanna hang around this lustful town?
Asmodeus puts his finger on Moxxie's head, stopping him.
Asmodeus: Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around!
Asmodeus flicks Moxxie to the microphone stand. Millie stands up in concern, while Lincoln's growls get more vicious as he's on the edge of going feral.
Asmodeus: Here we sing about wants and desires
Fizzarolli: Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire!
Octavia: *notices Lincoln's anger* What are you planning now…?
Lincoln: *his anger slowly fades as his eyes widen a bit, before he smirks a bit and looks at Octavia* You said I was a good singer, huh?
Octavia's eyes widen as she starts to blush.
Asmodeus: So, give me a thrust
Show me some lu-u-u-u-ust
From the groin to the bust, Little Imp, you just must
In the House of Asmodeus
He towers over Moxxie.
Asmodeus: Come on, sing us a so-o-o-o-ong!
Asmodeus dances on a pole while Fizzarolli throws money on him
Asmodeus: Make sure the subject is getting it on
Make it graphic and tantrically long
Fizzarolli: Be sure to rhyme "thong" and "schlong"!
Asmodeus: Go ahead, your mic's on!
Moxxie nervously continues his part of the song. He strums his guitar once more quietly.
Moxxie: I want to...
Fizzarolli: Yeah, what do you want? Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?
Moxxie: Make gentle love to you
Asmodeus and Fizzarolli are not pleased with the response he gave.
Asmodeus: Ugh!
Asmodeus stands tall, he and Fizzarolli both glaring down at Moxxie.
Asmodeus: What a limp-dick imp, you're really killing the vibe
Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride!
The audience makes fun of Moxxie, until…
Lincoln: *off-screen* HEY, YOU HORNY SACK OF SHIT!
A glass of wine suddenly slams into Asmodeus' head, shattering and making him stumble back with a growl as the audience gasps. Angered, he looks up to see Lincoln landing on the stage.
Lincoln: Screwing up my parents' night is ONE way to get on my fucking BAD SIDE!
Moxxie is surprised to find his son there.
Moxxie: Lincoln?! What are you doing here?!
Lincoln: *looks at Moxxie* Sorry Dad, but a certain jackass decided to spy on your night.
He points over his shoulder at Blitzo.
Blitzo: Hey, now. I've watched those two pork many times.
Moxxie: What?! Blitzo?!
Blitzo: And, honestly, they make missionary look-
Lincoln: *snarls at him, shutting him up* I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER, ASSHOLE.
Asmodeus: *angry* Boy, do you have any idea who you are *demonic voice* FUCKING WITH?!
Asmodeus glows to turn a vivid neon version of his natural colors, while his head turns red, showing his outrage. Lincoln, however, smirks as he takes the microphone from Moxxie, and the music takes on more of an upbeat jazz tune.
Lincoln: So you're Asmodeus, the King of Lust?
I gotta say, your show's been a bust!
He fake yawns as he gives a middle finger. Asmodeus' eyes widen in rage as he tries to kick Lincoln off the stage, but the Hellhound easily slides out of the way.
Lincoln: Big shot here traded brains for a thrust
Again, I gotta say, what a bust!
Everyone starts to laugh at Asmodeus, which makes him even angrier. Blitzo failed to hold in his roaring laughter as he repeatedly pounded a fist on his table.
Octavia: *chuckles with a blush* I forgot how smooth his voice is…
Seeing Blitzo laughing, Fizzarolli pops in.
Fizzarolli: Is that Blitz-o? So, you're showing your face?!
Hearing this makes Blitzo stop laughing.
Fizzarolli: Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace!
He shines the spotlight onto Blitzo, who flinches.
Fizzarolli: Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship
Stolas looks at Blitzo in concern, before Fizzarolli stretches over to Blitzo.
Fizzarolli: Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!
Fizzarolli gets grabbed by the leg and slammed to the ground. Lincoln pins him to the ground with his foot.
Lincoln: Oh, shut your dick sucking mouth, you stupid clown!
Just like Loo Loo Land, I'll burn your ass to the ground!
Fizzarolli: *eyes widen in anger* YOU! You're the one who-?!
Lincoln: Yeah, I'm the one who burnt your theme park like so.
Do I fucking regret it? HA! FUCK NO!
He promptly flips off Fizzarolli, who growls in anger.
Lincoln: So yeah, hit me with your lawsuits if you so desire.
I'll beat your ass and set your whole life on fire!
Bully my family again, I'll tell you it won't end well.
He picks Fizzarolli up by the neck with a growl.
Lincoln: You may find yourself in a fate worse than any Double Hell!
Fizzarolli's eyes shrink with a gulp as the laughter gets even heavier.
Verosika: Oh, Blitz-o?
Verosika appears behind the two with the spotlight on her.
Verosika: I used to date him (date him, date him!)
Blitzo: *annoyed* Oh, Verosika, you're here.
Verosika: I'd stroke and I'd fellate him (fellate him, fellate him!)
She sexually lays across a table as the paparazzi take pictures of her.
Verosika: Yeah, but then when it was my turn (my turn, my turn!)
He did no reciprocatin' (what a dick bag!)
A selfish imp in the sheets
Verosika backs Blitzo against the wall.
Verosika: And just as bad in the streets
A reckless, heartbreaking freak!
She suddenly gets grabbed by the hair and pulled away from Blitzo, falling to the floor as Lincoln stood over her.
Lincoln: Oh, shut up, slut. Spare us your sob story.
Let me tell you, you never should have crossed me!
He gestures to some people lusting over Verosika.
Lincoln: People say you're crazy in bed, always drunk and wild.
But to me, all you'll ever be is just a spoiled, whiny child!
You always fuck anyone you can just for the thrill,
He smugly recalls the events of "Spring Broken".
Lincoln: But you still couldn't fuck more than I could kill!
The crowd "Ooohs" as Verosika blushed in embarrassment. She glanced over for help from Maggie, but her sister was just blatantly ignoring her.
Lincoln: Blitzo may have his jackass moments, but hey, everyone does.
He kneels to Verosika's level.
Lincoln: So ask yourself this… do you hate him just because?
Now the crowd was full of heavy laughter as Verosika scowls heavily with a completely red face. Blitzo would have been laughing too… but Verosika and Fizz's words were still fresh in his mind.
Asmodeus: Who's that at the table, Blitzo? Is your date a demon prince?
Fizzarolli gets a closer look at Stolas.
Asmodeus: Stolas, is that you?
Wally Wackford: Are you sleepin' with an Imp?!
Asmodeus: Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall
You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all
Illusions of Octavia and Stella appear before him, until they walk away and disappear, leaving only Blitzo in front of him
Asmodeus: I hope you didn't give it up. So, you and him could get it on
A whole bottle of champagne gets thrown into his head, making him look away from Blitzo and Stolas.
Lincoln: Asmodeus, oh, how hypocritical you are!
Ain't gettin' it on the whole point of this shitty ass bar?
He gestures to the whole building.
Lincoln: And you better watch what you say bout my girl's father.
He points over his shoulder to Octavia, who has blazing pink eyes.
Lincoln: She's right over there and will give you Seven Rings of hurt!
Octavia's eyes flare pink as a raging pink aura briefly flares around her. Lincoln flips up onto one of the lowered platforms, putting him at Asmodeus' height.
Lincoln: Asmodeus, I gotta say again, and I'll say it, how.
You seriously suck at putting on this excuse of a "show"
Trading working brains for a simple thrust
You're an embarrassment and a bust!
He pokes a finger into Asmodeus' face.
Lincoln: So shut the fuck up before I leave your ass in the dust
And completely decimate the House of Asmodeus!
He drops the mic as the crowd cheers loudly for him. The microphone lands in Moxxie's hand.
Lincoln: *looks down* Dad, I believe you were trying to sing something for Mom?
Moxxie: Yeah, I was.
Moxxie strums his guitar once more while holding up the microphone to his mouth with his tail.
Moxxie: I love us
I love us just the way we are
Asmodeus tends to a humiliated Fizzarolli.
Moxxie: Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't
A backstage Imp's looks at this and pulls one of the levers, lifting Moxxie and Millie up to Lincoln's level.
Moxxie: I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes
I'll never take you for granted
I'll always give you my best
And if you can offer the same thing
We'll handle the rest
'Cause I love you
Asmodeus and Fizzarolli share a cuddle, while Verosika drinks a cup of wine, still humiliated by Lincoln.
Moxxie: 'Cause I love you
Moxxie and Millie lean in for a passionate kiss. The audience applauds as Lincoln smiles.
Lincoln: *thinking* Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
Stolas looks at Blitzo who seems humiliated. He reaches his hand towards his to comfort him, but Blitzo pulls his hand away from Stolas.
Blitzo: You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let's just - let's just leave.
Stolas: Oh. Right. Of course.
Blitzo and Stolas leave the building. Moxxie and Millie are still sharing a kiss, while Fizzarolli, with an unimpressed face, and Asmodeus watch in on them.
Asmodeus: Aww... ain't that just such a happy display? It sickens me! *demonic voice* GET THE FUCK OUT!
Lincoln: *glares at Asmodeus, getting in front of his parents* You wanna say that shit again?!
Asmodeus: *glares at Lincoln* Yes, I do! *pokes his finger to Lincoln's chest* You take your "parents" and GET THE FUCK OUT!
Lincoln: *slaps Asmodeus' finger away* You want us kicked out... *crosses his arms and glares at Asmodeus with an echoing snarl* ... you're gonna have to do it by FORCE!
Asmodeus is about to enter his more monstrous form, which makes Fizzarolli nervous, but then Asmodeus' eyes widen a bit as he stares at Lincoln. As he stares, Lincoln's appearance briefly changes into that of his birth father, Lance Marshall, wearing the EXACT same rageful expression. As Lance changes back to Lincoln, Asmodeus was left in disbelief.
Asmodeus: *eyes on all three of his faces are wide* ... You... you're his son... *Lincoln's anger turns to confusion for a bit* You're Lance Marshall's son, aren't you...?
Hearing that name causes a lot of people in the club to murmur and gasp in surprise, whispering to each other about Lance.
Imp 1: Did he say Lance Marshall?!
Imp 2: That guy's drinks were amazing!
Succubus 1: Ohhh, that guy was so hot!
Succubus 2: I wanted him to take me to bed SOOOOO badly!
Lincoln was confused, until he remembered Death said his father used to work here before he had met his mother.
Lincoln: … Yeah, Lance Marshall is my biological father…
Fizzarolli: *eyes widen* Wait… *looks up at Asmodeus* … he's the son of your best bartender?!
Wally Wackford: *off-screen* Fuck you, I say, I say!
Asmodeus: *calms down and looks at Lincoln, before bowing his head to him* Young man, I am so sorry.
The whole club was shocked to see one of the Sins bowing to someone beneath him, but none were more surprised than Lincoln.
Lincoln: *stunned* Uh… what…?
Asmodeus: I am so sorry for interrupting your parents' anniversary. *looks up* It's just… when you're in the Lust Ring, you gotta keep that Lust vibe going. It ain't wrong to love someone the way *points at Moxxie and Millie* these two do. But in the Lust Ring, and especially here in Ozzie's, it's all about Lust. *looks at Moxxie* Little man, I'm sorry for the confusion, and if I came on too strong about the song you were singing.
Fizzarolli: *peeks up from Asmodeus' shoulder* For what it's worth, your song was pretty good. Didn't fit with the vibe, but still good.
Moxxie: Oh, um… thanks…
Verosika: *annoyed* So you're seriously just gonna let these guys stay after the shit he *points to Lincoln* said to you?! To me?! What the fuck are you-?!
Maggie: *cuts her off* Just shut your dick-sucking mouth, sis. Jeez, I'm tempted to find a cock for you to suck just so you can shut up.
Verosika goes quiet as Maggie walks off. The younger Mayday sister stops and looks up at Lincoln.
Maggie: Nice singing, kid. *walks off*
Lincoln: *stares at Maggie in surprise for a second, then looks at Asmodeus* So… you're not gonna kick my parents out?
Asmodeus: Not at all. Hell, since I caused you so much trouble, I'll even comp your meals. Enjoy your evening, and Happy Anniversary!
With that, Asmodeus teleports away with Fizzarolli.
Moxxie: *he and Millie face their son* Thank you for this, Lincoln.
Millie: Yeah, but you didn't have to do all this.
Lincoln: And let two of the most important people of my life have their anniversary ruined? *hops onto their platform* I'd sooner sleep with Verosika.
Verosika hears this and scowls at him, to which he flips her off without even looking at her.
Lincoln: *kneels to his parents* You two have done so much for me these past few years, and I would've never forgiven myself if I let anyone ruin your night, whether it's Blitzo, Asmodeus, or anyone else. *smiling* I love you both so much, Mom and Dad. And I always will.
Moxxie and Millie smile with tears in their eyes as they hug their Hellhound son.
Millie: What did we do to deserve a son like you, Lincoln…?
Lincoln: *smiling* Simple: you took me in.
Lincoln hugs them both as the crowd "Awwws". Octavia smiles at the sight. After a few moments, the family hug splits as the platform they're on lowers back down to the stage.
Lincoln: *as they climb down* Well, Via and I better get going. Let you two enjoy your anniversary. Besides, Tex invited us to a party in the Gluttony Ring.
Octavia: *looks surprised* Wait, when was this?
Lincoln: While we were getting ready to come here, I got a text from Tex about the party. I told him we'd come by when we could. The party's gonna be going on for a LONG time, so we don't need to worry about showing up late. Besides, better to be at the party then in the house while you two *points at his parents* "celebrate", because I do NOT need to be hearing THAT from the other room.
Moxxie and Millie look embarrassed as the crowd "Oooooooohs".
Moxxie and Millie: Fair enough…/Good point…
Maggie: *walks up* Hey, is there any way I can hitch a ride with you two? My gal Luan invited me to the same party and she took the car while I got stuck with my dumbass sister.
Lincoln: Yeah sure.
Maggie: Thanks.
Cut to the outside of Stolas's castle, Blitzo drives Stolas back to his place, who bumps his head getting out of the van.
Stolas: *leans into the window of the van* Thank you, for…inviting me out tonight. Despite everything that's happened, I…I enjoyed spending time with you.
Blitzo: *irritated* Yeah.
Stolas: You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia's out with Lincoln. So, we could–
Blitzo: I'm not fucking you tonight, okay? I'm really just - *sighs* I'm really not in the mood, Stolas…
Stolas: We could talk, or... watch a movie, or... maybe cuddle?
Blitzo: Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. *voice breaking* But, I just, I-I can't do it tonight, okay?
Both Stolas and Blitzo look at each other with sad looks on their faces.
Blitzo: I'm sorry.
Stolas: Okay. *sighs and pulls back from the window* Goodnight, Blitzo.
Blitzo: Night.
Blitzo drives away from the mansion's driveway, leaving Stolas all by himself, shedding a tear, and sitting in front of his staircase, feeling some form of regret.
Cut to Blitzo, sighing and walking into his apartment. His shadow is seen past a wall of various photos of his coworkers. Blitz is scribbled out in all of the photos he is in. He attempts to knock on Loona's door, despite the warning signs, and finds a note taped on the door that says, "Tex invited me to a party, B back late, Don't wait up!" Blitzo, disappointed again, slumps onto his couch, pulls out his phone, and looks at various photos of himself. He comes across a picture of him and Stolas cuddling, swipes to a picture of him drinking bubble tea with Moxxie, Millie, and Lincoln, then swipes to a photo of him with Moxxie joining I.M.P., swiping to a photo to when he first adopted Loona, then swipes to a photo with him and Verosika. Eventually, he swipes to photos of his younger self with a younger Fizzarolli (whose skin color and head tattoo is similar to that of Blitzo's. And finally, Blitzo stops scrolling when he gets to a photo with him and his sister and mother. This causes him to curl up and cry into a pillow.
A/N: Lincoln's lyrics in "House of Asmodeus" are all original