Flug got pants on and changed his shirt before he opened the door. Black Hat was pretty early, actually. It was still morning. Flugs exam wasn't until the early afternoon. Did he have one soon?

"Morning," Jeez, his voice was almost as raspy as Black Hat's. All that screaming and crying probably wasn't good for him. It didn't exactly hurt, but he should probably take it easy on his throat.

"So, you got your voice back. Kind of. Good." Black Hat said. "Have you eaten anything?"

"...No." Had he even had lunch yesterday? What was the last thing he ate? He wasn't sure.

Black Hat sighed. "Come on, let's get you some breakfast." He held out his hand, which Flug took easily enough. He had more important things to think about at the moment. Which Black Hat was probably thinking about as well.

Who did this and how do I get them?

At least back in the Air Force, he'd known his target. And had the chance to follow him around and learn where he'd be at any given time. It was more a matter of waiting for an opportunity, just seeing if something presented itself so he could potentially claim innocence. And when one did, he was quick to act. Didn't turn out...exactly as he planned, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Where were they going, anyway? Black Hat was driving in the direction of campus.

Oh.

"Cafe?" He croaked, keeping his voice low and his words short.

"Yes. Would you rather somewhere different?"

"It's fine," Yeah, fine. Fine. Perfectly fine. Didn't matter. He'd get a sandwich or whatever to eat. And coffee. He wasn't really hungry, but he'd eat. He needed to eat. Was kind of a necessity.

Black Hat parked across the street and they walked in silently. It was a bit busy for the morning, probably due to it being finals week. The change in atmosphere was extremely noticeable. The entire place seemed...off. What had once been a pleasant sort of place, despite the name, was now an uneasy cheerless hole with christmas decorations that did not fit the mood of the patrons or staff. The usual barista and waitstaff all averted their eyes as soon as they noticed them. With the exception of one.

Demetra rushed over before they could take more than a few steps in. "Oh jeez, are you okay?" She grabbed Flug harshly by the face and twisted him around, examining him. "You look terrible. Did you sleep at all last night?"

He stared at her for a second before remembering that she wasn't aware he had no soul. "No."

She winced. "Wow, you sound like shit. You want double espresso? No wait, would tea be better? We got herbal tea. Might help a little. You had breakfast yet? Want a muffin? Or maybe some cake? We got carrot cake, cheesecake, even red velvet. You know, cuz it looks pretty festive and it's really super sweet. You want me to get ya a slice of red-"

Black Hat rather rudely shoved her. "You need to back off."

"Ugh! What's with you?! I'm just-"

Their potential altercation was broken up by Flug shambling in between them and mumbling "'Spresso. Cake." as he found an empty booth and sat down. It was almost impressive how quick they were to put whatever that had been about aside.

"Ok, espresso and cake. Black coffee?"

"Yes," Black Hat joined Flug in the booth. "Thank you."

Neither of them spoke for a minute or two. They both just sat there silently. Flug had his eyes trained on the table, slumped low in his seat and hanging his head like he was awaiting his execution. He guessed that Black Hat didn't really know what to say either. He certainly had nothing to say. What even was there to say? Were they going to plan their little revenge scheme right now? They were missing a pretty crucial part of a revenge plan; the target. The only thing Flug could think of to talk about was what they'd do once they had whoever it had been. Not that he could bring himself to get that conversation started. Black Hat said he'd rip them apart, and as appealing as that sounded, Flug wanted to do something of his own. Maybe he'd be able to get a few minutes in and Black Hat could finished them off. If he didn't kill them himself.

"When was the last time you ate?" Black Hat asked out of nowhere. Flug just shrugged. He heard Black Hat sigh. "Hungry at all?" Flug shook his head quietly. "Will you eat anyway?" He nodded a bit. "Good. Though I can't imagine cake is going to fill you up. Really, cake for breakfast? What is she thinking?"

Flug imagined that she was thinking something sweet like cake would cheer him up a bit. He didn't have the energy to say that much, so he shrugged again and muttered, "Sweet."

Another heavy silence overcame them until Demetra came with their drinks and his cake. She brought the red velvet, which Flug might've appreciated if he had it in him to care at all. Or if he had something resembling an appetite. Black Hat said thanks, so Flug didn't feel any particular need to vocalize. He sipped his coffee, his tongue registering the heat and the taste of it, but not really feeling the burn or any of the usual familiar feelings of comfort he got from coffee. Not even licking the whipped cream off his lips got him to perk up at all.

He picked at his slice of cake, only taking small bites of it like a bird. He could taste the sweetness, but it did nothing for him. He liked sweet things, didn't he? Didn't he? That was why he took his coffee with cream and sugar and caramel and whipped cream and anything else he could have on it to give him that sugar rush that got him through his days. Cinnamon. Nutmeg. Vanilla. Chocolate. He heard somewhere that red velvet cake was just chocolate cake with red food coloring. And cream cheese.

What was that other thing they called it? Devil's Food cake? Laughable.

"So, I guess Dem was right to bring cake? I'll have to remember that one."

"Huh?" Flug peeked up from his spot hunched over the table.

"You smiled."

Flug blinked. And felt around his cheeks like his smile might still be there. He'd been smiling? Why had he been smiling? He wasn't happy. He'd just been lost in thought. Thinking. About cake. He resumed half-heartedly picking at his breakfast dessert. No, no this did not make him happy. He couldn't be happy right now. He'd been living in fear of this situation for years, terrified of someone finding out the truth about him. And now they had. He was miserable. Not even cake was getting a smile out of him.

Black Hat spoke up. "Ok, I know you're upset, as you should be, but this really isn't as bad as you're making it out to be."

Flug picked his head up. "What did you just say?"

"It's not that big a deal. Things could be worse."

Hat-Man I know you did not just say that.

"Ar-Are you serious right now?" Flug asked. "No really, are you? Are you fucking kidding me? After all this time of me telling you how I didn't want anyone else to know, you're giving me 'it could be worse'? Seriously!? I thought, with all the stalking you've done of me, which I haven't forgotten about by the way, you might've been able to figure it out, but if I really have to spell it out for you, fine. When I said I didn't want anyone to know, I meant that I didn't want anyone to know. I have literally never been able to feel comfortable about myself. I'm never just okay being who I am. I tell myself I am, I'm not. Not without a guarantee that no one else knows. I have never had the security of being able to be who I am without being terrified of what someone else will think about it. I don't even have that with my own family. I have had to hide nearly everything about who I really am to my parents. The people absolutely closest to me are people I can't trust. Because it's unthinkable to me that they would still be the same kind, loving, supportive people they have always been if they knew this one little thing. And if that's how I feel about the people who raised me, don't even get me started on all the horrible things I can think of now that everyone at school knows. Matter of fact, everyone in this cafe probably knows." Flug glanced at the table next to them and saw three people sitting quietly, unusually fixated on their cups. "Don't even bother hiding it motherfuckers we all know damn well what you're doing." They all got embarrassed and turned away. Flug turned back to Black Hat and lowered his voice. His strained, scratchy voice. "So, why don't you tell me exactly how this could be worse, because I'm living out one of my recurring nightmares here papi chulo. I'd love to hear how this isn't so bad."

"...It's illegal in my country." Black Hat said, a bit softly.

"What is?" Black Hat calmly sipped his coffee, his visible eye downcast. Huh, this was the first time today Flug had really gotten a good look at Black Hat. It was hard to tell against his already dark skin, but he seemed to have bags under his eyes. Had he slept at all? He wasn't sitting with the usual poise and posture Flug associated with the top-hatted man. He looked tired. What was he talking about being illegal in his country?

Oh wait, oh did he mean...?

Oh...oh damn...

"The penalty can be...severe..." Black Hat continued in a voice just above a whisper. He slowly raised his gaze back up at him. "And very public."

Flug almost didn't want him to elaborate. "Um, wow. I..." He was rendered almost speechless. He was starting to feel the pain in his vocal chords. "I don't know what to say to that." Was an apology in order? He felt like maybe he should apologize for being such a baby about this.

"You don't need to say anything. And I'm not saying that because it could be worse doesn't mean it's not still bad. It is. I'm only saying that you should count yourself lucky that the opinions of others are the only thing you have to worry about."

Well, ok. Flug got it. Things could be worse. They could be a lot worse. That thought had never helped him in the past. It had always felt like he was tempting fate. Like in the movies, like as soon as he said "It could be worse", it would get worse. Completely illogical, but terrifying nonetheless. How could things get worse in this situation? Well...he supposed his parents could find out. The thought making his throat seize up like he was being strangled. Although he couldn't think of any way they possibly could. The only one who could tell them was him, and he had no plans to. He couldn't imagine it in a million years. There was little chance of it happening, but there was still that haunting thought that it could happen. That was it. That was his worst-case scenario. That was the only thing that could really end up happening. It might be the worst thing for him, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. And neither was this, if he could still think of more horrible things.

This was still a terrible situation. And it could be worse. But, realistically, it could only get so bad. Past a point there wasn't any feasibly danger. And absolutely no chance that it could get to the near-nightmarish level of what Black Hat's words entailed. That didn't exactly make things any better, but he supposed it was some comfort to know that even his biggest fears weren't the worst possible thing that could happen.

And now he felt like kind of a whiny brat.

He took a slightly bigger bite of his cake. And gulped down more of his coffee. After only maybe another minute, he'd cleaned his plate entirely and nearly emptied his cup. He actually felt hungry for the first time today.

"I think I should probably eat something more filling than cake."

"Oh really? You think?" Black Hat asked sarcastically.

"Have you had anything for breakfast?"

"We aren't talking about me right now."

"You should probably eat something too."

"You're sounding better."

"Thanks." He was, actually. His voice wasn't coming out as hoarse. That was a pretty lame attempt at changing the subject though. "Now, what should we get to eat?"

Black Hat was about to respond, when an alarm sounded from his phone. It sounded like one of those old sirens in the movies when there's a bomb threat or something. He pulled his phone out and hurried to his feet, throwing a few bucks on the table. "This should cover things, get yourself some actual food please, you'll be fine for a few hours right? Bye." He rushed out of the cafe. Maybe his next exam was soon.

Flug sighed. Ah, well, it would only be two hours at most. Maybe two and a half. Then it would be time for his own exam. Just one today. Tomorrow was free. Thursday would bring along two more exams and then he'd be done with the semester. He often took one or two classes during winter and summer, but he thought he might take a break like most other people this year. Save some money. Not be the closeted overachiever he was.

He laughed to himself. Well, he'd been ripped out of one closet already. Where was the harm in coming out on his own terms?

"Hey, where did Black Hat go?"

Flug glanced upwards at Demetra. "He had an exam, left some money for his coffee though."

"Ah, ok. You sound better. We're actually getting complete sentences outta ya! Did the cake help?"

"Maybe a little." He smiled a bit at her. "Think I should have something more than just cake for breakfast though."

She counted the bills Black Hat had left. "Should be enough here to cover what you got and then some. You want me to bring ya a sandwich or somethin'?"

"How about one of those muffins you were telling me about earlier?"

"You got it! And, um, hey," She placed a hand on his shoulder thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, ok?"

"Sorry? What for?"

Demetra got a bit of a pained look on her face. "Just, just in case."

"Just in case of what?"

She leaned down over the table. "Listen, I swear I haven't told anyone else this week. I even told Marietta and Esme to shut up about it in case they were telling people. But, but just in case I let it slip before now, and someone told someone who told everyone else and that's how this all happened..." She bit her lip. "You know I didn't mean to, right? I never meant for anything like this to happen. And I really didn't think you'd start screaming and up and pass out like that. You scared a whole lotta people the other day, you know. So, just in case, I'm sorry...Rocinante."

The gears in Flug's head were turning. She'd known ever since this had all started. She'd framed them as a couple from the first time she saw them. And had been gossiping about it with everyone possible for just as long. She could have caused this. Slowly, spreading it around over time. Unknowingly. Unwittingly. Accidentally.

Flug's improved mood was gone. Even the usage of his first name wasn't enough to ward off the cold calculations that enveloped his mind.

"Get me my muffin, please." He said, as threateningly as one can when demanding a fluffy bread product. He wasn't sure what sort of expression he wore, but it made Demetra cringe and leave to get him his food without further words. Not that he was hungry anymore. His soured mood had stolen his appetite yet again. He would eat, he would need sustenance to keep himself going. And he had no plans to return to the cafe after this. Not in the foreseeable future. He was going to have to find somewhere else to get his caffeine fix. Cafeteria? Unappealing. Sub par food and drink, too many people, loud. Maybe he could use his time to look for another coffee shop in the area. There had to be one reasonably close by, right?

Demetra came back quickly with a blueberry muffin. Not his favorite but it would do. She had another coffee for him, "On the house," she uttered. He paid her no attention as she trudged away. She really seemed to feel genuine remorse for what she'd done. If she'd done it. It was a possibility, but it would be difficult to confirm. Flug wanted confirmation before he actually did anything. He didn't want to go and take all his spite out only to discover he'd went and killed the wrong person. To think, all that time and effort he'd put in just to have the little bit of closure ripped away when it was revealed he'd killed someone who didn't have anything to do with his pain. How wasteful.

He sipped his coffee slowly, staring off into space and mulling it over. If this was indeed Demetra's doing, maybe he wouldn't kill her. She hadn't been intending this, and felt guilt at just the chance that it might've been her. But then, if he wasn't going to kill her, what would he do? He wouldn't be able to say anything to her, he'd need to maintain anonymity, so from her perspective it would be a random unwarranted maiming. Which would be pretty pointless. What was the point in punishing her if she didn't know what she was being punished for? How would she ever learn, which she would need to do if she was going to live. And how would he hide his identity, anyway? A cheap halloween mask? Face paint? What, was he just going to stick a paper bag on his head and call it a day? Yeah right. He supposed he could blindfold her, but he didn't really like that idea either.

He hoped it wasn't her. Honestly. He couldn't hate her too much for what was an honest mistake. One she apologized for. It complicated things, too. People knew they were somewhat close. And it was still entirely possible that she'd had nothing to do with it. It was only a theory. He needed more information.

Well, he had some time to himself. Time to go hunting, in a manner of speaking.

I'm done. Are you still at the cafe?

No, I went and headed off to my exam. Only have about a half hour until it starts.

Ok. Text me once you're done.

Shouldn't he also have to ask what class and where, since the implication would be that Black Hat would come get him? Now that he was thinking about it, Black Hat hadn't needed directions to escort Flug to his last exam yesterday. He didn't even ask, he just went. Kind of like the first time driving him home.

Exactly how often had this man stalked him?

Although once that was taken in with how he'd already know Flug's address and underwear choices and the details of his last relationship (Flug was very obviously NOT thinking about the murder), his class schedule was really the most innocuous thing Black Hat knew about him. And, since Flug had actively stalked a guy himself (for years, but let's not dwell on the past), he supposed he wasn't one to talk. Especially since he'd had to really restrain himself not to fall into old habits when he first saw his former stalkee again. Who still never really took notice of him, until recently. Even with his new scars. Well, he'd been even more self-conscious and squirrly back then. Back when they were only a year or so old. Nearly fresh. He'd hung his head down and hunched his shoulders up to hide them from passersby, always so scared of what other people would think. But this was different from high school. People didn't care enough to pick on the loner with their head down scurrying to their next class. It still took time for him to be able to just walk around normally, but that was more from his end than the world's. What was this, his second year? Time sure flies when you make it a point to ignore the guy you spent years following. Until you can't.

But it better not have been fucking years that Black Hat had been following him. Months, fine. This guy was a self-proclaimed evil villain with a body count and connections. He could accept it being months that he'd watched Flug before approaching him in person. Years? No. No no no no no. That's some "going to tie you to a chair in the basement and hand feed you mystery meat" shit right there and Flug was not having it. Even though Black Hat didn't actually have a basement. At the moment. Oh God he didn't want to think about this anymore.

But since his search had come up empty, he didn't really have much else to think about. Every person that he'd worked up the nerve to confront had heard it from a friend who'd heard it from a classmate who heard it from some other people who'd been eavesdropping on other people who heard about it on messenger and this was like a giant game of telephone where the message was miraculously kept pretty well intact. Very little of it was done online, except maybe through private messages which were only more dead ends, so there wasn't much of a trail to follow back. Damn word-of-mouth spreading of information, get with the times! The easily tracked and monitored times!

It didn't help that he was (they were) some of the few LGBT+ people at this University who were actually quote unquote "out" and "publicly" in a relationship. Making this all the more fascinating to everyone. Flug had kind of gone straight to the depression stage of grieving the loss of his privacy and security, but he was about read to circle back and hit rage. He knew people were eyeing him in the classroom, he just refused to acknowledge it and stayed on his phone ignoring the world until the exam started and everyone was required to keep their gaze on their paper or risk it being taken and ripped in two. Thank God for hardass physics professors and thank Him again for exams composed of nothing but math. Numbers were so much easier than words. There was always a clear solution with mathematics and calculations. You were either wrong or right, no inbetween. Nothing getting lost in his piss poor wording. It still took him some time to really get into his zone, but he was at least not the last one to finish this time around. He wasn't his usual first, but he could live with it. He caught a few miscalculations going over his work, and that made it worth it.

What was not worth it was people taking this as their opportunity to try and talk to him. No matter how much he just blew them off. This was exactly why he never told anyone, he hated getting attention like this. It had nothing to do with him, just what he was, and what it meant in people's minds. And in most people's minds, it apparently meant it was okay to demand information about his personal business.

Take, for example, what this man (Roberto? Rigoberto? Bob?) and what he had to say once the exam was over and Flug was innocently texting Black Hat on his way out.

"Hey, you're that gay guy, right? The one dating the dude in the top hat?"

"Nope," He hoped that'd be enough to get this guy off his back, but, as he just said, nope.

"Nah, that's you. Definitely." What, was someone giving out his description? Snapping pictures without him noticing? He was already dating his stalker (and boss), he didn't need this bullshit. "Didn't peg you as a marica, honestly. You don't look like one."

And what does one look like, for future reference? Was he expecting platform heels and star shades? And why was this guy following him around? Was it really so hard to take the hint that he could stick his unwanted comments-

"Whoa now, hold on there." He said as he blocked the hallway. "You're not getting off that easily." No, he never did, did he? It was always something. He wasn't allowed to just live his life in peace.

"What exactly do you want?"

"No need to get all defensive, hombre. I just want to talk a little."

"Well I don't, so move."

"Nah, nah, c'mon, get real. I just want to talk, no biggie. Matter of fact, you should be happy that you're getting so much attention! Everyone's practically fawning over you two, dying to hear every little thing! No one's saying anything bad about you, if that's what you're worried about." You just called me a homophobic slur. You literally just contradicted yourself. "Except maybe you're boyfriend, he's kind of a dick. How'd you two even hook up, like, how did that happen?"

This isn't how you show your support for samesex couples, guys. This only further fetishizes them, adding to the problem. No one wants to be spoken about like they're the latest celebrity gossip. Know why? Because almost none of it is actually positive. It's all opinionated trash, like the rag it comes from. Full of everyone's views, as if they have a right to tell other people what their relationship should or shouldn't be. It's not "helping" if you act like there's something unique about it because it's two men. You want to help destigmatize gay relationships? You want to let us know you're cool? Be cool. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't go spreading the word to strangers, and most of all, mind your damn business.

And if it wasn't for the dark figure approaching the guy from behind, Flug might've told him just that. Along with a pretty colorful string of insults.

Instead, he kept his face blank and answered simply, "I guess you could say he kind of snuck up on me."

The look on that man's face, confusion turning to alarm as Black Hat grabbed his head and rammed it against the wall, was absolutely priceless. Black Hat just kept doing it, too. Over and over until it started leaving a red mark on the wall. Then he let him drop. Not dead, probably concussed, maybe unconscious. Maybe not. Flug didn't really care. He wasn't smiling, or frowning. He didn't really feel anything about the display of violence. He was rather glad to have that nuisance out of the way, he could say that much. His face felt as expressionless as a dolls and he faced Black Hat, who was giving off that same dangerous explosive vibe he first noticed back in the cafe at one of their first meetings. It felt only barely subdued, like Black Hat had wanted to do so much more but was keeping himself in check because of how many witnesses there were. Flug supposed he should probably be scared, like the crowd of observers, and maybe on some level he was. But it seemed unlikely that Black Hat would turn any of that anger onto him. So then, why be afraid?

Black Hat stepped over the guy and offered his arm. His voice was steady, as if that hadn't even taken any great effort on his part. "Shall we?"

"Let's." Flug took it. Like he said, little point in being private now.

The two of them made their way calmly out the building and off campus. They got a few stares, far more people were outright looking away and intentionally avoiding eye contact. Black Hat didn't even have to glare at people, they were learning to give them their space on sight. It was as if they were afraid of him. Of them. It was a new feeling, an interesting one. One Flug might like to explore further.

If his incessant fears would stop creeping on and ruining it for him. Whispers of how everything was changing now. He wouldn't be able to just go about his day like he usually would. People would know about him, know of him, which he never wanted. It was so hard to get away with things when everyone knows who you are and associates you with bad things.

...Why was that the thought that came to him?

He shrank in on himself, as if being smaller than Black Hat would somehow make him invisible. Fat chance, a slender nerd and a fancy man together having a gay old time was not exactly what came to mind when he thought of being inconspicuous. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable about that, the two of them walking arm-in-arm so nonchalantly. Out in full view of the world.

...at least he wasn't alone...

Black Hat tried pulling them in the direction of cafe. Flug pulled him back. "No, let's not."

"Not even just to get a quick coffee?" Oh he was really trying to tempt him here wasn't he?

"No, I'd rather just go home. I have a coffee maker. And I'll make a quick sandwich or something." They got in the car. Flug suspected that was Black Hat's way of making sure he ate. Not that the man himself had eaten anything. If it was that important to him, hell, he could come up and supervise. Not like he hadn't made himself at home before. "I can make you one too, if you want. You haven't eaten either, have you?"

"I'll be fine." Flug felt that was a bit hypocritical of him to say. "I've actually got some meat on my bones."

"I've gone longer without eating."

"That's not good for you."

"Commiting to a life of crime probably isn't either, but I've done that too."

"Flug, that's not-"

"If you're going to tell me it's not the same, I know that. I know this isn't the end of the world either. You were right about that. You were also right when you said this was still bad, and it doesn't stop being bad just because it's not the w-w-worst thing ever." He saw a very sad face in the rearview mirror. "I just wish I could actually do something."

"You will." Black Hat squeezed his shoulder. Flug turned solemnly to meet his stone cold gaze. "We're going to find the figlio di puttana who did this and you will have your vengeance."

Flug wondered if he should tell him about Demetra. He considered it, but he wasn't sure he could trust Black Hat to keep himself from doing God-knows-what to her based off a hunch. Hey, he might have some suspicions himself, given how he shoved her away this morning. Or maybe that was just how he treated everyone aside from Flug, it wasn't as though they often hung around other people. Just Demetra. Who may or may not have brought one of Flug's worst fears to life.

He wasn't going to tell him. Not until he had more conclusive evidence. He didn't want to spill blood if he didn't have to.

Black Hat pulled up in front of Flug's apartment building, as he had done so many times now. Flug looked up to the newspaper covered windows that he knew belonged to him. Black Hat had been right, it was a bit obvious that he was hiding something. He imagined going back into that dark space, curling up alone for the next day and a half because he just didn't know what else to do with himself. He had no direction, no sense of where to go from here. He could try and distract himself but he'd always be forced back to a reality he didn't want to confront.

Not on his own.

He kept his eyes trained on his lap as he spoke. "W-Would you like to, uh," He cleared his throat. "Would you like to come up for a m-m-minute?" Oh God he felt like he was shaking. He wasn't going to break down and cry again, was he? He had hoped he'd gotten it all out yesterday.

"Sure, ok." Black Hat and Flug got out of the car silently, neither one speaking until they were both upstairs and behind the closed front door. Turning on the lights only slightly brightened up the closed off living space, it still felt so dark and dreary in here. Maybe it was time for some brighter bulbs.

"Anything to dr-drink?" Flug offered, nervous though he wasn't exactly sure why this time. "I can still make you that sandwich."

"Just a soda," Black Hat didn't sit down or anything, he walked over to the living room windows, seeming to inspect them or something. Flug hoped he wouldn't start taking the newspaper down, he stilled needed his precious wall to keep the outside world from knowing about his dirty pleasures.

Flug got a soda can out of the fridge, Black Hat probably already knew he only had one type of generic soda, and tried to think of something to talk about while he made that sandwich. Nothing special, just ham and cheese, very light on the mayo. As he munched away, he wondered why he'd put himself in this position. Why exactly had he invited Black Hat up here? He knew that was what he'd been doing, and he was sure Black Hat knew as well. It was as obvious of an invitation as could be. The man accepted. He was here. They were both here. Why? Flug couldn't think of anything to say, and Black Hat was just kind of awkwardly standing around and taking small sips out of his soda can. Flug hung out in the doorway to the kitchen, facing the living room where Black Hat was. Both of them were just oddly looking around and seemingly avoiding looking at each other, no one saying anything, probably hoping the other would first so that they could have something to go off of. Somewhere to go with things. Flug finished his sandwich, so he supposed he could actually talk to Black Hat now, but what on earth about? God this was too quiet. Someone please say something, anything at this point.

Black Hat was the one to finally shatter the uneasy silence.

"Would you like to go to the movies?"

"Go to the movies?"

"Yeah. There's a movie theater only about 20 minutes away from here. I don't know what's playing right now but we can go see if anything catches our interest. Maybe get something to eat after."

Black Hat was...asking him to the movies? And...and then dinner after?

"I-I-I-Is, is this another date?" Flug asked hesitantly.

Black Hat frowned deeply. "If you're that much against it, it doesn't have to be a date. It can just be the two of us watching a movie together and maybe getting a reasonably priced chain-restaurant dinner. No fucking pressure, Flug."

"N-No, I-I-I didn't mean it like that!" Flug said. "I just-I wanted to be clear that w-w-was what it was! I didn't wa-want to just as-s-s-sume that it wa-was or wasn't a d-da-d-date!" Flug wrung his hands nervously and spoke in a soft voice. "I-I just don't want to m-m-misinterpret things."

"Misinterpret, eh?" Black Hat finished off his soda and approached him, tall and dark like a looming shadow with classy fashion sense.

"Y-Y-Yes, um," Flug stuttered, looking away. "I d-don't want to, uh, g-g-get the wr-wrong idea or anything."

"And what would the wrong idea be?"

"U-Um, I, I d-don't, I-I-I-" What would he say? That he couldn't tell if Black Hat's interest actually went beyond villainous alignment and technological genius? He didn't know if his own interest in Black Hat wasn't anything more than him being horny and lonely and all too willing to submit if given the opportunity? That he didn't want to get too attached in the event things didn't end with happily-ever-after? In case they didn't work well as romantic partners and it made their future working relationship really really awkward? That he had no idea what was going on in Black Hat's head or even his own and he was walking on eggshells trying to figure out what this was going to be for either of them without giving Black Hat the wrong idea in turn? What was the wrong idea exactly? Was it that Black Hat might want to at least give "them" a chance? Was it that Flug might want that? Just to see if there was a possibility of actually being partners in that way? Was there something wrong about that? Other than the possibility of it being false for one of them? Or that it might be real? For one? For them both? Which was a more frightening thought?

Black Hat had crossed the room in the time it took Flug's mind to whirl through all the possibilities and leave his mouth struggling to pick which one to go with.

"Flug," He said, his commanding voice halting the flurry of garbled words spilling haphazardly from Flug's mouth. "I have told you that you can say 'no' to me at any time, haven't I?"

"Y-Y-Yes. You have."

"If at any point, you are uncomfortable with what I do, you can tell me to stop. Have I not made that clear?"

"N-No, you've, you've said that too."

"Then why are you still so hesitant to reject my advances?"

"Huh?" Oh God Flug was just so confused right now. What exactly was it Black Hat wanted from him? Did he want to be rejected?

"There are many things I will not allow you to refuse." He grabbed the smaller man and roughly pushed the two of them together, making Flug cry out in surprise. Flug's arms were in front of him awkwardly, apprehensively braced against Black Hat's chest. One of Black Hat's hands grabbed his, oddly gently. "This," He continued, bringing that hand up to his mouth. "Is not one of them."

Flug was even more perplexed by these feather light kisses Black Hat was leaving on his knuckles. And that strange look Black Hat was giving him beneath the brim of his hat. What did it mean? What was he talking about?

"Wh-What are you-What-?" Flug asked, fighting to get a full sentence out. Black Hat cut him off before he could manage.

"I will not allow you to leave my employ," He said, still holding Flug's hand up to his face. "I won't tolerate it if you refuse to do your job. If at any point you become a hindrance to my plans, believe me, there will be consequences." The predatory look in his eye died down as he kissed his way from the knuckles down the back of his hand to the wrist. "But that doesn't mean you have no choice but to be with me. In this way at least."

"Uh, th-thank you? For that?" Is this really a situation that required thanks? God what does one say here? Has anyone ever actually been in a situation similar to this in the entire history of humankind?

"Of course," Black Hat kissed his way up the rest of Flug's arm tenderly, his gloved hand coming up and holding his head firmly as his mouth left the appendage and raised to face him. Flug tried turning away, but he apparently wasn't allowed. "Now, I am going to kiss you, unless you stop me."

"W-Wait, Black Hat, I-I-"

Black Hat got up close and personal, what would be almost nose to nose if the man had one, scaring Flug silent. He spoke in a whisper. "Decide, my Pet. What do you want?"

Huh? What? Why was he doing this? Why was this happening? He didn't want this to happen. Or did he? He didn't have any real problems with kissing Black Hat again, in theory. But this wasn't so much kissing Black Hat as it was being kissed by Black Hat. Who was either done waiting for an answer or no longer cared what that answer might be. Was he only going to kiss him? Or would he escalate things? If Flug didn't stop him. If he didn't stop him, would he do more than just kiss him? Was he even alright with just kissing? He'd done it before, and it hadn't been bad, but did he want to again? Did he want to right now? Was it bad if he didn't? Was it worse if he did? Didn't he want someone in his life like this? Didn't he want to be close to someone? Doesn't everyone, in some way, crave to be with someone? Wasn't that why he spent his sleepless nights imagining he had someone, someone there with him? He wanted someone. Black Hat was someone. And was someone who gave him the choice to say if he didn't want it. Did he want it? He couldn't decide. But he had to. He had to because if he didn't then the choice would be made for him. And as much as he fantasized about that, about having someone else make that choice for him and taking him and having him and making him feel so good, he didn't think he could do that in real life just yet.

Or trust this man with so much.

Black Hat's lips came into contact with his, and he found himself jolt and shriek, "I don't know what I want!"

Black Hat jerked back as if Flug had slapped him, and Flug continued. "I, I don't know w-what I want or don't want right now! I-I'm just so confused! I have no idea what I'm thinking, o-or you're thinking, or anything! W-W-What do you want from me? Why are you doing this? I c-c-can't figure it out! Y-You say it's just for show, but you invite me to dinner, an-and you ki-kiss me, and I just don't understand why! Why do you do these things?! Why do you m-m-m-make me feel so-" Flug felt his throat and chest tighten and just getting air into himself became a struggle. Black Hat stopped holding his against him but didn't completely let him go. Rather, he changed it from an intimate embrace to simply holding his underling steady.

"I,I,I just..." Flug stammered, trying to get his bearings back and keep talking. "I don't unders-s-st-stand why you do stuff l-l-like that."

"Why do I do these things?" Black Hat repeated. "I do them because I want to." Flug found himself free of the man's hold, only stumbling a bit at the lost of support. "It seems like you don't." With that, Black Hat made his way towards the door.

"It-It wasn't exactly a 'no.'" Flug called out, unsure of why exactly he was telling him this. Did he want this or not?

"It wasn't exactly a 'yes,' either."

"Black Hat, I-"

"Flug, you need to stop taking this so seriously. If something happens between us, then it does. If not, then it doesn't. You aren't going to hurt my feelings if you say you don't want to date me. Or anything else you're uninterested in. I'd much rather appreciate it if you would just tell me outright. So, once you've figured it out..." The man tipped his top hat to him as he opened the door and stepped out.

"I-I want to know you better." Flug said before he could get more than halfway out. He saw him turn back slightly and stand in the doorway. "I enjoyed our d-date, and I like talking with you, and I think I'd l-l-like to keep getting to know you. B-But not right now. I think, I think there's too much going on with me right now for me to be able to get cl-cl-close to, well, anyone. S-So, if it's not too much to ask, could you wait until I can give you a def-definite answer?"

"We have a long lifetime ahead of us, Flug." Black Hat smiled a bit. "I have no problems taking things slow."

"Slow." Flug repeated, nodding his head as it rolled off his tongue. "Yeah, take it slow, please."

"You don't have any exams until Thursday, right?"

"That's right."

"Want me to be here again Thursday morning?"

"Yeah sure. I think I'd l-like that, actually."

"Then I'll see you at 10, Flug." He shut the door behind him as he strolled out into the hall.

Well, that was pretty okay. Whatever might happen, might happen. Black Hat seemed to have a more "take things as they come" attitude, which didn't sound so bad. Flug could be on board with that. If he could stop tormenting himself with endless thoughts of "what if's" and "what does it mean" and "what will people say"? He was exhausted of thinking about what other people would say, and scary hypotheticals, and endlessly analyzing his life. He didn't want to do that anymore. He wanted to live, and enjoy life, and just fucking do things. Kind of like Black Hat. He just did whatever he wanted. Did Flug find it reckless and even irrational at times? Like when he bought a lethal snake on a whim? Yes. But it was also kind of...admirable to him. The way the man did whatever he pleased, and for no reason than it pleased him to do so. He wasn't held back by fear or logic or anything. He saw something he wanted and he just made up his mind to make it his.

He didn't seem to care that he'd just assaulted a man today either. Flug found he didn't care all that much himself. He'd have beaten him up on his own...if he wasn't so weak, and so worried about consequences. Hell, Black Hat was probably just going to stroll onto campus with Flug Thursday morning as if nothing had even happened.

A sudden sound roused Flug from his flood of thoughts concerning Black Hat. A text? From Aurelio? Jesus, why was everyone trying to talk to him? Had no one in this city been taught to respect other people's boundaries?

So, how have you been this week?

Flug was about halfway through a very long response of ranting and raving about what an emotional hurricane this past week had been for him, none of it having to do with academics, when he stopped. He froze completely mid-word, his thumbs hovering over the screen. Something in his head just clicked.

Why was Aurelio just out of the blue asking how his week has been? And why his week specifically? Wouldn't it make a bit more sense to ask someone how their day has been, or maybe how their exams have been? It was like he knew that this week in particular had been something out of the ordinary. Ok, he'd probably heard the gossip about him going around to everyone and their mom and even their maiden aunts (hopefully not his, or he would have a stroke), but then why not just ask outright how he's doing? If he's handling it well, if he needs to talk, the standard things people say when being supportive? Unless...

"Oh you gorgeous son of a bitch."

Translations:

papi chulo = Google translate came up with "pimp daddy" for this one. And that's basically what it comes out to mean so I'm not changing it. (Spanish)

marica = sissy/queen (Spanish)

figlio di puttana = son of a bitch (Italian)

Notes:

Part 2 will be along shortly. In the meantime, you can follow me on tumblr fallinforaguyfelldownfromthesky. Do it soon, too. Cuz after this little 3-parter adventure in cliffhangers I'm not going to be updating this for a while. Ask box is OPEN and I've made a seperate blog for my neverending stream of reblogs, so my FanFic Blog is now much more focused. Though you'll still get a few here and there that aren't fandom related.