Chapter 1

"Why Ace? Why, yoi?" Marco questioned for the umpteenth time that night, punching Ace square on his already bruised and battered face. He didn't even let Ace answer or take a breath, before kicking him on his chest, where there were several wounds and black and blue bruises.

Ace didn't say a word, trying to catch his breath, until Marco harshly pulled Ace's hair to make him look at him in his eyes, to answer. "I didn't-" And before he could continue he was thrown harshly to the cold floor of the brig, which the Whitebeards rarely used.

Marco banged Ace's head on the floor, growling and hissing in anger. He was so blinded that he couldn't even see Ace's tears which threatened to flow or the bloody red liquid which oozed from his newly formed wound.

Marco glared at Ace vehemently, watching the teen, his former younger brother try to sit back on his own. But the chains prevented him. It pricked his body and the cold floor made Ace shiver. But Ace tried his best to not let any unholy sound come from his mouth. He tried his best to stay quiet. To control and bury his cries which threatened to erupt from his sore throat. His mind was blacking, he knew. But only one thought lingered in his mind.

'I deserve it. I should have never been born.'

Ace's mind was filled with how people in the bars used to curse Roger's spawn. He thought that this was waiting for him from all those years back. So, he didn't resist when his own brothers used him as a punching bag and never listened his words. He was back at the bar, but unlike that time, he didn't have his pipe. He didn't have any hate. He had acceptance. Acceptance with his fate. He deserved it and would do it thousands time, if it meant he could save Thatch. If it meant he could save anyone dear to him, even Marco.

Ace didn't hear when the door of his cell shut down. He didn't even notice when few minutes later he blacked out. He was traveling in his dreams or rather nightmare, where all people he loved told him he was a monster and that he never deserved to be born.

Marco sat beside his comatose brother, who was fighting for his dear life. Thatch was still not awake. He was still in coma, ever since that night. The night which changed everything. The night where they could have lost Thatch forever and where they lost one of their dearest brother, Teach. The Whitebeard Pirates had ever since felt like shit. The cheery atmosphere in the ship was all but vanished. It was eerily quiet. The quietness suffocated each and everyone of his brothers.

Marco knew that his Pops was taking the worst of it. He had been drinking sake ever since, even if everyone tried to stop him. But could anyone blame him? No. Everyone was depressed. In their shell. Pops had it hard and he knew it. He had lost a son, was about to lose another and got a traitor on deck. Marco couldn't understand why Ace would do that? What did he want? A part of him didn't understand what to do. But that night had cleared any and every doubt, which he ever had against the idea that Ace wasn't a traitor.

The night where he had to face the horror. That night he woke up with trashing noises and his Phoenix senses pushed him wide awake. Without waiting for a minute, he had ran to the deck and had been horrified by Thatch's body sprawled on a pile of his own blood. He was broken out of his inner turmoil when he heard a scream.

"Arghhh," It was Teach who was getting charred in Ace's blazing fire. "Commander Marco! Ace killed Thatc-" But before his poor brother could continue his throat was cut open by none other than Ace, who collapsed along side Teach a second later, before he could even ask a desperate 'Why?'

Marco kneeled down next to Thatch's body and tried feeling his pulses, which he got but it was fading. He yelled for someone to help but he didn't notice that there were already people on the deck, who had witnessed the murder. He didn't even notice Izou and Curiel who were applying pressure on the wound to stop it from bleeding further, with tears in their eyes.

Thatch without a second pause was lifted off to the infirmary, when Haruta came running on the deck with Whiskey, their head nurse. A moment later Teach was confirmed dead and Ace was thrown to the cold brig of the Moby Dick, by Marco himself. He was so full with rage and he couldn't understand why Ace did everything he did. He chained him down with shackles and sea stone cuffs and without a second slapped him harshly, making him wide awake. The traitor's eyes lit when he saw him.

"Marco!" He said with such excitement that it broke Marco's heart. He couldn't help the tears that flowed out of his eyes. Marco didn't even notice how the younger's eyes looked horrified and he yelled something. He didn't hear. He didn't want to. He had seen it with his own eyes and he couldn't bring himself to think otherwise.

"Why Ace? Why? Why would you do that?" Marco spoke with such rage, which he had never felt before. His two brothers were down. One gone forever and other fighting for his life. He didn't hear the startled sound that Ace made above his punches to the freckled man. He didn't show one ounce of mercy to him, while Ace kept on repeating he didn't do it. While he kept on repeating that he needed to save Thatch. But Marco wouldn't believe him. How could he? When he had himself seen the things unfolding?

Marco snapped out of his thoughts when Whiskey sternly told him to retreat to his room, to get some rest. He was a mess. Covered in eye bags and Ace's blood on his hands. He was so exhausted tired but he needed to be strong. After all, he is the right hand man of the crew. So, he left after looking at Thatch once more with longing eyes, wanting him to just get up.

He plopped on his bed, staring at the paper work, for the 1st, 2nd and 4th division. He hated it but he had to do. But his mind won't let him with how it was spiraling. So, he chose to sleep. What else could he do right now? Other than wake up daily, get little to no food, try to progress on his paper works and sit by Thatch all day after he couldn't do paper works anymore. Then being denied entry anymore and sent out to grab dinner after which asking Ace the same question thousands of time and retreating frustrated.

Ace let out a wet chuckle after he woke up. His eyes staring at the cold, grey ceiling above him. He didn't even try to feel his wounds anymore. It was useless. Checking the wounds? No, not because they will only keep growing but coz it didn't matter anymore. It was useless because he had resigned to his fate, when his eldest brother, Marco, whom he admired the most after Pops- does he get to call him that anymore?- denied to hear him and his explanations and told him how they shouldn't have ever allowed him to step foot on the deck. He had went still on those words, trying desperately to talk to him, but to no avail.

He had never imagined Marco of all people would say those words, when he was the second one to approach him after Thatch. He had let Marco beat him, beat him unconscious and allow him to give him all the pain, which he knew he deserved it.

He didn't know why and how he was still alive? Why was he still breathing? Everyone was right. He shouldn't be alive. He shouldn't have been born. His mother should have lived not him. He should have been dead. No one would ever love him. His loved ones. The people whom he trusted the most hurt him. But he deserves it. Every bit of their fury. So, he never spoke a word when the other commanders and even some other crew members came and used him as a punching bag.

'I don't deserve to live.' Ace thought when he noticed his new torturer. 'Kill me please.' Ace tried begging. But he was living, because he wanted to know if Thatch was alive. So, he always kept his ears opened. He wanted to know if Thatch made it alive. From the nick-nacks he had heard, one thing he got was, Thatch was breathing but in coma. His inner thoughts shattered and made him force to give attention on his new user, when he got a punch square to his face.

"Bastard!" The person yelled. Who was he again? He doesn't remember. But probably someone from the 4th division, coz he mentioned something about Thatch. "Stop zoning out!" Another punch to his bruised stomach and a kick to his skull. He wonders if he will get some good concussions. And with one more of the kicks, Ace was out. He feel limp on the man's hand. His day had been better than the rests. But he was enjoying the feeling of being hurt. It helped in filling the emptiness and pain which he felt in his heart. It helped him in telling himself that he was crying out of pain and not due to his damn father.

It wasn't that he was weak. He could beat his torturers, his brothers, but he wouldn't. Because he considered them his brothers, his friends. Because he wanted to be punched. Because he felt that he deserved every ounce of it. Because he wanted to be their punching bag, to take down their stress. At least he is doing one thing right, when he shouldn't have been even born. The emptiness which he felt was more than the pain. It was suffocating and the beating helped him, to not lose his fucking mind completely.

His worst nightmares were coming true. His childhood fears were catching up with himself. He was experiencing what he deserved the most. The pain. The punishment. The hatred. It was all due from his birth itself. So, he let it. It was already a month and there was no new news about Thatch. Come to think of it, Luffy had already set sail a month ago. How he must be? He wants to see him. But will he accept his monster of a brother? Will he still look up to him? Who is he kidding, Luffy won't ever stop admiring him. But does he deserve it? Probably not. He deserves to be burned and pricked with as many needles as possible, for the people who have suffered due to his father. For his father's sin.

"Why Ace, yoi?" Ace blinked his eyes. Who is talking to him? Ace looked at his blonde brother and wanted to smile. But his mouth hurt. He can't tell why but could taste blood always in it. He had been fed small amounts, barely to keep him alive, by the crew and in some lucky days, Deuce and Haruta would sneak him some food. He doesn't know why though the crew wants him alive. Should he try to escape after Thatch is alright? He should probably. He has a promise to keep to Luffy. He can't leave him alone. He can't see his baby brother cry. He can't break the only promise which he had swore to keep. He can't let his baby brother crumble. His death would break him, that is one thing Ace is sure. Even if he wants to kill himself so much. Even if he wishes to die. But he can't give up. For the sake of Luffy, his idiot, adorable, innocent baby brother, he has to stay alive.

Ace didn't register when he was thrown across the room and banged on the floor. His body screamed in pain, but he didn't let out a whimper even. Some warm liquid escaped from his body and he later registered it was his own blood.

"We loved you. We gave you a family yet you spat on our name." That brought Ace back from his emptiness. What? When did he spat on them? He loves the Whitebeards and yet he is being tortured but he still doesn't mind. But all he wants is to stay away from everyone right now. Wants to be alone. Wants to be in the comforting hug of his brother. He could really make him feel good. But does he deserve such a sunshine in his life?

"You are a fucking monster, yoi." Marco spat, when he felt Ace not even looking at him or reacting to any questions he has been asking. He was taking the beatings, and ignoring him. How dare he?

But unknown to Marco, the last straw holding his already broken heart broke. Unknown to Marco, Ace's heart shattered to millions of pieces. But Marco could only hear a laughter, which he felt taunting, but in reality had been a broken laugh. A laugh which said I'm so broken that I couldn't ever hope to recover anymore. But Marco ignored and felt rage bubble through him as he pounded his fists into Ace countless of times, unknown to the tears which trailed of Ace, for the first time during the presence of his brothers or torturers. Ace wasn't able to breath above the beating and his own sobbing. He couldn't. He just wanted to be alone right now. He wanted to curl up in a corner and never come out of it.

His eldest brother had called him a monster.

"You deserve to die, yoi," Another punch to his gut and his shattered heart. He wants to die but Marco didn't know. Nor Ace attempted to do anything. He lay there broken, unable to pick himself anymore. He lay still, until the beatings stopped coming. He wanted to frown. He wanted to be bet up, to be broken more, to be shattered, to be destroyed. He wanted to die. But it had stopped and now his inner demons could control him and make him feel more helpless and terrible for being born. He wanted to be bet unconscious, but he was left alone in the dark cell. He curled up against his bleeding torso with his arms around his legs.

'I'm sorry Lu, but could you let me die? I want to be free.'