Nothing had really been going Black Hat's way recently.

Where Flug was concerned at least. Everything else in his life was pretty good, it was just this one thing that irked him. This one thing that bled into a bunch of other things and was beginning to really get on his nerves. Black Hat had no idea why something that should've been so simple was becoming so complicated, but he would really like it to stop. He was already doing about three or five things simultaneously, he did not need whatever unnecessary headache Aurelio Cruz and his family would give him. Not that it stopped him from endlessly racking his brain over what to do about them. Obviously, he couldn't act now, but-

Black Hat let his breath out slowly. He lifted his head up and released his foot. That was good, now for the other leg. He shifted so his left leg was now extended, his right bent at an angle perpendicular to it. He grabbed his midfoot, took a deep breath in, and bent down until his face was about level with his knee. He counted to five slowly, and let it out, rising again. He repeated this another four times, trying not to think about the Cruz family and what a pain they were sure to be.

Oh they were dying. Most definitely. Aurelio, because he was a jackass that drove Flug to some kind of minor mental breakdown. His mother, because she got in the way. His father, potentially, because Black Hat felt like it. His sister What's-Her-Face...eh, Black Hat could leave her be. Was it...Elaine? No, he didn't think that was it. Whatever. Regardless, he was already murdering her family, that should be enough. But the ever-looming problem reared its ugly head again, how and when?

Black Hat stood up, held his hands behind his back, and slowly raised his arms. He took a deep breath in, and held it as he raised his arms as far behind him as he could. He managed to get them up a little past his midsection. Not too bad.

He exhaled slowly, as his arms continued up. A contented smile spreading across his face as his upper back and shoulders rippled and snapped to allow for the movement he desired. Both his eyes slipped shut in satisfaction, feeling his bones and muscles seamlessly break and mend themselves until his joints were past the limits of any normal human. And then back to normal. His hands were in front of him, and he felt great. He swung his arms around, making sure everything was still functioning normally. Mmm, his shoulders felt so loose now! He rolled his head around, three hundred and sixty degrees, and was rewarded with a loud pop. Ooooooh but he felt so much better! He went all the way down his spine, somewhat consciously somewhat intuitively, and managed to get four cracks out of his thoracic vertebrae. He even got one out of the lumbar!

They say you shouldn't do that, but Black Hat didn't care. It was one of only a handful of things he felt comfortable enough to do on a more regular basis, he would stop when he was dead.

Oh he was going to hate himself for this later, but he just couldn't stop. His back arched and unleashed dozens of tentacles. Some deciding halfway through that they were going to be arms instead and developed fully formed humerus, radius, ulna, all the bones that made up the wrist and fingers, and fingernails. Elongated proportionally to be the same length as the tentacles, with many more joints than any human arm should have. He flexed them, all of them, in ways that were probably wholly unnatural and borderline impossible (even more so). Though things like the physically impossible had never impeded Black Hat before and he doubted they would now. A few mouths sprouted on his bare torso to voice his satisfaction. His tongues flicked out from rows of sharp teeth to taste the air, feeling everything so intensely.

There, he was perfectly relaxed.

Until he opened his eye and caught a hint of his reflection in the glass of Lil' Jack's cage.

Well, enough of that. Time to shove it all away and go back to pretending it didn't exist. And what better way to do that than with a shower to wash off all this disgusting sweat? Even though he wasn't even remotely close to a certain Italian he knew who also had a knack for contortion, and needed to be forced into the shower on more than one occasion back when Black Hat had lived with him. Damn it Giorno you fucking pretzel if you're going to wear a skin tight unitard the least you could do is practice basic hygiene! The man had terrible body odor and was oddly hairy, but damn if he wasn't flexible. Oh those legs...

The shower quickly began to fill up with steam, as Black Hat liked to have the hot water going on full blast. It felt good on his skin. So nice and scalding. The only downside was how starkly his body stood out from the white vapor. He should get black tile for the bathroom in his headquarters. Oh that would look so nice. Maybe he'd be able to disappear in the steam then. It was unlikely, but he could pretend.

It seemed like it was going to be a good day. He'd gotten up fairly early, had done his stretches, was now showering. All he needed now was breakfast and his morning would be set. Perhaps he'd be lucky enough to read something entertaining in the obituaries. Morbid, but hardly the worst thing he took pleasure in.

Though, he hadn't been having the best of luck as of late. He'd hoped to deliver Flug the source of his pain Christmas morning, but things hadn't gone according to plan. At all. First, the guy takes forever to show up, then Black Hat has a lapse in judgement and is forced to punch himself in the face (he swore he would never give the bastard another chance to seize the upper hand), and then...

And then...

And then he ran. Because that bitch had done something to him and he...it was just gone.

It had felt similar to losing a body part. Not the physical pain, the moment right before the pain registers. The exact moment it happens, when you can't actually feel anything. You need to take a moment just to process what's happened to you before you can feel it. The only thing you feel is that you don't feel. You can't. He couldn't. He couldn't sense any of it. Like it wasn't even there. Something connected to him, a part of him, fully removed. Or something even more personal, like he'd lost one of his senses along with it. Something so crucial to him, so close to him, a part of him he shared with no one, and it had been...taken from him. Severed. Until he'd gotten far enough away, and it had returned. He'd been so relieved, which was so backwards for him. He supposed it was just the familiarity of the thing, he was just relieved to be back to quote unquote "normal". Like it or not, it was a part of him. It was only natural that losing it so unexpectedly affected him like it did.

He glanced around various parts of his body, wincing a bit. He really didn't like looking at all his scars. Not that he particularly liked the unscarred parts any better, but his scars especially stirred very unpleasant feelings in him. He'd put a lot of work into his body, he knew himself to be strong and very resilient. He was a tough son of a bitch to kill, he knew that. He wouldn't be brought down without a fight, and whatever he took he would handle. No matter how much it hurt, whatever happened, he'd come back from it. He knew this to be fact. His entire life had been a fight in one way or another, and they'd all been fights he'd won. That's what these were. Proof that he'd always come out on top. You think this looks bad? You should see everyone else. His scars were reminders of his capabilities, his ability to withstand whatever this world had to throw at him. Physical declarations of I won. They had to be. Nothing would stop him. Nothing could stop him. Certainly not something as ridiculous as feelings. He should be most comfortable in his own skin should he not? He would be the one to dominate this world. He would not be beaten. Any threat to his aspirations would be annihilated with extreme prejudice, by his own hands. However many he chose to do the deed with. And that included whatever went on in his own head.

He would not be beaten by anyone.

She just...caught him off guard, that was all. He hadn't known of her Gift and it had cost him Flug's. At least he'd been able to give him that little model plane. That had certainly been something. It might have even been better. It was more subtle, and perhaps more thoughtful. It showed that Black Hat had been listening to him and remembered his interests. Since he was trying to take things slow, perhaps it had been better in the long run to gift him something small right now. Too big a gesture might scare him off.

Her words still rang through his head:

"You must be the one who cut the power. It seemed only fair that I return the favor."

Hmmph. Just an ordinary woman, was she? Black Hat thought the fuck not. The fact that Flug held no doubts about her normalness did not sit well with him, he'd need someone else to look into this. Damn it, he didn't have time to be Anon's personal corpse disposal! He had plans of his own, thank you very much! And doing it for other people always made him feel...discontented...

Which meant either Black Hat would have to do things on his own (which he also didn't have time for, and would take longer), or he'd just have to wait. Like he told Flug to do. He did not want to wait. He wanted to go back there and drive through their front door and just go ape shit.

He also really wanted to get dressed now. He was starting to push his limits of how long he could stand to look at himself.

Ahh, nice fresh laundry. Without any lingering smell other than cleanliness. Fitted to his exact measurements. Giving definition to his broad shoulders and toned figure. Outlined like this, he could let his eye linger. He could really believe he looked good. Gloves that fit like a second skin. Cufflinks very subtly in the shape of skulls, Black Hat didn't think anyone ever even noticed. Same with his socks. It was a small, inconsequential thing, but it made him smile. He combed his hair back neatly and topped off the look with his top hat.

There. Perfect. He was perfect.

And very hungry.

He'd sent Flug a text when he was on the way, something he felt he should get back into the habit of doing. Flug had been acting rather nervous around him lately, which you'd think would be standard by now, but actually Black Hat thought they'd gotten well enough acquainted that Flug would be past this already. Black Hat had made the effort to hold back, he'd been trying to keep to small things; he touched him much less frequently and had only kissed him once since Flug asked him to slow down. And it was on the damn cheek even! Did Flug want him to completely stop?! It had seemed like he was open to being intimate again, just not exactly prepared for it just yet. He wanted to take things slowly. Black Hat tried to be understanding. He knew being forcibly outed had done a number on him, and knew he'd be better off backing off when Flug was so vulnerable. So he'd given Flug some time, enough for him to collect himself and start putting that emotional pain toward something productive. It should only take another day or so to finish their little torture chamber, and then Black Hat could get their guy and maybe finally see something similar to how Flug had handled Aurelio.

He hadn't been lying, it had been amazing to see Flug so bloodthirsty! Black Hat had no doubt that had the circumstances been different, Flug would've killed him with no hesitation. He was so looking forward to seeing that side of him again!

Black Hat parked right outside Flug's apartment building and texted that he'd arrived. He waited against the side of his car, perfectly in position to open the passenger door for Flug, like a perfect gentleman taking his main squeeze for a night on the town. Surely this will put his skittish scientist at ease! Flug was down after maybe two minutes. He made good time, he must've been waiting for him. Black Hat was pleased.

Black Hat greeted him with a wide smile, showing off his new ride. The car they'd seen last week, the one Flug said he'd thought would suit him.

"Good morning," He said gallantly. "Ready to go?"

"Uh, y-yeah, sure." Black Hat was a bit put off by how Flug was very much not enamored with his display. He didn't even seem intrigued. Black Hat wouldn't let himself falter just because of that, though. He opened the door for Flug, who at least remembered to say thank you. "So, you really went and got this huh?"

"I was told it could suit me quite nicely. What do you think?"

"Yeah, yeah it really does. Much better than the prius." Don't even bring that horrid thing up, please. "What did this cost you anyway?"

"Oh, just an arm and a leg." Black Hat smirked.

"Oh...ok..." Flug looked very troubled by that reply.

"Calm down, Flug." He climbed into the car, still trying to maintain a happy face. "They weren't mine."

Flug did not look reassured by that statement. If anything, he looked even more troubled. His eyes were wide and he put on his seatbelt cautiously like he was worried he'd find dried blood or something on it.

Flug oh my god I AM JOKING I paid money for it I SWEAR that was a joke WHY MUST YOU TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY?!

Well...maybe he had been only half-joking. As nice as the car was, it had been very pricey. It might've even been worth it. Maybe Black Hat had convinced someone to sell it to him at a bit of a discount by more unsavory means. Hey, he had to budget somewhere. But no one had died, he promised! Why would Flug even care about that, it wasn't like his hands were clean!

Flug seemed so on edge. Was Black Hat coming on too strong, still? He didn't feel like he was even actually doing anything! The most he did was drop his Pet-name more often, and if Flug had that big a problem with it he could just tell Black Hat himself! Had he not given Flug enough time? Was he really still rushing him? UUUuuuuugggggghhhhhh he's so sensitive! Black Hat understood Flug wasn't the most extroverted person but come on! HE WAS BARELY DOING ANYTHING!

Maybe he was just anxious about testing the Stun Gun. Black Hat hadn't shared his plans for the big night, but he'd figured their immediate priority should be ensuring they'd be undetected and undisturbed. All the plans in the world wouldn't do shit if they didn't lay the foundation for them first. What did it matter who they kidnapped or how if they didn't have somewhere safe to kill them? The entire scheme fell apart without this component! Kind of like it almost had with the Stun Gun.

Oh, was that what this was about?

Things were looking up.

Black Hat's new car could fit so much more in the back! They'd been able to pad the walls with a suitable amount of furniture and foam, thrown down a few rubber mats to absorb whatever sound may revebatate (also as a safety measure, since they would be working with electricity here), and the copious amount of tarps hanging from the ceiling would both muffle sound and prevent any evidence from leaving a very confined space. Not that that would be much of a concern during their experiment. But after-

Well, that was something to deal with after. Presently, Black Hat would focus on the fact that they were practically finished furnishing their designated spot for murder, and here he'd thought it would take at least another day! Finally, everything was falling into place! Just one last thing Black Hat wanted to check.

"Flug, I need you to do something for me."

"Um, ok. What?"

"Stay right there," Black Hat stepped out and reached for the door. "I'm going to shut this, and then I want you to scream as loud as you can. Like you're trying to call for help."

"Ok. I can do that."

"Bene," Black Hat pulled the door down and waited. If he didn't hear Flug at all, perfect. If he could barely hear him, still good. There shouldn't be anyone around, a bit of noise seeping through was acceptable. If he could make out words, they had a problem.

Oh pineapples, did he slip into Italian again? Why did he keep doing that?

He heard a bit of Flug's voice. He couldn't tell if he was saying actual words or just screaming wildly in there. He could just barely hear it, even though he was right on the other side of the door. That was fine. The sound was probably emanating from the vents. Perhaps he could block them temporarily, just as an extra precaution. It wasn't necessary, this should be more than enough, but he'd remember the thought if things ever happened to get dicy.

Black Hat knocked, hoping Flug would hear it. He was fairly sure the screaming had stopped, so Black Hat lifted up the door swiftly. "We're good, I barely heard your voice at all."

"Good, good. So, what's next?"

"Next, we get our guinea pig and test the Stun Gun for real." Black Hat smiled wide, this was going to be so good!

"Awesome. Yeah. Can't wait. Whe-When do you think will be a good time to get our test subject?"

"I'm thinking...this upcoming weekend." A bit of short notice, yes, but Black Hat really wanted to get this done as soon as possible. Especially with the new semester coming up. It'd be better for Flug, to only have one thing to agonize over at a time. "Let's aim for next Saturday."

"Ok. Cool. What, ah, what do I do? What's the plan?"

"Mmmm, let's not talk about it here." Black Hat came closer to Flug, looming semi-seductively but careful not to touch. He wanted to make a move but still go slowly like Flug asked him to. "We could discuss it at my place. Ooh! Lil' Jack just finished shedding her skin, you should see her in person! She's getting darker, and her scales look so metallic at the moment!" He had pictures of course, but she looked far more amazing in the flesh.

Oh. Flug looked very uncomfortable with that suggestion. Was he still scared of Lil' Jack? Black Hat promised, he hadn't opened the cage to do anything other than clean it and feed her. He hadn't made any moves to touch her since the last time. He certainly wouldn't be trying to take her out with Flug there!

Or was it something else?

"You know, you look tired." Black Hat accepted that Flug was not ready to be alone in Black Hat's home again. He'd lost a bit of the trust he'd built between them. "Have you been resting like I told you to?"

"Yes, I have."

LIAR! "Why don't I just take you home, and we'll go over the plan later?"

"Yeah, ok."

Hmmmm, was Flug really that upset about what Black Hat had done? The timing added up, he'd only recently began to act wary of him (for the second or third time, he meant). His scars hadn't opened up like when he'd shocked himself. He'd hadn't appeared to have so much as tried to resist his immobilization. He said he hadn't been hurt. Was he doing that stupid thing where he tries to spare Black Hat's feelings or whatever? For the love of all that was evil, how did Flug expect Black Hat to rectify this if he refused to talk to him!? Did he think Black Hat could read his mind?! Communicate, Flug, COMMUNICATE!

If there was a problem, Black Hat thought the best way of dealing with it was first and foremost saying that there was a problem. Ideally Black Hat would then fix it and get Flug to calm the fuck down. His timidness had been cute at first, but it was starting to get grating. His almost endearing stutter was quickly growing to be annoying. Black Hat felt he should instill a decent amount of fear in his subordinate, of course, but it was interfering with his plans and his ability to function like a normal person so he supposed he should try and do something to make up for...whatever the hell he did. Flug certainly wouldn't tell him.

Why would Flug not just say "Hey, this really bothered me for *insert reason* and that's why it would help if you do this next time."? How was Black Hat supposed to know?! Was he supposed to guess!? UUUUuugggggghhhhhhhhhh Flug could be so hard to talk to sometimes! Mainly because he refused to talk!

And he was not resting! Black Hat could very clearly see him working on what he assumed to be a small scale version of a Hat-Bot. Though even from this angle, it looked considerably different from his blueprints. Black Hat wanted to ask about it, but how exactly would he do that? He couldn't say "I see you working through the cameras I hid in your apartment but that's not enough and I want to hear from you what you're doing. Also I told you to rest and you aren't why are you lying right to my face? What did I do to deserve that?"

That was a bit similar to his predicament with the Stun Gun. He couldn't explain that he knew Flug would be relatively safe because he'd seen Flug do it to himself. He couldn't tell him that he did it because he knew Flug would be fine. He couldn't know that. So how would he explain himself? What did Flug need to hear to know Black Hat hadn't been trying to hurt him? It was just as he said, he needed to know if the rubber gloves would work. Otherwise, what would they do? Testing the Stun Gun was the entire point. If it failed, then they failed. Didn't Flug understand that? Didn't he know that failure was not an option here?

"What does he want from me?" He groaned in Lil' Jack's direction. "Why doesn't he just tell me what's going on in his head?" The snake, naturally, said nothing. Black Hat sighed, she was so beautiful. Worth every cent. Worth taking his eye off of Flug for a few minutes so he could admire her. She was such a calming shade of a dark iron gray now, half-hidden in the little nest she'd made. The red bands on her back half were becoming more noticeable with each shedding, currently reminding Black Hat of an old blood trail. Blood that had been spilled and left to dry. Such a beautiful pattern.

He got up and approached the cage, she didn't seem to stir in the slightest. That was good. The first few days she'd perked her head up every time he'd gotten close. Defensive, on guard, untrusting. He'd tried to give her space, let her get adjusted to her new environment. Show her he'd be taking care of her now. He would be feeding her and cleaning her cage, replacing her water and observing her closely. Gradually, she became accustomed to the schedule he set, and he was now familiar enough to come right up to her without any fuss. Lil' Jack eyed him about as intensely as he eyed her, perhaps curious. It wasn't feeding time, and he wouldn't usually be cleaning this late.

"How about you?" He asked softly, opening the top of the cage slightly. "What do you think of me?"

Lil' Jack tilted her head towards the open spot in her roof, but didn't move. Her small black tongue flicked out, perhaps smelling a bit of the outside world. Logically, Black Hat knew she had no actual opinion of him. He doubted he registered in her little reptilian mind as anything more than The One Who Brings Rats or My Paparazzi. But sometimes he wondered what went on behind those sneaky eyes. Was she content? Was she simply biding her time with him?

He wondered what she'd do if he slipped his hand into her cage. She probably wouldn't like that, it would probably set back what little progress he'd made with her. Couldn't be too hasty with such a deadly beauty. Especially when she was looking right at him, as if asking What are your intentions with me? What is it you're trying to do?

He closed the cage again.

He was trying to get closer, but the only one who seemed to want him closer was Dem. Who he had no interest in, and was already spending too much time with as it was. Between Christmas, and how often she called and texted, and then on New Years he'd almost went to her-

Oh now he was just making himself mad all over again. Just...he'd wanted to surprise Flug! He'd wanted to surprise him, and spend New Years with him, and yeah ok maybe lower his inhibitions a little and try for some physical attention, but nothing ungentlemanly! He wasn't even going to try taking him out! He would've been satisfied with a simple night in; talking, enjoying each other's presence, toasting, whatever else may happen. That was it. He thought Flug would like something like that. It was going to be such a nice thing they would share!

And it just so happened he'd planned this nice little surprise the one time Flug goes out of his own volition! Who even were those people!? Flug didn't talk to people! He didn't go places! He didn't do things! It was one of the things that had made Black Hat seek him out, he was already isolated! No need to start alienating him from other people, he did it to himself!

Since when was he so close with the people in his club that they invite him out for drinks? And since when does he accept invitations to go out drinking?! How did they even know where he lived, he never invited people over!

Flug had been out, Black Hat had no one else to be with, he'd almost- almost -called Dem just to have something to do other than sit in his apartment with the one pet who wouldn't abandon him. But she would just ask about him. Want to talk about them. Ugh, he liked her far better in short bursts. He didn't even care about her moving hair, surprising strength, or whether or not those were real fangs. He didn't even care about how deeply she'd clawed her old bully even though her nails were always clipped short. Were they like his or-

OK, no. Not going to think about that. Not even going to spend so much as another single solitary second thinking about either of them.

You know, he'd probably accomplish that a lot better if he didn't go back to watching Flug through his laptop.

Flug hadn't felt comfortable enough to come to Black Hat's apartment again. Maybe that was too much for him. Maybe he thought Black Hat would try something. Was that really what he thought of him? Fine. Would he not like Black Hat back in his apartment though? Black Hat refused to speak about the plan in public or any other non-secured location, so it would have to be one of their homes. Black Hat wanted to talk about what Flug was working on as well, so hopefully he wouldn't have too big an issue with it.

How about I come over tomorrow and go over the plan? When is good for you? There. Flug could even pick the time.

Ok, he saw Flug reading the text...oh come on, I AM ASKING YOUR PERMISSION TO COME OVER STOP BEING SO FRIGHTENED! I DON'T EVEN NEED TO, I CAN COME IN WHENEVER I WANT AND YET I ASK!

Well, sometimes. He did knock first on New Years Eve before he came in. How was he supposed to know Flug wasn't there? HE WAS ALWAYS THERE! Why would Black Hat have any reason to think differently?!

The reply: Six is fine

That felt like a very reluctant answer. But it was a yes. Black Hat would take it. He'd just have to make good use of what little time he had.

Black Hat arrived at six on the dot.

"So, are you ready for the big night?"

"Yeah, yeah, I was b-born ready. Just tell me what the plan is, boss."

Aw, he called him "boss". He liked that almost as much as he did "sir". "Excellent. So- ooh what's this?" Black Hat picked up what kind of looked like a tiny little arm out of a sea of machinery. Three pronged, or rather fingered. Even something so small as this looked interesting. He wanted to know what Flug was making for him next.

"Oh that's just what I've been working on lately." Flug picked it out of Black Hat's hands and kind of pushed it all into a pile. "It's not done, sorry, but, um, c-could we get back to the pl-pl-plan? Please?"

"Right," Black Hat would find out later. The plan came first. He cleared his throat, trying to get his mind back on track. "Now that we have successfully soundproofed and prepared our kill-room, we're ready to test the Stun Gun 2.0 and it's capabilities both as a means of torture and murder. In my spare time I've been following someone who will serve as our test subject, and should be easy enough to abduct this upcoming Saturday night."

"Right. Good. Um..." Flug looked a little uneasy.

"Something wrong, Flug?"

"No, no, it's just..." He fiddled nervously with his fingers. "C-Could you, like, tell me the plan step-by-step? I really just want to make sure I understand exactly how this is going to go."

Ok, that was good. Flug was telling him exactly what he needed. Progress! "Of course. First, I will pick you up at 10:00. I will drop you off at our storage unit around roughly 10:45 and you will wait for me to return with our test subject."

"You want me to just sit and wait for you?"

"Remember what I said about the bench, Flug?" Black Hat put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't take it personally, it's just that it's the most delicate part of the plan and I'm more than capable of doing it flawlessly on my own. Besides, you have another part to play."

"I do?"

"Yes. Also, as a side note, I will be staking out our guys home for an hour or two, as there is some deviation in his routine. I recommend you bring a book or something, it may be a while."

"Alright," Flug seemed so disappointed. Ah well, that would certainly change once Black Hat told him his part. "So then, that should mean you'll show up around midnight?"

"Most likely later. Maybe 12:50 to 1:30."

"Ok, so, then what?"

"Then comes the best part." Black Hat smiled wide. He was so excited! It was going to be marvelous! "We'll get him out of the trunk and into our kill-room, I'll hand the Stun Gun off to you, you'll show me every feature it has, and then you'll kill him."

Flug looked like his brain had taken a second to reboot. He slowly raised a hand and pointed to himself. "I-I-I...I'm going t-to-"

"Well of course! You built it! Who could give a better demonstration than you?" See, Flug? You get the best part of all! And Black Hat's even set up a safe-space where you can be villainous to your heart's content! No risk of being found out or interrupted, no way Flug could mess anything up! Black Hat couldn't wait to watch!

"Oh. Wow." Flug breathed out, like all the air had gone out of his lungs. "I thought, after Aurelio and all, th-that you would be the one t-"

"Flug, that's in the past." Black Hat cooed, cupping the young man's chin. "Though I suppose I have given you a rather hard time about that. This will be different. We have some place nice and secret, we've made certain that we won't be disturbed, it will be perfect. We both have our parts to play and I have no doubt that you will be amazing. It'll be your first real murder as an official villain!"

"Yeah. Uh huh."

Black Hat was noticing a distinct lack of enthusiasm from his subordinate. Why? Wasn't he looking forward to seeing what his invention could accomplish when fully realized? Didn't he want to see his success? He let go of Flug's chin and saw the man relax almost instantly. Not completely, but enough to be noticeable.

"I can't help but feel you're upset with me."

"What? Oh, no, it's nothing. Just-"

"Flug, we are going to be spending a lot of time together." Black Hat said flatly. "I feel it is important that our relationship, whatever kind we may have, be a good one. A good relationship is built on trust and communication. I trust you, Flug. Do you trust me?"

"We-Well, I mean, uh, y-yeah. Yeah, I-I trust you."

"Even after I shot you with the Stun Gun?"

Yep. There it was.

"You understand that we're breaking the law here, right? We can't afford to mess up. Everything I've worked for my entire life could be ruined by that. I hope you weren't thinking you'd be able to leave me if things went bad."

"N-No! Not at all! It's nothing like that! I-I understand, it's j-just...just..."

"Trust..." Black Hat held Flug's face in his hands. "...and Communication, my Pet. Tell me how I can regain your trust."

GRrrrrrrrrrrrr he still looked so nervous! Please Flug, just tell me what it is you need to hear! I already apologized, didn't I?! Do you need me to apologize again?! Was I not sincere enough?! Tell me tell me tELL ME!

"Look, about the Stun Gun," Black Hat fought to keep his voice even. He released Flug's head before he could rip it off. "It...it wouldn't have been the end of the world if the rubber gloves didn't work. If we couldn't use it to secure our victim, we'd just have to fall back on more traditional kidnapping methods."

"L-Like what?"

"You know, like, holding a knife or a gun to someone's head. A regular gun, I mean. Or just covering their mouth and grabbing them. Chloroform and such." Some other things I'm not going to tell you about. "There are options." Yes, real tried-and-true methods of abduction. One might even call them classics.

"Where-" Flug paused. "Ok, kind of a stupid question. I guess I should've figured you know where to get chloroform."

"Hell, I could make some chloroform. It's honestly not that hard, you can do it right at home."

"Wait, really?"

"Do you have bleach?"

"I think I do."

"Do you have rubbing alcohol as well?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations, you can make chloroform."

"Seriously?!"

"Yep. The potency might be a little off depending on how much you mix, but put the two together and you got yourself some homemade chloroform. Mix bleach with vinegar and you get chlorine gas, and if you mix it with ammonia you get chloramine. Words of advice, unless you're trying to kill someone, just don't mix anything acidic with bleach or before you know it you've made hydrochloric acid. And you don't want something like that on accident."

"How have I never heard about any of these?"

"Hey, count yourself lucky you didn't find out by mistake."

"Is that how y-you found out?" Flug looked so hesitant, like he thought Black Hat wouldn't want to tell him. Had Black Hat not told him about a bunch of his illegal exploits over dinner? Why on earth would he have a problem talking about his suspicious proficiency in household chemical combinations!?

"The acid one, yes." He admitted. "Chloroform, chloramine, those I learned from other people."

"How exactly...do you make hydrochloric acid on accident?"

Funny story, that's exactly what everyone asked me when I did it. Though they were angrier. "Why? We don't need to get rid of a body right this second."

Flug laughed a bit uneasily. "Is ah, is anyone selling an acid gun on the black market right now? Do you think that might be something people would want?"

Black Hat smirked. That was such a fun idea! Good on Flug for seeing opportunities everywhere! "You know, I don't think anyone's made anything new on that front in years. Surely something as strong as hydrochloric acid would be a must-have item. But Flug, one thing at a time. We've got to test the Stun Gun, and then we can test...whatever you're making over there." Black Hat motioned towards the half-assembled pile of robot-parts. "Care to tell me what it will be?"

"Oh, sure, it started out as a miniature prototype for the Hat-Bot, but certain things just will not scale down. I'm s-sorry, I might've wasted most of what you gave me." Flug rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "But I was also thinking, um, it might be more beneficial to start with something...smaller. What-What I mean is, maybe instead of trying to make a semi-decent tiny killing machine, what if I made a kind of robotic helper first?"

"Oh?" This was interesting.

"Yeah I mean, we're starting small already, and an actual Hat-Bot will be gigantic and powerful...and it will be pretty slow making one with it being just me on my own." Ok good point. "I'd ask people from my club-" Please don't. "-but I don't think any of them are really at 'becoming villains' levels of dissatisfied with the world. So, I thought I could at least build an extra pair of hands or three, i-if that's alright."

Dissatisfied, are they? Perhaps they could be used after all. They should be around Flug's level in terms of technological intelligence, and they were his friends or something. If they thought it was just Flug making stuff on his own in his spare time, they shouldn't be too hard to convince. But Black Hat really wanted to hear more about this robotic assistant Flug wanted to make. It didn't seem like he had any sort of concrete plan, and he was running out of useable materials.

He was about to inquire further when his phone alarm went off.

Drat. Time was up.

"I have to go," Damn it to hell, he wanted to talk to Flug about his little robot-helper thing! "But I'd really love to hear more about this...hmmm, what do you call it? Have you thought of any possible names?"

"Uhhh, not really. Should we stick with the 'hat' theme?"

"Why not? It'd be good to have a signature motif. It's good for marketability."

"Right, right, so...um..." Flug tapped away at his chin cutely. "Hat, hat, hat..."

"Hat-ssistent." Black Hat said. And immediately regretted. "No, no that's awful. Terrible. Never mention it again."

"Hat...Helper-Hat?" Flug suggested.

"Mmm, better. But still no."

"Helping-Hat?"

"That sounds like some hero's sidekick, keep going."

"Ummm..."

"Hat...Drone?" Hmm, it was something. It would certainly save money to use mostly robots as their expendable drones. And having their own signature staff was good for his image. Not sure it really fit what they wanted at the moment, though.

"That's not too bad."

Not too bad was not good enough. Black Hat wanted to strive for excellence. The name had to be ingenious, and catchy! "Ehh, What else have we got?"

"Minion-Hat?"

Flug, all your names suck today! If I didn't have to leave right after this I would get you drunk again! Or just me, maybe I'd like them better if I was tipsy. "We've already got the 'Hat-Bot' name, can we go off of that?"

"Ok, ok, that might work a little better, uh...ha ha ha," Flug chuckled a bit. "You know, it's a little silly but, I kind of got the whole idea from this dumb thing Tesoro said when she saw it."

"What?" Also, who? Who was that?

"It was some stupid thing about how great it would be to have my own little butler-bot around, and I mean she wasn't wrong..." Flug trailed off, but it seemed like a lightbulb went off in his head. "Hey, um, what do you think of-"

Black Hat was only a second behind him.

"Hat-Botler." They said in unison.

Black Hat wanted ten. "That's it. We got it."

"You think so?"

"Yes. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. Now it just needs a design to match."

"I can do that." Oh, Black Hat knew he could. Now that he knew what it was he was working towards, Flug would have no trouble creating it. If only Black Hat had more time!

"I wish I could stay and continue discussing this, but I really do need to go. Maybe I could come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, ok, sure." Flug seemed much more relaxed now! Good! Black Hat was back in this! "What's that alarm for anyways?"

"It's my reminder to get back to stalking our guy." He said casually.

"Oh. Ok then."

"Could I come a little earlier tomorrow? So we have more time to talk, I mean? Would it be alright if I just picked you up from work?"

Hmm? That seemed to dampen his mood slightly. "Yeah, su-sure."

"Then I'll see you tomorrow Flug!"

Black Hat left, speed-walking into the elevator and back to his car. Flug had said it was okay, but the way he said it made Black Hat wonder if he actually meant it. Why was he so hesitant to just say "No, no thank you, I'd rather you not" if that was how he felt? When, in all the time they had known each other, had Black Hat not respected his "no's"? Ugh, this was going to be just like with Aurelio, wasn't it? Flug would give half-assed not-quite rejections until Black Hat forced him to give a definite answer.

He needed to talk to him about that as well.

Black Hat returned home after a few hours.

"I'm home Lil' Jack!" He called out softly, as he often did when he got in so late. Hell, it was basically early by this point. He made his way over to her enclosure and found her drinking from her water dish. Lucky him, she was usually fast asleep by now. Oh oh oh ooooh oh, the way her little cheeks (or whatever she had, they looked like cheeks) puffed up! Black Hat whipped his phone out and swiped directly to the camera so he didn't miss more than a few seconds. He was fascinated by nearly every little thing she did, even something like drinking water.

She lifted her head up and smacked her lips together a few times, getting the last few drops of water down her dark, black throat.

Black Hat covered his hand with one mouth to avoid making any embarrassingly high-pitched noises that might be caught by his phone.

That was adorable!

Translations:

Bene = Good (Italian)

Notes:

I would just like to take this time to ask you all to please NOT furnish a murder-room, or try and macgyver yourself up some chloroform, or put cameras in someone else's homes. And please don't try to mix household chemicals into anything dangerous. I could be legally responsible, so I just want to put it out there in writing that I neither endorse nor justify anything Black Hat does here. Also, my search history is incriminating enough as it is, so I didn't look up how true these are. If you'd like to incriminate yourself, be my guest. I can't stop you. But If I'm going to prison, I'd rather it be for a crime I actually committed, not for someone else's.