Disclaimer: I do not own Austin & Ally or anything else you may recognize

It hurts, to love someone so much, and then lose them and not even know why.

It's heartbreaking, to have a fallout with someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with.

And so you cry and think and scream doubt, wondering if it's all your fault. Was I not good enough? Was I boring? Was I toxic? Am I just a lying, no good, rotten, manipulator?

Are you sick of me? Does my face repulse you? Do you involuntarily gag when you think of me?

We had plans for our future, we were going to move in together, go to college together, we were going to do everything.

And then it all went down the drain. We started talking less and less, we rarely hung out anymore.

And then he came along.

I saw how your eyes lit up at the sight of him, how you smiled so much brighter.

I knew I had been replaced, but I was so desperate to salvage this broken relationship.

I tried my best, or did I? Maybe I just gave up.

I saw you become a different person, you changed right in front of eyes, while I still tried to hold onto what was left of you.

Maybe it was your new friends that made you realize you didn't need me, that I was just a burden to you.

I was so angry at you, I wanted you out of my life, and I was so close to cutting you out, but I stayed, because the truth is I never wanted to let you go despite all the pain you caused me.

And then that day came, the day where you deleted my contact.

I remember calling you, and your freaking cousin answered the phone. They asked me who l was, not believing I knew you.

It took some time, I had to beg you to tell them I knew you, and that I wasn't just some pyhsco.

After we hung up I deleted your contact, not bothering to block you, in case you ever wanted to reach out,

But you never did.

A week later I started seeing you everywhere I went, whether a poster of you at the supermarket, or your latest hit on the radio, or your newest post on my phone.

For a while I hung onto this hope, this small stupid hope that you would come back, but you didn't. I saw how much happier you were with him, and I knew it was time to let you go.

I still think about you, wonder how you're doing, what you're up to. Wonder if you ever think about me.

You used to say you thought about me every morning when you opened your eyes, and every evening when you turn off the lights, and now I doubt you think about me at all.

I wonder, do you ever regret it? Do you miss me? Do you ever wish I was by your side?

Probably not, but I would still welcome you with open arms, even after all the tears you've caused me, because no matter what I say, I still love you.