"Why did you even follow us?" Currently I'm talking with the most attractive blonde I have ever seen.

My eyes are focused on her two most attractive features, those not being her eyes of course. I'm talking about her tits, I didn't have the time to appreciate them back in the park.

The blonde grins. "Sorry, but I need to stay in your house for a while..." She looks a bit guilty. "I'll pay you guys back somehow."

Normally I would reject such an ask, but the blonde is hot and naked, so... "Sure you can crash here for a few days." Sex!

Also, it's pretty obvious that she's important in some way or another, and I'm the protagonist of this world, so I can't just ignore her.

Rika shakes her head. "Absolutely not! It's already bad enough you entered our apartment!" Right, Rika is going to be an obstacle.

The blonde gives Rika a pout. "C'mon... I'm homeless, kind of." Also you're incredibly hot, please let it happen Rika!

Rika glares at her. "You haven't even told us your name! Also you're seducing Yuta with your cow tits!" Ah! Don't say things like that!

The blonde blushes. "Sorry! My name is Arcueid Brunestud!" Now that's a important character's name if I ever heard one. "And sorry for seducing your boyfriend!"

Rika glares surprisingly softens. "Well, if you're sorry..." She accepted it!? "Oh! My name is Rika Okkotsu by the way!"

I smile. "And I'm Yuta Okkotsu." Rika's last name is technically Orimoto, but she hates that, so she uses mine.

Arcueid covers her mouth in shock. "You two are married!? Then I really shouldn't be naked around your husband!"

Rika quickly nods. "Yes we are married~!" Not really... But sure. "Now put on some clothes!"

Arcueid makes an apologetic face. "Sorry, I don't have any clothes, since you guys burned mine when I got killed by the beam." Sorry!

I make a thinking pose. "That's troublesome, since it's not like I have clothes made for women in my house." Rika can't wear it after all.

Arcueid's eyes widen. "Wait, if you're considering giving me clothing... Does that mean I can stay here!?"

I sigh. "As long as you explain why you want to, sure." I'm still confused about that. Surely she can just go somewhere else?

Arcueid awkwardly looks to the side. "It's just that... I got pretty hurt in my fight with Rika, and I used a lot of my stamina to revive myself."

She continues. "My power decreased by around fifty percent, I will heal with time, but it's dangerous for me to just wander around."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why? Is someone trying to hurt you?" If that's the case I don't mind lending a hand. Rika had clearly shown she's powerful.

She shakes her head. "Not really, normally I'm the one doing the hunting... But I don't feel super confident doing that when I'm not at a hundred percent."

I nod. "So is just a safety measure huh? I don't mind it, but you have to convince Rika somehow." Please manage to do that!

Arcueid looks at my ghost girlfriend. "Please let me stay here for a few days Rika! It's dangerous outside!"

Rika hesitantly nods. "Okay, but just because you apologized for having big tits." What kind of logic is that!? "And because I'm stronger than you, so you can't steal Yuta~."

Arcueid snorts. "Sure I'm weaker than you." She looks around. "This place is pretty cozy huh?"

She runs around the apartment while naked, giving me plenty of time to observe her sexy body.

It's all for science really, since Arcueid is clearly not human. It's only natural that I would take a look and try to spot any differences.

I wonder if she can reproduce with humans? Perhaps I should test that... Ah! I want her in my harem! That's it, I'm seducing her!

Rika glares at her. "Put on some clothes already, you're seducing Yuta!" She's not seducing me, she already seduce me! Her mission has been accomplished!

Arcueid pouts. "But all my clothing is in my hotel." Hah? "So I'll just have to stay naked for now, sorry."

I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean your hotel? Do you have a place to stay after all?" She better have a good excuse, because Rika's trembling with barely concealed rage.

Arcueid cutely hits her head. "Yep! One of my followers pays and organizes all my travels and stuff!"

Rika immediately shouts at her. "Then go to your hotel! Leave us alone!" Please don't leave us alone!

Arcueid pouts. "But I don't want to go outside naked! That's totally embarrassing!" You weren't complaining about it before.

Seriously, I'm fairly sure a bunch of my neighbors saw me bring Arcueid here. My reputation is probably going to take another hit.

Maybe they will think I brought a prostitute home? Nah, they won't. It's hard to think of Arcueid as anything, except for a princess.

But there's an interesting thing she just said. "Your followers? What do you mean by that?" I was thinking she was some sort of princess, but maybe she's actually a cult leader.

Arcueid smiles. "I'm a vampire!" I see, sensei warned us about them, according to her they are the scum of the world.

A dead apostle, the living dead, they are known as vampires, but it wouldn't be inaccurate to call them zombies as well.

They are beings of immense power that destroy town after town, so if Arcueid is one... "What are your intentions Arcueid?" She might not get to enter in my harem after all.

Rika gets into a combat position, she also received a bunch of lectures about dead apostles from sensei.

That isn't to say that I will kill Arcueid just for being a vampire of course, but I would like to know whether she intends to destroy this city.

For her beautiful boobs I could ignore a few deaths, but not thousands, specially since a bunch of people I care about live in this city.

Okay, a bunch of people Shiki cares about live in this city, but he's my friend, so I will obviously protect his loved ones.

Besides, Akiha Tohno may not know yet since she never met me, but there's a big invisible tattoo above her womb that reads property of Yuta Okkotsu! Sorry Shiki!

Arcueid grins. "My intentions are..." There's a dark look in her eyes. "To bring justice and love to this town!" Why am I suddenly imagining you as a magical girl.

I raise an eyebrow. "Elaborate please, you scared Rika."

Rika herself ends her fighting stance. "I wasn't scared! I would win!" Well, you did win once already.

Arcueid giggles. "Sorry, I am a vampire indeed, but I'm actually a true ancestor... But not just any true ancestor."

She puffs her naked chest. "I'm a true ancestor that hunts down other dead apostles! Also there's a dead apostle in this town." Ah! You should have started with that!

I raise a hand. "I don't know what a true ancestor is, also please puff your chest a little more."

Rika too raises a hand. "Yeah, I never heard of the term either! Also puff your chest less! Or even better go to your hotel already!"

Arcueid looks surprised. "You guys don't know what a true ancestor is!? That's like, super important knowledge!" Blame our sensei.

She then crosses her arms like a petulant child. "And I'm not going to my apartment! I'm staying here!" But why though!? I doubt you really care about being naked!

I sigh, ignoring the hotel debacle. "So what's a true ancestor Arcueid? And also, who's this dead apostle?"

She begins explaining. "Talking about what a true ancestor is would take ages, so let's just say that they are the progenitors of dead apostles."

She continues. "I'm one of the few remaining on the planet... Though I'm also a bit of an special case. I was created a long time ago to hunt down the dead."

I'm half expecting Arcueid to take out a white board. "You see... True ancestors hate dead apostles, and I'm the solution they came up with."

She looks down. "As for the dead apostle I'm currently hunting... Let's just say that they are very crafty and dangerous."

She nods to herself. "Tomorrow night I will restart my hunt for them, that's actually why I would like to ask for your help, I know tha-" I cut her off.

"It's fine, I understand the situation, and I don't mind lending a hand at all." This is my city after all.

Rika nods too. "This is the place where Yuta and I met... I won't let a bloodsucker taint that." You also died in this city, but okay!

Arcueid smiles. "Thank both of you! Normally I wouldn't involve other people, but... Rika is seriously strong, and I'm seriously weakened."

I give her a thumbs up. "That's great then, and I also have someone else in mind that can help us, killing the unkillable is his specialty after all."

Shiki will definitely want to help, this is his city too after all. His Mystic Eyes of Death Perception are also too useful to ignore.

Rika nods. "Oh! You're right, let's ask four eyes for help." Even so, we better not push him too hard, anemia and all that.

Arcueid just keeps smiling. "Well, I will trust any judgment you two make... If this 'four eyes' is anything like Rika then I'm sure he will help a lot."

Rika suddenly glares at her. "Now that everything is settled... Go back to your hotel!" For some reason I don't think she will just go home.

Arcueid shakes her head. "But it would be embarrassing! I'm naked! Will you really send a naked vampire to the streets!?"

I sigh. "If that's really such a big deal... Then just wear my clothes, you only need then to go home, so it should be fine even if they're made for guys."

Arcueid smirks. "Oh? You want me to wear your clothes? That sounds pervy." It is! She figured out my true intentions!

Well, she is naked, but I've kinda grown used to it at this point. Things tend to be sexier when they are unusual after all.

Arcueid then excitedly nods. "But if that's the only option then fine! Make sure to give me some cool ones!" Oh? She's taking my offer!?

Rika grits her teeth. "Absolutely no way! You can't touch Yuta's clothes! They're mine! They're ours!" Have you become a comrade Rika!?

Arcueid looks smug. "Then I guess I'm staying here! I can't just go around naked after all, I have class." You absolutely don't!

I give her a pitying look. "Arcueid be honest... Do you just want to stay here for the fun of it?" Is she lonely.

Arcueid's becomes completely red, but slowly she nods. "Y-yeah." Wow, I found an even bigger loser than me. "Can I stay with you guys?"

Rika sighs. "Sure... But you need to put on some clothes!" Oh? Did Rika really accept Arcueid so quickly?

I can understand why, the vampire is like an excited puppy. It's hard to reject her because of that, specially when she sounds so embarrassed.

Arcueid slowly nods. "It's fine, I can summon clothes when I want, it's pretty easy actually." Eh!?

I blink, and suddenly Arcueid is wearing a beautiful white dress. "See? Well, it's a bit uncomfortable, but it's pretty convenient." Now she actually looks like a princess.

I smile. "Well, you can sleep naked under a blanket, so sleeping should be no trouble." Sleeping while wearing a dress would suck after all.

Rika immediately glares at me. "Yuuuuuta! Don't encourage her! And don't be a pervert either!"

Arcueid gives me a wink. "You can be a little perverted if you want Yuta." Please don't say that in front of Rika!

My ghost girlfriend shifts her glare to the vampire. "You just don't learn...!" Ah! My future harem is fighting!

I raise my hands up. "Calm down Rika! She's goint to sleep in a separate futon of course! And we will sleep together like usual."

Rika takes a moment to respond, but she does nod. "Okay, then I guess it's fine." Did she really think I was going to sleep in the same bed as Arcueid.

Arcueid sighs. "Eh...? I was hoping to sleep on the same bed as you Yuta." When did I gain so many affection points!?

Before Rika can go back to wishing Arcueid a painful death my phone rings, it's ringtone silences the room.

I accept the call. "Hey, Yuta Okkotsu speaking." I didn't bother to check the number of the caller.

But I quickly recognize their voice. "Yo, it's me, Shiki." Ah, I was wandering if he was going to call me.

There's no way he didn't notice Rika burning the sky away with a fucking Dragon Ball beam after all.

I sigh. "Before you ask anything, yes it was us..." There's no point in hiding the obvious, because Shiki has seen the beam before.

It was a bit smaller at the time, but it's hard to forget it when it's pink. You see Rika tried to kill sensei with it once, it didn't work thankfully.

Shiki's tone is full of worry. "Is everything okay? Do you need my help?" Yes, surprisingly enough.

I try to make my voice sound comforting. "I'm fine, Rika and I got into a fight against a vampire, but she turned out to be a good guy." I ignore Arcueid making a peace sign in the background.

I can hear his gasp of surprise. "A vampire!? Like the ones sensei used to talk about!? That's bad...!"

I sigh. "I know, but it's fine, like I said, it was a misunderstanding." Though there really is a evil vampire in the city.

His voice sounds relieved. "So the city isn't in imminent danger? That's good, that's really good."

He continues, now sounding apologetic. "Ah, sorry that it took such a long time to call you, I couldn't find the time with Hisui hounding me."

I raise an eyebrow. "Hisui? Who's that?" I've never heard him mention that name before.

I can hear him sigh through the phone. "She's my personal maid... Yes, I have a personal maid." Lucky bastard!

I smirk. "Introduce her to me one of these days, I'll make her my personal girlfriend." I can hear Rika gritting her teeth and Arcueid giggling.

He sighs again. "Yeah, I definitely can't introduce you two to each other, or Hisui might die."

He continues. "She's afraid of men... Well, to be more specific she's afraid of men touching her, it gave me quite the scare."

I roll my eyes. "I'll have you know that I'm a decent human being, I won't touch a girl that has a phobia of that." Ignore the grooming allegations!

No, but seriously I'm not a idiot. If I'm trying to seduce a girl I obviously won't go around making her scared.

Though now that I think about it... Isn't it kind of mean to make her the personal maid of a guy? Then again, I guess she's not supposed to be touching Shiki.

Shiki immediately rebukes me. "No, I absolutely can't introduce you two... You're right that you wouldn't touch Hisui without her consent, but..."

He continues, his tone full of terror. "Meeting Hisui is a door that leads to meeting her sister, and if you ever meet Kohaku then the world might end."

Another name that I don't recognize, but I can only hope she's also a maid, just like her sister. For obvious reasons.

I make my tone as serious as possible. "By the way Shiki, I do have some bad news, and it's related to the vampire."

His tone also gets equally serious. "I see, please explain the situation."

I elaborate. "Remember the good vampire? Well, she's here hunting a bad vampire, sadly we have no idea in what part of the city he is."

I continue. "We are planning to start hunting the apostle tomorrow night, and I'm wondering if you would be willing to help."

He immediately responds. "Of course I wil! There's no way I'm letting some bloodsucker in my city!"

That's a relief. "Okay, but I will be working together with the good vampire... Your instincts might activate, so try to control yourself."

This time his answer takes longer to come out. "I'll try my best, thank you for warning me in advance." His instincts are always hard to control.

We have no concrete idea from where they came from, though they used to manifest around Rika a lot.

Sensei theorized that he is actually a descendant of a powerful demon hunter, like Ushi-Gozen for example.

I smile. "It's fine, by the way we are going to plan our strategy in your house." I came up with the idea just now!

Rika should be more lenient because we are hunting the vampire, so this could be my excuse to meet his sister without any negative consequences.

Shiki obviously disagrees. "No way-" But then he gets cut off by another voice.

"Oh! Who are you talking to Shiki!? Your secret girlfriend!? Okay then, I'm telling Lady Akiha." I can feel her incredible energy even from here.

The voice continues. "Okay Shiki! Let me talk with whoever you're talking to! My instincts are telling me I'll enjoy it!"

Shiki wails in despair. "No! I can't let you two meet! Even through a phone it might be too dangerous for the world!" And then he ends the call.

I give Arcueid and Rika a smile. "Okay then, I secured our help for tomorrow." Shiki was basically tailor made to hunt monsters, he will be super useful.

I continue. "So who's up for pizza tonight? Because I'm not cooking!" Also I want to make tonight fun for Arcueid. I don't know why, but I feel I have to.

Arcueid raise a hand. "I am! I super am!"

Rika raises a hand too. "That's a good idea Yuta~!"

Right now I can't help but think... Both my ghost girlfriend and my future vampire girlfriend are asking for pizza...

Am I the protagonist of a harem slice of life with supernatural elements!?

AN:Now I know I already have two active fics, but...

Anyways, the reason this fic escaped snippet hell is because I had a dream! A vision! A epiphany! I've awakened to a greater purpose!

Do you know those images where a waifu gets caught poking holes in a condom? Akiha/Hisui/Kohaku will do that.

Now I won't say which one of the three will do that, that's part of the mystery! Of the thrill!

I don't know in what chapter it will happen, but in the future I will write a scene of an embarrassed Akiha/Hisui/Kohaku getting caught poking holes in a condom, that is my oath.