Author's Notes (2)
Answering your questions and replying to your comments.
"Geo Soul chapter 3
Seems to me Lincoln and the other might feel some regret for disowning Luna"
In the beginning, yes, that was his feeling, but as we move forward, his patience, his frustrations just got the better of him. He regrets a lot of things, and disowning Luna, is probably one of them.
"Geo Soul chapter 6
Naturally they wanna beat up Luna for what she did but they also seem to just genuinely miss her in general my guess is they realized over the years Lynn sr wouldn't want them to hate her forever but given Luna's condition and if and when the Louds find out their guilt might make their situation worst"
They do, yes they do. It's one of the things about human nature. We are empathetic.
"Geo Soul chapter 7
Poor Luna she knows deep down she should go back to the Louds but hates herself too much and the Louds seem to feel that same way they deeply regret disowning Luna despite what she did and want her to come home but whether or not it's too late for either sides remains to be seen all I can guess is by the time it all goes down in the end tears are gonna be shed by The Louds By Luna and Possibly (If she comes back into the story after realizing how heartless she was to just abandon her) by Sam as well."
Sadly Sam isn't written in the story, sorry mate.
"Geo Soul chapter 10
Oh boy things are heating up"
Like a tanning bed.
"Geo Soul chapter 11
What a Crazy Nightmare but I feel it had to happen because Now Luna really can work to redeem herself in her eyes and I feel Lily is going to help her do so now One thing I'm curious about is Sam sure she's being a... well not sure if I can say that word in a Review but it starts with a C anyway Please make sure Sam gets Karma for her actions and her harsh words about Luna mainly because in numerous other stories similar to this Sam and Luna's other former band mates never get punished for abandoning Luna when she needed them"
She is a cunt yes, and you can say it. I left Sam's punishment a bit vague in the epilogue, I don't really want to go to into details about them. It's not central to the story, but yes, karma exist, she's a bitch, but bitches are usually pretty great if you train them.
"Geo Soul chapter 12
Poor Luna"
A bit.
"Mr png chapter 12
Omg they're fucking hilarious especially Lincoln and Lori I fucking Loved it the story is great"
I try to give some moments for the, it's mostly just filler to change the mood a bit. I'm glad you loved it. Thank you. Even though my humour is dry as hell.
"Geo Soul chapter 13
I'm curious are we going to get a flashback that shows the Louds Missing Luna?"
IF (Big IF) I rewrite this, I might add it. But, I don't think that'll happen anytime soon, sorry about that.
"Mr png chapter 14
Am I the only one who's looking for Lincoln and Lori's part"
I don't know, you tell me. winks.
"Geo Soul chapter 14
Sweet chapter the Loud reunion is almost here"
Best taste I can do is bitter gourd.
"Mr png chapter 15
This one was interesting"
Thanks! Glad to have you with us.
"Geo Soul chapter 15
Something tells me that this is the Calm before the storm"
Absolutely.
"Nyssian chapter 15
This is a really good story so far, it's a shame it doesn't get more attention. I think that all of the vacillating and second-guessing/etc might be a little drawn out at this point, but then again that might be more true to life, and just the frustration of suspense in general."
I don't mind not getting attention, but yes, the vacillating is a major problem. I tried to make it realistic and I failed to consider the literacy factor. It is no a little drawn out, its absolutely, horrendously, painfully, drawn out. It's a problem really. A very huge one. The suspense of life, is well present, but that's evading the point. It's supposed to be a story, not a chore. A story is a message conveyor belt, but if that belt decided to do loop-de-loops all over the bloody place, it'll be inefficient. Much like the way the story went. Inefficiently. I don't have any defence for the party-jumpings. IT is a failed attempt of realism.
"Geo Soul chapter 16
The reunion is almost here"
TA DA! It's here now!
"Mr png chapter 16
Don't you think it's time for some action?"
Yes.
"Geo Soul chapter 21
Damn so that's how it ends huh? Kinda confused about ending did Luna die? Did Lincoln get out of jail? What happened to the other louds did Luna reconcile with them?"
Yeah, that's how it ended. No Luna did not die. Luna was there with Lily at Lynn Loud Sr.'s graveyard. It is a bit vague, but I suppose that was the point. On what happened to the Louds and whether or not they reconciled. They did reconcile, that's why Luna and Lily is going with the rest of the family to fetch Lincoln from the state penitentiary. Other than that, I'm leaving it up for you guys to think about.
"Mr png chapter 17
He just said, "Fuck it! Let's post it all!""
Fuck yeah! (she though)
"Mr png chapter 20
Fuck, man! You're a pretty good writer. I'll tell you what."
THANKS! I'm glad you liked it.
"Nyssian chapter 21
For what it's worth, even if you aren't happy with the result, this has still been a much more interesting story than anything else on here in the past like, year or so. Kudos for actually finishing it. I think that I was also a little dissatisfied with the way it started going about halfway through and then ended, because you had all the makings of a kind of odyssey, a literal one with the subplot road trip but more importantly a spiritual one with the main plot. Luna's initial quasi-suicidal attitude was memorable and pretty funny, and had it kept up could've been a good resource for any number of resolutions, catastrophic moments, opportunities for reconsideration and new hope, etc. And while you set up the internal drama really well, I don't know that it really went anywhere in particular, had any real test or encounter; while there was a lot of going back and forth on Luna's part, the whole last sequence of fights just sort of started and ended really suddenly. One of the best parts of this story was the tension between the two converging plotlines, but the cashout was dramatic in the wrong sort of way for a redemption story. Basically there was a way to resolve the drama internally in Luna's mind and externally with the subplot of her siblings coming to find her and her encounter with them, and I'm not sure either one really cashed out. As far as the ending goes, while a five year time skip for an epilogue is fine, it also skipped over all the emotional development that surely must have happened in the meantime. I mean, a huge part of the story was overcoming guilt about irresponsibility and waywardness, and while there's some degree of that in this story with Lily, I didn't see Luna really deal in real time with the original problem, how she abandoned her father; we just see that she did at some point by the end. Anyway, there might be more I could say, but I'll stop myself there; I think that despite the issues I see, it's still better written (both in style and in having only fairly minor problems in grammar & the basics) than most things posted on this site, so just take what notes you can and bring your experience to the next project."
I really really appreciate your insight. Thank you! I'm glad that you agree with my opinion, the ending is a bit, wait no. Not a bit. The ending is astronomically shite. I tried to make it an odyssey that's nice, but half way through, like around Chapter 15+ I got slapped by this ping pong paddle of depression. The amount of loose ends is also quite a lot. I know the root problem is just me loosing interest in the project altogether, but I didn't want to just abandon it. So I rushed it all, that's my downfall. There is too much going on. The last sequence is by far one of the biggest things I hate. IT WASN'T MADE WITH LOVE. It was the desperate desire to revive a dying interest. The main issue wasn't really addressed at the end, and the fast forward just made it worse. It is a very badly written story. I might upload an update on a different set of ending, much like 28 Days Later. But then again, I really don't want to defile a corpse. I'm probably just going to end this story here. Again, thank you for your insights, I will hold your words to heart going forward!
Bloopers!
(I somehow saved a few)
Chapter 5
Cut dialogues. Not central to the story.
"Even if Lily's not with her, 3 out of 4 runaways return after a week, and we're still just barely passed that one week mark." Lisa said.
"Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go," Lincoln grabbed his jacket.
"What if she decided to go East instead of West, we'll be spread thin," Luan voiced her concerns, but no one batted an eye.
Chapter 7
Scrapped story path. Would've led to a different ending, one much less enjoyable.
Emily turned her head, and she saw me. Her face turned from joyful, to worried in a second. She got out of the counter and she rushed at me. "Are you alright baby? Are you okay?" She asked, she sounded like a mom. She sat me down on a booth, and grabbed tissues from the counter. I waved her off, but she came and wiped the snot and tears from my face. I tried to protest but she's too strong, or I'm just weak. "Luna, what happened?" She asked.
"It's fine, I just smoked some weed," I said. My head felt so dizzy. "I'll just sleep it off, Lily, let's go home," I said. I feel really irritated for some reason.
"Luna, get your life together," Emily said as she stood up. She grabbed a glass of water and she gave it to me. "You're still young, you can't just burn your life away with drugs. Look at all the nice things in the world," She's annoying me right now. I really don't want to get nagged. Please shut up, I don't want to scream at you Emily. "Luna, if you don't fix your life by the end of the year, you're gonna meet a very bad 30's" Please shut it Emily. I don't want to shout at you. "And if you don't fix-" I snapped. I can't forgive myself for that.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled. I saw her shook. Fuck. I'm sorry. The bikers looked at me. Fuck. I was about to run out the door when one of the bikers pulled me by the arm. "LET ME GO!" I yelled as I pulled. I pulled and pulled and pulled. I wasn't ready for when the grip was finally loosened. I fell. I hit my head on the curb. I heard the thunderous sky crying. I want to run. Fuck. I stood up. One step. Shit. I fell. I felt water running down my head. I touched it and I looked at my hand. Blood. Fuck. I don't have the time for this. I crawled. I want to run.
"LUNA GET BACK HERE!" Emily cried as she picked me up. Fuck. "LUNA, YOU'RE BLEEDING!". I don't know what's going on with me. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't even control my emotions. I can't do anything. Why am I still alive? My vision started to blur, am I going to die now?
Upcoming fanfiction projects
1. They Can See You (Targeted release is in June 2024.)
- Genre: Horror
The story follows the Loud family (Pre-season 5) in a Conjuring-esque paranormal horror story. It's going to be ambitious, the quality would probably be shite, but I'm gambling. I don't care. It's gonna be horror. The branch story starts with them moving to a new house when Lynn Loud Sr's restaurant boomed. They moved to a ranch house near Royal Woods, 15 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms. It's a large house, I'm not gonna say much. But to put it simply, it's the Conjuring, but with a few different shit. I mean, it's like most American horror movies, it follows the same flow chart. Story is planned to be from Lincoln's point of view.
Family, big, happy as fuck. (goes to) New House (finds out) New House Haunted (Runs) Oh no, they are cursed by a witch/ eldritch being/ a cult/ multiple cults/ satanists/ et cetera. (finds priest) Priest gets wrecked (Love Prevailed) Happy Ending. WOOHOO!
That's practically it. As far as you're concerned.
2. The Dead Don't Bleed (Still in planning, might be released after They Can See You, or before, depending on future updates)
- Genre: Horror
Broad idea of the story is zombies. They run. They're in London. It's gonna be like 28 Days Later. That's it. Story is planned to be from Lily's point of view.
Before I go
I need to address this. My friend told me some things about criticisms and how some authors here don't accept them or just don't respond to them well. I just want to tell you guys that I would love to receive criticisms. It helps me a lot. So please, don't be afraid to criticise the choices I made, the writing style, anything. I don't mind it really, I welcome it even. I may not reply to the comments immediately, but I will have these end of story pages where I reply to you guys. Again, thank you for reading. And I hope we could improve ourselves together (You lots are helping me actually).
Anyways, I hope you guys have a lovely January, happy belated new year, merry belated Christmas, and happy be-earlied Chinese new year. Tscüss!
*bows and hits head on table again*