Merry Xmas ya filthy animals!

Chapter 6: "No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal." - Bill Cosby

The gathering took place in a secluded real estate outside of Townsville, so there was a road trip to get there. Buttercup assumed the Morebucks-Harrington's chose the place just to make everyone's lives harder.

The brunette yawned, helping the boy hop out of the Uber car, only to be welcomed by a stern warning.

"You're late."

"Good morning to you too, Bloss. Damn."

The group had agreed to meet somewhere in the middle, to figure which kid was going with who. The main issue was not the seven adults and two teenagers, but how to comfortably accommodate three small kids on the way there and figuring out which adult was willing to sacrifice alcohol to drive the way back. There was also an unspoken agreement between Buttercup, Blossom, and Mike that they had to stop Bubbles from driving at all costs.

"I had to stop, Mikey! I saw the prettiest butterfly! What? Hum. Yes, we were on the 405. Yes, Mikey, the Interstate 405, in Cali. Huh, yes... I know why they call it "Carmageddon", I'm not dumb. Ok, Mikey. I get it, I get it, it's the country's busiest highway but that butterfly was the prettiest ever! I had to show it to the kids, it's not my fault the other cars didn't... Mikey, that's fake news. The policemen told me that might've been the largest pileup that ever happened on the West Coast, not in the country. "

"Hey there!" Blossom smiled, squatting to the same eye level as the kid holding Buttercup's hand, "I don't think we've met before! I'm Blossom. What's your name?"

The boy sleepily stared at the floor.

Buttercup scoffed, "Same." Blossom simply scowled at her, "Babysitter chickened out."

"Why?"

"Watched The Exorcist on Friday..." Buttercup mumbled, "Now she's afraid of the color green."

Blossom frowned, "Oh."

"Yeah, what a pussy, right." Blossom glared at the woman again. Buttercup simply stared back, noticing her sister's midi slip dress... and heels. She smirked, "Need help getting up, grandma?"

Blossom took a deep breath, pushing her palms against her knees to help herself up.

"Funny."

Yes, she was having trouble standing back up, but Buttercup did wonders for motivation. Plus, it was a matter of balance, not physical ineptitude.

"Worth it, though. You look good."

Blossom patted her ponytail, tied in a tiny red ribbon, "You don't look so bad yourself."

Buttercup shrugged cockily, "I rock pantsuits and green like I'm the Mask, what can I say?"

"And your hair!" The redhead raised her eyebrows, "I've never seen it done like that... Or at all."

The brunette grinned. Yes, she had meticulously pulled a few strands back in a mini bouffant because guess what? There wasn't one, but three strands of white hair poking out of her pitch-black head. Not that she cared about it, she just hated being reminded of the passage of time in a world where policewomen expired at the age of forty.

"What about Jacque?" Buttercup asked, desperate to change subjects, "She agreed to shower?"

Blossom sighed in defeat, "You know how she is."

"...And who she's with."

The redhead looked down the street, "Speaking of the devil... here come his sons, and granddaughter."

Buttercup gaped at the jeep driving in their direction, letting out an impressed whistle, "That's theirs? I guess crime does pay off."

Blossom dropped her eyelids, "Buttercup, you don't even have a driver's license."

"Out of principle!" The brunette hissed, "'Cuz I can fly, but I'm not allowed to. Fuck's sake, can't I appreciate nice cars?"

"What's up Buttercuuuup!?"

Buttercup growled, slowly turning around to see Butch's torso sticking out of the car's sunroof.

He waved wildly, "Damn, this feels good! Fuck. So glad I'm not a loser that... wait... is that..." Butch squinted at the little green boy holding Buttercup's hand.

"Butch..." Brick groaned, leaving the driver's seat, "Stop fucking around."

Butch slowly pointed at the boy, "Is that...?"

Buttercup blinked, "He's Ace's family. What, did you figure it out on your own-"

"Ew! How did that happen!" The man nearly gagged, "He isn't like, old enough to be your dad? Wait, wasn't Ace a pedo back in the day?"

"Knock it off, idiot." Buttercup snarled, "He's Ace's sister's son. I picked him up at the police station."

Brick seized the brunette up and down and threw Blossom a funny look, "What, he was up for grabs?"

Blossom imperiously cleared her throat, "There is a legal loophole..." The man slightly dropped his eyelids at her lawyer posh talk, "But we couldn't have done it without Bubbles' social work background." She shrugged, before something inside the car caught her attention, "...Girls?" The redhead lightly knocked on the window.

Jacquotte moaned, rubbing her eyes before nudging a sleepy Michelle.

"Yo..." The teenager moaned, hopping out, "Can't we wait inside?" She glanced over the man next to Michelle, "I mean, the brand-new uncle I got yesterday seems to be-"

"Jacque... You look so pretty!" Blossom squealed excitedly at her daughter, dressed up for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Moooom...!" The kid groaned, with a typical 'stop you're embarrassing me' eye roll.

The mother didn't seem to mind as she opened a wide-mile smile at Jacquotte wearing the romper she had suggested. Even more stunningly, the girl had her hair brushed, styled into a thick braid. "You're wearing... And..." Blossom fought the urge to touch it, "Oh, my Goodness, how did you, who did...?"

The girl lightly touched the top of her orange head, "Michelle can braid, and I'm using Brick's hair stuff." She stated, "He said my hair looks crazy 'cuz I use your stuff."

Brick swallowed, "...K, good. Where's Bubbles and Mike? Boomer can go with them, he's always a pain in the-"

"Wait, what's wrong with my hair products?" Blossom cocked her head, throwing the man a look. Any enchantment over her dressed-up teenager daughter seemed to vanish. Brick cleared his throat, lightly pulling his collar as he averted his gaze.

"He said they don't work on me because you have flat, limp hair and I have his, quote-unquote, luscious, thick mane."

"What!?" Blossom hissed.

"Oh, and he also said you are jealous of his hair since forever." Jacquotte stated, blankly turning to Brick, "Did I miss something?" The man narrowed his eyes at her, before turning to a fuming Blossom, and a giggling Buttercup.

"Hate to admit, he's got a point, Bloss..." The glare the brunette received made her pale, and take a step back, "...Ok. Maybe not."

For both Brick's and Buttercup's luck, Blossom's phone started ringing. She briefly threw the two adults a menacing glare before picking up the call.

"Bubbles, you're late."

"Whoa!" Mike exclaimed, "We're on our way, boss. I was just... taking care of a few things."

"Things? What things-"

"...Bubbles can't find her driving license."

"She... oh. Oh, I see."

"Yes, exactly. Glad you understand... It's ok, baby! I'm sure we'll find it... later." Mike swallowed down the guilt, "We are on our way."

It was a harmless lie. Indeed, much less harmful than Bubbles behind a steering wheel.

Blossom approached the table with a grin, "Gentlemen..."

Butch and Boomer exchanged glances as they snickered, childishly nudging each other.

"You fuckin' idiots!"

The woman sighed, turning around.

To say Brick was mad was an understatement, he was furious, face as red as his eyes, growling and fuming like a dragon.

The morons had really shown up there just to tease him, hadn't they?

Blossom blankly stepped towards the table before putting a palm on top of it. Butch nearly burst with joy when she leaned over as if the waitress couldn't see he was looking down her top.

"Yo, pinkie... I think we're ready to order..." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at Boomer before both snickered in unison at an impossibly furious Brick.

Like the Powerpuff was just gonna let slide.

"Let me guess." She stated in a nonchalant tone, "You want chicken breasts? Because it's one of your favorite things, and you don't even like chicken."

The brothers silently sat back, exchanging deadpanned stares. Boomer gave Butch a look as if to encourage him. The raven-haired man cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak, but Blossom cut him off.

"And nuts appetizer... and you want to know if I like nuts in my mouth." The waitress asked, unimpressed.

The two brothers awkwardly looked down at the table as the redhead raised an eyebrow, looking from one to the other, "Good. Anything else?"

Boomer meekly glanced at her, "Huh, may we have two beers... please... ma'am?"

Blossom grinned, writing down their orders, "Sure. I'll have them ready. Bear in mind, boys, I've heard every joke and pun to be made in the first month working here. So, if you think you thought of something original or remotely funny to say to me..." She looked down at them, "No, you didn't. Understood, boys?"

The men slowly glanced at each other, before looking back down at the table. Something about the way Brick's chick pronounced 'boys' felt immensely emasculating.

Blossom turned to her partner who was... yes, furious, but not as close to committing homicide as before.

"I said I don't need your protection, Brick. Now, go sit down. I have other tables to attend."

"What!" Brick nearly barked, "What the fuck, you expect me to just sit down while you parade-"

"It's either that or you can leave." Blossom cut him off with a deep voice, and a steel glare, "Go. Sit. Down."

Somehow, the optimal driving arrangement resulted in Brick, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup in the same car. After Brick took charge of driving, Buttercup, and Bubbles - two fully grown women - zoomed to the backseat, amidst giggles.

Blossom had simply crossed her arms, as if she were scolding two children, "Really? Really, you two?"

"Come on, I was basically exchanged for freakin' Butch, lemme have fun!" Buttercup had protested, referring to the green-skinned kid's instant likeness to the brunette made sure nobody forgot about it for the rest of the drive.

"I can't believe the little shit just followed him!" Buttercup complained, "After everything we've been through. I make him pancakes! That ungrateful little green shit."

Bubbles glanced over, tiredly, "Buttercup, he's six..." The blonde stated with a sigh, moments before turning ahead to Blossom, "Hm, Bloss, by the way, I have an extra cardigan in my bag in case you need it." She offered for the nth time that day, "You know, just remember-"

Blossom faked a smile, "Thanks again, Bubbles. I know."

Brick rolled his shoulder with a crack, "Don't think you will need it, gonna be hot as balls today."

Blossom threw her counterpart a look of disapproval, but agreed nonetheless, "Well, yes, Brick... today is going to be a real scorcher. It was all over the weather channel."

Bubbles bit down her lip, "It's not really about-"

"Shit, this is the place?" Buttercup cut her off, jumping on her seat, "Damn... So much for casual."

Bubbles shrugged, "She always does this."

The spandex panties she had decided to wear were already making her feel uneasy, and the heels were extremely uncomfortable. The blonde looked nowhere as excited as Buttercup, but not as unimpressed as Blossom.

"Show-off..."

"You think?" Brick threw Blossom a smirk, "What's up with all the gold? I've seen rappers with better taste than that."

Blossom had to cover her mouth and look away to stop herself from laughing aloud.

Brick simply grinned, "It's the truth, babe."

The adults left their cars to be parked by the valet service and were instructed to follow a jolly, robotically smiling hostess towards the two-story colonial-style estate.

"Madam Morebucks-Harrington takes extra precautions when it comes to gatherings." She beamed at the group, "It's protocol, to preserve the Harrington's privacy. Mrs. Believe is familiar with such precautions."

Bubbles grinned, feeling whatever energy she had melt inside her skull, and drip down her ears, "I sure am, Denise." Blossom, Buttercup, and Brick threw her weird looks, "The twins like Princess's son, and... so does every other kid... and their parents. I think Princess invites Mike and me out of obligation."

"Aaaw, so kind!" Buttercup cooed sarcastically, "I am truly happy you are harvesting meaningful, genuine friendships, sis."

The blonde threw her a dark look, "Like you really think Commissioner Leeds' jokes are funny."

Buttercup shrugged, "He's a dino, not a psycho."

"Princess isn't-"

"Bubbleeeees!"

The heiress had opened a wide smile when she spotted a pair of blonde pigtails... more observant eyes would've spotted the malice dripping out of that smile.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so happy you could come!" The heiress chirped, giving the blonde phantom kisses on the cheek, "And I see you've brought company..."

Blossom puffed up her chest, "We couldn't have possibly turned down your invitation... Right?"

"Oh yeah." Brick cleared his throat, "Sure."

Princess smirked, "Butch and Boomer arrived not long ago. I will love to hear what you three have been up to in the last..." The woman turned to Blossom with a smirk, "How old is Jake again, sweetie?"

"Same as Chance." Blossom retorted sharply.

"Of course. So odd. I saw her, and you just can't make her wear a dress, can you?" The heiress cocked her head, "When I saw her in pants with that... friend. Mitch's daughter. I was almost impressed by your bravery."

Blossom and Brick exchanged glances as if they could read each other's minds.

'Hypocritical rich bitch.'

"I mean..." Princess kept going, "I don't have a daughter, but I would never allow it. But you? You're so brave, Blossom! You're just not afraid of giving people the wrong idea!"

Bubbles and Buttercup looked at each other with wide eyes, as Blossom glared at the heiress in silence. A dangerous silence.

"Whoa. Whoa." Brick interjected with a raised hand, "Reminder. I'm here, too. Jacque got her dad's swag, she looks cool. So... what wrong idea would that be, Princess? 'Cuz if it is what I'm thinking, I'll say you were giving everyone all the wrong ideas back in the day, senior year, with those three-"

"Ok, everyone!" Buttercup cut the man off, with a wide, fake smile. "Enough chit-chat! Where's the bar?"

Princess scrunched her nose, "The waiters are serving drinks, but if you must... It's all the way across the main hall. Knock yourself out." Her eyes fell on Blossom, "Sweetie, if I were you, I'd cover up those shoulders. There are married men here, you won't want to distract anyone."

Blossom aggressively smoothed the cardigan with a glare, "I can't believe it..."

Bubbles pursed her lips, "Come on, I know it's not the most pristine, but it's something!" She pointed out, "Beggars can't be choosers, Bloss."

"It's not... about that, Bubbles." The redhead sighed, taking a glass of prosecco from a passing waiter, "It's the fact I need it at all."

Buttercup snorted on her bloody mary, "But Blossom! You ought to cover those scandalous shoulders!" She gasped sarcastically, "Golly, I wish I could put on a dress! I'm giving all these upstanding gentlemen the wrong idea!"

Princess had done the ''favor" of inviting her closest 1% friends as if breathing the same air as them was a privilege for anyone else. Unfortunately, the parents were eating it up for the sake of (maybe) networking with the filthy rich.

"How long until they realize billionaires aren't looking to network with suburbia?" Buttercup asked, darting her eyes left and right.

"Buttercup!" Bubbles swiftly slapped her sister's arm.

"What? It's the truth." Buttercup shrugged, "Now, excuse me, I have a little green piece of shit... And a 6-foot-tall piece of shit... to find."

"You should've done that as soon as we got here!" Blossom scolded at her sister's retreating back, "That child with Butch, of all people!"

"Whatever, you two have your own pieces of shit to find." Buttercup snorted over her shoulder.

Bubbles frowned, "Mike's not a..."

"Bubbles, she meant Boomer," Blossom muttered, sipping her drink.

"Oh? Well. Same! He's the nice RowdyRuff. Plus, he's with Mikey..." The blonde trailed off, longingly staring at a passing waiter.

What were those, mimosas? She loved mimosas. Maybe they were the best mimosas money could buy...

Bubbles darted quick glances to her sides. Maybe she could sneak one or two before-

"Bubs! Here you are!"

The pig-tailed woman exhaled. Too late.

A drop of alcohol and she would hear snarky remarks for weeks: 'Wow, do you drink in front of your kids?' 'I stopped drinking as soon as we decided to have a baby, it's just a bad example.' 'Actually, it's biologically proven moms should be the ones that set good role models for children.' 'Did you know this new study shows that kids raised in alcoholic environments are 75% more likely to become opioid addicts?'

"Stacy!" She faked a smile as the woman pulled her into a hug, "Hiii..."

Blossom cocked her head, thinking she'd seen this woman somewhere.

'STACY BOLLYN IS TOWNSVILLE BEST SELLING AUTHOR WITH 'HOW TO RAISE YOUR KIDS: THE RIGHT WAY', AND 'HEALTHY MOM, HEALTHY KID.' YOU CAN LEARN MORE ABOUT HER NEWEST WORK, 'HEALTHY MARRIAGE THE RIGHT WAY' BY VISITING HER WEBSITE, STACYBOLLYNCOACH-DOT-COM.'

The redhead groaned inside. Local news. That's where she knew her from. She watched Bubbles be pulled into hugs by two other women before turning to her.

"...And this is my sister, Blossom. Blossom, this is Stacy, Mary, and Jane. Their kids go to Pokey Oaks kindergarten too."

The introduction brought her back to earth, and Blossom swiftly shook her head, "Oh, hello!" She extended a hand to Stacy with a polite smile, "Nice to meet you."

Stacy simply stared at the hand and gave the woman a tight-lipped smile, "Nice to meet you, too. Formally, at least." She slowly seized the redhead up and down, "I believe my eldest, Jason, goes to the same school as your Ja... Jackie?"

Blossom swallowed, slowly drawing the hand back, "Jacque." She grinned, "Well, her name is Jacquotte, but we call her Jacque. It is a rather unusual name, that's... that's on her father."

It was on both. Brick came up with the idea, told Blossom about all the history of the iconic fearless female pirate, and Blossom was sold.

The author's gaze burnt into Blossom's, "I see." She stated, dryly.

Bubbles, always the social butterfly, tried mending the situation.

"Oh, wow! I didn't know that!" She chirped, darting a worried gaze back and forth between an astonished Blossom and an icy Stacy. Mary and Jane simply exchanged knowing glances, "How come you two have never met before?"

Blossom faked a giggle, "Yes! I know, right. You said your son's name is Jason? Is that Jason Boyle... Bollen?" The redhead feigned confusion, as if she'd never heard of this Stacy person in her life, "I think I've met your husband, Jim?"

"You did." Stacy cocked her head, squinting with a pause, "... I saw you on the news just the other day."

"Oh, oh, on the pier, right!?" Bubbles exclaimed, excitedly clutching at whatever she could to salvage this interaction. Stacy nodded with a grin, "D'aaaaw! Well, you know, that's how it is. Once a Powerpuff, always a-"

"Those were very tight shorts." Stacy cut Bubbles off, dry as a desert.

The sisters froze and exchanged glances.

"...Maybe you should pick up my book, 'The Mommy Guide' sometime." Stacy suggested, seizing the redhead up and down once more, "There is a whole chapter dedicated to tasteful mom attire."

"Wow, your friend has such a way with kids..."

Mike nodded curtly at Jessica, whose toddlers went to the same kindergarten as the twins.

Boomer was playing with the kids and the other kids. They loved him, it was like honey and a swarm of bees. Except the bees were hyperactive brats that only seemed to calm down at whatever sound Boomer made.

Like right now.

Boomer sat down, playing the ukulele (which Mike had no idea where he got from) and singing in a foreign language to the kids. The toddlers calmed down and were peacefully sat on the grass, watching him with starry eyes, forming a sea of cute, childish smiles and puffy red cheeks.

...Surrounded by islands of different mom groups gaping at Boomer, like he was a demi-god.

And yeah, well, Mike was man enough to admit his friend was looking good. Tanned, muscular, and... he just had to fold his button-up sleeves to show off the exotic, tribal, wife-stealing tattoos he got while living a life that was soo much more interesting than-

Mike held his breath and exhaled.

No, that was not him speaking, he wasn't like that. Or so he liked to think.

When Mike saw Boomer at the airport, he noticed the blonde had changed a lot from the lanky guy he knew from high school, but as soon as Bubbles began staring at him with her mouth wide open, Mike wished they'd never met their friend again.

The brunette wanted to be the bigger person, but how can he compare to his wife's literal counterpart. Maybe he could if they'd met in another time... Maybe Mike wouldn't feel that way. He'd feel threatened, but not that bad.

Boomer seemed to be a pitch-perfect picture of all things Mike lacked, especially as of late.

Pressure at work, and taking care of the twins were bad enough, but the recent pressure to make a third baby was weighing on his and Bubbles' shoulders.

As far as Mike was concerned, Bubbles and he had never been sex-crazed: vanilla fantasies, two positions besides missionary, Mike managed to find the clitoris when they were in college... that had been enough so far.

But now, sex had become a duty.

They were a couple in their mid-thirties, clock ticking, and Mike knew had a mission whenever Bubbles said she was ovulating. Yes, they tried to do it every single time but... life happens. Some days he'd be super tired, other days Bubbles would be exhausted, sometimes all Mike wanted was to lay in bed, and watch Discovery Channel... other times all Bubbles wanted was to put on granny pants and watch Discovery Channel with him.

Long story short, he felt his marriage lacked so much excitement the couple couldn't even get themselves motivated to make a baby, which was supposed to be the most fun part.

Meanwhile, Boomer's life had everything but a lack of excitement. He looked like he could keep women in a constant state of awe and joy, with a high sex drive.

"Oh my God..." Mary's eyebrows nearly reached her hairline, "... who's that?"

"Oh, that's Boomer!" Bubbles chirped from behind the woman as she followed, scanning the area for the chance to sneak one of those great-looking mimosas, "He's our friend, and we... Mikey, did Boomer bring that ukulele with him?"

Princess had the tip of her long, straight nose buried in the large wine glass as she looked up to the group conversation. Despite being welcomed with open arms in aristocracy, her mannerisms of sticking her nose up in the air and tilting her head down while looking up during gossip conversations were impossible to erase.

"Can you believe, silk? In a formal gathering, with men and young boys around?"

Princess chuckled over her glass of prosecco, "I'm pretty sure that's cheap satin, actually."

In theory, gossiping with suburban moms was not an aristocratic behavior... But how else was she supposed to show the Powerpuff girls she'd won? She didn't need Chemical X anymore. They were adults, and she could just use money, and rumors to destroy their lives.

The heiress's snarky comment elicited murmurs from the group before Mary continued, "Please, I mean, I know Tom, and I trust him..." The group vividly nodded along, "But she should think of the kids!"

"Oh, tell me about it," Margot Bonanza loudly stated from the top of her 5-foot-tall height, "It's so hard keeping my Billy innocent. I just don't want him to grow up too fast, he's just a kid! She has no business parading around in a gown."

"And did you see the other one...?"

"Oh, that's the aunt." Suzie waved her hand, "My lacrosse team used to compete against hers in High School. Yes, the brunette. She's a bad example to the girl... Jack?"

Margot raised her brows, "Oh, is it?"

"Didn't you see her?" The woman whispered, "She's the one in a pantsuit..." She trailed off, as if insinuating something, "The girl is wearing a romper... never been too keen of dresses. Much like her aunt."

The group of moms placed the tip of her fingers over their agape mouths as they stared into each other.

"That girl never had a chance..." Margot sighed, "With a family like that... I mean, the blonde is married, right? Nice family?"

"Oh yes." Princess murmured, watching the other women fall in silence as their queen bee spoke, "The Believe's are a good, well-adjusted family." She sighed, "...On the outside."

Mary perked her head, "What do you mean?" She asked, "The girls and I, we just ran into Bubbles... She was trying so hard with the other one. The one with the shorts? In the news?"

"Blossom. Jack's mom."

Margot and Suzie scoffed in unison.

"Of course."

"Always."

"Oh, Bubbles is a delight. She can host a barbecue like no one..." The heiress complimented, before pulling the blonde's rug, "I just think it's so weird how they've been planning on having a third kid... But it's been soo long since she mentioned it."

Mary mouth went agape, "Do you guys think...?"

Princess shrugged, "We're all moms, we know how it can be easy to have another baby if both parents are healthy... But you'd have to be trying." She smirked suggestively, before walking away.

That was enough.

The chatter increased in volume and speed. Princess smirked to herself, knowing the whispers would spread like wildfire: Buttercup is in the alphabet mafia, Blossom is a slut (duh), and rumors suggested the Believe's sex life was waning. Maybe Princess could spin the latter to "their marriage is in shambles" or even, "Mike has a mistress."

The heiress (turned English royalty by marriage proxy) scanned the large salon. The event had the most elegance these hillbillies had ever seen. Her 1% friends would praise her for being so humble, letting her children attend public schools.

Nothing could make this better.

Her deep brown eyes spotted a familiar face. As soon as she recognized it, a grin crept up her face.

It'd definitely get better.

Brick looked around with a hand on his pocket, a glass of scotch in another, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't even say it felt like high school because he fit in the bad boy stereotype like a glove. It was there, waiting for him since the very first day of freshman year.

Now, this...?

Why were so many women in party dresses, while half of the men wore cargo shorts and the other half, suits? His super hearing had only managed to pick up small talk about golf, eco-friendly diapers, and the stock market.

What the hell is a 'doge'?

It was helpless.

Brick scratched the smooth skin on his chin. He'd tried to clean up nicely, shaved his beard, hair in a ponytail, white button-up, and black slacks. An upstanding, perfectly average citizen... that didn't know what to do with himself.

He took the last sip of his drink and walked out to the property's wide, back garden. Brick looked around, patting his pockets as he found a spot a few yards away, under a shadow provided by a century-old, large tree.

It wasn't exactly hidden, but it wasn't out in the open.

He sighed, picking a cigarette out of the pack before igniting a flame with a click of his fingers. He'd briefly told Boomer he would quit, hence the secrecy. Not that Brick cared, he just didn't want a blonde hippie talking his ears off over having 'the dumbest addiction in the world, dude.'

'Dude, nicotine doesn't even give you a buzz, man. It doesn't open your third eye, you should try shrooms.'

"Bro, you haven't lived until you inject liquid chicken in your eyeballs, man..." Brick mumbled in a mocking voice, "Fuck outta here, Boomer."

"Give me one."

The man nearly jumped as he turned around to see a pair of pink-colored eyes staring at him.

"Jesus Christ, woman! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Blossom hissed at him, "Be quiet!" She shot a look over her shoulder before pointing her chin at his cigarette, "Just give me one."

Brick squinted, "...Are you hiding?"

The woman drawled a breath, "Buttercup and I quit together as a new year's resolution."

"Looks like she's the only one quitting."

"She needs to, she's in law enforcement!" Blossom snapped, stretching her fingers, "Now, will you please put a cigarette between these fingers?"

The man chuckled, doing as he was told before igniting another tiny flame for Blossom. She took a long drag, before exhaling whatever air - and tension - was in her lungs.

"...Having fun?"

The woman rolled her eyes. She hated the thought of venting out to Brick, but as she'd been told, 'beggars can't be choosers.' Plus, he looked like he was having a tough time fitting in, too.

Hard to imagine Brick would have trouble fitting in anywhere, but here we were.

"How come I had a tough time in school because I followed the dress code, but I'm having a tough time now when there are no dress codes?" Brick bent over with a laugh, to which Blossom scowled, "I'm serious!"

"People are hypocrites, babe." Brick shrugged over another drag, "Did you just realize that?"

The woman took a long drag. It was not the usual 'you should cover up/you are a prude for covering up' hypocrisy from adolescence, it was 'Beth Bonanza hinted she had her current body because she could date rich men to pay for cosmetic procedures.'

But Brick didn't need to know that.

"Some parents are mean." Blossom shrugged, averting her gaze, "Not all, but... I wasn't expecting that."

The man raised an eyebrow, "First time in this... type of function?"

The mom almost burst out laughing.

Blossom had decided from day one she was not going to be an absent mom. She was there to pick Jacque up at school, practices, to attend parent-teacher meetings, to attend Pokey Oaks Middle School annual fall festival, Pokey Oaks Middle School annual summer festival, Pokey Oaks Middle School annual winter festival, Pokey Oaks Middle School annual spring festival... not to be confused with Pokey Oaks Middle School fundraising festival, which she volunteered at.

Despite all that...

The woman simply shook her head, "No, I just haven't met a lot of the moms before."

Brick stared at her for a moment and sighed, "What about the dads?" He asked over another drag.

The man had already figured out the whole thing.

"Oh, I've met some of them!" Blossom beamed, "They were actually very nice."

Brick's eyes almost went skyward. Of course.

"Oh yeah? Do you talk a lot?"

Blossom shrugged, "Kind of. We talk about kids, work... You'd be surprised by how many people want to learn about workers' rights! It's amazing."

Brick took a drag, "...Learn?"

"Yes, they ask me about it, it's not like I'm giving free lectures." Blossom stated, rather defensively, "So yes, you could say they want to learn."

Brick's eyes quickly seized his counterpart. Even with the cardigan on... Shit, she could wear a potato sack and people would pay attention to whatever came out of her mouth.

He thought of pointing that out, but the worry in those doe eyes was palpable.

"Good for you, then." Brick grinned, "Not everyone is a jerk."

Blossom was briefly taken aback by how nice he sounded, Brick had always been most cynical of the world and people in general. Not even a sarcastic comment? Maybe the years have softened him.

"At least I have that, I guess." She sighed, raising the cigarette between her fingers with a tight-lipped grin, "...And this."

Buttercup wandered through the crowds with her meticulous detective eye on the lookout for two pitch-black heads, slouching here and there whenever she saw a vaguely familiar face.

No, she did not want to start her own side hustle and to be a girl boss... Just because you met her at a barbecue over the Believe's doesn't mean you are friends, it means your husband was drunk, and Bubbles begged Buttercup to "distract Jane, their marriage is in danger. It'll ruin the barbecue if she asks for the divorce in front of everyone, and Blossom really thinks Matt wants to listen to the social-cultural aspects of the OJ trial, I don't wanna tell her he's using this as an excuse to look down her shirt."

...And they wonder why the toughest fighter is scared shitless of commitment.

Of course, the asswipe was watching the kid playing with grass from a couple of yards away. Well, "play" was a stretch. The kid was staring at the grass literally watching it grow.

Who said kids were hard to manage?

Buttercup approached her counterpart with an arm slap, "Asswipe."

The man turned around, cigarette in hand, "Aw, shit! Look who's here, the scorned woman."

She gave him a funny look, "Scorned?"

Butch pointed his head at the boy, "Lil' ace likes me better."

The growl came from the depths of Buttercup's throat.

"Shut up and give me a cigarette." Buttercup stated, pulling him by the jacket to her side, so he was in-between her and the property.

Butch simply picked up a cigarette with a funny look on his face.

Buttercup blankly took it, lightning it up, "Blossom and I quit. New year bullshit."

"...Sure is working."

"Look, she needs to quit, ok?" Buttercup spat, "Her health is hanging by a thread..." She muttered, forgetting for a moment Butch had super hearing.

"Yeah, her vibes are hella off." The man shrugged.

Buttercup look at him, puzzled, "What does that even mean?"

The man thought for a moment, "It's like the time Boomer went to NY and hooked me up with a runway model. Bitch was hot, but rolling on coke, no food, and no sleep. So yeah, hot bitch, but vibes were off. That's your sis."

Buttercup silently stared into his eyes.

"I'm beating you to a pulp once we're outta here."

Butch was unphased, "Truth hurts." He shrugged, taking a drag off his cigarette, "What 'bout you, officer? Can't last an hour socializing before it breaks you?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Buttercup snarled, "First off, I'm unbreakable. Second, Princess was being a bitch, so your brother started bringing up the past, and-"

"The past?"

"Senior year."

Butch held his breath. That... was a weird time in high school. A time where Princess's and Buttercup's hook-ups became intertwined: Butch was Buttercup's rebound, but also Princess's boy toy. One thing led to another, and neither woman wanted to be reminded of the time they shared a small double bed with Butch. In fact, not even Butch himself wanted to remember that.

'Wow, you girls are getting so carried on.'

'So, huh, girls, it's been a while, can I get in yet?'

'...Girls? Huh, Butch here! Hello-o! I want to, can you let me in or...?'

"Worst. Threesome. Ever."

Buttercup squinted, "It was your idea."

"Yeah, 'cuz I thought it'd be like porn." Butch stated, "I didn't know you two would get so carried away." He trailed off with a vague gesture.

"Hate fucking is a powerful thing." Buttercup shrugged over a long drag, "Especially at seventeen."

"Why did Brick bring it up?" Butch grimaced in annoyance, "I told him that back then just to brag I was in a threesome."

His counterpart snorted, "In...?"

He scowled, "Yeah, in. Technically, I was in the threesome."

"Oh, really?" Buttercup raised an eyebrow with a mocking smile, "My memory must be failing me. What did you do? During said threesome?"

Butch slowly squinted, "I was... in... the room. My room. Ok?"

"...And yet, your dick remained untouched."

"It still counts, ok!"

Buttercup laughed aloud, "Yeah, right... Whatever helps you sleep at night." She chuckled over another drag, "Just get the boy. I have to go back before my sisters find me."

Butch rolled his eyes, "You know, he's doing just fine with me, you can just fu..." He trailed off, turning around to fetch the kid. The man blankly looked forward... then to the right and left. Then, he slowly turned back.

"Huh... where's the kid?"

Buttercup raised an eyebrow, "You were watching him."

Butch inhaled with a nod, "True. But, um, y'know, you should've known better than leaving a kid with me, right?"

The woman paled, "What does that mean?"

"...Pretty sure I just lost him."

A/N: Butch not getting any action in a threesome because Princess and Buttercup were too busy exploring each other bodies' is hilarious to me. Also, as a smoker, I agree with Boomer. Nicotine is the dumbest addiction.

Next chapter: Where did the green-skinned boy go? Will we ever find out his name? Will Blossom discover no one likes law that much? Where did Boomer find that ukulele?