– Present –
Dargonus -
Leaning over her balcony, Elena gazed dreamily at the skies above Dargonus. It was ablaze with the blinking lights of various spaceships and shuttles entwined. More and more guests were arriving every day to witness her Magnae Accessio..
She was looking forward to it : once that formality was done, she could turn her mind towards more pressing matters. Kunrad was still on the loose. Marazai had escaped her. The Final Dawn still infested her people, yet their mastermind eluded her. Her colonies all had stupid conflicts she had to personally resolve in order to thrive.
Any excuse to get aboard her ship again. The voidborn closed her eyes, inhaling the warm breeze of Dargonus. The weight of the planet - she found it wore her down. Her lungs did not sit well with the local atmosphere. She failed to see the beauty of the capital world. What could compare to the view of her personal bay giving way into space ?
The governor had done an excellent job at cleaning up the Hive-City, she reflected as she casually inspected the streets from above. Still. In her cursed perfect memory, she could relive all the images of the massacres the drukharis had conducted under her very nose at the exact place. The anger and guilt gnawed at her. Marazai…that was a name to remember. Someone needed to pay for this affront.
The only good thing that had come out of those last weeks was her relationship with Heinrix. Yet, what he had told her the night before - that she was to expect a formal, but perhaps unpleasant visit - worried her. Her diviner's dreams hinted at many different iterations of her relationship with Heinrix. The vast majority of them underlined their inadequation, when they did not entranced her in visions of death.
Yes, her mind was clouded. The day of her ascension has arrived - but her soul was elsewhere. In reminiscences from the past and memories from the future. The present though ? It faded away in the background most of the time.
She turned her gaze down, as her awareness caught sight of a flick of unusual color amongst the grey-blue shades of the stones of the palace. There : walking swiftly through the fortress, her lithe body blinking from shadow to shadow, a spark of red hair. Yrliet.
Elena stared and she could tell the xenos had perceived her attention ; pivoting to her side, Yrliet looked up to the balcony, far above her head. She was very small from up here. For once.
They locked gazes for a second. The wind was howling menacingly, speaking of storms to come ; their hair were sprung away by the violent breeze, red and blonde. She waved at the ranger, acknowledging her. The Aeldari frowned ever so delicately, tilting her head to the side, as if pondering something.
In a swift movement, Yrliet jumped up the building closest to her. Unseen and unnoticed by the wardens and the patrols that she stealthily avoided, the Aeldari made her way up, unafraid of the height. Elena contemplated her swift ascent with admiration - she certainly would not have tried that, even with divination. It would take just a slip for Yrliet to crash all the way down. What in the Throne's name was she thinking ?
Elena backed away from the parapet as the xenos caught it gracefully between her hands and carried herself to the top. The wind breezed away her green cloak, revealing the tight, alien armor suit beneath - and a gaunt shape that was not humane. Elena was once again struck by the unnaturalness of Yrliet - how different she was.
Without a sound, Yrliet landed on the balcony. Elena could swear she saw the hint of a smug smile over her expression, before it washed away, replaced by a mask of serenity.
The Rogue Trader raised a delicate eyebrow at Yrliet.
" Impressive ", she commented.
Yrliet brushed her comment away with a shrug. " Your constructions are easy to understand and to maneuver. I have familiarized myself with these sorts of patterns when I was standing watch over Janus's governor."
The Aeldari straightened. As a voidborn, Elena was taller than most men and women she knew, but still Yrliet towered over her. The ranger looked away to the skies, taking in the details of what Elena had been daydreaming about.
" You are wearing a crown on your throne of thorns, yet your heart longs for the call of the stars, elantach," Yrliet diagnosed. Her voice was deep and slow, with the hint of a drawl.
Elena sighed. It struck her that for the first time ever since Yrliet joined her crew, she was really alone with her. Usually, there was always someone to stalk the xenos down - be it Abelard, Heinrix, or Argenta. But today, Yrliet had escaped their attention - none of them would have believed, after all, that the Aeldari would just climb to the Rogue Trader's balcony as if out of a dramatic novel.
It was also just strange to speak with Yrliet. Of all her retinue, she was certainly the most perceptive…and she didn't have quite the same boundaries as her.
Elena saw no point in lying. She nodded absently. " It is true. I grew used to staying planetside for a long time in my service within the armies of the Imperium. But I hated it, and I still hate it today. My very flesh tells me it is not my place. " She smiled to herself - a ghost of a smile, as her fingers absent-mindedly traced patterns and geometric drawings over the railing. " I don't know why I'm telling you this. "
" I can understand, elantach. This place is making me feel restless. I, too, wish to leave it as soon as possible.. "
Elena said nothing as the clouds turned greyer and darker over their heads, the wind now howling madly. Yet she felt peace on the inside -not the peace born of a still mind, but the peace born out of distance and disconnection.
" Maybe there is still time for reaching the starport unseen and flee away to my ship ", she mused, looking away to the starport.
" Are you that anxious about your rite of passage, elantach ? You never talked about fleeing away from anything before. But then I can understand how parading before your kin may prove grotesque at times. " There was a hint of challenge in Yrliet's voice - immediately, Elena's shoulders straightened and her eyes narrowed in response.
" I am not anxious ", she denied, lying. " I am just…daydreaming about "what if'."
Yrliet had a brief, compassionate smile. " A sad occupation. " The Aeldari tried to hide it, but Elena could perceive the spark of bitterness in her green eyes - revealing an inner turmoil. It seemed she wasn't the only one caught up in thoughts of what if after all.
" Yrliet…I must tell you something", said Elena after a while.
" Your mind has been troubled for some time now. I fear it has been so since I have invaded your personal room aboard your ship. I am listening, elantach. "
Yrliet sat down on the ground, bending her legs in a weird way that unruffled Elena - it was like her knees had too many tendons and articulations compared to hers, and her body cringed in empathy.
Elena felt the first drops of the rain crashing upon her face. She closed her eyes a second and pulled back her head, enjoying the cold touch. It was a respite from the sun.
" I have seen you before we actually met on Janus. In a vision. " Recalling the foreboding, her voice grew distant. " I was walking on Dargonus above the corpses of my people. Hooks leashed my body, protruding from my scarred flesh. Yet I felt no pain. Threads of numerous colors pulled at my flesh, as if I was a puppet. But not all were bad. Some red-colored threads connected me to people. You were amongst them. I recognized your red hair when I saw you on Janus. But this is not just about sensory details, you have to understand. It's about feelings. Everything about you…drew me to you, but also was so bitter. I knew then you had a big role to play in my life, though I don't understand why. There was so much sorrow and so little joy between us. Still it was impossible to disconnect away from your aura. "
Yrliet listened to her intently, not looking surprised or embarrassed by her words. Elena realized she had never truly spoken to the xenos before. There had always been interruptions, formalities, warp jumps, space battles, dead people in between them. Most of the people she knew found Elena uncanny and she had learnt to put a lid on her thoughts and visions. Even with Heinrix, who shared her bed, but not his mind, it was…complicated. It was complicated all the time and it was infuriating.
But Yrliet didn't seem unruffled in the slightest. It was…strangely easy to talk to her.
" I….see", said the xenos - not in a judgmental way, but with ponderation and curiosity. " I regret that this vision has filled you with bittersweetness. Maybe it reflects the sadness that overwhelms me at times." She clutched at her spirit stone in her torso. " You wear the curse of the gaping maw upon you, elantach. I have always believed that one should not bow too much to its darkened visions - the power to see the future is the anathema of free will. Be wary, elantach, that it does not extinguish in you all ability to choose. "
Elena listened, feeling confused by Yrliet's words. Many had warned her against her abilities, and the lure they could represent. Mistress Maria had told her : don't take shelter in your visions, else you become an empty shell for a daemon to borrow. Mistress Maria had told her : be wary of the signs of insanity, paranoia, morality - all common features in older diviners. Mistress Maria had told her : do not let your feelings overwhelm you. Put a muzzle over yourself. Stay in control.
What Mistress Maria had never expressed was any concern towards the concept of free will. Such a thing did not exist in her eyes.
Power had given her a sort of freedom. She had never thought that the lure of divination could take it back from her.
Then, she had never thought that someday a xenos would talk to her about freedom over the balcony of a palace dedicated to her.
Yrliet went on, taking her time to speak fully : " You see things that the other mon-keighs don't. You do so in a crude and violent way…and so you wonder and wander, because your understanding of the world is insufficient to help you cope with the holism that is revealed to you. Do not be offended, elantach - I am simply saying the truth. You are like a creature capable of discerning the shimmering hues of light - yet you live in a world where there is nothing but black and white, and so you are disconnected to yourself. "
Yrliet fell silent before adding : " You try to split the world into pieces, to fragment it : into light and dark, lies and truth, self and other. But I see the world as a single whole. It is not enough simply to see the world. You must understand it. Think of the Lilaethan, the world we met on. What is it truly ? What is its essence ? Its beauty is in the word. In the way it dances over the tongue. And even you, elantach, can sense it. Try it. Say the word, slowly, delicately. "
Elena stared at the Aeldari in astonishment, surprised at the length and depth of her conversation. She started regretting that her retinue's overwhelming presence had prevented Yrliet from ever reaching out like this before. She began to understand what had drawn her to the Aeldari in the first place - a sense of fate, yes, but maybe also a glimpse of a light she had never seen before in her life.
She closed her eyes and inhaled, trying to take this seriously, and let her psychic senses surfaced at the tip of her senses, as a wave crashing down on the shores of her mind.
" Lilaethan ", she repeated slowly.
Her perception changed as the world faded around her. " Li " - her tongue caressed the top of her palate, warming her throat. " Lae " - the sound like a susurration of leaves bristling on the ground. " Than" - a gentle vibration at the threshold of her teeth sent a shiver down her body.
A psychic feeling formed into her heart - the feeling of something coming together, telling the importance of connection.
Her awareness returned. The rain was still falling over them, but they were both unfazed by it. The wind had gone quieter for now - but the rumbling of far away thunder announced its return.
" I…" she felt perplexed at the experience. She had lived through more intense one as a psyker, but this was the thing. Psychic abilities hurt. They were dangerous. This…was different. This was on another level of prescience. It did not hurt. It was not dangerous.
" I'm starting to understand ", Elena murmured, eyes widened in shock at the comprehension that she, indeed, was failing to see the big picture. It was both humiliating and humbling. Both feelings tended not to sit well with Rogue Traders.
Elena turned her face away, hiding her emotions. This conversation was rattling on her nerves - making her ponder things she had never thought about before in her life.
" I knew you were capable of seeing more than you do now. Of perceiving the splendor of ephemerality ", replied Yrliet gently. " I have seen that in you before. Your power resides in your will. It lies in your ability to create. "
" I would have never expected you to say such things in reference to me ", replied Elena, feeling flustered for the first time in her interactions with Yrliet. What was going on ?
Yrliet dismissed her words. " I am but speaking the truth, elantach. There is no insinuation and no call to act in my words. Your soul…it shines brightly into the world. I see you, and that will never change. It is all there is to it."
Elena fell silent, even more flustered. Yrliet didn't seem embarrassed by her words. She wasn't picking them with caution. It wasn't complicated for her. Once again, it underlined their profound differences. Elena could not start to fathom showing anyone such genuineness. It got her thinking.
" Thank you for telling me how you see this world", she said.
" And what do you make of it, elantach ?" questioned Yrliet, tilting her head to the side.
Another thunderous rumble in the distance. The horizon was set ablaze with the flash of lightning. The rain was soaking them both down by now. Yrliet slowly got up, unraveling her elongated members in an uncanny way.
" Because of my…nature," said Elena " I have always thought there was something deeper to understand. Something important to connect to. I thought it had to do with divination. But…now I understand this does not have to be correlated. I see there is indeed something deeper into the world - something anew. "
I am confused, she wanted to add. This defies all my education.
Yrliet stared more intently. " And what does that mean ?"
Elena didn't pause to consider, feeling the flinch and conviction of her soul pull her forward. " There is so much pain in this world. It is all we know. I sense the suffering of those around me, and it compels me to act. To be better. To be stronger. "
Yrliet considered her in a strange, new way. Both compassion and regret battled over her face.
" I thought it would be. I align with this feeling. Now that we have shared our truths about the world, elantach…I wonder if you see me differently ?"
Elena chuckled. " I only regret, Yrliet, that we did not get to converse before. But I always felt what I now feel about you - you have something precious springing from within, speaking of disquiet. I only wish I could know more. "
The shadow of a bitter smile played on Yrliet's face. " I regret that as well, elantach. I…see there are facets of you that I had not completely perceived. This conversation…brings me both serenity. It should bring me joy as well - but the truth is that my soul is torn at this moment. " Yrliet's head hung down in a gesture of sorrow, as her long fingers rested on her spirit stone.
Elena considered Yrliet's posture, the conflict over her face. She had sensed something change in Yrliet ever since that day she had discovered her visiting her anteroom.
She had gazed at the fragment that had caught the Aeldari's attention and had pierced some of its secrets through psychometry. Enough to realize what was going on.
She hesitated. Elena was secretive. She didn't like sharing her thoughts. But…but Heinrix has started opening up to her and she had felt better after disclosing her own worries. But…but Yrliet has just shared with her something meaningful and it would feel strange to keep for herself what she had seen.
" There is something else, Yrliet ", added Elena in a deep voice. " I…" her voice trailed off as a flash of guilt sparked in her dark eyes. " After your strange reaction, back on the ship, I inspected the fragment of the exhibition that caught your interest. I used my psychometry to learn more about it. About your feelings. About its history."
She paused, as a spark of astonishment and anger rose in Yrliet's usually soothing eyes - and disappeared just at the same time.
" You have dared to spy into my soul, elantach ?" asked Yrliet back, bewildered.
" Yes. " No point in trying to lie about it. " I have seen what sort of dark feelings are forming inside you. The despair, the urge to save your brethren…the desperate measure you are ready to consider to succeed in saving someone, anyone. " She tried to speak softly, gently, but she could see her words had hurt Yrliet somehow.
Elena continued : " I saw death imprinted upon the piece of architecture - a fragment of Crudarach, I then understood. My heart felt it - " her black eyes grew unfocused, glassy " - a blight that plied at the very source of the craftworld, ate it up from the inside. The powerlessness…the despair…the cries for mercy and for help…but help never came. " Her gaze regained its focus, blinking.
Yrliet's face had crumbled under the weight of her mourning, and she clutched tightly at her chestplate, looking at her as if she was some kind of monster.
" Your kind did that to us ", stated Yrliet coldly. " Your predecessor…is she the one responsible ? Did you know, elantach ? Did you hide that away from me ? "
Elena stared back, unfazed, looking Yrliet dead in the eye. " No, Yrliet, I didn't know. It didn't catch my attention before. And yes, I think it has something to do with Theodora. "
Yrliet studied her face, looking for any traces of lies. " I…believe you, elantach", she finally said. " But even so - you have to promise me that you will tell me the truth about your discoveries. About how your predecessor is linked to this. And what caused the demise of my homeworld - it must be found and destroyed. Tell me you will do that. " Yrliet looked at her with gleaming eyes, demanding.
" I…" began Elena, but her voice trembled with hesitation. How could she promise something like that, when she had no clear clue about what really happened ? She fell silent, confused.
Yrliet closed her eyes for a second, registering her lack of response. " I see", she merely said.
" Yrliet ", interrupted Elena, trying to find a way to make this right " I promise I - "
Her comm-bead suddenly crackled with static, just before Vigdis informed her Abelard wanted to reach her. Elena ignored the comm, placing her palm around so as to quiet it down.
" I do not wish for more suffering, Yrliet. Neither your kind, nor mine. I will not do anything that jeopardizes that. Please, believe me. "
Yrliet cast her a thoughtful and bitter look. " I want to believe you, elantach, but how can I, when your whole kin is against me ? You have to look out for your own safety, I understand that. I have to do the same. I hope you can understand as well. "
The comm-bead crackled once more, Abelard's voice on the other end sounding worried. Elena's palm tightened around it - why was she always interrupted when something meaningful happened ? Yrliet's words were veiled with foreshadowing.
" I'm begging you, Yrliet, do not do anything rash. We can find a solution together. We can pierce this mystery together. Please. " She stared at the xenos, as the storm howled around them.
As a Rogue Trader, Elena never said "please" nor "sorry." But it wasn't the Rogue Trader speaking right now. It was a deeper part of her. The part of her that believed that she had to do better than what she had been taught to…but did not know how to achieve that.
Noting her agitation, Yrliet graced her with a thoughtful look, but remained ominously silent. " I never do anything rash, elantach ", she simply said after a while. She pointed to her comm-bead : " You should answer that. Else the old mon-keigh believes that I am trying to hurt you again. "
In a swift movement, Yrliet crossed over the parapet, suspending herself in the air.
" Yrliet ", reproached Elena, frowning. " Don't do that. It's rainy, windy, and dangerous. Just go through the door like anyone else. "
" I am not like anyone else, " replied Yrliet. She then jumped down on a nearing parapet, and Elena watched cautiously as the Aeldari made her way back down.
" That's for sure ", she mumbled to herself.
" Lord Captain !" Abelard's voice - not resonating in her comm-bead, but by her study. She turned back.
The Seneschal and Clementia had both stormed into her study, looks of worry on their faces. As he saw her standing unscathed under the rainy storm by her balcony, Abelad frowned with incomprehension.
" Is anything wrong with your comm-bead ?" he asked, though Elena knew that he didn't buy it at all. He was just offering her a gracious way out of this innuendo.
She must have looked a bit crazy in his eyes. No one in their right state of mind stood around a drenching rain silently. But a psyker might. After all, psykers were weird. She could almost see the wheels of this calculation in his mind, reflecting in his expression. The voidborn considered Abelard with her usual, impassive expression.
" I have been pondering things, before you interrupted me " she stated matter-of-factly, as if the situation was completely normal. " What did you want to talk about, Seneschal ? "
Abelard inhaled, ignoring her sideway comment. " There is a situation with Winterscale and Lady Cassia, Lord Captain. You should come. You will not have to go a long way, considering they are both trying to storm your anteroom right now. "