And so life goes on.
The Slytherin- Gryffindor season opener was upon them and Harry found himself having increasingly uncomfortable practices on the Quidditch pitch. Having both Ron AND Ginny on the team was becoming a strain. The practices started out well enough, but as soon as Harry tried to give some direction to either of them, they would blow up at him or purposely do the opposite or just plain ignore. This behavior undermined Harry as the Captain and made the rest of the team extremely uncomfortable- and it showed in their playing. Aang was his usual unbelievable self on the pitch, but Harry could tell the in–fighting was taking a toll on him. Aang spent so much time trying to quell fights that he was losing his spirit, his excitement for the game. Not to mention Ginny's actions, since she had decided that Aang had taken Harry's side in this whole feud, were being increasingly stingy with the quaffle. There was no teamwork anymore.
To make matters worse, evenings in the suite with Hermione were tense. It seemed no matter how hard Harry tried, he could find something romantic or sexy in everything Hermione did:
The way she sat in her armchair, reading. Her long, soft legs crossed so elegantly beneath her. That bushy hair draping over her shoulders just reaching the crevice of her…NO! Harry would think quickly. Hermione was just reading! Reading! Harry would try to think about something else, like how Hermione would sometimes fall asleep on the couch while studying. She looked so peaceful and angelic, he wanted to lay next to her, wrap his arm around her, maybe press his lips against…NO! Okay, Quidditch! Harry thought. Nice game of Quidditch. A manly sport! Hermione hated Quidditch! Maybe she wouldn't hate it so much if he could get her on a broomstick, maybe a quiet nighttime flight together would change her mind. Maybe land in some secret place under a full moon. He could wrap his arms around her, warm her up…make her hot…NO!
Harry couldn't stop himself. He found himself hiding in his room. If he got around her…well, he wasn't sure what he would do. It was one thing to acknowledge something that you had known was true all along, but THIS Harry had never even thought about. THIS had never crossed his mind. THIS terrified him. Harry wanted to run, he wanted to hide, he wanted to embrace her, he wanted to take her. Harry always had a plan, or at least, he was always able to think on his feet in strange situations. He'd been wrong sometimes, he'd been right sometimes. But he'd never been completely unaware. He had been taken by surprise on occasion but he had also always been cognizant of the possibility of surprise. Not this time. Not in THIS situation. No, THIS was terrifying.
Harry suspected Hermione was feeling just as confused as he was. She avoided him. Avoided being alone with him. She was in the common room less and less. One might think she was just trying to deduce the secrets of the revelations McGonagall had revealed in her office. One might think she was just being Hermione. But Harry knew. No, Harry knew Hermione hadn't been quite herself for a while. Harry didn't know why, he wasn't even completely sure how she had changed. But he knew something was different, perhaps you could be the guy she opens up to. Maybe you could take her out to the Black Lake, be her shoulder to cry on, be the man she NEEDS. Wipe her tears away, look into those beautiful brown eyes, inch a little closer and….NO!
Harry snapped his head up and looked at his closed bedroom door. The door that led to a balcony, a balcony that lead to another door, a door that led to Hermione…
And from the couch down below, Aang was abruptly awakened by a frustrated, "GODDAMIT!"
…
Harry stalked into the locker room. The day was upon them. Slytherin VS. Gyffindor, a veritable good VS evil grudge match. The game everyone always looked forward to. Today, however, Harry wasn't really feeling the rhetoric. They had been practicing like shite. Ron and Ginny had formed some kind of sub-team, whose sole purpose was to undermine Harry at every turn and make his life as Quidditch captain a living hell. Harry hoped they wouldn't go so far as to throw the match out of spite. No, no matter how mad they were, Harry knew the Weasleys had honor. They would never intentionally hurt Gryffindor house. Although, they might just do it accidentally…
"Hey Captain!" Aang announced as soon as Harry walked in, a gigantic smile on his face. "Today's the big day huh! Time to take it to the field! Play some Quidditch! Quidditch time! OH YEEAAAAAAAAA!"
"Ok, ok, thanks Kuzon for that…uh…well, for THAT." Harry replied. Soon it was down to business. Harry flicked his wand, and a chalkboard zoomed forward with a Quidditch diagram he had spent weeks working on.
"Ok, Delvino, Moniclease, make sure you watch out for Serpinson. He's a decent chaser and he plays dirty. He'll be gunning for Ginny, Slytherins never respect female Quidditch players…"
"I don't need protection, Potter." Ginny said darkly. Harry had never heard her call him by his surname before. It made his chest hurt, burn.
Harry's gaze lingered on her for a moment, then he soldiered on. "Anyway, Robbins, take them at the left hoop, Cardinz can never completely cover it." He said, Demelza nodded hesitatingly, sneaking glances at Ginny.
Harry continued, "Ron, make sure you watch the left hoop too. Slytherin seems to go for…"
"Yea, yea, Potter, tell me something I don't know." Ron said, looking over his broom as if whatever Harry was saying was of no concern to him. Harry let out a hard sigh, he had to keep the peace.
"Kuzon, you've got the speed and a good fake." Harry smirked smugly at Ron, clearly referring to Aang's spectacular goal at the try-outs. Ron glared at him in return. So much for keeping the peace. Harry continued, "Barrel up the middle, the short pass to Ginny or Robbins always confuses their beaters…"
Ginny sighed dramatically, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor. The team looked around at her, then back to Harry, as if they weren't sure who the real leader was.
That was it. "Something to say Weasley?" Harry said to Ginny impatiently. "Don't be shy, but keep in mind, I don't have the time or the patience for dramatics."
"Excuse me?" Ginny said rising from her seat.
"You heard me. I'm the captain of this team, you may have your knickers in a twist-" Harry smirked cruelly at Ron, as if he were insinuating something, Ron looked livid. "- but today isn't about you. It's about winning."
"Careful, Potter." Ron said, standing at his full height, his face red. "Mind your attitude or you might not have a keeper."
"Or a third chaser." Ginny said, looking at Harry dangerously. It would seem she had caught his insinuation as well.
The rest of the team shifted nervously in their chairs. Team disintegration was not a desirable outcome for them.
"Well, by all means, quit." Harry spat, standing his ground. "Then you can explain how you let Gryffindor down because of your own stupid little grudges. How honorable."
Ginny and Ron looked torn but enraged.
"You have a choice. You can leave and, should we lose, it will be YOUR fault. I'm pretty sure I can find PLENTY of people who would LOVE to replace you in the next match." Harry announced ruthlessly. Demelza made a tiny sort of squealing sound. Moniclease gripped his club nervously. "Or, you can shut it, accept that I am your captain, and get your arses on the pitch."
Aang looked around at the nervous teammates and, suddenly, looked angry.
"HEY!" Aang exclaimed. He rose from his seat holding that pitiful excuse for a broom, whose miraculous speed he had publicly attributed to 'Asian crafting.' "Ron, Ginny, Harry is our CAPTAIN and you have done NOTHING but undermine him at EVERY turn! We ALL know it. So, why don't you REEL IN the TIGERFISH and be there for your TEAM. It not just YOU TWO out here, it's GRYFFINDOR!" Ron and Ginny looked mutinous yet guilty. Somehwere in the back Delvino muttered, "What's a tigerfish..."
Aang turned to Harry, who was smiling at him. "AND YOU!" Aang yelled, Harry's face fell, "Don't try to THREATEN your own team members! What kind of leader does that? I know you're frustrated, but a true leader shows COMPASSION and PATIENCE in the face of disdain!"
Aang never sounded wiser in his life.
The room was silent. Everyone stared at Aang as if everything he uttered was sacred knowledge from a time long ago. Aang, smirked slightly, he knew that look very well. "Now let's get out there and KICK SOME SLYTHERIN BUTT!"
Demelza, Moniclease, and Delvino flew out of their seats whooping wildly. After a second, Harry joined in smiling, followed by Ron and Ginny. Aang had never been so relieved but as they walked out of the locker room, he saw Harry, Ron, and Ginny throwing dark glares at each other, and he knew this row was far from over. He sighed. Someone was going to pay for this, Aang could only hope that it would be Slytherin.
"Oh! Hello everyone! Welcome to the Quidditch match. Today, I believe it will be Slytherin Vs Gryffindor. Oh and here they all come. They're the Slytherins, of course. They don't look very happy do they? They never look very happ- Hmm? Oh, I should announce their names Headmistress? Well, I think we all know them- well, alright. Well, that one is Cardinz, I believe. Then I think that rather lanky one is Serpinson- oh look he's waving! Why is he using only one finger? What an interesting way to wave! Look! I'm waving at you too! Everyone, wave to Cardinz!"
Ron snorted as a sea of middle fingers rose in the air on the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw sides of the pitch. He turned to Ginny, "They've got Luna announcing again! Excellent!"
Ginny laughed, surprised at how comfortable Ron looked. He was usually a wreck before matches.
"Oh dear. Headmistress McGonagall would like me to announce that 20 points will be taken from all houses but Slytherin…well, I don't see why." Luna continued mysteriously. Somewhere in the pitch, Sokka laughed hysterically.
Harry watched as the Slytherins lined up on the pitch. Draco was absent. Harry supposed he must have given up Quidditch. Harry found himself slightly disappointed. He did love smashing Draco on the pitch. The last time Draco had disappeared from Quidditch it was because…no, Harry didn't want to think of why. Not now. Yet he couldn't help himself, it was because he was funneling Deatheaters into Hogwarts, with disastrous results. Dumbledore. Dumbledore was gone. So many people were gone. Why was he thinking about this now? How is it that the mind could switch gears so quickly, so randomly? Suddenly, a game of Quidditch seemed so trivial to him. If he had just concentrated his energies on finding out what Draco was doing sixth year, maybe Dumbledore would still be here, maybe so many people needn't have been sacrificed…Draco, he thought, so sneaky, just like a Slytherin. Why was it that he trusted him to look after Zuko? Gods! Why was it that HE had to solve all these impossible problems? Everything was already so hard, why was everyone making everything so hard for him? Suddenly, Harry grew angry at Slytherin house for housing the boy who had taken away his greatest defender. He grew angry at Ginny for not being who he thought she was. He grew angry at Ron for being what he hoped Ron wouldn't. He grew very angry.
Ron looked around the pitch. There were signs everywhere:
Weasley is our King.
The Boy who Seeked.
Flameo Hotman.
Scare of the Air, Kuzon.
Weasley is our Queen.
Ron smiled. He continued to look around the pitch, really he was looking for one person in particular though he didn't want to. He located Team Avapotter, they were all there, Toph wearing Luna's customary Lion Hat and looking pleasantly irritated about it. But SHE wasn't there. Ron's smile turned into a scowl. Wouldn't she want to see her PRECIOUS Harry play? Ron's eyes turned to slits. Why Harry? Why was it always Harry! Why couldn't she see that it was HE who knew her! It was HE that deserved her! Just once, why couldn't people see HIM? He would make her regret this. He would make her wish she had NEVER cast him aside. He would show her. He was Ron Weasley dammit. Not Harry Potter's stupid sidekick. Not everyone's afterthought. Not their second choice. He would show her. He would show them all.
Ginny looked around and caught a glimpse of Harry. He looked livid. She turned up to the stands, spying Team Avapotter, sans Hermione. Was that what he was angry about? That she hadn't bother to come see him play? Serves him right! Did he really think she would turn into a loving girlfriend NOW? Her chest hurt, burned. All this time. All that waiting. It had been Hermione. It had always been Hermione. That could be the only explanation. He had been toying with her. Passing the time while waiting for the moment he could have his Hermione. HIS Hermione. Ginny's face flushed with embarrassment. With crippling sadness. With rage. How dare he! So, he thought he could toss her, did he? Forget about her, would he? Not today. Not ever.
"Players mount your brooms!" Madam Hooch announced, whistle in hand. Aang looked around excitedly, but his excitement turned to dismay as he noticed three very angry faces on the Gryffindor team. Oh spirits-
The whistle blew and they were off.
Aang, Ginny, and Demelza flew in perfect formation, Ginny in the lead, heading straight for the Slytherin chasers heading opposite them with the Quaffle. Suddenly, Ginny broke forward, rage written on her face. Serpinson seemed to see her coming and balked. Ginny elbowed him right in the face, knocking the quaffle from his hand, and caught it seamlessly. Aang looked at her in horror. That couldn't be legal, he swung around and saw that Madam Hooch hadn't noticed. She was watching the beaters. Aang gulped. Ginny scored.
Sokka squinted out onto the field, apparently deep in thought. "Huh, Quidditch is a violent sport….WHHHOOOOOOO YEA GINNY! WEASLEY MAKES EM QUEASY!" He shot out of his seat and did a kind of inappropriate pelvic thrusting dance that several first years imitated.
"Oh look, Gryffindor scored. Although, I don't think it was quite fair to do that to Serpinson. Incidentally, it is the winter and, as you know, it is prime weather to hear the song of the snake. Most notably, Boa Constrictors sing a beautiful Soprano-" Luna mused.
Ginny flew back around, and in the process, undercut Harry by inches, almost knocking him off his broom. Harry glared at her and she smirked in response.
A Slytherin chaser zoomed up the pitch, heading straight for Ron. Ron sat at the ready, a fierce look in his eye. The chaser went for the left hoop, Ron looped backwards from the center hoop and caught it easily. He turned and hurled the quaffle with such ferocity that it hit a Slytherin chaser square in the ribs. The chaser howled and doubled over on his broom.
"Penalty shot!" Madam Hooch yelled as Ron protested with mock indignity. "Weasley, mind your quaffle returns!"
The chaser took his position and sped forward. He feigned for the center hoop, then shot right. Ron caught it on the tips of his fingers. Glaring at the enemy chaser, he raised the quaffle to throw it back. The chaser looked terrified at the bloodlust in Ron's eyes. Ron shot the quaffle back but it wasn't aimed at the chaser, no, it flew to the right of him, soared high in the air, and hit Harry right across the side of his face.
Harry groaned as little lights popped in his eyes. Slowly, he turned, his eyes watering, to see Ron grinning maliciously at him. "Bastard!" Harry yelled though, the confused yells of Gryffindors, and the excited cheers of Slytherins drowned out his curses.
"Penalty shot to…er…Gryffindor?" Madam Hooch seemed to be taken aback. "Weasley! One more of those and it will be detention!"
Aang lined up, preparing to take the shot for Harry. He looked around nervously at his team members, most of whom looked uncomfortable and confused. Aang shrugged it off as best he could. After all, this was to be his first Quidditch shot in a real live Quidditch match. He would NOT let petty squabbling ruin it. He shot off, the quaffle under one arm, the Slytherin keeper scrutinizing him. Aang raised the quaffle, and the keeper thought he had him. Just then Aang sprang from his broom as it continued to shoot forward. He flew over the keeper, throwing the quaffle through his legs into the center hoop as he sailed over it, and landed on the broom on the other side of the ring. The crowd was dead silent, then burst into raucous cheers, gasps, and screams of amazement. Madam Hooch spluttered.
"Oh look at that, Kuzon scored a goal. Well, I guess that would make it 20 to 0. If you'll notice, the sun's diameter seems to be minimal today, which would indicate a fine Blimpie harvest…hmm? Yes, Headmistress, I saw him score, I just thought I would let any Blimpie fishers know-…Well, I don't know about that Headmistress, Daddy says it is perfectly safe to stare into the sun…," announced Luna.
The game continued and Aang seemed to be racking up the spectacular goals:
40-0- Aang scores by surfing on his broom and doing some kind of roundhouse kick with the quaffle, shooting it into the goal, sheer momentum pushing him and the broom forward.
80-0- Aang scores by hanging off his broom, one handed, and tossing it into the goal on the far opposite side of the one he was flying towards.
170-0 Aang scores by hopping on to the broom of the Slytherin beater and, using him as some kind of dummy, he got the beater to accidentally knock the quaffle into the hoop using his own bat.
That last one mystified everyone in the pitch. Aang was laughing. He had been laughing the whole time.
But even with Aang's amazing goals, the game had been decidedly ugly particularly towards the end. Ginny seemed to fly at Harry at any opportunity once it became clear, due to the mounting Gryffindor lead, that even if Slytherin caught the snitch, the game would be Gryffindors.
Ron seemed to be "accidentally" throwing return quaffles at Harry at almost any opportunity. The crowd groaned and gasped.
Harry was not guiltless, each time Ron or Ginny pulled some dirty trick on him, he returned it ten-fold. Undercutting Ginny (which caused her to get hit by a bludger), "accidentally" slamming into Ron (at one point blackening his eye).
But it would seem it was the Slytherins who were taking the most abuse and Aang suddenly wished he hadn't hoped their bitterness would be directed towards them. Ginny was punching, kicking, and elbowing her way through the entire game. She had racked up almost 12 penalty shots for Slytherin. Ron saved every shot, and in the process of returning the quaffle, had broken a Slytherin chaser's nose, had knocked a Slytherin chaser off his broom, and had caused another Slytherin chaser to vomit after a particularly ferocious throw to the gut. That last one earning Ron 4 weeks' worth of detentions from Madam Hooch. The crowds' cheers were becoming decidedly subdued as they watched the horrifying strategy that Gryffindor seemed to be employing. Gryffindor house may have hated Slytherin house, but the house still had honor and they were not pleased with the flagrant cheating of their house players.
By the time Harry caught the Snitch (after knocking two Slytherins off their brooms and punching the Slytherin keeper in the face while pursuing the snitch), the Slytherins seemed to be completely terrified. The Slytherin seeker didn't even try to give chase to Harry as he went after the glittering orb, no doubt deciding it would be far safer for the game to end.
By the time they all landed to celebrate their victory, the team wasn't feeling celebratory, indeed, no one in the pitch felt particularly celebratory. Gryffindor had, after all, played an extremely dirty game. Harry, Ron, and Ginny looked like they had been in some kind of brawl, what with all the blood and bruises. Demelza, Moniclease, and Delvino ran, terrified, back to the locker room, as if they would rather be hit with a Cruciatus curse than be anywhere near the three of them. Aang looked at them all with a mixture of disgust and sadness as he landed on the field.
The crowd was a mixture of half-hearted cheering and confused murmuring as they left the pitch, even Sokka seemed too horrified to celebrate the victory. Gryffindor had won the day, but the cost of the victory would surely be what everyone would talk about.
Aang stood, staring at the three as the pitch emptied, his robes billowing in the wind. Harry, Ron, and Ginny looked at him grumpily but had to admit he looked almost…legendary.
"Are you proud?" Aang said quietly, the authority in his voice was striking, his eyes seemed to penetrate every fiber of their being.
They all grumbled in reply to him, now avoiding his gaze.
"I SAID, ARE YOU PROUD!" Aang yelled, his voice steady and formidable, suddenly he didn't sound like a 13 year old.
At once, as if they couldn't help it, their eyes snapped up at Aang. They said nothing.
Aang gave them one last look, before turning and walking away.
His silent departure seemed to amplify the shame that echoed within each of them, as they all realized, Harry in particular, that though none of them had intentionally tried to hurt Gyffindor house, they had done so accidentally.
Today, there was nothing brave nor honorable about these three Gryffindors.
…
He saw her standing there but he had to admit he was surprised to see her here so late. It was almost midnight. He knew how much stock she took in following the rules. Most of the time anyway. She stood, unmoving, staring out at the vast grounds, the moonlight hit her in a most unusual way. She looked like a piece of exquisite art, the way the light hit her. The cold breeze caused her hair to flutter slightly, the effect was striking. The whole scene was a bit surreal, he thought. He could certainly understand why she was in THIS particular place, the Astronomy Tower always had the most spectacular view. He hadn't been up here in quite some time. He couldn't bring himself to do it. It would seem there were a lot of rooms he was terrified of nowadays, but when he saw her sneaking up to the tower, he had to follow. He felt compelled to follow her. As he ascended the stairs slowly, he could feel the terror rising in him. This was normal. Yet, for some reason, knowing that she was up there gave him courage. He had to settle something. He had to talk to her. He never thought there would be a day where he WANTED to talk to her, wanted to say something more than an insult. No, he had to settle something.
He walked up to her slowly, the wind causing his robes to flutter slightly. He stood next to her and leaned against the railing, mimicking her current posture, and stared out into the magnificent grounds. It really was beautiful up here, he wished he had noticed more. She made no indication she noticed him, although he was sure she knew he was there. So, there they both stood, staring out at the grounds of Hogwarts. It seemed warmer in this spot than it should have been in November.
"Atmospheric charm?" He asked, still looking out on the grounds.
"Yes." She replied simply, also still looking out on the grounds. "Where were you?"
"In the nook, it's disillusioned. I spent a lot of time there sixth year…" He stopped abruptly, swallowing hard.
"So, you saw me from there then? Coming up to the Tower?" She confirmed, seemingly not noticing his discomfort.
He didn't answer, because he knew that she wasn't really asking. They stood quietly a little longer.
Finally, he broke the silence. "Did you see the Quidditch match today? I missed it but I heard it was…bad." He finished lamely, really he heard it was more along the lines of brutal.
"No." She said shortly, not looking at him. Silence overtook them again as they both stared out into the dark horizon, the stars seemed to wink at them knowingly.
"So. Something on your mind Granger?" He asked somewhat nervously, wondering if the tone of their conversation was too casual, considering their history.
She didn't answer immediately, it didn't seem to him that she was mulling over his question, more like she was still mulling over some questions of her own. Finally, She spoke, "You should know, Malfoy, there is always something on my mind."
He chuckled, almost inaudibly, but he knew she heard him. He didn't respond.
"You know you shouldn't be wandering the grounds at this time." She said, but something told him she wasn't going to go all 'Prefect' on him now.
"Well, I suppose neither of us should be out this late." He replied.
"So then, I suppose I should be asking you what's on YOUR mind." She said. They still weren't looking at each other.
He stared out at the grounds, trying to come up with an adequate reply. "A lot of things." He finished lamely.
She didn't look convinced. "So, if your mind is so filled with other matters, why are you following me?"
He coughed awkwardly before immediately putting on an expression of indifference. "I guess I was curious as to what the bride of Weasley was doing stalking around the Astronomy Tower at such a late hour."
He looked at her out the side of his eye and saw that she suddenly looked rather stricken. He hoped she wouldn't start crying, the girl was constantly crying. Sometimes he wondered how Potter and Weasley could stand her sudden bouts of emotion, although lately the number of her crying fits had dwindled, in fact, just as soon as the notion crossed her face, it disappeared and was replaced by a look of irritation.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" She said shortly, still not looking at him.
He straightened uncomfortably at her statement. He had hoped to stave off the subject he wanted to broach for as long as possible. He hoped she would give him some kind of casual entrance and thereby make it look like it was her idea to talk about it. Classic Slytherin. Another failure.
Finally, he plucked up the courage, "I want to know why, Granger."
She arched an eyebrow but continued to look out at the grounds, mirroring him. "I'm afraid you'll have to be a touch more specific." She replied.
"That day, in the Room of Requirement, when Aang and his friends arrived, when I told Potter my proposition for housing Zuko." He shifted slightly, it was strange the ease with which he said Zuko's name. Almost like a friend. "I told you I wanted you to pretend to like me, and you just said 'yes' on the spot. I want to know why you were so okay with the idea."
She didn't make a single movement at this question. She just stared.
He was becoming antsy but continued, "I mean, YOU, of all people should have been against it. A-against the idea."
She stood silently, he started to sweat. Finally, she replied, "What does it matter Malfoy?"
"I…you didn't elaborate. You just said yes." He muttered, as if he couldn't articulate his point. "Why? After what my family did to you! If it were me, I would have laughed, I would have mocked you, I…I would have told you to bugger off."
"Well, I'm not you, am I?" She interjected a bit heatedly, yet her voice was completely monotone. "You were a simple solution to a temporary problem."
"Bullocks." He replied, a little bit of courage starting to rise in him. "There were plenty of other solutions. You are, after all, the brightest witch of our age." He finished, although that last part was not meant to complimentary, but a statement of fact to reinforce his argument.
She sighed, but it wasn't one of exasperation. She was stalling. "Well, maybe I just felt sorry for you."
"I don't want your pity Granger." He said resolutely.
"Well, Malfoy, I don't really remember asking your permission, did I?" She replied crossly.
He had never really heard her speak like this before.
"Just drop it, Malfoy." She said, still staring out into the beautiful night sky that seemed to both darken and illuminate the world around them.
"I can't do that, Granger. Why did you do it? Why do you pity me? You, of all people, shou-"
"Stop telling me what I SHOULD have done! Stop acting as if you know me!" She turned from the balcony and walked briskly away from him, heading towards the door. Suddenly, she felt a strong hand clasp her upper arm. She whirled around to see his face mere inches away from hers.
"I don't recall asking your permission." He said quietly, looking down into her eyes, searching for something. "Tell me, Granger."
She could feel his breath cascading across her face as he spoke. She could see it puffing out of his lips. They had left the protection of the atmospheric charm and suddenly she noticed the world was much colder. Suddenly, she noticed she was exposed. "Let me go." She whispered, and there was fear in her voice, but it wasn't caused by him.
He didn't relent his grasp, but tightened it ever so slightly. "Tell me." He whispered again. She was silent and for the first time, steel grey saw chocolate brown. Really saw it, really saw the person behind the facades that they had created for each other. She faltered. "BECAUSE OF HER!" She yelled.
He released her suddenly, but she didn't move a step, she merely turned her face away from him. He saw the tears glittering down her cheeks and for the second time in his life, he wished he could do something to erase them. Yet he made no move to comfort her, too paralyzed by fear. Just like the first time. "I…I don't understand." He said quietly, if they hadn't been so close she would never had heard him.
"I- I can feel her! Inside of me!" She choked out. "She-she makes me feel so ANGRY. She makes me so C-CONFUSED. I-I don't…I don't feel like ME! I…I don't know who I AM anymore!" She spluttered, more talking to herself than to him.
He stared at her for a bit before instantly realizing who she was referring to. He spoke quietly, carefully, "Bellatrix?"
She didn't reply, she didn't look at him, she only nodded her head shakily.
"The Cruciatus Curse? After all this time?" He said quietly.
"Always." She whispered. Her reply came out in a ragged, hopeless sob.
"Gr…Granger…don't-" He started but was cut off by a sudden blazing look from her befitting Bellatrix herself.
"So you want to know why I said yes? You want to know why I didn't laugh at your groveling!" She yelled and there was a terrifying sharpness to her tone that was, also, befitting of Bellatrix herself. "BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN! NOT THE MONSTER WHOSE PUTRID MAGIC STILL COURSES THROUGH MY VEINS! MAGIC THAT MAKES MY BONES ACHE AND MY MUSCLES BURN! MAGIC THAT MAKES ME ANGRY, HATEFUL, CALCULATED…UNYIELDING! I HATE THAT SHE STILL HAS POWER OVER ME! I HATE THAT SHE CAN STILL MAKE ME BEG FOR RELEASE! HELPING YOU SEEMED LIKE ALL I COULD DO TO FEEL AGAIN! TO REMEMBER WHAT I USED TO BE LIKE! THE PITY MAKES ME REMEMBER HERMIONE!"
She laughed deliriously, then looked as though she was going to fall, and he moved in swiftly to support her, not meaning to do it. Not thinking about it. He had been doing this a lot lately.
Gently, he pulled her up until she was standing again, and tilted her face up to his. He could feel the terror starting to throb within him but he had to be strong. For her. Of all people, only for her.
"But don't you see Granger? You didn't do this for me, because of her. It's you. You are still you. You've always been you. My aunt would never take pity. On anyone. My aunt would never have helped Zuko and his friends and…she would never have helped me." He said quietly. "Her poison may be inside you but…it's only temporary. I know it."
"How? How do you know it?" She whispered, looking into his eyes.
"Because…" He swallowed hard, but he couldn't have stop comforting her even if he wanted to. He couldn't stop the truth. "Because a person like you can't be conquered by something as trivial as the Cruciatus curse. I knew it that day at Malfoy Manor. The day you lied about that sword, the day you made me wish I had the courage to stop her from hurting you. The first time I wanted to make your tears go away, even if I couldn't bring myself to do it." His eyes closed, and there was a profound guilt in his words. "I had never felt that way before for anyone but my family. There is just…something about you Granger. Your magic has always been stronger than most, stronger than mine…and definitely stronger than Bellatrix's. Your magic will over come her, eventually. You can't be defeated Granger. I thought you knew that."
And then they were looking at each other, all alone on a pristine November night high above the grounds of Hogwarts.
"I hope your right." She said to him.
"I know I'm right." He replied.
They were silent for a moment, and all that could be heard was the gentle, content groan of Appa from somewhere deep within the Dark forest.
"You know, there is good inside you too, Malfoy." She said quietly, as the wind wound softly through the treetops.
"Right." He said half-heartedly.
"It's true." She continued, looking deep into his eyes now. He stared back at her. Her gaze seemed to lock him into her.
"I knew it that day at Malfoy M…" She swallowed hard, as if saying the name of that accursed place sliced right into her heart. "I knew it that day at M-Malfoy Manor. The day you tried not to turn Harry over to Bellatrix."
He looked away from her and squeezed his eyes shut so tight it hurt. "But I turned you in. You and Weasley. I told her it was you. I…"
She clasped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her, to look into her eyes. "But you didn't turn in Harry! Don't you see? If you had, she would have called Voldemort-" He winced at the name, she continued, "-on the spot! She would never have seen the sword! You bought us time!"
"It was nothing…" He said, his eyes starting to water.
"It was EVERYTHING Malfoy! That little bit of time…it saved our lives! Malfoy, you may have been a right prat in all the time I have known you at Hogwarts…but there is good inside you. You were never meant to be a monster." She finished.
He searched her eyes, searched them for the slightest bit of sarcasm, of doubt. All this time, he had hoped and prayed that the wizarding world would forgive him. He had discovered that it wouldn't be that easy. For how could the world forgive him when he couldn't forgive himself? But there, in her eyes, he saw it for the first time. It was feint and he knew it wasn't complete, but it was there. Forgiveness. After all this time. Perhaps, always.
They gazed at each other just a little longer, locked in this painful, torrid, desperate, cathartic embrace.
"You know, I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss muggle lips." He whispered.
She looked into his eyes and suddenly, fear rose inside of her. He had been amazingly reassuring, had been so unlike himself in this stolen moment…But there was no way in Hell that she would kiss him. There was no way she would feel THAT way about him. Then, she realized how close they were. She realized how hard he was holding her. Oh spirits no, she thought. Suddenly, she stiffened, terrified of what would happen next.
He looked at her for a little longer when he moved slowly, and suddenly she was hit with a choice, fight or flight. But just as she was deciding what to do, he held up a piece of paper in her face.
She arched an eyebrow warily at him.
"I was wondering, Granger, if you could teach me how to use a Telefawn." He said, smirking. "There is a muggle girl from a coffee shop in London, who I suspect I've been terribly rude to."
"Coffee shop?" She squeaked out, inching away from him.
"Yea. You're muggle born, I thought you might know how to work one of those damn things. It took me forever to figure out what "calling" meant to a muggle and what all these damn numbers meant but…" He stopped, seeing the look on her face and realized what she must have been thinking.
"Merlin Granger! You didn't think I meant kiss YOU, did you?" He burst out into laughter. "I mean, your attractive enough and all, in the technical sense, but you're not really my type!"
She grew flustered but immensely relieved and quickly composed herself, "Of course not! Don't be daft. I know I'm not your type, I don't have a pug face and a stick up my arse!" She shot back, smirking.
"You sure about that last part?" He replied, recovering from his laughing fit.
She snatched the paper out of his hand and read, "Maybe I can teach you about futbol sometime, call me cutie." Now she was the one laughing raucously, "Icky Draky has a muggle girlfriend? Will that be your pet name then? Cutie pie?"
"Oh please, Granger. You're one to talk. What with this love triangle you've got going on, with Potter and Weasley. I can't say I haven't been wondering lately, which one you were going to go for…" He started absent-mindedly, when he noticed the sudden upset look on her face.
"Granger?" He said cautiously.
"Is…is it that obvious?" She whispered.
"No! I was just joking!" He said hastily, but not necessarily truthfully. He had been suspecting something had been going on with Granger and Potter for a little while now. They acted like they were terrified of each other. He was no idiot. "Really, it's Weasley's fault. Anyone could tell that you fancy him, but he seems to be convinced that you fancy Potter. It's like he's forcing you to consider the possibility or something." He finished thoughtfully. "DO you fancy Potter?"
She didn't reply.
He didn't press the issue, deciding she had enough to be going on with. He removed his cloak and put it around her. "Come on then, let's get back to our common rooms." When she didn't move, he knelt down to her ear, and whispered, "Everything will work itself out. Trust me."
And for some reason, for that small moment, she did.
Eventually, they reached the Head's common and he turned to leave when he stopped abruptly and turned to look at her. She stared at him curiously.
"I should have said this sooner but…thank you, Hermione. For everything," He said.
"Thank you, Draco. For tonight." She replied. Their gazes lingered on each other for a moment and then they parted ways.
For they knew that this night was never about Granger and Malfoy. No, this night belonged entirely to Hermione and Draco.
And no one else.
Hey Kids. So! How many Dramione fans are just absolutely PISSED right now? I have never been a Dramione shipper and I never will be lol. But I had to play that card because I get why the Dramione shippers love the idea so much. To turn hate into love? So dramatic. But I couldn't have her lusting after Harry AND Draco, not only would it be kind of repetitive but it would make Hermione look like some kind of giant Hoebag. Anyways, what did ya think? Was the tension unbearable? I've been wanting to answer the question of Hermione's instant acceptance of Draco from the first chapter for a while now. How about rage Quidditch? Oh the shame! Big ole fat shout outs to Avatarcat12, and Edainer for their reviews. Gods, I do love the review. And the biggest shoutout to Kate for Beta'ing my chapters. And I wanna give a lil chapter dedication to grifthulhu for being my fanboy, or at least a fanboy of ATLA and HP. Thanks for your review. Keep reviewing people! I like to hear comments even if you think it sucked. Be warned though, I will debate with you about it if you do lol. So work is a killer but I'm trying to update this SOMEWHAT quicker but if I take forever I am truly sorry. But take heart kids, cuz this story will continue to be updated up until the very end. And then we will begin work on Book 2. OK! Onward we go! Later Kids.