For those readers who've been loyally reading this for ages, you probably already know: I have a DISCORD. You can find tidbits, maps, images, and more related to FwB, P:TaL, and Z:PoW as well as all my Omake there. In addition there's a few other useful links you might enjoy. If you want to learn more about my writing, go check it out at discord . gg / EDHf6ZG . You might find fun stuff there. :) Like links to my SubStar... where you can find more stuff!
That's enough out of me. Enjoy!

Oh, and in case it hasn't been clear: This fic DOES and WILL CONTINUE to have a lot of Human-ish (Raven) and Beastial (Beast Boy) smut in it. If that's not your cup of tea, you should probably skip it entirely. Other stories that will eventually show up here might not have the same theme though. This is a commissioned story, so when the person requesting it stops wanting it, it'll (maybe) stop. Or just slow down, because I'm quite enjoying writing it.

Part 7

"I don't know, Star," Raven sighed, and ran a hand over her face in a very human-like gesture that felt more out of place than normal given the recent conversation. Somehow, she still wasn't quite sure how it had happened, Starfire knew.

Knew that she and Beast Boy were doing things, sexual things. Yet despite her own probing questions, the normally flighty, bubbly alien girl had proved surprisingly adept at turning her questions on the matter- she had to know if the green stain had blabbed, after all- back on Raven herself.

That had led to a three-hour 'therapy of the shopping mall' session, which Raven had hated quite as much as usual, and then a two-hour 'therapy of the mud bath' session, which she enjoyed a lot more than she had thought she would. The quiet meditation and comforting thickness of the mud around her had been both soothing and emotion-opening in ways the Cambion would not have expected had she never actually experienced it.

It was half an hour into that long bath, after the other soaks and even a brief massage before Raven told her masseuse she just wasn't that comfortable being touched, and it wasn't her fault at all, that she had broken and spilled... well, everything.

How she was not just allowing Beast Boy (on occasion) to spend nights in her room since that first time, and how she enjoyed 'cuddling' with him in animal forms.

That's all she'd said: Cuddling. Maybe once she had used the term snuggling, with soft fur being a thing she had referenced.

But somehow, Starfire knew, and knew it all. The question Raven could not answer was a very pointed one, for all the normally easygoing teen (for all her actual age in Earth years required mental gymnastics Raven had no desire to figure out) seemed just as relaxed as Raven was, it was painfully obvious from her tone that she expected an answer. It wasn't even that hard a question to answer, really. "Are you playing with his emotions?"

The answer was no, of course.

So why had Raven answered the way she had?

She didn't know that, either.

There were a lot of things she was confused about lately, it seemed.
"I am aware that you are having the conflict of feelings," Starfire poked again, this time with a softer voice, "but I do not believe that you do not know what those feelings are. If you do not wish to talk to me, who is your best friend that is a girl, then talk to someone."

"Who?" Raven almost snorted, "I barely know anyone else. Bee? She's got her hands full with an otherwise all-boy team, and Cy chasing after her like a lovesick puppy. I get it, she's amazing, but I don't want to... to put it on her, too, along with everything else."

"You have spoken with the Jinx more often lately during our encounters."

This time, Raven did laugh, out loud. "Jinx? That... no. I'm not handing an enemy of ours that kind of emotional blackmail."

Starfire shrugged, "Then perhaps you should seek professional counseling."

No laughter this time. Instead, the half-demon just turned her head and gave the alien a stink-eye. "Right, that'd go over so well. Excuse me, Doctor, I just have to tell you about all my problems. I'm a half-demon who's hated by almost everyone simply for being what I am- oh, and you too, apparently. Sure, I've dedicated my life to helping people, but who cares- demon. Oh, and there's the trauma of being the product of a rape by a demon, and a mother who I can't ever see and who can barely stand to see me. I was raised by monks, and that helped, but most of them told me I should just die, too... Oh, and now I'm not having sex with, but I am sleeping with and getting intimate with, one of my best friends. One of my best friends who I've only ever touched that way when he was a dog, or a tiger, because apparently that's just how I like it. Yeah, that'd go over really well."

Raven watched both of Starfire's red-orange eyebrows raise. "You... have done the intimate, boyfriend-girlfriend things, with Beast Boy, when friend Beast Boy is a beast?"

Purple lips gaped. Then shut, opened wide, and shut again several times. How- how in the six-hundred-sixty-six layers of the Hells had Starfire gotten her to admit that? And so much worse!

"Yes," she grumbled, sinking lower in the mud so her mouth was almost covered. It did nothing to hide her incredible blush, but it still helped her feel a little better. Or maybe that was... actually admitting it. Out loud. To Starfire, who sometimes couldn't keep her mouth shut, but did respect the girl-talk rules.

"I... see. And Beast Boy is... accepting? Of doing the boyfriend-girlfriend things with you, in that way? He does not... pressure for more?"

"No, not yet," Raven replied quietly, then lifted a brown-covered hand from the mud for a moment, staring at it more as a sensory distraction than anything else. It fell back with a soft plop. "I... he's asked, once, but didn't pressure me. Just asked. He wants to... do it as, uh, himself. I guess."

Starfire's bright eyes searched hers for several moments. "It is you that does not wish to do so with Beast Boy?"

She could only shrug and look away. "It... it isn't that. It's not Beast Boy that's the problem. I mean, he's loud, obnoxious, thinks he's way funnier than he really is, but he's alright. I'm the problem. I'm a freak, Star. A literal abomination. And not for... liking what I like. Liking what I like is because of what I am. Demons are... about as freaky as it gets, as far as what they like for sex. The more painful it is for their partner, the more abusive, the more hurtful, or strange, or even wildly exotic, the better it is for the demon. At least, that's what my research told me. For me, it's... well... not the same, but close enough it feels like it. It isn't that I wouldn't... that I don't want... or... or that I don't like... it's just..."

The words did not want to come out.

Even here, when it was just her and Starfire, in a quiet place away from the Tower, away from their worries, away from (hopefully) any potential eavesdroppers or spies, she could not say it. But Star was right. She had to tell someone, or it would literally eat her up inside. Her emotions were too chaotic. Every day since she had first jerked off the lap-dog Beast Boy, it had gotten worse. She'd let him face-fuck her as a tiger two weeks ago, and almost every day they found time for a little more. Mostly repeat performances, because why would Beast Boy- or any boy or man- turn down a blowjob? But they hadn't gone much further than oral, and she was happy with that. Beast Boy seemed to be, too, at least for now.

"I like him. I might even be... falling in love. But I can't be with him, Star. I just can't. There's reasons, but I can't tell you why. So... so it's better if we don't, um... get that close. That way. If he's... something else, there's... I don't know. A wall? A difference? A bit of... separation?"

"A layer of separation," Star added helpfully.

"Yes, that. I guess... it just makes it... easier. I know it's terrible. I know how he feels, I can't help but know it. But I can't... I can't let myself feel it back. It's just... too dangerous. If he's an animal, I can separate it in my head, at least a little. Keep... keep something of myself back, I guess."

"That... is sad," Starfire replied after several quiet seconds. "I will not ask for your reasons that you cannot allow yourself to love. That is... strange, to me. On Tamaran, emotion- especially the powerful emotions- are let wild and free. Here, on Earth, things are much more restrained. I have... had difficulty adapting. But this is new, to me. This... being unable to allow yourself to love someone you clearly want to."

Raven nodded, "That makes sense. I don't... We've talked about this before. I couldn't have survived growing up on Tamaran, because of the way my powers work. I would have lost control too many times, and I feel like your people- at least enough of you- would be able to put me down for good. ... Then again, maybe we'd all be better off."

That made Starfire's eyes narrow even as they flared with vibrant energy. "My best friend that is a girl is not allowed to think we would be better off without her."

"You don't know why," Raven shook her head, not meeting the other's eyes, "but trust me- you would be. The whole universe would be better off if I didn't exist."

"I do not believe that. None of the others do, either."

'Yeah, well, like I said: You don't know what I know about the reason. If you did... you would agree with me."

"Then tell me."

"I can't."

"Why? Are you afraid that we were not want to be your friends?"

Starfire's question brought Raven's protests up short. Not the first part, she could argue the whys and wherefores for days. But the second sentence... that cut right to the core of the problem. Cut to it with a laser-scalpel's focus, deep and incisive.

She wasn't afraid of the other Titans not being her friends if they found out... she was terrified. The thought was almost worse to her than Trigon's coming. "Yes," she whispered again, and that was it.
Neither said anything for several long, heavy minutes. Eventually, Raven squeezed her eyes shut as she realized they were growing wet, and felt one tear fall down her silver-sheened cheek.

There was a soft motion in the mud, and then she felt two wrong arms wrap around her shoulders from the right. "We will not leave you," Starfire told her. The alien girl's voice was soft, but fierce with barely-restrained fury. "We will not abandon you unless you betray everything that you say you stand for. If you become... like her, then we would still try to save you and help you."

Her. Terra.

Raven didn't need a clarification of who she meant, the waifish blonde's betrayal still stung for all of them, Beast Boy worst of all.

"That's just it," Raven hiccupped, "I wouldn't be able to help it. He's coming, and there's... there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Again, Star's question was simple, but this time, with her arms wrapped around Raven, she felt... better. Stronger. More able, somehow, to handle the emotions that were already turning from a turbulent maelstrom into a raging hurricane. And... it came out. All of it, all at once, in a torrent she would never have expected.

"Trigon, my father, is coming on my sixteenth birthday. I am destined to be the door that lets him into this universe. Even if I die, my corpse is enough. I think Slade's been trying to encourage that with his recent attacks- letting him through the door. Through me.

"You already know my emotions fuel my powers, like yours, but if I lose control of my emotions I lose control of the powers. I can't be with- with Garfield because... I can't... I can't let myself feel that much. It's too close already, what we're doing is just so much to hold back."

"You have been losing control when we are on missions lately," Starfire acknowledged quietly.

"I know, but that's why. It's just so much. I want to, but I can't be with him. If... if we were actually together, if we became lovers... I'd... Trigon would..."

"What? What would happen?"

The question was innocent, a simple prompt for a sentence that had trailed off. Its answer was not so simple, and Raven struggled to put it into words. "The world would end. The universe might, too. If... If we are going to survive my- my sixteenth birthday, I have to be... pure. There's- there's a prophecy."

After another minute, Starfire said, "On Tamaran, we have Seers who are renowned in several systems for their ability to predict the future. But they cannot predict the actions of entities like this Trigon, whom you say is your father. They cannot predict the actions of any beings with more power than themselves. They can predict small things, like whether it will storm or be calm. But the broader the scope of the question, the less accurate they become. You say that the entire universe, all worlds, hang in the balance."
"It does. He's... he's not known as Trigon the Terrible for nothing, Star. He's already devoured more than one entire universe. Ours is just the next in a long line."

Her friend nodded seriously, then rested her head on Raven's shoulder. "I will admit, I struggle to understand a creature that can consume an entire universe. But I know such beings exist. That is not my point, though, friend Raven. If this Trigon can destroy an entire universe completely, then he is far beyond any Seer in this universe's ability to predict."

"It wasn't just a seer," she protested weakly, "It was Azar."

Starfire did not need to ask who Azar was, she knew her friend well enough to know how much the man meant to Raven personally, and professionally. He was her father- and grandfather-figure, her mentor, her primary teacher, and a great advisor all rolled into one. He was also someone who had dedicated hundreds of years to defeating Trigon when he eventually arrived. Still, the orange-skinned young woman could always try a different tactic if the first did not work. "And this prophecy says what?"

"That I am the door through which Trigon will enter our universe, and consume it. On my sixteenth birthday. If I am pure, there is a small chance we- our universe- might survive. If I am not, we are doomed."

"This is the exact wording?"

Raven shook her head, "No, but it's what it means. It wasn't exactly vague."

Starfire frowned. "This smells like the fish."

Aside from the idiom, which took a moment for Raven to parse into 'this smells fishy', she looked sideways at her friend, before eventually turning back forward and letting her own head lay down against Starfire's. "What do you mean?"

"This prophecy was given by Azar, about your father, who-"

"He's not my father. He may have... been the donor, but I..." What, Raven didn't know. She know she loathed and hated him, though, for what he had done to her mother if nothing else.

"Very well. Given to Azar, about Trigon, who is more powerful. I have not met this Azar, but I believe that his prophecies about Trigon are suspect. In addition, all prophecy is suspect. Finally, we will still be there beside you. We do not abandon our friends. We are Teen Titans. We fight together."

Raven swallowed. "Thank you."

"That is what the friends are for, is it not?"

Raven nodded.

Again, several long minutes went by without either woman saying anything.

Raven jumped, half-asleep, when Starfire did. "About the thing with the animals and Beast Boy, as long as you are in agreement, then I do not see a problem. I do not wish my friends to hurt each other, but I am very blorch to see you finally accepting some of your own feelings."

Her face turned scarlet. "Wh- What does that mean?"

Star giggled once, "The closest direction translation takes several words. It refers to feeling giddy with happiness that two friends who have danced around each other for years have finally done the wising up and become the couple."

Gray skin on Raven's cheeks turned more red. "W- We aren't... um... together, you know. Beast Boy and I. We're... just friends, with a little extra. I can't be his girlfriend, Star."

"That is true," Starfire replied sagely, as if she were dispensing great wisdom, "but you have made a step toward that. Now, we must get you to admit that you are wanting to do the jumping of Beast Boy's beastly bones. ... That phrase makes no sense. Your Earth English is weird. Why does jumping over your not-boyfriend's skeleton relate to doing the shorgatt dance?"

"The... the what?" Raven lifted her head to stare in confusion as Starfire lifted a single finger to her lips.

"I think the people of Earth used to call it the... Mambo of the Horizontal? The mating."

"S- Starfire!"

"What? I do not see what is wrong. People do it all the time. I do the shorgatt dance with Robin at least twice a week."

Raven almost buried her face in her hands, but thankfully remembered they were covered in mud just before she made contact. "Ugh, I did not need to know that. He's like my brother. How- how long has that being going on, anyway? I didn't know you were- wait, never mind, I don't want to know."

"We have been doing the sex for more than one of the Earth years. But I will spare you more details. I am glad that you and friend Garfield are exploring that, though. It is a stress relief of maximum effect. It may help you get your feelings in order."

"But... you..." Raven swallowed. There was suddenly a huge lump in her throat. It seemed to be comprised of a variety of things. As best she could tell, it was about thirty percent trepidation, twenty-two percent relief, and forty-six percent or so confusion, with trace elements of other things filling in the rest. "You... don't, well... think it's weird? About... the animals?"

"I do not."

Raven blinked at the flat, easy to understand reply. "But... but why?"

Starfire sighed, then sank back into the mud so that she was about at the same level Raven was while she composed her thoughts. "I am not the best person to ask about this, friend Raven, but since you have asked me, I will tell you. Perhaps it will help. I am... approximately forty-three Earth years of age."
"Okay, that's good to know," Raven told her. She had, after all, been wondering that lately.

"So when I say that I have formed a close personal bond with Robin, know that I mean it. Tamaraneans do not feel lightly. We... do not give of ourselves lightly. I love Galfore because he has given of himself for me for my entire life. I love my friends, because you all give freely of yourselves. I am honored to give of myself for you. Do you understand?"

"I think so," Raven nodded, "but I don't see how that relates to-"

"I will explain. I am the equivalent of a human nineteen year old."

"Yes, okay."

"I was sold into slavery by my dear sister when I was the equivalent of twelve."

"So... you were... well, it was about fifteen years ago? Earth years?"

"Yes. When I say slavery, keep in mind that- this is difficult for me to say- that I mean Blackfire made it clear who I was. There were tyrants, kings, emperors, and more who wanted to lay claim, to take, a mighty Tamaranean princess. Many did. I was used, taken, controlled, a hundred thousand times before I was able to escape."

Raven gasped, and this time her hands did cover her mouth, mud and all. "Oh, shit, Star... I had no idea."

The alien girl shrugged, "I do not mind. It was in the past, and those events helped shape me into who I am."

"Still, that- that's horrible. You- you know how I was..."

"I do know," Starfire reminded her, turning blazing green eyes over to Raven, who had sat up in shock. "Because you understand, I am... comfortable telling you. For fifteen Earth years, again and again. Sometimes by rulers, and sometimes I was handed off to their guards or soldiers as a plaything. Entire legions. Most of those, now, lay in waste once I was able to unleash my fury. But I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me, Friend Raven. I am telling you this so that you know that I understand. I understand things beyond our control. I understand feeling helpless. But you are not. I am not. We are not. There is more, though."

"G- Go on, even if I'm not sure how you can... be so calm about that."

"Because I would not be me without it," Starfire said simply, "I am who I am partly because that happened. Before that, I was the brat of most spoiled. I have learned through it. Now, on to the important matter. I have been the mate of thirty-six distinct species and nineteen sub-species. Many were... grotesque. Some were strangely pleasurable, even in the torture. I much prefer the human physiology myself, but... it is not hard for me to imagine enjoying the mating with other creatures. If it is what you enjoy, then I say to enjoy it. As long as you cause no harm to your relationship with Garfield."

Raven swallowed once more. That was... a lot of heavy loads dropped, all at once.

Starfire being repeatedly raped, even gang-raped from when she was effectively just hitting puberty until she had escaped and made her way to Earth, where she had met the four other Titans purely by chance? That alone was worthy of several days of contemplation.

But the rest, on a more personal note...

"Besides, on Tamaran, we do the shorgatt dance freely in several festivals. With each other, with friends, with family, or even with pets. All those we are close to. I do not think I am in a place to judge you, Friend Raven. You are holding yourself to the standards of an Earth society. You are only part human. Your needs might be different. Mine are. If I were not regularly mating, my powers would diminish through lack of care. It is partially through mating that we maintain our strength of emotion. You and I are... not so different in that, I think. Perhaps your powers are less controlled not because your emotions are in chaos, but because you are simply stronger?"

While Raven pondered what her friend had told her, the alien girl rose smoothly from the mud bath, and once more she was struck by just how beautiful her lithe but curvy body was. Starfire didn't wait, though. Instead she stepped out and moved smoothly over toward the showers, dripping the pleasant-smelling, lavender- and rose-hip scented mud as she went. "We should probably get back soon, Friend Raven. Our time is almost up. I hope this therapy of the spa helped."

Raven could only shake her head as she realized her face was covered in two muddy hand-prints, and stand up herself. "You know, I think it did?"