AN: Hello hello! I know it's been a while, sorry, but my uni work had to take priority (obviously). And I keep adding creative projects to my plate, which is really smart of me when I have very little time to do it all, but... oh well. It's here now. Hope you like it!

Chapter 5: Monster Movie

"Oh, we still got to see the new "Raiders" movie."

Sam shrugged as he adjusted his tie. "Saw it."

Dean stopped in his tracks, incredulous. "Without me?"

"Dude. You were in hell."

"That's no excuse!" He sighed theatrically, before lighting up at the sight of a food stand on the other side of the square. "Big pretzels!"

Sam rolled his eyes and grinned as his older brother marched over to the stand, buying two of the giant pretzels and bringing them back over. He accepted the one he was offered with a nod of thanks, both of them biting into the soft bready goodness. As they stood enjoying the snacks, a pretty blonde in traditional German dress passed in front of them, smiling politely.

"Guten tag."

Through a mouthful of pretzel, Dean shot her a smile. "Guten tag yourself."

Spotting the person they'd actually been looking for - a man in sheriff's uniform who was heading their way - Sam nudged him in the ribs and got his attention back to the task at hand.

"Looks like that's our man. Sheriff Dietrich."

He looked them up and down. "Are you the boys from the fed?"

"Yeah that's us. Agents Angus and Young. We called ahead about your, uh, problem."

The appearance of their badges made him a little happier. Of course, what he didn't know was that they were blatant fakes. By now, they were good enough at doing this that nobody ever knew. Not until it was far too late, anyway. "Right. Um...I'll tell you what, why don't we talk this out away from the crowd, huh?"

As he led them to the town's morgue, he briefly talked them through why he'd called them in. It wasn't as overtly odd as their usual targets, but something about it had clearly been enough to make Bobby send them off to check it out. Not that they'd needed much encouragement - Oktoberfest, with gallons of beer and hundreds of pretty women? It would have been impossible to convince them not to go.

Pulling the body from it's cupboard in the freezer, the Sheriff tugged the sheet away from the slender corpse and gave them a moment to observe what lay before them. "Marissa Wright, 26, just up from Lockhart for the ' . Just terrible. It's the last thing this town needs at peak tourist season."

Sam managed a tight lipped smile. "Definitely the last thing Marissa Wright needed."

She certainly wasn't the messiest they had ever seen: when you've seen bodies ripped to shreds, insides that should most definitely not be on the outside, an unmarked body is hardly anything terrible. Other than the pale shroud of death that cradles everyone at the end, she looked entirely ordinary.

That was, until Dean placed two fingers on her jaw and gently turned her head to the side.

"What the hell?"

There were two puncture marks in the side of her neck, ink-dark against her almost translucent skin.

The Sheriff nodded. "Yeah, you got me. I mean, this killer's some kind of grade-"A" wacko, right? I mean, some satan-Worshipping, Anne Rice-Reading, gothic, psycho vampire wannabe."

"Sheriff, in your report, you mentioned a witness."

"Yeah,I wished I didn't. But our witness insisted. That's Ed Brewer. Not exactly what you'd call reliable."

When he explained where they'd be most likely to find Ed Brewer, they understood why such aspersions against his reliability were being cast. And so the brothers went to each bar, one by one. In the fourth, they found him.

The waitress behind the bar was the young woman they'd seen earlier, and she smiled widely.

"I remember you!"

"And I remember you…" Dean paused to read her name tag - which took far longer than it should have, given that he was rather distracted by the low cut neckline of her blouse. "Jamie. I never forget a pretty...everything."

Trying not to roll his eyes, Sam cut in. "We're looking for Ed Brewer."

Jamie raised an eyebrow, arms folding over her chest. "What do you want with Ed?"

Dean whipped out his badge. "Well, we are, uh...federal agents. Mr. Brewer was a witness to a serious crime."

She looked even less convinced at that. "You're a fed? Wow, you don't come on like a fed. Seriously?"

"I'm a maverick, ma'am. A rebel with a badge. If there's one thing I don't play by, it's the rules."

Sam huffed. "Okay, maverick. Cool it. So Jamie, where can we find Mr. Brewer?"

Ed Brewer was starting on yet another stein of beer; nobody could give an accurate idea of just how many he'd had so far. As they sat down, he looked at them like they were about to bite.

"I told the cops everything I saw. No one believes me. Why should you be any different?"

Eyeing up the stein like he wanted one for himself, Dean, shrugged. "Believe me, Mr. Brewer, we're different."

"I spoke God's honest truth. And now, everyone in this stupid town is looking at me like I'm some kind of a joke."

"Marissa Wright's murder is no joke to us. And we want to hear everything, No matter how strange it may seem."

The corner of Sam's mouth twitched upwards. "We have a lot of experience with strange."

Ed sighed, looked at them cautiously for another moment more, and decided to talk. "It was just after midnight. I just left here, and like I do every night, I cut through the park on the way home.I saw… At first, I thought it was a couple kissing. But she was... struggling too didn't look normal. And this man, He was… Well, he was biting her neck."

"Can you describe her assailant?"

"Oh, he was a vampire."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Okay, right. And by that, you mean -"

"You know, a vampire."

"Uh-Huh."

"Yeah. So, he looked like… what?"

"He looked like a vampire. You know, with the fangs and the slicked-back hair, and the fancy cape. Oh, and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon."

"You mean like… a Dracula?"

"Exactly. Like a Dracula. Right down to the accent."

"The…" Sam looked completely baffled. "What did he say?"

"You know, something like…" Ed took a moment to think, before raising his arm to mimic holding a cape across his face. "'Stay away, mortal! The night is mine!' You do believe me, don't you?"

Jamie leant against the bar next to her friend Lucy, apologising softly to the girl she brushed elbows with as she walked by. The brunette wasn't someone she recognised, but she was in uniform so she must've been new - she just politely smiled back and continued on her way. Forgetting about it, she stared in the direction the two rather handsome officers had gone.

"They must be here following up on that murder woman."

Lucy twisted a finger beside her ear. "Crazy Ed and his vampire story."

"He might be weird, but he's not crazy."

"Look, you're just saying that beause the guy has a crush on you and he tips you in $20s."

Someone called for her and she left, tossing the napkin that she'd been using to blot her lips onto the bar just as Dean walked up, shooting Jamie a smile.

"So, you got a beer back there for me?"

She shrugged, a light smirk catching her face. "I don't know, agent Young. You off duty?"

"And then some."

Another customer called and she left, just missing Sam as he came up to join his brother.

"So, what do you think?"

Dean snorted. "Goth, psycho vampire wannabe, right?"

"Definitely not our kind of case."

"Agreed. But who cares?" Spotting a clear table, they settled down. "Room's paid for, and it's Oktoberfest. Come on, brother. Beer and bar wenches. What more could you want?"

Sam shook his head. "Pretty sure women today don't react well to the whole "wench" thing, Dean."

Catching sight of Jamie, he raised a hand. "Hey, bar wench, where's that beer?

A saccharine smile appeared on her face. "Coming up, good sir!"

He turned back to his little brother and grinned. "Dude, Oktoberfest."

Bringing his drink over, she smiled politely at Sam.

"There you go. And what can I get you?"

Dean cut in before he could even open his mouth. "Oh, he doesn't drink.. He's a christian scientist, doesn't even take aspirin. He's a real drag on stakeouts."

"Yeah, you're funny."

"I'm a lot more than that. I'd love to get a chance to show you the rest. What time you get off tonight?"

"Ha ha. Like I said. Funny." And she walked off - not without shooting him a wink.

He settled back against the booth seat, a satisfied smile painting his face.

"Man, it is time to right some wrongs."

Sam looked at him blankly. "Come again?"

"Look at me. I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? You know, bullet wounds, knife cuts. None of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks. I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Other than the funky hand marks, obviously, but they happened after I died. Which leads me to conclude, sadly… that my virginity is intact."

"You- what?"

"I have been re-hymenated."

"Re- Oh, please, Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell. But no one could do that. Nobody."

"Brother, I have been re-hymenated. And the dude will not abide."

"Well. All right, dude. You go do whatever you gotta do, And I'm gonna go back to the room and get some sleep. Please, just be quiet when you come back."

He got up and left, shaking his head in bemusement.

He'd barely been alone for a minute before the seat in front of him was full again.

"Your pickup tactics are terrible, dude."

Brunette. Lederhosen. Raised eyebrow and one foot up on the bench. It took him all of five seconds to work out that it was Jophiel - and the next thirty to scrape his jaw off the table.

"You- I- what the-"

"Are you no longer capable of full sentences, Dean? Because if you aren't I'm pretty sure there's some chimpanzees at the local zoo I could have a more intellectual conversation with."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Checking in." She shrugged, taking a mouthful from his beer stein. He hadn't even noticed that she'd taken it. "This is one of your cases, you know."

He shook his head, trying to find what little common sense he had. "It really isn't. We just checked."

"Not very well. Trust me, there's something unusual going on here."

"Can you tell me what?"

"Nope."

He groaned. "Why not?"

"Because it's your job to work things out."

"Did you come down here just to get up my ass?"

"Maybe." She shrugged, then sighed. "Okay, yes. But only because Castiel is getting up mine."

"How?"

"There's a lot going on, and he's been more insufferable than usual."

He frowned. "What do you mean, a lot?"

"It's… complicated. I can't explain it now. But you'll find out soon enough."

Drinking deeply from the stein, he sighed as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "When? 'Cause I'm getting pretty tired of being in the dark all the time."

But in the fraction of a second that his eyes had been closed, she had vanished.

Jamie came back to the table, laughing softly at the look of irritation on his face.

"Get stood up by the new girl, huh? The evening really isn't going well for you. Did you catch her name? I must've missed it when she started."

"Yeah, it's-" And he paused for a second, thinking. Surely he couldn't give her full name, there'd be too many questions. Jophiel was not something that normal people were named. "She's Joey. And no, I didn't get stood up. She's an… old friend. Haven't seen her in a while, she just dropped by to say hi. Anyway, never mind her. How about tonight?"

She shrugged. "Oh, sorry. I promised Lucy a girls' night out. Besides, no self-respecting bar wench lets herself get picked up by a customer on the first try."

"Well, I'm not a customer. I'm a federal agent."

"You'll have to try again tomorrow, G-Man."

He sighed. "I wish I could, but… I don't think we're staying on the case."

"What - is it too weird for you?"

Nah. Just not weird enough."

Thick fog. The car was parked up in a quiet spot on the edge of town, one where people didn't drive often. It was a pretty popular hookup spot, and that's exactly what it was being used for now. Well, not quite. She wasn't quite convinced on that idea just yet.

"Rick, did you hear that?"

There'd been something like a howl, not too distant, and it scared her. But her boyfriend seemed preoccupied with trying to get to her tits beneath her bra. "Huh?"

"It sounded like a wolf."

"Come on baby, don't change the subject. I told you what could happen to a man if he doesn't-"

Anna-Marie rolled her eyes. "Those stories aren't true."

"Oh, they are! Baby, if a man doesn't get the stuff out of his system regularly, it can back up and cause all kinds of… uh… medical type problems, you know?"

He leant in to kiss her again, but another sound caught her attention first, and she turned her head. "Come on, you must have heard that!"

"Anna-Marie, there aren't any wolves in Pennsylvania. Stop being stupid."

He'd barely finished the sentence when a pair of huge furry hands shattered the glass of the drivers-side window and tugged Rick out of the car,

"And then it just- It just tore Rick into little pieces."

Sam and Dean sat there, a little awestruck by how casually the young woman described the encounter. She sucked at the straw of her milkshake the entire time, like her drink was the most important thing in the world at that very moment.

Dean still tried to go down the empathetic route, even if it didn't seem like she needed it. "Ma'am, we understand how hard this is, But can you describe the creature?"

"Oh. It was a werewolf."

Sam frowned. "A werewolf? You're sure?"

"Oh, yeah. With the furry face and the black nose, and the claws and the torn-up pants and shirt. Like from the old movies."

Neither of them really knew how to respond to that.

"Um, well…"

"Okay, so…"

Eventually they settled on, "Thank you for your time."

They left her there, sat with her full attention on the milkshake like it was just an average day, and her boyfriend hadn't just been murdered in front of her eyes. Things were definitely getting weirder around here.

This time, the corpse they found in the morgue was in a far worse state than Marissa's had been. Dean ran a hand over his face, staring at the bloody mess before them. "First a dracula and now a full-on movie-time wolf man? What the hell is going on in this town?"

With a pencil and a look of faint disgust, Sam started to poke at the bite marks on the body.

"Alright. Whatever did this wasn't a psycho wannabe. Look at those bite marks. They go right down to the bone, and deeper."

"Strong enough to tear a healthy man apart limb from limb. Could be a werewolf."

"Yeah, except, look. The heart's still there in one piece. They never leave the heart behind."

"Thus I reiterate, what the hell is going on?"

Standing in the doorway with an evidence bag in hand, the Sheriff looked completely exhausted.

"Well, I was hoping you boys could tell me. I just got a rush job back from the lab on those fibers we found on the body. Canine. Wolf hairs."

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, this is giving me a headache."

This time, when they got into the bar, both of them ordered a drink. By the time they'd sat back down at their table, Dean had already downed half of his.

"I don't know, man. Looks like we've stumbled on to a midnight showing of "Dracula meets wolf man." It doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know. I mean, wolf man seems real enough. It makes Dracula seem a little less impossible, I guess."

"Yeah, but werewolves don't grow wolf hair. That's just a myth."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, what? We've got a vampire and a werewolf monster mashing this town? Joey was right, this has to be one of ours."

Sam's brow creased in confusion. "Joey?"

"Oh, Jophiel. She swung by just after you left last night."

He looked hurt all of a sudden. "She's been to see you again? Why didn't she come by while I was still here?"

"Hey man, I didn't ask, okay? I was distracted by the wench get-up. Look, sometimes she comes down to get away from the others. Apparently most angels have a bit of a stick up their ass, so… she gets bored."

"You make it sound like you're friends." He muttered, picking at the buttons holding his shirtsleeves together. "Nickname and everything."

"Well, she doesn't know I call her that. Yet. We're not friends."

Sam didn't respond to that, and the two of them fell into an awkward silence until Jamie came by with more beer.

"Looks like you guys are staying a while. I heard about Rick Deacon."

Dean scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, this case just got weird enough for… our department."

"Well, beers are on me. And, just so you know, I get off at midnight tonight."

"Oh, it's not another, uh, girls' night out?"

"Doesn't have to be."

"Okay, then. I'll see you tonight."

"Okay, then." Blushing a little, she returned to the bar, occasionally shooting a look in their direction every now and then.

Dean looked thoughtful for a second as he finished the first stein. "Hey, you think this Dracula could turn into a bat? That would be cool."

Sam just stared at him blankly.

They only managed to get a couple of hours of peace in the bar before something else happened, the Sheriff calling in to drag them away from their happy little bubble of booze and stupid chatter. Well, Dean's stupid chatter anyway. Sam had been almost silent since Jophiel was brought into the conversation, only contributing soft noises in appropriate places. He was very glad to have the distraction of another death to take his mind off things.

While the actual police dealt with the fresh body on the scene, the brothers concentrated on the biggest piece of evidence nearby - the Egyptian sarcophagus halfway between the museum's loading door and the storage area. It, like many other things related to this case, was not as it originally seemed.

"This sarcophagus isn't ancient." Sam waved a flimsy paper tag under his brother's nose. "It's from a prop house in Philly."

"Well…" And Dean lifted up a slightly smoking bucket. "It goes well with the bucket of dry ice he was keeping in it."

"Is he making his own special effects?"

"Yeah, a mummy with a good sense of showmanship."

"This is stupid."

Dean nodded in agreement, shooting a glance at his watch before checking it properly and groaning. "Oh, damn it. Jamie. I'm late. You're good here with the mummy and the... crazy stuff?"

Sam waved him away. "Yeah, yeah. Go."

Tired of shivering in the cool midnight air, Jamie sighed. "Your loss, G-Man." As she moved to head in the direction that would take her home, a tall figure blocked her path. It moved slightly into the light, revealing a man wearing what could only be a Halloween costume - and a cheap looking one at that. He spoke with an accent, something she could only narrow down to being from a part of Eastern Europe.

"Good evening. I have watched you many nights from afar. My passion knows no bounds! You are the reincarnation of my beloved. And I must have you."

Fumbling in her purse, she backed away, cursing the amount of crap that she kept in there. He took another step towards her, and she found what she was looking for, fingers clasping tight around the slim can. Making sure it was pointed in the right direction, she jammed her thumb down - sending a jet of pepper spray into the creep's face. He cringed back, pawing at his eyes.

"Mary, son of a…"

Dean arrived in time to crash into Jamie, steadying her so she wouldn't fall. "Jamie! Are you-?" He stopped as he registered just who else he was looking at. "Son of a bitch."

Dracula looked affronted. "You should not use such language In the presence of my bride."

He shrugged, tucking Jamie behind him. "Okay. If you say so." And then he socked the caped bastard as hard as he could. "Jamie, run!"

"You have no choice in the matter, Mr. Harker. Mina is mine!" Dracula angled himself in an attempt to sink his teeth into Dean's neck, but he didn't realise just how experienced a fighter his opponent was. Gripping the first thing he could get a hand on - an ear - Dean pulled as hard as he could: and the ear came off in his hand. Dracula roared in pain and fled, with Dean in pursuit. He made it to a fence and leapt over it, and Dean watched in disbelief as he hopped onto a moped and sped away.

As always, Sam was quick to respond to Dean's text message, appearing in the pub he'd taken Jamie to in less than ten minutes. The girl looked shaken, but steady.

"Hey. You guys all right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I think so. And I think I know what's going on." Looking rather proud of himself, he laid a folded napkin on the table.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Well, part of it at least. Go on."

He unfolded the fabric, scrunching his nose at the sight of the lump of flesh in the centre of it.

"Uh, the ear part?"

"Ripped it off of Dracula's head. Touch it. Feel familiar to you?"

He did so, face falling as he realised what it was. "Oh, man."

"The skin of a shapeshifter, Just like St. Louis and just like Milwaukee. Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. Oh, and, uh...I pulled this off during the fight." He tugged a poorly made medallion from one of his jacket pockets and tossed it over. "Look at the label on the ribbon."

"It's a… costume rental."

"All three monsters. The Dracula, wolf man, and the mummy. All the same critter, Which means we need to catch this freak before he pulls a 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' on somebody.

Finally recovering her ability to speak, Jamie looked between the two of them incredulously.

"So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something… and the X Files are real?"

"No, The X Files is a TV show. This is real."

"Oh."

Sam continued to brainstorm aloud.

"Okay, so, the stagecraft, the costuming… it's like he's trying to reenact his favorite monster-movie moments, Right down to the bloody murder."

Jamie frowned, remembering something, and cut in. "Wait a second. Who the hell is Mina?"

"Mina?"

Dean pulled a face. "Yeah. That's what he called Jamie. And he called me mr. Harker."

Sam looked between the two of them, baffled that neither had made that connection already.

"Jonathan Harker? They're characters from the movies and the novels: Mina, Dracula's intended bride, Harker, the fiance. Seems like he's fixating on you. Like he sees you as his bride."

She huffed. "Wow. Lucky me, I guess."

"But to fixate on you, My guess is that the shifter has to have seen you before, or been around you."

Dean nodded. "Jamie, has anybody strange come to town, Somebody that has taken a specific notice of you?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know, Dean. It's Oktoberfest. I'm a bartender. There's lots of people. I…" And then, her expression shifted a little as a thought burst into her mind. "Wait a second. There is Ed."

"Ed as in, Ed Brewer?"

"Yeah. He moved here about a month ago. Lucy swears he has a crush on me, he comes in almost every night… But, you know, I don't think he's the type of guy-"

Dean shook his head. "Nobody ever thinks that anyone is 'that type of guy'. Where does Ed live?"

"I don't know. But he works at the old movie theater, I think he's a projectionist there."

Sam got up, brushing imaginary dirt off his trousers. "Take care of, uh, Mina?"

His brother grinned. "Yep. I can do that."

It probably took ten minutes, accounting for the number of interruptions she made, for Dean to give Jamie the rough rundown of what the world was actually like. Minus the bit about angels - he really didn't understand that whole chestnut well enough to try and crack it now. Jamie was pacing up and down in front of the booth while he sipped at a whiskey, trying to come to terms with the truth.

"So, monsters are real."

"Some of them, yeah."

"And the shapeshifter… he can turn into different people."

"Yeah. Yeah,except this one's turning into the great monsters of screenland. Which is a new one for me, I gotta admit."

"You're not really FBI, are you?"

"Not so much."

"So, this is what you do? You and your partner just tramp across the country on your own dime. Until you find some horrible nightmare to fight?"

He shrugged. "Some people paint."

She shook her head, incredulous. "Wow"

"What?"

"That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible… I don't know, responsibility."

He hadn't quite expected that, to be perfectly honest. Most new people thought it was pretty cool, running around and saving people. It was quite nice to have someone see things differently. "Last few years, I started thinking that way, And, uh, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before…" He stopped unsure of how exactly to approach it. "A little while ago, I had this… it's called a near-death experience. Mine was, uh, very near. And, uh… when I came to...things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, though. I save them. I guess it's- it's awesome. It's kind of like a gift… Like a mission.

Kind of like a... a mission from God."

The words felt like they were sticking in his throat, but Jamie didn't seem to notice. It was a lot for him to admit, but she was far more interested in the religious aspect of things.

"So, does that make you...some kind of monk or something? You know, celibate?"

He finally managed a genuine laugh. "Man, I hope not."

And he leant in and pressed his lips to hers.

They were interrupted by the lights flickering on above them, and a soft laugh of shock.

"Holy crap. Oh, my god. Jamie. Guys, I'm, I'm sorry. I thought you guys were going out."

Jamie, red in the face, shook her head. "Lucy, it's… It's okay. Honest."

"Uh, listen- You know what? I just came to borrow a bottle, I kind of got something going back at mine… anyway, uh, you guys look really busy, So I'm just gonna get out of your hair."

"Seriously, Lucy, it's been a crazy night. Stay for a drink."

Dean looked significantly less pleased by that idea, but agreed nonetheless. He didn't want to look rude. "Yeah. Stay for a drink."

The local movie theatre had all the hallmarks of being some creepy creature's lair. The shadows in the corners seemed almost alive with the way the moonlight shifted through the dusty windows, every floorboard creaked in a different tone. The Phantom of the Opera was showing on the screen, soundless - it was accompanied by a swell of organ music that came from the very front of the space. Ed was on the stage beneath, pouring every ounce of sober passion he had into the ivory keys of the beautiful instrument. Gun in hand, Sam approached as slowly as he could: partly to avoid startling the man and mostly to avoid making the floor creak unnecessarily. He raised the weapon in synchrony with the crux of the piece, ready to use it as needed. And then the piece changed into something jaunty and cheerful, Ed's whole body relaxing as he leant into the piece. Until he noticed the giant shadow looming over him, that was. Turning to see a gun uncomfortably close to his head, he held his hands up in surrender.

"Whoa! You, Mr FBI guy, what did I-?"

"Shut up, okay, you know what you did."

"What?"

"I know what you are."

"I-I'm not anything, I just like to play the casio."

"Had time to grow the ear back, huh?" Sam grabbed Ed's ear and pulled with all his might.

"What?! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

But no matter how much force he used, it simply refused to detach from his head. He let go, baffled, and Ed clutched the side of his head.

"It's supposed to come off."

"No, it's not!"

And he realised that a terrible mistake had been made.

On the other side of the table, Lucy was humming sympathetically through Jamie's story, gasping in shock in all the right places as she topped up their drinks. "Oh, that sounds awful. Jamie, honey, are you okay?"

"Oh, I am fine. He didn't even touch me. Dean, he just blew right in and fought him off."

He shrugged, looking rather pleased with her description. "Well, I didn't actually fly, But I'm sure it seemed that way at the time."

"It was really, really something." Jamie yawned, leaning heavily against his shoulder, and he frowned down at her.

"Jamie? You okay?"

Lucy looked impressed. "So, Dean, are you like a black belt or what? Well,I guess they train you to fight at the academy or whatever."

But the glass on the table was swimming in front of his eyes - in fact, the whole room was - and he was starting to feel like he'd missed something big. Very big. Something that was staring him right in the face. He dived across the table to throw a punch at Lucy.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Jamie stumbled upwards, but the change in her centre of gravity enhanced the effect of the drugs she'd been slipped, and she passed out immediately, slumping back down.

Dean looked triumphantly at Lucy, her jaw very clearly dislocated. "It's you, isn't it?"

She shoved her jaw back into place and he went for another hit, this time missing by a mile. It was getting to him too.

"Oh, damn it! What did you put in the drinks?!" Wobbling, he smashed the almost empty bottle against the edge of the table and waved it blindly in front of him, everything going grey. "That's all right. I'll skin you myself."
And then he passed out.

Lucy stared down at the pair of them with a cold smile.

"And...scene."

When Dean woke next, he was upright - and not by choice. He'd been secured with curved metal bars to some kind of medieval torture table in what could only be a dungeon, and dressed in a pair of the most hideous lederhosen he'd ever seen.

"Oh, come on."

As his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room, he realised that Dracula was back - he was stood staring at the portrait of a beautiful woman on the opposite wall. A woman who looked undeniably like Lucy.

"She is beautiful, no? Bride number three, from the first film. She never got the acclaim that she deserved. Which is why I chose her shape, Her form to move among the mortals unnoticed, To listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn In this century."

He'd clearly been monologuing for Dean's benefit, and he rolled his eyes.

"I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, crazy son of a bitch you really are. You're not Dracula. You get that, right? Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the hell's up with the mummy?!"

Dracula crossed the room in a few strides and punched him square in the face.

"I am all monsters!"

"Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of- Ah!" He'd punched him again. As his jaw throbbed, Dracula returned to pacing the odd-shaped room.

"Life is small. Meager. Messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen…elegance."

"You think elegance is really the word for what you did to Marissa? Or Rick Deacon? Or any of the others?!"

"But of course. It is a monster movie, after all."

"You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie?"

"Ah. But this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero, he's...electrocuted." He crossed to an almost comically large lever on the far wall, caressing it with a pale hand. "And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero."

And then, as if things couldn't get any more strange, a doorbell rang.

Dracula laughed, slightly nervously. "Wait, wait, wait, wait. Please, excuse me."

And he swept away down a rather modern looking hallway, leaving Dean there.

When he opened the front door, he was greeted by the sight of an acne-freckled teenager in an ill-fitting uniform, looking more than a little surprised at the sight which had greeted him.

"Good evening."

"Uh...pizza delivery."

"Ah, you've brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service And your life will be spared."

"Uh-huh… Right." He pulled a pizza from his insulated bag. "That'll be $15.50."

"Tell me...is there garlic on this pizza?"

"I don't know. Did you order garlic?"

"No!"

"Then no." The delivery boy sighed, clearly irritated by how long this was taking. "Look, mister, I got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go? Of course, yes, but I have a coupon."

As if this couldn't get any weirder.

The bar was obviously empty when Sam got back there, which wasn't entirely a surprise to him. He dug his phone from his pocket and dialled his brother's number, also not expecting him to actually pick up. "Dean, hey, listen,uh,Ed is not our guy. Um, I'm guessing you're at home with Jamie, So just give me a call, okay?"

The moment he hung up, something started nagging at the back of his mind. Like there was a hand in the centre of his back, a voice in his ear, telling him to use his damn eyes and look at what was in front of him. And that's when he saw what he had been ignoring. The shards of glass sprayed across the floor. The scrunched napkin on the table, marked with a clear circle of lipstick. Traces of blood.

He recognised the lipstick mark. And he knew exactly what had happened.

"Lucy."

He raced out of the pub, completely missing the figure standing in the corner of the room. The tiny brunette who watched him go with a mixture of pride and concern. The petite angel who still hand't worked out whether or not she could actually trust him yet. The least she could do was give him a helping hand, though. For now, maybe that was enough.

"You wake."

Jamie was disoriented for a moment, splayed on a bed in unfamiliar surroundings. She recognised the voice of Dracula, but found that she couldn't recall how she'd got there. A simple white satin dress hung by the bed.

"The gown. It suits your beauty. Please, put it on."

"Where am I? What have you done with Dean?"

"Harker is resting elsewhere. Please, put on the gown and you may dine. We are having pizza."

She felt her jaw drop. "What? What is wrong with you? You made up Lucy, right? Pretended to be my friend. That is so messed up!"

"I needed to know if you were the one."

"You could try talking to people! But instead you become this?"

"Put on the gown."

"I don't want to play your stupid game, okay? I just… I just want to go home."

His voice rose to a yell. "Put on the gown!"

And so she did as she was told. He had turned away while she changed, head in hands, looking almost disgusted with his own behaviour.

"I-I scared you. You were the only one I didn't want to scare. I used to love the movies."

Smoothing the gown over her hips, she put a hand on his shoulder. Maybe the calm, comforting approach would work. "They aren't real. You can't make them real."

Dracula laughed mirthlessly, "'Real' is being born this way. Different. 'Real' is having your dad call you 'monster'. It's the first time you hear the word. And he tries to beat you to death with a shovel." He pulled away. "Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found me, attacked me. Called me 'freak', called me 'monster'. Then I found them. The great monsters. In their movies,they were strong. They were feared. They were beautiful. And now I am like them.

Commanding. Terrifying."

Jamie shook her head. "Lonely."

He dropped the accent. "I was lonely. Now I- I have you."

"Ever think that maybe you're lonely Because you kill people?"

"Or I kill people because I'm lonely."

The sound of something being knocked over outside made both of them turn towards the source of the noise.

"Did you hear that?" Dracula frowned, eyes narrowed.

Jamie felt a spark of hope take hold in her veins. "Dean? Dean! Is that you? I'm in here!"

Furious, the shifter whacked her hard around the head, making her collapse to the floor.

Dean didn't think he'd ever been quite so glad to see his baby brother walk through the door, gun in hand.

"Oh,thank god. Just in the nick of time. That guy was about to Frankenstein me."

Sam broke apart the bars holding him down, unable to fight the smirk that crept onto his face. "Hey there, Hansel."

"Shut up! Not one word, okay?"

When he was finally free, the two of them went back the way Sam had come - he remembered hearing Jamie call out for Dean, and had a vague idea of which direction her voice had come from. They came to a locked door, and Sam kicked it in with one swift move. They knew they were in the right place - Jamie was splayed across the bed, a thin trail of blood creeping from her nostril. As the pair of them tried to cross the room, Dracula (who had been waiting against the wall behind the door, knowing that the boys would make it to his little room sooner or later) launched himself at them, taking out Sam first.

"Aah! You will never be Van Helsing!"

Once the taller man had hit the wall, he turned his attention on Dean, wrapping his hands around his throat. "And you, Harker, now you die."

"How 'bout now you shut the hell up?"

The gun had fallen to the floor in the confusion, and Dean fought to get it back in his hands - and failed miserably. Dracula had his boot on his chest, keeping him pinned down, with the weapon just out of arm's reach. He was struggling to breathe, and Sam was too far away to help.

This could be it. What a terrible way to go - crushed to death by some deluded creature.

And then came the gunshot. Dracula stumbled away from him, a hand raised to his chest.

"Silver?"

He turned, and the boys moved to follow his gaze. Standing at the foot of the bed, still a little wobbly, was Jamie, gun in hand. A bright red stain was spreading across the front of the shifter's costume, and it raised a hand to touch the sodden fabric.

"It was beauty that killed the beast. No, Mina, do not weep. Perhaps this is how the movie should end."

He slumped into the chair, wheezing for a few moments before the bullet completed its work through his body, ending his life.

The silence that followed was peacefully pure.

Sam was doing his absolute best to avoid looking at the scene before him. Clearly, Dean and Jamie had used the rest of the evening to, uh, thank each other for their hard work the night before, and now that morning had come they weren't quite done yet. And as much as he cared about his brother, watching him stick his tongue down some girl's throat was not his idea of entertainment.

"Well, thank you, G-Man. You have been of great service to your country."

"Oh, yes… I'm very, very patriotic."

Finally, the two broke apart, smiling.

"Bye."

"Bye."

They began to walk in opposite directions, but Jamie turned back.

"You guys… you saved my life, you know? So, thanks."

And then she turned and left properly, not looking back. She vanished around a corner, and the corner of Sam's mouth twitched up.

"I like her."

Dean agreed. "Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does."

"The hero gets the girl, monster gets the chop. "All in all, happy ending - with a happy ending, no less."

"Oh, real classy, Dean."

"Hey, all I'm saying is… the shifter man had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was movie simple. Although, if I was turning life into a movie, I wouldn't do this "Abbott and Costello meet the monster" crap."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah. No, I know what you'd pick."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"No. You don't. You don't!"

"Porky's II."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Dean huffed, turning on his heel to head back to the Impala. "Lucky guess."

Sam chuckled as he followed. Had he not been laughing himself, or been listening a little closer, he would've heard a matching little giggle, coming from thin air. Just hovering in the back of his brain.

Although the distance between them felt almost infinite, Jophiel was far closer to Sam than he truly realised.

Of course, he had no reason to believe that he was being watched.

For now.

I hope you enjoyed!

Much love, Az xxx