Chapter 34: The Borough
Angel Dust and Alastor were the first to discover the hotel's newest mayhem in the morning.
Following that peculiar night, they'd teleported back to the hotel. With the newest amount of patrons, breakfast would be the one thing creating a line between those interested in the cause and ditching.
They really didn't expect to be greeted by the large smoke of dusting in the hallway.
"Nifty! It ain't even 7!" Angel called out.
When the dust cleared, the men almost thought they were hallucinating.
None of the three cleaners were Nifty. Or distinguishable sinners or Hellborns. They were so small, Fat Nuggets could probably match their height if he was there, standing on his hind legs. Small, chubby, the dark blue creatures wore pink puffy dresses with the hotel's logo patched on their breast sleeves. Ears and nose of voles but the talons of a bird of prey. Rather than hair, pink bubbles popped out of their bare heads. Half of their faces was hidden beneath masks designed like the wings of a mangrove skipper.
"Phoci take care of sweeping!" One with taffy pink bubble hair said.
"Pigma take care of mending!" Another with cotton candy pink bubble hair joined in.
"Lion disinfect!" The last one with rose pink bubble hair was swallowing a live rat.
"Phoci, Pigma, and Lion CLEAN!" The creatures stampeded into their cleaning, confusing the Radio Demon and Angel Dust.
Same time, upstairs
Repetitive knocking woke up Charlie and Vaggie out of their bed.
"Husk, I swear… I don't know what Angel did…" Charlie opened the door.
"I CANNOT believe how disorganized this whole room is!" A cardinal-headed demoness with four spider demon arms burst in. She walked, hands adjusting her black suit and red bowtie with the hotel's logo pin. After straightening her Mohawk, her hands moved around at locomotive speed, straightening the bed, disinfecting the desks, and reorganizing the books and paperwork.
"Hey! Who do you think you are?" Vaggie pulled out her spear.
"I think I'm going to vomit!" The demoness stuck out her tongue underneath her yellow mask designed like the wings of a Cleopatra butterfly. "You still haven't decided on your outfit for the welcoming speech, your accounting papers are mixed with your scrapbooks, your tax deadlines are three weeks away, and I might lose my plumage if I don't get you ready for breakfast!"
"And… you are?"
"Gone." The demoness flicked a business card at them. "Rhymes with 'groan'."
"It's spelled like 'gone'," Vaggie pointed out.
"Like what will happen to me if Vanessa finds out we're behind schedule!" Gone opened the closet. "We need to hurry and get you dressed!"
"For what?" Charlie frowned.
"And who's Vanessa?"
"THAT WOULD BE ME!" A female voice shrieked through the hotel's speakers. "PATRONS AND STAFF! REPORT TO THE BALLROOM AT 0700 HOURS FOR BREAKFAST AND ORIENTATION!"
Charlie and Vaggie looked at each other with uncertainty.
"THAT MEANS MOVE YOUR CUM-LOTIONED ASSES, PEOPLE, BEFORE I DRAG YOU MYSELF!"
Footsteps were heard stampeding in the hallways. Charlie and Vaggie hurried to get dressed.
Minutes later
All 66 new arrivals and current staff arrived at the ballroom. Hundreds of table had been set up, each decorated with a bouquet of the garden's flowers. Ant demon waiters with snake mouths and Julia butterfly wing masks guided the impressed patrons to their tables.
"I must say…" Alastor sat down. The waiter pulled a chair for Angel Dust to sit across from Alastor. Both failed to hide a blush.
"Might I get you started with any beverage? Dark coffee, no extras for Mister Alastor, and hot cocoa, extra whipped cream, for Mister Angel Dust?" The waiter noted on a pad. "I'll come back with a breakfast menu."
"Who took care of breakfast?" Alastor asked.
"Someone who'll kill me if I don't do my job!" The waiter gleefully sauntered to the next table.
"Al! Angel!" Charlie appeared behind Angel Dust's chair. "What's going on?"
The ballroom's door burst open. Any masked 'employee' quickly lined up in attention. Those sitting at tables leaned up to get a better view of the 'new employee'.
Her tall figure was covered by a long-sleeved black dress that reached just above her knees, exposing her pale, scaled legs. Whenever her black stilettos walked, her legs stuck so close, as if she had a snake tail. Crossed behind her back, her needle-thin fingers tapped against one another. Her hair moved like lava flowing out of a volcano. Half of her face was covered by a mask with red admiral wings. The masks didn't conceal the snarl on her face.
"Oh, look at that. That must be Vanessa," Angel Dust whispered.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Number of tenants? All of you." Vanessa marched through, arms crossed behind her back, and magma eyes glowing beneath her mask. Her voice sounded like she had eaten too much spicy food and the heat wouldn't go away even after drinking all the milk in Hell. "How many losers and bigger losers? That depends on how you're committed."
Some demon raised his hand. "Uh… What's your function?"
At bolt speed, Vanessa slammed her hand against the demon's table. The tablecloth underneath her palm suffered a burning stain. The table's bouquet burst into flames.
"My function is MY business!" Vanessa snarled. "And MY business is to make sure you losers either achieve redemption or achieve exit consultation with my boss! If you have questions concerning my business or anything else, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!"
When she marched away from the table, the patron quickly checked his pants, unsure if he wet himself or got an erection. Waiters quickly changed the burnt-out bouquet for a fresh one.
"Curfew is applied to every tenant. 10:30pm for anyone without exterior employment. If those with exterior employment get delayed, they MUST notify the hotel. Recreational drugs are forbidden on hotel grounds. If you have a need for medicinal drugs, make an appointment to discuss your medical background! Alcohol is only accepted at the bar. No homemade concoctions and no external alcohol unless it's cooking alcohol! No drinking on Mondays after midnight and before 6pm! You will all meet with the princess individually to discuss your redemption plans. Sessions are mandatory. Make an appointment if you want my boss to consult you in exiting the program. Porn and cannibalism are strictly forbidden. Paid sex is unacceptable, and rape is punishable. Consensual, free sex is acceptable." Vanessa crossed her hands together close to her chest. "All rule breakers… WILL GET PUNISHMENT BY APPOINTMENT!" She hissed at the other masked staff members. "What are you underpaid bitches doing? Starving the tenants? YA WANT AN APPOINTMENT?"
They scurried between tables and the kitchen.
"I like the management," one of the patron's commented. "Reminds me of home."
Vanessa began walking to the doors when Charlie caught her arm.
"Um… are you open for a last-minute appointment at my office? With… the others?"
…
Alastor couldn't deny it. The new staff members really did a great job on brewing his coffee. And the scrambled eggs were delicious.
"What do you mean, Indigo created you to handle things?" Scrunchy panicked. "I'M the original right-hand!"
"OK! Minus the whole… staff increase, which ISN'T a bad thing…" Charlie tapped her fingers against her desk. "But…"
"Besides the fact you can't just butt in and do our job, where's Indigo?" Vaggie asked. "We haven't seen her since last night!"
"Of course you haven't seen her since last night! Big Mouth here basically painted her as an external sponsor, not an actual hotel staff!" Vanessa flicked Scrunchy on the forehead. "Childhood toy, my ass! 5 stars on the performance, Manuel Miranda! Now our boss can't show herself in public! Indigo Caligo, a tenant and rehab patient? Mixed with her powers, they'll think she's the Radio Demon 2.0! The 66 new tenants will turn into -6!"
Angel Dust stopped drinking his hot cocoa. "We're not going to kick Indigo out, right?"
"Of course not!" Charlie exclaimed.
"We're obviously not going to do that if she still wants to try redemption," Vaggie said. "Unfortunately, Vanessa's right. This situation makes it impossible for us to harbor Indigo!"
"Let us not forget the pompous prick of a grandfather Indigo's little friend has." Alastor drank his coffee dry.
"Grandfather?" Vanessa asked.
"Paimon wants our mistress to be affiliated with the Ars Goetia," Scrunchy said.
Vanessa burst into laughter, lava dripping from her hair and burning the carpet. "No way she'd meet the criteria for these losers!"
"Well, August said that Paimon's wishes could be revoked if she was from the House of Leviathan, a cannibal, an anti-global warming demon, an Exterminator's descendant, a sin-devourer, an Exterminator ally, or a country music lover," Charlie said.
"Well, you're half in luck. My boss is a fan of Taylor Swift's country music AND into Lil Nas X before she died. And she hates global warming!"
"Only half?" Angel Dust punched on his chair, breaking the armrest. "Why only half?"
"It's Hell. My boss could easily lose interest in her living days' interests."
"OK! Paimon aside, what are we going to do about Indigo's lodging?" Charlie asked. "Redemption's gonna be harder for her!"
"Yeah, where's the kid anyway?" Angel Dust asked Vanessa.
"She did what must influenced teens do with familial issues. Went for the snake wine."
"For fuck's sake… We're gonna have to ban that from Husk's bar!" Vaggie growled.
"Broad, I never said she went downstairs. She heard they had neat Habushu in the Bootleg Borough. She's probably been there since breakfast."
The white fur on Angel Dust's face paled even more. "Bootleg… Borough?"
Alastor spit his coffee. "I apologize. Did you just… refer to that borough that annexes the…"
Angel Dust extracted his third pair of arms, complete with machine guns. "Alastor. Get your fucking car!"
Later
In Hell, 'boroughs' were the coined term for towns that annexed the Ring's capital city with other sectors. Kinda like the way Manhattan was an NYC borough but still big enough to be seen as its own city. Bootleg Borough was considered the most dangerous, as it bordered Pentagram City with the Pride Ring's Greed Sector.
The neon green clouds stood out on the red sky, but with the darker smoke coming from the factories and shops, it made the sky look like it was puking. Green waste overfilled the rivers, assumed to be liquid greed spilling out of the factories. Every two hours, a turf war was going on in separate alleys. Banks were continuously robbed. Each street had hundreds of various pawnshops, loan shark offices, debt managers, and credit card vendors. Mockbusters were playing in all the theaters and sold in every shop. Every now and then, dark cars passed by, shooting random demons strolling about.
Why was Bootleg Borough considered the most dangerous out of the 6 boroughs of the Pride Ring? It was the ideal stomping ground for low-level gangsters and the main headquarters for Hell's sinner mafia. Anyone from Capone's original gang to the modern-day yakuza made the B.B their home. Outsiders knew better than to go there. Even Valentino didn't dare sending whores there. The only valid reason you had for going to Bootleg Borough was this: either you were a mobster, or you owed some shit to the mobsters.
Clearly, Indigo had no idea. Unfortunately, her pissed-off brain had only one main priority. Going to the Yokai Joint for the most envious snake wine, their homemade Habushu.
The public speakeasy was empty, perhaps due to the owners being busy with their own turf war. Indigo paid cash up front to the barista by slamming the bills against the bar counter. She pointed at the Habushu bottle, standing on its own glass shelf.
"Aren't you a little young to drink that?" The squid demon barista scowled at her.
"Aren't you broke enough to know I don't care?" Indigo spat. "The WHOLE bottle."
The barista rolled his eyes and used his tentacles to grab and uncork the Habushu. He slid the bottle to Indigo, who caught it.
"Ya sure ya wanna drink that?"
"My God, it's Hell! Isn't nobody supposed to care about underage drinking?" Indigo took a large gulp of Habushu. Distilled Indian rice. Pit viper venom. Those tastes went right down to her stomach, tingling the inner walls. Her tongue burned, yet she drank more.
Indigo kept drinking, ignoring the multiple-tailed fox demons entering the speakeasy, tossing their guns by a coat hanger. "Yo, Yuri! Feast us up with Habushu! We got to get back to our turf before those green gals get it before us!"
Indigo licked the last drop. The demons' impatient tails wagged against the floor.
"Yuri! That Habushu!"
Before crawling to hide under his bar, Yuri pointed a tentacle at Indigo. Her tongue felt spicier.
"Hey, you!" A fox demoness marched towards Indigo. She pointed at the empty Habushu bottle. "Ya drink our booze?"
Indigo blinked and stared at the bottle empty of Habushu. The pit viper in it disintegrated to dust.
"I paid for it." Indigo squinted.
"Ya a mobster? Someone in debt?"
"Don't remember it being illegal to drink booze ya fucking pay for." Indigo hiccupped.
"I don't believe this!" One of the mobsters snarled.
"She drank our fucking booze!"
"What are we going to drink now? We don't got no juice to face the Green Gals!"
"I say we beat up that bug and open her stomach to get our Habushu back!"
Glass smashing echoed in the speakeasy. The demons stared at their leader, her brain exposed by the powerful blow Indigo gave her using the empty Habushu bottle.
"WOW!" Indigo hiccupped in between laughs. "I got her BIG!"
Two bulky fox demons ran towards her, pointing their daggers at her. Indigo jumped off her stool and slashed something at them. Said something was the holy golden sickle she kept hidden in her hair. Blood splattered everywhere, including on her face, when she sliced the demons in half.
"WOW!" Indigo laughed, smudging the blood on her cheeks. "THIS is SO FUCKING FUN!" She grabbed the corpses' knives and threw them at another demon, pinning him to the nearby pool table by the arm. Like a boomerang, she tossed her sickle, decapitating the pinned demon, and caught her sickle by the handle. She kept laughing and smudging blood on her face. The mobsters got their weapons at hand.
"What?" Indigo taunted. "Ya wanna play some more?"
A few minutes later
Sir Pentious had several Victorian-styled warehouses in Pentagram City. Part of his, 'wannabe Overlord' goals.
He did have, however, one particular warehouse just by the Bootleg Borough Border. One warehouse where he didn't invent that much and used it for designated spare time. A place safe from prying eyes.
He slithered happily, humming and carrying a tray with two cups of coffee and warmed up scones. He made sure to not get his tail stuck in the door and slithered towards the bed.
Illuminated by the windows' red and green rays, his partner stretched his four arms upward.
"Morning," Pentious smiled cheerfully. "Got your breakfast ready."
The black-furred spider demon stared his eight red eyes at the tray. "How long was I asleep?"
"Since last night. OBVIOUSLY." Pentious laid down the tray carefully on the bed. Just underneath the tray, the stain on the mattress cover was obvious. "I'll clean that today."
"Fuck… I did THAT?"
"Was it a bad THAT?" Pentious hesitated, quickly giving his partner his cup of coffee.
"THAT wasn't bad! Don't worry! I just… didn't think I'd do THAT!"
"And… how did that make you feel?" Pentious nearly spilled the coffee of his own mug.
"I felt really good… doing it with you." The spider demon groaned. "I don't even know what I'm doing! How am I gonna tell Tony? He's gonna give me a fucking 'I told ya so'!" He sipped his coffee. "OK. NOW I know I was out long. This tastes like coffee shop coffee!"
"I've never really given myself time for such trivialities. Dismantling a coffeemaker to fabricate a laser ray gun? Most likely! But fabricating my own coffee? The Egg Bois usually get takeout for me!" Pentious drank from his cup. "But I remembered the coffee you liked. I figured you'd like that… after last night. I wanted to make you comfortable, Arackniss."
The black furred spider smiled, pecking the snake on the cheek. "Thanks, Pen."
It took a few minutes for them to finish their breakfast. Pentious stashed the dirty dishes onto the tray and cast it aside on the nightstand. Arackniss checked the time on the grandfather clock. "The Don will want me to give a report at dinner."
"If anybody asks, you were shooting up some Cartel," Pentious said.
"And you were busy hunting down Cherri Bomb."
"We did NOTHING together last night."
"Obviously."
And obviously, Pentious jumped onto the small spider. Arackniss' legs folded against the scales.
"Obviously, we had a lot of fun." Pentious smirked. His tail cushioned the back of Arackniss' head before coiling around his wrists, cuffing them.
"And we obviously have SOME extra time." Arackniss smiled.
"Indeed!" Pentious caressed Arackniss' cheeks. Both demons brought their faces close enough. Pentious' tongue flickered in excitement against Arackniss' lips…
Arackniss' phone rang just underneath the actual pillow.
"FUCK!" He picked up his phone and answered it. "Yes, Fonso? Uh huh. What? Check the window facing the Borough? Alright. See ya at headquarters."
The demons quickly put on their shirts once Arackniss hung up. The closest window in the warehouse facing the Borough was in the drawing room just across from the bedroom.
Arackniss and Pentious couldn't imagine the literal wildfire of green flames growing in Bootleg Borough. Regular mobsters began running for their lives. The smell of blood was rising and swarms of bugs were flying towards the eye of the storm. Purple and white lightbulbs flashed frantically on the lampposts. Purple flashes meant 'Overlord threat'. White was for Exterminators.
"That fucking borough is the one place in this damn area that ain't controlled by Overlords! They'll come in swarms to fight for new turf!" Arackniss growled.
"Perhaps if we retaliated, they'll be too busy protecting their own territories!" Pentious smirked.
"Just shoot off their turfs on the opposite side of town!" Arackniss ran back to the bedroom, and returned fully dressed. His four arms all wielded machine guns. He quickly kissed Pentious. "I'll call you later!"
Arackniss jumped out the window. Pentious watched him land effortlessly on a rooftop, hop down on the walls, and shoot on a fire escape to use the ladder to get to main ground. When another mobster accidentally bumped into him, Arackniss shot him on the face.
Pentious sighed. "He's SO romantic!"
Meanwhile
Angel Dust madly drove Alastor's car through the streets, causing cars to crash onto one another and crushing pedestrians in the process. Alastor's nails sank deeper into the seat. His teeth gritted every time the spider zig-zagged through the alleys to ditch the crowd of terrified demons.
He finally found a dead end for him to park the car. Angel Dust rummaged through Alastor's trunk until he pulled out a camouflage-enchanted car cover. Alastor struggled out the car, covering his mouth.
"NEVER drive me around!" Alastor said, his voice losing static.
"You'll get sick later!" Angel Dust covered the car. "That way, your ride's concealed, we find the kid, we wait in the car until the turf war's over, and we get the FUCK OUT!"
"You don't believe she's trapped on the battlefield? Do you?" Alastor took his keys and summoned them away.
"I'm more worried about her getting near the Habushu!" Angel Dust pulled out his gun and cautiously hid by the alley's entry towards the street.
"What's so particular about a snake wine sold within the mafia?"
"The PARTICULAR, Al, is that it's a Yakuza-only booze! Snake wine on its own was already a rumored aphrodisiac on Earth, and Habushu is made of fucking pit vipers to enhance virility! But in Hell? All it enhances is the kick in slaughter! The yakuza here drink it like crazy before a turf war to beat up the other gangs!"
Alastor processed the information. "An energy alcohol… mixed with our overly emotional darling…"
A bear demon landed roughly on the wall bordering the alley. A gun was twisted to trap the thick neck, so the impact caused the body to explode. Alastor summoned an umbrella to shield himself and the spider from the blood.
An electricity pole toppled down, sending sparks flying on some spilled car oil and increasing the fire. Alastor summoned the umbrella away.
Dozens of multiple-tailed fox demons were left for dead, impaled through the pole. Their fresh left a filthy smell as the electricity roasted them alive.
Angel Dust nearly dropped his gun when he stepped onto the street. Alastor had to remember to keep smiling.
Corpses.
Corpses were EVERYWHERE. Decapitated heads rolled away from their bodies. Some bodies sliced in half found their lower halves in a dumpster and the upper half in some broken restaurant window. Many were pinned to the ground by improvised spears. The road and sidewalks were carpeted with corpses. Corpses hung from the windows. As they died, the liquid essences of the demons' sins dissolved into the ground. The green essence of Greed, however, created a pool for the corpses to float on.
Angel Dust's grip on his gun tightened. His foot had accidentally touched the dead of a lifeless mobster. One with a signature outfit.
"I've known him from my Pa's org…"
A dark grey Hellhound crashed into a car. Her back was spiked from wooden stakes, and the exposure to sparks and car oil set her aflame. All she could do was scream in agony.
"Green Gals." Angel Dust identified. "And we spotted the Fox Yakuza… And the dude from my family…"
A toucan demon's head rolled down after bouncing around the corpses.
"Cartel. OK, this ain't a turf war."
Laughter pieced the sky. A mobster had just run out of amo, deciding to now make a run for his life.
A black arm reached out, grabbing him by the tail. It grew to longer heights as it lifted the demon up. It… almost looked like it was moving… On the inside.
The flames' lights revealed the true tissue of the arm.
There had to be millions of green-banded swallowtails, flying in a swarm. Their wings' green bands had green lights going downward like veins.
Out of the smoke, something lifted itself upward. Five more arms identical to the first one moved, the butterflies carefully flying as if they were the actual muscle tissues of a five-armed giant. The man body connecting the large arms of swarms, however…
"WHAT'S THE MATTER? CAN'T TAKE ON A DRUNK TEEN?" Indigo's laughter turned into mad shrieks. Her butterfly's Eldritch fingers tightened their hold on the demon. Her indigo hair and clothes were drenched in dark shades of demon blood. In an abominable way, she herself was a butterfly.
A butterfly controlling her hive… which never happens in documentaries.
Alastor gave Angel Dust an uncomfortable look. "You often get that feeling when immense trouble awaits you, yet you feel so proud?"
Angel Dust clicked his gun. "ANGEL, are you mad?" Alastor exclaimed.
The spider aimed his weapon… and shot right at the mobster's skull. The butterflies dropped the dead body in confusion. In her wild ecstasy, Indigo turned. Her rage became shock when she saw them.
She opened her mouth to say something.
"INES! You bring your fucking ass down here!" Angel Dust gripped on his gun's barrel and pointed the grip at her. "I'm warning you! If physical discipline worked in the 30s, YA REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE ME DO SHIT! So stop your drunk tantrum and let's go home!"
"MAKE ME!" Indigo snapped. Red admirals began to create a fire above her mane. She rubbed her neck, as if a bug had bit her. Her fingers pulled out what looked like a dart. The swarms dissolved as she got woozy and transformed to her usual state. Angel Dust dropped his gun and jumped to grab her, the swarms flying off. He sniffed the dart's tip.
"Tranquilizer?" He turned to the direction the dart had been shot from. He didn't expect to find Alastor putting a blowgun in his jacket… along with knives, a wrapped ax, and a pack of darts strapped within. "AL!"
"We wouldn't have been able to put up a fight in her drunken state and Bootleg Borough has an enchantment that neutralizes external magic." Alastor buttoned his coat.
"What? No! Ya never told me ya were waltzing in with amo!"
"Did you expect me to fight for myself with my teeth? You forget I was a serial killer in life!"
"And the blowgun?" Angel Dust frowned.
Alastor shrugged. "A hobby."
A knocked can echoed in the chaos. Angel Dust placed Indigo in Alastor's hold and grabbed out all of his guns. "ALRIGHT! Ya bitches wanna dance now that I got my guns out?"
Dozens of spider demons popped up from the debris, every single arm loaded with a machine gun pointed at him. Alastor hissed at the presence of Hellhounds waving baseball bats spiked with nails. Humanoid, horned sinners and imps emerged from the windows.
A whole organization had hundreds of weapons pointed at the trio. Well, the awake and alert adults. Indigo was still snoring through the event.
Slow, but cold clapping joined the commotion. Some mobsters made way for a short, yet authoritative mobster. All of his four hands clapped. The look he gave was colder than a tombstone. Angel Dust's two eyes glared back at the eight eyes with the same content.
"Niss." He nodded.
"Tony," Arackniss responded back with a nod as well.
"This is the brother you mentioned?" Alastor asked Angel Dust.
"And you're the Radio Demon. No one cares." Arackniss crossed his arms, his grim expression unchanging. "Fucking great job again, Tony. Pops called in for a family meeting, and guess who's going to join you in the car?"
Greed Ring, approximately the same time, but way later
If the Greed Ring's common areas were rip-offs of nearly every single thing in existence, every single royal residence owned by Mammon was a mashed combination of rip-offs of Earth's most expensive palaces: Buckingham, Versailles, Winter Palace, Forbidden City, etc. Point was, imagine all these castles combined, and multiply the costs by a million. While commoners and the local mafia did everything to make money, Mammon kept and spent his money like a real tyrant.
So was it a surprise that, along with spoiling his nephew, Mammon allowed his nephew to give his boyfriend a private penthouse? NOPE!
And it felt like a typical, anticipated Tuesday: Gustav cooking a two-people dinner and an exhausted, frustrated Addison coming in. Fancy coat and fedora tossed onto the coat rack and his sweater into the laundry basket. The fennec tail was off his shoulders and rattling in frustration.
"Rough day?" Gustav turned off the stove once the goulash was ready.
"YES!" Addison rubbed his cheeks roughly, nearly exposing his eye sockets. "Talk about an economy! Supermarkets failing, the usual toxic waste polluting rivers, and Uncle's favorite? Gentrification!"
"Which districts?"
"Any with dead people." A soothed smile appeared on the Prince of Greed when a bowl of goulash was placed before him. The popping noise of an open bottle perked every inch of him. "Is that… Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru?"
Gustav filled two glasses, a proud smirk on him.
"Where'd you get it? That's the greediest wine on Earth! My uncle guards it murderously!"
"Smugglers trying to bring human garbage to the black market. I brought in some hungry loan sharks to convince them to give me the goods for free! Those fools thought they could sell this for a hundred, when its human value is worth millions!"
"Gustav! I feel so spoiled!"
They clanged their glasses together before feasting, combining casual talk, work, and… Gustav's special treat for Addison at bedtime. Addison relished his wine sips while Gustav cleared the dirty dishes to make room for the 8-inch sachertote he made for dessert. Gustav noticed the papers Addison was going through at the table. Among them was a very noticeable picture. A picture taken during the Seventeenth Brunch.
"Addi, not again!" Gustaf rolled his eyes.
"What?"
"I fail to see your paranoia over one insignificant weiblich." Gustav's accent slipped in his own frustration. "So she has cravings and an attitude. We're in Hell, mein Engel. Everyone has kinks and strange tastes in food."
"I understand that!" Addison protested.
"And I fail to understand your paranoia over the fraülein! So you can't see her dreams, but there's about a billion demons times infinity spread throughout the rings! You don't exactly go knocking on doors to touch and peak in dreams. And for the possible sin-devouring, what does it change? She's a sinner newbie. Most of them die by their first Extermination." Gustav sighed. "Which is literally next week. She might not be our problem anymore."
"I know!" Addison groaned in defeat. "But if I can't see others' dreams… Mammon might…"
"Your uncle views you as his nephew and heir, not as his interrogation living detector." Gustav held Addison's hand. "With or without your skills, you'd still be here. Your parent was his sibling."
Addison lowered his head. "May I have some sachertote?"
Gustav nodded. He proceeded to cut the sachertote into even sixths.
"You know, if the fraülein is too much to handle, why not simply dispose of her? The angels are coming very soon. If she can somehow be stuck outdoors… and if she did happen to be a sin-devourer, she'd be a priority target. Right?" Gustav suggested.
Addison frowned. Gustav gave him a slice of cake. "And if she doesn't get killed and survives?"
"Well, by then you might have accumulated enough evidence on her nature and her weaknesses," Gustav's smirk grew into a cruel one. "You could always rat her out to Lucifer, but if her nature came with profits…"
Addison gulped his cake slice with excitement. "You'd make a fine co-prince, Gustav. What a good idea!"
He pulled out his phone when his uncle's ringtone echoed loudly. Addison had put the Loo Loo Land theme song as the designated ringtone for Mammon calling him. "Evening, Uncle Mammon!" Addison answered. "How is business with Satan? That's good to hear. Yes, I took care of it earlier today. No, I'm with Gustav. He cooked goulash and sachertote. Alright, I'll make sure to ask him to pack you some…"
Addison's eyes widened.
What happened next was a big 'WHAT?' that shook all of the Greed Ring, including the explosions of all the fire hydrants.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE GREED SIN POLLS BOOSTED BY 57%? I GET IT! I'LL GO CHECK!" His tail wrapped over his shoulders after he hung up the phone. "Gustav, grab your coat and pack the sachertote! Some moron wiped up all of Bootleg Borough's population!"