Ch. 7 – Knightly Confessions
Diluc grunts as he swings his slightly-too-big claymore at a prone target. He's made sure he's at least a few feet away from Jean, so as to not cause their elements to create another swirl they aren't prepared for… again. Master Varka wasn't pleased last time they almost burned half the training grounds down and had made Diluc not only clean their mess but also run until he couldn't feel his legs anymore.
He is happy he isn't in a classroom today. He finds class sessions boring and mostly unnecessary since they were given a handbook weeks ago that he's already read through twice. He knows that new knights such as himself need to learn the laws of Mondstadt and know the lay of the land but he wants to fall asleep every time he steps into that classroom.
At least most of his training is focused on the physical and combat aspect of being a knight. With increasing monster attacks, the knights have been spread throughout Mondstadt and clearing hilichurl camps left and right.
For vision bearers such as himself, they have a special course on top of everything else. After classroom sessions and physical training with their fellow trainees, they are sent to the training grounds normally for an hour or two to practice using their visions. There aren't many vision bearers at his age, but as Jean stands beside him on the training field, her training sword loosely held in her hand, he's glad he's not alone.
She isn't old enough to participate in official training quite yet, but Master Varka has given up trying to stop her from joining Diluc's vision training. When Diluc glances over at her, she's stabbing at the training dummy with a burst of anemo that pushes a cool breeze towards him. He doesn't know how she got her vision and she doesn't like to talk about it, so he doesn't push it.
Today is a shorter training day than normal. Father had told him before he left that he would join him for lunch today, so naturally, Master Varka insisted he practices using his vision all morning until he arrives.
Diluc pants as he swings his pyro-coated claymore again and slams it against the dummy in front of him. Sweat clings to his body like a second layer of skin and the late morning summer sun beats down on them mercilessly. Thanks to his vision, the heat doesn't bother him as much anymore but he can hear Jean breathing heavily. It makes him glad that summer isn't going to be as bad for him in the future.
Master Varka stands near him, stopping him every few swings to correct his form or tell him not to put so much energy into one swing. He keeps an eye on Jean as well, mostly to make sure she doesn't hurt herself or others while she's there.
Or almost destroy the training grounds again, but they don't talk about that.
Just as the sun nears its peak, Master Varka stops them both and smiles as Diluc sets the tip of his claymore onto the ground. "You did well today. Remember not to swing too wide, it'll leave you open to counterattacks." His eyes trail over to Jean. "As for you, I better not catch you here outside of training hours to practice again."
Jean's face flushes in embarrassment. "Yes, sir," she meekly replies.
"Good." He looks back at Diluc. "I expect you to be back in two days. Get some rest, you'll need it."
Diluc immediately salutes with a strong, "Yes, sir!" As soon as he's gone, however, he immediately leans against his claymore. "It's so hot," he complains once they're alone.
Despite how tired they are, Jean laughs as she puts the training sword away. "Aren't you the one with the pyro vision?" she asks.
"That doesn't mean I can't get hot." He stares at his claymore and his grip on the handle tightens. He needs to get stronger, a little heat won't stop him but he knows Master Varka would catch him and stop him before he can get much more practice in. If he'd had this vision before…
With a huff, he dismisses his thoughts and his blade, ignoring the curious glance Jean sends him. He turns to start walking out of the training grounds and heads back to headquarters to wait for Father to arrive.
Jean catches up to him in a few short strides and walks beside him. She leans forward a bit to look at him better and asks, "What's wrong?"
Is he really that easy to read? He sighs. "I just wish I'd gotten my vision sooner," he admits. He glances at his hip where the pyro symbol gleams in the sunlight.
Her face softens in understanding. "It must have been scary. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but at least you're all right."
He grits his teeth as his temper rises. He's not angry at anyone but himself. Angry at his inability to protect himself and Kaeya. "I need to get stronger."
"You will. I heard some of the knights say that you're one of the most promising recruits they've seen. Someone said they think you'll become a captain in just a few years, and even my mother has recognized your talents; that's hard to get."
He snorts. He's never liked her mother, she is too uptight and always says things like, "For Mondstadt this, for Mondstadt that." He can understand why the Seneschal doesn't get along with her anymore. "I don't need her recognition."
She looks away with a strange emotion on her face that he can't place. "Why do you need to get stronger?" she asks.
The monster appears in his mind and he holds back a shudder. He looks down to avoid meeting her eyes. "I was scared," he admits softly. He can feel her eyes on him, but he still refuses to meet her gaze. "I couldn't do anything and I just froze. If it wasn't for Kaeya, I would have been injured but had I been stronger, then I could have fought it off. Kaeya wouldn't have gotten hurt."
"But Kaeya's okay, right? That's what you told me."
He shrugs and raises his head again. "I don't know. He's been acting really weird since the attack. He hardly ever talks to me and he doesn't like to play anymore. He used to cry all the time when I went places he couldn't, but now he doesn't and he seems… happy when I'm not there." Diluc hesitates and wrings his hands together nervously. "He's not… he's not mad at me, is he?" The last part he whispers, and he catches the surprised look on Jean's face when he lifts his head back up.
She shakes her head. "Why would he be mad at you?"
"Because I didn't fight the monster. He tried to protect me and I let him get hurt."
She tilts her head. "You think you were supposed to fight off a monster without a weapon or a vision and get out of it just fine? Kaeya wouldn't be mad at you for that."
"He should be." He stops walking once they reach headquarters. The guard outside looks bored and spares them a brief glance before he goes back to staring off into space, clearly uninterested in their conversation. "I would be angry."
"Well, Kaeya doesn't have a temper like you do."
He gawks at her. "I do not have a temper!" He knows he does, but he wants to deny it.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't!"
She rolls her eyes but doesn't add anything else. She easily shifts the conversation back and says, "There haven't been any other monsters near the winery, have there?"
He shakes his head. "No."
She hums. "Well, maybe it was just a one-time thing. I think you need to spend some time with Kaeya. Try talking to him, find out why he's been acting weird."
He huffs when he remembers what happened a few weeks ago when he tried telling someone about it. "He made Adeline yell at me when I tried to call him out. He even laughed at me!"
She snickers, and immediately tries to hide it behind her hand.
He scowls at her. "What's so funny?"
"He's like your little brother. That's what younger siblings do."
He doesn't understand what she's trying to say. What does she mean by 'that's what younger siblings do?' "What are you talking about?"
"You'll understand sooner or later."
But he wants to understand now. He has never had a sibling before. It was a drastic change practically overnight since Kaeya arrived, but he wouldn't change it for the world. All he wants is to make sure the other boy is all right.
She smiles, not seeing his internal conflict. "I have to go. Just talk to him and ask if you can do anything to help."
Diluc returns the wave she sends as she walks off and slowly lowers his hand once he's alone. He walks to a bench that rests near the building and sits on it. He closes his eyes as a gentle breeze picks up and he lets out a sigh of relief. Despite it being summer and the pyro vision that helps manage the heat, he's grateful for the winds that help cool him down.
He opens his eyes to turn around on the bench and peer down at the market below. The city folk are always moving, and from here he can see the fountain where small children are playing. His eyes trail towards two boys leaning on the fountain's edge, staring down at the water and one of them points at something inside of it. He says something that makes the other one jump up in excitement and soon the two of them are running off to play.
That used to be him and Kaeya. They always did everything together and were hardly ever apart from each other. When he first arrived at the manor, Kaeya had been so timid that Diluc thought he couldn't speak. He slowly began to open up and spoke with a strange accent that quickly disappeared over the next few months. Eventually, his timid personality gave way to his mischievousness and now even the workers outside aren't spared from the clever pranks he pulls.
He loses his smile slowly and lets out a long sigh. He misses the days when Kaeya would often ask to play with him and run around to purposely annoy Elzer all the time or explore the area around the lake near the winery. It makes him frown as he remembers the monster again. He heard Father say he could still be scared of it just like he is.
He turns back around and fists his hands in determination. He'll figure out a way to help Kaeya be normal again. If what he heard from Hillie and Moco is true, Father is considering adoption so he's going to be an older brother. It makes him excited to think about and he smiles as he unfurls his hands to look at the vision sitting on his hip. He has the power to protect him now, he just needs to get stronger and learn to wield it properly, preferably sooner rather than later.
He looks up when he hears Father's voice call for him nearby and he smiles when he sees Kaeya with him. He's glad Kaeya has more confidence now, so instead of hiding behind Father's legs every time they are out in public, he stands beside him with a smile.
Diluc pauses for a brief moment. The smile that sits on Kaeya's face looks strained, perhaps a bit nervous the closer they get to him. Then he notices that Father is holding onto his hand to keep him close. Did something happen? Kaeya doesn't normally like his hand being held like that, even before the monster attack. He tends to stray from physical touch.
"Hello, Diluc," Father greets once they're close enough. "Ready to go?"
He jumps off the bench with ease just as his stomach grumbles. "Yep! I'm starving, what are we having to eat?" he asks.
"I was thinking we could go by Good Hunter. How does that sound?"
He eagerly nods his head. "I can eat anything right now."
"Even broccoli?"
He sticks his tongue out in disgust. "Anything but that."
Kaeya giggles. "What's wrong with broccoli?" he asks.
"Everything! It feels funny and it tastes like grass!"
He blinks. "How do you know what grass tastes like?"
"No reason," he answers a bit too quickly. It makes Kaeya eye him curiously, a sparkle of mischief flashing in his starry eye. "I said there's no reason."
The corner of his mouth tilts upward. "I didn't say anything. I'm simply trying to understand how you would know what grass tastes like. You've tried to eat it before, haven't you?"
His cheeks turn pink and he sputters, "N-no! No, I haven't!"
Father places his free hand on the top of his head. "All right, that's enough, you two. Let's go before Elzer wonders what's taking us so long to eat and go back to the tavern." He pulls his hand away and then wipes it on his pants. "And when we get home, you're taking a bath, Diluc."
Kaeya glances at him and his nose scrunches up a little. "Ew," he mutters. He quickly looks away to avoid meeting his glare.
"There's nothing gross about sweat! It's the mark of hard work!"
"You sound too much like Varka," he hears Father mutter. He isn't sure if he was supposed to hear that but it makes him snicker anyhow.
They make their way to Good Hunter in record time, and Diluc picks out a table for them to sit at as Father goes to wait in line and order some food. Kaeya sits across from him and immediately, Diluc notices the way he is fiddling with his thumbs and how his leg can't seem to stop bouncing.
He blinks as he watches him fold his hands in his lap, as if he's trying to get himself to stop being so jittery. The other boy is anxious about something. What happened? He's usually never like this anymore, even before the attack. "Are you okay, Kaeya?" he asks.
Kaeya's eye flicks up at him and he quickly nods. "I'm okay," he answers smoothly.
"Are you nervous because you're in the city?" It could be just that. Kaeya doesn't typically go into town with him or Father. They've usually had to fight to get him to leave the winery.
This time, he shakes his head. "No." He forces another smile and Diluc frowns yet again. The forced emotion that he's trying to push at him doesn't sit right on the boy's face. "You don't need to worry about it."
"But I am. You've been acting so weird lately. Did the monster really scare you that much?"
He looks surprised and he shakes his head. "No! No, it's not the monster. It's something else that's bothering me, is all."
"Oh. Well, maybe we can go to the river after we get back home. We could go looking for calla lilies for Addie if you like."
The corners of his lips tug upwards and he nods. "Yeah… we can do that." Then he loses the smile. "Only after you take a bath. You stink."
He gapes at him as if he hadn't heard him right. He looks down at himself and then back up. "Wha—no, I do not!"
"Yes, you do. You smell like an old knight's dirty sock that hasn't been washed in weeks."
Diluc rolls his eyes at him. Then, he grins as he quips, "And how do you know what an old knight's dirty sock that hasn't been washed in weeks smells like?"
He narrows his eye. "How uncouth, turning my words against me, 'Luc. I'm wounded."
He laughs. It's nothing that Kaeya doesn't deserve.
Father returns to their table shortly and sits in the unoccupied seat. "How was training, Diluc?" he asks.
He groans tiredly. "Master Varka made me do a lot of running and then vision training right after," he answers.
Kaeya smirks but he doesn't say anything when he takes a drink of water.
Diluc huffs at him. "If you want to be a knight, you'll have to do lots of running too, Kaeya. You're going to complain about it, too."
"Oh, I'm sure I will, but not nearly as much as you," he replies.
"No fighting at the table, boys," Father interrupts them instantly. He thanks the waitress that approaches and sets their food onto the table. He thanks her and when she's gone, he tells them, "Eat up and then we'll head back home."
Diluc immediately begins to devour the pile 'em up he has in front of him, eager to get back home, and barely hears Father telling him to slow down before he chokes on his food. He flicks his eyes toward Kaeya, who eats a little slower than normal but is enjoying the skewers anyway.
Had he been overreacting earlier? Kaeya seems fine now that they're eating and he whines as Father uses a napkin to wipe some sauce that gets on his cheek. Diluc returns to his lunch. Maybe he's overthinking things. The other boy has always acted a little strange at times.
Father told him what trauma is a while ago after he'd asked why Kaeya isn't the same and it makes him feel guilty that he can't immediately take it away like he wants to. After all, it's his fault he's this way now.
Even if Kaeya doesn't remember the monster, Diluc wonders if his head is telling him to still be scared of it. He gives himself a tiny nod. Yes, that's it. Diluc's still scared of it, and there hasn't been a single monster sighting near the winery since then. He can understand why Kaeya would still be afraid. He ignores the way Kaeya tilts his head questioningly at him and pushes his empty plate forward.
Kaeya's eye drifts towards the empty plate. "You must have been really hungry," he says. He bites into a mushroom.
Father looks impressed as he looks at the empty plate and asks, "Are you still hungry, Diluc? I can always order some more food for you."
"No, I'm full." He sits back in his chair to wait for them to finish their food as well. He watches as Kaeya finishes first and then smiles as an idea pops into his mind. "Father?"
Father's eyes flick to him and without missing a beat, he replies, "Yes, that's me. I'm Father."
Kaeya laughs quietly behind his hands and Diluc sends his father an unimpressed look.
Father looks too proud of himself. "What is it, Diluc?"
"Can we go to the beach tomorrow? I don't have to go back to training for two days and we haven't been to the beach in forever."
He hums in thought, probably going over his schedule in his mind. Diluc knows his father is always busy, but he's not worried about him saying 'no.' He always seems to make time for him even on the busiest days. "I don't see why not. I don't think I have anything important to do."
He smiles wider when he sees the enthusiastic look in Kaeya's eye. He's happy to see it and he whoops loudly in excitement and in the moment, he doesn't care that his chair leans a little too far back. He feels his heart leap into his throat when he keeps going backwards and he yelps as he falls backwards with the chair.
Kaeya laughs a little too hard when he topples over it and nearly loses his grip on his skewer. Father barely scolds them both and Diluc doesn't lunge at Kaeya when he threatens to not take them to the beach if they don't behave.
He crosses his arms as he sits back down into the chair and narrows his eyes at the other boy as he wipes his eye. "It really wasn't that funny," he mumbles.
"Yes, it was," he replies. "The look on your face was a sight to behold. Who knew a little fall like that would make you look like that." His face mimics whatever expression he'd seen and falls into another fit of giggles when Diluc glares at him.
It takes all of his willpower not to leap over the table and attempt to strangle him right there.
No, Kaeya isn't acting strange. He's still a little shit when he wants to be.
-x-
It's night when he quietly cracks his bedroom door open. He pokes his head out into the hall to check for Adeline, Elzer, or Father. When he sees that the coast is clear, he tip toes out of his room as quietly as he can and shuts the door behind him. Bed time was at least an hour ago, but he can't sleep in his too-warm room.
He takes a step to go to Kaeya's room but he pauses as he looks toward his father's office. The light underneath is still on and he can hear voices on the other side. Father works late into the night sometimes so he's unsurprised to see it on, but usually he's not talking to anyone. Curious, he presses an ear against the door when he recognizes Elzer's muffled voice say, "…and watched us leave."
He hears Father sigh. He sounds tired and he hears his exhaustion when he asks, "Did he try anything?"
Diluc frowns. It sounds like Father should join Adeline and take a vacation as well.
"Not to my knowledge," Elzer answers. "He didn't say anything, but he was nervous when I picked him up."
He feels confused. What are they talking about? Father curses and he jolts in surprise. He never swears, they must be talking about something serious… Maybe he is intruding. He feels like he shouldn't be hearing this but curiosity has taken hold and he wants to know more.
The creaking of leather makes it sound like Father is moving in his chair to grab something. "Next time, even if he begs, don't let him out of your sight, Elzer. I don't care if he throws a tantrum. If he starts that, just bring him back to me and I'll handle it."
"Of course, sir. I truly am sorry, Master Crepus."
"It's all right. I know how convincing he can be when he wants something. You just need not to fall into his tricks." His tone is softer when he adds, "And please stop calling me that after working hours. It's 'Crepus' to you, Elzer. I'm just another man after sundown."
Elzer barks out a laugh. "Try telling Kaeya that."
Father lets out another sigh. "Barbatos knows I have." Papers shuffle. "Maybe this will change that."
"I'm certain it will, Crepus."
Have they been talking about Kaeya this whole time? Something grips his gut and tells him that they are. What happened earlier? He jumps away from the door when he hears footsteps behind him and looks back to see Adeline carrying a small try with three teacups.
She looks surprised to see him and asks, "Master Diluc? What are you doing up?"
"I was going to see if Kaeya was still awake," he admits quietly.
She raises a brow. "That isn't Master Kaeya's bedroom."
He sheepishly nods. "I know, but I heard Elzer and Father talking."
He winces when he hears the door open behind him, likely because the two men inside heard them speaking. He looks up as Father blinks at him. "Diluc? I thought you were asleep. What are you doing out of bed?" he asks.
"I couldn't sleep." He steps out of the way for Elzer to walk by to give the two of them some privacy.
Father's face softens and he looks at Adeline. "I'll come downstairs for the tea in a few minutes. Thank you, Adeline."
She bows her head slightly and replies, "Of course, Master Crepus." She smiles as she turns around, clearly knowing what she is doing if Father's eye roll and Elzer's quiet laughter didn't give it away.
Diluc looks up at his father when the two of them are alone in the hall. "Father? What were you two talking about?" he asks.
Father puts a hand on top of his head. "It's nothing you should worry about, Diluc. Come, let's get you to bed, shall we?"
He frowns but follows him down the hall to go back into his room again. He watches Father open the window to allow airflow and he feels relieved to feel the cool night breeze enter. He sits down on his bed and pulls his legs up. "I heard you and Elzer talking. Did something happen to Kaeya today?"
Father glances over his shoulder and goes back to securing the window. "No, thankfully." He turns around and sits next to him on the bed. "It is warm in here, isn't it?"
He nods. "My room is always hot now." He glances at his vision that rests on his bedside table. "I blame my vision for that."
He chuckles. "I don't think it's because of your vision, kiddo." He folds his hands in front of him. "How much of our conversation did you eavesdrop?"
He feels his cheeks turn warm and he rubs his arm. "Um, I started listening when you told Elzer not to let someone out of his sight." He looks up at his father. "Were you talking about Kaeya?"
Curiously, Father glances away. "Yes, we were." He tightens the grip he has on his own hands. The brief silence makes Diluc fidget. Father looks like he wants to say something, but why is he hesitating?
Diluc is about to ask him what's wrong when Father says, "Diluc, I need you to promise me something."
He blinks. "What is it?"
He turns his eyes back to him, his gaze hard and it makes him nervous under the intense look. "If you can avoid it, don't be alone with Inspector Eroch. Do you understand?"
Now he's even more confused. Why is Father bringing up the inspector? "Why? Did something happen to him?"
He shakes his head. "No, nothing happened to him. Just promise me you'll avoid him as much as you can."
"Um… okay. I promise, Father."
Father's shoulders relax. What in Teyvat has him so stressed? "Thank you, Diluc." He stands up. "Now, I believe it's way past your bed time. Think you can get to sleep now?"
Now that his room is cooling down, he thinks he can. He still has questions, but as he yawns, he feels like they can wait for tomorrow. "Yes." He crawls underneath the sheets and giggles as Father's stubble tickles his face when he kisses his forehead. "You need to shave, Father."
He chuckles. "You think so? I quite like my beard."
He looks at his father's chin. "Master Varka has a real beard. You have… whatever that is on your face."
He clutches his chest in mock offense. "I'm hurt, by my own son, nonetheless. Whatever will I do?" He lowers his hand with a smile and takes the door handle. "Get some sleep, Diluc."
"Good night, Father." He watches the door close and snuggles deeper into his sheets once he hears the soft click.
He half-expects Kaeya to find his way into his room at some point, either because he also can't sleep or he had a nightmare again.
Eventually, he falls asleep. Kaeya doesn't come to his room at all during the night.