A/N: some of the formatting in this chapter looks better on AO3, just sayin' (:

Ch. 17 – The Sinner's Promise [III]

"Wake up, Kaeya."

Kaeya looks around in the strange domain-like room he is in. He can't tell if there are walls within the room, everywhere he looks is like a night sky with stars and a thick fog hangs at his feet and floor, quietly rolling across the transparent ground. A little ways ahead, there is a sealed stone door etched with glowing Khaenri'ahn runes and he makes his way toward it.

"You must wake up."

"Stop telling me what to do," he snaps back. The Sinner's voice is clearer than ever. Whatever this place is, it most likely resides somewhere within this domain.

He stops walking once he reaches the stone door and puts a hand against it. He pulls the handle and when nothing happens, he pushes it. Again, nothing happens. He tries to go around it but runs into an invisible wall that stuns him enough to make him rub his nose. When he presses a hand against the barrier, it glows dimly, a smokey white in contrast to the purple that surrounds him.

He tries to find another way around, but as he moves, he notices it's just like a domain and he's trapped inside. He frowns when he eventually reaches the door again, his hand having traced the barrier the entire time.

The voice chuckles. "I mean you no harm. I wish to save you, my dear Alberich."

"Save me?" Kaeya looks around. He still can't see the Sinner. "Who are you, really?"

"I am nothing but a Sinner."

"So you keep saying," Kaeya mumbles unhappily. He pushes against the door again and when it still doesn't budge, he sighs and gives up. "Where am I?"

"The place where our fates converge."

He hopes they can see his deadpan expression. "That means nothing to me."

The Sinner is quiet. A loud rumbling noise suddenly comes from the distance and Kaeya looks behind him. He yelps as the ground beneath him starts to shake violently and he tries to stay on his feet. When it becomes still again, he takes a few breaths and demands, "What was that?"

"You refused to listen and this is the price you must pay."

Kaeya's brows twinge in annoyance. Is this how Diluc feels whenever he talks circles around him, too? "Can't you just give me a straight answer?"

Agony erupts in his eye and he cries out at the unexpected pain. He covers his eye with both hands, hunching over and squeezes his eyes closed as it gets worse in the hopes it would go away.

The last thing he hears before he collapses is the Sinner's voice.

"Wake up."

Kaeya wakes up with a gasp. He moves to sit up but his head bounces off of something hard and he grunts in surprise. He opens his eyes and immediately sees that it's pitch black. He can't see a thing wherever he is. He raises his arm to rub his head but when his arms stop short, he freezes.

He tries again and finally recognizes that there is something tightly binding his wrists behind his back. A coarse rope pins them together and immediately, he starts to struggle against the bonds. His heart skips a beat when he realizes his legs are also bound just as tight.

His knees are close to his chest since he's precariously folded inside… whatever this is. With haunting realization, he realizes he's in something small like a box or a crate and that it's large enough to store a few items, perhaps a handbag that someone doesn't want to put into their lap or a suitcase that wouldn't fit on a wagon.

It's the perfect size for smuggling a faux eight-year-old.

He kicks forward but he can't stretch out enough to grab the knife tucked in his shoe. He moves his foot and his eye widens when he feels nothing there. The knife he usually has is gone. Did he forget to put it in before he left the winery? He curses. If so, it's his own fault for not making sure it was there this morning. He tries not to panic, but the fear is building too quickly for him to manage properly.

Don't panic, he tells himself. I can still get out of this. He can escape. He has to. He's been in worse situations before.

He struggles as hard as he can, his knees hitting the wall of whatever he's locked in, his feet pressing into the corner, and he has to constantly be careful not to bang his head against the top. He can barely move in the enclosed space, and with how tightly he is bound, he can't maneuver himself properly to get comfortable.

Being locked in such a small area is starting to make him claustrophobic. His breath picks up the more he fights against the restraints. He ignores the way it's cutting into his skin and the pain that starts to shoot up his arms and legs. The only thing on his mind is the desperate need to free himself.

His wrists are quickly rubbed raw as he keeps struggling and he lets out a distressed noise when nothing happens. The pain is getting worse the more he tries to twist his wrists free but the ropes are just too tight, and the walls surrounding him feel like they're closing in more and more. In the back of his mind, he knows panicking won't help, he knows wasting his energy like this is not ideal, but he can't help it. His heart is pounding against his chest and it feels like claws are grabbing his insides as his fear keeps building. Don't panic!

As much as he tries to focus on the pain, his mind keeps drifting toward his panic. He pushes against the sturdy walls even though they won't fall. He starts to hyperventilate and he squeezes his eyes shut to try to calm himself down.

He can't escape. He's trapped. He's going to suffocate in here and there's nothing he can do about it.

He slowly starts to give up as overwhelming regret seizes him.

He never got to apologize to Crepus. He won't get the chance—

A lock clicks from above him and he yanks himself out of his terror-filled thoughts at the noise. Light pours into his tiny prison when the top opens and he squints when it blinds him. When his sight adjusts to the sudden brightness, his eye widens when he recognizes who it is that stands above him.

Il Dottore grins, all his unnaturally sharp teeth flashing dangerously. Although Kaeya can't see those blood-red eyes, he knows they are staring straight at him and it feels like his gaze is piercing through his very being. "You're finally awake!" he says, all too cheerful. He lifts him up out of the darkness with ease. "I would apologize for the harsh treatment, but I'm sure you of all people can understand my precautions. Thankfully, Eroch didn't injure you too much."

Kaeya hopes his fear isn't showing on his face. He glares to hide it as he is roughly set down on the hard bench of the carriage they are in. It's difficult at first to remain sitting up with how the carriage rocks as it goes over every little bump on whatever road they're on. He finally manages to balance himself on the seat and takes a quick glance around. It's only he and Dottore inside the cabin, and the windows are covered with thick curtains that block out sunlight—not that he can tell if it's day or night out.

The seat on the other side closes and once it clicks, Dottore sits on top. He squirms under the man's gaze. He can think of a way out of this, he's been in worse situations before. "What do you want with me?" he asks.

Dottore laughs as if he had told a joke, and it makes Kaeya's skin crawl. "You know, you are a very lucky child," he tells him.

"Getting kidnapped by the Fatui isn't what I call lucky."

He crosses his leg over his knee, and his smile turns to an impressed one. "Ah, so you know who I am and I know who you are."

Kaeya frowns in confusion. Of course he does, they saw each other at the tavern.

He puts a hand on his chest. "I believe this is the first time we've officially met. I am Il Dottore, second of the Fatui Harbingers. I am pleased to meet your acquaintance, Kaeya Alberich."

Unease claws at him the more Dottore speaks. What game is he playing? Why is he acting as if they have never met? He shakes his head and corrects him, "It is Ragnvindr."

He blinks and crosses his arms. "Excuse me?"

Kaeya glares back at him. "My name is Kaeya Ragnvindr, not Alberich."

"Hm, it must have slipped my mind that you were recently adopted… Although, didn't you take your birth name back?"

He frowns. What is he talking about?

Dottore smirks at him. "Don't you remember? It was one rainy night, one fateful encounter with the younger Ragnvindr that changed your life forever. Your brother now, if I'm not mistaken." He taps the right side of his face. "He gave you a little parting gift before he left Mondstadt. Then he disowned you and played hero all around the world and left you to deal with the consequences, didn't he?"

Kaeya's breath hitches. He can feel himself go pale and his stomach flips upside down while his heart skips a beat. He stares at Dottore with a wide eye.

It's impossible—the only ones who knew what happened that night were he and Diluc, and this Diluc is just a boy. He hasn't experienced that pain and they haven't had that fateful fight. He hasn't told anyone about it, not even Dainsleif. Absolutely no one in all of Teyvat should know what happened that night. "What?" he whispers.

The man in front of him grins as if he's just won a prize. "Judging by your reaction, you do remember! Good, very good!"

He's finding it hard to breathe again. Why does he know this? "How do you know what happened?"

"I have my ways." He leans forward and Kaeya tries to back away the closer the harbinger gets. He reaches out and pulls the eyepatch off, but Kaeya stubbornly keeps his eye closed. Dottore tsks and tosses the eyepatch aside. It lands on the floor softly, easily forgotten as the doctor sits back down. "You should be grateful you're off-limits to experimentation. A shame, really."

A little part of Kaeya is relieved. However, the doctor doesn't elaborate more. He leaves Kaeya hanging, trying to grasp what little he knows about his situation to guess exactly how much Dottore knows about him. When he doesn't say anything more about it, he huffs. He won't get an answer from him. "Fine, then what do you want from me?" he demands again.

He snorts and the uncharacteristic noise he makes Kaeya frown some more. He's not acting the same as he did this morning—if it still is this morning. He has no way of telling how much time has passed. "What do I want from you? Hah, if I had it my way, we would already be at a laboratory and you would be under my knife! Alas, I have my orders."

Kaeya can't stop the disturbed shudder that runs through him.

"I am simply completing a mission the director has given us."

He frowns in confusion. What has he ever done to catch the eye of the Jester, even in his previous life? He can't recall anything at all—he has always tried not to get onto the Fatui's radar. "What mission?"

He chuckles, low and amused. "My, you are just full of questions today, aren't you?"

His hands turn into fists, his brows furrowing angrily as he yanks against his restraints. "I deserve answers since you've trussed me up like a goddamn pig!" he shouts furiously. He shouldn't be shouting at his captor, but he's too angry and too frustrated to care now.

Dottore stands up. He is tall, and while he isn't as bulky as someone like Master Varka, he is far more intimidating and there is a predatory look on his half-covered face that makes Kaeya flinch away. Perhaps he shouldn't have lost his temper like that. He tries to wriggle backward as the doctor leans forward and grunts when his jaw is captured by his hand in a tight, painful grip. He winces as he is forced to stare directly at him, attempting to pull his head free but the hold is firm.

"Had we done everything my way, you wouldn't be awake right now," Dottore tells him in a low, dangerous tone that sends fearful shivers down Kaeya's spine. "If I had it my way, you wouldn't regain consciousness for weeks and you would have no idea. You would be completely out of your mind the entire time, unable to tell the difference between reality and hallucination—all so I can see what power lies in that eye of yours and call it an experiment."

Kaeya grunts as he pulls his face close to his none too gently.

"You do not get to make demands, Alberich." He reaches up with his other hand and forces his other eye open. He stares straight into his eye, ignoring the way Kaeya struggles to close it again. In a calmer tone, he says, "It's a shame experimentation will have to wait. I would absolutely love to see what kind of unheard magic lies inside this eye."

"It's an eye—all it does is give me the ability to see your ugly face," Kaeya snaps at him. He winces as the grip becomes so strong, he thinks his jaw could be broken at any second, but he can't help the smirk that makes its way onto his lips. "What? Can't handle the truth?"

Dottore lets go of his face only to backhand him hard enough to send him slamming headfirst into the bench.

He yelps in pain and his head bounces off the hard seat, yet he laughs anyway. "I see you're very sensitive about your looks."

"How perceptive of you," he answers sarcastically. He reaches for something in his pocket. "However, I believe that is enough talking from you. We will be having guests shortly. I wouldn't want you to get caught up in any fighting that is bound to happen. We ought to keep the precious cargo safe, after all." He reaches down and shoves a thick cloth between Kaeya's teeth, knotting it tightly at the back of his head. He smirks as he mockingly taps his cheek and then pulls his hands away. "It's too bad I don't have an apple. Then you truly would be just a trussed-up pig."

Kaeya grunts as he's lifted off of the bench. He fights back as hard as he can, kicking out at him and misses. Dottore hits him again and this time, he sees stars. His momentary daze is all he needs to shove him back into the small compartment.

His focus returns just as the top clicks shut. As soon as he does, he pushes against it with his shoulder, but it does nothing except keep him secured inside. He yells as loud as he can through the highly uncomfortable gag when he feels the carriage begin to slow down. When it comes to a stop, he hears Dottore step outside of the cabin and begins speaking to someone. His voice is muffled and fades the farther he walks away.

Kaeya shouts again, his muted yells bringing no immediate attention to himself. He bangs against the walls as hard as he can, desperate for someone from the outside to hear him.

"I can save you."

The Sinner's voice is the only thing he hears in the suffocating compartment, and he shakes as his eye begins to hurt. The Sinner? He closes his eyes and attempts to push the voice out of his head. He doesn't care about suddenly remembering what the voice calls itself; now isn't the time! He needs to escape!

"Let me help, my precious vessel."

He shakes his head. No!

The pain gets worse and he doesn't bother biting back the cry. It makes him wish Dottore had drugged him, then he wouldn't feel this pain. "You are their only hope."

Get out of my head!

"I will not let these pathetic fatuus steal us away."

There is no 'us!' This is my body!

"We share this body, little one. I have saved us before."

That makes him freeze. This… Sinner has saved him before?

"Do you not remember?"

Kaeya tries to remember, but he reluctantly shakes his head when nothing comes up. No.

"I shall show you."

He gasps sharply when he suddenly sees blue skies. He looks around and then down, realizing he is free. He stares in shock at his gloved hands. "This isn't real," he says out loud as he turns his hands over. He's no longer a child, he's standing up as an adult again.

He lifts his eyes and sees Diluc, not as a child, but as an adult as well. He's kneeling in the blood-soaked mud and sees that he's cradling something… Kaeya's eyes widen when he sees that it's him. "This is when I died."

"Watch."

Diluc's hand is pressing against the gaping wound in his chest and his blood is gushing through his fingers. The lost limb looks the same way, but Diluc is unable to press against that wound, too. He frowns at the scene. Even if the injuries were cauterized and Diluc somehow got him to the cathedral, Kaeya wouldn't have survived.

"Barbatos, please!" Diluc suddenly screams.

It startles Kaeya, hearing how clear his voice is.

He bows his head and brings his forehead to Kaeya's. "Venti, please! He is my brother—I'll do anything!"

Kaeya frowns as a strange feeling rolls through him. Had they still been brothers? Even after he'd cast him out, glared at him, practically refused to work with him, and every conversation they had ended in an argument? Yes, their strained relationship was getting better, but Diluc never outwardly told him they were brothers again. He wants to think they were.

There is something else bothering him. Why would Diluc shout for Venti? What could Venti do to help? He's just a bard, isn't he? Unless…

His questions go unanswered when he screams in pure agony. No, he doesn't—his former body does. He stares, shocked as a cloud of black and purple power pours from his body's eye and explodes upwards. He yells for Diluc when he is sent flying into the cliff wall and crashes into it hard. Diluc grunts in pain and pushes himself back up and stares at the body.

"Kaeya!" he shouts. He looks devastated, covered in blood as the Abyssal power encases Kaeya's body. A flash of dark blue and little stars forces Diluc to raise an arm to protect his face. When he lowers his arm, the power recedes and the body is gone. "Kaeya!"

The Sinner's voice rings in his ears as it says, "Oh little one, do not despair; our fates do not end here. Ours is only the beginning."

Kaeya blinks several times as the scene fades away. The darkness of the tiny compartment he's locked in returns and the biting in his wrists brings him back to reality, and he stares at what he thinks are his knees quietly.

He's heard the Sinner say that before, he's sure of it. Is that when he woke up in his childhood bedroom? Why can't he remember it? His eyes widen when he starts putting together the pockets of memory loss he's had recently. The brief loss of control over his own body that night. What did you do to me?

"I saved us. At the time, the herald deemed you unworthy. Now I believe you are finally ready."

What are you talking about?

There is a pause. "I will tell you if you give me control. We will be free. You won't have to feel any pain ever again. You will not have to tell any more lies."

He shakes his head. That doesn't sound like freedom to me.

"Little one, we have been bound together since your birth. Everything that I have done is all to protect us."

Sending something to kill me isn't protecting me.

"I have done nothing to harm you or your loved ones."

He wants to laugh. You tried to have Diluc and Father killed!

"I do not command the forces of the Abyss Order."

Kaeya shakes his head. No, that can't be right. This Sinner is the reason for everything related to the Abyss Order.

"We can be whole."

Whole?

"Indeed. We are bound together by fate."

Kaeya tugs at his wrists again, unaware of the black veins that are spreading on his face, up into his hairline and down to his neck. He has no way of knowing that his eye is slowly changing from a brilliant gold to a fierce violet.

No, you aren't! Leave me alone!

"You have been alone all your life. Your father did not love you. He blamed you for your mother's death. He called you a curse. He would never look at you without hate. You had only just learned to walk when he first hit you."

Kaeya flinches when he sees his birth father in front of him. He feels so much smaller and cowers away, making himself as tiny as possible to avoid the man's anger. He sees the look of hatred in his eyes when he was abandoned and can feel the painful grip he had when he spoke his final words to him. Stop!

"No child should suffer by their parent's hatred."

He hates that the Sinner's voice sounds so sympathetic and understanding, he hates that the Sinner is forcing him to see things he would rather forget, and he hates that they sound like they truly care about him.

"He abandoned you, little one."

His father's back flashes as he walks away, leaving him alone in the storm as he disappears through the trees.

"Diluc abandoned you."

A burning phoenix made of rage and grief flies at him, scarring him so badly it warps his skin.

Stop it!

The visions fade again. "You will never have to go through that again."

He deserves it—he lied for years and years to Crepus and Diluc.

"What lies you speak would become truth."

He shakes his head again. He tries to ignore the way something is making his mind feel heavy, like a thick fog is slowly rolling in. No! I made a promise. I will save Father. You will have no part in that!

"I already am." There is a sensation of someone's hand on the top of his head, so very gentle as it pets his head comfortingly. "All your life, you have suffered. You are unloved. I have watched you give everything, only to be stolen from and beaten down, time and again. I only wish to give you freedom."

But Father… and… and Diluc…

He feels… strange. It's getting difficult to think straight. His head dips forward and his forehead touches his knees. He can't tell if his vision is going blurry or if it is just the pitch-black darkness he is trapped in that makes the edges of his sight fuzzy.

"They will turn on you when they learn the truth."

No, they won't—

"Diluc has done it before. He will do it again."

They won't. He knows they won't… right? He pants for air through his nose as though he can't get enough oxygen into his lungs. Numbness begins to settle in his mind. It feels like he's losing control of himself but… but it feels… nice.

'Luc, he… No, not Father… he wouldn't…

"Crepus is not the saint you believe him to be. He lies to you, and even lies to his own son."

I… No… no… he lies?

"Yes. He lies every day, to everyone." The petting fades away and Kaeya longs for it to come back. It's his only source of comfort and it's gone. A whine escapes the back of his throat. "No longer will you need to feel that pain again. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. I will give that to you."

He feels tears stinging his eyes. …Happy?

"Yes, little one. All you need is to let go."

He can't hear any noises coming from outside.

No one is coming to save him.

No one knows where he is.

He's alone.

The silence is deafening.

He is trapped and likely bound for far-off Snezhnaya. Where he would be used and experimented on and… if he broke…

The Sinner is here… they… they can…

Help me…

It feels like a pair of arms is coiling around him from behind, like someone is giving him a gentle, loving hug. Kaeya would lean into the embrace if he could. The Sinner's voice is tender and soft, as if they are speaking right next to his ear. "Let me grant you salvation."

The deafening silence stretches for a long time. He feels like he is in a dream, lightheaded as he floats towards nothingness.

"Salvation for a sinner can only come from a sinner."

Help…