Chapter 4: …and sinker

—

They didn't speak on the drive home, or once they arrived. Silently, she carried Hope upstairs and put her to bed.

Returning downstairs, she found the pirate seated on a barstool at the kitchen island drinking from a large tumbler of rum. "So the Evil Queen beckons and we all flock to her side, as always."

"I refuse to have this conversation with you yet again." Emma seethed. "I married you. I had your child. I live here in Storybrooke with you. I don't know why my friendship with Regina is such an issue for you!"

"Friendship is it? More like a spell. Queenie has you so under her thumb you can't even see it."

"I haven't seen Regina in months. The last time we really spoke was her coronation, which we almost missed 'cause of you. I barely get to talk with her when she calls or visits because I'm constantly having to stroke your ego and combat these ridiculous insecurities." Glaring at him for a moment, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Regina isn't the problem here Killian. We are."

"What do you mean love?" His tone softening out of fear.

"I mean we haven't been right for a while now."

"Emma you're my true love…"

"I am so tired of that stupid expression. Who gives a rat's ass. We aren't happy. This," she gestured between them, "isn't working. We aren't ourselves. Neither of us is. I can tell that the ocean and your ship are calling to you. You're a pirate. You're meant to be out sailing the world, not stuck in some tiny town raising a kid. You're miserable Killian."

"No, I'm not miserable. I can't be…" he trailed off and that same weird glow retuned to his eyes. Emma watched closely, sure she could see it for real this time.

Grabbing his arm before he could fade out on her, she felt a strange tingle in her fingertips that ran up her arm. She jumped, releasing her grip. The movement brought him out of his stupor.

Shaking her head and rubbing her arm, she addressed him. "Killian, keeping you here isn't right. I can't keep living like this. You can't keep living like this. I care enough about you and our future as parents to know that."

"What are you saying?" His eyes held fear, she could see that clearly, but there was also a glimmer of hope, and it was that glimmer that made the decision for her.

"I release you." She let out a deep breath. "Go raise anchor and set sail. Go explore uncharted waters. Go be who you are meant to be Killian. Come back and see your daughter as often as you can, but come back as yourself. Not as this poor semblance of that charismatic and courageous man. Go find yourself again."

"Will you still be here love?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

"No. Not like this. Not as … your wife." Her hands trembled even though she felt the rightness of what she was saying. Pulling off the ring, she took his hand and placed it onto his palm before closing his fingers around it. She squeezed his hand in hers once and then stepped back.

Rising from his seat, he took a steadying breath. Opening his hand he looked at the ring then pocketed it. Taking one of her hands in his he lifted it to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Meeting her eyes, he smiled sadly, "In that case, I release you too love."

Inexplicably, a warm breeze blew across their faces. Emma thought she smelled salt water for the briefest of moments.

Then Hook's eyes sharpened and his sad smile turned into a wicked grin. "Well love, best be making way!" Lifting the glass of rum, he toasted her and downed the lot, grimacing briefly before exhaling. "Shiver me Timbers!" Shaking it off, he sauntered past Emma, "be sure to tell the little lass, I'll be seeing her from time to time. Got some pillaging and plundering to be taking care of! Now to my true lady, the sea!"

Emma watched the door swing shut and heard him whistling as he headed toward the docks. It was the most like himself she had seen him in a long time.

She wondered at the strange wind that had blown inside their house and how clear his eyes had seemed just afterwards.

Something was going on and there was only one person she could trust to help her get to the bottom of it. It was a good thing she would see her in the morning.

Making her way to the bedroom, Emma wondered if she would get any sleep at all. She had just, in essence, left and been left by her husband.

She was now, for all intents and purposes, a single mom. That should scare her right?

But it didn't.

Instead she felt… lighter. Like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she could think more clearly. For the first time in a long time she felt more like herself.

Laying in the bed, she breathed a sigh of relief. The last thought she had, before she drifted off to sleep, was whether her own eyes had held those blue and red lights too and whether they were now clearer.