Dard Ka Naam Ishq

Chapter 15

Flashback Series Part 7

Abhijeet is waqt apne bistar pe betha hua kisi gehri soch mein gum tha. Woh us larki ke baare mein soch raha tha jis ne uska dil palon mein mom ki tarhan pighla diya tha. Uski takleef use khud ko takleef deti hui mehsoos hoti. Pata nahi aise kyun hota hai, yun achanak hi kisi ajnabi ke itne qareeb kaise ho jaate hain insaan. Koi baat, koi lehja itne zor se aur toot ke kyun mehsoos hota hai. Us ke haath khud ba khud hi side table pe pade apne phone ki taraf barhne lage. Woh aj se pehle kabhi itna beqaraar nahi hua tha. Ahsaasaat ka shor use chain se nahi bethne de raha tha. Bilaakhir us ne phone utha hi liya aur woh number mila daala jo us ki phone ki history mein save reh gaya tha. Us ne kuch dair yunhi us number ko dekha aur phir kisi khayal ke aane pe us number ko apne phone mein Geet ke naam se save kar liya. Ab uski ungliyaan us ke number pe call mila rahi theen.

Purvi apne ghar mein, apne kamre mein bistar pe laiti hui thi. Ke yakdam hi uski gair mutaharik zindagi ghanti ki awaaz se kuch pal ko mutaharik ho gayi. Us ka phone takiye ke neeche daba hua baar baar baj ke apni mojoodgi ka ahsaas dila raha tha. Us ne dheere se phone ko takiye ke neeche se dabocha aur us number pe ghor karne lagi jo screen ke saamne likha a raha tha. Use jhatka sa laga tha. Yeh Abhijeet ka phone number tha jo us ke saamne jagmaga raha tha. Us ne hichkicha ke phone utha liya.

"Hello" Woh itna dheere boli ke uski awaaz bamushkil hi doosri taraf suni gayi hogi.

"Hello, Mein Abhijeet" Abhijeet ne jaise use yaad dilana chaha.

"Abhijeet" Purvi ki awaaz halak mein hi atak ke reh gayi thi.

"Oh sorry, meine ap ko shayad apna naam nahi bataya tha Geet. Waise farz to banta tha ke mein ap ko apna naam batata. Agar ap ko yaad na ho to mein wohi hun.." Abhijeet ko jhatke se yaad aya tha ke usne Geet ko apna naam to bataya hi nahi tha to woh kyunkar use is naam se pehchan paye gi. Abhi woh bol hi raha tha ke use ruk jaana pada.

"Ji, Yaad a gaya hai mujhe. Mein ab phir se sharminda nahi hona chahti isi liye ap ko beech mein hi tok diya" Purvi ne beech mein se hi uski baat ko kaat diya.

"Ap sharminda kyun hoti hain. Insaan ko jab apni ghalti ka ahsaas ho jaaye aur woh use sudhaarne ki koshish bhi kar le, to use sharminda nahi hona chahiye. Aur waise bhi ap ki ghalti ab itni bhi badi nahi ke ap ab tak mujh se sharminda rahein gi. Mitti daaliye" Woh nasihana andaaz mein use naseehat kar raha tha. Magar woh nahi janta tha Purvi ki sharmindagi ki wajah. Aur woh to shayad musalsal ahsaas hone ke baad bhi apni is ghalati ko sudhar nahi pa rahi thi, koi na maloom taqat use is khud garzi pe uksa rahi thi. Woh khud garz ho rahi thi apni tanhayi ki wajah se jis ke aage woh aj tak bebas rahi thi. Woh khud garz ho rahi thi apni behan ki azaaim chupaane ke liye ke woh yeh bhi na samajh paayi ke yeh qadam jo woh barha rahi hai us ke azaaim ke hi to haq mein jaate hain magar phir dil ko woh pheeki si tasalli dilaayi jati ke sab theek ho jaaye ga, kisi ko pata bhi na chal paye ga is adla badli ke baare mein. Aur sab khush reh lein ge. Woh bhi chand din ki khushi paa legi. Geet ko bhi koi pyaar karne wala mil jaaye ga jis ko woh chahti hai aur Abhijeet bhi bil aakhir Geet se hi pyaar karne lage ga magar woh shayad yeh na jaanti thi ke pyaar kabhi kisi ke bas mein raha hai kya? Kya ishq karne waale ne kabhi yeh soch kar ishq bhi kiya hai ke woh ishq kare ga. Yeh to bas ho jata hai, khud ba khud hi, begair kisi ke bhi iraade ke dakhal ke. Agar lafz beikhtiyaar wahid sirf aik cheez ke liye istemaal karna ho to woh sirf ishq hi ho sakta hai. Aur isi tarha banda laakh chaahe ke use ishq ho jaaye to bhi woh na hoga kyunke yeh to rab hi jaane ke kiski qismat mein kis ka ishq aur kis ka roug likha hai.

"Kya hua? Ap khamosh kyun ho gayein? Kuch soch rahi hain kya?" Jab kuch palon tak woh kuch na boli to Abhijeet ko achnabha hua.

"Nahi, bas aise hi. Pata nahi. Yeh dil aur dimaag bhi na, kis tarah jude hote hain na. Kuch log kehte hain ke dil aur dimaag na jisam ke do aise hisse hain jo aik doosre ke bilkul mukhalif hote hain. Lekin mujhe is baat ki kabhi samajh nahi ayi. Mujhe to lagta hai ke dil aur dimaag is tarah aik doosre se jude hue hain jaise..jaise..pata nahi mujhe koi achi tashbeeh kyun nahi soojh rahi. Khair mein bhi paagal hi hun shayad. Dil aur dimaag ka taaluq shayad is liye bohat gehra hai ke dil jab baaton pe uksaata hai na to yeh dimaag hi jisam ko woh qadam uthane pe majboor karta hai. Dil jaise dimaag ko bhi majboor kar deta hai. Mujhe lagta hai ke dil dimaag ke begair bilkul bekaar hai, agar kisi insaan ka dimaag kharab ho jaye ya phir yadasht chali jaaye, kuch bhi aisa ho jaye to woh is dil ka kya kare ga, dil ki baatein kaise maane ga jab uska dimaag usko signal hi nahi dega" Woh kab is behas mein itni gehri ulajh gayi, use pata bhi nahi chala. Us ka dimaag to bas kuch pal ko gair iraadi tor pe yunhi dil aur dimaag ke is taaluq ki taraf chala gaya tha jab woh apne faisalon ke baare mein soch rahi thi, dil use uksara raha tha, dimaag un faisalon pe chalne ke liye sahare dhoond raha tha, bahane jaanch raha tha.

"Bohat dilchasp baatein karti hain ap. Ap ke zoq aur zahanat ki mein daad deta hun. Magar, agar mein yahan pe thoda sa ap ke nazariye ke khilaaf kuch bolun to ap ko aitaraaz to nahi hoga na" Woh use bohat ghor se sun raha tha. Itne ghor se ke kuch pal ko to use apne gird o paish ka bhi ahsaas na raha. Us ki baatein use bohat dilchasp lagein. Us ke nazariyaat bohat gehre the aur use yeh gehra pan pasand aaya tha. Kyunke woh bhi to isi gehre pan ka sheedaayi tha. Aj tak use koi aisa insaan nahi mil saka tha jo usi ki tarha usi ke level ki baatein kar sake, gehre gehre mozoo pe tafseeli aur munazzam behas kar sake us ke saath.

"Ji, bilkul nahi. Ap boliye. Meri nazar mein har nazariya ahtaraam ke qaabil hai" Woh dheere se muskurayi thi.

"Mere khayaal se ap dimaag ko kuch zyaada hi ahmiyat de rahi hain, itni ke ap ne dil ko bilkul hi nazar andaaz kar diya hai. Mein maanta hun ke dimaag jism ka aik sab se aham hissa hai lekin dil, woh to shayad dimaag se bhi zyaada aham hai. Meine suna hai ke dil ke chakkar mein log apna dimaag kho dete hain. Apni zehni halat bigaad lete hain. Pata nahi kaise par dil mein dimaag ko palatne ki salahiyat hai. Dil ki dharkan ruk jaaye to insaan apni zindagi se hi haath dho bethata hai jab ke dimaag ap ki zindagi pe asar to karta hai magar kam az kam kuch arsa ap ko zinda to rakh paata hai. Dil phir jaaye to jaise zindagi hi murda ho jati hai, jisam to wahin hota hai magar shayad rooh ki mout ho jati hai" Aj bohat arse baad woh kisi se itna khul kar bola tha ke woh sab kuch bhool gaya tha, yeh bhi ke doosri taraf bolne waali aik ajnabi se zyaada nahi hai. Magar phir bhi jaise us ka dil chaha ke aj jee chah kar bole us ajnabi ke saath jo ke ajnabi mehsoos hi nahi ho rahi thi. Shayad jab aik hi dhang pe chalne waale do insaan mil jayein to ajnabiyat aise hi mit jati hai.

"Shayad ap theek keh rahe hain, dil aur dimaagh dono hi aik doosre ke liye laazim hain, aik doosre ke beghair adhoore hain. Khair, hum bhi kaisi baatein kar rahe hain. Yeh bhi koi baat hai karne waali" Purvi boli thi aur doosri taraf woh halke se muskuraya tha.

"Sharminda mat hoiye. Ap sharminda bohat hoti hain. Aik achi sehatmand behas se kisi ka kuch nahi jaata. Waqt guzaari aur kuch lutf hi sahi" Abhijeet ne kursi pe araam se taik lagali thi.

"Waise ap ne phone kyun kiya tha. Shayad mujhe poochna yaad hi nahi raha. Apni hi baaton mein kho gayi thi" Purvi ne jhijhakte hue istafsaar kiya tha. Woh un baaton mein kuch is tarah hi to doobi thi ke yeh poochna aakhir kaise yaad aata ke yeh phone kis liye kiya gaya hai.

"Kabhi kabhi waqaie kho jana chahiye. Taake kho ke khud ko paaya ja sake. Ap ki awaaz se lagta hai bohat arse se khul ke baat nahi ki aap ne kisi se is liye mujhe khushi hai ke ap khul gayein hain chaahe kuch pal ko hi sahi" Us ne badi zahanat se uska sawaal nazar andaaz kar diya tha. Shayad woh khud bhi nahi jaanta tha ke usne yun use phone kyun kiya tha, shayad sirf us ki madhosh awaaz sunne ke liye, ya phir uska woh dooba bharaya lehja sunne ke liye, ya phir uski gehri baatein sunne ke liye. Is ka faisala mushkil tha.

"Ap kitne sahi andaaze lagate hain is ka mujhe andaaza nahi tha. Waise, ap ne meri baat ko nazar andaaz kar diya hai, ap ne phone kyun kiya hai" Purvi ko hairat thi ke is insaan ne sirf uski awaaz se uske dil ka haal itne qareeb se kaise jaan liya, uske dil ka haal janne ki to aj tak us ke ird gird kisi ne zaroorat mehsoos hi nahi ki thi.

"Ap ko phone karne ka iraada nahi tha. Ghalti se hi call lag gayi thi. Call lag hi gayi thi to socha baat karne mein kya harj hai" Us ne bilaakhir baat banane ki koshish ki. Ab uski yeh koshish kamyaab sabit hui thi ya na kamiyab yeh to Geet ke jawaab pe hi manisar tha.

"Jab jhoot bol nahi sakte hain to jhoot bolte hi kyun hain" Us ne jaise palon mein uski chori pakdi thi aur woh pal ko to jaise harbada ke reh gaya tha.

"Kya matlab" us ne bokhla ke aankhein bhaincheein. Abhi to uske chehre ke taasurat Geet na dekh sakti thi tab bhi usne uski awaaz se uska jhoot aur uski chori pakad li thi.

"Ap..ap durust keh rahi hain Geet. Meine jhoot bola. Pata nahi kyun. Aur pata nahi meine ap ko phone kyun kiya? Mein yeh beyaan karne se qasir hun. Pata nahi kaise aur kyun, ap ki us din ki baaton ne mere dil pe bohat asar kiya hai, shayad ap ki khariyat poochna chahta tha ke ap theek hain na ya phir...ap ki taraf dosti ka haath barhana chahta tha..mein ap ko akele hi tanhayi mein ghutne nahi dunga. Kya mein ap ki tanhayi baant sakta hun? Shayad mujhe bhi aik achi dost mil jaye aur ap ki tanhayi bhi door ho jaye"

To Be Continued