Another Girl Another Planet XXI

Ravenwood

A lot of things had been happening that day, and she had been trying to avoid most of them. The extent of her socialising with her girlfriend's housemates had been going to plead with Adam Mitchell to fix the lock on her door, and so she'd actually spent most of the day at home. It was almost annoying that she had promised Jenny not to go home until she saw her, because she had to traipse back onto the TARDIS with Adam, after she hurried him away because Sally Sparrow declared she was coming over and Clara couldn't be bothered dealing with her.

So she had left the TARDIS, then returned to the TARDIS, avoiding the alleged kittens in the main room because cat afterbirth didn't smell very nice to her sensitive bat-nose, and now she had left again because Jenny had shown up and whisked her away claiming she had a surprise. Clara didn't get a word in edgeways, Jenny taking her the long way around the ship to leave without causing a fuss, barely even noticing that the lock had been fixed. She was excited about something, and was talking a lot without really saying anything at all.

"Wait right there," Jenny ordered, sitting Clara down in the armchair of her own living room, the one Missy had occupied the previous night. Clara was puzzled but stayed there, trying not to look at the spot where Danny Pink's ghost had been standing so recently. So many bad things kept happening to her in that house… if it wasn't for the fact she was sure bad things would happen to her no matter where she was – and because the rent was so cheap – she might entertain the idea of leaving Hollowmire.

If Clara were to, in future, attempt to remember what else she had been thinking of that evening, she would not be able to. Her thoughts had possibly trailed off towards Hollowmire as its own surreal entity, and then Jenny had reappeared, Jenny who had disappeared with that bag of her mother's into the crypt bedroom below.

It was a lie that she couldn't remember what she was thinking that evening when Jenny had come back into the room, said "Ta-da!" in her sweet voice and did a twirl wearing a blue sundress with white daisies printed on it (and that black wool scarf Clara had made for her), because what Clara had been thinking was that Jenny Harkness was the most beautiful girl who had ever existed. Her jaw had dropped, and she had been staring, and feeling inadequate in all of her dull black clothes very suddenly.

"Are you okay?" Jenny waved a hand in front of her eyes, making Clara's attention swim back into the real world. Jenny had walked closer while Clara had been hypnotised, and was leaning down. When Clara snapped back to herself she took advantage of this immediately, pulling Jenny's face – and mainly her lips – closer with both hands so that she could kiss her. She could sense the surprise.

"You're the most wonderful girl in the entire galaxy, probably," Clara said when she let Jenny go, though Jenny didn't actually move away, just stayed tantalisingly close and warm.

"One galaxy's not so big when you're a seasoned time traveller like myself," Jenny said.

"I'm so close to asking you to marry me you have no idea," Clara joked. Jenny kissed her again for a moment.

"Please don't propose," she said, "We can't afford a wedding." Clara laughed.

"That's true, I suppose. Is there a special occasion, then?" Clara asked, wishing she was on the sofa so that Jenny could sit down next to her.

"The special occasion is that Ashildr told me you might like it if I wore a dress – I had no idea your brain would melt," Jenny told her, "What's the big deal? You wear dresses all the time and I don't drool. I only don't wear them much because they're impractical."

"Maybe I'm offended by your lack of drooling."

"You're very into girly-girls, aren't you?" Jenny toyed.

"I suppose – but I'm mainly into you," she said.

"Ooh, smooth."

"Thank you," she smiled.

"Come into the kitchen, I've got dinner for us," Jenny declared, moving away and holding out her hand for Clara to take, which Clara did, very gently, for it was her broken hand. "You'll like it, it's alien, and I haven't cooked. Plus I stole the money, so it's basically zero effort on my part, so I really haven't done anything special at all."

"This dress you've found is special enough," Clara said. She couldn't take her eyes off Jenny, and she hardly thought that was a crime. Jenny put her bag down on the table and had to dig through it to pull out another, larger bag, an insulated one people used when they were bringing takeaway to stop the food from going cold. It was a little more futuristic-looking, though. "Where is Ashildr, anyway?"

"Food first, questions later, I'm starving. Thank god I got extra for myself," Jenny said. The polystyrene boxes misled Clara into believing she was just going to end up eating a curry or something, that it would be impossible to tell from the visuals that what she was eating was notably unearthly. That was not the case though.

"Oh my god," she said. It was a large dead thing that reminded Clara squeamishly of a very bloated leech.

"Looks aren't everything, Clara," Jenny told her sternly, "Those worms are the perfect gateway into alien junk-food. They look weird, but they're soft and they don't have any bones. And it's been deep-fried – think of it like one of those battered sausages you always get from the fish and chip shop."

"That's you who gets those; I keep telling you they're a heart attack waiting to happen."

"Well I have two hearts, so one heart attack would be like stubbing your toe in terms of severity," Jenny said.

"It's that kind of attitude that got you stabbed through one of them."

"Are you going to trust your girlfriend and eat the worm, Clara?"

"…Yes," Clara said begrudgingly, "But only because I loved it just then when you called yourself my girlfriend." Jenny was right, anyway. Of course she was, being a master chef trained in Venice, and all that. It was a nice alien worm, in the end. Jenny was eating what looked like noodle soup, but Clara realised after a few minutes that what she thought were noodles were actually very thin, stringy tentacles, like those of a jellyfish. Jenny had really brought a lot of space food for her to try. "So?" Clara entreated, "What's happened today?"

"I got my rank reinstated. I'm now officially Major Jenny again."

"That's great!" Clara beamed, happy for Jenny's victory. Jenny smiled a little, but not much. She had been very dour recently. "Isn't it?"

"I guess – but it feels a bit hollow. I still didn't stop Cargill from ordering the Death Charge, and it was me who told Missy to tell mum about the Fiovis Ichor. If I hadn't have done that-"

"It already happened, Jen," Clara said, "It's not your fault. And that Fiovis Ichor was dangerous, you said."

"Mum said."

"Well, I trust Thirteen's opinion on what is and isn't dangerous, and so should you. Ask Eleven about it, he'll be able to tell you about Fiovis Ichors, I bet," Clara said.

"I can't ask him about it, it's his future."

"Look in the library. Ask the TARDIS," Clara said.

"Maybe I will. I didn't think of that…" she said.

"…You are going back, then?"

"Yeah, I will," Jenny said, "I think. I think I should. I'll take the spaceship, too, it has a teleporter built in to go straight back to the TARDIS."

"Uh-huh… and when will you go, do you think?"

"We're still eating."

"I know, it's just, we haven't really had a chance to finish off what we started last night. Before everything happened," Clara said sultrily, "So I was thinking, maybe we could, continue? That is, if you don't have to go running off to the stars again right away."

"Well I was going to, but you're making an incredibly enticing offer… I'll see. It might cheer me up."

"I'd hope so, you've been glum since yesterday."

"I think understandably glum."

"I suppose. But who knows when we'll next see each other after you leave tonight? You have to take every chance that comes along."

"You definitely don't, and it'll only be a few days, I'm sure."

"A few days? How will I cope?"

"With your porn stash? I think you'll cope fine," Jenny said, and Clara dropped her fork and balled her fist.

"Okay, it is not a 'porn stash', Jenny," she said coldly, "It's a collection of vintage Playboys. They are worth a lot of money and I do not use them for wanking."

"It's a porn stash, and you definitely do."

"I don't!" Clara protested.

"If it's definitely a collection and not a guilty dirty stash, why do you keep them all in a cardboard box under your bed next to the dildo crate?" Jenny questioned, raising her eyebrows.

Clara thought this over for a long time before saying, "Because exposure to light will damage them. Like how flash photography damages the Mona Lisa." Jenny gawped at her.

"The Mona Lisa!?" she burst out laughing, "That's ridiculous."

"They're not for masturbating over, that's what the internet and pretty blonde alien girls are for," Clara said.

"Oh wow, you've just helped me finally discover my purpose in life. Getting you off."

"That's definitely your purpose in life, I didn't think there was any debate. Anyway, I'm thinking of taking the dildos out of the dildo box."

"And doing what with them?"

"Getting a shelf. Put one up, on the wall."

"There isn't enough wood in the world for the shelves you would need for all your dildos," Jenny remarked.

"Or a cabinet."

"Why?"

"Because the random strangers I used to bring home would get intimidated if they saw an entire cabinet of fake penises in my bedroom – plus, the Doctor used to barge in there all the time," Clara said, "But now the only person who goes into my room is my hopefully long-term girlfriend who has actually used some of those sex toys."

"Probably most of them if we're being honest."

"Plus, it's my house, and maybe I want to nicely arrange the dildos somewhere."

"Oh, like a flower bouquet. Will Adam Mitchell let you put up a shelf for them?"

"Probably," she shrugged, "Why wouldn't he? You should put up the shelf. You can do some DIY. It'd be hot, you can get a tool-belt."

"This seems like a fantasy of yours."

"You could wear it with your dress," Clara said, getting a glassy look over her eyes.

"Will I never be good enough for you as just me?" Jenny asked jokingly, and Clara laughed, but then she sighed and grew gloomy again. Clara was a little worried. She thought if Jenny did go back to the TARDIS and spend some time with the Doctor for a few days, though, that would cheer her up. Jenny was right, anyway, she did have reason to be out of sorts after yesterday. It was hard for Clara having to be the brighter one of the two of them, when Jenny was usually so much like sunshine. "Ashildr told me I'm insecure."

"Ashildr doesn't know you," Clara said, perplexed, "And you never told me where she's gone."

"She left," Jenny said, "She's not my prisoner, I can't make her stay. She had some kind of debt to collect on in Nostraleo, I didn't question it. I gave her a glowing recommendation to the Alliance, though. They wanted me for this post, see, one of their couriers found me again while I was getting us this food with this credit chip I stole. I don't know what it was, some elite task force kind of thing. I'm not interested, obviously, I can't go taking a job when I need to be on the TARDIS so I can spend time with you and my father. But I said they should get Ashildr for it. If they can find her again, that is."

"She acted like a know-it-all, did she?" Clara asked.

"She's your ex-girlfriend."

"Yeah, not that I remember. Don't listen to Ashildr, she just likes to big herself up. She still has a human brain, it's a wonder she can still remember her own name after so many millions of years*," Clara said, "What did she say about you being insecure?"

"She said why am I so insecure about my relationship that I feel the need to make grand gestures all the time," Jenny muttered sulkily.

"Are you insecure?" Clara asked.

"Nearly everyone else I've been with has left me. Maybe. Two-hundred years of getting dumped can develop a lot of inhibitions in a girl," she said.

"I'm not a princess, Jen, I'm only a lowly vampire. You don't have to shower me with gifts all the time, you're enough of a gift. And I'm not just trying to be cheesy or get into your pants, you're more than I could ever imagine in my wildest dreams, my own personal beautiful alien GF. Really, you can stop with the presents, you know – I feel bad because I can't match them," Clara said, reaching across the table to pick up the end of the woollen scarf Jenny was, yes, still wearing.

"What are you talking about? This scarf is the best thing in the history of forever," Jenny said defensively.

"I'd hate to argue with you and your impeccable taste," Clara said, dropping it, taking Jenny's hand across the table instead, like people did on dates in fancy restaurants.

"You don't have to get me anything."

"And you don't have to get me anything aside from your regular company. You see, it's a mutual thing," Clara said, "Although I am a big fan of the alien food you bring over – which I do think is fair enough, because I'm the one who pays for all the food that's here, and you eat like an entire extra family is sleeping next to me." Jenny continued to eat her food for a while longer, until something else came to Clara's mind. "So, what happens to Cargill now…?"

"Um…" Jenny did not answer.

"If he's responsible for a million deaths, does that mean the Alliance will… you know… execute him?"

"…That's a yes and no question."

Clara asked seriously now, "How is that a yes and no question?" and Jenny sighed.

"…He's sentenced to be executed. Obviously. But he won't be. His wife, Ashley Cargill – they're kind of a double act – will break him out. As in she will break him out. I read the news reports on the TARDIS last night when I couldn't sleep," Jenny explained.

"What if you didn't check? What if you didn't know he won't die?" Clara persisted.

"Clara, I don't agree with capital punishment," she said firmly, "That's why I looked it up, not out of benign curiosity. If I hadn't known Ashley would break him out, I wouldn't have taken him back to the Alliance. I might have had him locked up somewhere forever, until his 'Fountain of Youth' juice ran out. I don't know. My father knows a lot about cruel and unusual punishments." That was a true enough statement about the Doctor, Clara supposed.

"…Okay, I'm not… I'm not asking this to be an arse, alright?" Clara said, "I'm not judging you for the things you've done before, I just… how can you be against capital punishment when you've killed people?"

"It's different," Jenny answered. She didn't say anything else, but neither did Clara. When it struck Jenny that she possibly owed Clara a genuine explanation, she resigned herself to speak, playing absently with the scarf hanging loosely around her neck as she did. "Right, when you're… in battle, or it's a fight or flight moment, in the heat of warfare, or something just as immediately endangering, it's still wrong, but it's understandable. Yes, I've killed people, and I'm not proud of any of it. All I feel is shame. When I wasn't even two years old, someone shot and killed Emmett DeLacey in front of me, and in an instant I pulled the trigger on my crossbow and they were shot through the eye. I didn't make a decision. That's a reflex, an immediate response.

"The justice system shouldn't be about punishment. No justice system should. People should be better than the ones on trial, shouldn't stoop to their level of wanting to see someone suffer. The justice system should prioritise keeping the rest of society safe, and on rehabilitation. Capital punishment isn't like when I shot the kid who killed Emmett – because they were a kid, and for two-hundred years not a day goes by that I don't think there could have been something I could have done to save both of them, just like there could have been something I could have done to save Kitty Winthrop. The death penalty isn't a reflex, it's a torture. It's a load of bureaucrats playing god while hiding behind legislation. They fabricate their own right to say who gets to live and who gets to die; lock Cargill up to keep him from hurting anybody else, but you should never kill someone out of revenge."

"Is that why you keep his ashes still? Because you feel guilty you couldn't save him?"

"Yes," Jenny answered. "Besides, you know what it's like. You threatened to kill Ashildr yesterday."

"She hurt you."

"I know, and I know you didn't hurt her and she started praying at you, I'm just pointing out the way instinct works and how it's different to any human legal system I disagree with. Anyway, Oswin proved ghosts exist, who knows that Emmett hasn't been travelling with me for all this time?" Jenny said.

"Well I hope he doesn't show himself any time soon, I've had enough of ghosts for a while," Clara grumbled.

"Doesn't it bother you? That I've killed before?"

"It would only bother me if you thought it was alright," Clara said, "Or maybe not, not if I was with Ashildr for a decade. She'll kill anything that looks at her funny. Probably got it into my head that I could 'fix her' or 'make her better' – that sounds like something I would do. I can get a bit of a complex about that sometimes. What day is it?"

"Saturday."

"Oh, right, my day off tomorrow then," Clara said.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"What? No, you're going back to the TARDIS, it'll be good for you. I have an idea to convince Esther to come out and buy new crockery with me at the outlet mall about an hour's drive away," Clara said, "There's a Burger King there. I could buy some new shoes…"

"Well, you and Esther have fun doing that," Jenny said, "I'll be doing some cool space stuff."

"Crockery is very cool."

"Oh, yes. Definitely."

"What time is it?" Clara continued to ask Jenny boring questions just because she couldn't be bothered checking her phone and seeing for herself.

"Nearly midnight."

"So there's still a few hours left until it's time for either of us to go to bed… I haven't any idea what the two of us might do to occupy that time…"

"Looks to me like you've had a few very good ideas of what we might do for a few hours," Jenny said, smiling slightly now they had left darker topics behind, "And I look forward to hearing all of them, in excessive detail."

*Yes, I know Ashildr cannot remember her name and they call her "Me" in the canon, but the syntax of having to call her "Me" in narrative is dreadful and so, like so many other things, I will ignore that

AN: I was gonna end the day here and move right onto Day 146, but I feel like throwing in a chapter of Adwin fluff to end things. So do you guys want a cheeky Adwin chapter next?