Dark Side of Your Room

Jenny

Her forehead had been a bit sore already after she'd head-butted Jack, but landing face-first onto somebody's floor exacerbated the pain considerably. She had lost her balance mid-teleport because the smoothness of the Singularity's technology had caught her off-guard again, leaving her sprawled out somewhere new. It still hurt, dropping out of the sky onto her front, despite the soft carpet she found herself on; though, truthfully, she was glad she didn't land on her back and break the rifle resting there. Somebody had shrieked when she appeared.

"Jenny!?"

"Clara…" she said the name mostly to herself when she realised where she was, and turned her head just in time to see Clara Ravenwood climb over the back of her sofa to come and help Jenny off the floor. They were in her living room, and it was roasting as always with all the candles Clara had burning because of her hyper light-sensitivity. Warm and cosy and it smelt more like home than anywhere else Jenny could remember in her lifetime. Even Clara's icy-cold hands were a comfort. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"You're filthy," Clara told her, "And covered in blood – whose blood is it?" She got a look in her eyes when she saw the blood on Jenny, her pupils dilating, most of it on her arms from Corly Moss's bullet wound, and the rest of it left over from Jack. There was some of it staining her hair dark pink.

"It's not mine, I'm alright," she said. Her hand was still clinging onto her revolver but the Singularity had rolled away. She tried to drop it onto the floor but struggled, her hand seized up.

"You're shaking, oh my god," Clara said, kneeling next to her, "Come on, lean against the sofa." Clara helped her to do that, which she didn't mind. "I know it's not your blood, I can smell that it's someone else's. Two people's. What's happened?" Clara stayed knelt down and watching her, pushing Jenny's hair out of her face at one point and studying her, worried. Jenny merely watched her for a while, just relieved that she was there, that the Singularity had taken her to where she most wanted to be in the world.

"When was the last time we talked?"

"The other evening, you rang for nearly two hours and told me about going to a jungle planet," Clara said, "We've only spoken to each other twice for almost a week, actually…"

"God, I'm sorry," she said, feeling great regret at what she deemed a terrible mistreatment of this most wonderful girl. Clara smiled.

"It's fine, you've got your own life to lead."

"Yes, but my favourite part of my life is you," Jenny said, "I've missed you so much. You have no idea."

"So, are you gonna tell me whose blood this is yet?"

"Some of it's Jack's," Jenny said, "Some of it's this other bloke's, this… he got shot in the gut and I sewed him up, that's why I'm covered in his blood. Saved his life. Even with my dodgy thumb." She was looking at her thumb when she said this, which smarted again, when she was taken by surprise as Clara kissed her cheek.

"How heroic," she whispered, sitting down next to Jenny (who was now blushing), both of them leaning against the back of the sofa, on the floor, which Jenny had accidentally got all muddy and damp.

"Alright, well, what happened is Jack went off looking for this device, called the Singularity, and it's… rolled over there," Jenny pointed it out, sitting against the closed door that led down to the bedroom in the cellar. Clara crawled a little to go and grab it because she was closer, but as soon as she touched it she winced as though she'd been burned. "Are you okay!?" Clara shook her hand in the air.

"I'm fine, it just burnt me," she said, looking back, "Did you know it would do that?"

"No! It didn't burn anybody else. Why would I want to burn you?"

"I'd do it to you, it might be funny," said Clara. Jenny was too exhausted in that moment to stop her eyes from briefly wandering to another part of Clara that wasn't her face – but if she would crawl on all fours in front of her then Jenny didn't really think it could be helped. Clara cleared her throat. "That's my arse you're ogling. I can see you."

"Can I touch it?"

"Not until you wash your hands, no," Clara said, pawing at the Singularity with the sleeve of her dressing gown pulled over her hand. As she returned to where she'd been sat before she rolled it along with the fabric guarding her skin, until it was close enough for Jenny to pick up. It didn't burn her. "Alright, so what is the burn ball?"

"Burn ball?" Jenny questioned. "Singularity. I told you that's what it's called. It probably just doesn't like you because you're a vampire."

"Oh, that's nice."

"It is an ancient Time Lord weapon," Jenny explained, "You know the Time Lords and the Vampires hated each other."

"Makes us sound like Romeo and Juliet."

"Juliet and Juliet," Jenny corrected, flashing her a grin. Clara laughed.

"Alright, fair enough. Weapon, then?"

"In the wrong hands. Luckily, my hands aren't the wrong ones. It's a… Bad Wolf emulator. They thought it was so dangerous that the locked it away on a hostile planet in a big vault in a mountain and made us pass a bunch of tests to get it," she said, "Well, made me pass, because it would only let people who are Time Lords do it. Which was cool, actually, you know, because Jack and River didn't think that it would recognise me as being a Time Lord, and neither did I really. But it did. I can't wait to tell the Doctor, he'll think it's great, and he'll know what to do with this stupid thing."

"A… Bad Wolf emulator? Like Rose? Like, the Time Vortex? And I'm the only person who can't use it?" Clara questioned.

"I don't think anyone should use it, ever, I wanted to destroy it. That's why Jack jumped down and grabbed it for himself before I could, because he thought I'd break it immediately. He brought down the entire cave. This thing teleported us out," she exclaimed, "There was a whole other group of treasure hunters coming after it, called Kasterborous-"

"That's the constellation where Gallifrey is," Clara said, and Jenny stared at her. "What? I'm more than just a pretty face, you know."

"Well I wish you'd been with us," Jenny said, "Some megalomaniac called himself 'the Conqueror,' obsessed with Time Lords. He's the one who got shot, who I saved, when Jack… Clara, you wouldn't believe the real reason he made us go out there, why he wanted this thing."

"Surprise me."

"It was all to find Ianto."

"Who?"

"His dead ex-boyfriend." Jenny slumped against the sofa. "Ianto's not dead anymore, Liam Kent brought him back just like he brought Esther. Without all the lightning stuff. Kent dropped some… cryptic hint, and Jack immediately ran off to find him. And I almost died, and I can't… I'm sorry."

"I don't know what you're apologising for."

"For being stupid!" she exclaimed, "For… being reckless. I'm too reckless. Just look at me, it's a miracle I didn't die, and die for good. All I was thinking about was you, and what would you think if I didn't come home? You'd think I'd just been stupid, and I didn't really care, and I'd gone off and got myself killed without thinking of you at all, and I'd be dead and you'd hate me and never forgive me and it would have all been Jack's fault! And he would have ruined everything just by being selfish."

"So you're angry as well as stinky," Clara said. Remarkably, she was still smiling softly, still in her make-girlfriend-feel-better mode.

"How are you not furious about this too?"

"You saved someone's life, and you looked after yourself and are okay, and you are going to do the noble thing with the all-powerful universe-dominating sphere," Clara said, "And you and your magic orb came back to me."

"It's because I was upset and I was holding it and it… I suppose it works telepathically."

"What were you upset about?"

"Oh my god, you won't… you won't believe this," Jenny sat up and took Clara's hands with hers, though they were still covered in Corly's dried blood. "I left because he was about to propose to Ianto. With an engagement ring, one he's had for years. And you won't guess – he's been keeping it in a plastic bag up his bum!" Clara gawked at her.

"His bum?"

"Yeah!"

"…This is what you're actually so angry about, isn't it? The engagement ring thing?" Clara said.

"It's just not very nice to be made to feel like a placeholder."

"Oh, I made this terrible mistake a few years ago," Clara began telling a story, "Where I really just adored this boy, and he was a complete arse, really, but he was nice to his friends and he was hot. I followed him around like a lost puppy, but he was all-for this other girl, and they were dating on-again-off-again because they fought all the time. And whenever they were off again, he called me up, and I'd always go and sleep with him, for ages, until he just… didn't end up breaking up with her for once. And I was out in the cold and I realised he never even really cared about me as much more than a friend. So, I know how you feel, being a substitute. I suppose he never roped me into helping him track her halfway across the known universe with an alien artefact, but…"

"How do you always know the right thing to say? I go my whole life being emotionally closed-off, and then you come along, and it's like you're inside my head half the time. This when I've known you for less than a year."

"Probably just means we have a good relationship."

"Well I don't know what you're thinking like you do with me."

"I'm only thinking about how much I love you," Clara shrugged, "I wouldn't say that I'm a particularly complicated person. Are you sure he had it in his bum?"

"Yes, I'm sure, he keeps all sorts up there," Jenny said, "Usually some sort of micro-gun."

"He, um… oh wow…" Clara didn't know what to say. It was kind of weird, Jenny supposed. "Well. I'd keep an engagement ring in my bum for a thousand years for you." Jenny fake-gasped.

"That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me." Clara giggled.

"Do you know what's way better than engagement ring, though?"

"What?"

She leant close to Jenny and said, "A scarf." Jenny laughed. She was still wearing her scarf.

"I got it dirty, I'll wash it in the sink later," she said.

"You'll have an engagement ring one day."

"You can't know for sure that someone's ever going to propose to me."

"Of course I do," Clara said, "Because, one day, I'll propose to you, and I'll make sure I have the most amazing ring in the universe for you to wear. And then you'll have to go return the favour because I'm not not wearing an engagement ring." Jenny stared at her in shock. "What?"

"You would marry me? You'd… you want to marry me one day?"

"Are you stupid? Of course I do," Clara said, "Not for ages, though, mind. I can't think of anything else to aim for in life apart from marrying you eventually. It would be great; we'd both wear a dress and then someone would have to paint a portrait of us because I don't show up in photos. And we'd both be so pretty, every straight boy in the room would be jealous." Jenny narrowed her eyes.

"Do you think about this a lot?"

Clara paused for a while, then quickly said, "No." Jenny's face broke into a grin.

"Oh my god, you totally do!"

"I don't!" Clara protested, "You're making me sound like a head case. Anyway – look – you smell rank. Why don't you go have a shower and get changed, and I will order us some pizza because I haven't had any tea yet."

"Alright, but only to hide my tears because I'm so distraught you just said that I stink."

"Why should I care if you're 'distraught'? I don't even like you." Jenny smiled and leant over to kiss her, but Clara only let her do so for a very short handful of seconds. "I'm being serious about you smelling. I'll kiss you after you have a wash. Come on, you'll feel better." Clara got to her feet still holding one of Jenny's hands, Jenny staying on the floor.

"Can I stay over tonight?"

"Yes, but only if you're clean. You're not coming anywhere near my bed in this state," Clara tugged on her hand gently and she finally gave in and stood up. "Go on, I'll bring you clothes up in a minute after I order food and get a drink from downstairs." A 'drink from downstairs' was code for more blood, probably because Jenny was covered in the stuff and it was difficult for Clara to manage around it.

"Well, I won't have much. Just a large meat feast, large cheesy chips, two portions of chicken nuggets and onion rings," Jenny said when she was going up the stairs. Clara raised her eyebrows. "And a kebab."

"How are you gonna pay for all that?"

"…Clara…" she whined.

"It's so expensive going out with you, you know. Now get out of here before I decide not to get you all that crap."

Jenny beamed and said, "I love you," then disappeared towards the bathroom.

/

"I hope you know what an abomination you are," Clara commented dryly, watching Jenny make the most disgusting sandwich known to man, which consisted of two slices of pizza with cheesy chips and chicken nuggets and an ungodly amount of curry sauce all squished together. The kebab she was 'saving for later' and so it remained mostly untouched. Clara sat watching Jenny shovel this heart attack waiting to happen into her mouth while nibbling on her own slice of margherita.

"I'm hungry," she garbled with her mouth full.

"What was that?"

Jenny waited a few seconds to chew and swallow before repeating herself, "I'm hungry."

"Clearly. Is your stomach bigger on the inside?"

"It's my metabolism, it's through the roof. And then I do so much exercise on top of that," Jenny said, "I'm an alien, you know." She took another bite from her creation and curry sauce dripped onto the top of Clara's table. It was a good thing she'd put kitchen roll down first. "I'll clean up any mess."

"You'd better."

"Can we talk about our fantasy wedding you've been planning?"

"Okay, all I do all day is sit around in a bookshop that only gets about five customers a week. There's a lot of time for daydreaming," Clara said defensively.

"No one's ever fantasised about marrying me before."

"I'm sure a lot of people have fantasised about marrying you, Jenny," Clara told her, "You're just too oblivious to notice. Which is exactly why I'd have to be the one to propose; if it got left down to you, you never would. You're rubbish at that stuff."

"Would we both walk down the aisle, do you think? It's just – I'd kind of like for the Doctor to give me away, you know?"

"Are you sure it wouldn't be weird? What with me being… his wife. And stuff." Jenny shrugged.

"I don't know. You could ask him."

"When am I ever going to see the Doctor?" Clara questioned. Jenny didn't say anything for a moment and took another bite out of her pizza sandwich, then she claimed it needed more salt, so she added more salt and also went to fetch one of the four jars of homemade mayonnaise she had concocted the last time she was in Hollowmire. There had originally been seven jars, but Clara had already eaten one of them, and then Jenny had pawned another two off on the Spooks and their elderly next-door neighbour. Then she got frustrated and hit her hand on the table, making Clara jump.

"Ketchup!" she exclaimed, "I haven't got any ketchup! That's what's missing."

"Jen, this is literally disgusting," Clara said as she got up again to go get ketchup, "I'm worried about your cholesterol."

"I'm very healthy," said Jenny, up-ending the bottle of ketchup and squirting an unholy amount of it onto her 'sandwich.' "You should try it, it's nice."

"I think if I so much as licked that I'd die immediately."

"We should serve them at our wedding."

"Ha, ha. No. No matter who I marry, the food at the reception will be a carvery and there will be an unlimited amount of gravy there specially reserved for the bride." Jenny thought that Clara's idle wedding-planning was rather sweet, and on a more low-key note, if they ever did get married it meant she wouldn't have to do much work by way of planning. She would probably just let Clara do whatever she wanted. And along with that, she was flattered, and she liked Clara telling her what she was thinking about.

"Both brides?" she asked wryly.

"No, just me. This isn't up for debate."

"Oh, god," Jenny said, looking defeated for a moment and staring at the food in her hand, realising something else. She met Clara's eyes pitifully, "Am I going to have to go to Jack and Ianto's wedding?" Clara bit her lip.

"That doesn't sound fun. What if there's free food, though? And a free bar?"

"Is that all you care about? Free stuff?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to go to their wedding."

"You don't have to. They'll probably elope, or something."

"Maybe we should elope."

"I'm not eloping with you," Clara said, "Other Me eloped, and now my dad hates the Doctor. And he'd hate you, too, if we eloped. This whole thing is hypothetical, anyway, I'm still adjusting to being undead, I can't go getting married. It'd be way too much. It's tricky enough already working out how to be in a long-term relationship with someone. Carry on eating your… thing." When bade, Jenny did carry on eating her 'thing.' Only a few more bites, though, until she had thought about what Clara had said some more.

"What do you mean, 'tricky'?"

"Well, this is actually the longest amount of time I've ever been with a girl before," Clara said.

"Oh wow, don't I feel special," Jenny smiled, "I wish I could say the same for you, but I was with Astrid for a good few years. Someday, though, hopefully?"

"Definitely. Anyway. How long are you going to stay here for?"

"Oh, I don't know. Until the morning? I don't really like up and leaving you in the middle of the night. I'll make breakfast," Jenny said, "But then I should leave. I have to go get my ship back from Rospaonus where we left it, and then I have to take that Singularity to the Doctor so he can decide what to do with it. It'd be nicer if I could just stay with you."

"I have to go to work tomorrow still," Clara said.

"Well, yeah, but… I just missed you a lot."

"So you've said."

"And there's all this stuff happening with Jack… honestly, I'd rather just stay in your bed for a week like we did that time you were still a teacher and it was the holidays."

"That was pretty great… I know, why don't we go away together?" Clara suggested, "Not, like, now, spontaneously, but… you do have a time machine. It gets boring in Hollowmire, you know."

"Even with all the ghosts and the ancient interdimensional alien that lives in the old coal mines and brainwashes people into being nice and baking lots of cupcakes?"

"Yes," she nodded, "Even with that."

"Then I suppose I can't really argue with you – going on holiday is clearly the only thing to do," Jenny smiled, "Wherever you like. I'll be perfectly happy as long as I'm with you. Take tomorrow to think about it."

"You're being serious?" Clara asked incredulously. Jenny frowned.

"Of course I am. It sounds nice, going away with you somewhere. Just what I need."

"That and a hobby," said Clara, sliding over the box of Jenny's onion rings she had yet to start on and picking at them herself absently. Jenny puzzled over that statement while she ate one of her sauce-drenched chicken nuggets.

"What do you mean? I've got you."

"A girlfriend isn't a hobby. I mean, like… you're an adrenaline junkie-"

"I am not!" Jenny protested, and Clara's jaw dropped and she stared at her.

"Get out, you're the biggest adrenaline junkie on the planet, why else would you always pick the dangerous lines of work when you could probably just as easily lay low and work in a shop?"

"I like to help people."

"Did you help a lot of people stealing things for the bourgeoisie?" Clara questioned jokingly.

"I… shut up. What do you mean a hobby?"

"God, I don't know, get into a sport," Clara shrugged. She lifted up a slice of pizza and grew upset when most of the cheese was pulled off accidentally. The cheese was Clara's favourite part of a pizza.

"I'm an acrobat," Jenny said, watching her try and salvage her dinner.

"Yes, and that's very sexy, but… I don't know, do some an extreme sport. Get into freestyle motocross, or snowboarding. Base-jumping. It's got to be safer than stealing cars for the mob. You won't get by in life just doing me for kicks," she said, giving up with the cheese and sliding over the jar of mayonnaise to partially sink to Jenny's level, spreading it on the tomato-covered base and then sort of sticking the cheese back on top. It didn't work very well, but Clara was pleased with herself. While she watched, Jenny thought about Clara's suggestion that she get a hobby, but got distracted by the image Clara had put in her head that involved doing her. "And, um, speaking of stolen mob cars…"

"I've nearly fixed that Porsche, actually. I'll bring it tomorrow. Tomorrow night, right? We'll do something, you think?" she asked hopefully, "I know, we could go on a proper date."

"Try to make it to somewhere you're not wanted by the police," Clara joked as she ate her mayo-pizza hybrid.

"An Italian restaurant."

"Have I ever told you I hate you?"

"I'm getting you a car! I'll get Oswin to fix up the forged insurance papers."

"Oh, wonderful…"

"Maybe you should do a sport for a hobby."

"I don't need a hobby, I've got a girlfriend," she smirked.

"You've got mayonnaise on your face is what you've got." Clara wiped it off.

"I've got a job and I play the piano and make fun of what's on TV with Sally," Clara said, "I'm fine. It's you who gets off on throwing yourself into risky situations."

"My life is a risky situation, I'm the Doctor's daughter."

"Yeah, and he gets off on it as well. It's not like Time Lords were all genetically predisposed to be rebellious, that's just his personality; he did run away and kill them all," Clara said, "I'm wasting my breath, anyway, you like playing the hero too much." Jenny looked away from her food and saw Clara smiling.

"And that's what you love so much about me."

"God, you're so right," Clara said, and the conversation trailed off for a few moments when neither of them had much else to say. The silence didn't bother Jenny, particularly, it was quite a comfortable one, but Clara broke it with a subject change. "Don't you think it's sort of romantic, though?"

"What is?"

"That he waited with an engagement ring for maybe hundreds of years, even when he thought Ianto was dead, and then went off on this crazy quest to find him and win him back?" Clara said, "What if it had taken hundreds of years for anyone to bring me back to life after I died?"

"You being dead for a few hours was bad enough-"

"So think how they feel."

"-And I still didn't propose as soon as you woke up. And not just because you were angry at me. I don't really want to talk about how Jack is capable of being the most romantic man in the world for somebody else but never for me. Besides. I have you. You just bought me a pizza, that's pretty romantic."

"It really isn't," Clara shook her head. Jenny shrugged.

"Well I think so. Urgh, what if he brings Ianto onto the TARDIS?"

"Would Jack really risk putting him in the kind of harm's way that being on the TARDIS entails? And what about your father? I think your father is probably going to throw Jack into the Eye of Harmony the next time he gets his hands on him," Clara said, "In a way it's lucky Other Me is married to him, I'd hate to never have met the Doctor before but be subjected to his scrutiny by dating you. To be honest, Jen, you and Jack has always been a pretty messy situation, right?"

"I just wish I didn't have to see him every day."

"Well, you won't have to, we'll have our holiday!" Clara beamed and elbowed her gently to make her cheer up, "It'll be great. Just the two of us, yeah? In your time machine, so we can stay away for ages, if we want."

"We could even stay away forever."

"Yep. Forever."

"If we want."

"If we want," Clara echoed.

AN: What's crazy is that the FOUR YEAR anniversary of this fic is in 3 days, and literally Omegaverse I wrote A YEAR ago now, so I've literally written less than 170 chapters in the space of an entire year, THAT'S how busy I've been. And I know, I said I was heading towards ending it, and I was, I still am. I haven't actually added any extra days to my initial plan, and it should still come in at my estimated amount of chapters, which was somewhere between 1200-1300 total, I've literally just been that busy. Like, I've finished my A Levels and my first year of university and I'm moving into an actual house in a month and I have a job writing YouTube scripts and I've just been rammed. It's insane. If I'd been writing at the same chapter-a-day rate and hadn't taken so many breaks this fic would have been finished completely in January. I'm eternally grateful to the, like, three people or something who still read this, and still review after some kind of miracle. Honestly I thought this fic would be over long before the last Moffat season started, but now it's nearly finished and I still have kind of a bunch(ish) left. BUT, on that note, I'm switching my plan around again to give myself some respite from the likes of Jenny, the two Claras and Eleven, since this fic has really become as much about Jenny as Jenny Who? is about Jenny at this point, so if you guys have any ideas or suggestions that would specifically lend themselves to the neglected characters then send them my way, more specifically would be the Ponds, Donna and Nine, because I have some good stuff planned for a lot of the others.

On another note, I will write Clara and Jenny's 'holiday' (which will of course go horribly wrong and they'll end up having to thwart something vaguely extraterrestrial), only I'm going to throw the Spooks in as well and put it in Spook Watch, probably as the 4th storyline after I wrap up this Phantom Locomotive thing that's been going for the last 8 pathetic months of my life.