Act II Chapter IX: "More like a funeral."
"Are we all ready for this?" Percy asked as he looked at his fellow demigods. Both Will and Luke nodded. "Okay, we got this. Play on his pride. Don't get smited. Easy."
"It's going to be fine," Luke promised as he gently grabbed both of their shoulders. "If we die here, it's okay. Because failing will be just like dying. We can't fail."
"We won't," Will promised. Luke nodded, and the three walked back toward Dionysus. He was eating chicken wings, sticking a whole piece into his mouth at a time. When he pulled it out, it had been plucked clean, meat and all. The only thing left were the bones.
It was so disgusting. How could Dionysus just eat the cartilage and all that other nasty stuff? Percy stared at him. Will had the same disgusted look. Luke stepped forward to the bar and leaned on it. Dionysus gave him an annoyed look.
"I told you demigods to get lost," Dionysus stated.
"We're over that Camp Half-Blood thing," Luke said with a wave of his hand. Dionysus turned to look at him, and a frown came to his face, which was rather hard to see through all the sauce on his face. "I'm confused by one thing, though: you're supposed to be a god, right?"
Dionysus remained silent. Luke continued, "And, you are the god of partying. Why are you here? This isn't a party. Just a Pac-Man convention."
"This is a party," Dionysus insisted impatiently. The offended look on his face was so funny with the sauce that seemed to disappear into his dimples. "A party for Pac-Man!"
"More like a funeral," Percy commented. Dionysus whipped to him so hard that he almost fell off of his stool. "Where is the music? The party games? We're not playing Pac-Man to celebrate him. We're playing it to give him a final goodbye."
"If you are the god of partying, you would have some real party games here," Will stated. Dionysus slowly looked between the three of them. "Sure, everyone came here for Pac-Man, but a true god of partying would have the people leave here remembering him."
"They all kept talking about you when mentioning your high score," Percy added as he leaned on the counter. He looked at Dionysus. "You know, before you wiped out the machine because I was going to beat your high score."
"You were not," Dionysus hissed as he dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, only smearing the sauce more.
"Guess we'll never know," Will said dramatically. "Well, I know. But do you?"
Dionysus glared and looked between the two of them. Luke spoke up, "I think we should go and have a real party. The gods of parties obviously can't give us any entertainment."
"Stop," Dionysus ordered. "I will not have the three of you disrespect me."
"Then prove you're fun," Percy challenged. Dionysus glared at him. "In fact, we challenge you to have fun."
"Challenge me to have fun?" Dionysus questioned as confused disbelief morphed his face. He looked between the three of them as if trying to decide what to make of them. "I-"
"-accept? Great," Percy quickly cut in.
"I never agreed!" Dionysus snapped.
"Not a fun god of partying," Will commented. Luke sighed and pushed himself off of the bar.
"Maybe the Olympians aren't worth saving," Luke began. Dionysus instantly tensed. The purple in his eyes raged. "Come on guys, let's get out of here."
"Wait!" Dionysus said quickly. There was a hint of desperation on his face before he quickly wiped it away. "I am known as the wine god more than anything, but I do know how to have a party. What is this challenge you spoke of? To have... fun?"
Percy chewed the inside of his lip. Dionysus acted like he didn't want them to be there, but at the same time, he did not want them to leave. Was it just a pride thing? Was there more to it?
Only one way to find out.
"Yeah. To have fun," Percy confirmed. "We could wager. A best of three competitions."
"Hold on," Dionysus said. "How are competitions supposed to be fun? I-"
"-am about to find out," Percy interrupted. The god didn't look too happy to be interrupted once again, but when he didn't speak, Percy forged forward. "We should do three competitions, and the best of three wins. For more fun, we'll add a wager. If you win, we'll be your personal servants.
"We can beat up anyone who tries to beat your high score. Or even rub your feet," Percy continued. Luke scoffed, and Will's eyes bulged. Even Dionysus looked disturbed. "Okay, maybe not that last one. There are other things, though! But if we win, you have to come back to Camp Half-Blood and be the dictator again."
"I think it was director," Luke supplied.
"Right. Director. You have to be the director of the camp again," Percy continued. Dionysus looked the three of them up and down.
"Fine," Dionysus relented. An annoyed look twisted his face as he averted his gaze once again. "What competitions?"
"Well, you can't have a party without beer pong," Luke began.
"Which you are a few months too young for," Dionysus pointed out as he narrowed his eyes. Luke nodded his agreement.
"But, there is something that I found as an alternative," Luke remarked. "Monster."
"Monsters?" Dionysus repeated as his gaze shot around for a monster that could attack them. Luke just smirked.
"The energy drink. Here," Luke said. He walked toward the bartender. "Can I have a Monster, please? The Pac-Man flavored one."
"Of course, dear," the woman replied. She gave Luke a grin as she handed him the drink. Luke paid for it and opened it. He offered the energy drink to Dionysus. The god studied it before slowly grabbing it. When he took a sip, his eyes bulged. Dionysus spat it out.
"What in Zeus' name is that?" Dionysus demanded as he shoved the drink away like it had personally offended him.
"That is what I will drink if you land a ball," Luke answered. "You do know what beer pong is, do you?"
"Of course I do, boy! I invented it," Dionysus spat. He stood and clambered toward an empty table. Dionysus stretched his arm out, and as he did, the empty table became covered in twenty plastic cups. Ten were on each side of the table. Four cups were at the back of the pyramid with a single one at the front.
"I should test this," Luke began.
"You think I'm going to cheat?" Dionysus demanded.
"Yes. How else would you beat me?" Luke asked teasingly. Dionysus glared at him. Luke grabbed one of the plastic cups full of the energy drink. He took a small sip, nodded, and then poured the amount back in using the can that Dionysus had shoved away after trying.
Luke lifted the other cups in front of Dionysus. There was a purple liquid inside. Luke sniffed it and spoke, "No wine."
"No wine?" Dionysus repeated.
"No wine," Luke said once again. "This is beer pong. I would have beer too if I wasn't underage, so I had to find something disgusting. You can't have wine, which you are the god of."
"Fine," Dionysus huffed. He waved his hand angrily, and the cup of purple liquid was replaced with something brown. Luke sniffed it again and nodded. Then, he walked toward the opposite side of the table. "I shall go first, boy."
Luke nodded. Dionysus held out his hand, and a ping pong ball grew in his palm like a grape. He lazily tossed the ball, and it landed in the front cup with ease. Luke took the ping pong ball out and downed the cup of Monster in one shot. He cringed.
"Who knew that cross country trips could be good practice for this?" Percy whispered to Will.
"I hope Luke doesn't have a heart attack," Will returned.
"He'll be fine," Percy assured offhandedly. "I hope."
Luke threw the ball. It landed in the back right cup. Dionysus took out the ball and picked up the cup. He examined the liquid inside with disdain. Then, he took a sip. Dionysus' eyes bulged almost out of his head, and he pulled the cup away from his lips.
Percy used his hand to cover his smile. This was Luke's idea; there was no way to actually beat a god in a drinking contest. Percy wasn't sure that a god could get drunk, so Luke would either die of alcohol poisoning if he drank alcohol or have a heart attack via energy drink before the alcohol did anything to Dionysus.
But, people who drank wine were pretentious. And usually didn't like beer. So, Luke's logic was that Dionysus probably never drank beer and would find it repulsive. And if he didn't drink it, he would lose. Which seemed to be what would happen as Dionysus gagged on the beer.
"Gods above! What is this?" Dionysus spat in disgust. "It tastes like the heart of a filth-wallowing peasant!"
"H...how do you know that?" Will asked. Dionysus sneered at him. Then, the god took another sip. His face contorted in disgust.
"You have to drink it," Luke affirmed. Dionysus eyed the cup. Then, he downed it in one gulp. His hand instantly shot to his mouth, and he looked ready to spit it back up. "I know why mortals prefer beer. Grapes taste disgusting anyway."
Dionysus glared venomously, but finished his cup. He tossed the ping pong ball again with a laziness that didn't affect the throw. Luke downed his energy drink but cringed as he did. He shook himself off and made another shot.
It went back and forth for about five more shots. Dionysus looked mortified anytime he brought the beer near his lips, and Luke was almost twitching from all of the energy drinks he had. When Luke sank his seventh shot, Dionysus sighed deeply. The god picked up his cup and started to drink.
"It's kind of funny, all that beer you'll have when you lose this," Luke joked. Percy saw Dionysus stiffen. "No more wine for you. Just nasty old Diet Coke."
"Lupa is going to be excited to see you," Will chimed in with practiced enthusiasm. Dionysus choked on his beer and lowered the cup, spitting out some of the drink. Percy grimaced as he watched.
"You'll have to refill your cup and drink again," Luke reprimanded.
"No," Dionysus declined. He shook his head and wiped his mouth.
"You'll lose if you don't," Luke warned. "And with it being best of three..."
"I'll win the next two," Dionysus decided. He poured the plastic cup upside down. A small smile graced his face as if it was a victory to rid himself of the foul drink. The god slowly looked at them.
"Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt," a worker said as she looked at them. Her gaze moved down to the table for a moment as confusion touched her features. Then, she smiled at them. "I have some shirts and hoodies to give away. Can I get some sizes?"
"Large," Will and Percy answered at the same time. Dionysus grunted like the woman was bothering them just because she was doing her job.
"I'll take a large as well. A hoodie if you have one," Luke said. The worker smiled at them and grabbed three large hoodies from the mountain of clothes that clung to her other arm. She handed the hoodies off to them. "Thank you."
"It's my pleasure," the worker said. She looked at Dionysus. "Sir."
"We could have matching hoodies," Percy began. Dionysus sneered at him.
"Watch yourself, Peter Johnson," Dionysus warned.
"Yeah. I'm not going to do that," Percy dismissed. "Besides, you and I are going to do a Pac-Man competition. We'll play side by side, and whoever dies first, in the game, loses."
Dionysus laughed. "Boy, I was playing Pac-Man before you were born."
"Which is going to make it really embarrassing when you lose," Percy shot back without hesitation. "And if you somehow win, Will is going to kick your butt in a dance competition."
"A what?" Will whispered to him, fear infecting his tone. Percy just grinned at him.
"Your challenge is accepted," Dionysus stated. Will looked in between Percy and Luke.
"I don't know how to dance," Will whispered frantically. "I can barely square dance, and I'm from Texas!"
"Chiron is ninety percent sure that you're a child of Apollo. You have to hold some rhythm in your bones," Luke said softly.
"It won't come to that," Percy promised. "I'm going to beat Dionysus. I think."