Neo Octopia

Jenny

"Oh, wow… Yeah… That's great... Really hits the spot... Mmm…"

"Do you always make so many noises when you eat?" Oswin questioned her disdainfully. Jenny glared and bit into another takoyaki ball. "You don't think the yakuza might come after us since you took him up on his fish recommendation?"

"It's not fish, it's octopus."

"It comes from the sea, it's a fish," Oswin muttered. She was not in a good mood. Maybe it was the weather, Jenny mused; it had taken a sudden turn for the worse since they'd left Nobukane Tanabe's penthouse, and it was now pouring rain. They sat outside a modest takoyaki stand underneath an umbrella, trying to avoid getting wet. Steam rose up from Jenny's food and the stand, which was operated by a real human and not automated machines; it was a nice change of pace. "I don't understand how you eat so much. You literally never stop eating."

"I need the energy," she mumbled with her mouth full.

"Didn't understand a word of that." Jenny glared at her. Sprite was hanging around on Oswin's back. They hadn't taken the taxi Nobukane had called to straight to get something to eat, Jenny had had it deliver them nearby her spaceship. After that she'd persuaded Oswin to hack into the mainframe of the nearest hospital and check that Oni hadn't died (he hadn't), and then she'd played a sly trick on a car dealership to get him a new levitator, feeling bad about both mortally wounding him and destroying his ride. She'd snuck into the hospital and left him the keys with an apologetic note. Now, the flying saucer was cloaked nearby, the red meteorite safely on board so that Jenny could destroy it later; though she still hadn't gotten around to destroying the stash of heroin she'd acquired from Viola.

She nudged Oswin's leg gently underneath the table with her foot, the leg that actually had feeling in it, but not hard enough to cause any additional pain.

"What?"

"You okay?" Jenny asked sincerely. Oswin crossed her arms and slouched against the table.

"I'm thinking."

"What about?"

"How glad I am that Clara's your girlfriend and not me."

"What makes you think I'd even want you to be my girlfriend?"

"Everything you say and do. Really, though. Must be stressful for her." Jenny had bandages around her left hand now, but it was really just scratched; it wouldn't take more than a few days to heal fully and wasn't hurting her especially. Unlike the dull ache constantly present in her bad thumb.

"Yeah, well. That's why I'm moving. I don't…" She paused, thinking of the words to say, Oswin watching her expectantly. "Okay, I do enjoy it. The chaos and the thrill and the fun, but… it's different now. It's different now I care what happens to me a lot more than I used to. And I hate the way she looks at me when I come back and have another wound."

"What way's that?"

"Similar to the way people look at injured, stray dogs. She doesn't get angry, just sad…" She pushed a takoyaki ball around her paper tray with a chopstick, sighing. "That's what hurts the most, y'know? That is why I'm going to the village, so she doesn't worry about me so much. I'm choosing to be there for her."

"Big commitment."

Jenny smiled, "Nah. Besides, she needs me around more. She can get depressed these days…"

"That sort of thing happens when you die and have to leave your entire life behind to go live in the middle of nowhere."

"Maybe I should've asked if she wanted to move to Tokyo." Oswin laughed slightly. "I think I'll take her some takoyaki. Calamari is her favourite, after all, but I don't think she'll have ever had authentic takoyaki."

"I'm certainly glad I've never had it, authentic or otherwise," Oswin said, turning up her nose up at Jenny's food.

"I don't know why you keep bringing this up, anyway."

"My distaste for seafood?"

"No, us."

"'Us'?"

"Don't get coy now. You know what I mean. And you know it wouldn't work." Oswin raised an eyebrow.

"You know, we've never talked about this."

"Maybe we should. After all, we're the only two who actually know nothing's going on between us. Some of the others are so suspicious…"

"Uh-huh. Well, you're right. It wouldn't work. We're too similar. We're both broody and guilt-ridden. And we'd never get out of bed."

Jenny grinned, "D'you think?"

"I do think. But…"

"What?" Jenny entreated, taking another bite.

"I'm still gonna miss you when you leave."

"Oh… yeah. Well. So's dad. You can come visit! Come to the village! After all, it's where Esther is, and I know you have a thing for Esther as well as for me," she jibed. "Esther likes you when you manage to stop flirting with her."

"I know that," Oswin said defensively, "I talk to her. Check she's not accidentally seducing my boyfriend too much – though I'd be fully supportive."

"She's asexual."

"But in a parallel world, I'm sure they're together. That's the beauty of the multiverse, Jenny-chan-" Jenny grimaced again at the honorific, "-everything's true somewhere. We're probably a couple, you know, out there. Maybe there's even, I don't know, another female Doctor? You could have two mums. Wouldn't that be great?"

"I guess it'd be cool, but I've got enough trouble with the Doctors in this universe, let alone dragging others into it. Besides, for every alternate Doctor there's an alternate Jenny."

"Maybe you should go meet an alternate Jenny."

"What would I do that for?"

"Sleep with her?" Jenny kicked her in the prosthetic. "I wish people wouldn't keep doing that! It's a very delicate piece of machinery!"

"Stop being obnoxious then!" Jenny snapped.

"But everyone loves how obnoxious I am!"

"They don't."

"It's my entire appeal!"

"It's not."

"You wouldn't like me as much if I was more polite."

"No, I'd like you more."

"Ha, ha," Oswin smiled at her. The rain increased, leading Jenny to hunch her shoulders and lean across the table even further. It was getting chilly, too; she didn't remember the date, or the season. No doubt it was one of those awkward months where it could be boiling hot one minute and freezing cold the next. The damp humidity from the rain was making her hair bother her, too, and she didn't have a hairbrush.

"Would you really sleep with Clara?"

"Eurgh, absolutely not. Not in a million years."

"Then why make so many jokes about it?"

"Duh, because they're funny."

"They're gross, and they make people uncomfortable."

"Yeah. In a funny way. That's comedy for you."

"You're certainly not a comedian." Before Oswin could defend her, quite frankly, hideous sense of humour, Jenny's phone buzzed with a text alert. Half a dozen times she had tried to call River Song, and none of the times she had been answered. But now she got a text – not a phone call, a text – explaining to her exactly why River had betrayed her.

And it was even less than a text, it was just a photograph. A photograph of a battered, blue, leather-bound book, which oddly resembled the TARDIS. She was perplexed – what kind of an explanation was that?

"You're cute when you frown," Oswin remarked. Jenny ignored her, confused. "C'mon, what is it. Sharing is caring."

"Do you know what this means?" she held up her phone screen to Oswin.

"Sure, that's her diary," Oswin said, "Has her record of her time with the Doctor in it."

"Oh…"

"Why?"

"Maybe… well, I suppose, Pasz must have gotten his hands on it. He must have used it to convince her to give me up… but how did you know?"

"Erm, the TARDIS has a library and is full of useful information? You think I wouldn't read up on River Song? My enigmatic rival-hologram from the same century? Unfortunately, most of the entries about her say 'refer to diary.' That's the diary." The entirety of River and the Doctor's relationship, written down? Outside of its clearly enormous sentimental value for River, Jenny could see how Pasznoxo reading it was dire. Could she blame River for selling her out with something like that at stake?

"Still," she muttered, putting her phone away, "Could've warned me Pasz might call. She knows I'm trying to stay out of trouble."

"She probably just got distracted, and you've been away. Maybe she wanted to tell you in person. There's a lot of stuff going on right now – mainly this ridiculous wedding we're all supposed to care so much about."

"I still haven't made the cake for that," Jenny sighed. That was tomorrow's job. When was she going to get a chance to see Clara? Hopefully before the wedding itself.

"Can I ask you something?"

Jenny paused, "…Is it something creepy?"

"No," said Oswin. She seemed serious, for once. "Have you met Clara's dad? Ravenwood's dad?"

"Uh…" Jenny did not know whether to tell the truth. She had met Clara's dad, because Clara had decided to announce to her father that she wasn't dead about the same time Jenny had decided to give her father a piece of her mind about being abandoned. But she had done that without the prior 'permission' of any other Time Lord, taking all the authority upon herself.

"I can tell by your hesitation that you have."

"…Right… yeah. Yeah, I have met him. Pretended to be working for the government, made him think she had to fake her death and went into witness protection."

"Do you think it's weird that Adam won't let me meet his parents? And that he keeps refusing to meet my dad?"

"I told you, I'll meet your-"

"Not the point!" Oswin cut her off. She seemed to be genuinely worried about this.

"Well, why won't he let you meet them?"

"Because he doesn't like them, after they took off on a cruise and left Ellie home alone so now he's got sole custody of her," Oswin explained, "It's less that, it's more my dad. I mean, I keep telling him my dad would love him, he'd think he's great, but Adam's just terrified. He's scared of my brother, too. Fyn. You remember Fyn?"

"He's the really hot one, right?"

"Oh, for – yes, whatever, maybe some people might think that about him, though I think that's gross, personally. Fyn likes Adam though. He thinks he's cute."

"He is a bit cute," said Jenny, "In a weird way."

"A 'weird way'?"

"Yeah. You know what I mean."

"Not really. I think he's gorgeous."

Jenny laughed, amused, "Do you really?" but Oswin just glared at her and she became very awkward. She coughed and changed her tone, "Yeah, I mean, sure, why wouldn't you?" She looked down at the remnants of her takoyaki, watching the rain spatter the puddles at their feet. Oswin shook her head.

"I'll pretend you didn't say that."

"That would be preferable."

"Really, though. Do you think it's weird…?"

"No. Hasn't it only been a few months? Let him go at his own pace. I wouldn't worry. Besides, he has met Clara, and Clara did create you. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Hmm. Maybe. Hadn't thought of it like that."

"She certainly sees you as a daughter, that's blatantly obvious."

"What gave it away?" Oswin asked sarcastically, "The fact she literally refers to me as her daughter sometimes?"

"Well… I'm not one to judge."

"Except when you judge the attractiveness of my boyfriend."

"I said I was sorry!"

"You didn't, actually."

"Oh. I'm sorry. He's cute in a non-weird way."

"Great. I feel so validated."

"Is your dad hot?"

"Is my dad what?"

"Hot," Jenny repeated, nonplussed.

"Yeah, again, giving you the opportunity to change what you said: is my dad what!?"

"Is he hot. H-O-T. Hot. Attractive. Tasty."

"Tasty?"

"Is he?"

"Is he!?"

"Is there an echo out here?" Oswin was not happy. "Sorry, have I crossed a line? Didn't you call my mother, quote-unquote, 'bangable', two weeks ago? Did you not say you 'hate swimming' but wouldn't say no to 'diving in that mu-'"

"Shush!"

"Didn't realise you were such a grotesque hypocrite."

"Blah, blah, blah. You definitely can't meet him now. Not in a million years."

"I can wait a million years."

"What's this? Giving me a taste of my own medicine?"

"Maybe a little."

"Well. As long as I don't have to taste that disgusting octopus, I can't say I'm bothered."

"Did you not have any fun today at all, then?" Jenny inquired wryly after a pause. She'd run out of food and was just biding her time before she could go get some more and deliver it unto Clara. Maybe she'd stop by quickly that night, just for an hour or two, until she had to really start working on that wedding cake…

"I much prefer staying on the TARDIS. Running ops, like you promised me I would be this morning."

"Well, Os-chan, in future, you can run all my ops."

"Til death do us part. Or, more fittingly, until death does you part. Because you're an idiot who just walks right into danger."

"That's part of my charm, though."

"I've never found ultraviolence particularly charming, personally."

"Each to their own. Now… I'm just gonna get some more food… you know, for the road… and to take to Clara," she slid off her stool and into the rain.

"As an apology?" Oswin asked.

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission!" Jenny called back through the haze of the poor weather, hunching her shoulders as she approached the takoyaki vendor. Still, there was always the slight worry that Clara might get tired of her someday, or that she wouldn't even welcome Jenny's impromptu dinner-dates where she brought whatever food she happened to stumble across that day.

Again, her phone went, but it wasn't River Song this time, it was the very woman who was on her mind: Clara Ravenwood.

Do u fancy grabbing dinner 2nite?

Smiling, waiting for her latest batch of diced, battered octopus, Jenny replied: Always. I'll be right over.

AN: And TRAGICALLY, I have to go on hiatus again! But, never fear, because I'm halfway through the next "Retrograde" arc (as you all know, I write the entire arcs in advance before I upload them, and they're much longer than the standard fic arcs), and seeing as last year I did a special Christmas chapter over in Spook Watch/Spooky Hollow but no Halloween chapter, this year's the opposite and there will be a special Halloween chapter which will centre around the vampires in the future and, despite it arguably fitting better in Spooky Hollow, I will upload it here.