-Epilogue-

Generated Anomalies

One Month Later…

Jenny was partway through some intricate piping work on a celebration cake that was due for collection the following morning. She wasn't entirely sure what the celebration was, but she had a list of very specific and unusual instructions – along with an indecipherable sketch – telling her the exact specifications the cake had to be. The design she was piping looked a little bit like a giant eye surrounded by tentacles.

She wasn't sure she had perfected the exact shade of green they wanted though, so was in the middle of debating whether she should whip up a fresh batch of icing and change the amounts of food colouring she was using, when she heard the bell tinkling in the front of the shop. Maggie was out because they needed more milk and flour, so Jenny was the only person there to manage things. Piping bag in one hand, she still didn't know whether she thought the colour was right. The customer rang the bell on the counter.

"Just a second," Jenny called. Ultimately, she was forced to set the bag down and hope the icing didn't coagulate too much before she had the chance to make up her mind. "Sorry for the wait, Maggie's out, it's only…" She stopped when she saw who the customer was, glad she'd left the icing in the back because she probably would have dropped it. It was the Tenth Doctor. Jenny tried not to grimace too much. "What do you want?"

"It's me," he said.

"Yes, I know who you are."

"No, it's – I'm the other one. The metacrisis."

Immediately, she softened, "Oh. Sorry, um… I thought you were… I don't like talking to him. But what are you doing here? How did you know where I was?"

"Rose told me."

"Rose? But she threw you out months ago."

"Yes, and then I was in Vietnam for a while, fishing," he said, "Then Donna found me and let me stay with her in London. Rose came to see me on her wedding day."

"That sounds dramatic…"

"She told me where Hollowmire is. Do you know this village isn't on any maps? It's not easy to find. I had to walk here."

"You walked here? From London?"

"I like walking," he said. He certainly looked dishevelled; unshaven and decidedly without the 'real' Ten's trademark, pinstriped suit. It was a wonder she had got them mixed up at all when she stopped to think about it. "How's your hand? I heard you broke your thumb."

"Martha let me take the cast off last week," said Jenny, holding up her grisly hand to show him. The jagged scar still cut along the second joint where her thumb had been ripped from its hinges. "It's fine. I'm ambidextrous. I am meant to be working, though; do you want to buy anything? Do you have any money?"

"Donna gave me some money," he said. "What did you make?" he indicated the baked goods behind the glass of the front counter.

"All the cookies."

"Then I'll have a cookie of every flavour," he told her. She smiled and took out four of the large cookies, putting them in a paper bag. She was alarmed when he handed her a fifty-pound note in return (courtesy of Donna's lottery winnings, she was sure.)

"I don't think we have change for that," she said.

"Keep the change. Always wanted to say that."

"…If you're sure… you don't want anything else?"

"I want us to have lunch," he said.

"I'm… I'm at work," she said, "And it's almost two."

"When do you finish?"

"We close at five, but I won't be out until seven because I need to clean," she explained, "And I have this cake to do. It's for… Comet Day," she finally remembered the occasion the cake was for; it was commemorating the date Oc'thubha crashed to Earth in a meteor and created Crater Lake. "Although… hold on a moment…" She disappeared into the back again to retrieve both the page of instructions and the bag of green icing to show him. "Do you think this is the right shade of green? I can't work it out."

"How close does it have to be?" he asked.

"The Followers are very particular about baked goods," she explained.

"The what?"

"The Followers of Oc'thubha. The cult who run the village."

"The cult!?" he exclaimed.

"Not in a bad way, it's – I can explain later."

"You've joined a cult?"

"No, the brainwashing doesn't work on everyone – why don't you go find Clara and see if she's free to talk? She never has any customers."

"Where is she?"

"In the spooky bookshop. You cross the road and go down that way," she pointed, "Until you get to the corner, it's right there." But he was not too excited about the prospect of talking to Clara Ravenwood, so Jenny assumed he'd been told she was a vampire.

"Is it just you who works here?"

"No, Maggie's the owner, but she's out buying milk," said Jenny. Right when she said that she heard the kitchen door open behind her. "That'll be her now, actually."

"How are you doing with the piping?" Maggie called.

"Just… wait there a moment," Jenny told Tentoo before dipping into the back once more to see Maggie bringing in her ingredients. "Is this green right?"

"It looks fine to me," Maggie smiled.

"Okay…" said Jenny, thinking.

"Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I, um… it's just… my father is here. Sort of. Just showed up."

"Oh, he's back?"

"Not that father," she said. Maggie meant Eleven, who had been in there once or twice a week since the wedding. "I have more than one. It's complicated. I haven't seen him for a while."

"Do you want to take the rest of the day off?"

"What?" Jenny was surprised, "No, it's fine, I need to finish this cake."

"Jenny, Comet Day is a time for families, so we can all bask in the glow of the Great Oc'thubha together. I know you don't believe-"

"I'm not sure what there is not to believe in, I've met Oc'thubha, he lives under the pub," said Jenny.

"If your father is here, that's a sign from the Great One. I'll finish the Comet Day cake."

"…Alright. But call me right away if you need me to do anything."

"Will you be joining the village at the roller rink tomorrow for the annual disco?"

"I'll have to see what Clara thinks," said Jenny, who didn't really want to go to Hollowmire's annual, Comet Day roller-skating spectacular (even if she was especially gifted at roller-skating.) "Also, he bought some biscuits and paid with a fifty-pound note, that's why that's in the till." She untied her apron, covered in green food colouring, and hung it up on the back of the door while taking down her jacket.

"I hope you have a nice afternoon," Maggie smiled, "Blessed are the Flock of the Great Glowing One."

"Blessed are the… thingy, to you too," said Jenny awkwardly, pushing through the small, swing door on the counter because she had been told off before for vaulting over it. Tentoo followed her out of the bakery as she pulled her jacket back on (the weather was foul, it had been sleeting).

"Where are we going?" Tentoo asked.

"Café next door," she said. And she meant next door; no sooner had she left the bakery than she was cutting into the café most of the village frequented, as well as being a usual haunt of Sally Sparrow and Esther Drummond – though, they weren't among the customers that afternoon.

"Hi, Jenny," said the only server, "How are those girlfriends of yours?"

"I only have one, Freddy," she reminded him, "I'm not going out with the other two."

"We're very accepting here in Hollowmire," he said.

"Doesn't change the truth," she smiled as she sat down by the window in what had quickly become her 'usual spot' when she came to the café on her lunch break most days.

"I'll be with you soon," Freddy said as he returned to the kitchen.

"'Girlfriends'?" asked Tentoo as he sat opposite her, setting down an enormous and filthy rucksack she hadn't realised he'd had on his back. When she was closer she realised he smelt a little funky, too – and he'd walked there? She was concerned about how long it had been since he had a wash.

"He means Sally and Esther, everyone thinks we're in a four-way, polyamorous squash."

"And you're not?"

"No, Sally's straight and Esther's asexual," said Jenny, "You haven't met Esther, have you?"

"I haven't met Sally, either. Well, not me me, the other me has, and I have those memories," he said.

"They live together, in the village. Clara lives in this old cottage up on the moors, away from things," said Jenny, "We're friends. We all have takeaway together on Saturdays."

"Sounds… homely," he said.

"Well, then?" Jenny prompted, "Why are you here?"

"To see you, obviously."

"Oh? I don't remember you paying me much notice when we were on the TARDIS together."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was preoccupied – I thought my marriage was crumbling. And then, you know, it did crumble… and you were with Jack, weren't you?"

"I suppose. What do you want to eat?"

"Whatever you're having."

"If you can keep up," she joked. Freddy was right about being there soon; he reappeared momentarily to ask what they wanted to eat, and Jenny found herself asking for a Full English with double the amount of meat. True to his word, Tentoo asked for the same thing. "Don't you have a human metabolism these days?"

"I do a lot of exercise," he said, "And I haven't had a lot to eat since I left London."

"I once had a dog called Freddy," she said absently as the server left.

"When?"

"When I lived in Berlin."

"You lived in Berlin?"

She paused and looked at him, thinking again. "I forgot you don't actually know anything about me. Not a single thing. Do you know how old I am?"

"Two-hundred and eight. But only because Donna told me. I'm sorry."

"It's… it's fine. It's different, you're not… I suppose you never had the option to come back to Messaline."

"I was locked away in a parallel universe the day I was born. We only met six months ago," he reminded her. And what a long six months it felt like – an entire age, she sometimes thought. "So, you're right. I've never had the option, and I couldn't get back onto the TARDIS. Your boss said something about your 'other father'?"

"Oh. She means the Eleventh Doctor. He's around a lot."

"Is he?"

"He made the effort. The other two didn't. And he's a lot less weird about the stuff with Clara than you'd think," she said. It began to rain. Again, he went strangely silent when she mentioned Clara. She sighed. "Are you going to be weird about it?"

"I heard she's a vampire," he said quietly.

"She's never hurt anyone. Oswin's working on a way to synthesise cloned blood," Jenny explained, "At the moment, she drinks donated blood, in a flask. Speaking of drinks…" Freddy returned with a pot of tea and some mugs, setting them down on the table. Sugar and little cartons of UHT milk were already there on the table in a small, stainless steel basket and a ceramic bowl.

"And she works in a bookshop?"

"She should be just starting; she works from two until ten at night."

"Strange hours for a shop."

"It's a strange village," she said as she poured herself a cup of tea. "Did you say you went to Vietnam?"

"That's where Rose sent me when she threw me off the ship," he explained, "It's a lucky thing I can assimilate languages. Any language somebody talks to me, I can talk it back right away. No need for a translation matrix." Jenny stared at him.

"I can do that, too," she said.

"Careful," he took the teapot from her. She had overfilled the mug and tea had gone all over the table. She picked up a napkin and dabbed at the mess. "But… you are happy with Clara, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's just, I remember thinking that you and Jack was only to spite me – or the other, 'real' Doctors."

"Oh. Clara and I was sort of to spite them, too. Hers and mine. But, no, we just… fell in love. I am happy with her. She's all that really makes me happy..." She got an idea. "You should come for dinner! Meet her properly. I'll cook."

"I didn't know you could cook."

"I learnt in Venice," she said, "I'm very good."

"So am I," he countered, smiling.

"Do you want to cook, then?" she offered, "You can if you want. But I always cook at Clara's."

"It depends. Does Clara like seafood?"

"Seafood is her favourite," said Jenny. "No garlic, though, obviously. But what else are you here for? Surely not just to talk to me? Didn't you like staying with Donna?"

"I left when she did, she's gone back to the TARDIS now," Tentoo sighed, "Their honeymoon is over."

"Oh, right."

"I was thinking of… I don't know. Doing something. Something good. Finding a job, maybe."

"Do you have anywhere to stay?"

"I've got my tent, don't worry."

"Doctor… you don't have to live in a tent, that's… you can stay on my ship."

"Your ship?"

"It's not the TARDIS by any means, but it's big enough. Size of a small flat. It's theoretically where I'm living at the moment, though in practice I'm usually elsewhere. Clara has a spare room, but I don't think she'd like if I offer it to you. Sally and Esther have a spare room, as well, though," she said, "Oh, but I think it's full of rubbish… You can definitely stay on the ship if you want. As long as you don't fly it anywhere."

"You'd really let me?"

"Of course I would! We should stick up for each other, you and me. We're both generated anomalies. And it would be nice to have a father figure I don't resent and who isn't married to a parallel-universe version of my girlfriend," said Jenny. "And you'll like it here in the village, it's very weird."

Freddy came out of the kitchen struggling to balance two very large plates absolutely drowning in food; Jenny felt her stomach rumble.

"Weird how?" asked Tentoo once Freddy had left and Jenny rammed an entire rasher of bacon into her mouth at once. It took her a while to chew enough to answer him.

"Well, there's the cult," she said, "They worship Oc'thubha – he's this extra-dimensional god-thing that lives underneath the mines. Really likes baking and roller disco. You can meet him, if you want. They're a cult, but they're nice, and they bring the people who can't be converted biscuits."

"And who can't be converted?"

"People who aren't susceptible to the psychic rays," she said knowingly, "Anyone with something weird going on. None of the four of us are affected, and I'm sure you wouldn't be either. There was this thing with a ghost train, too."

"A ghost train?"

"It was an overnight train going to Scotland, mysteriously disappeared in the 1800s. Turns out, it got zapped into a pocket universe," said Jenny, "You'll have to ask Sally, she tells it best. I wasn't actually there."

"It does sound like an interesting place… and you really don't mind about your ship?"

"No, it's fine. And it'll be nice to have you here."

"I was thinking about trying to get a dog."

"Do that!" Jenny beamed as she cut open the yolk of one of the runny, fried eggs, "I'd love a dog, but Clara's not great with animals anymore. They run away from her instinctively. And babies cry when she's around."

"You won't be having kids, then?" he asked. Jenny coughed on her food. "I'm sorry, that wasn't-"

"It's fine," she said when she managed to swallow, "I hate to point out to you that we're both women, though."

"You could always grow one in a machine."

She laughed, "That's true. It's only been a few months, though – but, she has said she wants us to get married. Not that we're engaged, we're not engaged, but…"

"If you do get married, I'd like to be there."

"If you come to dinner and meet her properly, without any anti-vampire prejudice."

"I've just never met a vampire who wasn't a monster."

"Well, we'll change that. And I… I really am glad you're here, and I hope you do stay in the village. I think it'll be nice."

"Me too. And I think I can eat this faster than you."

"Is that a bet?" He nodded. "You're on."