Chapter XII: Of stitchings and seams, part one
Soft light of the sun illuminated the beige walls of a rather spacious bedroom, seeping inside through the cracked open window shutters. Yang was lying on her back, awake but unmoving, basking in the warmth of the morning glow while Blake slept happily by her side, using her shoulder as a pillow. With her fingers absentmindedly scratching behind one of the slumbering girl's cat ears, Yang pondered idly on various matters, taking her time to brace herself for what the second day with Belladonnas would have in store for her.
Despite her worries, the previous day had gone by just fine. Although her heart had been beating like crazy back when she had crossed the threshold of the Belladonnas' temporary residence, it quickly had turned out that she needed not to worry — Kali was a most accommodating hostess, not to mention being pure joy to talk to. Thankfully, Kali picked up on Yang's nervousness right away and had done what she could to get the poor girl to relax, even cracking a few jokes at her daughter's expense; Kali's outgoing, somewhat mischievous disposition resonated well with Yang, before long making her mostly forget about her earlier fears and reservations. Ghira, while not as openly friendly as his wife, was rather welcoming as well; for some reason, he appeared to have quite a lot of respect for Yang — she could see it in his eyes and general demeanor — though what she had done to earn it, she did not know.
In the end, she had spent the prior day talking and enjoying the deliciousfood Kali had prepared for the occasion, and the nightfall had arrived before she'd realized it; still, as pleasant as the events of the previous day had been, they had left her completely, utterly exhausted mentally, and she was really, really not sure if she was ready for round two just yet.
She glanced at the face of the electronic alarm clock judging her from the nearby nightstand and let out a soft sigh, realizing that she had spent the last twenty minutes or so just staring at the ceiling and procrastinating. Seeing that it was already well past ten in the morning and that staying in bed any longer would probably just result in her working herself up for no good reason, Yang began the arduous task of untangling herself from Blake — preferably without waking the girl up. It took her a while, but, eventually, she managed to free herself from Blake's hold, with the regained ability to feel her shoulder being the reward for her efforts.
She watched Blake for a while, wondering whether she'd stir; when Blake just continued to contently nuzzle the pillow that had been put in place of her girlfriend's shoulder, Yang just cooed softly and stepped away from the bed, swiping her hairband from the bed table and tying her hair in a few quick, well-practiced motions. Still in her sleepwear, she approached the door to the common room, only to stop in her tracks in the very last moment, suddenly remembering something; feeling her face heat up, she spun on her heel and briskly walked to the wardrobe, then opened it and began to dress up, shuddering at the thought of walking out nearly bare-assed in front of Blake's parent.
Once she made herself decent, Yang gingerly turned the doorknob and — taking a long, deep breath — stepped into the other room. She was greeted with the sight of Kali hustling about the cooking area, with the enticing smell of a meal in the making hanging in the air. The moment Yang set her foot in the room, one of Kali's ears swiveled in her direction, with the woman's head following suit soon after; as Blake's mother noticed Yang, she welcomed her with a warm smile.
"Oh, good morning, Yang."
"Mornin', miss Belladonna."
Hearing Yang's response, the so-called 'miss Belladonna' rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Yang, sweetie, we've been over this yesterday. I don't expect you to call me 'mom' just yet, but you really should get used to calling Ghira and I by our names," she said, a faint hint of laughter echoing in her voice.
Thrown a bit off guard by Kali's playful remark, Yang glanced to the side, rubbing her neck with a sheepish laugh. "Alright, alright. I'll try." She stepped closer, taking a better look at what Kali was doing; a chef's knife glinted in Kali's grasp as she diced a slab of meat in well-rehearsed motions, while something was boiling in the nearby pot. After a while of watching the situation in silence, Yang regained most of her composure and chose to speak up. "So, Kali... would you like me to lend you a hand with that?" Yang asked with a smirk, gesturing with her bionic hand towards the meat.
Her words gave Kali a pause, prompting the woman to look at her quizzically — much to her amusement. Seeing that Yang's grin only grew in size with each passing moment, Kali quickly figured that it had indeed been an intentional pun and just chuckled under her breath, a tiny little smirk visible in the corners of her mouth.
"Yes, thank you," Kali said, laying down her knife beside the cutting board and stepping away as to make some room for Yang. "I'm glad to see that you don't let your situation bother you."
"The arm, you mean?" Yang asked. "Eh, 'bother' is a big word, but I guess you're right. Took some getting used to, and a bit of soul-searching, but I think I'm fine now. Not, like, happy about how the things have panned out, but at the very least I've gotten okay enough with it to make some off-hand jokes 'bout it every now and then."
Kali laughed lightly, brushing her hand against Yang's arm as she passed her by as she went to check up on the contents of the boiling pot. While Yang washed her hands and started slicing a rather thick chop of meat into inch-wide stripes, Kali proceeded to pull out a bag of potatoes from the cupboard and placed said bag near a sink.
"Is Blake awake, by any chance?" Kali asked, fishing out a potato peeler from one of the drawers and promptly getting to work.
Done with preparing the stripes, Yang promptly chopped them into smaller bits, shoving the ready pieces off to the side with her knife. "Nope. Wasn't the last time I checked, anyway."
Once she finished dicing her first chop, Yang took a moment to look around the place. For the duration of their stay in Vale, the City Council had offered Belladonnas a rather fancy penthouse atop one of the tallest buildings in the city, with an amazing view of the whole Vale from the spacious balcony. Within the apartment itself were two bedrooms — each with its own bathroom — and a large, brightly lit open space serving as a kitchen, dining room, living room and everything in-between. Although Yang spotted a large plate with a few leftover sandwiches resting atop the dining table, the room was empty save for the two women bustling around the kitchen area.
"Has miste... err, I mean, has Ghira left already?" Yang questioned.
Kali let out a small sigh, nodding. "Yes, he's left about an hour ago. Starting with the Council, he'll be going from one meeting to another till late in the afternoon, I'm afraid."
"Damn," Yang breathed out, both impressed and feeling sorry for Ghira. "It must be tough, being both the chieftain of Menagerie and the chairman for the union."
"It is. Still, someone has to do this, to strike the iron while its still hot. And in my admittedly biased opinion, Ghira is the best person for the job." Miss Belladonna chuckled softly, glancing at Yang with a smirk dancing on her lips. "Besides, he's enjoying himself. Sure, he's busier than ever, but at the long last things are going in the cause's favor. It feels good, to see the effects of years of your hard work finally come to fruition."
"Heh. You can say that again."
The conversation between them never died down for long as they continued to cook, with the two talking leisurely about various matters, getting to know one another and exchanging stories. Kali was more than happy to share a few anecdotes from Blake's childhood, or from the times when she herself had met Ghira, back in the days when White Fang had been a young organization and all members stood by their initial, noble ideals. Yang repaid her in kind, telling Kali stories of her childhood with Ruby, as well as of her team's spoils at Beacon, leaving the darker stuff out of her tale, so as not to mare the pleasant morning.
Before they'd realized it, the meat, seasoned and pre-fried, was already stewing in the happily bubbling pot, while the pealed potatoes waited patiently for the right time to be put on a burner.
With their work finished, Kali brewed some tea. While she was pouring herself a cup, her cat ears twitched slightly and she turned her head a bit, as if she had heard something; after a brief moment, seemingly assuming that it was nothing, she lost her interest in the imaginary sound and simply started filling another cup with the steaming amber liquid.
"Yang... can I ask you something personal?"
Blake stirred, her consciousness called unto the waking world by the vague feeling that something was amiss. She felt… cold, or rather colder, as if someone had taken away the source of the comforting warmth that had lulled her to sleep, leaving her yearning for the heat from before. As her senses and general awareness began to come around, she realized that her head was resting on a simple pillow, while the object in her arms was no longer as pleasantly firm as she remembered it to be. Upon opening her eyes, the last shadow of doubt was gone — she was lying alone in bed, hugging a pillow, with Yang nowhere in sight; even her warmth had already mostly disappeared. Letting out a small groan of disappointment, Blake grumpily flopped over onto her back, deciding not to get out of the bed just yet.
She could hear Yang's voice through the door, talking with her mom. Blake tried to listen, but their words simply went in one ear and out the other, reduced to a mere background noise in her not-yet-awakened mind. After a couple of minutes, the conversation seemed to have died down for a while, and Blake, finding the silence slightly unnerving, stifled one last yawn and finally got up, with the mattress croaking beneath her in protest. She took a few lazy steps towards the door, only to slow down when she heard her mother speak up.
"Yang... can I ask you something personal?"
Blake froze in place, her hand hovering mere inches away from the doorknob. Something about her mom's voice caused her to tense a bit — it sounded almost like Kali was uncomfortable, or perhaps hesitant, as if she was about to mention some touchy subject. A sense of morbid curiosity overcame Blake, telling her to stay still, lest she interrupted the conversation and never learned what Kali was so curious about.
"Sure, anything. Shoot," Yang agreed easily, seemingly unaware of Kali's apprehension.
"You see, I've been wondering for a while now..." Blake's mother paused and remained silent for a while, as if searching for the right words to ask her question; when they finally came, they hit Blake with the full strength of a speeding bullet. "Why have you forgiven Blake?"
Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of the dreaded question she had asked herself a hundred times over, tormenting herself during long, sleepless nights — one she had never uttered aloud, too afraid of the answer she so craved to know.
A part of her brain screamed at her to do something, to cover her ears, or to barge in and stop Yang from answering, to do anything… but she did not. She realized she needed to hear it, both for Yang and for her own sake. Taking a deep breath, she rested her forehead against the door and closed her eyes, listening in.
"I... I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have asked..." Kali apologized, seemingly abashed by the directness of her own question. "I just wanted to understand how you feel about it from the perspective of time. From what you both have told me about your time at Beacon, you two were really close. You've given her so much... and yet she has left you without a single word, at a time when you needed her most. It must've been… trying."
Blake clenched her eyelids even tighter, gritting her teeth. She despised herself for what she had done to Yang, for the abandonment she'd put her through after Yang had so readily put her life on the line in order to protect her. Blake had cost Yang her arm, and what she'd done to repay the favor was to cause her partner and best friend even more grief, breaking the heart she had been given.
And yet, back when they'd met at Haven, when Kali and Ghira had said to Yang that they were sorry for her loss, she just looked them in the eye and replied 'I'm not'.
Her mother continued. "Now, I do remember what you've said the first time we've met at Haven, that you don't regret defending her from Adam, but... weren't you angry?"
Yang let out a short laugh. "Oh, I was angry alright, believe me," she replied, sounding genuinely amused by the question. There was a pause after those words, lasting for a few moments before she ended it with a resigned sigh. "Y'see, abandonment has been kind of a recurring theme in my life. My biological mother left me shortly after I was born. Then we lost Summer, Ruby's mom, and dad completely shut in, coping with Summer's disappearance by working his ass off at Signal. And I, a little kid, was left alone, with no answer as to why. Was I not good enough? Was that why even my biological mother — of whom I learned only after we had lost Summer, by the way — had left me?" She remained quiet for a second, letting her words hang in the air for a bit before continuing to speak. "This question became my obsession, and I sobered up only after my stupidity had almost gotten both Ruby and I killed. Not that I ever stopped looking for the answer, no... but I got my priorities straight. I tried my best to be the big sis Ruby deserved, to fill in for the mother we've both lost... it was hard, but we've had one another, and Ru was the sweetest little sister I could've ever asked for."
"I moved on, striving to be better, to grow stronger, to be useful, so as to never again get tossed away like a dirty rag. And I s'ppose I kinda succeeded. I enrolled at Signal and gave it my all. I've gotten people to look up to me, to rely on me... then I graduated and went to Beacon. I met Weiss, met Blake, had a kick-ass team led by my little sister, of whom I couldn't be any more proud of. Honestly... it was the time of my life."
Hearing Yang's voice in that moment, Blake could easily imagine the girl's face — see that tiny little smile that would dance on her lips for a beautiful while, before disappearing unceremoniously like a spark once Yang's story took the inevitable dark turn.
"But then came the Fall. I lost my arm, and along with it I lost a piece of myself — and not just physically. The strength and reliability I'd worked so hard for — gone. People could no longer depend on me; I had to depend on them, even with something as simple as washing fucking dishes. I turned into a liability, and the moment I did, Blake just left. Just as my mother had," she said, with her voice starting to crack towards the end, the sound of which drove a dagger through Blake's heart.
A brief moment of silence followed; when Yang spoke again, she sounded strangely wistful, her words not much louder than a whisper, barely audible even to Blake's Faunus ears.
"Y'know, back before everything went to hell, I used to think that I've gotten over that whole abandonment thing, but... 's not really something you can get over, is it. It just sits silently somewhere in the back of your head, repressed, forgotten... but it's still there, waiting to come crushing on you when you're on your lowest. And crush me it did. Needless to say, I found myself in a very, very dark place."
She paused for a second and exhaled loudly; when she resumed her tale, her voice returned to its normal volume. "Thing was, I wasn't completely abandoned — Ruby and dad were there for me, trying to reach out to me... but I was just so bitter, so angry at everything and everyone that I just kept pushing them away. I felt betrayed, and the fact that it was Blake who had left me made it hurt all the more. She was my partner, my best friend... I would've been there for her if she just let me, so why wasn't she there for me when I needed her most?"
Burning hot tears began to flow down Blake's cheeks. "Because I was a worthless, self-righteous coward who's never deserved you," she berated herself in her thoughts.
She had known of Yang's history of abandonment, and yet she had still chosen to run away without as little as a goodbye, too afraid to face her best friend whom she had owed so much. It had been easier, running away form her problems and responsibilities… but it was Yang who had paid the price.
Blake had spent many nights thinking about it, wondering how Yang must've felt throughout the hell Blake's actions put her through… but no matter how accurate her guesses might have been, nothing had prepared her for hearing the truth straight from Yang's lips. It hurt;it hurt so much that she wanted nothing but to curl into a ball and just disappear into oblivion... and yet, in a strange, twisted sense, things she had heard had given her some sense of closure, some peace of mind. She no longer had to torture herself with guesses; she finally knew the truth.
"I kept asking myself that question as I spent my days just lying in bed, wallowing in self-pity for months. Back at the time I didn't know that Blake's disappearance was a well-intentioned, if pretty damn insensitive, attempt to protect us from Adam... but then again, I honestly doubt I would've cared at all even if I did know the truth. Hell, it was the first thing my sister said to me after I'd told her that Blake had run — that she must've had her reason. And Ruby was right, but I did not want to listen; all that mattered was that Blake had ditched me without as much as a word."
After a long period of being a silent listener, Kali finally decided to say something. "Do you think it would've been easier for you if Blake had explained herself before leaving?" she asked in a quiet, compassionate voice. Blake, in the meanwhile, pushed herself away from the door and stepped to the side, turning around and leaning her back against the wall; with her eyes closed and face turned towards the ceiling, she continued to cry in silence, listening and waiting for Yang to speak.
Yang did not reply straight away, taking a moment to consider her answer. "I wonder... on one hand, I wouldn't have felt so betrayed. On the other, I probably would've ended up feeling even more miserable and useless, not being able to go with her without being a hindrance. Or I'd have tried to stop her from leaving for Menagerie altogether, which would be really unfair, not to mention that it'd probably have ended up biting us all in our collective ass, what's with that whole White Fang mess that was going on." There was a while of silence, till Yang could be heard huffing through her nose in frustration, seemingly unable to decide on an answer. "I don't know... I really don't. I was a mess back then, and that's putting it mildly. By the time I got my act together, I had already managed to convince Ruby that I didn't want her around, to the point where she left for Mistral without me... off to save the world," she said, with clear traces of fondness echoing in her voice when she mentioned Ruby's quest. "Eventually, I got better. Came to terms with certain things, accepted myself the way I am now. Getting back together with Ruby and Weiss helped a lot, too. Still, if you asked me if I wanted to punch Blake straight into that pretty face of hers when we finally met again, the answer would be 'yes'. Hell, I almost did just that," she said, letting out a small chuckle; even Blake managed to smile a bit through her tears at the memory of their reunion.
Emerald's illusion dissipated as suddenly as it had appeared, its horror leaving them all in a daze. Stunned, they all looked around in search of their enemy, only to discover that they were alone; their opponents had fled. They had won. Letting out a long, shaky breath in relief, Blake reluctantly turned her head towards Ruby, Weiss and the rest of the company, feeling sick to her stomach at the thought of the conversation that was to come. Then, she winced, feeling as if her heart had been pierced with a needle; in that very moment, she met the gaze of the friend whose trust she had betrayed... and saw the lilac eyes flash red.
Yang shoved the strange object she'd been carrying into Qrow's arms, causing the man to stagger a bit. Burning with justified fury, she wordlessly stomped past her uncle and her speechless friends, not sparing them a single glance as she power-walked across the Great Hall, with her stare burning a hole straight through her former partner. Blake unwittingly took a few steps back until she hit the wall. With each heartbeat, Yang drew closer and closer... but even though her body was screaming at her to move and save her skin, Blake didn't budge; she was done with running away, and she certainly deserved what she believed was coming for her. So she simply waited for the justice to come, staring wistfully at the place where Yang's right forearm should've been.
When Yang was mere feet away, Blake clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, with the last things she had seen being a flash of bared teeth and an arm priming for a strike.
WHAM.
She heard the deafening crack of the wooden wall right next to her ear... but the skull-splitting pain she had expected never came, much to Blake's bewilderment. No-one had smashed her head into the wall, no tremendous force had lifted her off her feet, no punch to the gut had knocked the wind out of her lungs; she was completely fine, save for the fiendish ringing in her ears... but she failed to grasp the reason why.
Thinking that Yang simply must've missed her head and was about to deliver another strike, Blake opened her eyelids... and instead of seeing the crimson glare burning with rage, she was met with the sight of the beautiful lilac eyes brimming with tears, looking straight into hers. Before she could fully comprehend what was happening, her stunned self was pulled into a one-armed embrace, then brought to her knees when she tried to stabilize Yang as the girl's legs buckled under her.
In a matter of moments, Yang devolved into a sobbing mess, and Blake, having no idea what else to do in that unfathomable situation she'd found herself in, enveloped the poor thing in an awkward hug. Completely at a loss for words and knowing not what to think nor feel, she, too, found herself crying, too overwhelmed to even discern the reason why. Soon enough, Ruby and Weiss approached the two, smiling to one another, and silently joined in on the hug, finally reuniting team RWBY once and for all; that was how Kali and Ghira had found them when they walked into the Great Hall a few minutes later.
"But the urge to just hug her and not let go was stronger," Yang added, and, once again, Blake could hear a smile in her voice. "Of course, our relationship didn't just, like, magically get back to normal overnight. Oh no no, far from it. For the next few months, our interactions ranged from completely adorbs to incredibly awkward, and half the time the mood changed at the drop of the hat. Blake, er… she didn't really know how to act around me, what's with me having lost an arm and her feeling guilty, and whatnot. She was very supportive, though, tryin' to make up for leaving, and I really appreciated that. Thing is, there's a fine line between being supportive and being patronizing — a line she sometimes crossed without realizing it. And after losing my arm in her defense and then pulling myself back together on my own… well, let's say that nothing stung quite like Blake treating me like a figurine made out of brittle glass."
Blake winced at the memory of her many fuck-ups that had followed their reunion. In hindsight, she herself couldn't fathom how in the world had she been able to be so stupidly insensitive; it just boggled her mind how clueless she had been until Yang had finally snapped at her. In that moment, it had become clear to Blake that she still had not changed, and was just as selfish as she had ever been — in the end, even 'helping' Yang had served mostly just to make her own self feel better, to ease the guilt gnawing at her soul… and she loathed herself for that.
Yang carried on. "Still, I could tell that she was trying. That she seriously regretted having left me the way she did, and when I needed her the most. And, most importantly, she never ran from me again; she stayed by my side, and even tho' it took some time and effort, we've rebuilt what we've once had — together. That in mind, it wasn't all that hard to find it in myself to forgive her; I love that idiot, goddammit, and I was just happy to have her back."
"I see." Though Kali hadn't said much, Blake could still hear a faint but warm smile in her mother's voice.
Yang exhaled loudly; she seemed somewhat relieved to have taken these things off her chest. "So, I guess there's your answer. The way I see things or whatnot, and why I've since forgiven Blake. I just wish she'd forgive herself, too," Yang said, with the last sentence she'd uttered being nothing more than a quiet murmur, a silent plea spoken with a hint of desperation in her voice. "I'm worried, y'know? About her, 'bout us and our future. I love her, and I know she loves me back, but there are times when I can feel her just… slipping away. It's been that way over a year now, but she's still guilt-tripping herself like it's a pastime of hers. I tried talking with her… but it's like talking to a bloody wall — it just doesn't seem to get through, as if she just automatically assumed that I don't really mean what I say, or that I'm just pitying her or some such. She has that silly notion that she doesn't deserve me, or some other self-loathing bullshit. But, really, 's not for her to decide that; the decision is mine and mine alone. And I've already decided: I just want us to be happy, ideally together. But I don't know what to do to make her get it… and it kinda scares me."
A pitiful wail escaped Blake's throat despite her attempt at stifling it with her hand. Overwhelmed with emotion, she sunk down the wall as her legs failed and gave in. She cried openly now, forfeiting her futile attempts at biting back her sobs and containing her voice. She felt happy but also sad, relieved and ashamed, guilty and very, very confused with what was going on; it was as if the world had been turned upside down, and she just didn't understand it anymore.
In a matter of seconds, the door was flung open and Yang stormed in, her eyes searching wildly for Blake for the brief moment before finding the girl sitting on the floor right beside the entrance. Reluctantly, the dewy-eyed Blake looked up at Yang, who simply stared on in horror, seemingly not even noticing when Kali also stepped into the room and stood right next to her.
Blake opened her mouth, but no sound came forth. She just didn't know what to say… and judging from the sad, troubled look on Yang's face, neither did Yang. Finding no words that would help her, Yang simply knelt beside Blake and enveloped the crying mess of a girl in a warm, loving hug, placing a tender kiss atop Blake's scalp.
After a while, Kali, feeling slightly out of place, retreated out of the room and quietly closed the door behind her, giving the pair a sad but fond smile before tactfully leaving them alone.
Blake simply continued to cry, rocking back and forth in Yang's arms, with her wails only increasing in intensity as she went on. She felt absolutely terrible… and yet, even though hearing what Yang had said pained her immensely, she felt that those words had at the long last set her free. And deep down, somewhere among the wild torrent of confusing emotions raging in her chest, she found herself feeling ever so slightly more hopeful.
Author's Note:
Go to university, they said. It will be fun, they said. Who would've thought that studying three different foreign languages at uni would be so time-consuming, amirite?
So, uh, long time no see. I just thought I'd drop by and tell y'all that I'm still alive and reasonably well, just busy as hell with real life. Apologies for the short update; in fact, it's not even a full chapter, only the middle part of the whole thing (hence 'snippet') — this scene between Yang, Kali and Blake simply seemed fairly standalone, and I figured that posting something would be better than leaving you hanging. Once the rest is ready, I'm probably gonna delete this update and re-upload its contents as a part of the chapter proper... unless the whole thing will be sitting at around 15k words total, which currently does not seem all that unlikely.
Actually, that's probably exactly what's gonna happen. Oh well.
I hope that you didn't mind this update being so Bumblebee-focused, without even a sprinkling of Ruby and Weiss (if it's any consolation, the rest of the chapter is mostly about the other pair, especially Ruby). I also wasn't sure if I should retcon Blake and Yang's canon reunion. You see, I tend to be wary of messing with the established canon too much if I can avoid it without negatively impacting the story... but, y'see, I've had this idea for the Bumblebees' reunion for the longest time, waaaay before V5 aired. Then the V5 came out, the canon reunion happened and I couldn't help but feel it was kind of... well, meh. I mean, it was sweet alright, but also very... bland. Knowing how deeply Blake's departure had affected Yang and how strongly Yang had felt about it, I expected it to be far more heated. In any case — what do you think of my retconning? Yay or nay?
I'm sorry it's taking so long. October and November were pretty damn intense, to the point where I had barely any time to sleep, let alone to write. On rare occassions when I did have some time to spare, I often just didn't have the energy necessary to do so and usually ended up chilling and playing games, and when I did get around to writing, the damned thing just refused to cooperate. It's a heavy, important chapter, too, so I don't want to half-ass things. January's gonna be hard, what's with exams and whatnot, but I'll have most of February off. In any case, I'll keep working on the storywhenever time and the Muses allow.
Thanks for your time, follows, faves, reviews and just staying around; I really appreciate it. Oh, and belated happy New Year!