Puits d'Amour
Perspective, Pt 2
Eimi trailed behind Koushiro, Yamato, and Mimi in the main Tachikawa building lobby, a huge space with a reception area in the center and shops on either side. She gawked at the fancy chandeliers, the classy decor, the incredible scale of everything. She had wanted to visit for ages- years, even- but it was just as intimidating as she had feared. She squeaked when a beautiful employee in uniform bowed and welcomed them.
The lobby was bustling, both with employees and customers. The vibe was social and energetic, much like Mimi herself, with happy chatter bouncing around the huge space as excited customers browsed high quality wares. Eimi saw radios, phonographs, microphones, records, sheet music, and instruments for sale, mostly without labeled prices. That didn't really matter- she knew at a glance that she couldn't afford a thing.
In addition to shops, the main Tachikawa facility also offered recording services and provided working spaces for their business team and engineers, meaning that Koushiro came to this luxurious place almost daily. Their factories were located in less expensive regions of Hakone.
Eimi stared at the shiny floors, worrying her lip and balancing her guitar case on her shoes to keep it off the wood. The concept that she would meet a prince, let alone have one take an interest in her music, would have been absurd a few days ago. And yet, here she stood, trailing after His Highness and feeling frightfully out of place.
Mimi's father, mother, and grandfather quickly shuttled them to the recording area, which was not currently open to the public. They entered a room of generous size with wooden floors, wooden slatted walls, and a wall bearing electronics and wires that Eimi was terrified to approach. She scurried to the piano, which was flanked by chairs, music stands, and microphones.
Naturally, the Tachikawas focused on the prince, and Eimi prepared in the background, placing her guitar and sheet music near a music stand. She didn't dare sit or speak unless the prince sat or spoke to her first. She wanted to go to Koushiro, but he was politely engaged in the conversation, even if the Tachikawas did most of the talking.
Mimi's mother was a petite woman with auburn hair and a permanently excited expression. Her father was taller, with a long face and dark hair, wearing round tinted glasses, even inside. Their clothes seemed of fine quality, but of a style Eimi hadn't seen before. She wondered if they created trends in fashion as well as music, or if they simply wore what they liked, having the money and sway to do so without judgment. Her grandfather presented more normally, from Eimi's perspective. He was gruff in appearance, almost grizzled, and wore a green kimono.
"Well, we'll leave you to it," Mimi's grandfather said at last. "You're in the best hands with Izumi-kun. When you're ready to leave, send him to find someone. We'll empty whatever areas you want to visit."
"Thank you very much," Yamato replied.
"Not at all, we're thrilled to have you," Mimi's mother said. "And I'm dying to hear your music. We'd be honored to offer you our recording and production services."
Yamato's smile seemed a bit reluctant. "I can't say I'm not interested, but I'm not at Eimi-chan's skill level."
"Eimi-chan's a professional," Mimi said, flapping a hand. "It's not fair to compare yourself to her, and anyway, it's best when we hear all kinds of music." She flashed the miraculous smile that sold thousands of drinks and pastries at the café. "Especially a prince's music!"
"Thank you," Yamato replied, "but let's focus on getting Eimi-chan's music published, for now."
"Of course!" Mimi's mother said. "We'll show you the process with Eimi-chan, and then it will be your turn, if you'd like!"
Eimi observed from a few meters back, processing a rush of impressions. It didn't escape her notice that a prince referred to her casually, and she knew he wanted her to use his first name. Mimi was thrilled with this, but Eimi wasn't so sure. Was that really... allowed? There were no guards in the recording room to potentially punish her, but they were stationed in the hallway, ready to respond to the prince.
Furthermore, she realized that she was being offered as a trial run for the prince's benefit. That stung- until Eimi recalled that Mimi suggested this recording opportunity well before the prince arrived. Reassured, she released that worry. If the prince got something out of this, then all the better for the Tachikawas. Eimi knew that nobles and tradespeople exchanged favors as much as goods and money.
"Good luck, Eimi-chan," Mimi's father said. "We're so thrilled to have you. Mimi loves your music and has been talking about this for ages."
Eimi twitched, but managed to save herself from a full body startle. "T-thank you," she replied, bowing. "I, I truly appreciate the opportunity."
"Sweetie! Don't be so formal," Mimi's mother said. "Any friend of Mimi's is part of the Tachikawa family! We'd love to have you over for dinner soon."
Eimi knew her smile was wobbly, but what could she do? She'd love to spend time with the Tachikawas, but if she shared their table… If she released a record with them... Would they come to regret it?
"Thank you," she repeated. What else could she say? Fortunately, the Tachikawas seemed happy with that, and after promising refreshments, they departed.
Which left Eimi in a recording studio with a prince, the only heiress of a rich family, and the man who wanted to court her- and didn't accept her stigma as a reason to walk away. Eimi itched to hold her guitar case against her front again, like a shield, but it was already on the floor.
"Would you like to warm up while I prepare the recording equipment?" Koushiro asked.
Eimi hovered by the chair near the microphone, but didn't dare sit while the prince stood. She didn't realize she was staring at him, awaiting a signal, until he blinked and said, "Eimi-chan- I'm not a prince in here. I'm..." He tipped his head, considering. "A fan, and someone who wants to learn."
There was a pause as Eimi floundered. A prince, her fan? She didn't have fans, not beyond Koushiro, but that was- He was uncharacteristically irrational around her. And Iori, Mimi, and Sora were just too nice to begin with.
"He means sit down," Mimi sighed. "Honestly, Eimi-chan, we can't do this if you're all stiff."
Eimi sat, more out of necessity than desire. "I can't help it. I, I know that if a prince asks, I had best say yes. But... Mimi-chan, if your company makes records with my name on them, um..." Her gaze sank to the floor. "People might... Look me up? And, um... That could be... bad... for me, and for your company. That's why..."
There was a terrible pause. When Eimi finally summoned the courage to look up, Koushiro stood by equipment she couldn't name, suspending a wire and gazing at her with a complex expression. Mimi's palms were on her cheeks, pressing in, squishing her face.
Yamato scowled. "I didn't think of that. Damn- And I thought we understood the situation better, now."
Despite everything, hearing a prince curse made Eimi giggle. "I didn't think of it, either!" Mimi cried. "Eimi-chan, why didn't you say that?! I thought you were being shy or stubborn when you turned me down!"
I'm not stubborn! The words almost popped out, but luckily, Eimi took a moment to consider them- and acknowledged that they were false. "I'm not shy," she substituted, and Yamato cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not," she repeated, grateful that she hadn't mentioned the stubborn bit.
"I'm sorry," Koushiro murmured. "We were so eager to help you widen your audience that we didn't consider the implications. And we've been insisting for so long..."
"Have you considered publishing under a stage name?" Yamato suggested. "It's common."
Mimi's eyes twinkled, all problems forgotten. "That's perfect! Eimi-chan, you could even change your surname!" She glanced at Koushiro, and the gleam in her eyes went mischievous. He seemed to sense trouble; his shoulders hunched. "Koushiro-kun could help you with that!"
Heat rushed to Eimi's face, and she grabbed the seat of her chair for purchase. "You're skipping several steps," Koushiro replied, with an ease suggesting he had said it before. His calmness should have soothed Eimi, but the concept that he had an answer prepared for this situation launched her pulse to an aching pace.
When Mimi's giggling subsided, Koushiro said, "Yamato-san, Mimi-san, can I please speak to Eimi-san privately? I understand that you can't leave the room, but if you could give us some space…"
Eimi's neck cricked as her head whipped towards him. What was this, now? Especially after his last statement?! He looked composed, more or less…
Except that the fingers of his free hand were drumming against his thigh.
Eimi suppressed a sigh. Mimi adored excitement and romance, so she wasn't surprised when she said, "On it! Let's talk over here, Yamato-san!", and led the prince to the far corner of the room, where she started a loud conversation about music. Yamato looked baffled to be seized by the arm and hauled away, a maneuver that no one but Mimi would dare perform.
Koushiro connected the wire he held, then approached her chair. When he knelt beside her, Eimi's heart lodged in her throat, misguided by Mimi's playful suggestions of marriage. This impression was enforced when he took her hand in both of his.
"I can't understand how difficult your situation is," he said gently. "I apologize for failing to appreciate the gravity of it before."
Eimi stared at his earnest, concerned expression. Without thinking, she brushed a wavy lock of hair away from his eyes, tucking it behind his ear. A besotted smile overtook his face, and he leaned into her touch. Panicking, Eimi jerked her hand away, but he squeezed her other one, as if to say, I saw that.
It was a struggle to clear the obstruction from her throat. After a few false starts, Eimi managed, "What changed?"
"We spoke with Ichijouji Osamu. I hope that wasn't invasive, but he knew things we didn't."
And again, her beleaguered heart went haywire, fluttering like a hummingbird somewhere between her chest and throat. "It's dangerous to tell people-"
"I know," he said, leaning in. "I know, and I apologize. I won't tell anyone else, and we've impressed the urgency of secrecy on everyone. And, even now, if you want to back out of recording to remain anonymous, you can. We'll all respect that. But I want you to know..."
He paused and broke eye contact at last. Eimi heard him swallow, felt his grip tighten on her hand. "I recommend publishing under a pseudonym, as Yamato-san suggested. There's also no need for your photograph to be on the record sleeve. But if those precautions aren't enough to prevent you from being recognized..."
The next breath he drew faltered, shook. He looked up at her again, and the fear in his eyes made Eimi ache. She placed a hand on his shoulder, needing to reassure without understanding anything. His lips twitched into a smile, but apprehension remained his dominant expression.
"Why are you scared?" Eimi's hand slid to his neck, and his pulse drummed into her palm.
She was close enough to feel the huff of air he released. "I apologize. My goal is to encourage you, but… This is more vulnerable than I expected."
Eimi shook her head, not understanding. "Vulnerable? What is?"
They were already bent close together, speaking in near whispers. Koushiro bridged the gap, resting his forehead on hers. His eyes fluttered shut, and Eimi watched those long, russet lashes curve against reddening skin. There was a rhythmic pounding in her chest, a flutter in her stomach that might have been pleasant- if she had any hope of indulging it.
"I can't hide my intentions towards you after this," he murmured, eyes still shut. "Not that I ever tried to, but- Well, there's a certain finality to…"
"Koushiro-kun," Eimi murmured. "I don't understand, but it's going to be okay."
He managed a frazzled, overwhelmed laugh. "When I was making these arrangements, I was so focused on the task, so grateful to grasp at a way forward after all this time. It's only now that it's hitting me…"
When he hesitated once more, Eimi blurted, "What arrangements?"
Koushiro's hand slid to the back of her neck, hot and clammy. He took a deep breath, then began, "If you lose your scholarship because of your father's reputation, I'll pay for the remainder of your education. I've already cleared this with my parents."
"Koushiro-kun!" Eimi objected. Her tongue felt numb, and she wasn't sure if her words were intelligible. Regardless, Koushiro went on.
"If you lose your dorm lodgings, my parents have agreed to put you up through your schooling."
"And if you lose your job?" Eimi was touched, she really was, but that couldn't contend with her panic and anger. How dare Koushiro risk himself and his future in a totally avoidable way? How dare he dangle hope in her face that she could never have?! Frustration bubbled into tears, as it had so many times since she realized she loved him.
The fingers against the back of her neck curled, creating damp pressure points. "I spoke to the Tachikawas. They altered my employment paperwork to reflect that I cannot be fired for reasons relating to someone else's reputation. Sora-san is willing to draw up a similar document for you."
"Wha, what- Koushiro-kun-" Eimi felt the stressed furrows in his forehead, the sheen of sweat. She wished he would look at her, so she could have a prayer of understanding- but perhaps that wouldn't help. She had never been so desperately overwhelmed in her twenty-three years.
"Forgive me," Koushiro murmured. "All this time, I saw your concerns as disproportionately augmented. I viewed them as something in my way, instead of something to address. I thought my word that things would be fine, that I'd stand by you even if your father's reputation caught up to you in Nagano, would suffice. Thanks to Ichijouji-san, I understand how foolish I was. I'm so sorry I didn't take your word for it- that should have been enough. This has been a sorely needed lesson for me, but it shouldn't have come at your expense. But... I hope my actions now will show you…"
At last, Eimi's wish was granted. Koushiro pulled back enough to look at her, his face red, his eyes wet. Eimi didn't consider herself an experienced person; she had only seen her small home province and Nagano, and Koushiro was her first love. She couldn't say for sure, but…
Koushiro's heart was in his eyes- and in her teeth. She couldn't breathe- everything hurt too much. There was no way to give him what he wanted without destroying him, and no way to withhold without the same.
"I was never upset with you- I don't want you to apologize or feel bad- So, so please-" Eimi didn't know she was speaking, didn't realize her eyes were running until Koushiro fished a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbed her cheek, and handed it over.
"I'm not nervous about having my apology accepted, although I'm grateful you haven't taken offense. I'm nervous about having my suit accepted."
This again?! The room went volcanic, or maybe that was just her, broiling on the inside. Koushiro first approached her as a suitor roughly a year ago, after almost three years of friendship. For noble families like Koushiro's adoptive mother's, these arrangements were normally conducted between parents or senior family members. Eimi's parents were too far away and unknown for Koushiro to approach them about his suit, which was a blessing. But far more importantly, she was grateful that Koushiro discussed a courtship with his intended first, rather than going over her head to older relatives- relatives who could pawn her off to any suitor they suspected they could benefit from.
Koushiro was a gentleman, respectful to his core; he would never treat anyone like a business asset, even if he had the means and status to do so. Eimi was crushingly aware of (and besotted by) his gentle, yielding personality. One no was all it took; he didn't argue or pressure her when she turned him down. But after she explained her situation, their relationship had to change. If she was alone with him again, even once, she knew… Her desire to take what she wanted would outweigh her willpower to protect him.
Koushiro's potential was endless; she refused to allow her stigma to diminish him.
The shift in their once intimate friendship eviscerated her, even more than knowing that she couldn't accept the dream he freely offered. There were no more late nights bent over sheet music and composition assignments together. No more private voice lessons with his adorable tenor in her ear, with Eimi laughing, laughing, pressing a palm to his stomach and chiding, you're still not breathing from the diaphragm! No more crowding by a borrowed campus phonograph, sharing their favorite music.
Every day, Eimi expected Koushiro to slowly lose interest in her. She hoped for it- a poisonous sort of hope, a possibility that destroyed as much as it protected. Instead, he asked what her boundaries were, and lived within them. He seemed to think that his continued presence would convince her that he would stand by her, no matter what happened with her family's stigma. It could not; she had seen far too much damage done by her father's scandal.
It just made her love him so much that she felt sick with the dead possibilities of it.
"I, I- Regardless of everything else, you would still lose your social network if people knew-"
"Eimi-san, please." Koushiro ran his hands through her hair. Eimi adored them, and his long, dexterous fingers. How they danced over his violin, sure and agile. How he touched things, examined them, so patient and thorough. As intelligent, capable, and grown as he was, he often reminded her of a child, exploring everything with wonder, wanting to know how the world worked. Before he asked to court her, he snuck so many little touches in. She eventually understood what they meant, but tried not to, because she didn't want to lose his hands on her.
Mimi and the prince, the actual factual future king, were in the room. Eimi had to ask Koushiro to stop, and yet, all her starved brain offered was, touch me, touch me, touch me. The gentle pressure of fingertips on her scalp sent tingles over her. How could she scold him? Her hands were curled around his shoulders, pulling him in.
"I've spoken to my parents, and to our mutual friends who are already apprised of the situation. They've all assured me that they won't turn on us if the rumors catch up to you."
Eimi's laugh was dry, hollow. A breath of pain, a brutal shift from fantasy to reality. "Everyone says that. And they aren't rumors. It's… it's all true."
She was looking subtly away from him. Koushiro gently adjusted the angle of her head, pointing her eyes to his, and offered a tremulous smile. "I understand. But we aren't nearly as vulnerable as the families in your home province. If enough nobles publicly decide that they aren't bothered by the court case, then the rest will follow- especially if a prince maintains association with you."
Eimi's gaze jerked to Yamato, who was carefully looking at the wall, then back to Koushiro. "He can do that?" she whispered.
Although he still looked stressed, Koushiro's smile grew. "I'm made to understand that a prince can do what he wants, within reason."
"No, I mean- Won't his parents object?"
"While I understand that you've suffered because of this situation, the king and queen won't be impacted by it."
Eimi just gawked at him. Her head felt fit to pop, straining with buzzing pressure. She could accept that there were benefits to being royal, but few people enjoyed them. "But- But what if, for example, Iori-kun pulls away from you?"
"I spoke with him, and he insisted that he won't be deterred. Ah, adamantly, in fact." Koushiro grimaced. "He was… rather insulted when I asked. Iori-kun is like a brother to me, and he already sees you like a sister."
"You're skipping several steps!" Though she echoed Koushiro's retort, Eimi couldn't imitate his calm delivery. It came out strangled, overwhelmed, and Koushiro grinned. The amused endearment in his expression staggered her, and she wanted to flee. But she couldn't trust her feet, and besides, what could she do? Knock a prince aside and get lost in the enormous facility?
No, she was trapped here, watching Koushiro lift her hand to his lips for a kiss. Eimi thought she squelched the squeak that slid up her throat, but the way Koushiro's lips curled up at the corners hinted otherwise. "I'm willing to skip steps, if you are."
"K-koushiro-kun!" Eimi blurted. "This- This is so much- Did you really do all of those things?"
One of his hands remained around hers. The other awkwardly scratched the back of his fluffy head. "I did. I feel so foolish for not taking action sooner."
"But- But why?" Eimi glanced at Mimi and Yamato, whose conversation had suspiciously decreased in volume, and inched closer to Koushiro. "I just, I don't understand. You're amazing. You could have anyone you want, and, and I'm from a lower class than you, even ignoring my circumstances-"
"Eimi-san." Although his volume was just above a whisper, Eimi's mouth snapped shut. "I've struggled to connect with the person I want- the only person I want- for a year. If you tell me you're not interested in me romantically, I'll respect that. Until then, I'll do everything in my power..." He cleared his throat, and his grip on her hand went a little painful. "I, I sincerely hope I haven't pushed too hard or been too presumptuous. If, if you aren't interested, just say the word."
"Of course I'm- Koushiro-kun- You, you know how I-" Eimi cleared her throat and glanced at Yamato and Mimi again. Koushiro followed her gaze over his shoulder and flashed a rueful smile.
"Can we talk about this privately?" Eimi whispered.
Her mistake was immediately obvious. Interest lit his eyes, and the nerves that were so rampant a moment ago vanished. She couldn't say he looked victorious- he was far too yielding for that- but he clearly sensed that he was gaining ground. "Of course, anytime, but where? I only see you at the café."
"I'm still worried about your reputation," Eimi said quietly- a vain warning. If he had her alone, she would crumble. Hell, she was already crumbling, even with Mimi and Yamato pretending not to listen in the corner. "But, um, if you're certain-"
"I am."
This time, he looked her dead in the eye when he kissed her hand, and her brain fizzled, popped, and blinked out, like a light bulb with a burnt filament. Face heating, she blurted, "Then, um, where, where would you like to meet?"
"If you're looking for privacy, my home is best."
His home, of course. His home- a place she had never seen, after all this time. His home- where she could slip inside at night, with no one the wiser. His home- where people generally kept their beds. "Koushiro-kun," Eimi murmured, uncertain and worried- and frankly stunned by the immediate raunchy turn of her thoughts. But a glance at Mimi, who seemed to be vibrating with excitement, made her agree, if only to escape this conversation in public. "Um, alright."
And oh, his smile, that blooming hope, so tender and fragile and bright... Eimi folded the memory away, searching for words to describe it, for no one's benefit but her own. She had to sing about it, to keep it alive in her heart.
"It's never been a lack of interest," Eimi whispered, in case any doubt lingered. "You know that. Right?"
He kissed her hand one last time, then released her and rose. Voice wavering, he said, "Thank you. Forgive me, we're here to record. Perhaps I shouldn't have- But I had to tell you- Can you still perform?"
Eimi blinked. She knew where she was the whole time, and was cognizant of their company, but suddenly, it sank in that she hadn't sung a single note. "Koushiro-kun," she groaned, cupping her forehead.
As if Koushiro standing was a signal, Mimi bounded towards them. "We're all here now! Let's do this!"
Eimi felt eyes on her, and turned to Yamato. He was staring, considering. "Warm up," he suggested. "That seems to center you."
It was probably unwise to gawk at a prince, but what could she do? "When did you get that impression?"
"When I watched your performance, of course. You begin with instrumental music whenever you're interrupted."
"What do you do when you need to... center yourself?" Eimi asked, echoing his language. It was only fair, after all, that she knew that in return. That was her logic, but her primary motivation was to move attention as far away from her conversation with Koushiro as possible.
"I walk," Yamato replied. "With my dog, preferably. I also play music."
Eimi brightened. "You have a dog? Can I meet them?"
Yamato grinned- and suddenly, he looked far less intimidating. "You're more interested in Roncier than you are in me, aren't you?"
Mimi giggled, and Koushiro smiled and replied, "She's fond of animals, and there aren't many pets in cities."
"Especially not in the dorms," Eimi sighed. She sounded put out, but she was intensely grateful for the shift in topic.
"I'll bring Roncier next time the weather allows, since he can't enter the café," Yamato replied.
"What instruments do you play?" Eimi asked. "I got bullied into recording. It's only fair you do, too." She failed to notice that she was insisting on equal treatment with a prince, nor the implications of doing so… But Yamato's smile kept growing.
"We should all perform together!" Mimi cried. "All of us can sing, Koushiro-kun plays violin, and you two play guitar and piano, right?"
"Ah, while I technically can sing, the ladies are much more skilled," Koushiro interjected.
"I'd like that," Yamato replied. "Do you think the violin can play jazz?"
"It's certainly not common," Koushiro replied, brow furrowing. "But I would like to try."
"I'd love to play with you." Too late, Eimi realized that she was clearly speaking to Koushiro, not Yamato. She twitched and faced the prince. "Um. Your Highness."
Yamato laughed, and Eimi glanced at Koushiro and Mimi, as if to verify that they saw the same thing she did. He approached their group, still laughing, hands tucked in his pants pockets.
For most of her limited experience with Yamato, he looked serious, even intimidating. How much of that was due to his title, his usual scowl, or his unapproachable body language was unclear, but now? Now, with his eyes bright with laughter, his posture relaxed, and his head tipped playfully to the side...
Well, he looked like any of her friends, enjoying her company.
"Yamato," he repeated. "If we're going to play together, use my name. And don't worry; I expect to rate below your sweetheart."
"Now a prince is teasing me about Koushiro-kun, too?!" Eimi demanded, before she could think better of it. She gasped as her own complaint registered, but Yamato laughed harder still. He placed a hand on her music stand for support.
When he calmed, he said, "Warm up. Koushiro-kun, how is the equipment setup going?"
"Ah, let me continue. I apologize for the delay."
"Not at all," Yamato replied. "But I do want to get this done. I'm looking forward to your record, Eimi-chan."
Eimi tipped her head, still struggling with all of this. "You... really do want to get to know us," she said slowly.
The humor slipped from his expression. "That's right," he said, serious once more. "I'd like that."
Eimi fought the urge to throw her hands up. "I'm so confused," she sighed. "I was told no one would want to talk to me in Nagano, that I wouldn't fit in. And I can't keep you high class folks away! And now a prince?!"
Mimi laughed, all delight. "Sorry! You're stuck with us, Eimi-chan!"
Eimi sighed, bent forward, and opened her guitar case. She settled her instrument against her front, strummed a few times, and made tuning adjustments. Then, somewhat settled, she said, "You told me earlier that you didn't fully understand my situation, but... Clearly, that goes both ways. I have misconceptions to address, too. So... If you don't mind, I'd really appreciate your help."
"Of course," Koushiro said warmly.
"I look forward to it," Yamato replied. Mimi opted to hug Eimi around the shoulders, nearly smacking into the head of her guitar.
When Mimi released her, Eimi started her warm up, and before long, the recording session began. It was fortunate, really, that she had an immediate task to focus on- and more so that it was musical. There was no need to attempt to examine or control her emotions. She simply poured them out, channeling them through song.
And when Koushiro smiled at her, she allowed herself to hope, at last.
Author's Note: And that's all of the material I wrote in 2021! Puits d'Amour is on hiatus until roughly late January/early February 2023- there are more details at the end of the previous chapter. You can follow me on Tumblr or subscribe to me or this work to be notified when PdA restarts! And don't worry, I'll still be around and posting digimon content in the interim!
Thank you so much for reading PdA, and please don't worry about the story being abandoned or something like that. It will absolutely come back! I can't wait to share the rest of the story with you. Please do leave me a review, it would mean a lot to me! I'll see you again soon, please take care and be well!