Puits d'Amour

Connection, Pt 2

Ken failed to smother another yawn. He eyed the espresso machine and swallowed a sigh. He had already thrown back two shots today. A third was not advisable, and yet… Gods, he was tired.

Ken shook his head, straining to clear his foggy mind. Mimi stood beside him at the counter/pastry display case in Café du Ciel's main room, working the register. Like him, she wore a button down shirt in the café's signature sky blue, black pants, and a black apron. Her friendly energy radiated, and Ken felt stiff as a mannequin beside her.

It was a fine day, if a bit cooler than the previous weeks. The lunch rush had passed, and Ken was enjoying a rare lull, standing at the espresso machine and gazing into previously unseen voids.

"Ken-kun, you okay? You've been droopy all day!"

Mimi's bright, chipper voice struck Ken like a thunderclap; he nearly departed his mortal form. He grabbed the counter for support, took a grounding breath, and forced a rubbery smile. "I don't think you know the meaning of the word."

Mimi tsked, but grinned. "I said you're drooping, not me!"

"Fair," Ken admitted. "I'm just tired."

"Shit. Sorry about that."

Ken jumped again, poor thing, and whirled towards the customer side of the counter. Taichi stood there, looking contrite- and, frankly, even worse than Ken felt. His skin was dull, his hair flat and frizzy.

Ken cleared his throat, painfully aware that heat was rushing to his face. "Taichi-san… I didn't mean to complain. How is Hikari-san?"

Taichi's sigh was a ragged, powerful thing, like wind soughing through trees. His shoulders seemed stuck in a slumped position. "Not… good. Thanks again for covering the morning shifts. I know it sucks to wake up so early every day." A lump slid down his throat when he swallowed. "I wish I could repay you somehow."

Ken shook his head, mortified, dearly wishing he hadn't shown signs of this situation wearing on him. "You're taking care of Hikari-san and covering her work so she can rest. That's all the thanks I need."

"Ken-kun!" Mimi turned dewy eyes to him, then squished him in a hug. "You are the actual sweetest!"

Taichi managed a thin smile. "I'll let Mimi-chan handle the hugs. Just know that I won't forget what you're doing for Hikari and me. I'll make it up to you somehow."

Taichi cuffed his shoulder, and Ken jerked forward under the weight. Turning pinker than ever, he choked, "That's not- I'm glad to help."

"Yeah," was Taichi's gruff reply. "I know. It's still good of you. But get out of here; time for me to relieve you."

"Thanks. I'm caught up on orders." Taichi lifted the counter go through for Ken. They swapped places, with Taichi shutting himself behind the counter.

"Don't forget your lunch," Taichi said, as if Ken had ever neglected free food. "Oh, and I saw Eimi-chan waffling around out back. She's here for you, yeah? Haven't seen Koushiro."

"Yes." Ken and Eimi had plans to chat about her studio visit. In truth, while he'd always be there for Eimi, he suspected that her retelling of the recording session would be emotionally charged, whether it went well or poorly. He had no idea how he would manage to contribute. Attempting to think felt like stepping into quicksand; the more he struggled, the deeper into oblivion he sank.

At last, Taichi released Ken, and he inched upright again. "I know her usual drink order. You see what she wants to eat."

Ken blinked. Normally, employees received free food on days they worked at the café, and Eimi wasn't performing today. "We aren't eating here," Ken said, straining for diplomacy. They were planning to eat at a campus cafeteria, utilizing the free meals from their scholarships. Ken would save the free food from today's shift for dinner, but he and Eimi didn't have money to spare on expensive café fare.

"You're both eating- and you're not paying." Ken recognized the stubborn set of Taichi's jaw and knew that he had hit an immovable wall.

Ever since Ken started taking the morning shift so Taichi could fill in for Hikari's flower delivery and arrangement service, Taichi took every opportunity to do something for him. Or, in this case, for his oldest friend. Ken hesitated. He genuinely didn't want Taichi to feel indebted to him, but then… Well, allowing him opportunities to pay him back might help ease his guilt. Maybe it was best to thank him and move on, and yet…

Cursing himself in every colorful way he could conceive, Ken admitted that he couldn't let this go. "Thank you. I'll gladly take you up on that, but… Please, don't feel guilty on top of everything else. You take care of Hikari-chan. The rest of us will take care of you."

Taichi's eyes widened, and he quickly looked away. "You're too soft-hearted. I… don't know why this is so hard for me."

"It's because you always take care of everyone!" Somehow, Mimi sounded both supportive and exasperated. "We see that, you know! And we want to help you back! But you're right; Ken-kun really is the sweetest!"

Ken backed away, overstimulated and eager to leave. "Thank you, Taichi-san. I'll be right back." He retreated to the rear of the café and opened the back door. Early afternoon sunlight poured through, eye-wateringly bright. Ken squinted, annoyed by the ocular assault, but the warmth on his skin was a compelling contrast against the cooler air outside.

When his eyes adjusted, he found Eimi hovering in the back alley, watching workers unload a truck into the business next door. When she noticed him, she beamed and called, "Ken!"

And that was all the evidence Ken needed to know that the recording session- and presumably, the conversation with Koushiro- had gone well. He was relieved, but wary. He took no pleasure in treating Koushiro with caution, but how could he not?

He knew where he and Eimi came from.

Ken didn't bother exiting the café. "Hey, Eimi. What do you want for lunch?"

She blinked, confused, then began shifting her weight. "Oh, uh… You know, I'd rather, um…"

"On the house," Ken replied, although he suspected that Taichi, not Sora, was comping her meal.

"Oh, really? Is there a special occasion?"

Ken shrugged, reluctant to explain the situation with Taichi. "I wouldn't question it. What will it be?" After some dithering, Eimi gave her order, and Ken went to the kitchen to place it.

Delicious scents enveloped him as he stepped inside, particularly aromatic soup broths and baking bread. The sight of Daisuke's broad back, standing at a large vat of soup, brightened Ken's strained mood.

The staff was trained to announce their presence in the kitchen to avoid collisions. Taking full advantage of that protocol, Ken murmured, "Daisuke," soft and rich.

The huge, toothy grin Daisuke flashed as he turned warmed Ken, alleviating his fatigue. "Hey! Heading out? Lucky!" His voice was energetic and cheerful, matching the man.

"Yes. I'm sorry." Ken preferred to take afternoon shifts, to better complement Daisuke's chef hours. "I know we haven't been able to spend much time together recently…"

And suddenly, Daisuke's expression was uncommonly serious. "Hey. Stop there. You're doing this for Taichi-san and Hikari-chan. When I say I'm okay with that, I mean it. We're just lucky your last semester is light…"

Ken made a noncommittal sound. In truth, he had explained his situation to professors, who swapped him into different sessions of the same classes he was already enrolled in. Luckily, everyone was sympathetic to the situation, or simply didn't mind.

Daisuke sighed and shook his head. "Poor Taichi-san, though… He hates the flower stuff, and he's working two jobs. Sora-san hasn't said anything, but his displays are crap compared to Hikari-chan's, too. We need to take care of him… Can you see if he's hungry?"

"I'll ask," Ken replied. "I'd also like to put in orders for Eimi and me."

"Nice, tell her I said hi." Daisuke glanced around the kitchen. People were busy working, but no one was in the immediate area. Ken knew what would happen when Daisuke grinned. Sure enough, he smooched Ken's lips, there and gone, just enough contact to hint that he had recently sampled from the vat.

Ken cleared his throat. "I'll, um, I'll have the soup."

Daisuke laughed. "Ha! Did I sell it? I'll give you bread and salad, too. Nuts for energy. It's better for you than coffee."

"Daisuke…" Ken was a light eater, but Daisuke had a point. He was making more demands of his body recently, so he had to fuel it. "Fine. Let me talk to Taichi-san." He gave Eimi's order, removed his apron and placed it in a bin by the door to the cellar, then backtracked to the main café area.

Taichi didn't look up from the beverage he was working on when Ken approached the counter. "Gimme a sec, not done with her drink yet."

"No rush," Ken replied. "Daisuke asked if you want something for lunch."

Taichi gaped at him, slowly processing his words. When the meaning hit, he exhaled. "Shit, I forgot to eat. I want meat- the beef dip sandwich. And soup. And salad. Dealer's choice on the last two. Thanks."

After delivering those clipped instructions, Taichi's gaze clicked robotically back to the coffee machine. Concerned, but not wishing to further burden Taichi, Ken backtracked to the kitchen and repeated the order to Daisuke.

"Can you give him a lot? Whatever's most nutritional?" Lowering his voice, Ken added, "He, um… He looks awful."

Daisuke's back tensed, a stretch of stressed muscles. "'Course he does… I'll make sure he gets plenty. I'll have Wallace bring it."

"Thanks. We'll be outside." Another chef was passing, so Ken lost his opportunity for a little smooch. He settled for a smile that he hoped looked more convincing than it felt.

When he returned, Eimi was seated at a table outside. Café du Ciel was on the end of the row of businesses, so it had a lovely side yard. True, it looked out to the roads in front and to the side of the building, but the yard featured lovely landscaping, as was to be expected from a plot owned by an ancestral line of ikebana masters. It was a pleasant outdoor area featuring black metal bistro tables and chairs, each shaded by a pale blue umbrella. In summer, it was packed, but the nip to the day and the in-between hours granted them privacy.

Ken approached, and was reasonably assured that he was smiling. Unfortunately, the fatigued noises he restrained all day finally escaped when he sat.

Eimi scooted her chair until it nearly bumped into his, looking worried. "You okay?" Her eyes narrowed as she gazed at him, as if she were trying to bring him into better focus. "You're tired."

Ken nodded. He resisted showing his exhaustion among the café staff, especially Taichi, but Eimi was unrelated to the shift situation. Regardless, they knew when the other was lying or withholding. That was sometimes annoying, but Ken valued having someone he could be totally honest with.

"It's the morning shift. I hope I'll get used to it soon. Oh, and Daisuke says hi." Luckily, Ken had no classes today, so he could rest. After this late lunch with Eimi, his big plans consisted of wearing something cozy, drinking hot chocolate, and conking out while reading a novel.

He only hoped he didn't pass out right here, with his face drooping between the metal weave of the table.

"I'm sorry. You're really too kind." Eimi's gaze was concerned, but also proud, causing a twang in Ken's chest. There were three people who looked at him like that, like they could hardly believe their luck in having his love and friendship: Osamu, Daisuke, and Eimi. Ken didn't think of himself as particularly kind; in fact, he perceived himself as pessimistic and harsh, wrestling with negative thoughts that he struggled to keep to himself.

But when someone needed help, well, he tried to give it. He saw that as basic humanity, people being people. That was how folks survived, especially in poor communities like the one he and Eimi came from. Hard times could come for anyone, at any moment. Supporting one another and sharing resources was how everyone survived.

Ken nudged Eimi's hand, gently pushing that topic aside. "Nevermind me. How did it go with Koushiro-kun and the recording session?"

Eimi waved at someone behind him, and Ken turned to see Wallace approaching, bearing a tray of food. "Hey, Ken-kun," he called. When he reached their table, he flashed that winsome grin at Eimi. "There's our Eimi-chan. The café just isn't the same without your lovely voice. Are your sets starting back up now that things are calming down?"

Ken silently accepted his food- and found that Taichi added a coffee he hadn't requested. The ghost of a smile passed his lips as he sipped. He tried to focus on two things, and two things only: the sublime taste and the entertainment of watching Eimi deal with Wallace.

Wallace was a universal flirt, but more so with women (which Ken assumed was related to the odds of success). When Eimi first met Wallace, she had no idea how to respond to his teasing and flattery. She often avoided him, which had the regrettable (and predictable) effect of making Wallace try even harder. But these days…

Eimi offered a saccharine smile. "Oh, I'm sure you barely noticed. Too busy flirting with Meiko-san. And Miyako-san. And Mimi-chan-"

Wallace laughed, remorseless. "Can you blame me? I chose this job for the company, you know. And it's all the better if you're here."

Her expression warmed, becoming more genuine. "I missed all of you, too. And yes, my sets are back on. I hope you're on shift for the next one."

"Me, too. As much as I'd rather stay here, I have more orders to deliver. Enjoy the rest of your day, both of you."

Eimi's forehead furrowed with thinking lines. When Wallace was out of earshot, she said, "I'm baffled that I find him so charming."

Ken managed a huff of amusement. "It's because he means it- he thinks everyone is attractive." And by now, Ken had gleaned Wallace's favorite attributes among the staff, almost against his will. Eimi's stunning voice, Miyako's energy and beautiful hair, Hikari's calming aura, Meiko's endearing shyness, Mimi's vivacity, Taichi's athletic body and ride-or-die attitude, Daisuke's thicker build and muscles, Ken's tight butt.

He really wished he wasn't aware of that last one. Better days, those.

And, although Wallace hadn't teased him, Ken found himself ruffled, and desiring a change of subject. "The recording session?"

Eimi picked up half her sandwich, fussed with the angle, then put it down without eating. "The recording went well. Yamato-san and Mimi-chan were so kind. And…"

Ken considered prodding her along, but her dithering was a welcome chance for his brain to shut off. He waited, chewing a nutty bite of salad with all the alertness of a dazed cow. He barely knew what was in his mouth, let alone how it tasted.

Dully, as if from far off, he heard Eimi's fingers drum the metal table. "W-well… I agreed to talk to Koushiro-kun at his… At his house."

Incredibly, this managed to penetrate the muggy fog ensconcing his brain. "His house? You've never been there, have you?"

"N-no. I'm nervous, if I'm honest."

You don't say. Her face was a portrait of worry, with her crumpled brow, pursed lips, and overwrought eyes. Thoughts rushed to Ken's tongue, but he held them back. He was too tired to think, and a poorly considered word could cause devastation at such a crucial junction.

"You know I like Koushiro-kun," Ken quietly began. "He's been nothing but kind, that I've seen."

He made the mistake of meeting Eimi's gaze. The fear and raw emotion in her eyes dragged him back in time to when they worried where their next meal would come from. Here, enjoying expensive café fare for free in the heart of Nagano, those hungry days seemed far away.

But they weren't. They never were. That kind of need lingers in the body, in the mind, in the spirit.

Suddenly, Ken's hand was squeezing Eimi's, as it so often did back then. "I don't mean to discourage you. If things work out with Koushiro-kun… You'll be set for life."

Eimi's round, gentle face contorted. Perhaps her anger should have been disquieting, but Ken remained calm. He was glad that Eimi was comfortable enough with him to show temper, although he'd never elicit it without good reason, not on purpose.

"That's not why-"

"I know. I'd never suspect that of you." How could he? No one could grow up beside someone without developing an understanding of their character. Ken knew that Eimi looked at Koushiro with her heart in her eyes, talked to him with swelling emotion that sometimes made it difficult for her to speak. She orbited Koushiro because she couldn't resist the pull of her feelings for him, despite her active attempts to do just that.

She wanted him, not his rank and resources. Still, the realistic attitude that had either helped Ken survive this far or developed along the way suggested, "But the fact remains: his world is different than ours."

"I know." Eimi swallowed hard, staring at her untouched meal. "I've been trying to stay away for so long, but… At this point, all I'm doing is hurting him."

"And yourself," Ken gently added. "I've watched this eat you alive for almost a year."

Eimi cradled the glazed blue coffee mug with both hands, warming them. "I wanted to be strong enough to protect him." Her shoulders hunched, placing her face over the coffee, which she stared into like a scrying bowl. "But I'm wondering if, all along… What I needed was to be strong enough to accept him. To accept that he means what he says- that he loves me, despite everything. To accept that the measures he's taken really will prevent my stigma from harming him."

"What measures?" Frankly, Ken was of the opinion that Koushiro didn't understand the weight of Eimi's situation. It was tempting to blame him for that, especially since he seemed to believe that Eimi was simply being anxious. But then… Ken suspected that it was difficult for someone of Koushiro's station to grasp how Ken and Eimi grew up, even without her father's stigma further complicating things.

Eimi's fingertips tapped her mug as she hesitated. "Actually… It seems like Koushiro-kun, Sora-san, and His Highness spoke to your brother. Apparently, he helped Koushiro-kun understand my situation more? So now-"

Ken regretted his massive snort the second it slipped free. Eimi jerked upright, blinking. "Um?"

He cradled his forehead. "Ugh. Sorry. I just- How could Aniki-" The words wouldn't come; they were drowned by a primal frustration. Ken drew a slow breath. A tirade wouldn't help Eimi, and truthfully, he would take no happiness in speaking against his brother. "He… wasn't there."

Eimi placed her hand on his. "I'm sorry. I didn't think…"

Ken flipped his hand over to hold hers. "I wouldn't expect you to, with everything that's going on. What were you saying?"

She gazed at him, likely gauging if he really did want to move on. She judged correctly and took him at his word. "Koushiro-kun did a bunch of things, I can't remember it all. But apparently the Tachikawas can't fire him on the basis of someone else's reputation, and Sora-san set that up for me, too. And he said… If I lose my scholarship somehow, I can… I can live with…"

Color and a goofy grin spread over her face. Feeling a bit awkward, or at least overstimulated, Ken slid his hand free. "He's taking actionable steps."

"Right. And to me, that's more comforting than verbal reassurance."

"Of course." Ken appreciated kind words as much as anyone, but showing up and following through were far more valuable- especially to people with no safe place to land. "If he's listening and making changes… That's a good sign."

He scowled as a thought occurred. "But I can't fathom why he only took action when Aniki said something…" Or rather, he could- and didn't like the possible reasons. Was Eimi not worth listening to and believing? Or did Osamu's words hold more weight, since he was accomplished, sponsored by the royal family, and connected to the prince?

"I'm grateful," Eimi said gently- but the strain in her eyes hinted that she knew she was on shaky ground.

Ken tried to run his fingers through his hair, but it was tied back in a ponytail, which he half undid before catching his mistake. Sighing, he took down his hair and redid it, toying with the ribbon. "I am, too. Maybe it's just because Aniki is blunt and upfront. He probably said things that you were too nice to. That might have made all the difference."

"Ken…" Eimi took a deep pull from her mug and fussily placed it back on the saucer. "I don't like to pry, but… Are things okay with Osamu-san?"

Ken winced. Eimi picked up on his reluctance to discuss Osamu years ago, and she normally respected it. But of course she noticed him being foolishly touchy about it today. "I'm just seeing him more than usual, since the prince comes to the café so much."

"Is that… bad?" Once again, her warm hand closed around his. "You always seem to miss him."

To his horror, Ken's eyes began to sting. Reading his heart now wouldn't require a lifelong friendship, not with the liquid coating them. "It's just… He's only around more because of the prince. He never visited me before that."

"Ken…" Her fingers interlocked between his. "I'm sorry. Are you able to see him on campus?"

"He's busy there." Ken shoveled food into his mouth to stall the conversation, so he could work through his thoughts.

Osamu didn't excel at dealing with people, so Ken doubted he was making connections in the usual way on campus. However, the academic setting was a haven for him, a place where he truly belonged. His intelligence, logic, and skill in rhetoric and debate earned him friends and opened doors at Nagano University and the palace. The very same qualities that sometimes made him abrasive, like cutting issues down to their core logic and ignoring the more human elements, and his sheer drive to be correct, secured his position. He wouldn't always be secluded among people who thought like him and valued the same traits that were off-putting in other settings.

In short, Osamu's time on campus was precious, especially as he inched closer to ending his student career. When he ran into Ken there, he seemed happy to see him, and they sometimes shared brief chit chat. But often, he waved and continued talking to a fellow student, or simply walked by, too absorbed in academic conversation to even see Ken.

They cared for one another, but for so long, the gap in their abilities, in the way their parents treated them, and in the futures unfolding before them…

How far could the distance between them stretch before it snapped?

"I'm sorry." Eimi's gentle voice was like a tap on the shoulder. Ken startled, swallowed his food, and jerked his gaze to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

There were a great many unpleasant things that Ken would rather do. "We're here to talk about you and Koushiro-kun," he deflected. "You said you're going to his home?"

Eimi's stare took on a heavy, piercing quality. Ken waited, knowing that she was analyzing. "You want me to let it go," was her reluctant assessment.

Well, you don't have to call me on it. "I do," he substituted. "If you don't mind."

"Well… If you say so. Then… What do you think I should say when I go to Koushiro-kun's house?" Eimi flipped her hand in his, gripping it hard enough to redden his skin. Suddenly, Ken saw a much younger Eimi, asking how they could scrounge for food, or if she could spend the night with his family, away from hers.

"That depends." Ken managed a weary smile. "What do you want to say?"

"Can I ask you how you see things? Gently, but honestly." A valid request, sure, but an utter dodge of his question.

"Does it matter what I think?" Ken asked, knowing that it did. "It's your life."

Predictably, Eimi snorted. "It's far too late to disentangle our lives."

Which was true. In many ways, he and Eimi were more family than his parents, and even Osamu. Osamu, Ken knew, loved him more than he loved anyone else, and Ken loved him desperately in return, despite the many complications between them. But Eimi…

She was a comrade, the person beside him day by day back when Osamu was with tutors that cost more than his parents could spare if they hoped to feed themselves and Ken. Then, when their investments paid off, Osamu was sent to far off schools, sponsored by patrons drawn by his achievements. At that point, the remaining Ichijoujis could meet their basic needs again.

But Ken was still without his older brother.

Ken and Eimi scrounged and survived together, and while they lived separate lives with separate goals, Ken suspected they would always prioritize being present with one another, in whatever form they could.

He lifted his bowl of soup and poured broth into his mouth. It didn't fortify him much; he slumped against his chair when he finished. "I think you love him, and he loves you. I also think a lot of things stand in your way, and could go wrong."

Everything about her seemed to retract. "You, you think it's a bad idea?"

Somehow, Ken scrounged up a smile. "Things have stood in our way our whole lives. The most important thing is, are you willing to deal with the challenges that will come? Because if you stay where you are now- where you've been frozen for a year- Well… At this point, you're actively choosing to remain in that stalemate. If I were you, I'd be sick of it."

What he didn't say, as it would be the opposite of helpful, was that he was sick of seeing Eimi in that position. She didn't talk about it much, but he saw the worry on her, the way it bowed her back and trenched her brow.

Eimi's hands curled into fists. "I didn't choose my circumstances, nor Koushiro-kun's. But… I think you're right. We can't go on like this. I'm really scared, but… It's time to make a change."

"And you know what you want?" Ken prodded.

And, finally, she admitted, "Of course I do. I just… Like you said, it could go wrong."

"If you want to minimize that, I'd communicate what you're worried about upfront. There's a huge gap between our world and his. That doesn't mean you can't bridge it, but building that bridge… It will take work and communication from both sides. When are you seeing him?"

"Tonight."

And thank the gods for that. The sooner this talk happened, the better for everyone. "Alright. Do you want to brainstorm things that might be worth discussing?"

Ken had a hard enough time relating to Daisuke, who was born into a working class family that could afford educations for their children at Nagano University. As a semi-noble with inherited property and prestige, Koushiro was at a much higher social level than Daisuke. And, with her stigma, Eimi was below Ken's.

Ken was the pragmatic sort; he didn't believe that love was all anyone needed. Approaching relationships and future goals realistically was a must. And so, he helped Eimi plan, knowing that being prepared would calm her nerves and help ensure what was needed to be said was said.

Before too long, the nip in the air drove them home to the dorms, to Ken's immense relief. He required a word beyond exhaustion to describe his state. Despite his worry for Eimi and his desire to read, he was asleep minutes after settling in bed with a book.

Author's Notes: Setting up some new plot lines! We'll be seeing what's going on with Taichi and Hikari and Osamu and Ken before long. In the meantime, there will be two more chapters to wrap up the Koushiro/Eimi storyline, and then we'll see a lot of the cast together in one place, which I'm really looking forward to!

Thanks for reading, please do review 3 Big kiss!