Puits d'Amour

Arrangement

Eimi's eyelids pinched shut tighter as she drifted towards consciousness, as if to delay waking. She had never had such a refreshing night's sleep. The dorms were loud and busy, and when she was with her parents... Well. That was neither restful nor private.

But last night, the tension of living with family she couldn't trust or roommates assigned by the university was curiously absent. And why did she feel so lovely and warm?

Her body craved more delicious deep sleep, but curiosity won the day. Reluctantly, Eimi lifted a single eyelid. The world shifted in and out of focus as her eyes adjusted to morning light filtered through curtains.

When her vision resolved, she nearly jolted from half asleep to launched through the ceiling.

Koushiro's beloved face was relaxed in sleep, his mouth slightly open, his fluffy red hair ruffled in adorable disarray. Russet lashes curled against his thin cheeks, and there was that adorable splattering of freckles across his nose. Those were familiar, but the freckles on his bare shoulders...

Well, they were a delightful discovery.

The transition from asleep to wired suggested that Eimi had taken a face full of freezing water. The memory of last night inundated her with feelings and sensations. There was very little thinking after that kiss by the phonograph. Just a weightless free fall, wind howling in her ears, then the shock and distortion of plunging into water, a smudgy delirium in mind and body.

And now, she found herself waking beside what she loved most.

Everything felt more real by the light of day- solid, reliable, less like a dream that might vanish like smoke. Rational thought roused, suggesting that an illicit lover had to slip away in the night, before servants were privy to the coupling. To wake in full daylight beside Koushiro...

That was the privilege of a spouse- or a betrothed.

Tears burned her eyes. Eimi wished she could tell herself they sprang from joy, but her dominate emotion was overwhelmed. As tempting as it was to stay in bed, prolonging a beautiful and fragile moment, she couldn't be still. She rose and picked up the robe Koushiro offered her last night. It was luxurious and fluffy, in a deep green that suited his colorations. It smelled like him, as did the sheets, and the bedroom itself.

A shiver rippled over her as she tied the robe around her waist. She should be elated- she was elated- right? But surely... Surely, there had to be some mistake. And now, having loved Koushiro so intimately, how could she bear to part from him? True, being pulled under with him- by him?- was overpowering, and therefore daunting. But clearly, she trusted Koushiro enough to take that leap.

And that surrender, that release, was not without its… benefits.

Head swimming, heart pounding, Eimi fled to the bathroom connected to the master bedroom. She failed to absorb it last night, but the top level of the Izumi townhome featured a gorgeous suite: a large bedroom with a full bath and a dressing room that opened to a sitting room, which Koushiro seemed to treat as a second office. It was as stately and well-appointed as the rest of the townhouse, even if they had fucked all the decorum out of it.

The thought caused spastic giggles, and Eimi clapped both hands to her mouth and whirled towards the bed. Koushiro's thick brows pressed down, but his eyes remained shut. She exhaled with relief; she wasn't ready to face him. She saw to her needs in the bathroom, then descended the stairs. She was parched, but mostly, she had to flee the bedroom, and the terrifying promise it contained.

Eimi froze on the stairwell connecting the second floor to the first. Footsteps padded towards her, approaching from the back of the house. She seized the railing in a panic. Before she could push through her shock and call Koushiro, an old woman appeared in the hallway, wearing an apron smeared with flour. Her gray hair was in a wispy bun, and an enormous smile crinkled her face. She smelled of sausage and coffee.

There was nothing in Eimi's head but her pounding pulse. The old woman bowed, ignoring her stupefied gaze. In a lively, somewhat warbly voice, she said, "Good morning, Miss...?"

"Kana-san?"

Eimi leaped, and might have fallen if she wasn't gripping the railing. Koushiro stood a few steps up, wearing a gray robe and looking more asleep than awake. He patted Eimi's shoulder as he passed. Although it was likely rude, Eimi climbed two steps, moving as far away from Kana as she could while maintaining a line of sight.

Koushiro joined Kana in the first floor hallway. "Respectfully, what are you doing here? I gave you the day off."

Somehow, Kana's smile grew. "Oh dear, did you? It slipped this old woman's mind."

With Koushiro here, clearly handling this, Eimi calmed enough to think. This newfound cognition suggested that Kana was unlikely to have forgotten her holiday. Nothing about her suggested surprise- or contrition, for that matter.

Koushiro drew a deep breath. "I… see. Pardon us, but we're not fit for company. We'll be down soon."

"Take your time," Kana replied, still grinning. "I'm making pancakes, sausage, and coffee. There's fruit, as well. Do you like toast, miss? Biscuits?"

"Biscuits?" Eimi muttered, dazed. Like most Hakone residences, the apartment she grew up in lacked an oven. She knew what biscuits were, but what did they taste like?

"Biscuits it is! And did you come down for something, miss?"

"Um..." Despite the uncomfortable situation, Eimi couldn't help relaxing a touch when Kana smiled. Whatever was happening, it didn't seem like her intentions were bad. "I wanted water..."

"I'll get that," Koushiro replied. Taking the hint, Eimi turned and retreated to the master suite. She hovered in the bedroom, at a loss as to what to do with herself.

Koushiro returned with the promised glass of water. "I'm so sorry," he sighed as he handed it over. "I asked Kana-san not to come today."

Eimi's stomach performed a sickly somersault. "Was, was she here last night?"

Color burst across Koushiro's face. "No," was his emphatic response. "I saw her out before you arrived."

"Did she truly forget a day off?"

Koushiro's shoulders snapped up. "Ah... Well, I hate to say so, but I doubt it."

"Then why come?" Frankly, a holiday sounded incredible. It was Saturday, and Eimi had no classes, but she would perform at the café in a few hours for the lunch rush. And as always, there was coursework to tackle afterwards.

Koushiro seemed to flounder, like a stalling film reel at the theater. "Uh... Well, I don't often eat steak. Er- The meal last night, and the... The rest of the food..."

Eimi stepped back, then fumbled when her leg hit the bed. "There's more food?"

Koushiro sighed, rubbing his temples. "Um, I went a bit overboard preparing. I was hoping we could have dinner with friends tonight to handle the food."

"Dinner?" Eimi echoed. Why was Koushiro talking about food?! "What does last night's dinner have to do with Kana-san coming this morning?"

"Ah..." When Koushiro lowered his hand, his temples were splattered with red marks. "Well, naturally Kana-san asked why I wanted so much food, and I ended up telling her about you. I suspect that she came today... Well, to see you."

"Me?" Eimi squeaked. "I don't- why?" She never would have guessed that her heart rate could spike so much, each instance higher than the last. Had Kana somehow heard about the Anamis? Was Eimi already causing trouble for Koushiro?

Koushiro managed a sheepish smile. "Isn't that obvious? You're the next lady of the house- erm, assuming you... Well, it's natural for her to be curious, although I don't condone surprising us like this."

Eimi was intensely grateful that she hadn't tried to drink the water. If she had, it would be splashed across Koushiro's front. Her astonishment must have been obvious, because Koushiro added, "I'm truly sorry. I don't like being seen before I put myself together, either, and I doubt the surprise was welcome."

"Oh- um-" Eimi agreed, but that hardly seemed the issue. She was much more frazzled by the lady of the house bit. She glanced at the bed, still messy... on both sides. She always knew that Koushiro was serious about courting her. And yet...

Well, anyone could take a partner home for the night without it meaning much, if they were discrete.

At last, Eimi drank her water, wetting a painfully dry throat. She emptied half the glass before venturing, "Koushiro-kun... Is, is that really how you see me?"

"As my intended?" The tiny frown he sometimes wore when thinking creased his mouth. "Of course. Was that... not clear? Marriage is the goal of a suit."

Eimi's legs were wobbly- heck, all of her was- so she plopped onto the bed. "You, you'd truly... You'd marry me."

Koushiro sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "With your permission, of course." The teasing in his voice made Eimi risk a glance, and his warm smile caused a fluttering in her chest. "Although I must remind you that you haven't accepted a courtship."

"Oh!" The exclamation was involuntary, a squeak from the shuddering gears faltering in her brain. "I, I..."

"Let's get ready," Koushiro said gently. "We'll discuss it over breakfast... After I send Kana-san away for the rest of her day off." A tremor shivered over her when Koushiro kissed her cheek. "I'll wait in the sitting room while you change."

Eimi blinked. He already had an eyeful of her last night; why the modesty now? But then, she couldn't argue. A moment alone would do her good.

She exhaled when Koushiro left the bedroom. It felt like she had been holding her breath for hours. She stared about the room, a stately chamber featuring what looked like old, wooden furniture, high quality then, antique now.

A room that could be hers before long, should she choose.

Eimi swallowed the remainder of her water, then placed the empty cup on the nightstand. The clothing she wore last night was scattered about, left wherever it fell when... Well. She couldn't bring herself to finish the thought, nor to consider that she was obliged to put yesterday's outfit back on.

Eimi scurried to collect her things and dress, like a fretful little animal. Then she washed her face and ran Koushiro's comb through her hair. She was hardly at her freshest, but it would have to do. Then, she reclaimed her cup and moved to the third floor sitting room, where she waited while Koushiro made himself presentable, resisting the urge to poke around.

Her heart stumbled when Koushiro entered from the dressing room. He wore gray trousers with suspenders over an oversized, relaxed white shirt, with a few buttons undone. It was a casual mode of dress, by his standards, and something about that was... oddly intimate. A look that people outside of his household rarely saw.

Eimi stood as he approached and offered his hand. "Let's send off my curious cook and see about that breakfast."

Eimi slid her hand in his and took comfort in its warmth. "Alright."

Together, they descended the stairs and entered the kitchen, where Kana was stacking pancakes on plates. "There you young folks are," she said, grinning. "Koushiro-kun, the biscuits are in the oven. Take them out when this timer goes off."

"You made them that fast?" Initially, Eimi had misgivings about Kana reporting on her holiday, but the scents of food were easing them more than she cared to admit.

Kana's grin widened. "I was already making them, if I'm honest. Now, Koushiro-kun... Are you ever going to introduce your lovely miss?"

"You can't blame me for failing to," Koushiro replied, shaking his head. "You've caught us off guard."

Kana's only response was to wipe her hands on a towel and walk around the island, approaching them. She paused a step away and looked expectantly at Koushiro.

"Very well," he sighed, smiling. "Kana-san, this is Anami Eimi. Eimi, this is Takeda Kana. She's been cooking for the Izumis for years."

Kana extended a hand, and Eimi shook. "So lovely to meet you, dear. This may be presumptuous of me, but forgive an old woman. Be good to my Koushiro-kun. I've known him his whole life; he's a fine young man. And I've never seen him so worked up over anyone or anything, my dear."

"Oh, I..." What could Eimi hope to say to that? She glanced at Koushiro and found that he was rapidly coloring. "T-thank you. It's nice to meet you, Kana-san. And, um, thanks for breakfast."

"Yes, thank you," Koushiro echoed. "And please take some home."

Eimi blinked. That seemed rude, but Kana broke out in cackling laughter. "How unlike you, Koushiro-kun! Kicking me out! But we both know that I got what I came here for, so I'll let that slide. And I've already eaten my share."

Kana washed her hands, then said her farewells. When she was gone, Eimi murmured, "Was it okay to have her leave?"

Koushiro sighed. "She told me she would give us space. Shall we eat?"

They moved the plates, cups, and fixings from the counter to the kitchen table. Eimi watched Koushiro spread butter and syrup over his pancakes and tried not to look as overwhelmed as she felt.

"That was a bit much, but she cares about you," Eimi murmured. "That's... really nice."

"She does. I can't really be annoyed, somehow."

Eimi cut a piece of stacked pancake and popped it in her mouth. A second ago, food was the last thing on her mind. But when the sweet, fluffy morsel hit her tongue, her appetite roared to life. It was divine, all light and buttery and sweet.

Koushiro laughed, and Eimi tipped her head. "If I knew you liked pancakes so much, I would have taken you out for them."

"I've never had such good ones! Do you always eat like this?!" Eimi knew her answer as soon as she spoke. Koushiro typically consumed a third of what Iori did, and he preferred light, simple fare, at least in front of her.

His smile went rueful. "I'm afraid I often forget breakfast entirely, unless Kana-san sits me down by force."

"Force?" Eimi echoed. Koushiro was a petite man, but Kana was smaller still, and far older.

The very corner of his mouth nudged up. "Have you ever seen someone brandish a wok like a weapon?"

Eimi clapped a hand to her mouth to capture stray spittle as she snorted. "She takes her job seriously, huh?"

"As you can see." Koushiro gestured to the wide array of syrups, jams, and fruits on the table, along with a pitcher of orange juice and a full coffeepot. These were luxuries that Eimi rarely enjoyed, at least before enrolling in Nagano University, which reminded her of the uncomfortable questions she had to ask.

Although her stomach gurgled with hunger- she barely touched dinner last night- Eimi placed her knife and fork on her plate. "I know you have no objections to my family and financial situations. But..."

She gazed around the kitchen, unsure of how to continue. It was stocked with what seemed like state-of-the-art appliances, including western amenities like an oven, something she had never seen in a residence. The casual abundance should have been inviting, but it intimidated her.

Eimi stared at the golden flapjacks, unable to look anywhere else. "Are you sure I can adjust to this life? I don't know how to behave around nobles or how to run a household. I can't even dance at an event. If you have certain expectations for your spouse, I... I haven't been brought up to meet them."

She half expected Koushiro to be annoyed, or at least exasperated. How much dithering could a man offering his heart endure? And yet, now that the possibility of marrying him was a tenable reality, Eimi realized that disappointing him would be unbearable.

"You raise valid points."

Eimi met his eyes at last, mostly to confirm that she heard him correctly. She expected Koushiro to brush off her concerns- not due to a lack of respect, but because of the pains he had already taken to reassure her. He looked and sounded calm, even matter-of-fact. Weakly, she managed, "Oh?"

"Yes, and I appreciate that you made them. I don't know how matches are made in your province, but for nobles in Nagano, it's common for more senior family members to handle these discussions. In our case, I've spoken to my parents about expectations on their end, and I'll give them directly to you." His smile went sheepish. "Ah- I apologize if this seems cold or business-like. I don't view marriage as an exchange, but it is an agreement. A discussion of terms is prudent. I meant to open this conversation last night, but then-"

Red spread over Koushiro's face, but Eimi failed to notice. Her body heat seemed to drain, as if she had stepped into a frigid winter morning. "What- What did your parents say?"

He reached across the table, and Eimi slid her hand in his, desperate for comfort. It didn't occur to her that her visible distress over meeting the Izumi's standards made her intentions obvious, nor that the warmth in Koushiro's eyes hinted that he picked up on this.

"Relax," he murmured. "They mentioned the same things you did- that joining a noble household would be an adjustment for you. Are you willing to learn how to interact with nobility in a more formal setting? It would mostly involve studying names and history about noble families, along with etiquette and some social behaviors, such as dancing."

Which was daunting, but it was comforting to have these expectations laid out. "I'm nervous… But if you're willing to teach me, I'll do my best."

"Of course. My parents will assist, as well. My father is an ideal source for what it's like to marry into nobility."

"Oh!" Eimi grinned. At least she would have something to talk about with Izumi Masami, Koushiro's adoptive father.

"As for the intricacies of running a home, I'm still learning that from my parents. They'll help us both. And Kana-san and the rest of the townhome staff are wonderful resources."

"Okay." Suddenly, Eimi was winded. She knew nobles employed household staff, but seeing it in practice... Well, it was odd, and a smidge unsettling. But how would it feel to have people seeing to her needs and relying on her family for employment?

But Koushiro flashed a smile so doting, so contrasting with his typical calm and focus, that Eimi's worries faded. Her hand tightened around his as her face grew hot. This only seemed to charm him further- his voice took on a warm, affected timbre. "I object to one of your concerns, however. You certainly do know how to interact with nobles. Iori-kun and Sora-san care about you, and I- Well. You know how I feel."

Koushiro chose that moment to dive into his pancakes. Eimi smothered a giggle and ate, too, feeling suddenly buoyant. She savored a few sweet bites, then said, "Can I ask what you want in the future? Just to make sure..."

"That we want the same things?" Koushiro supplied. "Of course. This is the ideal moment for that."

"Okay." There was a piercing ting ting ting as she tapped her fork against her plate. Catching herself, Eimi sheepishly put it down. "Um... If we're going to continue..." Somehow, more heat rushed to her face. How could she possibly bring up last night? "Um, what would we do if I... Do you want a..."

"Ah." Koushiro seized his mug of coffee and downed the remainder, then poured another from the pot. Apparently, he was not adequately caffeinated to handle this question. He sipped the refreshed mug and cleared his throat in several inventive ways before responding. Eimi waited patiently. She apparently wasn't able to say the word 'baby,' so how could she blame him?

When he finally spoke, his words ran in a high-pitched, nasal string. Eimi was forced to lean closer and focus to decipher it. "Assuming you accept my suit, knowing that the end intention is marriage... Well. In some parts of the world, it was- perhaps is?- common practice for couples to, ah, to carry a child to term before they wed, to ensure that the match can produce offspring. As you can imagine, this custom is most common among nobility. A pregnancy wouldn't cause scandal so long as we announce our engagement with it."

Eimi nearly jumped out of her skin when an alarm went off. Standing abruptly, Koushiro said, "Ah, the biscuits-"

He hurried to the oven to retrieve them, waving away her offer to help. Eimi took the chance to eat, and to organize her thoughts. She intended to ease into the question delicately- as delicately as possible, anyway- but when Koushiro returned with a plate stacked high with biscuits, she blurted, "You, you want a child?"

Koushiro nudged the plate towards her, and Eimi obediently selected a hot biscuit. She joined him in fussily applying butter and jam. "We're so young," he began at last. "I admit that the prospect of fatherhood is foreign and frightening. But it's... An expectation for nobility, so that the line continues. And, admittedly..."

He met her gaze, colored, and looked away. "I apologize. I'm… not sure where to begin."

Eimi blinked. There were too many emotions at play; she had no idea what Koushiro was thinking. But it was clear that he was struggling, so she murmured, "Take your time."

A long interval passed with Koushiro's brow furrowed, his eyes downcast. "I've known that I was adopted for as long as I can remember; my parents explained early on. Never once have I felt like I don't belong, or like I don't have a family. And my adoptive parents still talk about my biological parents. I have their pictures, books, journals, even my late father's violin and my mother's piano. In a way, I have two sets of parents; there was no lack. But…"

When he finally met her gaze, a hand seemed to close around Eimi's heart and squeeze. Liquid glazed his dark eyes, and the corners were pink with inflammation. "For so long, I focused on my interests, my education, and my career. I tried to ignore… Certain issues with the extended Izumi family, and with my peers. But then- Then, there was you, and I- I realized I wanted- Wanted a partner. A child- a blood relative."

Eimi wanted to say something, anything that could comfort. Heart and mind raced, but try as she might, she couldn't quite parse what Koushiro was saying. Still, she believed she sensed the core of his pain.

"Koushiro-kun… Were you lonely?" Koushiro valued his time alone, so Eimi assumed that he was content with his parents, Iori, and his friends on campus and at work. The concept that he suffered with something so difficult for so long, something she didn't even know about… It caused an ache that seemed to leap from one organ to the next, prickling her eyes with tears, making her lungs shudder, her stomach turn.

"No." The answer was immediate, emphatic- and caused his face to blanch. "Pardon me- I was, yes. My parents are so good to me, but…" He held his hands out, palms up, and turned conflicted eyes to hers. "How can I explain? Where do I begin?"

"It's okay. Take your time." While she could never understand the advanced concepts Koushiro manipulated, Eimi had an idea of how his mind worked. "We'll start with the information, then organize and process from there."

A tear slid down his cheek as he smiled. "Thank you. If anyone can untangle my feelings, it's you." He drew a trembling breath and wiped his eyes with a napkin. "I shouldn't throw my problems on your shoulders, but… I also feel that you should understand this before you make your response to my offer."

Eimi pushed her plate aside and folded her arms on the table, leaning closer to him. "You want a partner, right? This is exactly what a partner does. I want to help you. And I want to understand you more."

When more tears bubbled over, Eimi lurched from her chair and scurried to Koushiro's side. "I'm sorry!"

He grabbed her hand; his skin was hot and clammy. "No," he whispered. "Please- please, sit." He pulled the chair beside his closer, until they touched. Eimi sank onto it, and Koushiro wrapped his arms around her. She froze, overwhelmed, overstimulated. But when his head landed on her shoulder, she nuzzled into him, reflexively answering his bid for comfort.

In a thick, wet voice, he said, "Thank you. I appreciate that more than you know. If I cry, please know that you've done nothing wrong. In fact, it's… It's quite the opposite."

"I think I understand," Eimi murmured, resting her head against his. "I'm feeling a lot, too."

"Mm." He seemed to hesitate, as if considering a response. Then, abruptly, Koushiro switched from feelings to facts, the more manageable subject.

"My mother's marriage to my father was accepted because his funds saved the Izumi family's assets. However… While the extended Izumis accepted his financial support, they weren't kind to the common born man. Hearing harsh words against him, and against their union, was… difficult."

And suddenly, Eimi was wrapped around him just as much as he was around her. She finally knew where this was going- straight down a terrible, familiar path that she had also walked.

"And when my mother failed to produce a biological heir and adopted a foreign baby… With every turn, she offended the Izumis, even as she did whatever she could to secure the family's assets and supply an heir. They didn't care that she loved her husband and son. They cared that she married down, socially. They cared that her heir wasn't related to them- and that he looked as foreign as his blood was."

Eimi's eyes filled with hot, stinging moisture. "Koushiro-kun," she whispered into his hair. "How- How could they be cruel to you?"

His huff of laughter was more defeated than amused. "You know how."

As usual, he was correct. Although her father, a soldier on a New Hope military base in Hakone, took her mother's last name when he married her, Eimi's mixed genetic background was obvious. She had no noble standards to live up to, but some common born people shared their enjoyment of insulting and shunning those they perceived as below them.

She didn't know what to say, but Koushiro filled the silence. "My parents asked me to tell them if anyone said anything hurtful about my background, and they distanced me from them whenever possible. But little could be done about my peers at school."

"I'm so sorry. I've never heard anyone say anything against you." And thank goodness for that. If she had, Eimi would have caused trouble with powerful families, which was even less desirable without a title to protect her.

"That's because my social situation improved when the Tachikawas hired me. Prestige mostly stems from lineage and resources, but accomplishments can garner it, too. So when…"

He trailed off, lifted his head from her shoulder, and cleared his throat. Eimi grinned and ruffled the hair he had flattened. "I'm not modest about you. So when you demonstrated that you're a leading technological mind-"

Color crept across his face. "You're exaggerating-"

Eimi raised her voice and continued, "When the king's advisers approached you, hoping to recruit you-"

"I still fail to understand what technological skill has to do with politics," Koushiro muttered, red from hair to chin.

"It was suddenly more difficult- and dangerous, even, if the king was interested in you- to insult your genetic heritage." Eimi's mouth snapped shut as the implication caught up to her. "Stars, that's… that's so ugly."

"It is. And it was." Koushiro nudged his plate aside and folded his hands on the table. "Iori-kun's friendship helped, too. The Hidas are lower nobility, like the Izumis, but their kendo mastery inspires respect, and they've maintained their… bloodline. And Iori-kun himself has always been physically capable, and…"

He tipped his fluffy head, considering. "Iori-kun inspires good behavior," Eimi supplied, grinning. Save for defense, Iori would never hurt someone. He wasn't frightening, not really. But he called out bullshit when he saw it, and his muscles and shinai served as reminders that he could, if necessary, reprimand with more than words.

Koushiro's grin eased her strained heart. "Just so. Whenever he was with me, which he often was, I was spared those comments. I was generally fine, but… People sense when they aren't wanted, or when they're being looked down on."

"Yes." So potent a truth, spoken so simply. All Eimi could do was acknowledge it.

"And that… That's why…" Koushiro's thin chest rose and fell with a deep sigh. "I can't say I always understood these feelings. In fact, I suspect I pushed them down for most of my life. But then- Then there was you. And I realized…"

Koushiro held her gaze with focused, almost piercing eyes. Eimi smiled reflexively, comforted by that familiar expression. Crisp and matter-of-fact, he began, "You said that you've been dreading what my connection to you might cost me. Perhaps you've also considered that you can't reciprocate the benefits of marrying me: the material security and the rise in social station."

Eimi flinched, and was suddenly staring at the table. "I have wondered what… You could possibly see in me. What I could ever give you in return."

Gently, Koushiro cupped her cheek and turned her face back to his. "What I want- what I need- is to feel as though I belong. To feel that I'm wanted and loved for who I am, not… tolerated because of my skills, or because of the crown's interest in me." His smile was tender, but trembling, and that wet glaze returned to his eyes. "Your warmth, your devotion. The way your face lights up when you see me. Please don't misunderstand; I love you for far more than the way you treat me. But what you give me… It's exactly what I need."

Eimi gaped, unable to respond. As the seconds ticked by, Koushiro grew twitchy, and his hands began to wring. "And that's why I hate this… Negotiation of marriage terms. What I stand to gain from our union far outstrips my rank and resources. Ah- Not to be, ah, presumptuous about your, um, the way you feel about…"

"You're not." Heat trickled down Eimi's cheeks, but she failed to recognize that she was crying. "You have my love. You have for years."

Perhaps this moment should have been romantic, but Eimi and Koushiro simply stared at one another, mutually dumbfounded. When that tension cracked, Eimi found herself grinning, feeling utterly brainless- but indescribably, incandescently relieved. "Stars, it feels good to say that!"

And suddenly, Koushiro's hand was a vice around hers. "Eimi-"

It seemed as though he wanted to continue, and Eimi could guess his intent. "Before you mention your suit, there's… There's one more thing I'm worried about. Our children would be mixed. We can't spare them from what we've been through. If you married a noblewoman from Hakone…"

Curiously, her voice abandoned her. After avoiding Koushiro's suit for a year, Eimi couldn't bear to mention the possibility that he might choose someone else. Her hypocrisy made her skin crawl, yet still, she was mute.

"Then my children would still be mixed," Koushiro finished. "The best gift I could hope to give them is you as their mother. And anyone who would be offended by my marriage to you was already offended by my mother's marriage to my father. Frankly, I welcome them to be as affronted as they choose- far away from us."

Koushiro's expression shifted from determined to resigned. "Realistically, we have to go among the nobility on occasion, which is why there will be a learning curve for you. But for the majority of time…"

He eased his grip on her hand and lifted it to his lips, and the eye contact he made over her knuckles caused a pulse of heat. "I want to focus on my family, and I want to make that family grow. I do worry about my skill as a parent; it doesn't seem like a role I'm naturally suited to. But we have my parents and resources to lean on. We'll learn, and we'll be alright."

If last night felt like being underwater, then this felt like her brain falling into abrupt darkness, like flipping a switch or losing power. Eimi had never considered having a child. How could she? She gave up on the idea of marriage after her father's scandal, and even if she hadn't... How could she feed and house a child when she couldn't feed and house herself?

And suddenly, a door cracked open, a beautiful opportunity... And emotions flooded through. There were biscuits to try and questions to ask, but Eimi wanted to drag Koushiro upstairs. She resisted the urge to fan herself. Maybe it was better not to have ovens in houses, after all. It was far too hot.

Thankfully, Koushiro didn't seem to notice her fumbling over his own. "So, um… As far as housing, we'd live here, although my parents and Iori-kun have rooms on the second floor that they are welcome to. I intend to continue my career with the Tachikawas. You're free to pursue education, a career, or to focus on our home and our children. So, ah, the Izumi expectations are children and training for occasional contact with nobility. Are those terms acceptable? Do you have any of your own?"

"Koushiro-kun..." Eimi heard a drumming sound and glanced at her hands, which rhythmically tapped the table. With effort, she forced them to still. "What more could I ask of you? I mean… Have you thought about what my life would look like after graduation if..."

"If I didn't ask for your hand?" Koushiro held her gaze as he lifted said hand for another kiss. "I have. I was terrified that, if we remained in our stalemate, you would have to leave Nagano after you graduate, and I… I would never see you again."

"Like you said earlier, I'd need your resources to stay here without my scholarship."

"We've been over this. If you wanted to marry me for security, we would have been betrothed a year ago. And I've never worried about where you came from. I'm far more concerned about where you'll go. With me, I hope, if you'll have me."

Eimi felt her shoulders shaking. By now, the subject was thoroughly explored; even she couldn't conceive of another objection, another reason for pause. Weakly, she said, "You really won't be discouraged, will you?"

"I believe I've said as much. Besides," Koushiro said, grinning, "after last night, it would be unjust to make a dishonest man of me."

Something snapped inside of Eimi; she found herself bent forward with laughter. "Oh! Shouldn't I be saying that? You're the one who asked me to skip steps!"

Koushiro placed a hand over his heart, suggesting that he was wounded- a gesture belied by his grin. "But I'm rectifying that by offering my hand! You're the one dithering over accepting it!"

Frustration overwhelmed Eimi, nearly choking her. Somehow, she found herself nearly shrieking at a man offering her his heart. "I'm not dithering!"

Koushiro's playful smile froze, clashing with the confusion in his eyes. Eimi slapped a hand to her mouth as burning tears trickled free. "I, I'm so sorry. I just- I've been so scared of hurting you for so, so long. I'm not… pushing away because I want to, or to tease you."

"Yes," Koushiro murmured. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to make light of what you've been through." He extended an arm, and Eimi released a breath and huddled into his side. "Please know when I say this that my aim isn't to hurt you; it's simply to communicate my needs."

"Mm." Sighing, Eimi shut her eyes and focused on sensory input: the scent and warmth of his body, the tickly feeling of curly hair against her cheek. Anything else was just too stimulating.

Koushiro's voice was a soft murmur, his hand a reassuring weight on her shoulder. "Of all the possible outcomes of our situation, losing you is the one I fear most. My reputation with Hakone's nobility is already strained, simply by my background, so I don't fear losing face with them. And whatever happens, I won't lose my parents, Iori-kun, or my employment. That's all I need- that, and you."

Eimi's mind was nothing but a hollow ring. The last few days contained far too much thinking, feeling, and fretting. Every trail of thought was dented by her footprints, worn by her uneasy wandering. Her agonized journey led her right back to where she began, to the conclusion she circled, but never wandered far from.

She wanted, more than she had wanted anything else, to accept Koushiro's hand, to return the love freely offered. And, by his own admission, the most cruel thing she could do to him was withhold agreement.

Her eyes popped open. Could it really be so damned simple, after all of this? In a tone suggesting bemusement, or perhaps a recent head injury, she managed, "Then… Then all I can say is yes."

They were already huddled together, but Koushiro somehow smushed her further into him, enclosing her in his arms. Eimi closed her eyes and sank into his support, hiding her face in his neck. "Eimi," he whispered near her ear. "Truly?"

It was a valid question. As she understood it, people usually smiled when they accepted a suit, and here she was, sobbing into his neck and shoulder. But the release of tension within her, the sudden abandonment of the restraint that had slowly eroded her hopes for happiness, was a dramatic, disorienting shift. She clung to Koushiro, the only stable and safe thing in the world, the quiet eye in a roaring storm of emotion.

"I, I love you," she gasped, the only thing she knew. "Koushiro- Gods- I love, love you."

"Eimi..." She shuddered as his fingers slid through her hair, sending tingles over her scalp. "I- Me too. That is to say- Let's take care of one another."

Eimi's uh-huh was likely indistinguishable from her bawling, but Koushiro kissed her forehead, regardless. She tried to apologize- this was not how this sort of thing was meant to unfold- but he gently hushed her.

"It's alright. I'm here." He released a breath that sounded like a dazed laugh. "From now on, I'm here."

A wave of raw feeling smashed into her, and she clung to Koushiro, desperate for respite. And suddenly, the motivation for her crying fit was clear.

Her body understood before the rest of her that she was finally, finally safe, finally home.

Author's Note:

And that's the end of Koushiro and Eimi's mini arc! Next time, Koushiro and Eimi will invite Yamato to a party celebrating their getting together! Poor Yamato will find himself thrown headfirst into his first informal social gathering since returning to Hakone, where he meets new people and learns about new problems…

It will be a few weeks before I update Puits d'Amour again. I'll be updating some different fics for a while- you can check the schedule out here. If I had to guess, you'll see more PdA around June! Please take care, big kiss! And remember to review.