(A/N: Sorry, forgot to upload. Admittedly, my motivation for updating on this site at all is waning, but it's where I started. I'll try to push through regardless. Still, always happy to hear, like. Literally anything at this point.)
"When you are alone
You are the cat, you are the phone
You are an animal"
—"Don't Let's Start" from They Might Be Giants by They Might Be Giants
It wasn't going well for Max.
She'd nearly died a couple days ago, and her body was eager to let her know that. Standing too quick was always bad for her, but she'd barely been able to do it without falling right back down from dizziness lately. That usually happened when she got tired, though.
The much more novel frustration, though, was the many, many injuries that waited around for her. They'd mostly healed. Mostly. It left her sore everywhere rather than hurting, which was nice at least.
They gave little, harsh reminders as she tried her best to go about her day. The most persistent reminder was also the most upsetting. That slash at her neck that should've killed her wasn't ever going to heal completely. The fur had yet to grow back entirely, yet, so she was glad she had a scarf to cover the developing scar.
Scar. She could still see her old face. It hadn't exactly been covered in them, but she'd been doing a lot better this time. Her luck might have been running out, then. It nearly had, in fact.
All of this was nothing compared to the issue facing her, now, as she watched everyone eat around her.
She wasn't hungry. She knew she was full, but the scent of everyone eating around her made her desperate to ask for some more. Everyone got about the same amount of food, that wasn't why her plate was empty while everyone else had barely touched their food. She'd just eaten it up before they had a chance. At least she'd started using utensils again.
Forest, forest around them. Maybe, if she focused on that instead, she'd make it through. It was a nice day, after all. So far, this summer had been very soft, the most intense heats reluctant to come. She kinda hated any amount of heat in the weather, but it wasn't as bad as it could be, and this wasn't helping her keep her mind off everyone's food at all.
"Hey, Max?" Codi asked. Max hadn't noticed she was there, but the sudden appearance didn't startle her. "Wanna be somewhere else for a bit?" Max glanced up with a wounded smile, but quickly looked back down. It was a solid point born from her own waning self-control.
It was such a sweet, simple little offer that would help a ton. Unfortunately, to take it required Max to admit that, yes, she could use a little help.
She wasn't good at that.
Codi gave a comforting pat on her back. When Max looked up to see her smiling, it made it hurt a little less. At least she had Codi, now. If the universe had heard her wishes to see Cori again, this was almost perfect. Bizarre, confusing, and a bit unsettling, but almost perfect. Codi's presence had certainly made the last couple days a lot more bearable.
Max reluctantly nodded her head. As she got up, the 'almost' part of that perfect reared its head again (along with several spots in her vision begging her not to stand up so fast).
"H-here!" Ithos said. He clanked his plate down on the log he'd been using for a seat and scrambled over to her. "Go ahead and eat, Codi." When he made it over, he practically yanked Max away by the shoulder. Max pulled back with a whine and rubbed her shoulder. "S-sorry!"
"It's fine," Max said. She tried to smile up at Ithos but faltered when he gave her the same smile he'd given since her blackout in Lively Town. She managed to keep her smile half up at the expense of her ears and tail flagging.
"Hey," Codi said, giving Max a firm pat to the shoulder. Max felt a breath of fresh air when she turned to see Codi's smile, reserved and a bit nervous, but genuine. "See ya, all right?"
"Yeah," Max said. She felt bad leaving Codi with only Ash for company, but Ithos had already grabbed her paw in his own. She took a deep breath and let him drag her away (still trying to ignore the lingering dizziness of standing). The whole time, he kept that smile on with his eyes straight ahead. For all the time he'd spent helping her open up, he could really learn his own lesson.
Max knew something happened in Lively Town (besides her almost dying, but she didn't like thinking about that). Everyone knew something happened, but everyone else knew what happened. Max, however, remained entirely in the dark. It obviously had to do with her black out, but Ithos refused to tell her what happened.
Then, because today wasn't bad enough, Max felt the beginnings of a cramp.
"Kachuuuu," Max growled. She put a paw to her belly and started yanking Ithos back, but he'd already let go. He knelt right in front of her with his paws on her shoulders.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you all right?" Ithos asked, eyes bleeding concern. Max forced herself not to deflate in his hold. She'd only slipped because she didn't really know which swear she wanted, and that was easier than deciding.
"I'm okay," Max said. She very gently pulled out of his hold. He barely acquiesced, but lunged for her paw when she started to turn around. "I need my bag, Ithos!"
"Got it, be right back!" Ithos said. He smiled for a nanosecond and dashed off. He probably thought he was being helpful, but Max felt like he didn't trust her around food at all. Asking for help already made her feel useless, so his pathological need to do anything and everything possible for her at the drop of a hat made her feel so, so much worse.
She found the nearest tree and flopped against it with a touch too much enthusiasm. The light crack of her head thudding against the tree wasn't so bad, though, since it took her mind off the building cramp in her gut.
Maybe Ithos was right, though. Even this far away, she could feel that intoxicating scent burning her nose. At least they'd explained this part to her, but it was its own frustration. The food wasn't as potent as a Dungeon Lotus, but it was definitely strong enough to catch her in a moment of weakness.
Now that it had, she had to deal with the typical fallout of a blackout.
Her tail ripped through a chunk of bark in frustration. It was the perfect plan. Fara had spread food laced with poison all throughout the continent, then pounced on the health scare's opportunity to strike fear into the hearts of many.
Max thought about their first meeting. Fara had looked ready to pounce on her like prey. Now, Max knew why, and there was nothing she could do about it. It might've been the worst part of this all.
Fara got the idea from her. That fact alone made her more sick than even the cramps trying to wring her insides dry. The whole of this suffering would have never happened without her. It might not have even happened with her if she'd just kept herself under control, but she hadn't, because she couldn't. Now, she couldn't even eat with her friends because of it, either.
"GOT IT!" Ithos barked from the neighboring solar system. He was probably still closer to Ash and Codi than her. Max had to wonder how he'd already healed enough not to pass out from running, since she could make out the violent bobbing of his blazing tail-flame as he ran towards her at a breakneck pace.
Breakneck became a serious concern, too, when he clipped his paw on a branch on the last stretch. Max gave an empathetic wince when he flew through the air and crashed into the ground. Leaves, grass, twigs and dirt all joined him in his journey as he skid along the forest floor. With cheeks redder than hers, he thumped into the tree she sat against.
"Here ya go," Ithos said. He held her bag out to her. Max took it.
"Thanks," Max said. She wanted to laugh. It should've been funny, but it was infuriating. Maybe it was funny, even, but her self-destructing uterus made it hard to find the humor. She pulled out the ibuprofen and downed two. May as well head it off at the pass.
"So, are you okay? What'd you need?" Ithos asked. He hopped up without even thinking to check if he'd hurt himself and immediately towered over her. Max flinched, and his eyes shot open in horror. "R-right, sorry!" He threw his paws up and scrambled back to give her space. "Are you all right? Is that enough room?" He was looking at her eyes. Watching. Max wanted to scream.
Was he afraid of her?
Max pulled her tail to her chest and squeezed it tight. After a quick hug, she pulled it just a bit up to stuff her muzzle behind it. She wanted to hide her eyes, but she might scare him off if she did. "Did I hurt you?" she whimpered.
"What? No!" Ithos said. "The trip was my fault, it's all right!" He forced his lips into a wide smile with panic in his eyes. "I'm a-okay!"
Max pulled her tail up to drag it from her forehead to her chin. "Lively Town," she said. She closed her eyes to roll them so he wouldn't see, then looked at him, trying to hold back her glare. His look all but confirmed it for her, but she asked anyway. "When I blacked out. I attacked you, didn't I?"
"O-oh, then?" Ithos stammered, eyes shooting away from Max's. "You didn't do anything!" How was he worse at lying than her?
How bad did she hurt him that he wouldn't tell her?
"Please," Max whimpered. She buried her eyes behind her tail while they started to burn. A light drizzle of tears came to heat them further. It was all happening again. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop herself. This time, she didn't even get to know what she'd done. "What did I do?"
Ithos reached a paw out to her, but quickly drew it back. He had to know she could feel him without looking, but his attention went to the paw itself. He looked away to scratch the back of his neck with a deep sigh. He started to sit next to her, but she stiffened. Without saying a word, he drifted to the side of the tree he'd crash landed into.
"You didn't do anything," Ithos said. Max grit her teeth. "I mean it, all right?" He crossed his arms and rested the back of his head against the tree bark, closing his eyes. "It's not your fault."
"Then why won't you tell me what happened?" Max spat. A cramp came to help her hurt turn to frustration. "If I didn't do anything, you wouldn't turn away when I look at you. You wouldn't be terrified to let me out of your sight." She turned to face him. He turned further away. "Just tell me."
Ithos grit his teeth. His tail-flame barely crackled with intermittent flares bursting to life before fizzling to nothing while he looked for the words. "It's not fair," he whispered. "It's not your fault."
"What isn't?!" Max barked. She couldn't handle one more non-answer.
Ithos flinched at her scream, but not away. It seemed more like he cringed from the volume, but Max didn't know if she could believe that. After a deep breath, he let his shoulders drop and turned his head toward her. He wasn't ready to face her, but it was closer. "You were afraid of me," he whispered, his voice crackling more than his tail-flame.
"Ithos," Max sighed, barely suppressing a growl. She needed to be soft for the moment, but anger lingered like hot coals on a warm day. "It's just instincts, all right?" She shuffled over and put a paw on his shoulder, giving it a light rub. "I run away from anything with teeth when I'm like that."
"Except for Codi," Ithos grumbled. The moment the words left his lips, he clenched his eyes shut and pulled his paws into fists. His paws flew up to his face, shooting open just in time to slap instead of punch him, and he dragged them down his face. He shook his head as they fell, scales grinding against scales, and rested his face in them when they reached the bottom. "Not fair."
"Ithos, what?" Max asked. "Of course I'm afraid of her." Ithos peeked out with one eye, silencing her with one hurt glare. That, evidently, isn't true to his experience. She looked away for a moment to find what to say before opting for a silent approach first. She swallowed a wince at the next cramp and scooted over to him. She tried to reach her arm up to wrap around his shoulders, but they were too high.
Ithos pulled her in with an arm, letting her wrap both arms around his side. He glanced at her as she did, still too hurt for words, too ashamed to say what hurt. Max leaned in and squeezed him. He'd tell her eventually, she knew that, but right now, he needed reassurance. "I love you, Ithos," she said.
"I love you, too," Ithos said. He gave a mechanical nod, but his voice trembled in melancholic longing. He could say it, but he couldn't convince himself. It sounded more similar to a confession of failure than a confession of love.
Max rubbed his scales with her paws. She pressed her cheek against his scales, letting out a few sparks from the pressure. After a while, he started petting at her with the arm he'd wrapped around her. She kept hugging him, and he slowly started to relax in her hold. "What made you think I wasn't afraid of Codi?" she asked, wishing she had any slivers of memory to go off.
"When we found you two," Ithos said. "We saw Codi's tags and just assumed she was after you." Max nodded along. They'd already told her that much, and she could almost remember seeing Ash fly through the air. "Then, you started fighting us to protect her."
"I what?" Max asked. That was new. Then again, she'd always had some people she was more comfortable around than others when it came to her instincts. "I'm sorry."
Ithos weakly smiled down at her. "Thanks," he said. There was more behind his eyes. She must've done more after she blacked out again. She glanced away, a pit of guilt in her stomach, but made sure to keep a tight hold on him. "You played with her." Max flicked an ear up, cheeks sparking in mixed embarrassment and surprise.
"When you looked at her," Ithos said, hiding a whimper behind his words. "You looked happy, like you were excited to see her." His tail flickered and dimmed as he shrank into himself. "When you looked at me." He took a breath before he let his voice crack. Max gave him a comforting squeeze. It seemed to give him strength, even while his eyes filled with a memory too painful to forget. "You were afraid."
He shook his head and brought his left paw up to wipe the tears before they sizzled away. "This is what I meant," he said. He glanced down at her, and a few tears trickled down the front of his snout. "I know it isn't you." He shook his head and looked away to wipe more tears. "It's not fair to you."
He looked down at her again. Regardless of her expression, Max could tell he saw her glaring up at him like terrified prey. His lips trembled as they pulled from each other, too miserable to touch themselves until he finally looked away again.
"I need to be there for you when this happens," he whimpered. The affirmation rang hollow even to him as he said it. "You need friends who help you through it. You don't need to worry about something you can't control." He pulled his eyes out of his paws to stare off at the distance. "B-but." Max pressed her cheek against him. "Why do you love a stranger more than me?"
His thin defenses fell to pieces with his composure, and he collapsed into sobs. Max rushed to wrap around his chest, and he squeezed her into it. The sting of sulfur burnt her nose, but she squeezed him tighter so he could let the tears flow, trying to keep her own whimpers out of the spotlight.
"I'm sorry," Max said. Ithos shook his head at it, but he was crying too hard to voice his objection. "I don't love Codi more than you." She used to have trouble believing he didn't really have friends before her. Now, she believed him without question. Friends are terrifying when you don't think you're good enough to have them. No matter how long they hold you in their arms, all it takes is a glance for you to remember how it feels to be alone.
She would know.
"I love you," Max said, squeezing him before he could reciprocate. "Maybe it's not fair to me." She tilted her head up to stare into his eyes. "But it's not fair to you, either." Her own tears had soaked her cheeks, but the heat of his chest made quick work of them.
"I still hurt you," she said. She ran her paws down his sides, gently digging her claws into his scales where necessary. "Even if it wasn't me, it doesn't soften the blow, does it?" Based on the sob he let out, she knew she was right. "I don't care if it's my fault. If I hurt you, I want you to tell me." She shook her head against his scales as he squeezed her. "I care about how you feel. Whether or not you should, you do. That matters."
A little whine churred its way out of Ithos' throat as he squeezed her, shaking his head. "What did I do to deserve you?" he whispered.
Max had to laugh. A few tears came out with it since laughter always fits perfectly with sobs. He'd meant the world to her for longer than he knew her. He was more to her than even she knew. He was the void that, for so long, left empty until its warmth, through the impossibility of chance, returned. She could only think of one answer to give him: "Everything."
Perhaps it was too trite, but it was sincere. That mattered more.
They held each other tighter without any more words for a while. It remained silent, save their sobs of shared relief. With the infection lanced, it needed time to drain so healthy flesh could take its rightful place. When the flow fully ebbed, they shared a sigh. Max rested her head on his shoulder; he rested his on hers.
"Thank you," Ithos whispered. Max voiced an ecstatic squeak, too exhausted to think of what to say. Too soon, he started pawing at the back of her neck, gently coaxing her head up to support its own weight. "Still, I'm curious." When she reluctantly pulled back far enough to see him, his smirk made her regret her acquiescence. "Your first impulse meeting someone is always to hate them. What's the deal with Codi?"
"Chuuuu," Max groaned. Ithos let her turn away while gently refusing to let her retreat back to the crook of his neck. "Well, I'm trying to get over that, y'know? It's really not healthy." She didn't even try to make the lie convincing, barely willing to put air into the effort.
"Aw, sweetie," Ithos cooed. His paw traced down her side to squeeze some of the extra pudge there. "You'd never let what other people think is healthy stop you being yourself."
Max pulled one paw up to open-palm smack his shoulder, eternally grateful for the increased durability of pokémon. If she hit a human partner this much, it would border on abuse. As long as it wasn't a move, though, all it did was sting. It probably helped that beating the shit out of each other was, by most, considered a completely normal pass time.
After a performative rub to the barely affected area, Ithos returned his paw to her fur. He lightly drummed on her back to remind her she had a question to answer before returning to petting her. He really didn't deserve the answer after that, but he did pay lip service to the fact it was an assumed indicator of health rather than a real one.
It was a low bar, but he was her boyfriend, after all. Girlfriends are meant to lower their standards for the boys they like.
… she probably needed some kind of feminine role model.
"An old friend," Max reluctantly answered. She took a deep breath and trilled her lips as it came out. "I used to know a totodile, and Codi looks almost exactly like them." She really hoped that wasn't prejudiced to say, but she never thought any of the three charmander she knew looked the same like Codi and Cori did.
"Oh," Ithos said. He let out a breath, equal parts relief and weariness. "She's not even a stranger to you." He rested his head on the bark behind him with a frustrated smile. "You must've known that other totodile even longer than me, then."
"Well," Max mumbled. That would probably be the easy answer. She honestly wished she could give it instead. Alas. "No."
Ithos deflated with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Max could see the genuine disappointment, but she let him get away with it for now. She could already tell he wasn't going to enjoy the final piece of this puzzle. "Well then WHY would you trust this totodile more than me?" he asked. Suddenly, a thought struck him. Max didn't like the chuckles he was holding back. "Don't tell me you're cheating on them with me."
"N-no," Max said without a stutter because the fact she wasn't dating Cori wasn't inexplicably disappointing. It was because of Eleos, obviously, since they were. Well. It's not like it said it wanted to break up, so they were on a break at worst.
Grovyle was right. This time travel business really does make a love life complicated.
"Got it," Ithos said with a nod. Max could already hear the chuckle at the edge of his tone. He probably wasn't even trying to hold it back. "You just wish you were dating them."
"I," Max said, "am dating you, got it?" She jabbed a nubbin into his chest to glare up at him. "And you will shut up if you'd like to keep it that way." Ithos screwed one eye shut while raising a brow more exaggerated than even Eleos could manage as he tapped his chin before, eventually, nodding. "Asshole."
"What can I say?" Ithos said. He splayed both of his arms out with a shrug before putting both paws behind his head to rest against. "You can get away with a lot when you're as attractive as me. Of course," he peeked one eye open to look down at her as he grinned, "you know all about that, don't you?" His beak twitched with pride at the impossible feat of having simultaneously complimented himself and her.
"Ass-" Max said, jabbing his chest with a nubbin again, "-hole." Ithos threw his arms around her and yanked her into a hug. Max squeaked, "PI!" in panic before humming in pleasure. Finally, after what had to be upwards of three minutes, she got to bury her nose in his scent again.
She was glad they'd roughed it last night, now, since it meant he hadn't had a chance to bathe yet. She took a deep breath in while she could. She considered risking a cheeky lick before feeling him stir a bit.
"S-so," Ithos mumbled. He'd already let plenty of the weight off thanks to her, but his worry still hung over his head. She got the sense his little attempt at humor had secretly been an attempt at brushing past his feelings on this that hadn't work. "Well, why are you more comfortable with her than me, then?"
"I'm not sure," Max said, which was mostly true. She let out a long sigh, though, since she had a very unsatisfying suspicion. "But I have a theory." She sighed again. "Ithos." Conventional wisdom assumed that stating the obvious the know-it-all had missed would be cathartic, but this was anything but. She pulled away to look up with an apologetic smile. "Fire."
Ithos blinked. "Fire?" he asked with a shrug. "What about it?"
Max almost chuckled, but a cramp blessed her with the pain to supplement her restraint. For someone as clever as him, he had an intoxicating stupidity to him that made her chest burn with need. "For most animals, there is a very simple instinct," she explained. "Fire scary."
Ithos stared at her for a moment. The confusion remained on his face, though the sudden hollowness to his eyes suggested he just hadn't found his next emotion yet. He left Max in suspense of what it could be by bringing his paws to cover his face. He let a guttural groan out that rumbled his chest hard enough that Max could feel it in her legs (a feeling she'd enjoy, if not for the cramps and circumstance).
"I'm stupid, aren't I?" Ithos asked.
"Oh, my lovely inferno," Max cooed. She wrapped her arms around his head to comfort him as he shook it. "Of course you are, but don't worry." She leaned down and to the side to stare straight into his right eye. "Someone as attractive as you can get away with it."
"No one in the world
Ever gets what they want
And that is beautiful
Everybody dies
Frustrated and Sad
And that is beautiful"
Ash looked at Codi while he ate.
Codi looked at Ash while she ate.
Ash nodded to acknowledge their shared eye contact while they ate.
Codi nodded to acknowledge their shared eye contact while they ate.
Ash opened his mouth in an attempt to start a discussion before hastily shoving something into his mouth as if that had been why he'd opened it in the first place.
Codi covered her maw with her arm to stop herself laughing at that failed attempt. He'd failed in his intended goal, but it broke the ice enough that Codi could finish the job. "So," Codi chuckled. "What's your deal?"
"Uh," Ash said, not seeming to notice he had food in that mouth as he spoke. "Cyndaquil?"
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Codi dispassionately hummed. She rolled her eyes as she forked another chunk of potato into her maw. 'Hashbrowns' weren't a kind of breakfast food she knew about, but she definitely understood the appeal.
"Yeah, well, y'know," Ash continued. A bit of his nerves fell away as he laughed at himself. "I try to keep it on the down low, obviously." He shrugged and gave an egotistical nod. "Not the kind of thing you can have just anyone knowing. One of those things you only share with the closest of friends."
"Absolutely," Codi said. She gave an emphatic nod as she chewed through another bit of breakfast. "The kind of thing you'd only tell someone you've known for, oh, I don't know," she looked to the sky in thought before nodding with a shrug, "at least a couple days."
Ash looked at Codi while he tried not to laugh.
Codi looked at Ash while she tried not to laugh.
Ash put his plate down as he realized he was about to fail in this endeavor.
Codi put her plate down as she realized she was about to fail in this endeavor.
In almost rehearsed unison, they put their paws to their bellies and collapsed into shared chuckles. Codi covered her mouth in respect while Ash rolled his eyes. Both relaxed considerably as the laughs abated before sharing a glance, laughing some more, then getting back to eating.
"All right, what is it?" Codi asked. She suspected she was going to regret this, but he didn't seem malicious.
Before she could clarify, Ithos barreled towards the campsite like a zubat out of distortion, making both Ash and Codi jump away in surprise. He didn't seem to notice them or the stone right beneath him as he slammed his paw into it, sending himself tumbling forward. Rather than get control of himself, though, he merely redirected his hopeless tumble until the self-made grassmander wrapped himself around Max's bag.
As far as either of them could tell, he didn't get up before he shot away, back into the forest. For all they knew, he was about to rollout through the forest until he'd returned to Max. "GOT IT" he howled before he'd even left the camp site.
Codi blinked. Ash had already gotten back to eating his breakfast. "He always like that for her?" Codi asked.
"He's been a bit more nuts about it since you came around," Ash said with a shrug. Only a bit, then.
"Got it," Codi said. She gave a knowing nod as she went back to eating her breakfast. "Guessing he's desperate for her to let him hit again?"
"Yeah, it's funny you say that," Ash muffled straight through a full mouth of food. Luckily, he decided to swallow the last of his breakfast before he went on. Be it for convenience or decency, Codi appreciated it. "He's the one who won't fuck her."
Codi lowered her head to stare him straight in the eyelids. "You're kidding?" she asked, the image of Ithos tumbling through a forest still fresh in her mind. Ash nodded, but this hardly changed the situation from Codi's point of view. The revelation only proved it was more dire than she thought. "He doesn't even know that he's horny, does he?"
"Between you and me," Ash said. He gave a performative glance both ways in search of an eavesdropper. After confirming that invisible people hadn't suddenly visibled themselves, he looked at Codi with the utmost solemnity. "I don't even think he jerks off yet."
"Oh, come on," Codi said, rolling her eyes. After a moment's thought, though, she tilted her head in consideration. "Well, how old is he?" Five would've been late, certainly, but not impossible to believe. Pokémon are more or less fully physically developed and (technically) ready to evolve as early as two, but it can take a few years for someone to figure it out without any sort of guidance.
"Fourteen," Ash said. Codi's jaw dropped. He'd have been universally recognized as an adult for six years at that point. "Going on fifteen." That was almost too much to believe.
"No, then," Codi said. She shook her head and got back to the last of her breakfast. "No way." Ash raised a brow, but didn't intervene, seeming excited to hear her reasoning. "I mean, come on. It would've happened on accident by now."
"Yeah, probably," Ash said, a glint in his eyelid. He raised his head to stare down his nose at her with an amused smirk. "That's how it is for guys." Codi's stomach turned. She gripped her fork, ready to give Ash a brand new reason to never open his eyes. "How the hell do you know?" He continued to look exclusively intrigued and curious. That question wasn't rhetorical. He genuinely didn't know.
He couldn't tell.
"Um. Ash," Codi said, gently setting the fork on her now empty plate. As wonderful as it would be if he couldn't tell, she knew he wasn't that oblivious. "Are you messing with me?"
"What?" Ash asked. He stared blankly at her, then tilted his head. "I don't think so. Why?"
Codi's eyes drifted to the fire at the center of it all (well, the campsite). Having Max respect her identity (and then enforce that respect) had been one thing. This was. Well, she did somewhat feel like she was about to explode in a burst of viscera and joy. She had to pull herself together, though, to face the next horror.
She had to explain this to Ash. Sure, she didn't have to, but if they were going to be spending the next however long together, it was bound to come up again. Besides, he seemed nice enough. If it turned out he wasn't, though, she always had Max's promise to fall back on.
"So," Codi started to say. She turned to look at him and then continued to turn to avoid as much. She'd never explained this to anyone, but an idea struck her. Max's little slip yesterday meant she was the same, so Ash had to know about that. Wait, yeah, that meant Ash would have to be cool about it. They'd been teammates for how long? "Well, you know about Max's whole thing, right?"
Ash nodded politely along as she spoke. "No," he said.
Codi slapped the bridge of her snout. "What do you—yesterday, remember when she mentioned people used to think she was a guy?" she asked.
"Yeah, what was that about?" Ash asked. "I mean, she's, like, horny enough to be one." He chuckled with a cheeky little bob of his head. "But, c'mon. Look at her. No way anyone could make a mistake like that, right?" He put his paw to his chin in thought. "She's kinda beefy, but it's not like girls can't be muscular, y'know?" His gaze started to drift as his mind started to stray. "Mmm. Muscular girls."
"Hey!" Codi barked, snapping at him with her right paw until he shook out of his reverie. At least he had good taste, though he didn't even seem the slightest bit flustered with what he was caught thinking about. He was entirely shameless. Incredible. "Ash, do you seriously not know?"
"Codi, listen," Ash said. He put a paw up, then started to wave it along as he explained. "See, there's something you have to know about me." He jammed his thumb into his chest. "I." He put his paws to his hips. "Am stupid. An idiot. Dumb as rocks. The kinda guy who forgets to breathe on oc-," he heaved in an exaggerated breath to demonstrate, "-assion." He relaxed and looked at her. "Spell it out for me."
"Mother of the Sea," Codi chuckled. His sprinkles of humor made this a lot easier for her. "Ash, she's trans." He nodded in wait of further explanation. "Gender. Transgender." No light of understanding shined on his eyelid. "She hatched a guy."
"OH, you mean when she was a human?" Ash asked. Codi shrugged with a nod. "Whoah. That must've been crazy." He put a paw to his chin with an amused smile. "Damn, that must've been wild to adapt to. I'd go nuts if I was a girl all of a sudden. I think I'd kill myself." He suddenly looked at Codi, whose jaw had dropped to underneath the ground, and threw a paw up in halfhearted apology. "No offense."
"None taken," Codi mumbled. At least he seemed to intuitively understand the distressing nature of it.
"Do you think it still bugs her ever?" Ash pondered.
"Well, no," Codi said. She couldn't tell if this was the funniest conversation of her life, or if every new sentence out of this idiot's mouth took another year off her life. "She knew she was a girl before she came here." It seemed like, at least, though maybe it had just been a lucky switch.
"OH," Ash said, throwing a paw to his forehead. "She came here to be one?" Ash winced as he unconsciously guarded his groin with a leg.
"Ash," Codi said. She tried to hold back on her frustration. It was her fault, really. He did tell her she'd need to spell this out. "She became a girl before she became a pokémon." Probably, at least, but that. He wasn't ready for that discussion, yet.
"Whoah, humans can just do that?" Ash asked. "Do they, like, hatch again? Wild."
"Pokémon, too," Codi explained. At this point, it was best to cut her losses and start over. She shook her head and waved all of that to the side. "Okay, Ash." She spoke a bit slow for his benefit. "Sometimes, pokémon hatch with a gender assigned based on sex, but they feel another. After they figure out what they prefer, they transition to the one that fits them better."
"Ooohhhh, okay," Ash said, nodding his head. "So, like, if I was a girl all of a sudden, I wouldn't have to kill myself. I could still be a dude again?" Again, in his stupidity, at least he seemed to grasp the stakes of the situation.
"Yes," Codi said. This conversation was significantly harder than she'd expected, but in none of the ways she'd anticipated.
"Whoah," Ash said. He gave it some thought with an appreciative nod. "That's, like, a miracle, right? People can just be what they want." A shade of horror suddenly flew over his eyelids. "WAIT!" His legs went to guard his groin again. He almost whimpered in grief. Codi did as she realized she'd have to hear the next thing he said. "No… their nuts. Their shafts." He stared at the sky to watch a star die. "No."
Codi leaned back until she slid off her seat on the log. The forest floor gave her a satisfying thud. "They don't have to go," Codi explained. "Some do, some don't." She pulled her arms back to shove herself back up.
Ash gave a solid nod of respect. Then, he stared at a beautiful expanse of new possibilities before him. Through a new lens, the universe revealed another layer to its true nature. He drank in the sight with the reverence of an Arcean Pastor that had a little bit too much of an obsession going on.
"Girls…," Ash whispered. Staring into the eyes of God, he seemed terrified the beauty of the sight might smite him. "They can… top." He had no right teasing Ithos for being unaware at this point. Then, he brought a paw to his muzzle as his eyes shot to Codi. She realized he just remembered how they got to this point in the conversation. "You." Breath left him.
A trail of smoke appeared between where he sat and Codi, leading to him, kneeling before Codi, with eyes suddenly wide open and pin-pricks for irises. "CODI!" he plead. For his efforts, she smacked him across the face. The force made him look to his right very quickly, and he deflated in disappointment. "Aw."
All things considered, he took the rejection well. He got right up and moped through the earth he'd scorched on his way over with nary a complaint or attempt to change her mind.
"Typical," he grumbled, hopping back onto his log. "Only guys can appreciate my swagger."
Codi rolled her eyes, and they both chuckled. She took a breath and looked away, cheeks flushing a darker blue. He'd known about the concept for minutes, yet he'd already made a point to affirm her. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?" Ash asked, for some reason a bit muffled. Codi looked up to see him munching on Ithos' food.
"Y'know," Codi said. From his blank stare, she realized he didn't. "Calling me not a guy just now."
"Why would I do that?" Ash asked, a bit taken aback. "That'd be, like, awful, right?" He looked to the side, taking another bite from Ithos' plate. "Hold on, need to think about being a girl again." He immediately gagged and shook his head of the thought. "Yeah, no. Besides." He shrugged. "You're a girl. Why would I call you a guy?"
He was literally too stupid to be mean. It was beautiful. Somewhat transcendent.
Alas, because of that, Codi knew he could never understand the dark truth of cruelty. He was but an innocent soul in a broken world to whom hate could not have a place anywhere near a heart. This must've been what it was like to have a younger brother.
"Well, some people don't think of it that way," Codi said. That should keep it simple enough that his soul would remain pure.
"Damn," Ash said, shaking his head. "I didn't know there were people stupider than me." Of course, the best explanation his simple mind could comprehend. It was as beautiful as it was pathetic. Codi wanted to nurture this bounding fawn through thick and thin, like a stupid son whom she hated.
Before any of that, though, came the rustle of paws behind them. Codi couldn't warn her idiot son whom she hated in time. "ASH!" Ithos shouted, barreling in to smack him upside the back of his head and retrieve what remained of his plate.
As entertaining as it was, Codi turned behind her at the sound of a pained grumble. Max was a good bit further away, walking upright to put a paw to her stomach, bag hanging loose off her shoulder. She gave a smile when Codi met her eyes, and it looked so strained it was barely there. Codi hopped up and went over, which made Max look away, cheeks sparking.
"Hey, Max," Codi said. She wrapped her arm around Max with a supportive smile. "What's up?"
Max began to say, "It's nothing to worry ab-" when her eyes shot open. She doubled over and hissed out, "Ka kachu chuuu." Codi held her up without a second thought and hurried her to the nearest seat. Once she had Max as comfortable as she could be, Codi turned to the camp.
"Ash! Ithos!" Codi barked. They paused their bickering to look at her, a bit surprised. She hoped they weren't offended, but this was too urgent for that to matter. "Ash, get water! Ithos, grab what medical-"
"KAPI!" Max screamed. She yanked Codi back with an apologetic smile to the other two. Codi quickly knelt to her level. Sparks spouted down Max's cheeks while she forced a smile through the pain. "I'm okay." She took a deep breath to continue speaking through grit teeth. "I just get cramps once a month."
"Once a month?" Codi asked. That regular, there had to be some kind of correlating factor. There's no way she ate something bad at the same time every month. "Do you have any idea what's been causing them?" Codi held one of Max's paws between her own, trying to soothe her however she possibly could. Max looked down at the gesture with another thin smile and more sparks bouncing down her cheeks.
"Yeah. Being a girl," Max said. Codi squinted. That didn't make any sense. Unless it was specific to mammalian pokémon, she knew Mom didn't have anything like this. "Err. A human girl." That did technically count as being specific to mammals.
"Oh," Codi said. She shrank down a bit and turned awkwardly to Ash and Ithos. Luckily, they were back to bickering. She hoped they'd forgotten about her yelling at them already.
"Hey, it's all right," Max hissed. She pat Codi's shoulder through another pained grimace. "I get it. You were just trying to help." Max rattled a pill out from some bottle and swallowed it dry while she searched her bag for her canteen. After a sip, she managed the closest to a smile she had so far. "I've already got a reptile obsessed with my well-being, though, all right?"
"D, world destruction
O-ver an overture
N, Do I need
Apostrophe T, need this torture?"
"So, I've been meaning to ask," Codi said. "What's the plan?"
"Plan?" Max asked. She gave a worried glance to Codi. She seemed all right, but Max imagined she was pretty good at hiding hunger pangs. After valiantly wresting it from Ithos' paws, she'd managed to get first shift helping Max through supper. Max hated that they even had to do this. She'd thought she had a good grip after scarfing her food down this time, but they said she looked like she was fading. "About what?"
"About what?" Codi asked. She raised a brow, tilting her head at Max. "Max, Fara." Max flinched away, and a cramp came to accentuate her wince. "What are you planning to do next?"
"I don't really know," Max said. She'd already taken some ibuprofen, so she knew the cramps were on their way out. "If she's not in Lively Town, she'll be a lot harder to track." She slumped further into the grass and rested her head on her arm. She glanced up at Codi. "You hear about any missions going after the Tree of Life?" She doubted two different Dark Matters would go for the same end game.
"Yeah, obviously," Codi said. Max bit her tongue and listened. "That's why their forces are spread so thin. Half the Expedition Society's on a mission to…." Codi stared off in the distance. "Oh." Max nodded along as Codi came to the same conclusion. "She's after the Tree of Life."
Max rolled onto her back to put her paws over her eyes. "Yep," she said. Because of course she was. Max should've booked it there the instant she crashed down. Yet, the more she thought of it, the less sure she was.
What would Fara want with it? Eleos had wanted to bring the world to an end, and it went straight for that goal. Fara had done far more than that, far too much if all she wanted to do was destroy the Tree of Life. Unless she wanted to torment the lives she was about to destroy, but that seemed excessive. Of course, trying to throw Earth into the sun had been excessive, but it was at least consistent with its goals.
Codi poked her side with a stick. "Max?" she asked. Max bat the stick away and glared up at her with the freshly uncovered eye. "You okay?"
"Thinking," Max said. Of course, Codi could probably help with that. She might've been as low as a rank could get, but maybe the information traveled far enough down. "Do you know what she intends to do there? What does she want with the Tree?"
"Well, she says protect it," Codi said with a roll of her eyes. Yeah, that obviously wasn't true. "What could she even do with it, though?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Max mumbled. "If you get any ideas, let me know." She gave it another moment's thought, then yawned. It wasn't really late enough to go to sleep yet, was it? Then again, those persistent cramps came around again to remind her she needed to take it easy. It's not like the Rescue Society is going anywhere.
Codi poked her with the same stick. "Max?" she asked. Max peeked one eye open and realized that she'd closed them. Codi was looking down with a mix of worry and confusion. "Any ideas? What's up?"
"Ideas for what?" Max asked.
"A plan?!" Codi asked, throwing her paws up in frustration.
"Oh! No," Max said, much to Codi's displeasure. Max decided to go on before the toto blew a gasket (or killed her). "I'm not really good with plans in the first place." She gave an apologetic smile and a shrug. She flicked a paw up to jab a thumb in the direction of camp. "That's their job."
Codi silently stared through her in abject horror. Her maw tried to open, but quickly closed back up. She put both paws to the top of her snout and sank to the ground.
"Hey," Max said. She hid a wince as she pushed herself up to stop Codi laying all the way down. "Look, it's not as bad as it sounds." Codi glared at her, uncertain that Max knew what she was saying. "Your concern is Ash, right?"
"I mean, half of it," Codi said. She gradually let her paws fall, one going to the back of her neck. "I guess Ithos isn't an idiot." Even as she said it, she gave Max an uncertain glance. "But Ash?"
"Combat genius," Max said. Codi blinked. "Yesterday, the Expedition Society sent three after us. Excadril after me, and." She paused, looking to the side, trying to remember. She snapped her paws a few times, as well, but to no avail. "Two water types went after them. One of them was half ground." She was. Pretty sure, at least. "Remember how you found me?" Codi shrank away a bit at the thought.
"Exactly," Max said. She pat Codi's shoulder with a light smirk. "They, however, had enough energy to run over and pester you, didn't they?" She paused a beat for the point to land. She hadn't seen the fight, but she'd been in enough with Ash before to know. "That was thanks to Ash."
"Max," Codi said. She pulled on the relatively fresh memory and shook her head. "All he did was run at me. I kicked his ass."
"He's a tank," Max said. Right, pokémon didn't have military vehicles—and thank God for that. She waved the word away before Codi could ask. "He can take a massive beating and be absolutely fine." How long had that blastoise blasted him before he keeled over? "He likes to get a read on enemies, so he hops in and lets them get a few hits in." Codi continued to stare in disbelief.
"You had to do auditions, right? To get into the Expedition Society?" she asked. Codi nodded. "How many people do you think have won every fight?" Codi's eyes started to widen, easily following where Max was taking this. "Because I know that number's at least one." Max smirked. "And that was Ash."
Codi put her head in her paws. Max watched her stare in horror as her head bobbed through a past conversation. Ash probably gave her some thick doses of idiot in the two meals they'd shared when alone together.
She could see the grief of every idiotic sentence pass Codi by and chuckled. Max could remember having the reverse realization, trying to understand how the dude who coached her into taking out two marowak at once failed to understand why doors needed hinges instead of a second knob 'for added security'. Codi looked up in search of a punchline, but Max gave her none but an awkward shrug. Codi looked back down.
"Ok," Codi said. She wasn't, pretty plainly, but she could say the words. "Sure." She took a deep breath and spat it all out at once. "Sure. So, what, you just ask him for a plan and he makes one up?"
"Oh Christ, no," Max said. She shook her head. She didn't even want to think about how awful that would go. "Ithos knows everything about this Goddamned continent there is to know. We get together, and he and Ash work through strategy."
"What do you do, then?" Codi asked. She managed a forced chuckle and a light smirk. "Sit there looking pretty?"
"Well," Max hummed. She dexterously traced a paw down Codi's side with a flirtatious grin and pulled away right as Codi started to chirp. "That, too, of course." Codi nervously scooched a bit away, and Max flopped back to the forest floor. "But, no. I'm the experience."
"I'll say," Codi grumbled. Max perked up and chuckled watching Codi brush off the scales Max had tickled. She couldn't help noticing Codi's cheeks seemed a hue or two darker than usual.
"You can know how to make the world stop turning," Max said, wistfully. "But until you've seen the plan through, you'll never realize how stupid it is to bring exactly one apple per person for a mission that will take an entire day." She shared a glance with Codi and nodded to confirm that, yes, exactly that had happened.
Of course, she'd also went along with throwing a caterpie to the N-zone. Anyone can make a mistake. Let they who are without idiocy cast the first caterpie.
"I guess I should've figured," Codi said. She looked down at Max and let out a relieved sigh that flicked Max's ear up. It might've been relieved, but it also held a note that didn't quite sit right. Max gave a quick look at her eyes and saw barely hidden disappointment. "You've been at this a while. Of course you'd already have a tight dynamic down."
"Eh, it works," Max said. "That's all right, though." She had to almost physically restrain herself from winking. "We've been lacking in one specific thing for a while now." She rolled up—fucking cramp made her wince, but she powered through for Codi—and put a paw on Codi's shoulder. The paw that she didn't snapped to point at the toto failing to hide her excitement. "A Codi."
"B-but I'm, you," Codi stammered out. She tried to say something, anything, but she couldn't get it out. It was pointless, anyway, a smile already pulling at the edges of her cheeks. Her composure fully fell apart when she felt the shedding of her first tear.
Codi threw herself around Max and sobbed, "Thank you!"
"They want what they're not
And I wish they would stop
Saying Deputy Dawg dog a ding dang depadepa
Deputy Dawg Dog a ding dang depadepa"