Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: (Another) First Kiss

by Tanuki1029

Everyone wants a second chance, Max more than most. She thinks it's finally here, until it all goes so terribly wrong. All she can do is watch as a fresh start becomes an ancient catastrophe; a taste, so sweet, turns to ash in the mouth, as the hero who defeated Dark Matter finds out what happened when she didn't. (A Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon Adaptation)

15. Chapter 15: I Hope That I Get Old

"Sometimes I feel like being wispy
And once in a while I feel like being dry"

—"I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die" from They Might Be Giants by They Might Be Giants

Mountain climbing. They were mountain climbing. It was the second day of Max's period, and they were mountain climbing, because of course they were. It was a much, much less needlessly roundabout path this time, at least. If they'd tried to get her to scale that high again, without the protective gear that made that possible, she would've gotten violent.

She still might.

It was a constant war between danger, exhaustion, and agony. Resting didn't really help it go by easier, but her imploding midsection certainly made moving harder. At least she'd gotten a lot better at pushing through the worst of them (and this was certainly among the worst of them).

She looked up to the next ledge, so close. It wasn't vertical, that wouldn't be safe without climbing gear, but it was steep enough that she couldn't see Codi once she cleared the ledge. Max let out a whimper. She tried to steel herself, but her vision was fading more by the second. The ledge was right there. With another deep, deep breath, she started pulling herself up one paw at a time.

Her stomach started grinding against itself harder, and she yelped. She was right there. She grit her teeth and closed her eyes to push herself through the last few feet. So, when she felt a warm, scaled paw instead of stone, she pulled it away with a yelp, but the paw already grabbed hold.

"Up you go," Ithos grunted as he pulled her over the ledge. Relief spilled out of Max in cheeps. She wanted to hug the hell out of him, but she had a uterus to hate, and she'd been vertical for far too long.

"Thanks," Max said as she laid down. Just in time, too. The second the words left her lips, her face contorted into agony too much for her to speak in more than feral squeaks. Why did life have to be like this? If these idiots insisted on bringing humans into their idiot world, why would they torture the girls like this? Was it God? Was it just the same grudge over the stupid fucking pear? They were certainly spiteful enough, in her experience.

Ithos dutifully watched over her with gentle pets here and there when he could. "How does a break sound?" he asked. Max nodded through a deep, thankful breath. "Here, would this help?" He held an apple out to her with a hopeful smile.

"Not with the pain," Max growled. Regardless, she smiled as she rolled up to grab it. "But it'll help me." She took it out of his paw and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

She snuggled up next to him and got to chomping. It was a precious apple, some delectable mix of tart and sweet with the faintest suggestion of sour as it went down. It was a bit tough, maybe under-ripe, but no less delicious. Before she finished her first cycle around, she pulled it away to get a read on the color while it still had enough skin. As she suspected, red speckled gold. Were those flakes of green?

"Do you like it?" Ithos said, almost sang, with a proud smile Max could feel from his shoulder. It almost warranted teasing, but he had done a good job. To reward him, she rubbed her cheek into the side of his arm.

"It's really good," Max said. Thanks to leaning on him, she could feel Ithos' restrained little hop that he couldn't quite contain. She'd only said 'it's' at that point, but she didn't mind and got back to chowing down. Her cramps hadn't left, but thanks to the apple, she had some joy to combat them.

"Huh, it worked," Codi said. That was a bit strange, but Max still had an apple to eat. "Dammit. I was hoping you'd let me dump all those things out so you could carry your own stuff."

"Fiffthosf!" Max hissed through the apple. She smacked Ithos' shoulder and jabbed a nubbin in Codi's direction. She left the half-bitten chunk attached to the apple with a mournful glance and looked up at him with a glare. "Don't make her carry your shit!" That was ridiculous. What the hell was he thinking? "You've got your own bag, don't you?" All the while, he just stared down at her with his knowing smirk. "What?"

"She agreed," Ithos said. He kept watching her, like he was waiting for her to notice something. "On the condition it really helped."

"Helped what?" Max growled. "You be lazy?" She wanted to hit him again, but bit into the apple instead. With that saved chunk thoroughly filling her mouth, she near incomprehensibly muffled, "Carry your own shit."

"Help you," Ithos sang. Max glared up at him, excited to hear how someone else carrying his stuff made her life easier. "How's the apple?" He already knew the answer, so she didn't dignify the question with a response. She simply took another bite. "I'm just worried you don't like it." He put a look of exaggerated hurt on with a paw to his heart, then looked down with a glint in his eye. "You're eating it awfully slow."

Max got ready to slap him for that when the implication suddenly landed. She had been eating it pretty slow. Spinning it around in her paws, it had at least another whole pass around before she'd hit the core. She could even stop eating it to look at it.

It was an apple. It was just a normal apple.

Max chomped into the apple to hold it in her mouth as she threw her arms around Ithos so hard she almost fainted. Some of the stick of apple transferred from her fur to his scales, but he didn't seem to mind. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a light squeeze. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder to squeeze out some harmless sparks in thanks.

They pulled apart in unison, and Max looked down at the apple with a grin. "Where'd you get this?" Max asked.

"An orchard!" Ithos said. His proud grin threatened the safety of his mouth as he puffed up his chest. "I got the idea when Codi mentioned abandoned farms, and then I remembered there's a famous orchard a bit South of Gentle Slope Cave."

Max paused in her chomping. That cave was pretty far away at this point. A few miles at least. She really hoped it was more than 'a bit' South, but then she heard Codi's chuckles.

"A mile," Codi explained. "I caught him leaving before sunrise, and he told me he just needed to go a mile North and back." She shook her head in disbelief. "I thought he was kidding, but after an hour, I stopped doubting him."

"Ithos," Max whispered. She stared down at this little abomination with intense regret, wishing she'd savored it even more. "You." She'd already eaten well past the point of being able to save any of it. "A mile." After that, her voice grew significantly more robust. "YOU RAN TWO MILES TO BRING ME A SINGLE APPLE?"

She threw her paw to her head when she started seeing stars from the scream. This wasn't just love, anymore. This was a concerning lack of foresight.

Ithos burst into laughter so intense he had to clutch his belly as he fell backwards. "No!" he cackled. "Of course not!" Max let out a sigh of relief, thanking God it was just a joke.

That relief didn't last.

Ithos gained back enough composure to sit up and pull his bag in front of him. Just from how lumpy and deformed it had become, Max already knew what she was about to see. She held on to some desperate hope, no matter how faint, that she was wrong until he finally opened it.

The bag was filled to the brim with apples. Now that the flap wasn't holding it closed, what had to be the entire orchard fought to stretch the bag's mouth beyond its limits and spill out. Every single one was in absolutely pristine condition, and all of them exactly within the ranges of her favorite hues. Despite the endless variety, she couldn't see a single apple she'd hate (like the despicable red 'delicious').

Max stared in open mouth exuberance. Her eyes drank in the sight like the bounty's delectable juices. She barely caught herself drooling in time to suck it back in before it dripped.

"I-Ithos," Codi said. "Careful." She'd taken a few steps to close the distance with a cautious eye on Max. "It doesn't have to be Lotus to affect someone."

"Don't worry," Ithos chuckled. Max whimpered as he (with great effort) pulled the bag closed again, but Ithos quickly wrapped around to give her some soothing pets. "She's just like that about apples." Even as she wrapped her arms around him, her eyes drifted towards that endlessly lumpy bag.

He gently coaxed her eyes away from it and into his with another chuckle. Before she could whimper again, he leaned down to kiss her. Max didn't hesitate to reciprocate, throwing herself up and wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled him down to her level before deciding to drag him all the way to the ground with her. She spun around in the air to land on top, using the force to get her tongue—

Ash and Codi were howling with laughter. Max had forgotten they weren't alone.

Max jerked up and out of his hold, only for him to grab her by the paws and yank her back down with laughter of his own. He held her violently sparking cheeks against his chest and rocked her side to side to soothe her.

"Th-they really haven't," Codi cackled. She shook her head with her laughter with glances to Ash. Ash nodded along, his laughter dying out already. "Y-you two-" Codi cut herself off with more laughter. After letting a bit more out, she got the composure to continue. "Ithos, please." Ithos tried to crane his neck up to see her. "You ran two miles. You can fuck her, it's okay."

"Wh-what?!" Ithos sputtered. Some the embarrassment transferred from Max to him, and she got his amusement in return. Not enough, though. Not nearly enough. "Th-that—what does that have to do with sex?!"

Max shook her head, pulling her tail up to hide under. Why did she have to fall in love with such an oblivious idiot?

"But we're doomed and we're drowned
By this feeling we surround
So I hope that I get old before I die"

"Ithos," Max said, so desperately out of breath. She felt his every scale, every limb wrapped and contorted around her. Her body pressed against his with equal irresistible intensity as his pressing into hers. Their gasping breath melted together as they entwined with their mouths just too far away to meet. She could already feel her heartbeat beating out of time with his. "Absolutely not."

"Come on, it's just an extra day!" Ithos whined. As he bitched, Max worked on getting out from under him. At least the tumble had been at essentially the foot of the mountain. "It's a really mild route, too!"

"Why do you want to go to Glittering Mountain?!" Max asked, tugging in time with her words until she'd liberated her left hindpaw. She started to tumble backwards, but Ithos' pretzeled arm shot out to catch her before she did.

"We need to check on the uprisings!" Ithos said. He shot the answer out quick, but not the least bit convincing. As they bickered, Ash and Codi slowed their approach over to help. Max gave Ithos' arm a solid yank, and he yelped as he flew out of their little crevice. "We missed them on the way, y'know?"

"Ithos, we have bigger fish to fry," Max said, shaking her head. "These towns will be fine without our help." She brought a paw to her eyes and wiped the sweat away. She was very glad the sun was on its way down.

"Come on," Codi said. She instantly got a glare from Max, but only flinched away a little bit. She was taking Ithos' side, wasn't she? Despicable, but Max shouldn't have been surprised to see her allegiance so suddenly shift. "What's wrong with stopping by a town?"

"Everything," Max exaggerated. Even Codi didn't buy that one. Max took a breath and looked away with a grumble. "Look, Codi, until you, nobody got it." She tried to hide her sneer. "They're gonna think I'm special or something stupid." The sneer broke through as she remembered the worst part of it all. "They call me 'Freedom' for Christ's sake." She rolled her eyes.

Really, it was because her cramps had started to come back. With them came every overwhelming emotion at once. The longer the day, the harder it became to stay conscious as well as resist the urge to cry about absolutely everything.

She couldn't say that, though. It'd make her sound too emotional.

"Until me?" Codi asked. She tilted her head in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?" The other three shared a glance, then stared back at her. "What?"

Ithos grumbled out a heavy sigh while Ash rubbed his paws together. "I guess SOMEBODY owes me money," Ash sang. He thrust his paw out to Ithos. "Pay up, buddy!" Whatever this was, though, even Max didn't understand. She shifted back to Codi's side a bit and watched Ithos panic.

"W-wait, no!" Ithos said. "I—I'll owe you, all right? I-" he glanced at Max in his panic, "don't have the money, all right?" Max lifted one ear. He wasn't usually one to care much about money.

"Liar!" Ash barked. Anger flashed like fire on his eyelids as he stared Ithos down. "We showed the money when we made the bet!"

"I-I know, but," Ithos stuttered. He glanced at Max again, eyes shooting open in panic when he saw her see him do as much. "It's just." He looked away, clutching his bag a bit and looking decidedly away from Max as he leaned forward to whisper, "I need it, all right?"

Before the chaos could reach much higher, Codi raised a paw. Ash and Ithos froze in place for a moment, shared a glance, then turned their heads to her, bodies still as stone. "Yes?" they asked in unison.

"Hello," Codi said. She gingerly lowered her paw, brushing her scales on the way down. She took a breath, nodded at Max, then looked at both Ash and Ithos. With a final clearing of her throat, she so eloquently asked, "What the fuck?" Max crossed her arms with a nod, equally curious (though, she was more interested in what Ithos of all people needed money for).

"Well," Ash said, puffing his chest out with pride. "This IDIOT," he sneered at Ithos victoriously, "decided that you HAD TO be the same totodile as the one in Glitterion." He crossed his arms and stared down his nose at Ithos. "But I bet you don't even know where that is."

Codi froze in place, and Max watched with concern. Codi's jaw clenched tight enough that Max thought she could hear her teeth grinding together. "I-I," Codi stammered. Max went to pat her shoulder, and Codi smacked her paw away. Codi backed away, shaking her head while Max shook the sting off her paw. "S-sorry." Codi sounded close to tears. "I'm so sorry."

Ash and Ithos both watched in terror, but Max couldn't help a smirk. She wasn't Cori, obviously, but Max recognized this particular kind of apology. "H-hey, what's wrong?" Ithos asked. Codi flinched away.

"You just won a bet, I think," Max mumbled.

After a moment, Codi took a breath. She steeled herself as she did, pulling what strength she had into herself and nodded. "Okay," Codi said, clenching her fists as tight as she could. She opened her eyes with the resolve to face what evil she'd done. Max tried not to snicker. "It's my fault. What happened because of me?"

"Nothing much," Max hummed. She extended her claws to examine them. Ooh, were manicures a thing she could get? She didn't want one, but she had to wonder if she could get one. "Just inspired the whole of the Water Continent to overthrow their oppressors."

"I what," Codi said.

Ithos leapt into the air and brought his paw to the sky before crashing down to the earth and stabbing a claw right into Ash's face. He opened his mouth to declare his victory, but froze just before he could. Moving nothing but his head, he turned to face Codi with a polite smile and asked, "So, you were the totodile who hydro pumped the ursaring, right?"

Codi blinked, then mumbled, "Well, it was an Ursaluna, but-"

"LOOK WHO'S RIGHT, NOW!" Ithos cheered. Max threw her paws over her ears with a growl while Ithos jabbed his thumbs towards himself in a staggered motion as he hopped around, spinning, humming, "I win, I'm right, I won, because I'm right," with his eyes closed in cheek defying glee. Before Max could die of secondary embarrassment, Ithos leapt up to do a full rotation and held out a paw. "Pay up!"

Max rubbed her paws over her eyes, shaking her head and wishing that self-humiliation was a valid reason to break up with him. Luckily, Codi came up to pat her on the shoulder. She plopped down next to Max and leaned over to whisper, "Think he'll do that dance after you two finally do it?"

"KACHU!" Max barked. She shoved Codi away as the toto broke down into laughter. Shoving her over only helped her roll around in enough amusement, clutching her belly while Max tried to scrub that mental image from her mind.

"So," Max hissed, grabbing Codi's shoulder. Codi yelped as Max ripped her up off the ground and planted her upright, then started lightly chuckling again when she found her balance again. Max narrowed her eyes, desperately hoping that this would get Codi back to flustered. "Do you really not know anything about what happened after Glitterion?" Ithos dragged Ash back to claim his well earned winnings.

"No?" Codi said. Just like Max hoped, the reminder had Codi back to looking nervous. Unfortunately, that made Max immediately regret getting her worked up again. Vengeance never tasted so bitter. "The whole Continent's been revolting, and I'm a traitor. I can't show my face in a city." Her voice weakened to a whimper, her eyes falling to the ground. "Both sides want me dead."

"Codi," Max said, trying to hide a chuckle. She knew that Codi's fears were probably killing her, so she didn't want Codi to think she was being glib. Based on the glare Codi gave her, she had failed. "You're kind of a legend."

Codi blinked. The sentence didn't process right, so she needed some more information. "That's bad, right?" she asked. "You mean, like. Legendarily evil, right?"

"I do not," Max said. She put her paws behind her back with a growing grin.

"I see," Codi said. She nodded as her eyes wandered to the side. Just from her expression, Max could tell she didn't really process it yet. Max could practically hear the conversation up to that point as it ran back in Codi's mind. "Inspired." Codi looked at Max with blank eyes. "Did you mean to say inspired?"

"I did, yes," Max said. Before Codi could retreat again, Max scurried over and slapped a paw to her back (careful not to hit the broken spine). "Congrats!" She gave Codi a thumbs up and a wink. "You're a hero."

"No," Codi said. She furrowed her brow, shaking her head. "I, that can't be right." Her paw went to grasp at her tags. Whatever she felt, it seemed to embolden her further into her denial. "I'm a soldier. Everyone knows what I am. They. I had to leave or else they'd have locked me up like all the rest of us."

"Codi," Max said, shaking her head. She rolled her eyes and got to scritching the back of Codi's neck. Cori was already so similar, she wondered if the little fold above her right shoulder would work, too. When her claw grazed it, Codi nearly collapsed in her hold. Max chuckled in amazement and held Codi's weight for her. "Did they kick you out, or let you leave peacefully?"

"Uh," Codi cooed. Her eyes were a bit distant, now, thanks to Max's ministrations. "L-let me leave."

"Right," Max said. She slowed her scratching and gradually let Codi take her control back. She kept some control for herself, though, so she could finish. "Would they let an enemy leave to alert the other forces?" Codi didn't answer, but her eyes did. Max clapped her paw on her back and smiled.

"Congrats!" Max said. The smile she beamed down cracked as she thought back to her own situation. "Just hope they don't call you something stupid like 'Freedom'." She practically spat the word. "It doesn't even work as a name."

Codi nodded along and whispered, "Freedom." Max assumed that was from some internal thinking because she didn't want to think about otherwise. It was Codi's moment, after all. Codi deserved the focus. Codi nodded along for a moment and brought a paw to her chin. "Libré?" Max froze in place. She'd imagined that, surely. "Libré, yeah! It's Spanish for 'free'. Think that has a nicer ring to it?"

Max stared off in the far, far off distance. Her eyes landed on the ground, but looked so much further away. It was silly, of course. After all, Cori got her a GameCube for Life Day. Obviously, that had to be where the Pikachu Libré of their time got the inspiration. Human stuff was a niche interest, but an interest.

Besides, Libré's tail was a huge part of her iconography, and that gene wasn't supposed to be around for a while. Max dispassionately looked behind her to see the (now iconic) heart at the end of her tail. It was how Fara told the entire Continent to identify her.

Max held her head in her paws while Codi stared in concern, leaning gently away. "Max?" Codi said. She looked around for a stick, but found none. Reluctantly, she used her paw, but Max remained unresponsive. "Are you all right?" In hindsight, of course Codi would be the one to bring about this realization. After all, Cori was the one who brought Max to Thro-Yo. "Ithos?" Codi called. "I think your girlfriend's broken."

Max continued to sit in horror as her idiot boyfriend jauntily hopped over, still counting a concerning amount of Poké. It didn't even phase her. Nothing could phase her anymore. She didn't know what to feel. It was simply too perfect. She hated how much sense it made. It was too much to think about with her emotions already all running too high.

"Ohh, my shining bolt," Ithos sang. "Are you, perhaps, so enthralled by the endless riches of your boyfriend?" He was pushing it, but she had no ability to push back.

"Sure," Max said.

"Oh?" Ithos said. He watched her with a knowing smirk and a growing glint in his eye. He pulled her in closer and made pointed eye contact with a whimpering Ash as he continued to count his winnings. "Of course. Would you like to know how much I've earned, my darling?" He was starting to sound like Eleos. He really needed her to take him down to earth, so she prepared her response.

"Sure," Max said.

"A hundred thousand," Ithos said. Max nodded. That was a lot of money. The fact Ithos even bet that much was absurd, but he never did care much about money. It at least explained his reticence to admit defeat, but it did nothing to excuse that accursed victory dance.

The more Ithos watched her fail to react, the wider his smile grew. He seemed to already be victorious in his mind, the last parts of his plan coming together. He counted the thousandth poké loudly enough for Ash to hear and wrapped both paws around Max to tug her into his lap.

"I'm sure, my little precious," he said, "You'd love to celebrate this occasion with me in in the Lustrous Land of Glitterion, right?" Ah, a perfect plan. He thought she was too indisposed to answer anything but 'sure', making the detour a unanimous vote. She'd have to be careful with her next response, lest she fall into his trap. So well telegraphed, however, she would never let such an obvious pitfall befall her.

"Sure," Max said.

"Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why, why, why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die"

Despite the detour, they made it back to the Rescue Society within the week. They hadn't even stayed in Glitterion for a day. It was actually nice to see the gentle excitement the town gave to greet Codi and her. It was enough to dispel Codi's misgivings about her new status' legitimacy without making her as resentful of it as Max. It was actually, in all senses, a success. With so many uprisings everywhere, they were nothing special.

Wigglytuff was not happy with them.

All of Team Plasma lined up in his office. Max and Ithos stood in the center, Max with Codi on her left, and Ithos with Ash on his right. Wigglytuff paced the floor in front of them with anger that seemed eager to scorch the wood beneath his paws. Luckily, he was a normal type instead of a fire type. Unluckily, that sentence is foreshadowing. As he glared, though, Max wasn't sure that would stop him.

"You disobey direct orders," Wigglytuff said. "Endanger your lives countless times with no oversight—not even a way to call for emergency help—reveal your obvious path to and from Lively Town. The hub of their activity. Incite uprisings with what amount to little more than pranks, and then, when you've done all of that, you decide to take a detour several miles North before reporting back."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Max said, holding onto the most serious face she could while bringing her paw to her forehead in a salute. Wigglytuff paused (she assumed, to consider strangling her). Whatever he considered, though, he then moved on to look at Codi.

"And now," Wigglytuff said. He watched Codi's tags as he turned to face her directly. Luckily, Codi had no trouble staying at attention. "You want me to let a soldier join our ranks."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Max and Ithos said in unison. She wanted to thank him for joining, but they obviously couldn't break formation. With a little probe of her awareness, she could feel he'd brought his paw to a salute just like hers.

Wigglytuff was not happy with them.

"Put your arms down before I have them removed," Wigglytuff said.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Max and Ithos said as they obliged.

Wigglytuff's eye twitched. He glared at the two of them, keeping a particularly harsh eye on Max. He walked around to stand in front of her, towering over. Max's tail flicked behind her. She was already losing what steam she had left standing upright like this, and her instincts not thrilled to have someone that much larger that close to her (especially not looking so angry).

"Can you tell me what in the name of Arceus you intended to do?" Wigglytuff asked.

"Help," Max said. She closed her eyes to steel herself against the instincts jabbering in her head and looked up at him. He had his arms behind him, glaring down at her. "The Expedition Society just doesn't have enough forces to run a continent. Once people knew that, they could just run them out."

"Run them out," Wigglytuff said. "It's interesting that you say that." He wouldn't take his eyes off her. He glared down with dispassionate rage. "Run them out to where?" Max gave a nervous glance to Ithos for some help, but he didn't have any idea either. Wigglytuff nodded, whatever point he wanted to make fully proven. He stepped back, and Max took a breath of relief.

After that breath, she looked up to see he'd watched her take it. He said nothing, but she felt the judgment in his glare. She forced herself not to snarl as he stepped back over to Codi again. "Soldier," he spat.

"Her name is Codi," Ithos said.

Without looking away from Codi, Wigglytuff said, "I can read." Max clenched the fist he couldn't see. "Had these rebellions begun while you were still under Fara's employ?" Codi nodded. "Yes, so, before you abandoned your station, surely you'd learned of to where they retreat. Is that right?"

"No, sir," Codi answered. She hadn't taken her eyes from the wall behind Wigglytuff the whole time he stood before her, behavior no doubt beaten into her. "Few got to retreat in the first place, and those that did were probably not willing to show their faces. To lose control of a town of civilians was seen as too humiliating to face the Expedition Society after."

"Oh, but there are ways to make up for a humiliation," Wigglytuff assured with a pointed glare at Ithos and Max. He turned around and walked over to his desk to take a breath. He ran a paw along the wood while watching the grain. "They've staged an invasion of the Mist and Sand Continents."

He paused, waiting for the information to hit the group. Unfortunately for him, they'd all already figured out that she wanted to go to the Tree of Life, so invading there only made sense. It wasn't the most direct route, but they probably wanted to control the surrounding territories as well. The difficulty that brought was why they'd bothered trying to return in the first place.

"As I'm sure you've put together," Wigglytuff growled, visibly disappointed they didn't seem shocked. "Every single Soldier that has lost a town to an uprising has been stationed in conquered areas of the Mist and Sand Continents."

He turned to face them, standing between Max and Ithos. "Do you expect simple civilians to be able to defeat thirty Soldiers?" he asked.

"Depends," Ash said. Wigglytuff's eye twitched again as he glared at Ash. Ash himself barely seemed to notice Wigglytuff was there. He was looking down with his paw to his chin. "How many citizens are in the town? The Expedition Society always relies on type advantages, but they might not be able to if they're dragging out anyone who's already failed.

"Even if they are, though, that doesn't leave anyone defenseless," he went on. "Plus, these soldiers aren't going to have the best moral if it's just a bunch of losers." He looked up to share a smirk with Wigglytuff, but Wigglytuff did not reciprocate. "Besides, not all soldiers will be on duty at the same-"

"My point is," Wigglytuff barked. He dragged his glare across them all. "Your little stunts have not been the pure victories you think they are. You've moved the problem down the line and put countless more people in danger." He paused his glare on Max.

"And while I understand that reason is a struggle for some of you," Max grit her teeth as he turned to Ithos and Ash, "I expect the rest of you to pick up the slack."

"Say that again," Ithos whispered. He clenched his paws tighter with every second, air hissing out between his teeth. Wigglytuff turned with a raised brow, and quickly stepped back. Max saw the reflection of Ithos' tail flame in Wigglytuff's eye first, and then watched it cast Ithos' shadow on the room in front of them. Smoldering smoke filled the room as the wood beneath his paws turned to charcoal.

"Go ahead," he hissed. He turned his head to face Wigglytuff and made the Guildmaster flinch back. "I want to hear you say that again."

"That's quite enough, Ithos," Wigglytuff said. He recovered from his flinch and regained his composure, keeping a nervous watch on Ithos' tail flame. "I meant no offense."

"Then apologize," Ithos said.

Wigglytuff narrowed his eyes before rolling them. "I believe you're misunderstanding the stakes of this situation," he said. Max nervously glanced at the growing patch of charcoal beneath Ithos until it stagnated. "These towns have all been put under occupation, their own governments shattered. Even if they, by some miracle, staged an insurrection, they have no authority of their own."

"Do you need a mayor to buy a tomato?" Max asked.

"Yes," Wigglytuff barked, clearly certain he had a better grasp of reason. "These people have no hope of escape. They have nowhere to run, now, because of your actions."

"I think you mean your inaction," Max said. Wigglytuff started to march over to her again, but instead found Ithos' arm in his way. Without a single spark, the touch of Ithos' scales singed a dark patch of black into Wigglytuff's fur. Wigglytuff stumbled back, and Ithos got back in line.

"Do not," Ithos said, not bothering to look at him, "touch her."

"Bastards," Wigglytuff growled. "Why shouldn't I throw you off the premises myself?"

"What, and stop the only people willing to help anyone?" Max asked.

Wigglytuff sneered at her, immediately ready to march up to her again. Ithos only needed to look at him to have him question that idea. With a glare, Wigglytuff stood a respectable distance away. "I do not have a legion of Soldiers," he sneered with a pointed glance to Codi. "If they wish to risk their lives, they may, but do you think we have the numbers necessary for a full frontal assault?"

"Do you think you have a choice?" Max asked. Before Wigglytuff could ask what she meant by that, she continued. "Fara isn't going for the Sand Continent and the South side of the Mist Continent. She barely had the monpower to handle one continent. What do you think her goal is, real estate?"

"And what do you think her goal is?" Wigglytuff asked.

"She's taken half of her army to the Tree of Life," Codi said. Wigglytuff's expression immediately darkened. His rage burned brighter for one second, then started to fizzle into smoke. "At least, those were the direct orders I got." Codi rolled her shoulders back, tilting her head side to side. Evidently, being deemed a hero had done wonders for her self-esteem. "Did you have any more reliable information?"

"I do not," Wigglytuff said. His longstanding sneer grew weary as he shook his head. No one could give him better information than that. The fact Codi exaggerated those orders she got, well, he never needed to know. The despair in Wigglytuff's eyes faded as he went around his desk to sit in his chair.

"Very well," Wigglytuff said. He clasped his paws together with his elbows resting on the desk. "Then go there." His rage had turned to sinister resignation. "If you can succeed in this mission, I'll forgive your transgressions and allow you to leave the Rescue Society honorably." He scanned the baffled terror on everyone's faces, then landed on Max. "Surely a human won't have trouble saving the world."

"I'm just a pikachu," Max hissed. Wigglytuff's expression remained unchanged. "This is suicide."

"This is destiny," Wigglytuff said. Max grit her teeth. "A human has only come down once before. When he did, he saved the world." Her most hated aspect of her fate came to roost, and Wigglytuff was weaponizing it against her. "You will do the same."

"With what?!" Max shouted. Her cheeks sparked in rage, and Wigglytuff's expression remained cool as stone. "Do you think I'm special? Do you think I've got some secret weapon I can just pull out and put an end to every fucking problem on Earth?" He watched her tantrum with disinterest as helplessness fed the flame of her rage. Everyone expected her to save the world.

"This is easy for you, isn't it?" she asked. She glared at the desk he sat behind before scanning the room. "Sit back and wait for everyone else to do your dirty work for you. Give worthless orders to follow, then leave the people who need the most help to die?"

A stab of hurt knocked into his steely gaze as he gripped his desk, and Max felt a physical thrill at the sight. She'd struck a nerve, and the sight was sweeter than honey with a rush that made her lightheaded. He wanted to send them to die. She wanted to hurt him before he could.

"You decide where the resources go," Max said. Ithos gave her a concerned look as he watched her expression turn to ecstasy. "You didn't want to send anyone to save those Tainted freaks, did you?" Wigglytuff hardened his expression, as good a confession as she'd ever get. "It's too big a risk, right? And besides, they don't deserve the help, do they?

"You think you're any different from Fara?"

The wood he'd been gripping snapped into a solid chunk in his paws. "I do," Wigglytuff whispered louder than a scream. "My life would be a lot easier if I was more similar to her." He dropped the chunk of wood on his desk and walked around his desk again.

"Maybe, then, I could order a legion of heartless beasts to end my troubles," he said, glaring at Codi as he did. "I could take the most depraved monsters that society lets slip through the cracks and mold them into weapons for my choosing. Instead of empowering Teams to improve themselves, I could break them down to component parts and reshape them to my own whims.

"I could take an evil monster and make it mine," he spat, never taking his eyes off Codi. "But I don't have Soldiers in my employ." He walked right up to Codi and waited, staring at her tightening fists.

"Ithos, Max, you've seen what they do," Wigglytuff said. "Monsters like that would never help a soul. We are a guild of Rescue Teams, not platoons and armies." He shook his head and walked over to tower over Max again. "I am not Fara, because I could never be so evil as her. I do not have Soldiers because I would never create beasts so despicable."

"What makes us despicable, do you think?" Codi asked, voice barely a whisper. "Is it when we hatch?"

"It's when you give up your soul for your own sick wants," Wigglytuff spat. "It's-"

"My Mom," Codi said. Wigglytuff paused as she looked right at him. "My Mom started showing symptoms. My options were join, or both of us would be exiled." Blood dripped from her paws from clenching them so tight. "I did what I had to do to survive. You sat back and let it happen.

"You could never create beasts so evil?" she said. "You sit and watch Fara reap and sew the ground you fertilize." Wigglytuff watched the blood dripping from her paws, almost seeming to show concern. "When did I become evil?" She stepped out of line and walked right next to him, leaving a trail of blood drops. "When I wanted to save Mom, or when I abandoned the closest thing I had to safety?"

Wigglytuff's mouth twisted down, his own anger softening ever so slightly. The pitiful display did nothing to placate Codi. "If you killed me right now, and everyone sat back and watched, would they be innocent?" she asked. Wigglytuff opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "What if they looked the other way and let it happen?"

"What do you expect me to do?!" Wigglytuff asked, voice cracking. "Send people to their death? Is that any better?"

"I don't think it's your choice to make," Codi said. "You know what Fara having the Tree of Life would mean, and so does everyone else." She flicked her paws open with a wince. "The whole Water Continent knows what it means for Fara to reign. Ordinary pokémon defeated those soldiers." She flicked the blood that hadn't dried onto his forepaws.

"Because those soldiers are just ordinary pokémon."

"Clear off the kitchen table darling
For on the kitchen table I must lie
I'm just tired for my wife
Served the banquet of my life
And I hope that I get old before I die"

Max sat awake in her bed. The sun hadn't set yet, but it would, soon. The day was coming to a close. They'd spent the last month preparing and building their numbers for this siege. Ash, apparently, knew exactly how to get there while also crippling Fara's ranks. People who knew strategy better than her seemed to like his ideas.

She was terrified for tomorrow. It was coming. The day she'd been dreading since she crash landed in a flare of combusting atmosphere.

The day Ithos fails.

Every single day, she'd committed to defying fate. She'd scoffed at inevitability like she knew better, certain that they had the power to change history. This story had already been written in the story of the world she'd saved defeating Eleos, but she knew she could rewrite it. It had been years, now, hadn't it? Her faith hadn't faltered once.

Until now.

She didn't have a reason to doubt all of a sudden. It was exactly what she'd faced this whole time. All that had changed was proximity. She'd been falling through this dream for so long, certain that she could spread her wings and fly until the moment before she hit the ground.

Four knocks rapped against the door before Ithos pushed it open, and she let out a breath of relief. He was exactly what she needed right now. Because he was the best, his arrival brought more than just the relief of his presence. The inhale after her breath pulled in an intoxicating sweetness that Max immediately couldn't get enough of. A delectable, cinnamon sweetness had her mouth watering with scent alone.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Ithos grumbled, closing the door behind him. As well as his bag, he had an unmarked cardboard box as thick as his arms and almost as wide as Max was tall. His beaming smile, though, suggested he wasn't all that disappointed.

He walked to the opposite side of their room and set the box on their exquisitely crafted dining table (a slab of wood atop four blocks of wood). Max followed behind, and he tilted his head back to look over his shoulder at her. His grin was impish, ecstatic to have caught her sneaking. He wasn't exactly right, though. As much as she'd love to rip that dessert open and chow down, she had a more important need to tend to.

Max ripped him away from the table and yanked him into a hug. When she wrapped her arms around him, he'd already done the same to her. She didn't bother hiding her whimper, already fully aware he'd know anyway. She needed him, and she didn't have the time to pretend to be fine.

Ithos tugged her up as he twisted, then fell back to set her in his lap without once breaking their embrace. Resting on his thighs, she had just enough extra height to rest her head on his shoulder. He brought a paw up to scratch at her ear, then dragged his claws down the back of her head. He rested his cheek on her head and whispered, "How ya holding up?"

"Bad," Max said.

"Max, come—oh," Ithos started to chuckle before the answer processed. "You were honest." Max pulled back to smirk up at him for once, rolling her eyes, and he wrapped his paw around her to pull her back into his embrace. "What's wrong?"

The brief entertainment wasn't enough respite to put off the terror permanently. "Tomorrow," Max said. Ithos nodded, probably expecting as much. "I don't know why." She shook her head, then stared off to the side as he pet down her back. "I guess it's what this was always leading to."

"Maybe," Ithos hummed. His tail bobbed side to side in time with his head, a sight so adorable that it made it really hard for her to keep moping. The bastard. "But doesn't that just give you more time to dread it?" Max nodded, keeping her head still so he wouldn't catch on to her watching his tail bob back and forth with its eager orange. Ithos squeezed her tighter, and she did the same as they reached an understanding.

It was more than a simple embrace, more than a mere expression of love. Though it was both, it mainly functioned as shorthand. It let Max say all of her building worries and fears without a word; it let Ithos silently tell her everything she needed to hear. She melted into his embrace, and he melted into hers.

Tears came, and she let Ithos' body heat hiss them away. She didn't need to know it would be okay. She just wanted to know that he was hers, and she was his. If she was doomed to face the horror of certainty, then she would take comfort in the warm constant of his love.

However, there was something else that had a less enduring warmth.

Max started to gently pull out of his embrace, plying him with scritches of her own while pointedly making sure not to glance at the dessert. She leaned forward to plant a kiss on his lips while keeping watch of his eyes. He would reciprocate, she knew, and he always closed his eyes to accept a kiss. The moment he did, she made her escape.

"Nnnope!" Ithos said, snatching her paws up before she could turn around. Max squeaked out her meaningless objections as he admonished her through his laughter. "I got that for us, so we will enjoy it together." Max eloquently grumbled in opposition as she pouted into his arms. "Yes, my sweetest, I know. It must be so upsetting for you. Mice so lovely shouldn't have to wait."

"Says the one forcing me to," Max grumbled with a chuckle.

Ithos loudly hummed, giving a theatric look up as he considered her point. "You have a point," he admitted. His eyes dipped down into despair before flashing to joy. "I know just how to make it up to you!"

He moved to get up and laughed when she immediately tried to use the opportunity to flee again. With another yank, he started rocking her side to side in a soothing embrace. "I will tie you to the bed if I have to," he giggled with a roll of his eyes.

"Hot," Max said. She would've agreed to anything, really, but she already knew he wouldn't go for it. She didn't know why he refused, but reluctantly, she did have to respect his consent.

"I-I-um…," Ithos stammered. Max realized he'd started warming up even further while her mind wandered and chuckled. "That's, um, well." Maybe it wasn't so hopeless as she thought. This was the most he'd ever lingered on anything remotely sexual, and it was taking the whole of his soul to resist combusting then and there. "Maybe, y'know, it could be."

"Yes," Max whispered. She pulled back just enough to drag her claw down his chest. Her eyes stayed in his while she grinned, drinking in the desperate nervousness of the unfamiliar (to him) territory. "It certainly would be." She let her paw continue to scrape down his scales and watched the building conflict in his eyes as she went lower, lower, and lower. Maybe she'd finally broken down his defenses.

"Er, I-I-I'm—we can't," Ithos stammered, quickly shuffling her off his lap. Of course it was too good to be true. Oh well. If he'd deny her one want, though, it was only fair she take another.

Max spun around and dashed for the source of the delectable smell. Her forepaws hadn't hit the floor before Ithos tackled her to the ground. They both tried to hold back their laughter until they felt the other do the same and let loose. Max pushed him off to pull him into a proper embrace, and they held each other through the laughs.

"All right, fine," Ithos laughed. "We can have it already." He pulled her into a kiss and pulled away. As he stood, he kept a very stern eye watching her to make sure she didn't try anything funny. "Go take your seat."

"Tease," Max said. "This how you get off?" As she complained about her unjust treatment, she happily went over to plop onto the stool at the table. "Denial?" She turned to watch him for any telling trembling as he finally started opening the stupid box. Unfortunately, he just gave her a slightly befuddled glance, so she let out a frustrated sigh. "Or, you're just not interested."

"I am," Ithos immediately said before he could talk himself out of admitting it. Max blinked. Progress, this was progress. Slow, but progress. "I-it's just. Um." He pulled a massive, steaming pie out of the box and set it on the table before reaching back into the box to pull out a spatula, two plates, and two forks. "Let's eat!"

"Sounds great!" Max said, beaming from red patch to red patch. Not only was this the most promising he'd ever been towards finally fucking, but that pie was out of the box. Its once nascent scent now filled the room. The thick aroma of apple billowed out of its top, bringing ambrosial tones of sweet and savory to every corner. She hoped its scent lingered in the room for the rest of time.

The sight itself, as well, was beyond beautiful. A lattice of crisp pastry held back a burgeoning apple filling that bulged out steaming diamonds. More than pure goo, she could just make out the shapes of apple slices through the thick, dark goo.

In fact, she could even make out specks of color. He must've had it special made for her. How could he possibly know she preferred the skins remained? They'd never once had anything this extravagant, but then again, she couldn't be surprised. Despite Max knowing him for years before he met her, it turned out Ithos was just as capable of knowing her better than he had any right to.

Ithos pulled the spatula across the crust covering the pie. Its subtle, perfect scrape echoed through the room and didn't leave the slightest mark. Max watched in desperate ecstasy as he teased the middle of the pie once, twice, and finally pressed the spatula through the crust.

It cracked and crumbled in on itself perfectly, little fractures and flakes exploding into each other without leaving further than an inch from where they came. The little crumbs sank into the filling they'd fought so hard to contain, the crust's integrity finally breaking against the force of the serving utensil. Ithos flawlessly cut the spatula right through the center in one elegant motion.

Max had entirely forgotten her other physical needs in the face of this heavenly dessert. Steam hissed out of every perfect cut Ithos gave, the insulated insides releasing their hidden heat once he exposed them to the air. The pie could never have gotten cold. Like Ithos, it must have had its own internal flame.

Eagerness took a backseat to awe, desperation to reverence. The sight before her was too beautiful to believe, the aroma too delectable to devour. She watched it in wide eyed wonder, too awestruck to move.

Ithos chuckled as he watched her. His tail behind him billowed in excitement as he appreciated her restraint. The same beautiful sight sat before him, the wonderful performance of the spatula his own instrument, but he had his own beauty to drink in. Just watching her reaction seemed to bring him just as much joy, if not more.

He pushed the spatula under a slice to rest for a second and went around to Max's side of the table. Grabbing her fork, he reached around to press it against her paw. She didn't move to accept it, still too consumed by the sight.

With a gleeful chuckle, he went around to push each necessary nubbin down around the fork. He made sure she had a good grip on it, then planted a kiss on her cheek before returning to his station. He brought her plate with him as he went, then stared right at her as he grabbed the spatula. "Ready?" he asked with a gleam in his eye.

"Piiiii," Max purred, eyes shining in rhapsodic anticipation. Her instincts had no hold over her tongue, but simple English wasn't enough to express her joy. She needed a language more basic, carnal to express its true depths.

Ithos slowly pulled the spatula up, bringing a slice with it. Streams of steam spewed out as its true thickness was revealed. It was at least as thick as the arm lifting it, the weight evident in the little trembles as Ithos struggled to put it onto her plate. It wasn't difficult for someone so strong as him, but it was simply too heavy not to engage every muscle of his forearm.

It slid onto her plate, finally showing its first signs of imperfection. As it fell from heaven, the motion of God's hand abandoning it left it the slightest bit ajar. No longer free of sin, it was damned, this corruption of its form only the beginning until it became little more than crumbs and residue left behind on the plate.

Of course, Max wouldn't be letting even a single speck of it escape her.

Ithos placed her plate in front of her, and still, she couldn't bring herself to attack it. Not yet, at least. Its beauty, even so corrupted and depraved, was beyond that of the Earth. She licked her lips in anticipation.

However, awe has its time, and restraint its place. Scent and sight, pleasurable in their own right, have very, very innate purposes to them. The pleasure a scent brings is in the anticipation of the food just found. It begins the biological process of digestion even before the food is eaten, stimulating the salivary glands and readying the stomach for its next mission. To hold that back would be difficult for anyone.

Max, personally, saw that resistance as a waste of time.

Once Ithos sat across from her with his own slice, she demolished her first slice on principle. It was delicious, gorgeous. It deserved to be consumed with the ravenous rapture of the mouse it had enchanted at least once, so she happily obliged.

All at once, the harrowing sweetness foretold by its scent collided with the totality of its flavors. It was delectable, almost too much so. The crust had as wonderful crumple and crunch in her mouth as it did under the spatula. It shattered against her teeth and soaked up all the caramelized filling surrounding it, flooded and corrupted by the very thing it was once meant to contain.

Aside from texture, the taste was pure bliss. She could taste the layers of butter in and on its crust necessary to keep it from sticking to the pan. A perfect, creamy savory that sat around the wonderful spice of cinnamon.

Both stood sturdy beneath the absolute majesty of it all: apples. Each slice squished beneath her teeth with the slightest vestiges of the crunch stolen from them in baking. They broke apart in explosions of sweetness that revealed the personality and flavor in each. The sour apples had sweetened just enough to truly deliver the promise of their tang. Rather than eliminate the sour, the sweet did a perfect job elevating the sour to heights neither alone could reach, tang the mortar that held their foundation together.

"Chaaaaaa," Max squeaked. Her eyes were distant in overwhelming pleasure. She rested her cheek on her arm to lavish the remains in licks. Eternities had passed in the time it took to eat her first slice.

Ithos had taken one bite of his. "Hold on," he chuckled. Max had no time to embarrass herself over the display because he was already watching her with his widest smile. He eagerly hopped around the table, snatched up her plate and plopped some more pie on it for his darling pikachu. "Have some more."

Max wasn't sure what ecstasy she squeaked, but she certainly did squeak it. Her tiny little heart could not take so delightful an experience all at once again, however. The one slice had thoroughly filled her, but she'd never taken that as a reason to stop before, and she wouldn't let it now.

Her tail fwapped about behind her in glee as she sat up and set about getting some of that pie on her fork. With the care of a mother, she cut through the treat and balanced it atop the cutlery and brought it into her waiting lips. As she chewed redundantly through the ambrosial delicacy, she brought her paws to her cheeks in a failed attempt to contain her smile.

Her hindpaws kicked beneath the table in ecstasy while unintelligible squeaks of joy came like steam boiling from a kettle. Ithos picked at his own slice as a matter of courtesy, but his eyes stayed transfixed by the love of his life. His tail's flame burst in little bouts of joy with her every squeak, squirm, and squeal of ecstasy while he drank in the sight. Her nourishment came from the pie, and his came from the sight of her.

"So, do you have any idea what day it is?" Ithos asked. Max was simply too infatuated with her treat to answer, but that didn't bother him. He continued smiling as he watched her. If anything, it seemed to fill him with even more joy. He loved to help and bring joy, and he'd clearly succeeded tonight.

He'd said what he said, though. While delayed, it did reach Max's ears eventually. She considered the thought between wiggles of satiety, but no good answer came. "Saturday?" she asked.

"What? Oh, well, yes," Ithos said. He shook his head with a chuckle and a roll of his eyes. "Is it just any Saturday, though?" A bit of the joy in her expression started to fade, and her ears started to fall. She really didn't want to think about that right now. Ithos' eyes popped open, and he nervously scratched the back of his neck. "Oh, not tomorrow."

"Oh, thank God," Max mumbled. She eagerly went back to her delicacy, tail shivering in delight as she tasted it again. After some thought, she shrugged, "Yeah, just Saturday," and grabbed another bite to roll around in her mouth.

Ithos deflated a bit, but his smile stayed strong. He started to wiggle in as much excitement as her to the point she even paused her eating. "What if I told you it was a special Saturday?" he asked.

"I'd probably believe you," Max said with a smirk. She raised a brow at him for the odd question, but realized her mistake when he furrowed his brow. "Oh, sorry." Luckily, he only chuckled at her flub, so she chuckled as well. With an exaggerated breath, she rested her chin on her paw in thought before ultimately acquiescing. "All right, I'll bite." She smiled. "What's so special about today?"

Ithos started to grin with dangerous levels of snark. Max started to (not) seriously worry for his health as she waited for his answer. He took his time, though. When he gave the answer, he didn't even open his mouth to do it. He started humming a tune.

Max froze. She instantly recognized that tune. In fact, the only two people who knew it were in that room. He remembered it perfectly, even though it had been a year since she'd accidentally sang for him.

It clicked. She almost slapped herself when she realized. It had been a year.

"Born of shame, we hide, Dead Flame," he sang. As he did, he abandoned his half-eaten portion to dance around to her side of the table. He watched her eyes as she put the pieces together with a grin uncompromised by his singing. "With one gone, the other stays." He shook his head as he took her paws in his (guiding her right over her plate so she could drop her fork).

Max shook her head with a grin. He'd never been quite this romantic before. It was almost too much, but she loved every bit of it. Even if his proud smile made her laugh, the sheer sincerity kept the chuckles in check. "You remembered that song?" she asked.

"Of course," Ithos said. Sparks of light embarrassment bounced down her cheeks. "I loved it." Then, just before it could cross a line into too sincere, she made out the beginnings of his signature, knowing smirk. "Also, I mean, those lyrics kept making more and more sense." The break of tension didn't come. He was still sincere, even as he teased her. "You're awfully literal."

"You try improvising," Max said. They shared a laugh, and it only emboldened them as they stared into each other's eyes. Each found themselves in the other, eager to drink in the entirety of their existence. That included joy, laughter, tears, all of it, because they were all parts to the puzzle of love.

"I wanted to do something for our anniversary," Ithos said. Max wanted to roll her eyes, but that would mean looking away from his for even an instant. Because of course he'd do something special for their anniversary. He was too sweet not to (even if she'd never thought of tracking it). He seemed to know how predictable he was, because he chuckled a bit as he stared into her eyes.

"Well, thank you," Max said. This pie was divine, a perfect anniversary gift. Yet, a gleam in Ithos' eye suggested there was more to it than that.

"You remember Glitterion?" Ithos asked. Without taking his eyes out of hers, he let go of her right paw and leaned over to pull a small package out of his bag. "Well, I had my reasons." Her heart skipped a beat while she looked at the package. He winked and set it on the table to grab her right paw again.

"Max," Ithos said. His voice was softness and tenderness lain over a soul too eager for its own good. "Ever since we met, you've brought me the happiest days of my life." He watched her eyes and relished in the sudden look of panicked realization. It was exactly what he'd said in the Voidlands. It was real. She panicked and, without letting go of his paw, pinched him to check if she was dreaming.

He pinched her back with a chuckle and a wink. It hurt. This was real.

"Even before we were dating, you've been wonderful." Every part of her tried to dispute this. She had no idea what to think. Even after years with a heart at the end of her tail, she found herself panicking that she wasn't the one proposing (as if any other part of her still cared about tradition).

Every part of her mind raced, trying so desperately to discredit what was right in front of her eyes. Ithos' cheeks started to flush, and he gently squinted his left eye. He was trying to remember the speech he'd prepared. He'd prepared her a speech.

As it turned out, though, lapsing memory wasn't why his cheeks had flushed. "I know you already know, but uh," he nervously chuckled, finally lapsing in eye contact for just a moment. "Before we met, I was kind of a loser."

Max went to reassure him, but there was already a knowing chuckle on both of their lips. It was, unfortunately, the truth. "I'd never had someone like you."

He looked her over. Despite so long wearing nothing but her scarf and fur, she suddenly felt naked. Yet, with him, she couldn't bring herself to mind. "Someone who thought I could do it. Someone who believed in me as much as I tried to pretend I believed in myself. Someone who helped me see what good I had to offer." He pulled himself closer and rested his paws on her shoulders instead. She rested hers on his hips.

"Trying to get you to trust me took some work," he said with a wry smirk. She couldn't disagree, sparks of embarrassment bouncing down her cheeks. "But it was so worth the effort." She tried to look away to dab her tears, but he caught her chin with a paw.

"I always knew I loved you." He dabbed her tear away with a thumb. "The more I worked to get you to let me see of you, all those fears you tried to hide, for my sake or yours, the more I knew I was the luckiest guy in the world." It was so corny, but her traitorous tears wouldn't stop. Her heart was aching against her chest, every word leading to the inevitability she anticipated as hard as she dreaded it.

If he didn't hurry this up, she was going to grab that ring and propose herself.

With a scratch behind her ear, he chuckled. He gave a mournful glance towards her growing impatience before smiling and rolling his eyes. "Fine, fine," he grumbled. With an ornery sigh, he reached over to pick the package back up.

"I hope you'll be glad we went to Glitterion," he chuckled, plucking a tiny black box out of the package. He looked up and to the side in concentration before nodding as he knelt in front of her. Even on her stool, he had a few inches on her. They shared a chuckle and moved on, already well aware of their differences in size.

Holding it in one paw, he grabbed the top of the box with the other, and said, "Max."

"YES!" Max squeaked the instant his lips moved. The box was still closed. She quickly threw both paws over her mouth while Ithos gave her the most exasperated look she'd ever seen from him. They both tried to hold back their chuckles until he finished proper.

"Max," he pointedly repeated. He watched her with a stern look, and she rolled her eyes. His vengeance for the interruption had already begun, though. "Love of my life." Max narrowed her eyes, now having to try even harder to hold back her chuckles. "My sweetest shock." Even he could barely hold back his laughter. "Pudgiest of pikachu." She snatched at the box and met only air as he yanked it back.

"Fine, fine!" Ithos laughed. He glared at her with a smile until she finally sat back with a huff. With an all new sense of urgency, he brought the box out in front of him and opened it.

It was beautiful. Too beautiful. She desperately hoped he didn't spend all of his money on this monster, and that dread only deepened when she remembered his winnings from the bet with Ash. He couldn't be that irresponsible with money, could he?

"Max," he said. "Will you marry me?"

Max threw herself into him and wrapped her arms around him as she squeaked, "YES!" The tackle almost sent the ring flying from his grasp, but he snapped the package shut just in time. She didn't care what would happen tomorrow, or even after. Time be damned, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She buried her tears in his scales as she let out sobbing laughter.

Ithos wrangled himself out of her hold just enough to wriggle his arms around to grab her right paw. He started pulling it forward with one paw while the other pulled the ring out of its box. Realizing what he was trying to do, she tugged her right paw back. He raised a brow in confusion until she presented her left with a giggle.

"Humans," Ithos grumbled. "This is hell to remember." He shook his head with a roll of his eyes as he grabbed her left paw and slipped the ring on. "It's worth it for you, though."

Max would've accepted a hollowed out mint for her ring, but she appreciated going the extra mile. She extended her paw to look at it and almost choked, as if the light shining into her eyes had also wrapped around her throat. As if the diamond in the center wasn't enough—which it absolutely was, to be clear—it had two sapphires embedded on each side.

Blue. Her second favorite color. Her favorite, embarrassingly, being yellow, so blue definitely worked better for the purpose.

"It's gorgeous," Max cooed. She gave it due deference, then shimmied herself up to plant a kiss on his muzzle. Already, she couldn't help her excitement building. With a shared glance, she could already tell he knew what she wanted. After the initial peck, she pressed against his lips again and let her tongue escape to pilfer the bits of pie she could. Surely, now that they were engaged, he would let her.

As she started trying to tease her tongue through her lips, she felt a familiar grip on her hips pulling her back. She saw red for a moment, but quickly made sure to calm herself down. He'd gotten her pie, that was basically sex.

She filled her lungs with as much air as they could carry. Once they were so full it hurt, she started very, very gradually blowing it all out through a cold, thin stream. Despite that, no amount of breathing exercises could get her past the gaping absence of this perfect night's perfect end.

"Ithos," she whispered. She turned her head to rest her chin on his chest, looking directly into the eyes he was using to look at the wall. "Sincerely. Why not?"

Ithos tried to shrink away from the question. He started squirming under her until she had to slide off and help him sit up. He used the new position to nervously rub his paws over each other while looking anywhere that wasn't at her. "L-look, it's, I really want to," he stammered. As much as she wanted to comfort him with a hug, any closer and she'd combust.

"Then let's just do it," Max said. She did her best to wear a patient smile. He didn't make it easy for her, though.

"We can't," Ithos said.

Max dragged her paws down her face. She could do this. She could be patient. She wasn't getting desperate in the slightest. "Ithos, whatever you're worried about," she said, "I promise-"

"Kids," Ithos blurted out. Max froze. "I-I just, it's. We can't!" He whimpered, throwing his paws out as his head tried to shrink into his torso. "I'm not ready for it! I-I want some, sure, and I'd love to have some with you, but now?! Are you kidding?!" He shook his head while Max flopped onto her belly and pulled her tail over her face. "Wh-what if we're fighting Fara, a-and you have to lay-"

"Ithos," Max whispered. His shouting silenced the instant she did. He was smart. So, so, unbelievably clever. The most amazing, wonderful mind she'd ever had the pleasure of getting to know.

That did nothing to stop him being the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.

"We cant," Max said. She took a deep breath to calm herself down as well as let what she'd said sink in. "Are you familiar with egg groups?" He shook his head. Max let out a deep, long sigh. That might not even be the terminology they used, but she already knew he wouldn't be familiar with the local lingo, either. "Well, not all pokémon are compatible enough to get the other pregnant.

She pulled her tail back and looked up at the realization already darkening his expression. He knew. It was time to deal the final blow. "Like, for example, a charmander can't get a pikachu pregnant."

Ithos stared at the ground for one long, harrowing moment. Once he'd done that enough, he put his face in his paws and let out a deep, guttural groan as the weight of his own idiocy crushed him. His father, evidently, never saw fit to teach him about the basics of reproduction.

He reluctantly pulled his paws down to look through the gaps between his fingers. "I'm stupid, aren't I?" he asked.

"Yep," Max said. Ithos gave only a solemn nod in agreement. Max wished he'd be a bit more ashamed about it, but she couldn't really blame him. From the beginning, she'd known he was sheltered. Of course Nuzleaf would hide the most basic information from him in an attempt to keep him afraid of experimenting with what is, for many, a fundamental part of life.

It wasn't all bad, though. Now, Ithos had Max. If nothing else, Max was very knowledgeable in this particular subject.

She could show him exactly how stupid he'd been.

(A/N: That's right, I'm coming out ahead of the allegations. Next chapter's the sex chapter. I've decided to upload it the same day as this one so that people who aren't interested don't lose a chapter this week, and uploads will resume as normal Saturday. Just need to finish editing it ;w;.

The sex is going to be just as valuable to the story as any of the combat has been, but it's up to you what you feel comfortable reading. You'll still be able to understand the story without it, don't worry. Read it if you're interested, don't if you're not.)