The Dustbin

Day 52: Extracurricular Activity Part 1

30th of Guardian Moon, Morning

Heavy steps were heard clacking down the hall as it quickly approached the door before it was then swung open.

"PROFESSOR KARNA!" Constance cried out into the dim closet. Further in, the sounds of metal being tinkered could be heard in tandem with the mice's squeaks.

"Our final finger?" Karna nonchalantly remarked, much to the disgraced heiress's consternation.

"Would it trouble you to sound at least partially-concerned?" she sighed.

"Been through and seen much worse, milady," he semi-sarcastically replied in his usual dry tone, moreso due to the gathered dust in the storage where the [Master Seals] were kept at. "You want to rattle me, then surprise me for once, to a man who's seen and done everything."

Constance heaves out another sigh of frustration before walking out. "... I'll gather the others," she remarked snappily, "... as per your prior suggestion."

Clangs were heard from behind, with the heiress spotting Karna now on his feet, his arms now carrying the [Master Seals] that he spent the past days modifying with his touch. "... Well don't stop on my account," he smirked as the cloaked Professor walked past her without hesitation. "Lead the way."

"So are they done?" Constance asked as she and Karna left the closet.

"Oh no, far from it," he replied, much to her horror. "... I've underestimated how intricate and fragile these things were, so I ended up overloading dozen and a half of them, used the two-thirds of the inventory as spare parts to replace the broken parts, and about a quarter being destroyed in the crossfire of the occasional flare-ups of mana."

Constance's heart stopped for a second before snapping back into the real world. "... How many of the [Master Seals] are left?"

"... I might've used," Karna then looked to the side as sweat dripped from his brows, "... all of them."

Constance's expression then immediately contorted in an expression that haphazardly fused emotions of volcanic anger, alien flabbergast, aghast horror, and serene calm. The mere mention of this madman burning through the entirety of the Abyss's reserve supply of [Master Seals] in case of a large-scale invasion in less than a week just to modify a few was guaranteed to put him on the grounds of the underground's "justice" (read: mob justice/lynching).

But, her better judgement dictated that as much as an act of retaliation was indeed valid, there were bigger things than this fuck-up to worry about.

"... Not another word," she hissed. "Got it?"

Karna mentally sighs as he'd registered the fact that she'd in fact, forgiven him for his transgressions. "... Yes ma'am."

Neither side were entirely honest with their intentions behind their subtle words. In fact, both of their "subtlety" aimed at each other were about as subtle as a lit powder keg going off in the middle of a sheep corral at Leicester Alliance's Territory.

To Constance, she was about to murder him weren't for the fact that not only he was an employed staff member of Garreg Mach, but as a spellcaster, he was her superior in both raw power and mastery.

To Karna, it was just another day, despite there being someone's (and countless others) life being on the line riding on their operation.

At the Agarthan's Base Camp...

"Seriously, couldn't we've just let the other guys lower on the totem pole to saw off that sod's finger?" Myson remarked as he walked in with a bloody bonesaw in his hands.

"Don't tell me that a distinguished Sage like yourself is afraid of a little blood," smirked Bias, parading in her underwear without shame or irony (being an A-cup).

"No, it's because he wouldn't sit still," the Warlock groaned before sitting down and throwing his coat onto his petite contemporary. "... For a supposed vegetable, he kinda has a bit of life in him."

"Eh, might be twitch reflex," dismissed the Valkyrie as she pulled off the cloak over her face. "That said, we're closing in on the deadline before we make good on the threat."

"The so-called Lost Mausoleum, right?" said Myson. "... Anything new yet?"

"... Nope," she replied before throwing Myson's cloak back into his face. "All duds. Seriously, I've seen layouts of ant colonies less convoluted than the Abyss!"

"And the few people that know us think we're mole-people," Myson snickered at the irony. "Shot in the dark, but maybe we need to hit bedrock?"

"Aw crapbaskets," Bias sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Don't tell me we need to transfer an entire boring machine-"

Her tangent was then interrupted by the faint sound of metal creaking followed up by wet footsteps.

"... Myson," asked the Valkyrie. "... Do you have the keys with you?"

The Warlock then pats himself down all over himself before pulling out the key ring. "Well, it's not stolen, that's for sure."

"THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SOUND?!" she screeched before picking him up by both of his ankles and throttling his crotch, revving her heel into his groin.

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! WE'LL GO CHECK IT OUT!" he cried out in pain as the Valkyrie let the Warlock go. As the two walked (Bias speed-walked, Myson stumbled as he nursed his bruised testicles) towards where the sound came from, the Sages stumble upon a knocked out Dark Mage slumped against a wall.

"... You wanna explain this?!" Bias pointed at their unconscious subordinate.

Myson then runs into where the cage keeping Aelfric in, only for him to find said cage with a new occupant crumpled inside its bars.

"... Okay, how?" he remarked as the Dark Mage inside groaned back into the waking world. "Oh good. You, explain."

"... Son of a bitch loosened his ropes a sharp rock behind the bars," he began as he tried to reorient himself. "... I was only getting close to clean out his shit before he grabbed me by the heels and put me in here."

"And that guy outside?" Myson asked.

"He was supposed to stand guard in case things went to shit," both Myson and the Dark Mage then hear coughing coming from outside. "... Shit. Not even our latest Chrome could resist an arm triangle choke."

"SO THAT FUCKING YONO GAVE US THE SLIP?!" Bias cried out from outside. "Well, he couldn't have gone that far!"

"I'll mobilize my boys," Myson remarked. "We'll fucking run through the whole underground with a razor-toothed comb if we have to-!"

"No need," spoke a calm voice, revealing itself to be none other than Cleobulus. "Panic is rather unbefitting of those declared to be the Seven Sages. But alas, part of it is my undoing due to my lack of disclosure."

"Disclosure of what?!" Bias shouted before she put the two and two together. "... You deliberately let him loose?"

The Dark Flier nods in acknowledgement.

"For what?" Myson asked.

"For this," Cleobulus then takes out a small crystal ball to portray an image seen from Aelfric's point of view. "... My Geas has a side effect. It leaves a trail of ambient residual mana behind the one inflicted. Very useful for unearthing an individual's secrets without doing the dirty work ourselves."

"... And we're using him for what?" Myson asked without certainty.

Bias mulls for a few moments before figuring out what Cleobulus was talking about. "Oh!" she pounded her fist atop of her palm in realization. "He's leading us to the real Lost Mausoleum out of all the bogus hiding holes!"

"We'll mobilize, as per Sage Myson's suggestion," spoke the Dark Flier. "But rather than sending an entire army, we'll drip-feed ourselves and strike when the Dustbin and their friends inevitably come to the same location," she then hands Myson her orb with Aelfric's point of view. "Myson, you and Solon will take Kronya and a few others with you two to act as an advance scout. Bias and I will operate the warp panel to send in reinforcements and provide evacuation if the situation becomes dire enough to warrant a retreat."

"Wait, the old man's here?" Myson pointed.

"Been here all along, whippersnapper," grumbled the old Sage as he suddenly made himself known between Myson and Bias, much to the two's surprised yelps and recoiling.

"... Okay, how?" asked Bias.

"Try spending 50 years living under a constructed identity," he slightly smirked at his younger contemporaries. "You'll learn to blend into your surroundings without having to wear a disguise with my experience. Those poor ignorant beasts didn't see me at all in the streets of Enbarr, thinking that I was just an old man, hapless as the rest of them."

"Wait, didn't some people called it 'Embarr'?" asked Myson. "Since, you know, 'ember'-pun?"

"Trust me, it confused me too," the old Sage pointed out before going quiet for a few moments. "... So, about our mobilization?"

"Right," Myson then hurried off to where Kronya and the others were stationed at. "HEY EXHIBITIONIST! GET THE GUYS AND YOURSELF READY! WE'RE HEADING OUT!"

Bias then looked towards Solon. "... So about Anacharsis?"

"She'll be deployed when we reach 'that' phase of our plan," the old Sage reassured. "Our first critical step is to make sure Kronya slips in unnoticed. I'll make sure of it."

"And Conquistador shall be deployed as rear support?" Cleobulus suggested.

"And will remain unseen by the enemy, as intended," he acknowledged. "Plaguebearer shall be deployed during 'that' phase, bringing him with him 'that' to ensure the success of our plan."

Cleobulus chuckles as she and Bias saw off the old Sage. "... And you have my interrogation and investigative skills to thank."

Solon chuckles amusedly in response as he went towards where Myson gathered his men (and Kronya) at. "... When you're right, you're right, I suppose."

At the Abyss...

"Alright boys and girls," greeted Karna as everyone involved in this final expedition underground gathered in Aelfric's study. "I hope all had your affairs sorted out resolved. If not, then I might feel some tinge of sympathy in my dead little heart when one of you die horrible deaths."

Byleth shoots him a glare before clearing her throat. "In any event, today's the 30th," she stated. "Our objective is now to make our way to the deepest level of the Abyss."

"The Lost Mausoleum," Yuri revealed as he then placed down Aelfric's emergency book before opening its contents. "Our missing Cardinal has left some subtle clues in his text in case of his disappearance. For someone like me, I've practically deciphered all of this in my sleep. Believe it or not, this so-called 'Lost Mausoleum' has so many bogus locations to throw off any would-be treasure hunters and graverobbers sniffing around. The real location is about a few miles underground."

"How many miles?" Edelgard asked, doing her best to hide the fear through her commanding tone.

"About 5 miles underground," Yuri answered. "But given that length is vertical..."

Byron then does a mental calculus before coming up with an answer. "... Everyone," he spoke, "if you all wish to keep your collective sanity intact, then don't even think about the number of miles that we're actually going to have to travel."

"Surely, it cannot be that bad-!" Dimitri remarked before he was then shushed by Cyrus.

"Take his word for it and say nothing else, Prince Pork-Chop," Cyrus replied completely and seriously. "After you've crossed Sreng and Almyra's deserts on foot, then come and talk to me."

Dedue intervenes by separating his liege from the Battuian. "... And I suppose you have a solution to that?"

"There's a carriage parked just before our entryway," Topaz pointed out, sitting at her own corner of the meeting spot, separated from everyone else sans Karna (and his handiwork). "I already compiled a plan of who will walk first before switching out to a reserve group that will help us keep moving."

"And in case shit hits the fan, provisions will be on board," Karna announced. "Share it out, and don't accuse me of hoarding. I can't stomach solid food even if my life depended on it."

"Wasn't planning to," Claude pointed out before turning to Topaz. "So who's walking first?"

"Me, Sorcha, Vidar, Balthus, Yuri, Hilda, Dedue, Edelgard, and Byleth shall take point," the Hassashin explained before she then took out a bronze hourglass. "After an hour, we'll switch out to Dimitri, Claude, Ashe, Hubert, Marianne, Constance, Hapi, Selene, and Byron."

"Wait," Ashe raised his hand. "What about Cyrus and Professor Karna?"

"Cyrus will be the one handling Darius, who's pulling the carriage," Topaz explained. "As for Professor Karna, he'll be situated in the carriage for the duration of our journey due to him having yet still finish modifying the [Master Seals]."

"Can't you guys just go in as is?" Hilda remarked. "I mean, you guys are pretty strong enough as is."

"No shame in always wanting more," Karna remarked as he kept tinkering with the [Master Seals], much to Constance's breached expression of horror was noticed by Hubert. "... That, and I enjoy the challenge."

"If it is a challenge, then why not ask Byron to do your work for you?" Hubert asked.

"He's missing an arm and just got replaced with a prothetic," the Professor replied before looking towards the aforementioned student. "... Speaking of, how was your rehab?"

"... Still unsatisfactory," he growled as he clumsily flexed his wooden and metal digits connected with internal wires acting as his articulation mechanisms. "... Day to day basis, I can do basic things, like pick up a cup and drink from it, but otherwise, I'm better off strapping a [Silver Shield] onto the forearm just so that I can use it for something."

"Wait, didn't you have other shields like that [Hexlock Shield]?" asked Marianne.

"Got confiscated durin' dis munth," growled Sorcha as she leaned against her ridiculously-proportioned [Adharma] blade. "... Amongst our other shite."

"Them's the breaks," Cyrus grumbled. "Not the first time we've been at disadvantage!"

Linhardt then loosens a yawn before speaking. "... I didn't hear my name."

"Linhardt, you're staying on board until you get rid of your narcoleptic tendencies permanently," Byleth ordered. "The last thing we need to happen is for one of us to go missing."

"I'll keep him under my watch," Hubert reassured.

"Alright," Karna clapped his hands before standing up. "Anything else we need to cover before we set out to our probably-hardest fight of our fucking lives?"

Hapi raised her hand. "What about the last finger-?"

"Meeting's adjourned!" Karna interrupted as he took the [Master Seals] into his arms before heading out the door. "EVERYONE! MOVE YOUR BUTTS!"

Balthus blinked before getting up. "... Wow," he commented as he picked Hapi up like a cat. "If he hates Aelfric that much, then why is he going through all this to save him?"

"Only the Goddess knows, my man," Yuri remarked as he held open the door for the others to get out of the study and towards their excursion point.

Sothis, unseen by the others sans Byleth looked at Yuri puzzlingly. ... I sure as hell don't!

As the group then all gathered where Karna was waiting within the carriage rigged by Darius, the group then check for their belongings to see if they're in place as the following groups chose to walk and the ones who are chosen to walk afterwards pile into the trolley basket in between the barrels of provisions and Karna's [Master Seals].

"Everyone got all of their shit on their person?" Karna barked.

"Nothing's missing," Byleth replied.

"Healing items?"

"Check."

"Backup weapons?"

"Check."

"Map and [Torches]?"

"Ready to light and on hold on the former," Yuri replied.

"Chalk and quill pens?"

"Check."

"Darius with a full belly?"

"Fed him with the freshest grass and heartiest of grains!" Cyrus grinned proudly. "He's ready to ride around the whole world and back!"

"Alright!" Karna barked. "Let's bounce!"

Cyrus then snaps Darius' bridles, the wagon pulled by the gigantic horse as the expedition group began their final journey into the Abyss's depths. Upon entering into the tunnels, the [Torches] were then lit through the suffocating darkness to resume their odyssey towards the underworld. With the journey now in full swing, Karna then sets down the bronze hourglass to set the timer.

As the group continued their march through the dark, with only Yuri's knowledge and instincts acting as their sole guiding force, Byleth then looks towards Karna, his hands still tinkering with the five [Master Seals] like a master clocksmith. "... So, you done yet?"

"I do not know," Karna remarked, "does the bats living here shit themselves in their sleep?"

Byleth and Sothis both rolled their eyes at his remark. A simple "no" would've sufficed.

"Moving on," Karna continued as he kept his hands busy, "just before you guys made it onto the carriage, I slipped a note to the Abysskeeper and had him deliver a message on my behalf."

"For what?" she asked.

Karna smiles before turning back towards her, leaving her with no answer given.

"... Dick."

At the Other Road Leading Towards the Lost Mausoleum...

At the other segment of winding tunnels, Myson, Solon, and Kronya led a detachment of Dark Mages and a pair of Dark Bishops through the darkness, with Solon possessing Cleobulus's orb detecting Aelfric's trail of residual mana.

"... Are we there yet?" asked Kronya.

"Nope, not even close," the Warlock replied as he and the others kept walking. "So shut your hole and keep walking!"

The Agarthans continue to walk in silence. And continued thus in a monotonous fashion, keeping a sharp eye on the trail left behind by the Cardinal acting as their metaphorical canary in the coal mine.

"... Curious," Myson remarked, "but old man, were you in on this plan that Cleo cooked up?"

"Indeed, I was made privy," the old Sage replied before stopping to re-check his trail, finding that the mana left behind now stretched into both sides of the forked road. "... Cheeky."

"Don't tell me that he's also aware of our plan and threw us off twice!" Kronya panicked.

"Fret not," Solon replied as he placed his hand onto the ground to check how far each trail led. "This is merely a beast's trick performed by a beast. Archaic methods asides, there is a valid wisdom."

The trail on the right stretched further than the one leading to the left.

"This way," Solon then led the group to the rightmost path.

As they continued to walk down the chosen path, Myson looks back at Kronya, and began to speak to her. "So, Kronya."

The Assassin peeped in surprise, much to the surprise of many, prompting more than a few Dark Mages to stifle their laughter lest they give themselves away (to both their superiors, including Kronya, much to their dismay, and Aelfric, who might be nearby).

"... Okay, gonna cut the crap and say it straight," the Warlock sighed before confronting her. "But what the hell's been with you lately? Your performance has gone to shit since last month!"

"I... uh... I uhhh..." Kronya stammered uncontrollably.

"Hey hey hey, I ain't mad or anything," reassured Myson. "Just disappointed-"

"OKAY, FINE, IT'S BECAUSE OF THAT ALMYRAN MIDGET!" the Assassin confessed. "... Twice, twice now, she's not only humiliated me, but has overpowered me single-handedly, every, single, fucking, time!"

"... So you're kinda miffed that she's better than you?" Myson pointed out. "... Sounds legit. I'd be super-pissed if it were the case-"

"It's not solely frustration that Kronya is plagued by, Sage Myson," Solon remarked. "... She's afraid. Afraid for her own life. A rare feeling for our kind."

Myson looked back at Kronya to see if Solon's claims were true.

"... Yeah," the Assassin confessed. "But can you blame me?! I thought she and the Dustbin were just a bunch of beasts that got lucky one too many times! Nobody told me that she was an actual monster with a semi-masochistic streak!"

"... Yeah," nodded the Warlock, "I guess a few unexpected factors were unavoidable-"

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SHE SNAPPED TWO CREST WEAPONS WITH HER BARE HANDS! TWO!" she pointed out. "RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! LIKE A PAIR OF DRY TWIGS! AND NOT A SINGLE LICK OF CHROME IN HER! HOW THE FUCK IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE THAT SHE'S ABLE TO SURPASS A GOOD MAJORITY OF US IN OVERALL PERFORMANCE?!"

"... Unexpected outcome aside," Solon remarked. "... I am... intrigued by her. Specifically, her body, being able to withstand three Crests without any ill effects..." he chuckled to himself menacingly. "... I wonder what would happen if I added more."

"... Old man," Myson remarked. "Don't tell me that you plan to use her as a lab rat like we did to the Emperor's brats ten years ago."

"What's in the harm of adding one more?" the old Sage remarked. "And with such a rare specimen too... how can I ignore such opportunity?"

"She ain't like those putzes we dealt with a decade back, Sage Solon!" Kronya replied fearfully, to the point where she'd addressed her superior in his full title. "She'll literally murder everything and everyone that's in her way! Providedif she doesn't escape captivity in the first place!"

This notion that was pointed out to him didn't do much to abate his curiosity. Rather, it had the opposite effect, and his interest in the little Hassashin grew significantly.

"Oh come now," Solon chuckled bemusedly. "Where's your sense of adventure? Science cannot advance without a bit of risk. And I for one, welcome her as a potential work hazard. Might get my old dead heart beating like that of a youngin's again. You can say..." the old Sage cackled to himself slightly before composing himself, "... that I'm genuinely excited, after a long time coming."

Both Kronya and Myson gave each other a fearful look, silently agreeing to make Topaz's death a priority before she herself ends living within their own corridors like a boogeyman made flesh.

About 3 Miles Into the Abyss's Depths...

"... Normally, I'd welcome this darkness," Linhardt commented as he laid his back against the trolley's fencing, "... but perpetual darkness with only [Torches] to light our way... my head feels like it's being crawled all over by bugs that I can't see."

"If we didn't know any better, I'd say we be entering the actual underworld weren't for the fact that my country having the Valley of Torment!" Dimitri attempted to crack a joke as he overheard the young Holy Knight's irritations from where he and the others marched on, as evident by his nervous laughter. "... Too soon?"

"More like it ain't funny," Selene rolled her eyes as she kept close to torchlight.

"It really doesn't say much when you guys can only laugh at the people you murder," Ashe commented. "... Seriously, how do you find death funny?"

"Oi, at Brigid, our songs are dreary while our fightin' men are merry," Selene replied. "Dat and de others dat think dey we're easy pickings... watching dem regret their last moments in der life before the proverbial hamma' falls... bar none, is easily de greatest feelin' of all."

"Dark," Claude remarked before whispering towards Sorcha, who was resting inside the trolley with her group. "... Is it true that Brigidian songs are dreary?"

"Wat's 'dreary'?" asked Sorcha.

"Nevermind," the Bow Knight then rejoined his march with the others, continuing the march as usual.

With Yuri resting, it was Constance's turn to lead the way with the map and light, and the former had made sure to fill her in with on what he'd learned from Aelfric's emergency book.

"... That way," she pointed towards the tunnel leading to their left. Darius then pulls the trolley as Cyrus then lets his horse hydrate himself during its march with the others. "My, you're quite the tireless taskmaster when it comes to tending to your steed."

"To Battu, horses are the children of Mother Earth and Father Sky," explained Cyrus. "If I am to die, Darius must live. I can be replaced, but not the horse."

"Horse-fucker!" Hilda jeered.

"And you people need to treat your horses better," Cyrus ignored her provocations before the group proceeded with their march in temporary silence.

"... You know, I get the crawling feeling that the conversation was supposed to lead somewhere else," Karna commented as he kept working on the [Master Seals]. "... Speaking of, Prince of Faerghus, would you like to hear an actual joke?"

"I have a name you know," Dimitri commented. "... But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested."

"Coming from you, I expect that it'll blow all expectations," Dedue dryly remarked.

Karna cleared his throat as he began, but not before checking the timer to see how much was left. Two minutes, I can kill the tension with it. He then began to tell an old farm wives' tale that he'd heard long ago. "Once, there was a drunken farmer who stumbled into his bedroom, waking up his wife," Karna began. "She sits up and sees her husband holding a sheep under his arm."

Already, the visual given was enough to make more than a few of the expedition members to stifle their chuckles.

"And the farmer yells: 'This is the pig I've been fucking!" the Professor continued. "And the wife says: 'You idiot! That's not a pig, it's a sheep!' And the farmer yells back: 'Shut the fuck up! I was talking to the sheep!"

More than half of the group then explodes into laughter at the semi-crude humor. Even the normally-stone-faced Dedue couldn't help but crack a smile. The only ones who weren't laughing were Ashe, Vidar, Hubert, and Hapi.

"... That sounds really demeaning on the wife's behalf," commented the Blue Lions Student.

"I never understood humor," admitted the Black Eagle student. "... Nor will I ever."

"... Did he marry... a pig?" Vidar quizzically tilted his head.

"... Yeah I don't get it either," the phlegmatic girl commented.

"You people have no sense of humor, I swear," grumbled Karna, "at least Prince Pork Chop knows a when a joke is meant to be laughed at!"

"I'll ignore the fact that you've just insulted his highness," growled Dedue. "... I swear, you are worse than Felix in that regard."

"The overly-edgy mutt ain't got shit on my barbs," Karna commented before he looked back at the hourglass. "And with that, switch."

The group in the trolley then swaps places with those who were in the march, continuing their path further below underground.

"... Have to ask," Byleth spoke towards Topaz, who hasn't switched over and has been walking for the past several hours without stopping. "... But you alright? I mean, deformities aside. No offense."

"None taken," Topaz replied. "As for your concerns of my physical status, I've never felt better. I've risen beyond my natural apex and feel like as if I'm walking on air."

And the fact that she now has to eat people in order to not go on a hunger-induced rampage is no concern of her, commented Sothis.

... Curious, but I'm gonna ask now than later, the Mortal Savant housing the Goddess's spirit then looks back at where the Dustbin were gathered at. "Just asking', but how many among you Dustbin lot has at least eaten human flesh once?"

Everyone sans the McCarthy Twins raised their hand. This promptly causes the others to shuffle back from where they were at.

"... Don't judge," Byron clicked his tongue. "It was Faerghus, dead of winter, and no one took us in like Dedue and Ashe. It was either that or starve and freeze to death."

"Same for me back at Battu," Cyrus explained. "Shangrian bastards were better-fed then my people, but didn't make up for the fact that both head on and tactically, a five year old here can fight better than a dozen of them. We did not have the privilege of being picky out in the arid and cold steppe, so we took what we can get."

"For the record, I only started eating meat after by second mutation," explained Topaz. "And no, Marianne, do not blame yourself. It was my choice, and preferably, living as your own scapegoat had its own benefits. If you were to be called a monster, I might as well look the part."

"In my defense, my time in captivity kinda resorted to me being force-fed human flesh," Karna sheepishly explained.

"Wait a minute," Sorcha remarked, "... dun't eating human flesh gives ye de runs?"

"Oh it did, out of my mouth," Karna remarked. "... Now you all understand why I don't eat solid food."

"Alright, finish shutting up and keep moving," Byleth ordered as she continued on with her march, mentally facepalming herself all the while.

Just as the group was looking for something else to distract themselves from hearing the Dustbin's unpleasant testimonies about their cannibalism, Yuri then spots a hidden marker engraved onto a cavern wall. "... That sign..." he then shuffles through the book to find the matching legend, "... we are now at mile number four."

"We're getting close then," Byleth remarked before looking back at Karna. "You done with those [Master Seals] yet?!"

"Just putting on the finishing touches!" he replied as a faint glow coming from his magic was seen from the cart.

Back at the Agarthan Base Camp...

"... Bias dear, when are you going to put your clothes back on?" asked Cleobulus.

"When I feel it, mom," Bias rolled her eyes as the two were then intruded by Anacharsis. "Ah good. Saves me the pain of actually having to call your ass."

"What is it?" the Wyvern Rider asked. "Did you manage to turn my replacement into a cyborg?"

"Sadly, we weren't," the Dark Flier shook her head, much to her subordinate's disappointment. "But... if things go according to plan, then perhaps we may be in a situation where our... direct involvement wouldn't be considered a necessity."

Anacharsis tilts her head confusedly before speaking. "... Okay, I've noticed that the Sages have been planning something about this place ever since I got pulled out of the emergency care ward," she pointed out. "Given that I literally have until the end of next month before I shit the bed, mind filling me in on what's really going on?"

Both Cleobulus and Bias exchange looks towards each other before Bias leaves the room to presumably dress herself.

"... I suppose now is no better time to tell you," spoke the Dark Flier. "... But take no offense when we Sages have chosen you and Periander for the intent of you two as expendable."

"Eh, I don't mind," she replied. "Cancer's a bitch and a half anyway, so might as well do something productive with what little time I have left than rotting away." Anacharsis then performs a small bow and prayer to her fellow Agarthan. "Rest in peace, Periander. He died doing what he loved."

"Guess that saves both of us further complications," Cleobulus sighed in relief before explaining. "... So anyway, there was a reason why Solon decided to give you those Crests beyond a power boost. It's meant to serve as our 'Plan B' if 'Plan A' doesn't pan out."

"Meaning?" she remarked.

"Both plans basically involve human sacrifice to boot up a weird-ass ritual involving the thing that those Dustbin fuckers have been searching for in those citadel ruins," Bias pointed out, coming in now properly dressed in her goth-loli attire. "Initially, we'd hoped to have you guys fly in and snatch the thing during the chaos, but the Dustbin do whaat Dustbin does best, ie, fuck everything up, we had let them have it and the only reason why you guys had to stick out in that clusterfuck long as you did was A) it's partially my fault for installing my own brain into the [Hermes] when I got desperate and ended up tunnel-visioned on trying to kill the Dustbin; and B) because said chaos, we kinda lost visual on you guys so coordinating a retreat took longer than it should have."

"To be fair, I doubt I would've been able to do anything else different," commented Anacharsis as she held up her hand, now sporting a prosthetic finger made of [Wootz Steel] and powered by an internal mana battery linked with her nervous system. "... So what does that plans having to work or not mean for us?"

"... If the plan went without a hitch, we would've extracted Aelfric's information regarding the ritual, take the [Chalice of Beginnings] to said Lost Mausoleum, lure the Professor and that brainiac from the Dustbin as our last two pieces, given that they hold [Timotheos] and [Noa] to your [Aubin] and Periander's [Chevalier] respectively, then the conditions to perform the ritual will be met," Cleobulus stated. "... Circumstances changed, now that the Dustbin has three of the four Crest needed. So, we're forced to resort to a more passive method, with us now having make Aelfric do all the work without out direct supervision, but the end goal remains the same."

"Which is?" asked the Wyvern Knight.

Both Bias and Cleobulus smile at her remark.

"... To obtain the power of being able to create life from the cup itself."

At the 5-Mile Point of the Depths...

"How much longer?!" whined Hilda, much to everyone's growing annoyance. 'It feels like we've walking forever!"

"Please... shut up," growled Edelgard.

"If you really wish to know..." Karna then looked back at his tally count of how many times the hourglass has been reset, "by my estimate, we're practically in the evening section of this day right now."

Everyone then falls into a quiet panic before Byleth then blew a shrill whistle that brought everyone's attention. "... Karna, are you done with the [Master Seals] yet?"

"Actually, I finished up right before recounting the tally marks I made," the Professor remarked before looking out towards the other students from the trolley he was upon. "... What? Looks like you all saw my evil twin standing behind me."

"Professor, you made us walk about 12 hours straight, without telling us?!" Dimitri pointed out.

"Oh come on, you guys are fine," Karna scoffed. "Even made sure you were all sufficiently fed, so its not my problem if your perceptions of time got fucked up to the point that hours feel like minutes."

Everyone then looked at the Dustbin, who were completely nonplussed at this revelation.

"Longest I marched non-stop was about 7 days through the Ifrit Desert stretched between Battu and Almyra," Cyrus boasted. "When I said Darius was ready to run across the whole world and back, I mean it. No exaggerations."

"Well good for you," Claude deadpanned. "You're better off than most of us in terms of mental fortitude. Hell, you're not even freaking out at the fact that we're underground and inside a cramped tunnel."

"Oh no, I am freaking out," Cyrus remarked casually. "It's just that learned a trick from Balthus on how I can handle myself."

"The trick is not think," the War Monk revealed. "Clear your mind before starting a fight or doing anything critical, and surely all fears will be non-existent, even for just a moment."

"Just like how I nap," sighed Linhardt. "... I was only aware of how much time have passed until we were all made privy to said fact."

"... We're used to not having sunlight," Hapi commented.

"It is horrid, but I supposed it's something you get used to," Constance remarked.

"You could've told us regardless," Dedue glared at Karna. "Withholding information not once, but twice? Contrary to popular belief, we're not your pawns that moves on your whim!"

"Oh please, you make it sounds as what if I just did being just as severe as my act of nearly ending your liege's bloodline," snapped Karna, causing the majority of the male populace present to instinctively cover their groins (except Dedue and Vidar). "And besides, are you more mad at the fact that you're all pawns, or the fact that without proper guided incentivized by your ignorance, you'd all be running around like headless chickens?"

"You let the Dustbin do whatever they please," Hubert pointed out. "That's a double standard."

"I trust them more than you spoiled brats, since while the worst of you were molded by your traumas, my students were born in what Fodlan can only describe as hell," Karna pointed out. "They had no innocence to break from the beginning, they knew what they were going into, they know that they're going to die, so might as well suck it up and take it raw. I'm only here to make sure they don't die too quickly. The only thing I trust that you pukes do is to not die embarrassingly enough to make my kids do all the work."

"Enough," Byleth interjected before things got out of hand. "... We're wasting time. The more we bicker, more likely that Aelfric's corpse will be found."

"... She's right," Edelgard seethed. "We need to make tracks to reach the bottom of the Abyss."

"No need," Topaz remarked as she then looked ahead and sniffed the air. "... We're here."

Upon that note, the whole expedition group then sprint towards the end of the tunnel, now finding themselves in a place not too dissimilar to Garreg Mach's Holy Mausoleum that Byleth's class were supposed to protect during The Goddess's Rite of Rebirth.

"... In fact, this place looks like an exact replica," Karna noted as he and the others looked around. "... Not even a single difference found. Perfectly uniform, sans the caskets and its contents."

"And ye sure dat dis is de rite place?" Sorcha commented as she bit into her ration. "... Fekin' shite, dis place is already an eyesore."

Edelgard and Hubert are inclined to agree, but for now, they kept their opinions to themselves.

"Who would ever build a place this deep underground?" asked Dimitri.

"Whatever the case, seems super-important," Claude pointed out.

"That'd be an understatement."

Everyone present then draws their weapons and/or readies their spells. From behind one of the pillars emerged Aelfric.

"... Aelfric?" Yuri remarked.

The Cardinal then holds out his bandaged left hand, now missing all of its fingers. "... Your eyes do not deceive you," he reassured. "I am here."

"Thank the Goddess you're alright!" Dimitri remarked. "Come! Let us be scarce of this place-!"

"Wait," Karna spoke as he then approached the Cardinal. "... How the hell did you escape?"

"Gave them the slip," he remarked. "They're not as infallible as they appear."

"Correct, they aren't," Karna squinted. "I'm asking you, in all your infinite fucking wisdom, on why, after escaping enemy captivity, you'd come here, of all places, rather than, I dunno, head to the surface and get help."

Aeflric's lip purses slightly. "... Well, it's not like they believe me-"

"You're a fucking Cardinal," Karna pointed out. "Bullshit or not, your words hold sway. So unless your intellect is severely compromised, you'd think you do the smart thing and find safety."

Aelfric now finds himself cornered. Normally, he'd continued to grammatically evade the conversation entirely, but Karna's eyes weren't that of others that regularly suspected him; people who were merely suspicious without any grounds beyond mere speculation.

Karna's eyes shows that he has concrete proof of the Cardinal's more suspect motives.

"... You do realize that the enemy might've let you go on purpose, but still chose to come here regardless of your awareness," the hooded Professor remarked as he approached Aelfric. "It's almost as if there's something here that's worth more than your life. Enough so that the livelihood of those who are under your watch aren't worth shit."

"... Nonsense," he jittered. "I do care. It's my duty as Cardinal and a servant of the Goddess-"

Karna then stamps the Cardinal's chest with his own diary, much to the latter's horror that felt like as if he'd been force-fed a cannonball.

"Tell me," Karna remarked as he then looked back at Byleth. "... Does the name Sitri sound familiar to you?"

Aelfric paled at the sound of that name being uttered by someone else that he wasn't familiar with.

"... Aelfric," Byleth spoke as the grip around her Relic tightened. "... What the hell is going on?"

Karna then leered at the Cardinal, the latter now looking pained and guilt-ridden. "... If you won't tell, I will."

Rather than relent and confess/bullshit, Aelfric chooses to remain silent.

Karna, rather than be upset, smirks like a bandit finding a vestal virgin to defile. "... Open up your earholes, kiddos!" he chortled. "... It's story time."

The cloaked Professor then snatches Aelfric's diary back from him before opening its pages.

"Once, there was a humble priest and a certain squire," began Karna. "Both were chosen by the Archbishop herself, for their faith to the Goddess and dedication to their duties. Everything was all mundane. Everything... until a certain maiden came into their lives."

"... A maiden?" said Dimitri.

"Know what he said, Pork Chop," Byron remarked. "No need to parrot it for us."

"The two went mad with love," narrated the Professor. "They've fallen in love with the fair maiden, whose beauty and innocence had stolen their hearts. Both wished to take the maiden themselves so that she may see the outside world that she was cloistered from. Realizing that only one man may hold that maiden's hand, the two then agreed to a duel, with the squire winning the bout."

Aelfric's expression tightened, as if he were hiding something painful from the others.

"Despite the bitterness of losing the woman he'd loved to his friend, he ultimately put those feelings aside and chose to be happy for the woman who was now able to seek the freedom that she'd desired," continued Karna. "And so, the man and the woman wed, with the priest acting their officiant. Despite the pain in his heart of losing the woman that he'd loved with his heart right before his very eyes, he chose to be happy for both his friend and the woman that they've come to love, and slew the devil known as 'envy' inside of his soul for the greater good. Like knight from the pages of a fairy tale, the squire and the woman rode off into the sunset and towards their new lives, with the priest being the first and the last one to see them off to their new lives."

"... How romantic," Marianne commented while clutching her chest in this contradictory feeling of something bad is about to happen.

"Then, like cruel god's whim, tragedy struck," Karna spoke, with Aelfric's pained expression becoming more strained. "A year later, both the man and woman returned, the latter now carrying his children, and under great and terrible agony."

Everyone with a remotest sense of empathy began to sweat like crazy in this killer sense of anticipation.

"Under the Archbishop and her cohorts, the great labor had begun," Karna spoke. "The priest, the squired-turned knight, and the maiden prayed to the Goddess above that this great trial of bringing forth new life to this world would be overcome. They prayed as they worked tirelessly, a task so grand and tumultuous that their faith began to wane. Screams and shrieks echoed throughout the hall of Garreg Mach that fateful night, blood, sweat, and tears flowed like the rivers leading into an ocean of turmoil. Storms and thunder cackled at the woman's suffering, daring her to feel happy and punishing her for her great sin."

Claude could now sympathize with the woman. Being born only for people like him and her to be told that the world hates them for just who they are.

"... The night passes, and the two men, still close friends to this day, came out covered in blood of their beloved," Karna narrated, his tone becoming more forlorn and menacing as the climax begun. "... The woman laid dead on her bloodied cot, martyred herself for the sake of her offsprings. Twins, one stillborn and one bawling."

"... Oh Goddess," gasped Hilda as she covered her mouth in shock.

"Eh, that's life," grumbled Cyrus. "You get used to losing children after about a fifth shits the bed during day one."

Everyone prompted to ignore the Battuian's callous commentary as Karna continued with his story, being far from close to being done.

"Driven to desperation, the knight plead to the Archbishop to save his other child, unable to bear the loss of another life," narrated the Professor as Aelfric looked away in tears. "And so, she'd committed the greatest heresy of all for the sake of love. She used the forbidden art of necromancy to bring the other child back from the brink, using the babe's own mother's fleeting soul to awaken her own."

Karna then points his finger towards Byleth.

"... That child was none other than you, Byleth Eisner," the Professor revealed to everyone, his voice dripping with contempt and venom with every syllable spat out. "And the knight and priest... well, I'm sure you can figure out which is who, provided if all your pattern recognitions are still working at this point."

The Mortal Savant then felt her heart sink like a rock as she feel to her knees in complete shock, dropping her [Sword of the Creator] in midst of doing so. Even Sothis was completely lost for word of what had transpired.

... Such desperation... the spirit commented. ... All that sacrifice for naught.

Edelgard and Hubert both share a sympathetic nod together upon hearing her origins. Dimitri was on the verge of breaking down in tears of hearing this tragedy, the anguish being comparable-no, surpasses the one from the Tragedy of Duscur. Claude did his best to keep face, but even he couldn't bear to watch this horrible revelation any further. Hilda wept as Marianne comforted her, Ashe was pulling his own hair in this story's tragedy as Dedue did his best to remain as everyone's emotional rock, and Linhardt's passive facade couldn't help but crack at the seams. The Ashen Wolves were horrified at this history kept hidden from them this whole time.

The only ones who weren't breaking at this horrible revelation were the Dustbin, who were comprised of people born into circumstances where empathy was a veritable weakness that lead to instant death.

Karna then kept reading, doing his best to hide the fact that he was secretly enjoying watching all of them, especially the bitch who stole his prior job position he applied for, squirm. "... With that horrible act, the child was saved. But said child's heartbeat after her resurrection... was quiet."

Byleth then turned towards Sothis for answers. ... Please, she begged. Tell me that my heart isn't silent!

With great regret, the Goddess shook her head. I'm sorry, she apologized. I can't hear anything coming from within you.

Tears fell from her eyes before she then let out a heartwrenching and anguished scream that echoed through the halls of the Lost Mausoleum.

"... Drama queen," grumbled Byron. "Wish I was born dead so I didn't have to feel shit."

"... Aberration," snarled Topaz. "Her existence mocks the law of death."

"Dat sum freaky-ass shite, I'd tell ye wat," Sorcha shrugged as she and the rest of the Dustbin nodded over the Professor's cries of despair, brushing it off as if it were a gentle breeze.

"And with that, the two's friendship ended on that day, the pain of their shared loss of their beloved being too much to bear even together, and especially after the Archbishop's failed attempt to save a life," Karna said. "The Knight leaves the monastery with the twins and the priest renounced his faith in the Goddess in secrecy, even as he was promoted to Cardinal."

Everyone was completely loss for words (even the Dustbin, who only ran out of things to say unless they want to come off as redundant) at this ending. Karna however, chuckled as he shook his head.

"... Kids," he remarked. "Story's not even close to being finished."

He then turned towards Aelfric.

"... You have the right to remain silent," he pointed out. "But no more than that."

The implications were made clear. Aelfric had no other choice to but to reveal the truth.

Slowly, he walked up towards the Lost Mausoleum's main altar. Upon reaching the ziggurat's peak, he then lifted the stone casket's lid open, revealing a slumbering woman with long jade-green hair dressed in the finest nunnery's garbs belonging to the Church of Seiros's Sisters.

"... Not even the ravages of time could ever mar your beauty, Sitri," remarked the Cardinal as he then lifted the corpse from her bed of flowers and brought her resting body below. "... Look," he spoke to the body as he eyed towards Byleth. "... Your daughter... she's here."

Byleth looked towards her mother's body carried by Aelfric. "... Mother?"

"Wait a minute!" Byron called out. "... She's dead, right? Like over 20 years fucking dead?!"

"MUST YOU?!" Dimitri cried out. "NOW OF ALL TIMES-!"

"No, he has a point," Edelgard interjected as she observed the corpse. "... Her body... it's... immaculate!"

"Even in the most sterile of conditions, most bodies internally decay due to a lack of blood flow. But here she is, fresh as a spring chicken, practically being a necrophilic's wet dream come true!" Karna pointed out before glaring at the Cardinal before pulling out his flintlock pistol at him. "Explain. Now."

The man's somber and forlorn expression slowly gave away to a slightly sinister one. "... That's for me to know and you to find out."

Just as Karna fired his gun, the lead ball was then blocked by his [Ward] spell before a massive shockwave of pure mana sent everyone flying back away from where Aelfric stood. After that act, Aelfric casts [Warp] onto himself before placing the corpse of Sitri back into her resting place and shutting the lid over her casket.

"Given that you're a master of pattern recognition, I suppose you now know why I asked you of all people to bring the [Chalice of Beginnings] to me," sneered Aelfric.

"Let me guess," Karna rolled his eyes, "you're going use this cup filled with the power of the Goddess to bring her back to life, so you can finally get some."

Aelfric chuckled. "You're only half right," he declared as he then injected his own mana throughout the mausoleum, "but you're sorely mistaken when you claim that my motives are based merely in animal lust."

The panels around the surrounding walls opening up to reveal earthen constructs of Fortress Knights, Assassins, Warriors, Warlocks, Snipers, Bishops, and replicas of Aelfric himself from within, the latter group of sentries acting commandingly over the generic ones.

"Oh come on," groaned Cyrus as everyone now found themselves surrounded on all sides. "THESE FUCKERS AGAIN?!"

"And home-grown too, unlike the ones back at the chasm," growled Karna.

"I love her," Aelfric declared as he began to weep. "I love her so much that just seeing her alive again will make me the happiest man in the face of all creation. I don't care how many I have to kill, how many lives I have to trample over, and how much she'll despise me at the end for doing so! I WILL HAVE SITRI BACK IN THE WORLD OF THE LIVING! AND THE POWER OF THE SAME GODDESS THAT UNJUSTLY TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME WILL BE THE METHOD I SHALL USE TO SEE IT THROUGH!"

It's not my fault though! protested Sothis as she saw her host still acting completely despondent. BYLETH! YOU MUST FIGHT!

The Mortal Savant still anguished greatly, causing Karna to scoff in disgust at this sorry sight. "Women," he disparagingly remarked as he brought out his [Scythe of Sariel] as everyone else did with their weapons and spells. "I'm taking command of this operation! Cyrus! Get that bitch out of the battlefield! Those of you who can use magic or Relic-based Combat Arts, come with me!"

"What about the rest of us?!" Ashe remarked.

"COVER OUR ASSES!" the Professor remarked as the earthen Snipers let loose their arrows, forcing Edelgard, Dedue, and Balthus to block the shots, with the latter ripping off and lifting up Darius's carriage wagon to act as their improvised cover.

Then with the combined forces of Hubert, Linhardt, Constance, Hapi, Byron, and Karna, the six of them fired a combo spell that blasted a hole into the enemy formation, allowing them to reposition their forces, turning this ambush into a proper confrontation.

"Bring [Aubin], [Timotheos], [Noa], and [Chevalier] to me alive," Aelfric ordered his replicants. "Save for those four and Sitri's daughter, kill the rest. And for the one holding the [Chalice of Beginnings], kill him slowly."

The replicant Aelfics then received their orders as they issued their own commands to the lesser constructs as they began their attack on the expedition team.

"Wait, why those four?!" asked Claude as he shot his arrow from his [Silver Bow].

"Long story short, the ritual using the grail involves certain blood sacrifices to get this thing to work," remarked Karna as he swung his [Scythe of Sariel] through the Warriors. "Let's put myself out a limb and say that the establishment of the Ashen Wolves might've not been completely altruistic."

Said house members then widened their eyes in slight shock, save for Yuri, who seemed to adopt a grim expression of expectancy. "... I knew that it was too good to be true," the Trickster remarked. "Even fooled my own adopted mother."

"Oh come on!" Balthus bemoaned as he face-lifted a Fortress Knight before crushing its head in his hand. "I'd rather be neck-deep in debt and sent to a labor camp than be suckered into a human sacrifice!"

"It is truly deplorable of him exploiting our trust for the sake of one person," Constance growled as she casted [Fire]. "When I get my hands on him, I will have answers!"

"... Yeah," nodded Hapi as she casted [Miasma Δ], "we ain't just cattle that he can fatten."

Karna chuckled as he stood next to Yuri. "Be honest, you saw this coming, didn't you?"

"Did I make it too obvious?" the Trickster replied as he shot his [Thunder] spell from his [Levin Sword]. "Guess us birds of a feather flock together when it comes to subterfuge."

"Oh please, I am anything but subtle," the Professor remarked as he fired his [Miasma Δ] spell before switching to [Gravity H+] to pin down the charging horde of constructs long enough to allow the others to lay them to waste. "If I knew better, I'd assumed that you were the Archbishop's spy."

The Trickster chuckles before tackling both himself and Karna out of the way of the Warlock's [Ragnarok] spell. "... Well, it was almost the case," he confessed before both him and Karna spot their spells at the Warlock, stunning it long enough for it to be riddled with arrows from others. "I was only considering of falling in if my adopted mother on the surface was brought to harm's way. Guess having you around as his patsy prevented that from happening."

"Thank me later after we get out this crunch," the Professor remarked before he shot his other unfired flintlock at the Fortress Knight's ankle, tipping it over and allowing its head to be caved in under Karna's foot. "Fight now, ask questions later. And yes, the latter is the fact that I can't use the modified [Master Seals] given that I have yet to distribute them nor have the means of freely promoting without getting jumped on from all sides!"

Unbeknownst to the rest, the Agarthan detachment had already arrived near the Lost Mausoleum just as around the battle took place, watching the chaos unfold below them.

"... Deja vu," commented Kronya.

"Yeah well, good on you for pointing that out," Myson remarked as he eyed towards Aelfric standing atop of the ziggurat and away from the conflict. "... Old man, I think we can take him. Just tell us when we get to pounce."

Solon smiled wickedly as they witnessed their escapee and the Dustbin with company clash against each other, unbeknownst of their presence.

"... Take care not to kill him lest we have to do the work ourselves," said the old Sage. "For now, begin preparations for Operation: Penumbra."

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: This final leg of the Abyss Saga is adapting "Return to Me" and "Wolf Pack" chapters with tons of creative liberties taken, mostly due to the Dustbin's plot interference changing up the status quo.

For one, Aelfric and Yuri's relationship is more honest and less ill-intended; with Yuri not actively working for Rhea as her double agent due to him having no incentive beyond mere suspicions, and Aelfric trusted the Ashen Wolves enough to lead the Abyss in his absence. That said, Aelfric's desire to see Sitri alive again overridden his rationality, with him choosing to play with fire by relying on Karna of all people to bring the [Chalice of Beginnings] to him rather than turning the Ashen Wolves into his patsy. Then again, the canon plan wouldn't have worked given that the Agarthans are the third party trying to snatch the prize while everyone's squabbling, even going far as to use Aelfric himself as their unwitting pawn (he resisted, but ultimately, they counted on him resisting and be as stubborn enough to lead them to the Lost Mausoleum).

In essence, the Dustbin's mere existence forced everyone involved with the chase for the [Chalice of Beginnings] to either modify or expedite their initial plans to try and work with or around Karna's calamitous misfortune.

The theme of this arc is "ignorance" and "exploitation." Everyone is being fed or feeding half-truths by everyone else. Plans only worked because those carrying it out doesn't know that they're being used, truths behind said plans are horrible to comprehend, and no matter what side anyone chooses or roots for, they're gonna be used and exploited.

Only the people like the Dustbin and the Ashen Wolves are not as deterred or shocked as the main three houses, with the latter only being slightly surprised by Aelfric's deception and hidden madness fueled by a love of a dead woman.

As for my take on Aelfric, I find him to be a justified simp. Like he said, he's not motivated by lust, but rather, injustice. For those of you in the know, Aelfric lost faith in Rhea after Sitri's death. Not by the action itself, but by the circumstances surrounding it. Further details will be revealed in future chapters.

See you all next time. I don't have college anymore.

References:

- Karna's jokes about the farmer and his wife is based off Gilbert Gottfried's performance (Rest In Peace 2022, "Too Soon") in Comedy Central's Roast of Roseanne Barr.

- Cyrus's feat of being part of the march across Ifrit Desert is a reference to the real-life Gobi March, a seven-day, 250 km/155 mile-long ultramarathon across the entire central Mongolian region of Karakorum. The location, Ifrit Desert, is named after the Arabic class of djinn that are associated with fire, and is based off both the Gobi Desert and the Taklamakan Desert, which the Silk Road passed through.