Risk
Eleven struck on the Tower clock. Sev woke up and looked at his watch. Eleven o clock! Booaaah… the training… what a mess… He had a fit of nervous laughter. Ugh… Jack and the others must have been very nervous, they must have tried to look for me around the castle, even here, because they know that I came here with Lily.
Luckily she knew that I came to conjure the Fidelius for Lauren and she will have projected to him at breakfast, and also Albus, she will have reassured them. And besides, Jack already knows that I looked for commanders for fifth year, he will have put them in command and will have explained how to do it.
Nothing happens then, what I said, I'm expendable in training, and now they'll just be at halftime, I can take time to have something for breakfast in the kitchens. I haven't eaten for fifteen hours, at this rate I'm going to lose weight again and be physically worse off. I must think about taking care of myself even more. With the Time Turner I'm eating and sleeping less than my share. I can't continue like this for the month we have left, otherwise I won't resist.
I'm going to look at the Map to see if there's a clear path. He unfolded the Map. Ugh, the five malefics are in the Library, in the first benches, they can see me walking towards the Training Hall. Surely they have noticed that I have missed the Great Hall and they are waiting for me. And the worst thing is not that, but that I have just discovered that they are in contact and know where we train. I can't go to training.
Lauren is sitting very close to them, sure she's been reading them. Brilliant. For the rest there are no students in the corridors from here to the kitchens. Some strolling outside the castle and everyone else in the Library. Well, here I go, to have breakfast.
He folded the Map haphazardly and walked out of the Fidelius with it in hand. He ran down the main stairs to the ground floor and the kitchens, meeting no one. He went inside and sat down to eat breakfast. He unfolded it again and ate breakfast while he watched.
Total, the elves aren't going to tell if they see me. Everything remains the same. There are still the malefics waiting for me and Lauren next to them. Perfect, they have given her a good opportunity to read them thoroughly. We will find out about Cecile and their intentions.
How goofy they are, and it's a good thing Lauren hasn't come out, they must think she's on their side, maybe even try to talk to her. Great.
But if that is the case, a new problem may arise, if Albus sees her with them on his Map, he may distrust her. I have to go to his office as soon as I'm done, to find out if he already has it ready and to distract him for a while, with the excuse of letting him know what I just discovered. I hope he didn't change the password from yesterday. I don't think so, to always be at my disposal.
He quickly finished breakfast, folded the Map neatly, and again ran up the stairs without meeting anyone and went to the Headmaster's office. Indeed, the password is the same as yesterday. He went up and knocked. Hedoesn't open for me, he must be in another room working on the Map, I'm going to have to look for him.
He came in. The door was open, what I said, at my disposal. I'm going to look first where I know, the Dueling room and the office with the table and the chairs. That table is clear, there he has space to work. He entered the spacious room. It is already repaired, he hopes to meet us here again soon. He walked through it to the office door, knocked, and the door opened. (Albus is working on the Map.)
"Oh, Prince, I saw you coming," the Headmaster told him.
(Whoops… I hope he doesn't have Lauren located yet.) "Yes, Albus, there's been a problem and I had to let you know."
"Yes, I've noticed."
Sev walked over to the table and looked at Albus's Map. (Okay, he's already tracked down the malefics but not Lauren, he couldn't see her with them. Wonderful.) "I see, you already have located the camouflaged."
"Yes, they are in contact, they have realized that you have missed the Great Hall and they know where you train, they are waiting for you. Sit down, come on, we must talk."
(Ugh…) Sev sat next to him. "Yes, that's what I deduced when I saw them. Has Lily warned you why I haven't go to train?"
"Yes, she already told me. That you had gone to sleep where you used to meet her. Don't worry about it, I understand you're exhausted. And at least it has helped us to realize the real danger. It wasn't you who screwed up, but your escort, who didn't come to breakfast."
(Booah… what a way to give ourselves away, the eight of us have missed the Great Hall, they have rightly noticed.) "Ugh… and why?" amazed and alarmed.
"They must have started looking for you all over the castle," Dumbledore replied.
(But they knew where the Fidelius was, they might have guessed it was that, the wolf did it. Fools, it was enough for them to look for me there.)
The Headmaster continued, "Jack has come to the Great Hall for news at quarter past nine. Lily has projected to him."
(Ugh… even worse, seeing Jack come in alone. No wonder they were waiting for me, they guessed that I wasn't with them. What a blunder.) "Oh... but if Jack already knew that I had alternative commanders for my group."
"Oh really? He, well, he has screwed up completely. He has entered the Great Hall very worried, and after Lily gave him the news, he has left immediately, visibly angry. He has not known how to keep his cool, he does not look like a snake."
Sev put his hand to his forehead, resting his elbow on the table, very burdened. (Ugh, Jack… how you've messed it up. They've noticed everything. He's absolutely right, for other things you hide very well.)
Dumbledore continued, serious, also burdened, "I had to sent Lily to put peace."
(Whoops…) "Of course, and do you know how they did it?" expectant.
"Yes, because I have located your escort and them too. They have all been having breakfast together in the kitchens."
"Whoops…"
"I imagine that so that they would not arrive at training angry and create a conflict," the Headmaster added.
"And were the malefics already in the Library when they passed there?" alarmed.
"They were."
"And have they all done it together?" Sev asked even more worried.
"They have."
"No!"
"It wasn't your fault or Lily's. It was Jack's fault," Dumbledore said.
(He's absolutely right. He's screwed up all the way.)
Albus continued, "In fact, Jack and Lily have passed the last ones and very close to each other, they should have been linked."
(Where was your cunning, Jack?) "Of course..." understanding. "Lily must have told them off in the kitchens, Jack was apologizing and has not realized that they should have gone separately, nor did she, of course. They were thinking about other things at the time."
"I think so."
"And which side was Lily on?" Sev asked.
"On the opposite side of the Library door."
"Well, then maybe they haven't seen her," something more relieved. (And if they've seen her, we'll know from Lauren.)
"But if they've seen Cecile and Remus, who always go with her, it's as if they've seen her," the Headmaster deduced.
"No…" burdened again.
"Don't worry," Dumbledore spoke calmly. "It's Saturday. Neither today nor tomorrow will they be separated from Alice and Frank all day. They can beat the five of them, and I'll be watching."
"I don't want you to alarm her, Albus."
"I must warn them to be careful with those at home."
"Sure…"
"How good that you already knew how to project," said the old man.
"Of course."
"When they are safe at home, I will appoint one of the Raves and I will read him thoroughly, to know his intentions."
(I wish I could tell him that Lauren is spying for us and he wouldn't have to expose himself like that. On the other hand, it's better that they know they're being watched, they know full well that Albus is legelemant. But he'll also find out that Lauren has been near them in the Library.
(How Jack screwed it up. Completely. I'm going to have to tell him off myself. He has endangered my two loves and especially Lily. As soon as the malefics leave Hogwarts in a month's time and try to become Death Eaters they're going to tell on Lily being seen with my escort and Bellatrix 's going to find out about it, who's mad at me and is going to take it out on her. And I don't even get close to her during training so that no one sees us together, nor do I meet her at night despite both having a Map. With the sacrifice we are making…
(What a mess, and for next year having the sixth-year in here. We will not be able to come to light either when we return from holidays. Ugh... I'm fed up with this, I can't take it anymore, I need to cry. Depriving me of seeing Lily all this time and also not being able to be with Lauren the way I wanted to, and jerk Jack is putting them both in danger for not knowing how to keep his cool for a few hours.) Sev cried, resting his elbow on the table and forehead in hand.
Albus pulled the chair closer to his and took him by his shoulders. "Come on, my boy, don't collapse. We'll fix it."
"I'm sick of all this, Albus, and it's only just begun. I am going to spend half my life in constant danger of death, and that is if I survive. But that's not the worst, Lily will be too. As soon as they get out of Hogwarts they're going to tell on her that she's still in contact with me to curry favor with Voldemort and they're going to go after her too."
The old man pulled him close. "Don't worry, I already erased her track at the Ministry, the letter they sent to your house when she healed your wounds."
(Right, I hadn't thought of that either. Nor Lucius, of course. What a relief, what would we have done without Albus?) "Thank you Albus. I don't know what we would have done without you."
"Not me without you, my boy."
(He's already crying too. Gryff, empathic.)
"Come on, cheer up," Dumbledore encouraged him. "On Monday we're going to the fir tree to pass on my talent for Transfiguration and I'm going to teach you both how to do something with which you won't get caught no matter what."
"What, Albus?"
"To make you invisible."
"Oh…"
"Druid Magic. You will learn between now and summer, it is much easier than becoming an Animagus," said the Headmaster.
"Brilliant." (And we probably won't show up like this on the Map either. If I teach Lauren at the same time, she'll be out of danger from Albus. Wow… what a relief. What would we have done without Albus?) Sev recovered himself and wiped his tears from his face. He broke away from the old man, who didn't take his hand from his shoulders. "Thank you very much, Albus."
"It's going to be even more work for you."
(And for him. And for Lily. And for Lauren.) "It doesn't matter, as long as we're safe. Could you also appoint Cecile and Remus to go to the fir tree? I would like to repeat the joint ritual there with them."
"Of course, I already thought about it," Dumbledore agreed.
"The five of us will also do it together."
"I will be pleased. What time do you prefer?"
(We have to take four hours of time, because Albus is not going to be so agile walking through the Forest, and there are five of us to meditate plus the joint rituals. I want to do it only with Lily too, we haven't done it since January, and take more time, that time we did it in a hurry and now we need it a lot to resist.
(It has to be in the afternoon, after school, or even better in the morning, after breakfast, even if we leave here at night. I know how to guide at night.) "First thing in the morning, after breakfast," Sev answered.
"Perfect. Will we have enough with three hours?"
"Better four, Albus. We have two on the way and we are five to meditate. I know how to guide at night."
"Sure, then four, whatever it takes. Are you better?" asked the old man.
"Yes much better."
Dumbledore withdrew his arm. "We won't talk about Riddle again for the rest of the term."
(Oof… what a relief.) "Great."
"Only to teach you how to handle Fiendfire."
"Brilliant," Sev agreed.
"I could do it now, but I don't have the appropriate room prepared."
(Normal, the poor old man has a lot of work to do and he is prioritizing my safety, making the Map and teaching Occlumency to my summer escort. And luckily he has done so, otherwise he would not have found out that the malefics are lurking and he wouldn't have set out to teach us how to become invisible, and we would have found out from Lauren and we would be suffering a lot.) "Sure, Albus, it's okay. We'll meet when you can."
Sev looked at him. (He's not going to tighten the nuts on me again with that issue, I already have enough, we both have enough, work accumulates for both of us. Poor old man. It's morning and he already looks exhausted. What a displeasure he has had today too, and it's all Jack's fault. If he doesn't appoint me on Tuesday, I'll meet Lauren on Thursday or Friday anyway.)
The Headmaster spoke, "What do you think that we both talk to Lily today at lunch, to explain everything and reassure her between the two of us? I don't want her to feel bad for doing things the way she did. I think she should have let me project to Jack instead her."
(I think so too, but I want us to talk to Lauren first, who already has all the information.) "You're right, Albus, I think so too. But I don't want you to tell her that."
"Of course not."
"And I would like to be the one to start talking to her. When we finish we'll project to you and talk among the three of us."
"Of course, there is plenty of time," Dumbledore said. "And you have to have a serious talk with Jack too, he can't screw it up like that again."
"Yeah, I was thinking of doing that, Albus. As soon as we finish lunch."
"If it seems to you that he is not up to it, choose another second. As soon as Alice and Frank learn Occlumency, you can count on either of them. They wouldn't have screwed it up like that."
(Well no, because between Jack and I there are very deep and contradictory feelings. We love each other very much, but at the same time we are in love with the same woman and we don't know how to handle it, he is still much worse than me.) "Of course not, they are much more mature. In the fir tree they showed me no fear for me at all, but great confidence. Jack has gotten out of hand because he loves me too much."
"Yes, I think the same," Dumbledore agreed. "Upon entering the Great Hall he was very worried."
"A serious defect that we snakes have. If we feel something very deeply, because we don't allow ourselves to express it, it eats us up and hurts us, and we allow emotions to surface at the most inopportune moments."
"You're right. That's how it is."
(He knows the Houses very well. Thirty years as Headmaster, more than fifty as a teacher.) "Luckily I'm allowing myself to be influenced to a great extent by the Gryffs and I'm ceasing to be like that, that's why I told you yesterday that it's better to be all mixed up at school," Sev continued. "We communicate to each other our qualities."
"Of course, rest assured that we will. Today or tomorrow I will talk to the teachers so that they communicate it in the classes. They will all agree, for they are delighted that you are all training together for war."
"How glad I am, Albus. And speaking of the teachers, it occurred to me, thinking about the risk that we're both going to take when we return from holidays with the basilisk, that you should teach Occlumency to Professor McGonagall in the summer."
"True, you are right."
(It never even crossed his mind. We need each other.) "So that she is in charge of the Horcruxes."
"Of course, I will," said the Headmaster. "And I will pass on to her the information I have on Riddle. So I think you shouldn't take a chance on the basilisk. We'll team up with all the oclumancers, except Lily, of course."
(I'm about to cry again. It's not just about the Horcruxes. He loves me very much and doesn't want me to die. But I don't want any of them to risk it either. Remus, Cecile, Jack, Deborah, Anthony, Genevre, Alice, Frank and Albus. I love them all.) Sev cried again. "I cannot send people to risk their lives and not go."
"But you must stay in charge to inform Professor McGonagall if I die, Prince. Otherwise, she would be alone."
(He's absolutely right, he doesn't know that Lauren knows it too. But Lily, from now until then, will know it.) "I plan to tell Lily in the summer."
"Okay, but it's not just for that. It is essential that you continue to instruct the Army and it is you who has the books in their possession," Dumbledore added.
(He won't ask me for them again, but I have to bequeath them to him in case something happens to me in the summer. For now, I'm not the only one who knows where they are.) "There are other people who know where the books are, Albus."
"I already imagine it, but I doubt that they are at the level that you are. You must stay alive at all costs, your life is more important even than mine. In your hands is the fate of the Wizarding World."
(He's right, because he is much older than me and may die before we destroy all the Horcruxes. What a weight on my shoulders. I will bequeath in favor of Albus the Classification Library, I no longer trust Jack. The ones from the Forgotten Sorcery Training Space will always be in power of Lauren also and I'll tell Lily as well. And we can create another space where the Dark Arts ones also appear in duplicate, the Mental Arts ones we already have, in the Espionage Classroom. That both know everything.
('McGonagall will succeed Albus and Lily in the light and Lauren, in the shadow, me. They'll be up to the task. Lauren will resist with Lily's support even if I'm not here, she knows it's essential to the Wizarding World that she does. I must have a serious talk with her about this as well. The next time we meet face to face.)
"Before I leave in the summer I will bequeath the location of the books, so that they pass into your possession if something happens to me," Sev said.
"Sounds good to me Prince. I will also take Minerva to acquire the powers of Druid Magic in the Forest and in the cave and begin to instruct her in the Ancient Magics."
(He's going to have a very busy summer too, luckily they're both staying at the castle. But it's what we have to do, in case something happens to either of us.) "Sure, Albus, and perform joint rituals with her as well. You are both very lonely and you have a very special and trusting relationship. Reinforce it."
"Of course we will."
(Very good. They won't be left alone anymore, they will have each other to lean on.)
The Headmaster continued, "We will have to leave teaching you how to become Animagi for the return from holidays."
"Yeah, I already thought about it. I don't get to everything."
"I'll ask Minerva to take care of it. This way you will also strengthen ties with her."
(Wonderful. If something happens to him, both me and Lily, in charge of the Horcruxes with Minerva. We're finally setting things straight, and in an unexpected meeting. Things always work out better when they're not planned.) "That seems very good to me," Sev agreed. "I really want to get to know her better."
"And she you, Prince. She is an exceptional woman, you are going to get along very well."
"She doesn't look like Gryff, so serious and strict."
"It is that she was about to not be. She was a hatstall, it took the Hat more than five minutes to assign her," Dumbledore explained.
"Wow, I didn't know."
"She could have been Rave, she is extremely intelligent."
"I did know that," Sev replied.
"But her courage prevailed."
"How interesting, a good mix of qualities of Houses. She will be an exceptional Headmistress."
"Of course, I chose her for a reason, it wasn't because she belonged to my own House, I made her Head of House and Deputy as soon as she entered as a teacher, dismissing the previous ones," said the Headmaster.
(Oh, he won't put me before her. I'll stay as Sly's Head until she dies or retires. What I thought yesterday, it may be more than fifty years until I'm Headmaster. If I survive.) "Oh…"
"I'm surprised that the Hat assigned you so quickly, I think you could easily have been Gryff or Rave."
"Well, Rave maybe yes, but back then I wasn't brave at all. I have had to force myself to be," Sev admitted.
"Oh…"
(Interested in the story, I'm going to tell it to him.) "And it assigned me so quickly because I wanted to be Sly at all costs."
"Even though it had just sent Lily to Gryff?" asked the old man.
"I didn't react at that moment, I had been wanting to be a snake for years and I knew I would never be assigned to Gryff. Besides, I didn't even know that it could read my thoughts, since the only information I had on it was from my mother and she was assigned to Sly immediately as well."
"It's true, I remember."
(Great, he remembers everything thanks to the power of the cave.) "Lily and I found out that you could fight the Hat when she heard Black comment to Potter that he had done it so that it would assign him to Gryff instead of Sly," Sev continued.
"Oh, now I explain to myself that he is there," understanding. "He doesn't deserve it."
"Of course not. And neither did Potter."
"Potter is in Gryff because of his parents," said the Headmaster.
(I am going to tell him the whole story. That way we release tension, it will interest him.) "Of course. And he met Black on the Express, on the first trip, that's why Black wanted to be Gryff too. The four of us were in the same compartment and they already insulted me because I commented that I wanted to be a snake, I told them 'Gryffindor, lot of brawn and little brain'."
Albus smiled. "Oh, so since then…"
"Yes, since then. Lily stood up for me and we switched to another."
"How bad you both must have had the night of the Sorting when she was assigned to Gryff."
"Well yes. It was perhaps the worst night of our lives," Sev confessed.
"If you had known you could fight the Hat, it would have sent you both to Rave."
"Yes, we have already thought about it. One of our fetish phrases is 'Damn Sorting Hat'."
Albus smiled again. Sev smiled back back and continued, "What can we do? Perhaps over the years we will turn the tables and it is lucky that we are both from enemy Houses, when we both live as a couple at school being teachers." (And in time Heads of House, because of the relationship that Lily is going to strengthen with Minerva. But you won't see that, Albus, because it will be when you die and shesucceeds you.)
"Of course, I had not realized it," with an open smile.
Sev smiled back. (He loves it, what a meddler he is. I'm sure he'll set us up a wonderful home for both of us, how nice.)
The Headmaster asked, "Do you have something more urgent to tell me?"
"It's not urgent, but know that the broomstick flight class went very well for me yesterday."
"Great, I had no doubt. Then get out your Map now and see if you can get home without anyone seeing you, before the students go back home from the Library and from a walk."
(Ugh… So he's going to see Lauren in the Library near the malefics, but I have no choice.) Sev pulled his Map and spread it out on the table. (Lauren is not so close anymore, she has already finished reading them. Good. They are still there and some students are already walking through the stairs and corridors, those who return from their walks. Well, it is a lesser evil that the Huffles and the little ones see me go alone.)
"I'm leaving now, Albus. Before there are more people."
"Yes, go now."
"We'll continue at lunch."
He got up and held out his hand. Dumbledore shook it, Sev shook it with his left as well. "Thank you for everything Albus."
"Thanks to you."
Sev retracted the Map so he could still see the malefics in the Library, hurried out of the office and ran down the stairs to his dungeon house.
I'll stay in the Common Room. He sat in the armchair where Lauren had waited for him two weeks ago, facing the door. He opened the Map to look at the ground floor and the dungeons at the same time. Let's see if Lauren comes before the others. I don't think she'll leave the Library until the malefics do. She is still at a distance that she can read them, her back to them.
I think they must have spoken to her, before she was facing them. She will have known how to answer them, so as not to give herself away in front of them or Albus even if he reads them, she is seasoned in those matters. She only takes matters out of her hands when what she feels for me is involved. She has to learn to express it so that it doesn't hurt her, I have to help her.
He kept watching all that time. All the little malefic Sly, and also Ariel and his third-year friends are in the Library. I also have to learn the names of the good first and second graders, tonight, at the party. Well, if I see someone coming through the dungeon corridor I'll sit in my corner, facing away, Lauren will project to me when she arrives.
At twelve the malefics left the Library and Lauren followed them at a safe distance. She's still reading them, watching where they're going so that I don't come across them. Taking care of me.
I have to make a Map for her, I hope she doesn't follow them up the stairs. Booah… she has spent the whole morning watching, pretending to study. No, she's coming to the dungeons, she's already figured out that I'm watching them too, of course, and no one else is heading here at the moment. Wonderful, we will be able to see each other for a little while.
He continued looking at the Map until she reached the door of the house. Nobody's coming yet. When she entered the Room Sev got up.
"Are you watching the Map?" she projected to him.
"Yes, no one is coming at the moment and you still don't shown up at Dumbledore's. Hug me please."
"Of course."
She reached for him and fell into his arms. "Merlin, how scared I have been."
"I imagine so, Lauren, but I had the Map. I have realized everything."
"Blessed Map. Luckily you told Dumbledore."
"Well yes. Otherwise they would have caught me. I woke up at eleven."
"It would have been we two against five, Severus. We would have been able to beat them."
Sev thought, Sure we would, though we might have had to kill them. We must Bond as soon as possible even if I don't wait for Lily to do it, she will understand. "Have you talked to Lily at breakfast?"
"Yes, of course, she has already told me everything. You fell asleep in your Fidelius."
She doesn't hold it against me at all, she knows how exhausted I am.
Sev looked at the Map. Nobody's coming yet. I want to kiss her, but really. "That is, after conjuring ours. Kiss me, no one is coming yet."
"Of course."
They kissed, this time not just with their lips, a real kiss, for thirty seconds, without projecting to each other, just feeling. Wooow… Sev pulled back to look at the Map again.
"No one comes. I want more."
They did it again. This time he projected to her, "This is our first kiss, Lauren, and not the one from two weeks ago. In a new moon, absolutely auspicious."
"I love you with all my being."
"I love you too, gorgeous. I will always, all my life, you can be sure of that. Whatever happens, whatever you do. I'm yours."
"Merlin, how you kiss, Severus…"
"And you…"
He pulled away again to look at the Map. "Go on."
They went on.
"Nobody had ever kissed me like that," she said.
Despite her extensive experience. Oh... why is it? I know, Sev thought. "Because no one has loved you like I do, nor will they." Forget about Jack and wait for me, please, he puts you in danger. I'm going to tell her. "Lauren, forget about Jack. I'll give you everything I can."
This time she pulled away to look into his eyes. "I can't Severus, I'd destroy him."
"With total security, but he does not deserve you. He has endangered us all. You, Lily and me."
She hugged him again. "I already know it. What are you going to tell me?"
She has spent the morning reading and she knows it very well. He looked at the Map again. "Let's not talk about that now, we'll talk at lunch. Kiss me again, no one is coming."
They kissed again, while they continued projecting words of love to each other, for a little less than ten minutes, interrupting every thirty seconds so that Sev could look at the Map, until he saw Ariel and his friends heading down the corridor that led to the dungeons. At least with whom she has first projected doing this has been with me. Excellent.
"Last one, Lauren, people are coming."
This time it was shorter.
"Go up to your bedroom," he said. "See you without fail Thursday or Friday."
"Whenever you want, my love."
They parted ways, Sev folded the Map and put it away. She went up to her bedroom and he waited sitting on the armchair for his third-year friends to arrive. So I already probe what those at home know and I appoint Ariel for the afternoon, because at lunch I won't be able to pay attention to him. The kids entered and approached him upon seeing him.
"Oh, Sev…" Ariel told him. "Haven't you gone to train today?"
Well, at least Jack has been pretending before them. He has done something right. "No, honey, I couldn't. I had things to do," Sev replied.
"Have you been flying, like yesterday?" asked Hippolyta.
"No, Hippolyta, other things. There are many things to organize for the Army."
"With the old man, right?"
"That is. I'll tell you when the time comes," Sev told her, and to Ariel, "Do you want to go up to read in my room this afternoon, after lunch?"
"Sure, Sev."
"Then come at around two. I have to talk to Jack first."
"Great, Sev."
"I'm going to wait for him in our bedroom. Go upstairs also to prepare for lunch."
Sev got up from the chair, headed for the stairs and preceded the kids. I am defeated, despite has not even been an hour and a half since I woke up. What a storm of emotions. Real fear, relief, and then the kisses with Lauren, how awesome. Although I haven't gotten horny at all, nor has she. Fear has beat us, what a pity. Of course, our beginnings are not auspicious at all.