"Where are you, sister..." Lucifer muttered, eyes fixated to the glowing globe. "Come on, Remy. We didn't skip childhood so you could play hide-and-seek now."

"Luce?" Eve asked from the doorway.

"Yeah."

"3.2 million people are waiting on you."

"Right. Yes, let's get this over with, shall we?" he asked, and standing up straight he walked over to where she was nervously tottering on her tippytoes. He barely placed his hand on her shoulder as she made room for him to come out of the observatory, and together they walked into the next room. Apart from its sheer emptiness, it looked the same, with a reflective floor that appeared to have been constructed with a single, gigantic bar of gold that was perfectly seamless. Their shoes tapped on the floor as they went to the large, windowed door.

"So why is it so empty in here?" she asked, as he held the door open for her.

"Oh, well...a family of 3.2 needs room to wander, after all."

"And that...earth camera thing. Your father's?"

"No. Oh, love, no," he chuckled. "He is omniscient, after all; that was for us angels."

"Well, where's the bathroom? I―"

"Oh, we didn't need one. No, dear old Dad made it so that angels don't experience biological urges."

"Well, you do."

"That's because I rebelled. Yeah, wasted a lot of time in the latrine as punishment."

Eve nodded in partial understanding; she hadn't needed the facilities before she had escaped heaven, and had to afterward. Of course, she had technically been a soul, and slipped into her living, mortal body.

Lucifer suppressed a sigh as he looked upon the rather large gathering of divine beings. "If heaven is indeed a place on earth, then hell is indeed a place in heaven. Oh, Brother," he sighed then, "At least reward your newfound Godism with new robes."

Eve grinned up at him as he watched Amenadiel slumming it with his inferior angelic siblings. Picking up a plate like he couldn't just magically make everyone full, like he enjoyed going through the motions. Although it seemed like a big deal to keep so many people waiting, Amenadiel looked at his devil of a brother with a full smile. "Lucy," he said, "I'm glad you came."

"I'm glad I didn't burst into flames."

Well, he couldn't say he was glad to be here; that would be a lie. Amenadiel just kept on smiling, like he knew what Lucifer was thinking. And of course, he did.

Chloe, Dan and Charlotte were already seated; Lucifer pulled out a chair for Eve and then finally took a seat himself, between Eve and Chloe. The table was very long, of course, and gently curved into an incomplete circle, with chairs on both sides; God and Goddess sat in the middlemost seats, in forms that reminded Lucifer of each and every child. Chloe, Eve, Dan, and Charlotte were all staring at the angels, obviously flummoxed by the sheer capacity of the table and the fact that everyone had a full plate. Lucifer found himself smiling as he observed all of his siblings and both of his parents, sitting peacefully side by side.

Why couldn't he have this eons ago?

Souls were walking in the distance, and several recognized Eve, dining with the divine family. They could be observed pointing at her and talking amongst themselves, but no one dared to interrupt the meal.

"Do we say grace?" Chloe muttered to Lucifer.

"Not necessary. You're God's sister now." He rubbed her arm, and she stared as the weight of it hit her all over again.

"I could say it," Eve pointed out, and then grabbed her cutlery. "I need to, actually. Um, excuse me. Angels," she said loudly, tapping her cutlery on her glass. "Hi, hello. Reincarnated Eve here. Um...well, I just want to say thank you, to God, and Goddess, and...Amenadiel, for everything. And, um, tell them that I have made a decision."

Lucifer frowned up at her.

"Well, I, um, I guess there's no easy way to say it. But when I die, I would like to go to hell."

"Eve," Lucifer began, as Chloe suddenly realized why Eve had been grinning at her all day.

"No. No, I've decided, and I know that Lucifer was working on getting Cain and Abel up here. Uh, which I appreciate. Fully and completely...and forever," she added, meeting his eyes. "But I've realized that heaven is... It's just not right for me."

"Eve," Amenadiel's voice broke the awkward silence. He stood, noisily. "Can I talk to you privately?"

"Of course." She stood up and they paired off, heading back towards the empyrean castle.

Chloe stared into Lucifer's eyes, feeling totally responsible for Eve's decision. "Me?" she mouthed, motioning to herself.

"Nope. Nope, this one's all on me, I'm afraid," he said, and started drinking.

"What are you doing, Eve?"

She shut the door behind her. "Maze might've blown it," she began, and he turned to face her, "But I won't."

"You spied on me?"

"No. Well, I might have witnessed..."

"Lucifer spied on me," he realized.

"Are you mad?"

"Well...no. That is what the Oracle is for. And it's not the point. You can't go to hell! You don't know what it's like!"

"It's...bad."

"It's terrible! And it's never-ending."

"I know that, Amenadiel. But if I can patch things up with Maze―"

"Maze?" he repeated, and his loud voice resonated in the empty golden room. "You're doing this to preserve a relationship with an unloving demon?"

"She's not unloving."

"Yes...she is. Now that I took her soul away, yeah, Eve."

The divine dwelling was quiet for a moment; then he stepped closer and said, "There is no sanity in picking the company of an impassive, sadistic demon in a place of eternal torture; over your sons, in a place of eternal paradise and joy!"

"It's not the place that provides joy."

"Oh really?" he asked, with a downward inflection. He raised his hand and gave a little wave, causing all of heaven to fade to black. For a brief moment, they were alone in complete darkness, as though they were in space; except there were no stars or planets and it was warm. Uncomfortably warm, and getting warmer. Then, from the darkness, their surroundings began to fade in. They stood on a rocky ground that appeared to have little volcanoes. Ash fell and ember floated around them; and they could hear the screams and cries of the damned.

"Where's heaven?"

"It's a little north of here."

He motioned for her to follow, and began walking over the volcanoes. None of them erupted, but they could see the heat waves in the air, and Eve could feel it. Silent and stoic, Amenadiel brought her to the cells. Those who were not screaming or crying were curled up on the floor, having lost all hope. Those were the people who no longer looked like themselves. Instead, they all looked the same; ghostly pale and bone-thin, Gollum-like. Their bodies were deeply sliced open from being whipped. Even after walking a fair distance, the ash and coal still blew around them; the embers would catch fire wherever they fell. Big fires already burned, and there was obvious charring in every direction. The air smelled like firewood, brimstone, leather, and body odor. Eve's nose wrinkled as she kept up with Amenadiel, and one prisoner kept gagging as he tried to eat what appeared to be live worms.

"What happened to Lucifer's whole therapy plan?"

"It's still very much in effect. These are the souls who cannot be saved, as well as the new arrivals. See, first they are tortured for some millennia; then Lucifer offers asylum."

"Yeah. Lucifer does," a familiar voice said, "I, on the other hand, do not."

They turned to see Michael smiling at them.

"You don't work here," Eve said.

"I do when he's gone. You'd be surprised how stupid demons really are. I just pull out the old switcharoo, and it keeps me out of my cell for awhile."

"Why, Michael?" Amenadiel asked.

"You're God now. You tell me."

Amenadiel squinted, trying to read the truth, only to find out he was unable. "What did you do to me?"

"I've done nothing to you."

Amenadiel stepped forward. "What did you DO?" he thundered, and his bellow threatened to shake the underworld apart.

"I'll never tell. But I will give you a hint." He backed away, then put his fingers to his mouth and gave a shrill whistle. Then he just smiled at them and said, "Enjoy."

Confused, they watched him walk away.

"This really isn't a mirage, is it?" Eve finally asked. "We actually communicated with him, didn't we?"

"Yeah. That was a bad idea." He turned to look at her and apologize, but the person in his peripherals distracted him. He looked quickly at Maze, and his stunned silence made Eve turn around. The demon glowered at them both, chains draped over her body and a branding iron in hand, the nasty end poised above her shoulder. She wore much less than usual, and donned spiky gloves and boots. Her face was part-human, part demon, and she kept it that way.

"Maze!" Amenadiel finally blurted. "Don't tell me you work for Michael."

She averted her eyes, restlessly shifting her position. "Get her out of here," was all she said.

"Okay, but first, I―"

"No. Just go. Before I have to use this on her," she said, jiggling the branding iron.

Amenadiel frowned. "No," was all he said, and waved his hand. Everything went dark; and when their surroundings faded into view once more, only she and Eve stood in the heavenly home. Maze looked around, shifting her stance again and letting the branding iron fall to her side.

Maze gave a disbelieving scoff. "Oh, that...idiot."

"I heard that," his disembodied voice said, and both women instinctively looked around the room. Catching on, they turned their focus to each other.

"Maze...what did Michael do?"

"He took over," she said simply.

"I'm going to need more than that."

The demon studied her as she rested the nasty end of the iron on the floor, with a soft clatter. "He posed as Lucifer and got the demons' approval. They served him without question, and he made them mask all underworld activities from God. Lucifer did that back in the day, so it was easy. He's been wreaking havoc down there since Lucifer returned to earth, granting heaven to the worst souls."

"What?"

"Yeah, let me think. Uh... Father Kinley, and... Oh, that French guy Dan haunted accidentally."

Visibly panicking, Eve raised her arms, whirled around, hurried to the door, and turned frantically back to Maze. "Would you really have burned me?"

Maze quietly gazed at her...for too long. Now panicking and uncomfortable, Eve wrenched open the door and ran towards the family picnic.

Lucifer and Chloe were both laughing at the table. "Tell me you're kidding," Chloe said.

"I am not, and I said to her, 'There's no Hogwarts in the sky.' She just pretended to know I was kidding, but I saw the look on her face..." His chuckles overtook him.

They shared a very short laugh. Then, all at once, they heard it―a desperate scream that shook in terror.

"LUCIFER!"

He was on his feet before his expression changed, and the sudden interruption and change of atmosphere shattered the dinner. All the divine beings were seeking the negative source. Finding her first, Lucifer started walking, in a vain attempt to help her close the distance between them. She was moving too quickly and was suddenly right in front of him, speaking rapidly and breathlessly.

"Lucifer, your...brother, he, Michael―Amenadiel took me―"

"It's alright, it's alright. Settle down. He's in hell."

She shook her head, gently hitting his chest before grabbing his arms. "Amenadiel," she panted. "Took me there, took me to hell, and Michael..."

"Would you like some water?"

"Michael's inviting just anybody up here. Father Kinley and LeMec, too!"

"What?" Lucifer asked, chuckling again. "He doesn't have the power."

"Well, he stole it! Because he has your face!"

Lucifer acknowledged her words by sparing her another glance and squeezing her hands, but his attention mostly belonged to Maze as she exited the angels' abode, resting the iron over her shoulder as she walked. She wasn't walking towards the family picnic, but she had glanced their way.

"That's your demon," Zadkiel observed.

"Since when does heaven offer sanctuary to those retched animals?" Ibriel roared, and Maze stopped in her tracks, looking at him.

"Hey," Eve said, also looking at him. "Without her, we never would've known, okay? Michael's hiding his bad behavior even from God."

Without a single word, God stood up and left the table. He walked until he was a safe distance away, then let himself dissolve into a glowing light of incredible heat that would have melted the mortals. Eve turned her attention back to Lucifer, only to find that he was closer to Maze than her. Odd...she had never seen him run.

His voice was rather soft. "Maze?"

"I'm sorry. I'm not bound to you now."

"No, I know you're not, but...you can still explain it to me; I'm not your mortal enemy. Am I?" he added, as an afterthought.

"Right now you're not."

"This is not like you...you're not submissive, you're dominant."

"He owns me."

He frowned, unable to believe his ears.

She broke eye contact and whispered, "I have to get back."

"No. You don't."

She turned and quietly walked away, with a graceful posture that defied her disposition. Lucifer couldn't help but admire her backside before he turned away from it. He glanced at his mother just as she waved―but she wasn't looking at him. He turned back around to see that Maze had disappeared into thin air. Or, rather, hot air. He walked back to the table, but remained on his feet as he asked, "Why did you do that?"

"Because I knew what she wanted. I am omniscient, dear."

"Yes, you've always been a bit of a people-pleasing goddess, Mum."

"Oh, Samael, sweetheart. Relax! Everything is under control."

"Is it?"

"For once I agree with him," Ibriel butted in. "We have living humans in heaven. There's a demon here. If everything was under control, these...maggots would be where you intended."

"Ibriel, trust me, we do not agree...nor will we ever. And don't call me Samael. Please," he added, when he realized he'd just given an order to a goddess.

"Fine, son. I will not call you that." Goddess blinked and shook her head as she suddenly realized that the demon had wanted to slit her husband's throat. "But trust me with Mazikeen. She deserves that place."

"How could she deserve it if Dad's the one who made her?" he demanded, emphatically. "She hasn't done anything she wasn't predestined to do! She..." He paused, but decided to keep going, pointing at her in his mounting fury. "She's just a dancer. You two are the choreographers. If anyone's worthy..."

Now his voice trailed off and he just stood there, pointing at her and realizing he had gone too far. Even if it was completely justified. Nobody came to his defense; the only sound at the table was the soft clink of cutlery. He dropped his hand and looked at his several thousand siblings. "Really?" he asked. "Now you decide to shut up?"

"You've fallen, Brother," Zadkiel declared. "You're idolizing underlings."

"May I remind you...Brother," Lucifer said coolly, "That our father created humans and demons just as he created us!"

"So?"

"Well, don't you see? They're just as valuable!"

Enraged shouts began to rise from the table.

"Liar!"

"Vagrant!"

"Traitor!"

"Fool!"

"Death to Chloe Decker!" Ibriel yelled.

Having tried herself to blow Chloe up, Goddess didn't care. She sat back and watched, entertained by it all―letting happen what she knew would happen with a smile.

As other angels echoed Ibriel, Lucifer stared out amongst his siblings with a sinking feeling in his chest. They knew the devil was not a docile creature; it was like they wanted to incur his wrath.

"Come on, guys," Dan pleaded. "You know she's special to your father."

"Well, she shouldn't be!"

"I'm sorry," Lucifer said, with a slight smile, "Are you implying our father made a mistake?"

"No. I'm saying he made quite a few," Ibriel responded. "And as the angel of life, I think it's my duty to take hers!"

Lucifer sobered instantly. "Well, I won't let you."

Before he could realize what had even happened, Ibriel had flung his blade at Chloe. But despite his perfect aim, he missed―because Daniel had jumped in front of her. At the same time, Chloe had panicked and lunged back, breaking the chair and falling to the grass, landing on top of the back of the chair.

"Oh," she groaned. "So not good for Rory."

Opening her eyes, all she could see was Lucifer, rapidly transforming into one hundred percent devil as he knelt and offered his hand. She hesitated, but didn't shrink from him, grabbing his gnarled red hand and allowing him to help her to her feet. Then his arm came around her, and he pressed her against him, wings still proudly erect. Suddenly the angels wouldn't look at them. Suddenly Ibriel's hands were trembling. Realizing something was wrong, Dan tentatively checked over his shoulder―and in a flash was scrambling off the table. He plunged off the side with a yelp. "Ohhh, crap!"

Ibriel lunged, and Lucifer protectively put himself between his brother and his wife. But Ibriel went after Dan, reaching down for his blade. With a wordless shout, Dan rolled away, driving the knife deeper into his chest. Grabbing the handle, he lurched to his feet, then turned and began running. "Gonna have to catch me first!"

Ibriel watched him go, then turned and attempted to strike Chloe. Lucifer grabbed him and they began to fight, and his unbelievably deep, animalistic growls rang through paradise. Stumbling away from the commotion, Chloe backed right up into the table, where a pair of arms went up around her neck and began to squeeze. Until she heard a great impact, and the attacking angel was forced to relinquish their grip. Turning around, Chloe saw that Saraqael had fended off Hanjobadiel, and was still holding the back of Chloe's chair.

Though it seemed the majority was against Chloe, most of them were too afraid to destroy their father's creation and face the consequences.

"Azrael! Execute!" someone shouted.

Chloe continued to slowly walk backwards, her feet moving of their own accord. She was in shock and denial. Suddenly little, tiny Azrael came barreling towards her―only to bounce off an invisible wall. Only upon impact did Chloe see a ripple in the air. She looked wildly around, suddenly spotting the three human-shaped glows taking form.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Amenadiel's voice was so strong and filled with power that it sent shivers up Chloe's spine, and several thousand angry immortals froze in place.

"I've had ENOUGH!" he roared, with even more power. Chloe felt the ground quake beneath her feet, and she fought off a wave of vertigo as Amenadiel strode forth. "Anyone who proceeds with this fight, anyone who thinks of harming anyone, will be sent to HELL!"

Again, the ground shook. Chloe didn't look at Amenadiel, but spared his parents a glance. Neither of them intervened in the new god's judgment.

The angels were intimidated by the Silver City's greatest warrior when he was an equal. Now they bowed to him.

Lucifer was examining his hands, and his stature was drooping. In the silence, his voice seemed loud. "I c-can't change back."

Everyone looked at him.

"Brother?" he said inquisitively. He was still staring at his trembling hands as Amenadiel walked over to him. "I can't...can't change back."

"You can now, Brother."

There was only a slight delay before Lucifer transformed into his human form. He gave a ragged sigh, looking at Amenadiel with moist eyes. "Thank you."

He nodded, and turned as he sensed Chloe's approach. Though he already knew what she was going to ask, he was quiet, letting her speak.

"Is-is it over? Will they hurt me? Will they kill me?"

"I can't say, Chloe."

"But you'll stop them, right?"

Amenadiel looked at her for a moment, making a pained expression.

"You won't stop them," she squeaked.

"I want to, more than anything, but I can't take away their free will!"

She turned and hurried dejectedly in the direction Dan had gone, and Lucifer looked at the man he had just thanked and said, "Screw you, Amenadiel."

"Lucy, I can't."

"Well, I can. You think it's wrong to remove free will? Let's see how you like watching them get obliterated."

He turned and followed Chloe.

God sighed. "Family reunions were supposed to be a good thing."

Chloe turned at the commotion of someone running up behind her, and relaxed when she saw Lucifer. "Detective," he said, "You mustn't worry. I promise, I will ensure you die old and happy."

She slid her hand in his. "You don't need to do that."

"I most certainly do. In fact, whenever I'm in hell, I would like you with me. Please, Detective," he said, his voice momentarily desperate, "I can't lose you."

"Okay. Okay," she said, touching his face with her free hand. She kissed him, and then they kept wandering through the woods.

"And no more family dinners," he muttered. "That was absolute torture."

"Well, you're not getting an argument from me," she said, and they paused when they heard faint grunting, growling, and gasping. Following the sound, they came to the clearing. "Oh my god," she murmured, as they watched Dan. He was sitting in the grass, his back against a log, as he tried to pull the knife out of his chest. Slowly, she and Lucifer advanced upon him; and when he realized he wasn't alone, Dan quickly looked their direction. Despite having a blade penetrating his heart, he instantly relaxed into the grass.

"Oh, thank god. I thought you were the stabby angel."

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked, her voice shaking.

"Yeah. Can't feel a thing. Well, I mean, it's lodged in there really good. Kinda stuck."

Lucifer knelt, grabbed the hilt, and quickly pulled it out; then surprised Chloe even more by helping Dan get up.

"Thanks, Lucifer," Dan said. He looked so sad that it left Chloe breathless.

"No worries. I mean, it's the least I can do; you are stuck with my family forever."

"Well, since you're stuck with Chloe..." Dan paused, quickly looking at her. "I didn't mean it like that."

She smiled at him, finding his goofy nature completely adorable and missing him profoundly.

"I mean, I know I shouldn't be asking you for any favors, but..."

"Come on, Danny boy, out with it. You know you want to," Lucifer said, with a taunting tone and grin.

Dan chuckled. "I mean, if you could maybe...I don't know. Since you're immortal and dating her and all. Maybe you could protect her."

"Oh, I will. Absolutely, in fact I'm way ahead of you."

He paused, looking as awkward as he felt when Dan embraced him. "I'm sor―are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just... It's hard being dead." Dan found it in himself to grin again. "It's hard knowing I can't protect them myself."

"Hmm? Oh, yes, the child."

"You know, that would really bum me out right now, but I just learned how many siblings you keep track of, so..."

"Yes. Think I've had more than enough of those fools."

Dan chuckled again.

"Well, I hate to un-stab you and run, but I've got something to check up on in hell, it seems, so I'd best find Eve. Chloe, what say we rendezvous at the gate? Then I can skip...all this," he said, motioning with a hand.

"Sure."

"Very well. Bye-bye, Daniel. Enjoy death." He adjusted his tux as he walked away.

Left alone with Chloe, Dan looked down at the forest floor. "So," was all he could say, before she had pulled him into her arms. He squeezed her back, listening to her sobs.

"I don't want to let you go," she whispered.

"Hey. Chloe, it'll be okay. You can visit me."

"It's not okay. Nothing's okay," she wept brokenly.

"I know," he said, and squeezed her tighter. "I know."