Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.

The next few weeks saw Konoha suffering through a long, drawn-out war.

A prank war, to be specific. Not that there was any less psychological damage than if it were a real war, but Naruko was sure it'd be fine. Konohans, while extremely close-minded, were strangely resilient. Like cockroaches.

… Dammit, I'm hanging out with Hari too much.

Moving on.

The day she went out with swamp-green coloured hair was strangely liberating. She never realised how stressful it was to be constantly recognised by everyone, but the different hair colour actually gave her some anonymity. It was freeing.

Of course, that only lasted an hour before someone recognised her and word spread out, but still.

It wasn't like she could show that she was appreciative of that prank though (swamp-green really did not go well with her orange). So in retaliation, she started off strong. Knowing that Hari absolutely did not like red bean cakes, she played around with a proximity seal, and managed to make a seal that would cause an object to float behind the target. She had to surreptitiously get some of his blood, which wasn't too hard (due to her divine-like luck, she was present when Hari had a nosebleed), and voila! The next day, Konoha witnessed Hari being followed around by an army of red bean cakes, floating mysteriously in the air wherever Hari went; at work, during the streets, or even at the Hokage tower! The kids (and some adults) had a field day, excitedly eating red bean cakes out of thin air.

Naruko almost busted her gut laughing because Hari? Hari did not look amused.

A few days later, the same thing happened to Naruko, except that she was followed by a bunch of foxes (it's actually a skulk of foxe- shut up, Sakura-chan). At the beginning of the day, some people were wary, because they still had that ingrained prejudice against those cute animals (like come on! We're supposed to be over the whole scared-of-foxes thing!), and there were quite a few accidents where those cheeky little kits knocked some things over. But most people laughed at her and played with the cute animals. The best part of her day was when one of them actually managed to sleep on Kakashi-sensei's head during a meeting with him. She could still feel that phantom pain in her cheeks whenever she thought of that moment.

(To be honest, a part of Naruko was confused, because she was pretty sure that Hari was a civilian. Did he sprinkle her with a fox-equivalent of catnip? Does he have a contract with foxes? Was he a closet seal-master? She still hasn't figured it out.)

Naruko had to up her game after that. After all, Hari's prank made both the villagers and her laugh. The next one had to make him laugh too. There were not a lot of things that made him laugh though. To be honest, the only times Hari seemed to genuinely find something funny was when he told stories of pranking his teachers and breaking school rules. On a level, she understood, because there was something really liberating about rebelling against authority. She herself made the rule to not prank workplaces though, which was a bit regretful.

So instead, as a homage to her best academy-day prank, Naruko painted over the Hokage mountain again, working with her shadow clones (Kami, she absolutely loves her shadow clones) to paint the faces as if they were clowns in those travelling circuses, which is a huge upgrade from swirly cheeks. After she finished in the early morning hours, she sat on top of the Hokage's tower, making sure to get the best view of everyone's reactions.

There was a civilian man walking his dog. He looked pretty tired, so he stretched out his arms and lifted his head up to try and wake himself up. He was expecting a Hokage mountain. He was not expecting white faces with bright eyes and huge smiles. To Naruko's glee, he screamed.

Immediately, ninjas burst out from whatever holes they were hiding in, and once they figured out the man's cause of shock, they groaned.

"Dammit, I thought those two pranks were a fluke."

"She better not touch ANBU headquarters like last time." There was a collective shudder amongst her ex-victims.

"Dammit Naruko!" came the familiar cry of Iruka-sensei, "Not again!"

By the time Hari came out, civilians and ninjas alike were pointing at the mountain, some laughing, some sighing in despair at the desecration of their beloved idols. Hari looked up at the mountain, then looked at her grinning cheekily a few metres away, ignoring Iruka-sensei's scolding. To her poor heart's surprise, he let out a genuine snort and chuckled gently. She watched dazedly as he went on his way, frustrating Iruka-sensei further as her eyes glazed over.

What was that?

…

The war continued. One day, Naruko introduced Hari to more of her friends over lunch, and somehow turned into a canary. Another day, Hari walked around with a devastating Sexy Technique. That day, his shop had the highest record of sales.

(Hari was still secretly unsure whether to thank Naruko for allowing him to walk around looking "just like yer mother, but with yer father's hair", or throttle her for making him experience being hit on uncomfortably by some idiots who didn't realise that he was actually Hari. (He'd rather not think of any other reason they would hit on him, thanks.))

But then a week later, Hari surprised Konoha with a game-changer.

…

Naruko woke up feeling like she was going to lose something. She checked her apartment, her closet, her Gama-chan, and even her precious ramen hoard. Nothing was out of place. But she still had this feeling.

She walked out, tense and alert. Something was going to happen. Whatever it was, she'll be ready. After all, she was Konoha's, one and only, most unpredictable ninj-

"Hey ****!"

A loud beep pierced the air. Naruko stared at Sakura in shock. Sakura had her mouth open in shock. Everyone stood and stared at her (you guessed it) in shock.

"Kaa-chan," a little girl tugged at her mum's clothes, cutting through the gaping silence. "Did kunoichi-san say a bad word?"

Naruko snapped out of it. "What was that, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura looked confused. "I have no idea, I was just saying 'Hey ****'- it happened again!"

A crowd was forming around the two women. Naruko tilted her head in astonishment. "Well, what were you trying to say?"

"I was trying to say your… name…!"

Sakura and Naruko looked at each other simultaneously. "No way…!" Naruko breathed. She cleared her throat. "My name is **** ****!"

Naruko couldn't help but be flabbergasted. How in the hell?!

Sakura snorted. "This is too funny," she laughed, "Did Hari-san actually turn your name into a TV swear?"

Intrigued, people from the crowd tested Sakura's hypothesis, and scared themselves silly when they heard a cacophony of loud beeps at the same time. Sakura burst out laughing at that moment, beside herself at the absolute bewilderment and awe on Naruko's face.

Amidst the crowd's growing perplexity, Naruko spied a messenger hawk with an orange ribbon. Non-emergency, but urgent. Naruko sighed. Figures that Kakashi-sensei would blame her for this whole thing.

…

"***-" Kakashi-sensei cut himself, a long-suffering look on his face.

"Isn't this Hari guy supposed to be a civilian?" he muttered.

Naruko shrugged. "Honestly, I'm starting to think that he might be a closet seal master or something. Otherwise, none of this would make any sense."

"And from these reports, it's happening only within Konoha's walls."

Despite herself, Naruko was impressed. "Damn. I have got to get him to teach me that."

"No. Get him to stop."

"But-"

"No."

"Ka-"

"Hmm? What's this? An application for Ichiraku Ramen to open up a second branch?"

"Your word is my command, Hokage-sama."

…

Safe to say, Konoha unanimously agreed that the mysterious Hari was the winner of the Prank War.