Her heart spasmed around his fingers. The waves of the sea and chirp of Chidori beat down on his ears, and Rin smiled like nothing was wrong.
Though they were mere inches apart, she stumbled into him, jostling his lightning coated fingers and pushing herself further upon his arm. Rindid not cry. Rindid not flinch. Instead, her smile grew wider.
"Ka—ka—shi," she whispered, almost drowned out by the Kiri nin behind them. A sluggish trail of blood crept down the corner of her mouth. "You should know how I feel about you."
A bloodstained hand reached up, up, and up, towards his cheek. Rin's head tilted, and warm blood smeared down his cheekbone. The fingers paused, then went farther, up and up, towards his eye. Obito's eye. In response, the sound of Chidori grew louder, from a simple bird song to the screech of a thousand mourning birds. Blue light flashed far too violently for Rin's sereneexpression.
"You should know how I feel. Kakashi, you should know how I feel." Kakashi's hands shook. He tried to remove his hand from Rin's chest, but it remained trapped in a prison of blood and muscle and bone. The smile tilted down, and Rin's eyebrows furrowed.
"Kakashi."
"Kakashi."
"Ka—ka—SHI!"
Kakashi was up with a choked gasp. The air prickled his clammy skin, and he immediately rose on shaky legs. The clock innocently read 03:12.
3 hours. It was the same as the past few days.
He blinked as he found himself in his kitchen. His left hand had already turned the faucet, soap prepared. Kakashi began to scrub. Back of the hands, to get rid of the blood. Between the fingers, to clean out any bits of muscle. Under the nails, to flush out the cartilage. Bloody soap on his hands. Rinse. Pat dry.
He turned off the water. Kakashi's hands were still unclean.
(Always unclean.)
He turned on the water. Washed again. And again. And again. And again.
On wash 5, he felt like he could breathe a bit easier. On wash 7, his muscles began to loosen. It took wash 14 for his eyes to release their myopic grip on his raw fingers. They weren't clean, but he could pretend they were now. Kakashi stuck his hands into gloves, drank a glass of water, and went out for a run.
—
Officially, he wasn't allowed on missions outside the village. Not yet. The Sandaime told him to recover and rest for a week, like there wasn't a war just outside the gates. Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee had already gone back out to help with the war front. There was nothing else he wanted to do. Except… except….
"Minato-sensei went back to the frontlines, and Kushina-nee is fighting with her team." he said softly in the silence. "I'm here for now."
Kakashi wanted to support his sensei, the way he had since he was 6 years old and just became the man's apprentice. At the same time, he already had Rin's and Obito's blood on his hands. Maybe Sensei was safer in war than he was (near Kakashi) in the village.
"I know you don't want me to be here." He couldn't bring his eyes to stare at the headstone for the (empty) grave. It was maybe 5 in the morning, and no one besides Kakashi stood by the Memorial stone.
Kakashi kept his eyes on his shoes. "Apologies mean nothing, and I don't deserve forgiveness. I know, but…. I'msorry,Obito." His voice wavered. "I'm so sorry."
It was all he could say.I didn't know she would jump in front of meorRin's mother thought she was suicidalrested on his tongue, but he wouldn't voice them.
Obito would scream. Cry. The only time Obito showed any sense of urgency was when Rin was in danger, and for her to die on Kakashi's watch, by Kakashi's hand... Obito would never look him in the eye again. He could imagine the quiet of the morning as Obito's sullen silence, the only response he'd receive for the rest of his life.
He couldn't say anything for the next while, too focused on the burgeoning lump in his throat, so Kakashi settled himself to cleaning Obito's inscription with practiced fingers, replacing the withered bunch of lilies with a new bouquet from Yamanaka Flowers. Obito's grandmother must not have come by in about a week or so.
Kakashi finished with his task and finally brought his eyes up to the stone. It felt like the Memorial Stone mocked him with its silence; so unlike Obito, so distant from the teammate he had, but… fitting, because Kakashi had taken Obito's best friend from the world.
"I thought I could protect her. I thought I could…" The words ran together, jumbled into another heavy lump in his throat, so he bowed his head. "I hope you two have found each other."
"If you ask me, there was never any keeping them apart," an increasingly familiar voice said. Kakashi flinched, and turned, heart beating rapidly. How had she—
"I thought you were finishing your mission," he blurted.
"The rest of my mission needed to be finished in Konoha." That…was odd. What kind of missions did Tsutsuji run?
But there Tsutsuji-san was, holding her own flowers. "Thank you for setting the flowers on Obito's grave." She kneeled next to him. "I haven't been able to come by in far too long."
She sat next to the grave with the ease of someone who had been there many times, bowing her head. Kakashi rose to leave and let her pay her respects in silence, but she began speaking almost immediately.
"Hello Obito-kun. It's been a while." Through the curtain of black hair, Kakashi could make out a small smile. "I was able to help Haruki-ojisan with his garden this morning. I thought of the time you came to our apartment covered in soil, begging Rin to help the next time. I believe she did, but I had to leave for another mission."
It felt wrong to be here, but somehow, Kakashi couldn't get himself to leave. He hadn't realised just how much time Obito and Rin spent together outside of the Academy and missions. He had always thought that Rin had humored him, knowing about his feelings and being too nice to ever say anything. He should have known, should have known that his teammates were friends,closefriends.
What he wouldn't give for a second chance.
"Thank you for watching over Rin, and being her best friend. Thank you, for all the service you've given to Konoha, in and out of the village. You are missed."
Her head was still bowed, but Kakashi thought he saw a drop of water fall onto Obito's grave. Tsutsuji's voice remained even.
"You both are so, so missed."
It had taken days, but Rin had finally reached the edge of Mountain's Graveyard. She looked down at her filthy, bloodstained shirt, riddled with holes. Chidori had punctured the first hole in the fabric, and the coral she shot out of her body had only added to her issue; her bindings were the only thing protecting her from the world. Rin crossed her arms. She desperately needed a change of clothes.
From the thicket of the forest, she could see the beginning of the path, most likely leading to Takigakure. Her mouth flattened. She didn't want to steal from a smaller, wartorn nation no less, but her stomach turned inside out from hunger and she was sure looked (and smelled) like a character from the godsawful horror films Kurenai loved.
Rin could feel Ashura's trepidation.We'll probably have to suppress your chakra again, he said.Hopefully, in Taki we can find some sealing paper and ink, and we can work on your control.
She sighed. Another thing she'd need to steal.
Rin took a breath, held it, and released.Do it.
Fire burned along her chakra coils, while acid roiled in her gut. She lost the contents of her stomach in a bush. All she could do was wait for the world to stop ringing in her ears.
Isobu tried to send her comfort from the soulspace.It will get easier, Ashura said from the mindspace. Once you're able to seal away parts of your chakra, we can start to control your chakra, we'll never have to do this again.
Rin couldn't nod. She struggled to her feet minutes later, swaying lightly. Her body still felt like one big bruise, but her chakra aura had faded. With shaking steps, she began the path towards Taki.
She didn't know what to expect from the village. From what she knew of Obito and Kakashi's memories, Taki was situated with a network of underwater caves, but neither of them had ever entered the village.
(Obito had ordered one of the Akatsuki to kill the young jinchuriki there. Rin tried not to think about it.)
The thick forest of Mountain's Graveyard yielded to smaller, more spindly trees. Up ahead, she could see small pools of water that seemed deceptively shallow. Which ones led to the network of underground caves?
Rin! Come to the mindspace for a second.
She frowned, but took refuge behind some trees, closing her eyes and falling into herself.
Ashura stood the farthest away from Isobu's head. Naruto sat on the ledge, kicking his feet and bickering with Mikazuki.
"Red is better!"
"Thank you," Mikazuki shot back. Rin had never heard a thank you sound like an insult before. "But it's too identifiable. Brown or Black would be better."
"But Mum's hair is red," Naruto groaned. He laid back on the barrier between Rin's soul and mind. "It would becool."
Mikazuki raised an eyebrow. "Isthatyour main concern?"
"Ashura?" Rin called. "What do you need?"
They all turned to her. Though coming from different walks of life, different generations, they all had an identical look of determination on their faces. It was a bit bizarre, like watching henged clones with the same expression. She wouldn't say that out loud.
Mikazuki's smiled "Finally, another voice of reason."
"Another?" Hashirama muttered. Mikazuki shot him a dirty look. Before another 'discussion' could continue, Ashura jumped in.
"Ah, Rin! Thank you, we need to discuss something important."
Rin sat on the ground. "Like what?"
"You need a new identity," Mikazuki said. "You're too identifiable to the Zetsu."
"And Obito." Naruto added.
Mikazuki made a face, like she'd smelled something bad. "Him too."
Before Rin could say anything about it, the first Hokage spoke. "In order for Obito to continue his plans and for the Zetsu to continue their plans, no one can know you're alive until we're able to infiltrate Akatsuki and stop them." He gave her a gentle smile, and Rin could almost forget that this man was one of the most powerful people to ever walk the five nations. "Do you have any ideas?"
"Red hair!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Do you want her to be caught?"
"How areyouof all people against red for Rin?"
Mikazuki rolled her eyes. "I'm thinking brown hair, or black. What do you think, Rin?"
She thought of her mother, with hair that always stayed long and smooth after all her missions. The hair she used to plead to braid growing up. "Black."
Naruto grinned. Mikazuki laughed.
"If she's going with black hair, maybe we base her off the Senju?" Hashirama said. "After all, it is her clan." He looked apologetic. "We would also need to henge your Nohara markings."
Right, she had descended from the Senju. It was still an odd thought. Her father was a Nohara. Her mother was clanless. Which of them could have had Senju blood? Or was it both of them?
She could understand the need to hide though, but, "I can barely control my chakra," she said.
The entire group smiled a similar grin. It was honestly a bit creepy. Kurenai would love a movie like this, reincarnations that acted similar and tried changing the world. "That's where we come in! We'll help you keep it up," Ashura said.
He waved a hand. "So first, black hair." In the mindscape, her hair went from dark brown to black. She blinked at the dark strands.
"I…can the hair be long?" She swallowed. "Please?"
No one spoke as her hair gained length, falling over her shoulders.
"You'll need to be able to either tie up your hair or wear senbon for fights, until you're able to fight with long hair and not get caught," Mikazuki said. Her smile had taken on a serrated edge. Rin took in Mikazuki's hair, waist length and wine red, and grinned back similarly.
"The Senju were tanned, as well." Her skin darkened slightly, looking like she'd spent an entire summer at Moriya beach. "And we have to give you the Senju nose." Hashirama grinned. It's only right."
"But won't people think I'm a Senju?" And there was only one left…
"Not quite." The Hokage's eyes dimmed. Because there are so few left, from what I understand, everyone except Tsuna have been out of the bingo books for a long time, people won't recognize the features as Senju, so to speak. If you had wood release, though, this would be a different story."
They continued like that, making Rin a bit taller, changing her facial features. And then…
"You need a name," Ashura said. "Do you have any ideas—"
Nori! Isobu called from her mind, and Rin could feel the hunger that came with it. Rin wanted to wrinkle her nose. Seaweed? Would she really name herself after…
"It's close enough to your name that you'd respond,Ashura added, amused.
"It'sseaweed."
"It also means belief," Hashirama said, with a grin. "Which we all need, especially now."
Rin sighed, and looked at herself in the water's reflection, and nearly took a step back. She couldn't recognize herself at all. And if Obito could call himself Tobi and get away with it for years, Rin thought, perhaps she could do the same.
"Nori, then." Rin said, with a small grimace.
"Senju Nori," Hashirama said with a bright grin.
-
Men, women and children walked around the pools in an apparent trail towards somewhere, but Rin couldn't see where. They all appeared bedraggled, with worn faces and heavy steps that oddly reminded Rin of her mother. She swallowed her homesickness.
Rin pushed away her hunger and nerves, before walking up to one of the movers.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm trying to get to Taki, do you think you can help me?"
Rin underestimated just how terrible she looked. The woman in question, did not respond to her question. She let out a small noise of dismay.
"Child," she breathed, "What happened to you?"
Other people look over, and soon, Rin has the attention of most of the group. They don't hesitate—despite their own meager resources, the group scraped together extra clothes, a pair of sandals, bindings, and washcloths. She was unceremoniously submerged into one of the small pools of water in the area, watching the surrounding water turn brown and red with dirt and blood. Her clothes were unsurprisingly, unsalvageable.
Despite the blood and dirt, though, no wounds remained on her skin. Only a circle of knotted scar tissue on her breast, spindling out with lichtenburg figures, like a miniature sun. The hands of the woman helping Rin shook as she wiped blood away from the mark.
When she's bathed and dressed, and a hot, oily fish placed in her hands, they really speak.
"Taki is a war zone," the woman, Minori, said. She's the mother of five, but only three children pressed to her sides. They're civilians, they all are, from what Rin could see. Minori clutched her fish to herself, with the desperation of someone who's lost too much too soon. "Torn between Konoha and Iwa. It's notsafefor a child, even a ninja child like yourself."
Ninja child. Rin fought the urge to wrinkle her nose. She was a kunoichi. She had been for years. She fought through war. She couldn't be a child.
But shewasdesperate, so she played it up. "Please, my best friend is hurt, and I need to find him. He's alone and scared and I don't know what he's going to do if I can't help him. I—" Why did her throat close? She took a bite of the fish. Isobu hummed happily in her mind.
Maybe…It was a bit closer to the truth that she liked.
She swallowed roughly. "We've been friends for eight years. He knows everything about me, and I know everything about him. And he doesn't know where I am and I don't know where he is but I need tofindhim before anything happens."
Rin looked down at the fish.
She was worried, worried about the things Obito was capable of. The boy who stuffed shells into his pocket for her and the man who threatened a new born baby couldn't be the same person to her, some days. But she knows how powerful grief can be, knows how it spurred her to study medicine after her father passed. She knows how powerful grief can be, when she watches her mother return from mission after mission.
"Please,"it was all she could say. Minori looked devastated.
"I have children older than you that I would never let out of my sight," she whispered. "War does not care for the sick, the young, the old. Your friend is most likely gone. Don't throw your life away."
"Heisn't." Rin insisted. "And my friend is hurt and needs myhelp."
Minori stared at Rin, before sighing. "Keep walking in the opposite way of us. You will hear Taki before you see it."
"Thank you so much—"
"If you get into the village, child, and stay alive, go to the Bodhi tree. It's been believed to grant wishes."
Minori looked at her like she was imagining her grave. Rin didn't have to imagine. She knew how much was at stake. But the moment she was able to start controlling her chakra, she would be able to get stronger, strong enough to save Obito and get rid of Zetsu.
"Nori, I hope, for your sake, it grants yours."