45) Tell Me What You Want To Hear

Riddick waited in the passenger lounge reading until the ship had quieted. Relatively speaking anyway. The heartbeats around him softened, slowed, one by one until he knew everyone in the dorms had slipped into sleep. River's wasn't among them though. He'd heard her steps earlier, like a cat, soft up the stairs to the bridge for her shift, and now he guessed she had headed to the galley once her shift was over, and Mal was on the bridge.

It didn't take him long to do the same. Silent as the ghost he'd turned so many into. When he got there, River didn't seem surprised. He'd seen knowledge in her eyes, too much of it, and now he needed to know just how much trouble he was in. "River," He nodded at her as if this were just a normal, middle of the night, run in (maybe before or after they'd had one of their sparring matches) and headed to the stove to make tea. "Want some?"

"Veneer of courtesy," She murmured. Her voice, always so soft in his ears, as if she realized how loud the rest of the world seemed to him. "But yes, please. Tea would be nice."

He grabbed cups, tea, waited until the kettle was close to boiling and poured the hot water over the leaves. One of the tricks Inara had taught him with green tea, pour it just before boiling point or the leaves got scalded and the taste, for those who appreciated such things, was ruined. River nodded approvingly as he handed her the cup and wrapped her fingers around it as if they were chilled. "You cold?" He nodded at her hands.

"Extremities are usually colder than the rest of the body," She shrugged. "Accentuated when movement slows or ceases entirely."

Right, her blood wasn't moving as fast so of course her hands and feet would get cold. For a moment he let himself think of wrapping his body around hers, feet tucked between his calves, hands against his chest, her head beneath his chin, warm and sated and ready for sleep. Probably the tamest fantasy he'd ever had about a woman since he'd realized they were good for more than smelling nice and looking pretty. Definitely the tamest he'd had about her. And unlikely to happen if she actually knew who he was.

River's eyes darkened, pupils widening and her scent…that spicy scent he enjoyed so much grew heady in his nose. Her lips parted and that kitten tongue flicked over them, her heartbeat increasing. He couldn't help himself, (wasn't sure he really wanted to anyway) he stared at her and thought of how he wanted to drape those long legs over his shoulders and devour the center of her. He could picture it, perfectly framed in his mind. He wanted it so damn bad he could practically taste her. And that was a pretty damn surprising first for him. When he got down to it who knew if he'd be able to follow through. Just wanting it was shocking enough.

Her breath caught, legs shifted, and her hands tightened on the cup, heat blooming through her body, skin flushing. Experimentally he pictured her straddling him in the chair, how he'd put his mouth on her neck and nibble, wrap his hand in her hair and take her mouth, pressing his body to hers. More heat, more of that hot spicy scent, her heart like a bird's wings in her chest. "Yòng yí gè ā ěr dé wǎ kè cāo wǒ de liǎn…"

The theory that he'd half discarded. The sneaking itchy feeling in his mind that there was so much more to this woman than met the eye. "Should've trusted my first instinct," He muttered staring at her in amazement. "Didn't think it was really possible. And you're damn good at hiding it. You're a Reader, aren't you?"

"Betrayed by biology," She sighed and shook her head, lifting her tea to sip it. Funny she didn't seem pissed at him for the fantasies, not even the more explicit one.

"Seems only fair, considering you've known my secrets from the get," He returned without heat. "And if you hadn't, thanks to that most recent fiasco you'd have figured them out."

"His…skills… are such that, to an informed mind, he is unmistakable," She nodded. "Mercs saying his name was merely confirmation of knowledge already possessed."

"You know, but Mal doesn't," Riddick realized after a moment. If Mal had known there's no way the man would have pretended otherwise. It was in Mal's nature; upfront about everything, at least with his crew. Why hadn't she told the Captain who he was, who they all were? What had stopped her?

She smiled, shrugged at him and took another sip of her tea. He did the same thing, enjoying the warmth and taste on his tongue as he considered the woman across from him. She stood and went to a cabinet as he watched her. Every movement without hurry but not too slow either. She moved like no one he'd ever seen. Not even Inara, with all the grace of a trained Companion, could compare to how River moved. Even when they weren't sparring, she was all grace. He moved like a predator, light, soundless, all economy of movement. But River… yeah, she had economy of movement, but it was more than that. He could spend a good hour (or more given the chance) just watching her move.

When was the last time he'd done anything like that (before Serenity and River)? Found anyone (or anything) so fascinating that he'd just watch them? Those sky sharks had been an awesome sight. Beautiful and deadly (even to him) but River… he didn't have the words for how she looked. He'd have been happy to sit and watch her.

Of course, he also wanted to press her up to the cabinets and see if her mouth tasted as gorgeous as she looked and smelled.

"Rejoining the human race," She brought a plate of warmed stir fry rice and chicken over with two sets of chopsticks. "Takes belief." Dark eyes looked at him as she moved to turn the lights down. "So that he is comfortable." Even with the lenses Simon had put in to protect his eyes from light, he found the darkness and shadows more hospitable. Too much time spent in them he guessed. His shine job let him see every nuance of her face as she sat down across from him. She'd put herself at a disadvantage, so he'd feel more at ease. When was the last time anyone had done that for him? A big fat never. "Full fathom five thy father lies; of his bones are coral made; those are pearls that were his eyes: nothing of him that doth fade, but doth suffer a sea-change into something rich and strange."

Well, that didn't tell him much, but she didn't have that acrid scent of fear most people did when they saw his eyes. Never had, even when she first saw them. And that warm wanting scent of her hadn't faded either. "So, you didn't tell the Captain because Carolyn talked me into this…exercise in futility?"

"Not futile. Takes belief," She repeated. "In yourself. But others must believe in you before you can believe in yourself." River's dark lips curved into a smile, "Simon always believed in me. When Mal began to believe, that was when everything changed." She looked past him, down the hallway to the bridge where presumably Mal sat. "He didn't believe in me so much as…he believed in something greater."

"God," Riddick barely kept himself from rolling his eyes.

"Hardly," River did roll her eyes, and smirked along with it. "But he found something. A truth to fight for, live for. We all lost a lot. But I got better. Jayne left and without his…thoughts…the constant barrage of them…pushing at me I felt even better."

"That when the Pilot died," He asked quietly.

"And Book," River nodded. "He was the most frightening person on Serenity besides Zoë, but he was ours. Even though he'd gone, he was still ours."

"So, what're you planning to do," He really needed to know if he had to run again. She could talk about belief all she wanted, and he could clearly trust her to keep his secrets but if the Captain figured it out… He was screwed and so were Carolyn and Jack.

"Will keep your secrets. And Carolyn's. Although she already has told the Captain of her actions during the crash. If you will keep mine," She tilted her head. "Trust is hard for you. We could call it mutually assured destruction if you like."

That got him half snorting out a laugh and he shook his head, "I'll do my best to call it trust. Just…"

"Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first, the trust part comes later. Minds are not changed in days or weeks, or even months. You had to want to try, had to believe it was possible." Dark eyes, kind and warm, watching him in sympathy, "When you first came aboard, could see that you deserved the chance to try. Too difficult to change when all eyes regard you with suspicion and caution. Kept the secret so you would have the chance," River nodded as if she understood. And hell, likely she did. He couldn't change his nature, or the way he thought, and he wasn't sure he wanted to, since it had kept him alive and free. But he could do his best to not look at everyone with suspicion of inevitable betrayal at least on the boat. "Lied," She offered the word quietly.

"You? About what?" She'd just said she had faith in him.

"The boards from the Hunter Gratzner's cortex, the black box, were not damaged by the heat of the planet," Slender shoulders lifted in a shrug.

"They were fine," He tilted his head as he took that in. "So how did Kaylee not find my name?"

"Magnets still have an adverse effect upon many parts of the cortex," She smiled. "He was not ready for anyone to know. Took steps to be certain no one but she would."

"That's…" If Mal had caught her, figured out her play, what would the Captain have done?

"To her? Nothing," River shook her head. "To you… most likely nothing. She decided the risk was worth the reward."

"Reward," Riddick frowned. So, what did she want? They were… he'd thought they were getting closer…

"The reward of his continued company," She smiled, a bit shyly. "For him to be able to stay on the boat. Worth any amount of bluster and shouting from her Captain." Well, that was a helluva thing to hear. He didn't think anyone had ever risked…anything…in order to keep him around. Carolyn and Jack, a little bit but they had as much to lose as he did really. River was safe, had her family and her place on the ship but she'd risked upsetting everyone by hiding his identity.

He focused on the food and ate a bit more while he thought about that. He hadn't been wrong to trust her with pieces of his past. Had been right that the two of them had things in common that not many would understand. He looked at her and thought about kissing her again, tasting the softness of the skin over her neck.

"Did he mean it," She asked after they'd eaten most of the plate of food.

"Mean what?" He frowned. Not understanding something rubbed him wrong. Made him feel like he had a blind spot. At least River was generally willing to explain when he had questions. She didn't smirk in amused condescension over the ignorant convict attempting a higher level of understanding. Part of why he liked her so much, she just explained and moved on without attitude.

"Earlier thoughts, of keeping her feet warm?"

Oh those, Riddick smiled. "Yeah. Yeah I did." He shrugged, "Got plenty more where those came from."

She giggled, that was the only word for it, a soft ripple of a laugh, throaty and sweet, "No doubt." Her eyes danced with amusement, "Men are all alike."

"Oh," He tilted his head. "Most men fantasize about cuddling you and warming those cold feet and hands?"

"Meant the fantasies about sex," River rolled her eyes at him.

"Well yeah, of course," His turn to smirk, wicked thoughts running through his head. "Which ones do you like best?"

"The kissing ones," She said promptly. "You feel those…very strongly." Almost immediately she added the qualifier, "All of the thoughts you've had of me are strong…even the ones tonight. The explicit thoughts."

He thought he got what she meant, whenever he thought of kissing her it came with a surge of lust and hunger, and he tended to really dwell on how she'd feel against him and how he wanted her lips on his. "Emotions make thoughts stronger," He clarified, and she nodded.

"Very," River agreed. "You have more control over your thoughts than most…discipline…you don't allow yourself to panic or let your feelings ride you. Don't let fantasies color every thought."

"No." That he didn't. "Good way to get yourself killed."

"Going to?"

"Going to what?" He wondered if it was a side effect of being a genius, having thoughts bounce from one thing to another and having to wait for everyone else to catch up. Must be irritating as hell. Just as annoying as he found waiting for people to see or hear or smell (or notice in any form or fashion) what he did.

"Kiss her," River tilted her head at him, mirroring his position and he grinned.

"I might do," He leaned forward. "If you straddle me like I was thinking earlier."

"Had several thoughts of her straddling him," She reminded him, a smile teasing her lips.

"The one with your clothes on, in the chair here," Riddick grinned wider. Damn he liked this girl. All give and take with knives under her clothes. "C'mere." He eyed the distance between them, "Unless you want me to put you there."

"Think I would very much like that." She leaned forward in invitation for him to pull her into his lap and he was damn tempted to do exactly that.

And then Mal's step sounded on the bridge stairs, coming towards them and he sighed, leaning back. River's mouth turned down for a moment, but she did the same before picking up the plate and chopsticks. Later, he thought firmly of putting her back to the pantry door and taking her mouth, hands holding her up so their faces were level, and her legs could wrap around his waist. Later I will kiss you and mean it.

Her blush was reward enough for that thought and he grinned at her as she smiled, pink cheeked.

Author's Note: So someone finally surprised Riddick. But he figured it out! I'm very proud of him because that's a heck of an intuitive leap. I didn't think it was much of a stretch for River to not tell Mal about Riddick either. She can tell he doesn't mean them any harm and telling Mal would be counterproductive since the Captain's reaction wouldn't be good. So why not give Riddick the time on Serenity to rejoin the human race.

So you're getting this a day early, mostly because I got Covid last week and tomorrow I'm supposed to be back at work. Since I don't know if I'll have the presence of mind or energy to even put thought towards posting the chapter I'm putting it up today. Enjoy!

Chinese Translations:

Yòng yí gè ā ěr dé wǎ kè cāo wǒ de liǎn (fuck me in the face with an aardvark)…

Quote Sources:

Full fathom five thy father lies; of his bones are coral made; those are pearls that were his eyes: nothing of him that doth fade, but doth suffer a sea-change into something rich and strange. - The Tempest - William Shakespeare

Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first, the trust part comes later. – Man Of Steel