Chapter 30: The Lion's First Step
It was nice that Tigerclaw took my warning story seriously. He'd backed off pestering Fireheart. That didn't mean he wasn't shooting hateful glances whenever he got the chance, but it wasn't worth policing that hostility. Strangely enough, Tigerclaw seemed to respect me more for threatening him. I rarely got dawn patrol and he usually put me with Darkstripe or Fireheart. There was a constant though. Ravenfeather somehow was always with me. If I had hunting duty, he had hunting duty. If I had a patrol, well guess who had it as well? Both Tigerclaw and Bluestar seemed dead set on ensuring that was a constant, not that I minded. He was one of the few cats I actually trusted as a friend. It made keeping him safe all the easier.
Things were mostly quiet until the halfmoon arrived. With Yellowfang leaving the camp, I was designated the sit in cat for Lionheart, seeing as I seemed to be the only other cat in camp that could patch a wound. Maybe it was time to get networking again. Lionheart may be dumber than Tigerclaw, but he's charismatic and has a lot of influence.
When I laid down in the medicine den, for once not smelling strongly of mint but instead a myriad of herbal smells with a hint of ammonia, I finally got a good chance to look at his wound. Lionheart had a large scab seeming to wrap his leg. Despite my efforts, the wound had likely still bled badly and the medicine cat likely left it to scab up instead of cleaning it since he'd bled so much. That leg's muscles had atrophied slightly. It wasn't much, but it looked different in comparison to his other legs. On top of the existing tear of muscles, a couple cords seemed to be strained tight. I could see him wince as he subtly shifted in his nest. At least Yellowfang gave me some instructions if this were to happen. He was going to hate me for it, but I could do a bit of therapy.
"Lionheart." I mewed to get his attention.
"Smudgefoot. Good to see you. I'd rise to meet you but…" He said while looking down at his wounded leg.
"Well, Yellowfang gave me some instructions. It's going to hurt, so you can either choose to bite a stick for the pain, or some moss to keep the kits from learning to swear. Your choice." I responded with an almost teasing tone.
Lionheart's ears fell flat. He already knew what I was going to do and dreaded it. The only relief he'd get would be those strained muscles settling down after the therapy. This was going to hurt.
"I'll take the stick." He mewed with a bit of a whimper.
I brought over the stick medicine cats commonly used when a queen was giving birth. Lionheart clamped down on it as I began. My technique was a bit different than Yellowfang's. As I moved the leg through its full motion set, I kneaded his leg to try and massage the muscle. I could hear him crying through the therapy, but I knew this was necessary. Soon, the muscles relaxed, and he could move through the motions on his own. He dropped the stick at that point.
"Are you sure you aren't a medicine cat?" Lionheart teased while trying to conceal his ragged breathing.
"Nope. I'm a warrior, but I wouldn't mind learning some battle medicine. Nothing to do with diseases, but having a cat on the field that could treat wounds would up our survivability." I mewed, lost in thought.
Lionheart just shook his head. "You are a strange cat."
"I never claimed to be normal." I jokingly responded.
Lionheart gave a hearty laugh before responding, "I wish you showed this side of you when you were an apprentice. That awful monotone and piercing stare you used to give scared the fur off me."
"I did not have this side when I was an apprentice. We are not the same cats we were last moon. I've had time to reevaluate what I see in this clan. I still have my priorities, but now some things are worth more than I used to believe." I meowed, musing in my newfound beliefs.
"You know, I never really got what Bluestar saw in you until now. You were ruthlessly efficient, yet lacking in basic skills. You were sharp of tongue but weak of claw. For a while, you were the scariest cat in camp. You were an outsider fiercely guarding the one cat you liked. Then you softened. It started with Ravenfeather, then Tigerclaw, and even Bluestar. After hearing your story from a few days ago, I think I finally get it. While we knew from the get go that Fireheart was perfect for the clan, you were something else. Above all else, you are a protector. You're a jealous guardian whose unwavering loyalty makes even devout warriors look faithless. That's why she wanted you, why we wanted you. I'm… not proud of how I treated you. I saw you as an outsider and treated you like one. Can you forgive me?" He mewed with regret clear in his voice.
"I do not hold grudges over others' thoughts. There is nothing to forgive. I was an outsider. I still somewhat am. The only issue I have with you was being a terrible mentor for Graystripe, b ut that's not totally on you. Bluestar was testing you."
Lionheart's head shot up as he responded, "Bluestar was testing me?!"
"Among other things. You weren't the only one. Redtail and Tigerclaw were too. If she weren't do you really thing she would have stuck you with such a kittish apprentice?" I asked, doing the equivalent of raising an eyebrow.
"I guess, I never really thought about it." Lionheart replied.
As I saw Lionheart's ears beginning to fall, I huffed out a sigh. "Listen. Graystripe is still a fine warrior. He isn't a failure, but you never really showed him discipline. He's never been properly punished for anything. You still have time to set him straight. You may not be his mentor any more, but he'll still look to you for guidance."
"Where'd you learn to give advice like this?" He asked after a moment of thought.
'Where does any cat learn anything? Experience. I've lived a very strange life. I've done many things. I may not be good at any one particular thing, but I've wandered and done enough to make me semi proficient in all I do. Point is, I may be younger but I've done more, both good and bad. I live with suspicion in my heart and attempt to keep others from doing the same, even you. On this, Bluestar and I are kin. If you wish to gain this wisdom for yourself, you must start asking questions about things you never thought twice about, the whys. Then you must find your answer, no other cat's. Why do you follow the code and what purpose does it serve to you? You've got plenty of time to ruminate here, so I suggest you use it wisely."
With that, I left for the night. Lionheart wasn't going to reopen the wound any time soon. I'd even given him a reason to sit still. Though, I had to wonder what answers Lionheart would find. What wisdom would he glean and how would his own convictions change. After all, the greatest sin to me is living without thought.